


Soul-Searcher

by RavenZaphara



Series: Marooned in the Underground [2]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: #BurgerBlook, ANOTHER obiligatory holiday episode! (Monster Valentine's Day), Alphyne Wedding, Alphys is a lovely scientist but perhaps not the best writer?, Angst, Apparently im the first person to ever say BurgerBlook., Battle, Bonding, Comfort, D&D, Elements of Horror, Eventual Smut, F/F, Feels, Finished, Fluff, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, HUG THEM ALL, Human Experimentation, Hurt/Comfort, Innocent Papyrus, Inspired by Music, Jealous Sans, Let's just make everyone in the Underground cry, M/M, Mettaton is pushy, Now kith, OK BUT SERIOUSLY I CAME BACK FROM A YEAR-LONG HIATUS AND FINISHED THE STORY SO HERE YA GO, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Ouran High School Host Club - Freeform, PTSD Sans, Pain, Papyrus is sly, Phantom of the Opera - Freeform, Profanity, Reader Is Not Frisk, Reader-Insert, Science, Sickness, Skippable Smut, Slow Burn, So much angst, Soul Bond, Soul Sex, Spoilers, Tragic Romance, Undyne is a great bestie, Undyne's Mom is a badass, Veteran!Grillby, alphyne is a thing, amalgamates just want to be friends, by eventual i mean mostly after chapter 32, check chapter summaries for warnings!, domestic fluff chapter incoming., don't be afraid to comment, even more angst, flower!asgore, gaming with skeletons, happy endings, heartfelt confessions, hug them, it's extremely slow burn, like hella feels, like simmer on low heat for three hours kinda slow burn, lots of reference to abuse, mettaton and papyrus is a hesitant thing, mom's spaghetti, muffet and toriel is a thing, obligatory holiday episode, over 175000 words in, past abuse tw, poor gaster, psychic connection, reader has ptsd, reader is adult, requitted love?, sans's parentage, see the new relationship tags?, since i deleted the sub-relationships from the tagline above i'll put them here, swol papyrus, toriel and asgore is a hesitant thing, undertale - Freeform, undyne did a violence, yeah - Freeform, you remember i said slow burn?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-10
Updated: 2017-12-06
Packaged: 2018-05-25 21:26:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 42
Words: 264,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6210733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenZaphara/pseuds/RavenZaphara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>*This story takes place as if Frisk played through the pacifist neutral ending. The souls are gone, Asgore is dead, Toriel is queen, and Alphys is researching a way to get above ground. They assume, after three years, that Frisk is dead.<br/>You, being the first human to enter the Underground since Toriel instated that humans are welcome, are asked to participate in some research, so as to better understand humans. But perhaps there are other reasons?<br/>*There will be spoilers, and Flowey. Despite my original intentions, there will eventually be NSFW, but it will be skippable, for those of you who don't enjoy that kind of thing.<br/>*There will be between 40 and 45 chapters.<br/>*Reader character’s appearance is never outright described, and uses gender-neutral pronouns. Has breasts and uterus, but may or may not bind. Reader character is an adult, and is not Frisk. Tags will be updated as story continues. Please be kind to me, this is my first attempt at fanfiction.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Who Did You Expect to Find?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings for this chapter: Abuse, heavy bruising, scars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited: 4/7/2016  
> Nothing too serious, just some continuity and such...  
> Edited (again) 12/20/2016  
> Major overhaul before starting chapter 40

The bruises were still there, and you knew it. You tried again to pull the suffocating neck of the shirt up, even though it made you feel like choking. The sleeves were long but necessary. You hoped no one would notice you, but you felt like they were all watching. The scars, the bruises, the shame were so visible, but even if they offered to help, how could you leave him? He'd made you this way, made you believe no one else would ever want massive lump of scar tissue. He had made those marks, and perhaps that was what made him believe he owned you. Maybe that was why he felt he could hurt you, and you'd never fight back. Last night had been the same as most nights before.

Tonight he did it again. You were fed up and left the house, eager to go anywhere but there. You hadn’t expected him to come after you. You were terrified he’d kill you this time. He was certainly angry enough to. So you ran.

You hid in the woods. It was temperate that night, but you didn’t know how long your luck would last. You wandered the woods, finding peace in the fact that you were definitely lost. You mused that it was a strange feeling when you realized that you would probably be dead soon but you didn’t really mind. It was as if it wouldn’t truly matter, or that nothing worthwhile would be lost.

You were winded, but that was partially from the incline. You thought to yourself that Mt. Ebott was steeper than you remembered hearing. Then again, you weren’t sticking to trails. If he looked, he wouldn't look past the treeline, lest he risk getting lost. He'd rather expect someone bring his property back to him, or call it home from a safe distance. 

You were tired of being property. You wondered when your existence had ceased to be more than that. You quit thinking. It took too much energy, and you needed it to keep walking. One foot in front of the other over uneven ground. The roots snagged at your feet, the thorns tore at your pants, but you were shambling along in the dying light, made even more fleeting by the canopy of the forest.

You were tired. It was dark. How did you expect to see where you were going?

 

* * *

 

You woke up no less sore than any morning, with light filtering through a hole far, far up above your reach. Nothing was broken, except your fall. Golden flowers lay under you, crushed but still fragrant. You made yourself stand and tried to take in your surroundings. Were you dead? Was any of it really there?

You focused on sensory. Regardless of whether you were dead or not, you could still sense things around you. The smell and feel of the flowers, the pain of your bruises and various scrapes. You could see and hear. But what were you hearing? Weeping?

You followed the sound away from the light of the sun, and through an ornate gateway, into another chamber. A wilted golden flower was all you could see. You swore you heard something, though.

"Hello?" You stammered.

The flower moved, and the weeping stopped. "Frisk?"

"What?" You were genuinely confused.

"Are you Frisk?"

"No? Who is there? Can you help me?"

The flower turned, as if it were looking over its shoulder. "Of course." It seemed to reply dismally. The flower had a face, you realized. Again you focused on sensory to assure yourself what was around you was real. "You _couldn’t_ be Frisk. They died." The flower seemed to beckon you closer. You hesitantly drew near, and it gave you a weak smile. "For years.... I’ve been waiting for Frisk to come back. To help me. But nobody came..." there was a pause, and the flower glared at you, its face twisted into something frightening. "You, though. Why are you here? Maybe you will work..." The flower gave a halfhearted laugh and sank into the ground.

You stood there thinking for a moment. _What the figurative fuck is going on?!_ You stepped forward, looking for other talking flowers, but your search was fruitless.

You moved on to the next gateway, finding yourself in an empty, dank area that reminded you of the basement of your childhood home. The air was dusty and close, cold and stagnant. You moved on quickly, observing creatures in passing. They didn’t seem to want to approach you, but they watched you warily. You almost felt like you should ask them for directions, but you felt silly. A giant frog would not be able to tell you where you were or how to proceed.

You continued, finding piles of leaves and chalk-line paths. You identified traps, understanding that someone had marked the safe paths, perhaps in hopes that someone such as yourself could navigate these catacombs. Eventually, you came to a small house with a barren tree out front. You contemplated what would await you inside, but figured there was nothing better to do than to try. You knocked on the door, but discovered it wedged open. Hesitantly, you entered, hoping that whatever denizens may live here would be friendly.

Dust coated everything even more thickly here. There were, however, tracks from the door down a flight of steps. People came through here occasionally, you supposed. You were about to go down the stairs, when you heard breathing to your left. You listened and recognized the patterned sound of someone dozing heavily. Quietly, carefully, you edged to the doorway, and peeked in to see someone napping in a chair. They appeared to be no taller than you, bundled up in a blue coat, hood up, legs tucked between them and the arm of the chair. From your angle, you couldn't see their face, and their hands were tucked into their hoodie pockets.

You sighed in relief. An obviously sentient being—but would it be safe to approach them? 

“Uhh…” You were about to rouse the stranger, when a shrill chime rang from their pocket.

The stranger flailed briefly, clutching for the phone and flipping it open. He—you were sure he was, indeed, a he—put down the hood, and you stood in shock, still unnoticed. He spoke into the phone. “yeah, pap?” His voice was soft.

“SANS! HOW IS THE SURVEY OF THE RUINS? ANY SIGN OF HUMANS?” The voice over the phone was so loud that you could hear every syllable as if it were in your ear.

You stared at the skeletal man in front of you, and he looked up. Your widened eyes connected with the white pinpricks in his empty sockets. “pap. let me call you back.” He flipped the phone closed and continued staring at you. You backed up. He put out a hand, as if to ask you to wait.

You tried to speak, but no words came out. What could you say? All you wanted to do was run!

“kinda awkward, you know… watching someone sleep.” He muttered, seeming to search for something, his pinpricks sweeping you over in clinical assessment. “how long you been here?”

Prompted, you managed to tell him, “I don’t know. Not long?” It had been drilled into you, if you are asked a question, you answer it.

He grunted and got up. You backed away again. He sighed. “i’m not gonna hurt you, human.” He winked, “unless you give me a reason to, anyway.” You found it hard to breathe, and backed away again. “look, i just wanna help you, okay?” He said. “i was sent to patrol the ruins in case someone fell down here… but i took a nap instead. no one’s been down here for years…” He grinned and shrugged. “just… don’t tell my brother, huh?”

“I… don’t know your brother.” Something in his face softened at your words. Relief?

“oh, yeah… well, let’s fix that. seeing another human will just make his week.” He motioned down the hall. “just take the stairs there. I can go with you or you can go alone, that’s up to you.” You nodded hesitantly and headed for the stairs, trying to stay aware of him as you went. As frightening as he was, you were more terrified to be alone now. _There are more of them_. “my name’s sans, by the way.” He said, following by a piece. “you got a name?”

You told him your name as you walked down the corridor. You didn’t feel entirely safe with a strange creature behind you, but you asked yourself why it mattered anymore. Whatever happened next happened. You told yourself firmly to accept that and just ride as far as you could. “Where are we going, exactly?”

“through that door, first.” He began to mutter to himself. “should i call papyrus back, or should I surprise him…”

The door was large and heavy. You looked back at the skeleton, who was staring at his phone while walking. Something told you he wasn’t going to get the door for you, but it didn’t bother you. In fact that was a relief. You didn't really want him that close. You felt a wry grin on your face, as you struggled with the weight of the door. Light and frigid air rushed in, white powder coming through the crack. You were shocked enough that the door almost shut back. The skeleton pushed one side, still not looking up from his flip phone. Together, you got the doors open enough to get out.

Sans glanced at you as you rubbed your arms carefully. You were thankful you’d worn that ridiculous turtleneck, but now lamented not bringing another layer with you. The air was biting, and cut through the sweater almost as if it weren’t there. Sans sighed and handed over his light blue jacket, revealing his plain t-shirt. “last thing you need is to get sick. we… uh don’t really know what to do with human sicknesses down here.”

You put the jacket on, and followed him as he took the lead. Sans had finally put his phone away and lead you through paths in a pine forest. You marveled at how what appeared to be the sky was bright. “Sans, aren’t we underground?”

“yeah.”

“So… why… how…”

“well, i can answer almost all of your questions about why things are like they are around here—in just one word.” He paused for effect. “magic.” He said it mysteriously, with a goofy gesture. You couldn’t tell if he was being sarcastic or serious. “mind if i ask what brought you to the underground?”

You thought back and then stammered, “I don’t think I want to talk about that.”

Sans nodded respectfully. “the town is just up ahead. hungry?”

You hadn’t thought about it until now, but you discovered that you were. “Yes, actually.”

“good. i was thinking about a lunch break.”

Break? As in he’s been working? The idea made you laugh to yourself. This was becoming more surreal by the moment, but you were definitely happier with surrealism than the reality of what was normal to you. Sans had been talking, still. You realize he’d prompted you. “Sorry, what?”

“i said some food should fix that shiner you got, huh?”

“Shiner?” you touched your black eye. The entire right side of your face felt bruised. Was that from the fall, or…? “How will that fix it?” you asked.

“well, monster food works differently than human food, by what i know.” He said, shrugging again. “it converts straight to energy.”

“Is that specific to monsters?”

He shook his head. “nah, it works on humans, too.” He said softly.

“How many humans have you known?” you asked. “You talk like you’ve known a few.”

Sans didn’t answer. “maybe later, okay?” He said at last. “here’s the town. let’s get some grub. my treat.”

That sounded heavenly right then. Sans led you to a restaurant dubbed Grillby’s, and you followed him in, sighing happily at the abrupt change in temperature. Heads turned, and a majority of the patrons waved or greeted Sans, their eyes lingering on you with some strange look. You weren’t sure what was going on here, but you felt mildly uncomfortable under the weight of the stares. Why did everyone look so... wistful?

“grillbz! i want you to meet my friend, here.” Sans introduced you and the bartender, who was literally on fire. He pushed up his black frames and stared at you, crackling. Sans cleared his throat. “he says it’s nice to meet you.” Sans gestured to the bar, and you both sat down. “what would you like?” he asked once they got situated.

“It doesn’t matter to me. I’ll eat just about anything.” You said as you took of Sans’s jacket and handed it back to him. He thanked you and put it back on, looking much more comfortable.

“grillbz, two burgs and a bottle, huh?” the sparking man walked off, and you watched him go, fascinated that his clothes didn’t burn up. Sans chuckled and elbowed you in the ribs. “stare at him any harder and he might feel you burn a hole through him.”

“Sorry, I don’t mean to be rude.” You said, staring at the wood grain of the counter.

“i was just joking, kid.” He said gently, observing how withdrawn you were, how you had made yourself smaller as if anticipating a punishment. "you're not being rude."

"Why does everyone look so sad?" 

He paused for a moment, as if gathering his words. “it’s just a bit… bittersweet to have another human down here.” You waited for him to continue, but he didn’t. Grillby came back with the burgers and set a bottle of ketchup between you two. Sans gestured for you to use it first but you shook your head. “more for me, then.” He said almost happily, and began guzzling it. The tension broke and you cracked up. He looked at you, his white pinpricks dancing. “what.”

You couldn’t really respond at first. “Just not what I expected.” You finally giggled. You waited for your laughter to subside before biting into the burger. You made an appreciative noise and smiled at Grillby. You could swear he looked very pleased with himself as he began washing glassware.

Sans took another gulp of ketchup, and then set it down. “three… two…” he turned to the door, and you followed his gaze. “one.” The door burst open and a tall, lanky skeleton barged in with a cry.

“SANS! YOU NEVER CALLED ME BACK! I KNEW YOU WERE LAZING ABOU-“ He looked at you, and then back at Sans, expression indiscernible. He looked back at you, his voice much more chipper now. “GREETINGS, HUMAN! I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS… I SEE YOU HAVE ALREADY MET MY BROTHER, SANS.”

“Yes, he’s been very kind. Nice to meet you, Papyrus.” You smiled and offered your hand. Papyrus studied your hand carefully before shaking it. You introduced yourself, immediately liking the enthusiastic skeleton. Boisterous, but you felt no malice in him at all. 

“HUMAN, DO YOU LIKE PUZZLES?”

“pap, don’t you think we should let them rest a bit first?”

The taller skeleton sighed. “FINE. IT’S TOO GREASY IN HERE, ANYWAY. I’LL SEE YOU AT HOME.”

You turned back to Sans. “Hey, was something wrong? For a second there, I thought he was going to cry.”

“he just wasn’t expecting you, is all.”

“I don’t understand.” You admitted.

“we… expected a specific human to fall down here, eventually.” He said finally. “we haven’t heard from them in three years now. we’re not exactly sure how humans age, but i’m pretty sure you’re too old to be them… right?” The hope in his voice was heart-wrenching. “naw… you couldn’t be them... frisk would have recognized me.” You weren’t sure if it was your imagination, but you thought you heard him add, “frisk _always_ recognized me.”

There was that name was again.

“I’m not Frisk. I’m sorry.”

“i… i knew.” He looked away. “don’t apologize, it’s nothin for you to worry about.” He took another excessive gulp of ketchup. Grillby offered you a bag for your food as Sans got up.

“So what should I do now? Where do I go?” you asked.

“i guess that depends on whether you want to go home or not.”

You winced. That didn’t sound very pleasant, but you weren’t sure what you would be getting into here.

Sans noticed your reaction. “might as well come with me, kid. we’ll figure this out one step at a time.”

You followed Sans home, happy that the wind had died down a bit, and that the walk was blessedly short from the restaurant to Sans’s house. Sans opened the door and ushered you in. On the couch to your left was Papyrus, sitting, staring at the TV, with a blue humanoid creature you could only describe as a buff fish with a red Mohawk-mane. The fish-person got up and approached you, glaring intensely. She had a patch over her left eye, and stared down at you in such a way that you shrank back.

“Name’s Undyne, punk.” She said. She smiled at you, to your surprise. There was sadness there, too, but… she seemed to be making an immense effort. You offered your hand, but Sans pushed between you before Undyne could shake it. He gave you a look as if he just saved your life. You wondered if he had, shivering. You settled for smiling at Undyne and greeting her in turn.

Undyne’s eyes shifted to your neck, and lingered. You fidgeted with the collar to the turtleneck, but it was too late. “Someone pummel you, punk?" She turned to Papyrus. "Someone beat up the human. And it wasn’t me this time!”

Papyrus looked up at you. “COME TO THINK OF IT, HUMAN, YOU DO LOOK PRETTY THOROUGHLY TENDERIZED.”

Sans shrugged. “They fell down here, remember?” Undyne shook her head, but left it alone, her eyes still on your neck. She went back to the couch and sat down next to Papyrus, who had turned back to the TV. Sans nodded toward the kitchen, and you followed him. He smiled at you, “i promise we don’t hate you, okay?”

“You’re acting like you’re grieving.” You observed.

“we kinda are, kid.” He said. “like i said, we were hoping.” He sighed. “anyway, make yourself at home. watch some tv, or take a shower, if you like.”

You didn’t have anything to change into, but you wanted badly to accept the offer. It would definitely make you feel better, and let you think about the day you’d had. You settled for sitting down on the floor in front of the couch and watching the show, which was some sort of quiz show. You wondered how great that kid would have to be to make so many creatures grieve for three years. Sans was still in the kitchen, on the phone again, scratching the back of his skull in distress. You couldn’t make out the conversation over the TV, but perhaps that had been his intention.

“HUMAN, DO YOU ENJOY THE SHOW?” Papyrus asked, sounding a bit more enthused than he had earlier.

“Yeah.” You said, not sure how to follow up.

Undyne snorted. “I still don’t know why you watch this stuff, Papyrus.” He didn’t answer. Undyne egged him on. “C’mon. Do you have a crush on Mettaton?”

The tall skeleton looked flustered. Sans peeked around at Undyne with a murderous look. Undyne quieted. You could only guess this was a common scenario. You weren't sure what you felt about that. To avoid alienation, you decided to ask questions. “So what do you guys do down here? I don’t really understand how… this place is possible.”

Undyne began, “I used to be the leader of the Royal Guard, until the Queen changed the policy on humans.”

“NOW I AM THE LEADER OF THE ROYAL GUARD.” Papyrus said.

“Dude, you’re the _only_ member.” She reminded. “We mostly just help Alphys out, and take turns checking the ruins for humans."

“Who’s Alphys?”

“My girlfriend.” Undyne said, proudly. “She’s such a nerd! It’s cute.” Her face softened and then she laughed. “I think you two would get along.”

Sans came into the living room. “i just talked to toriel. she asked to see the human.”

Undyne screwed her face up. “What about?”

Sans shrugged. “alphys and mettaton will probably be in on the meeting, too. she invited us all over to eat.”

Papyrus made a face, “BUT I WAS GOING TO MAKE SPAGHETTI TONIGHT.”

“you cook every night, bro. why not take it easy for tonight?”

Papyrus nodded hesitantly. Undyne got up. “If Alphys is going to be there, then we should definitely go, Papyrus. She might need help with nerd stuff!”

“I DON’T KNOW, UNDYNE. LAST TIME YOU SAID WE WOULD BE HELPING WE WATCHED ALL OF THOSE WEIRD CARTOONS.”

Undyne looked sickened by his words. “Anime isn’t just weird cartoons!”

You looked at Sans and got up, following him to the kitchen while the others bickered playfully. “they’ll catch up. i know a shortcut.” He said, and when you entered the kitchen, you suddenly found yourself in a garden packed with flowers. A throne was set among them, but didn’t look like it had been used in a long time.

“Uhh…”

“Don’t think too hard about it, kid.”

“I’m not a kid!” You finally snapped. “Where are we?”

“Sans! And you must be the human.” A woman’s voice made you turn. You didn’t know what you expected, but you weren’t really prepared for a tall, snow-pelted anthropomorphic goat woman. She dressed in pastel robes, and gazed warmly down at you. She offered a hand that looked like a paw. You stared for a moment, asking why a goat would have paws, and then realized you should shake.

Sans appeared at your side. “this is the queen.” He told you.

“None of that. Call me Toriel, dear.” She looked at you with a wistful expression. “As you are not a child, I must ask. How old are you?”

She must have heard you berate Sans. You looked at him, embarrassed, but discovered his eyes studying you intently. You meekly muttered, “Twenty-four.”

Toriel’s eyes widened. “Oh, wow!” Sans didn’t respond, but looked a bit surprised.

“Why is that special?”

Toriel gestured behind her. “Let’s sit down in the living room.” She said. “I’ll answer your questions, before the others arrive.”

You followed Toriel until you noticed Sans wasn’t moving. He looked the opposite direction. He pulled out his phone and dialed a number. There didn’t seem to be an answer, as he hung up and turned back to you. He noticed you were observing him, and looked away, walking past you and up the stairs Toriel had ascended.

Feeling as if you’d intruded, somehow, you made your way after them. Toriel asked if you had any allergies, smiled at your response, and asked you and Sans to wait patiently for her to set out some ingredients. She hurried off into the adjacent kitchen, and Sans glanced at you.

“so, uh…” he sat down on the charcoal-colored couch. It looked new. You sat down on the opposite end of it. “you’re from the surface, so… did you know frisk?”

You shook your head. “That doesn’t even sound like a real name.” You admitted.

Sans shrugged. “doesn’t sound fake to me.”

“Monster names seem different than human names.” You mused. “Maybe Frisk made up their name?”

Sans didn’t answer, and you felt he was thinking about your words very carefully.

Toriel finally emerged from the kitchen, wearing a white apron over her robes. She thanked you for being so patient and sat down in her rocking chair. “First off, may I ask you some questions?” She asked softly. “I will answer any questions you have, but…”

“they don’t know frisk, tori.” Sans muttered.

Toriel looked a bit stung, but shrugged it off. “Well, that’s one less question…”

You gave her an encouraging smile. “Go on, Toriel, I’m listening.”

She smiled back, but there was pain on her face. “How did you come here? I heard you fell in the ruins…” She hesitated. "If you'd feel better speaking without Sans here, that's fine too."

"hey." Sans playfully interjected, but didn't seem offended. You shook your head.

You had already told Sans that you didn’t want to talk about it, but this woman was the queen of the monsters, wasn’t she? You felt obliged to speak—but that wasn’t all. There was a comforting, motherly nature she exuded. You weren’t familiar with that warmth anymore, but you found yourself wanting to trust her.

“I was chased out of my home, and I got lost in the woods to the south of Mt. Ebott. I was tired, and didn’t realize where I was stepping, I guess.”

Toriel smiled sympathetically at you. “You were exiled from your home? I understand the feeling.”

You flinched a bit. The two monsters eyed you curiously as your fingers began to twitch. “Not entirely… I…” You didn’t want to say that you couldn’t take the beatings anymore, or that you were certain that dying alone in the wilderness was better than giving him the pleasure of hurting you even more. You found yourself tugging at the neck of your sweater, and Toriel’s gaze narrowed. From where he was sitting, Sans couldn’t see your neck and the outrageous bruises, but Toriel certainly could.

“Oh, dear. Let me get you something for that!” She said and stood. Sans looked from you to her in confusion.

“No, it’s okay!” You said. “Please, it’s okay.”

Toriel cast her eyes down at you. “Why would you want to keep your injuries?”

That was a good question, you realized. You smiled despite yourself when you couldn’t come up with an answer.

She came closer to you. “Please, at least let me see the extent of your injuries. I have a rudimentary understanding of how human bodies work. I can help you.”

Your eyes flickered to Sans, who had gotten up. He still didn’t get what was going on until he glimpsed your neck and hissed in a breath. “sweet christ, kid, that looks rough.”

“Sans.” Toriel shot him a glare.

He looked away. “sorry. not a kid, i got it.”

Toriel glared harder. “No, I mean, perhaps you should leave the room? Why don’t you wait out front for Alphys?”

Sans nodded and walked off. When she heard the front door close behind him, she motioned to you. “Would you mind if I see you?”

You were sure this would be okay, or at least, you assured yourself. You tugged the turtleneck off, sighing in relief. It had been a bit too warm now that you weren't in the snow, and you no longer felt as constricted.

Toriel looked sad, only appearing more and more so as she turned over your bruised and scraped arms. She pointed to a circular scar. “What is this?”

“Cigarette burn.” You answered flatly.

She continued to look, eventually moving on to your back, and you heard her choke. You were embarrassed. “Who did this to you?” She asked in absolute horror.

“It doesn’t matter. You wouldn’t know him.”

“The person who chased you off?” You nodded. She looked you in the eyes. “Well, dear… I want you to know you’re safe now. I won’t let anyone hurt you.” You gave her a weak smile. “Would you like some tea? It will take away a good deal of the bruises.”

“Thank you, Toriel.” You nodded.

She waved off the thanks. “That looks absolutely stifling. Would you like something else to wear?”

You weren’t sure if the much larger creature would have anything that would fit you, but at that point you just wanted to be comfortable.

“How about this: I’ll get you something to wear, and you can get a shower. I’ll have the tea ready for you when you get out, and everyone should be here.”

You felt tears burn your eyes. “Thank you. That would be great.”

Toriel helped you up and guided you through the house. Her gentle smile filled you with DETERMINATION.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note added: 12/20/16  
> Thank you to everyone who has been here through this journey so far, and thank you to everyone who is starting the journey now. You are the reason I write. You are awesome, and I care about you ^.^


	2. Now You're Thinking With Portals! (wait, wrong game)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for questions and answers. And food. And plot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited 4/7/2016  
> More basic errors and such. If you see anything I missed, lemme know!  
> Edited (again) 12/20/2016  
> Major overhaul before starting chapter 40.

The hot water made you yelp at first, but it wore away the knots in your shoulders, and you stretched. Gods, this was great. You were thankful that there were basic amenities in there. Soap, shampoo, and conditioner, though you understood that it wasn’t probably designed for humans. It smelled pleasantly, though, and the lather felt amazing against your raw skin. Regardless of how great it felt, though, you had to be especially gentle in areas where the scabbing was still fresh. Luckily, Toriel hadn't seen his most recent and troubling handiwork, the jagged cuts on the insides of your thighs. 

The hot water stung those cuts, but you withstood it, finding the sting to be almost pleasant as you imagined the touches that had caused them washing away forever. You lost track of time as you stood there, and almost slipped when a knock sounded. “Are you okay, my dear?”

“Oh! I’m fine. Sorry…”

Toriel opened the door a crack. “I brought you something to wear for now. I apologize if it's a little big…”

“Thank you so much, Toriel.”

“You’re welcome. I don’t mean to rush you, but I’d like to get you that tea. It will make your bruises go away, at least.”

You remembered the burger from earlier. It had taken care of your face. Why hadn’t it had an effect on your other various bruises? Maybe you needed to eat more of it? You realized you hadn’t eaten more than a bite. Shame, too. It had been very tasty. You must have left it at Sans's house.

“I’ll be right out.” You said.

“Okay. Please don’t be shocked, but the house is getting quite full.”

The warning was appreciated. She misconstrued your silence.

“I promise none of them will hurt you. Some… of them might be hard to get along with…”

Behind her, you heard a yell. “Where’d the punk go? I wanna eat!”

You laughed despite yourself.

“I must go.” Toriel grumbled, shutting the door. You feared for the fish woman.

True to your word, you turned off the water and scrambled out of the shower. It felt incredibly awkward to be in a bathroom that didn’t have a toilet. There was still a sink, with a medicine cabinet hanging over it, faced with a mirror. You toweled off quickly and then blotted the steam from the mirror to see how bad you looked. The black eye was gone, you saw. Your neck looked like it was sloppily painted in purples, blues, and yellows. You sighed and looked at the clothes that Toriel had brought.

You slipped on a pair of stockings that came to your knees. They fit better than you’d expected. There was a grey and cobalt robe identical in make to the one Toriel wore. It had long sleeves and a hood, and felt like soft polished cotton but thicker. You pulled it on over you, sighing in bliss. It draped on you a bit, but only came to your knees. You felt self-conscious without underwear or a bra, but told yourself no one would notice. Perhaps you’d eventually get some new things. You flung your head around, sending droplets of water flying everywhere. Dizzy, you straightened up and took inventory of yourself a final time before opening the door and heading back toward the living room, where a cacophony of varying voices continued to ring.

Toriel must have been in the kitchen again, as you didn’t see her. On the couch, a pile of four monsters talked amongst themselves loudly. The first person to see you was a robot, who was sitting in Toriel’s chair in a way you could only describe as flamboyant. You immediately recognized him from the TV.

The robot jumped up and rushed forward. Everyone else turned to look, the room going quiet except for the robot’s voice, which made you smile despite your nerves. “Oh, darling, you look absolutely ravishing in that! The blue matches your neck exquisitely!”

Undyne cracked up. Sans, who sat between Undyne and Papyrus on the couch, gave you a small shrug as if to apologize. In Undyne’s lap, you noticed a flustered yellow reptilian creature wearing glasses and staring at you, her cheeks becoming red. You assumed this was Alphys.

“M-Mettaton! Don’t be rude!” She stammered.

You couldn’t really reply. Mettaton reached out and grappled for your hand. “Papyrus tells me you like my show.” He went on, as if he weren’t just berated for his behavior. Hesitantly, you nodded. Sans grumbled, and Mettaton twirled to face him. “No one asked you, Sans.” Sans just smiled wider and Papyrus put a hand over his mouth.

“NO, BROTHER. NO PUNS.” He demanded.

Sans didn’t bother trying to move his brother’s hand. He didn’t seem to care enough to. He glanced in your direction and winked, to your confusion. How could a skull move like that? Was he not really made of bone? You realized that Sans had diverted attention from you, and you were thankful. Toriel stepped into the living room. “Dinner is ready, everyone.” She spoke with authority. Undyne easily hoisted Alphys, who squeaked in surprise. Carrying Alphys like a plushy, Undyne darted into the kitchen with a triumphant laugh. Papyrus followed almost as eagerly.

Metatton shrugged and shook his head in a way that would have tossed his hair if it hadn’t been made of metal. “Oh, Queenie, I _so_ wish I could enjoy your cooking.”

Toriel smiled politely at the robot. “Maybe Alphys can work on some updates for you.”

You snuck past Mettaton as Toriel made small talk, and Sans caught up with you at the door to the kitchen. “Thanks, Sans.” You said quietly. The aroma of a home-cooked meal assaulted you, and you barely heard his reply.

“no problem.”

Everyone piled up in the living room, and you found yourself sitting in the floor in front of the couch. Undyne teasing Alphys while she tried to eat, terrible jokes, and Mettaton’s endless theatrics nearly brought you to tears with your laughter. Between Toriel and Sans making endless puns, Papyrus was nearly beside himself with frustration.

At last, you got up and offered to take all the empty plates away. Toriel shook her head and took them herself. When she came back, she sat down in her chair and looked around at everyone. It was quiet, and she began to speak. “I promised our new friend that I would answer their questions.” She looked at you. “Is it fine if they are all here, or would you rather wait for another time?”

You felt awkward, but replied, “Maybe a few questions?”

She smiled. “What would you like to ask?”

“Can you tell me about Frisk?”

You hadn’t thought it could get quieter, but it did, and you felt bad for asking a question you knew would bring a bad reaction. Toriel smiled wistfully, and looked away. Not even Mettaton spoke up. At last, Toriel began. “I was living in the ruins, as I had exiled myself from the palace… I surveyed daily for humans. It was always children who fell down, and… I suppose children are a weakness of mine.” You watched her as she sighed, cleared her throat to avert tears, and continued, stronger now. “I found the child being attacked by a strange monster I hadn’t seen before, and rescued them. I tried to give them a home in the ruins… but they wanted to go on. They wanted to return home. I… didn’t want to let them go. You must understand, my husband, Asgore, was set on killing any humans who fell down here. I just wanted to keep them safe.” She sniffed. “But they were too determined… and I let them go.”

Sans spoke up now, softly. “i, uh, was a sentry, stationed near the ruins. when i met the kiddo, i knew there was something special about them. y’know, other than being a human. i, uh, also promised toriel that if i ever saw a human, i’d protect them.” He chuckled. “so i may or may not have hid the kid from paps.”

“I WANTED TO CAPTURE THE HUMAN SO THAT UNDYNE WOULD LET ME INTO THE ROYAL GUARD.” Papyrus erupted, causing you to jump from the sudden volume. “BUT THE TINY HUMAN JUST WANTED TO EAT SPAGHETTI AND SOLVE MY PUZZLES.”

Undyne grunted. “I actually attacked the little punk. Every chance they got, they ran away, and I lost them in Hotlands. I really hate Hotland, by the way. Especially when I’m in a full suit of metal armor!” Alphys laughed a bit. “I had collapsed from the heat, but they poured some water on me, and I managed to retreat. I… was still so hard on them, though.” She scowled.

Alphys adjusted herself on Undyne’s lap, and tried not to make eye contact with you. “M-my lab is in Hotland, s-so n-naturally, I met Frisk next. That was when Mettaton was still in beta.”

“Oh, darling, we don’t talk about that anymore!” Mettaton laughed.

Alphys continued with some gentle urging. “Mettaton was programmed to… kill humans. Somehow, they managed to survive him time and time again…”

Mettaton sighed in aggravation. “Partially because you had planned the whole thing that way.”

“Shut up!” Undyne snapped at the robot.

Alphys covered her face in embarrassment. “No, he’s right. I just… wanted to be needed. I wanted to be good for something… S-so I continued to make situations in which I could save them from Mettaton. Until he t-trapped them in a room and fought them where I couldn’t get to them.”

Mettaton picked up from there. “It kind of backfired for me. The amazing body you see before you is a highly upgraded version of what I had at the time. This one is mu~ch more efficient. I expended too much energy, and my batteries died. It was quite embarrassing! But my ratings were never higher.”

Alphys continued. “I secluded myself in my lab, feeling… like g-garbage. Next thing I knew, they shoved an envelope under my door, and…” She turned beet red. “I-it wasn’t s-signed, so I f-figured it was from them, s-since they were there when I opened the d-door.”

Undyne smiled widely, “Wish I could have seen how you reacted to my letter.”

“A-anyway… w-we went on a d-d-date.”

You gave Alphys a puzzled look.

Undyne smiled. “I ran into them on their date.”

“At the worst possible times!” Alphys muttered, beet red again.

Undyne shrugged. “Look where it got you, though, Alphys. Is it really that embarrassing?”

Toriel cleared her throat, and the two jumped as if they’d forgotten their audience. Sans snorted.

“I never saw Frisk after that.” Alphys admitted.

Everyone else nodded.

Toriel sighed. “I eventually couldn’t stand the waiting. I left the ruins and went to the capital as quickly as I could… but when I got to the barrier…” Everyone was silent as the queen cried. “The souls were gone… and I’d lost another child. If… If I had gotten there a little quicker…”

“YOUR MAJESTY, YOU CAN’T KEEP BEATING YOURSELF UP OVER THIS!” Papyrus said, but there was sadness in his eyes, too.

It was quiet except for the noise of Toriel sniffing. Sans spoke. “the kid must have had somewhere important to be. a family to get back to.” He said. “i just hope it was worth it. i hope they’re okay.”

You felt the heaviness in the room. You wanted to cut the tension but didn’t know how.

Mettaton broke the silence by sitting on the floor next to you. “Did you have any less depressing questions, darling?”

“I’ve got one!” Undyne said, causing everyone to jump a bit. “Where are they gonna live?”

“Hmm. That is a good question.” Toriel stated.

“THE HUMAN CAN STAY WITH US! THE MORE THE MERRIER!”

Undyne laughed. “You only have one couch, dude, and I’m crashing on it!”

Alphys and Mettaton exchanged glances. Alphys stammered, “I don’t think it’s a good idea for them to live at the lab. It’s n-not very homey.” Mettaton was oddly quiet about this.

Toriel sighed. “Well, you could stay with me, I suppose. It’s a shorter walk from here to Hotland, anyway.”

You perked up. “What do you mean by that?”

She looked shocked. “Oh, I forgot to ask you, I’m sorry! Alphys is the royal scientist, and… since humans are no longer hunted in the underground, we’ve wanted to take a step towards peace. I want to formally request your help in researching humans.”

Alphys chimed in, “It s-should be completely safe, the tests and things I wanted to run. There are so few of us who have ever seen the s-surface, and we have very little information on humans o-other than their staggering strength…”

Toriel nodded to Sans. “I was hoping Sans would help, as well. He has the most insight on the nature of humans.”

You give him a curious look, but he won’t meet your eyes. His smile seems hollow, and his eyes are dark. For a moment, you thought he was lifeless, but then you heard him mutter, “that’s not a good idea. last time i blew something up. it was an **oxidant**.” The pinpricks of white in his sockets flared back. Papyrus shoved Sans off the couch, almost making him fall on you.

You and Tori laugh, and she gave him an expectant look.

He grumbled in agreement and settled on the floor. “i’ll help, but only **periodic** ally.”

Alphys facepalmed, and you giggled. Sans seemed egged on by your laugh, but Papyrus reached down and covered his mouth again.

“PLEASE DON’T ENCOURAGE HIM, HUMAN.”

Toriel got your attention. “It’s getting late, so we need to figure this out. Will you help us?”

You could hardly refuse. After all, there was no harm in a few questions, right? You could learn something, yourself, you were sure.

“I’ll help you.” You finally replied.

Alphys smiled and opened her mouth to say something. Toriel cut her off. “I expect actual results, Alphys.” Her tone wasn’t exactly rude or lofty, but it was very stern. “Watch cartoons on your own time.”

Alphys flinched. “Y-yes, ma’am.” She looked at you, a bit less excited than before. “When I heard that you w-were coming here, I got you a phone. Th-that way, if you’re ever in trouble, or need to call in, or something, you can.” She handed you a touchscreen, which surprised you.

“Wow, this is awesome! These are a luxury on the surface, and you’re just… giving it to me?”

Alphys blushed. “If you c-can’t consider it a gift, think of it as a work device. My number is already p-programmed in.” She stammered. “I made it myself, anyway, from old parts.” You marveled, and she looked away, blushing.

Toriel told you her number, and you hastily put it in. Papyrus took your phone and put his and Undyne’s numbers in. You waited for Sans to offer his number but he just shrugged. “you’ll see me at work, anyway.”

Papyrus shot him a look. “LAZYBONES! THE NICE HUMAN NEEDS YOUR NUMBER!”

He wouldn’t look up at Papyrus.

“It’s okay, Papyrus.” You assured him.

“IT’S NOT OKAY! HE’S BECOME TOO LAZY TO EVEN TOUCH A FEW BUTTONS!”

Sans just shrugged. “i need to get my phone some glasses. it keeps losing its **contacts**.”

Papyrus let out an agonized screech.

Alphys tugged on the shoulder of your robe. “H-have you thought about where you want to stay?”

You glance back at Toriel. “May I stay in the Ruins? There’s a nice little house there… well, what I saw of it was nice, anyway. I could keep an eye out for humans, too!”

Toriel looked hesitant. “You’ll be working a lot… Undyne and Papyrus will still need to make rounds in the ruins. That means they’d be coming in and out of the house a lot.”

You smiled at the two monsters in question. “That’s fine by me.” Papyrus covered his cheeks with his red gloves and Undyne smiled at you.

“It’s an awful long walk, though…” She observed.

“How’d I get here so quickly?”

Sans was silent.

“Well, they won’t h-have to walk the entire way, Toriel. The River Person can take them to Hotland from Snowdin.” Alphys rebutted.

“Well…” Toriel sighed in defeat. “If you ever get lonely, come visit me. Or call, if you’d like.” She looked at Alphys again, that stern tone creeping into her voice again. “And remember. This research is of the utmost importance!” Alphys nodded furiously, almost hitting Undyne in the face with the spines on the back and top of her head. Toriel got up and offered her hand to help you up off the floor. “It’s getting late, my dear. We’ll talk again soon. If you have any more questions for me, please call, okay?”

Undyne and Alphys got up, and began walking to the door. Papyrus and Sans followed. “HUMAN, WE SHOULD ALL WALK TOGETHER! THAT WAY WE CAN HELP YOU LEARN THE UNDERGROUND’S LAYOUT.”

Mettaton locked arms with you, to your surprise, and you found yourself dragged out of the house, waving goodbye to Toriel, thanking her again for the meal and the tea. The robot hummed to you, and you decided to ask him something that you’d been wondering. “Where do people get clothes around here?”

Apparently you asked just the right thing, because Mettaton became hysterical, calling up a few friends and demanding that they free up some time for the next day, fuming that they would object to a call so late in the evening. After hanging up, he turned to you. “Tomorrow, when you’re done with whatever tinkering Alphys is doing, we’re going to get you alllll fixed up. Blue looks amazing on you, darling, but I can imagine what would look even better!” He continued to enthuse about different trappings as you listened and laughed with him. When you and your company reached a large, white, windowless building, Alphys and Mettaton bid the rest of you farewell. You made a note that this was tomorrow’s destination. It really hadn’t been too far from the palace. You were almost a bit sad to see the robot leave, but he adamantly stated that both Waterfall and Snowdin made him ache, and if he stayed long enough, he feared getting rusted. “Just the idea of it, ugh!” He shuddered. “I’m going to go put on some oils. Have a fabulous night, darling~!”

“Alphys said something about a River Person?” You asked the remaining party.

“WE CAN’T ALL RIDE AT ONCE. I DON’T WANT TO LEAVE YOU ALONE SOMEWHERE. YOU MIGHT GET HURT!”

“How would I get hurt?” You asked the bundle of energy as he continued past the dock where a mysterious figure waited.

Undyne clapped you on the back. “You’re a human. Even though you’re really strong, you’re also kinda weak! You need to do some exercises, so no one but me can beat you up!”

“she has a point. some monsters around here still have some mistrust for humans. i can’t say i blame them, but until they see you’re just as harmless as frisk, we need to make sure no one hurts you.”

Your heart sank. Everyone had been so nice, but now you understood. You were a minority here. Just because the monsters you’d encountered had open minds and open hearts didn’t mean you would always be that lucky. You remembered the grotesque countenance of the flower you’d met before. Suddenly, you felt fear grip your stomach. Were all monsters secretly that terrible? Was the friendliness all a charade?

“HUMAN! DON’T FALL BEHIND!” Papyrus grabbed your hand and tugged you along.

Sans glanced at you, and laughed when he saw your face. “paps, you might wanna let them go.”

You covered your red face with the other hand and jogged to catch up to Undyne, who had taken the lead.

“I was serious about training, punk.” She said. “Though, with how your neck looked, I wouldn’t be surprised if you were a lot better at fighting than I thought…” she smiled. “But the idea of a fight is to make the other guy look worse than you!” You felt ashamed. You realized you had never fought back against your abuser. Did that make you weak? “Hey, hey, I didn’t mean anything by it! Don’t cry, hit me!” She cried out. “It’ll make you feel better!”

“undyne, maybe you should wait. they look **dead** tired.”

“Alright, alright. But don’t think you’re getting away so easily next time!”

The ambience around you was so relaxing. You stared at the glittering flecks above you in wonderment. “HUMAN, I HAVE A QUESTION.”

“Yeah?” You ask, too mesmerized by your surroundings to mind his loud voice.

“WHAT IS THE SURFACE LIKE?” He asked, “IS IT REALLY LIKE THAT?” He pointed at the sparkling roof of the cave.

You thought for a moment. “It’s hard to explain. I guess I never really appreciated the sky enough… But there’s no moon. No clouds.”

“WHAT IS A MOON?”

Sans sighed. “we’ll talk about that later, paps.”

You were overcome with a feeling you’d never thought you could have. Homesickness rushed over you. You missed the cool breeze and the glow of the moon against the mists, staring up at the stars from the branch of a tree. You looked around. You realized it was getting colder again, and you shuddered. You saw trees and white ahead.

“welcome back to snowdin.” Sans told you. “i’m gonna head on inside the house, guys. that was more than enough walking for me.”

“SANS! YOU—“ but he had already rushed into the house quicker than you would have thought he could.

“Ah, leave him, Papyrus! Let’s race to the ruins! Last one there eats last week’s leftovers!”

That didn’t sound good, but you quickly realized you were being left behind. Resigned to your fate, you walked the rest of the way, following their footprints. You heard a twig crack behind you, and you remembered Papyrus saying he didn’t want you to be attacked by other monsters. You spun, looking around, and then ran in the general direction of the ruins without looking forward, smashing into Sans.

He didn’t even budge, to your surprise, but you fell backward. He reached out his hand to help you up, and you took it without thinking. You heard a noise that confused you at first, and then made you giggle like a child. He showed you his palm and the small whoopee cushion tied to it. He winked, and you began walking together, not needing to really talk. At last, Sans asked, “wanna beat them there? i know a shortcut.” You knew that the shortcut hadn’t hurt the last time, but you didn’t know how it worked, or what it really was. You were reluctant. “you really don’t want the leftovers. i swear i heard it growling.”

You laughed and agreed, and found yourself almost immediately in the living room of the ruins. He looked around and then smiled at you. “you got some homemaking to do, huh?”

“You offering to help me clean?”

“no. but paps will if you ask.”

“C’mon, Sans, I know you could help me. I’ll even cook something—“ You realized you didn’t know if there was any food in the house.

“just ask someone else. no offense, but i got other things to do.” He muttered. “see you tomorrow.” He winked and then disappeared, only the faintest tinge of a blue whisp remaining before it, too, faded out.

“Shortcut my ass.” You muttered and then looked around the house. You noted with a small amount of humor that the house was a mirror image of Toriel’s abode. You then recalled she’d said this had been her home before she reclaimed the throne.

You found a bedroom packed with children’s toys and clothes. It made you feel very uneasy. You shut the door and resolved to not open it again. You heard another, heavier door slam, and you fell in the floor from the fright of it. “NYEH HEH HEH HEH! I WIN!”

“NGAAAH! I hate snow!” Undyne roared.

“WAIT, UNDYNE… WHERE IS THE HUMAN?!”

“I’m up here, Paps!” you called, and drank in the shocked silence that ensued. Footsteps thundered up the stairs, and you saw both of the tall figures staring at you in awe and suspicion. “I found a shortcut?”

Papyrus squinted at you.

“Wait—that means I lost?!” she groaned in anger. Then she glared at Papyrus, smiling in such a way that you felt second-hand intimidation. “Unless you want to double the stakes?”

“THE LEFTOVERS ARE SPAGHETTI, UNDYNE. NOT STEAK.”

You laughed, and Undyne grabbed his head and glared into his eye sockets. You thought her eye was made of fire from the intensity. “No. If I beat you home, you have to eat all the spaghetti in the house!”

“THAT SOUNDS LIKE THE OPPOSITE OF A GOOD IDEA.”

“Then don’t lose!” She guffawed and ran away down the stairs, getting a headstart on the lanky skeleton.

“Goodnight!” You called after them, before hearing the door slam behind them. You suddenly felt afraid, alone in this house that you didn’t know. The silence was disturbing, especially since you hadn’t felt such absolute deafening quiet since you fell into the ruins. You thought for a moment, trying to count the hours between waking up in the Underground and the present. You gave up, and intruded on another room, this one had obviously been Toriel’s, but it was almost entirely barren. The bed was still dressed, and the dresser was empty save for a faded robe in the bottom drawer. There was a potted glowing mushroom on a desk, adding a pale blue light to the room. It was peaceful. You took off the robe and the stockings, which were wet from falling in the snow earlier. You lay them over the dresser and hoped they’d dry overnight before collapsing on the bed and almost immediately falling asleep.

 

You woke up with tears on your face. You looked at your new phone and saw that it was 5am. You pulled the still-damp robe on and went to the bathroom and stared at your neck and face.

“It’s just a dream.” You assured yourself. “He can’t hurt me here.” But you realized it was a possibility he could fall down here, as well, looking for you. You were afraid. You looked in the mirror, stared deep into your eyes, and glared, voice firmer this time. “He will never hurt me again.”

Your newfound courage filled you with DETERMINATION.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See something I missed? Did I make an error? Tell me! 
> 
> Please don't be afraid to comment on my stories ^.^


	3. Cryptic Warnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day One of the experiments. Sans is kinda rude, isn't he? Hmmmm I wonder why?  
> Just gonna drop this here, btw:  
> http://zarla.deviantart.com/art/Do-you-even-lift-586823167

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited: 4/16/16  
> Just minor things.

You searched through the house, taking inventory of the things you needed. Body wash, shampoo, conditioner, food, a broom, clothes, the list went on forever. You wondered if Sans would walk you to work, or perhaps show you another shortcut. You figured it wasn’t likely. The more you thought about it, the more you suspected that he didn’t really like you. You weren’t sure if you’d done something to anger him, or if he’d been slow to warm up to Frisk, as well.

Papyrus showed up around six-thirty, ready to spend all day wandering around in the ruins. He brought you a container of spaghetti for breakfast. You appreciated the gesture, even though it didn’t sound like a good idea. You asked how last night’s little competition ended. Papyrus laughed triumphantly, and then, a bit sheepishly replied, “SHE’S NOT USED TO RUNNING IN THE SNOW, SO I BEAT HER AGAIN. SHE ATE ALL OF THE SPAGHETTI IN A FIT OF RAGE… SO AFTER WORK, I NEED TO GO GET MORE INGREDIENTS.” He rubbed the back of his head. “TODAY WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY DAY OFF, BUT SHE’S VERY SICK RIGHT NOW.”

You thought for a moment how, if monster food translated directly into energy, one would become sick. Perhaps spoiled food took away your energy rather than contributing to it? You decided you’d ask Alphys eventually. You realized you should probably start walking. “Papyrus?”

“YES, HUMAN?”

“Where is the river person?”

He looked worried for a moment. “I’M SURE TORIEL WOULD BE FINE WITH ME SHOWING YOU THE WAY BEFORE I START WORK.” He told you and together you exited the ruins.

“After I get done with work and whatever Mettaton’s taking me out for, why don’t I go with you to go shopping?” You offered as you walked, semi-constantly rubbing your arms through the robe to restore warmth. The air wasn’t as biting today, but the snow was a bit deeper. You stumbled twice before Papyrus picked you up effortlessly.

“THAT SOUNDS FUN!” He agreed, walking as if this were no new thing to him, packing a smaller person. “YOU AND SANS BOTH HAVE TROUBLE WALKING IN THE SNOW. I THINK IT HAS TO DO WITH HAVING SHORT LEGS!”

You giggled, thinking that he probably ended up packing Sans a lot. That would make sense; Sans was definitely lazy enough. The idea of Papyrus carrying the smaller skeleton around made you smile. You looked up at the monster, and tried to remember the last time you’d felt safe with anyone. Caution nibbled at you, and you reminded yourself that many people seem trustworthy at first. Your abuser certainly had. You continued to stare at Papyrus, as if you could see his true intentions if only you kept at it. Abruptly but gently, he set you on your feet and pointed in a direction. “GO STRAIGHT THAT WAY, AND YOU’LL FIND THEM. TELL THEM YOU WANT TO GO TO HOTLAND. CAN YOU FIND YOUR WAY FROM THERE?”

“I… I think so.” You said, glad you were too short for him to see your face at the moment. “Thanks, Paps.” You looked up when he didn’t immediately respond. He was covering his cheekbones with his gloved hands again. “What’s wrong? Do you not like being called that? I can stop.”

He shook his head, “I JUST WISH I HAD A CUTE NICKNAME TO CALL YOU, TOO.”

You smiled warmly at him, and he made an even cuter face. His entire face turned red. “If you think of one, tell me.” You said, finding it really difficult to mistrust that face. He looked torn, as if he were trying to pick a name right at that moment. “I need to get to work, then. Take care, and I’ll see you later, okay?”

He nodded, unable to reply audibly, and turned to sprint back toward the ruins. You wondered how often the loud skeleton found it that difficult to speak and smiled to yourself, following the directions given you.

The robed figure you’d seen before stood on a small wooden boat. It was barely big enough for them and one passenger. You understood why Papyrus had said they would have had to split up now. “Are you the River Person?”

“Would you like a ride?” They asked, their voice reminding you of how smoke looks. Rather than sounding frightening, it made you curious.

“Yes. I need to go to Hotland.”

“Hop on.” You cautiously climbed on, and the River Person began to sing softly, the boat moving faster as they vocalized. “Traaa-la-laa. Never trust that you’re alone. Tra-la-loo.”

The words made a shiver run down your spine, but you hesitated to ask them anything. They didn’t seem much for answers.

You realized that you were in Hotland, and climbed off the boat. You quickly departed from the River Person, deciding that you were definitely not going to ask for a ride again unless there were no other options. The feeling of someone watching you followed you, until you saw the lab looming to your right. You nearly sprinted to the door, sighing in relief when it opened automatically.

It was very temperate in there, you noted. Not too hot, not too cold. It was a welcome change to the immediate shift from Snowdin to Hotland. You looked around but didn’t see Alphys anywhere. You were beginning to wonder if you’d gone into the wrong building, somehow, but you could remember seeing her and Mettaton go here last night.

“Wow! You’re here early.” Alphys said, coming out of a room you assumed was the bathroom. “I, uh, was just… cleaning up. Not really used to people being here.” She looked a bit scared, but cleared her throat and stammered, “C-come with me. There are parts of the lab you’re not allowed in, though, so don’t wander.” She started walking back into the bathroom, and after a moment you followed. Alphys led you through a corridor, and pulled a switch. Lights flickered on, and you stopped to read a report screen. You didn’t even get a full sentence before Alphys tugged you along, apologizing along the way.

“We’ve got a lot of work to do, even though today we were just going to do some preliminary studies. I don’t know too much about humans, so I need to understand what to be careful of.” You noticed that when she talked about working, she took on a whole different persona. She stood straighter, spoke more firmly. “I don’t know what I’m looking for, here, but…” You were passing through a room full of beds.

“Did this use to be an infirmary?”

She jumped, and shrank a bit. “Yeah, you c-could s-say that.”

You felt like you had stricken her, or something. You decided to change the subject as you both continued to another room. “So where’s Mettaton?”

“I don’t know. He doesn’t usually stay here during the day. He’s getting things ready for another tour.”

“Ah, he said something about clothes last night.”

“Oh, yeah, he’ll be back for that. Speaking of which.” She gestured to a chair as she flicked a switch. “Toriel gave me your pay.”

“Pay?” Relief swept you. How had you not asked sooner?

“Of course she’s going to pay you for your participation. It’s not like you’ll be able to have a second job, not with the amount of work we have to do.” She reached into her lab coat pocket and her eyes narrowed. “Oh, god where is it? Where’d I put it? Oh nooo.”

“Calm down! We’ll find it in a bit. Not like anyone could just pick it up and run with it, right?”

Alphys looked like she could throw up. “I’ll be right back. Stay here.” She said and darted away, shutting you in.

Well, that was comforting.

To be fair, you didn’t leave the room. You didn’t want to make her even more upset. Instead, you focused on your surroundings. Whenever you felt anxious or like you weren’t in control of your life, which had been the majority of your time for the past few years, you took the time to rely on your base senses.

You were still sitting, breathing deeply, observing the door, when Alphys came back in, looking flustered. She handed you a velvet drawstring bag. “F-found it. I had to get you a different b-bag. The p-purse she g-gave me… Anyway.” She averted eye contact and rushed over to a cabinet. “First off, I need to know about how human bodies work. The most I know about that is from anime.”

You let out a laugh and startled her. “That’s not very accurate.”

“I… I figured as much. Humans can’t do magic, and I have never seen a human with cat ears before…”

“Yeah, humans don’t really work that way.”

“The most I have on it are some old textbooks I found at the dump. Human garbage gets tossed down here sometimes.”

“So you do have textbooks, then.”

“Well… they’re kinda water-logged.” She admitted. “Some of the pages are stuck together, and the text is blurry or ruined. I salvaged some of the diagrams, though.”

“Well… maybe if you tell me about monsters, I can tell you how humans are different.”

She nodded, still rummaging in the cabinets. “That’s fair. Where should I start?”

“Well, everything is made up of cells. That much has to still be true, right?”

“Yes. From the older research I found files about… well, the dead humans. Since humans don’t turn to dust after they die, like monsters do, we were left with bodies to look at in the name of science. The old royal scientist wasn’t exactly looking for the same things we are, though.”

“Monsters turn to dust when they die.” You repeated it to make sure you had heard her correctly.

“Yes. Monsters are made of magic. You could say we are held together by our souls, and when our soul’s connection to our body is disrupted gravely, we become like dust.” She explained. “There are books about things like this in the library in Snowdin, if you’re interested in a deeper explanation.”

You made a mental note about it. “So, you talk about souls.”

“Yes, monsters and humans alike have souls.”

You shrugged. “I thought souls were a myth. Something that religious people talk about.”

She gave you a look. “I can prove to you otherwise. Your soul is the culmination of your being. Humans have very different souls than monsters, but they still have them.”

“You sure about that?” You muttered, thinking about the humans you’d encountered in life, including your abuser.

“Absolutely positive. Like I said, it can be proved.” She had set out a series of tools while you had been talking, and now turned to face you. “I w-wanted to wait until after we got through the p-preliminary things before jumping into that, but… I have to admit, I have wanted to see a human soul up c-close and be able to take notes.”

“Hey, what do you mean by that?”

She came closer. “Do you want to see it?”

“Is this gonna hurt?”

“I’ll be gentle, so it sh-shouldn’t.” She said. “It might feel weird, but I wouldn’t know p-personally.” She smiled. “Like I said earlier monsters’ bodies and souls are kind of together. Separating the two has very undesirable effects. So I only have what I learned from Frisk.”

You settled into the chair. “Go on then, now you have me curious, too.”

Alphys smiled, red tinting her cheeks. She held her hand out, palm flat, about two inches from your chest. You began to feel like you had been asleep at a desk. Everything felt like it was made of jelly, and your body was almost entirely numb. You noted that you couldn’t see color, except from the almost painfully bright glow emanating from your chest. You couldn’t understand how such a dark color could appear so blazingly.

“Huh.” You managed to smile. “That reminds me of a video game. Just… give me a sword shaped like a key, and I’ll be off to get some hair gel.”

Alphys gave you a curious look and began writing down notes. “Are you delirious?”

“I’m not sure I’m entirely lucid, but…” you sighed. “Wow, I’ve actually always hated that color, but now that it’s the only color I can see, it’s kind of nice. Warm, even.”

“Fascinating! You can’t see colors?”

“Usually I can, but… Gods, this thing is bright.”

“Hmmm. The strange thing is I’ve not seen a soul with that color before.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, there are seven color variations that we knew of. This is something different. The closest word I can associate to it is maroon. What do you think?”

You nodded, which took a bit of effort, and you even felt a bit dizzy from the motion.

“Hmmm… Hold on a bit while I take notes, okay? Tell me if you feel anything outstanding, so I can record it.”

“I feel like I’m drunk.”

“Noted.” She said, smiling with her brows knitted in concentration. After a while, she cleared her throat. “Can you try moving it?”

“What do you mean? I’m… stuck here. I can’t possibly move!”

She took more notes. “Just try. Concentrate.”

You tried, urging it with your thoughts. The more you harried the glowing shape, the less you felt like it would move, but, with even more palpable effort, it moved. You let out a victorious noise which came out a lot less dignified than you’d intended. Alphys jumped and gave you an irritated look. “I moved it.” You said in defense.

She smiled. “Can you do it again?” You focused, and got it to move a bit more. “Hmm… try another direction.”

You couldn’t fathom three-dimensional space at the moment. What she was asking was a step ahead of what you could do. However, you tried your hardest.

“did i miss anything?” Sans said out of nowhere. Your soul flew directly into Alphys, who yelped and fell to the floor.

“Sans!” She yelled. “You scared them!” She got back up and began taking notes. “In any case, that seemed to help…”

“I… can’t move it back to me.” You realized, feeling panic well up in you. “Please help.”

Sans shook his head. “really getting to the **soul** of things, huh alphys?” He joked. She didn’t reply, seeming to still be irritated. He gave you a look, his left eye glowing blue. “don’t worry, i’ll help ya.”

You felt like you were in danger, and looked to Alphys for help. She didn’t respond though, as she was very busily recording her findings. “I’m making a note to put a bell on the door. I didn’t hear you come in.”

He ignored her and stared intently into your eyes with that one glowing socket. You could feel your soul become very heavy, and you almost couldn’t breathe from the pressure. Your body began to react, clawing at your chest as you gasped. You saw your soul as it floated closer to you. It was a deep, rich blue. When it was within your reach again, it went back to its original murky color. You took in deep gulps of air, nearly making yourself sick in the process.

“so i didn’t miss anything, then?” he asked.

“I’m just taking notes. Can you at least try to contribute to something today?”

“depends on what we’re looking at.” He said with a shrug.

At a loss of how to understand your surroundings, as you can’t really focus on sensory that doesn’t react, you decide to talk to the lazy skeleton. “Why was Toriel so insistent you work with us?”

“Well, it’s no secret that Sans can see things that other monsters can’t.” Alphys said, still scribbling.

He gave you a look. “monsters can’t see a human’s soul without exposing it in battle. i see through the walls that people erect around themselves, into the core of their being. that’s how i identify threats. it’s always been that way.” His eyes were darkened now, and you thought back to when he’d first saw you. He’d been staring at you intently, as if looking for something.

You realized that if he’d seen something malignant in your soul, he would have killed you right then. Well, that meant there was nothing wrong with you, and you had nothing to fear, right?

“You’re very quiet now.” Alphys observed. “Are you okay?”

You weren’t sure how to respond. Outside, you heard something crash, and Alphys let out a noise of absolute terror. “Oh god, not now!” She cried, dropping the clipboard of notes on the desk, and ran out of the room, coming back almost immediately with relief clear on her face. “It was just Mettaton.”

Sans rolled his eyes and picked up Alphys’s notes. “so tell him to quiet down. we don’t want their soul to fly off again.” He grumbled and started to read.

Alphys sunk against the door, looking like she could melt. You wondered why she was so stressed out. You almost asked, but the effort of speaking was too much.

She noticed that you were getting paler. “Hey, maybe we should s-stop for the day, huh? Let’s get your soul back in there.” She said, putting her palm out a couple inches from your soul and pressing toward your body with it. When it met with your flesh you gasped from the warmth and cringed from the tension of your body and its senses suddenly assaulting you all at once. Your eyes watered as other colors abruptly assaulted your eyes. You realized that the only color other than your soul’s you’d seen had been when Sans had used his magic.

You decided to bring it up to Alphys, in case the information was pertinent, but she was busy leaning out the door. “Just a bit longer, okay?” She said. “I’m serious. Just a bit longer and I’ll be out for the night.”

Sans looked at you and winked. You still didn’t understand how that worked. He grinned and looked away. “keep staring at me like that and people might get the wrong idea.”

You yelped and looked away, much to his amusement.

“by the way, thank you for being nice to my brother. he seems to really like you.” You met his eyes again, but saw nothing but cold in his empty sockets. “do me a favor and never hurt him if you value your life.” His smile became more wicked. “do you value your life?”

You nodded. The white pinpricks in his eyes returned. “good. makes my job a bit easier.”

“You can see through people, but you can’t tell if I’m bad?”

He shook his head and went back to reading the notes. “good people can do bad things. i’ve seen that a million times.”

You couldn’t respond. “Do I get to see those too?” You asked finally, pointing at the notes.

“maybe at some point.” He said. “don’t count on it.”

Alphys helped you to your feet. “Well-no-time-like-the-present, let’s-get-you-out-of-here-so-you-can-go-with-Mettaton. I’ll see you tomorrow? Great, let’s just….” She ushered you out of the door and almost dragged you out of the lab, leaving you out in the room you’d arrived in. Mettaton was staring at things on a desk absolutely covered in papers, figurines, and wrappers. “I’ll see you in the morning, just wait for me here, don’t come down here without me, okay? Bye!” She disappeared back into the lab, closing the door behind her.

You gave Mettaton a questioning look and he just shrugged glamorously.

“She’s probably getting ready for a date with Undyne.” He said, gesturing to the door. “I’ve got some friends who are going to meet us at my old house. Let’s go, darling.”

“Where’s your house?”

“It’s in Waterfall. Come on, don’t be shy, we’ve got a lot of work to do tonight!”

You didn’t like the sound of that, but you followed anyway. The River Person took Mettaton first, and you met him there, forcing yourself to ignore anything you heard along the way.

“Sweetheart, you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Mettaton giggled, but you couldn’t figure out why it was funny. “Come along!” You followed closely, and found two houses that mirrored each other. Mettaton led you into the house on the right, and you were greeted by a sea of pink. There were two monsters sitting there, drinking what looked like tea. One creature looked like a spider wearing Lolita. The other was a stout, cat-like creature. Mettaton gestured to them in turn, “Muffet and Catty. They are going to help you get some clothes, okay?”

Muffet pulled out tape measure and measured you with two of her arms while she used two more arms to hold a swatch of fabric against your skin, tsking. Catty stood back and watched for a moment. “Like, I think purple would look good.”

“Meh.” Muffet said, taking another measurement and switching the swatch for another one that Catty offered. “I like the green.”

Mettaton made a noise. “The green isn’t sexy enough, dearie.”

Muffet gave Mettaton a look of contempt and switched it out for a different shade of green.

Mettaton made an appreciative, if forced, noise. “That looks fair.”

“Try red next.” Catty urged, trading another swatch.

Eventually they asked you what you thought, and even what you liked, and the experience turned out to be quite pleasant. It was getting late when your phone rang.

“HUMAN, YOU SAID WE WOULD BE GOING SHOPPING TODAY, ARE YOU STILL AVAILABLE?”

You looked at the others pleadingly. They smiled and nodded to you. Mettaton called out to Papyrus to say hi, and then allowed you some privacy to talk.

“WOWIE! YOU SEEM TO BE MAKING FRIENDS ALL OVER!”

“I’m ready when you are.” You said. “I even have money to get things for myself.” You said happily.

“WELL, THEN I’LL MEET YOU AT THE DOCKS NORTH OF SNOWDIN.” He promised.

“Okay, I’ll be there in a minute.” Before you could rush off, Catty handed you a bag.

“This is some junk that wasn’t really selling. Like… Mettaton told us you didn’t have any clothes, so here. Until Muffet gets done with those.”

You stared at her dumbly and took the bag. “Thank you so much. How much do I owe you?”

“Like, they won’t sell. Just take them.” She winked at you, and you smiled. You leaned in and gave her a hug.

Mettaton let you change clothes in his house, and you sighed in relief, putting the dirty robe and socks in the bag. You thanked all three of them again before rushing out toward the River Person yet again. You tried to ignore whatever words they sang, but the words dug at you. “The reports in white ink…” You tuned in despite yourself. “History repeats itself.”

You didn’t even try to be polite as you scrambled off the little boat and headed south toward Snowdin’s center. Papyrus came forward to greet you, seeming surprised by your change of attire. “HUMAN!” He greeted. “I WAS JUST ON MY WAY TO MEET YOU! YOU LOOK DIFFERENT—I FEEL SLIGHTLY UNDERDRESSED.”

You laughed and tried to tell him otherwise. “Your costume is adorable, Paps, don’t worry.”

“BUT YOU’RE DRESSED UP SPECIAL! I NEED TO GO CHANGE, AS THE GREAT PAPYRUS CAN NOT BE OUTDONE!”

You stared after him as he laughed and sprinted away toward his house. It was still pretty cold, and you decided that to avoid getting sick, you should probably go somewhere. You noticed the library, and pulled out your phone as you walked in that direction. You sent Papyrus a text saying that you were stopping in at the library whenever he was ready to go.

You were greeted with the smell of old books, and you deeply breathed in. You were relieved that there was one definitive similarity between humans and monsters: books. You looked around, noting that it was a building of only one room, seemingly, and there weren’t very many books in comparison to the libraries you’d seen on the surface. You supposed that made sense; Snowdin seemed like a small town. You noticed at that point, looking around again, that there was no one else in here. A sign on the counter to your left notified you that the bookkeeper would be back after a nice cream break. You felt like you could stay in here for hours, but your day’s events reminded you that you’d had another reason for coming in here.

You had no sooner walked to the first bookshelf than Papyrus barged into the library. You smiled and turned around, and dropped your bag of clothes when you saw him. Had he not let out a screeching “Nyeh-heh-heh-heh!” when he came in, you might not have believed it was him. You stared at him, as if that would make his sudden attainment of physique make sense. He wore dark slacks and shoes and an orange long-sleeved sweater that showed his clavicle through the neck. He was definitely not wearing anything to give the semblance of arms and overall body, you realized. Also, he was wearing glasses.

Fascinated, you cocked your head at him. You were at a loss for words.

“HUMAN, ARE YOU OKAY? DO I LOOK BAD? THIS ISN’T WHAT I USUALLY WEAR, BUT THE WAY YOU’RE STARING AT ME IS MAKING ME UNCOMFORTABLE. DOES IT OFFEND?”

“Oh, no! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to stare.” You looked away and realized you’d dropped your bag. “I… just didn’t… Wasn’t expecting you to dress up.” You picked it up and then looked at him hesitantly.

Papyrus stood proudly, and put his hands on his hips. “THEN LET US GO AND GET GROCERIES! I INSIST THAT YOU STAY FOR DINNER TONIGHT, AS I WILL BE MAKING MY FINEST BATCH OF SPAGHETTI EVER.”

You giggled and followed him out of the library. He led you to a tiny store and opened the door for you. You stepped inside, not exactly sure how to feel about this. It was like he was flirting with you, but you weren’t sure if that were exactly the case. Papyrus seemed to be mostly oblivious to a good deal of social stimuli, and you had trouble imagining him flirting with anyone. Regardless, he looked completely different in regular clothes.

You just felt like you had to ask. “So, you wear glasses?”

“ONLY WHEN I AM GOING TO BE READING SMALL THINGS. USUALLY I HAVE SANS TO HELP ME WITH THAT, BUT HE SAID HE WAS BUSY TODAY. I TRY NOT TO WEAR THEM AROUND HIM, AS IT MAKES HIM UPSET.”

“That doesn’t really make sense… Why would that make him upset?”

Papyrus didn’t seem worried about that. “HE SAID HE WOULD BE TOO BUSY TONIGHT TO GO SHOPPING WITH ME, SO I AM ACTUALLY VERY GLAD FOR THE COMPANY, HUMAN.”

“Hey, it’s no problem, Paps.” Papyrus grabbed a basket and began strolling casually through the store. You took one too and followed hesitantly, looking around. You remembered the state of your home and groaned to yourself.

“WHAT IS WRONG, HUMAN? DO YOU NEED GLASSES, TOO?”

You laughed before responding. “No, no… I just remembered that I have to clean house and I don’t have anything to clean with.”

Papyrus’s eyes shined behind the spectacles. His voice was softer, as if he were in awe. “Someone understands!” You felt a strange expression on your very warm face, and then he grabbed your hand and tugged you to a different part of the store. He gestured wildly at an entire kiosk of MTT brand products. “METTATON MAKES THIS AMAZING LINE OF CLEANING PRODUCTS!” He enthused, smiling down at you excitedly.

You looked the stuff over and nodded to him. “Which ones should I get to start out?”

He began grabbing seemingly random things and throwing them into his basket. “THEY’RE ALL GOOD, BUT THESE ARE MY FAVORITES! THEY ARE ESPECIALLY HELPFUL IN CLEANING UP SANS’S MESSES.” The way he squinted as he said that last, you felt yourself understanding his concerns. Sans definitely seemed the type to let others do all the work.

You remembered Sans’s treatment of your soul and the notes afterward… And his warning…

As you and Papyrus walked through the store, grabbing more and more stuff, and laughing about little things, you found yourself wondering if life could be like this. You found yourself wondering if everything could be alright. Even in spite of Sans's warning, you felt more comfortable and welcomed in the Underground than you had ever felt topside.

Arms laden with grocery bags, you and Papyrus walk back to his house. Undyne opened the door for you both and sat down miserably on the couch again, still feeling sick. Papyrus offered you space in the fridge for your perishable groceries, and you stuck around for dinner despite feeling like you should head home. You didn’t particularly know if you could handle more of Sans’s presence today. You felt like he didn’t like you, or like he was hiding something.

Like the reports written in white ink? You mused, but reminded yourself that you were being ridiculous.

“HUMAN, YOU LOOK UPSET. DO YOU NOT LIKE SPAHGETTI?”

You smiled wearily at the tall, dashing skeleton. He had taken his glasses off and hooked them onto the neck of his sweater. “I’m fine, and I love spaghetti… do you… mind if I ask you something, though?”

He looked flustered but agreed to be questioned. “The River Person said some odd things. Is it just… random? Are they just trying to mess with me?”

Papyrus looked troubled by your concern. “UNDYNE, MAYBE YOU COULD HELP?” He shook his head, “I USUALLY AVOID THEM BECAUSE THEY TOLD ME SOMETHING BOTHERSOME ONCE, TOO.”

Undyne stumbled into the kitchen and sat down at the table. You sat down, too, as Papyrus began preparing the food with a gentle care that surprised you.

Undyne smiled at you, and you told her about the River Person’s first fortune telling incident from that morning. Her smile faded and she looked lost in thought. “I always hated how cryptic they are…” She said. “According to everyone else, they are aware of things that we aren’t, and people swear that their predictions always come true. I would just rather run from place to place, honestly!” You couldn’t tell if it was the stomach pain or the subject matter that made her look down. “Alphys told me that they told her some very relevant things once, and I trust her… So… It can’t hurt to take it into consideration, but don’t let it get you down!”

You nodded but didn’t feel any better. Should you ask Alphys to see the reports? You knew that she hadn’t written today’s in white ink, because you had seen the pen and the scribbles from a distance, so you weren’t exactly sure what purpose that would serve. Maybe it was a metaphor?

Undyne excused herself back to the couch, saying that she couldn’t bear the thought of any more food right then. Papyrus didn’t seem offended.

“So, Paps, do you need any help?” You asked, trying to get your mind from the questions jumping around in your head.

He shook his head. “I AM TAKING MY TIME AND DOING THIS CAREFULLY. UNDYNE TAUGHT ME THAT PASSION IS THE MOST IMPORTANT INGREDIENT, BUT SANS TOLD ME IF I SET ANOTHER FIRE, HE’D REMOVE THE STOVE.”

You laughed. “I thought the idea was to avoid fires, anyway?”

He gave you a curious look. “HUMAN, HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU’RE COOKING WITHOUT FIRE?”

Surely he couldn’t be serious.

He was, you realized. Undyne had drifted back into the kitchen out of curiosity. Her sour stomach kept her from getting loud, but you were worried that she would be upset you had disagreed with her cooking prowess.

You begin to explain all that you know about cooking. Your kitchen knowledge was average at best, but you’d never started a fire, save for the time you’d forgotten a pizza in the oven when you were in college.

Their look of disbelieving wonderment as you explained your experiences filled you with DETERMINATION.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really didn't mean for the chapter to go the way it did. It turned out twice as long as I'd intended-- but i have no regrets!
> 
> But next chapter is going to be hard. And verrry informative. Stay tuned, lovelies, and we'll find out what's up with Sans!


	4. White Ink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans seems troubled, doesn't he? Let's just peek into his perspective for a while.
> 
> Also featuring: Gaster, tragic death/murder, Papyrus talking quietly for once, a pun war, and the reason Undyne wears an eyepatch.
> 
> Hop on board, bring your feels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited: 4/16/16  
> Minor things.  
> Edited: 6/9/16  
> With the Prequel (Someone I Can Trust) in the works, I needed to do some tweaking. Forgive me!

Sans stood at the table in his lab, hands splayed on either side of a file he was reluctant to open. He sighed and rubbed the back of his head. He looked at the shrouded, smashed machine behind him and grimaced. He grabbed a chair and sat at the work table. His hand hovered over the file for another moment, and he opened it with resolve. The pages were blank, pristine, and absolutely innocuous.

Until he activated his eye. Hands and symbols greeted him and he read through the reports without much trouble, although the downside was that he could hear the writer’s voice in his head. That was a voice he still dreaded hearing. It had kept him from reading past the first couple entries—that, and the fact that reading exhausted him.

He took a breath and began listening to Gaster’s familiar, soothing voice. It sounded different than he remembered. Calmer. Steadier.

 

* * *

  
_Entry Number 01_

_Another one fell, and it survived. I asked Asgore to hold off on killing it yet, so that I could do some much needed research. The other souls can’t be replicated, but perhaps that is because their shells are lifeless. This one… still bleeds. I forgot how messy the damn things were.  
_

_It’s quite fascinating the level of intellect it has, despite being made for violence. I suspect it is only a child, but it is quite larger than the other ones that have fallen before._

_I have to gather my thoughts, as this experiment could be pivotal to our breaking the barrier. I want to take all variables into account… I need the subject to cooperate as much as possible. I suppose it helps that it seems intelligible enough for rational conversation._

 

* * *

 

  
Sans flipped to the next page, wondering why this file was so heavily guarded. The effort he’d had to go through to retrieve it had been excruciating. The entire time, Sans had been terrified he’d end up just like him. But he’d made a promise, and out of respect of Gaster, Sans had done his best to keep this terrible secret hidden. Sans shook off the weariness from the use of his eye—it consumed a lot of his energy, and he didn’t want to fall asleep on the file yet again.

The page beckoned him, and he continued, vowing to read it all the way through, no matter what.

 

* * *

  
_Entry Number 02_

_Apparently humanity has vastly advanced their knowledge in the past couple of centuries. The more I talk with the human, the more fascinated I become. I took a staggering amount of notes on human customs, human bodies and their makeup, but I am deciding to keep it separate from this record. Findings on human nature are suitable to show for my work, but I’m not sure Asgore, or anyone in the Underground, for that matter, would have the stomach for what I intend to do. That is why these notes are necessary._

_As skeletons reproduce asexually, I was wondering if I could find a way to make a human do the same, since they are only skeletons covered and intertwined with foul-smelling meat. The subject tells me more and more about how humans are made. It sounds disgusting, even by human standards. If I could make this human reproduce asexually, not only would it be much cleaner and less sickening, but we would potentially be able to break the barrier in the next few years._

_I suppose if I can’t make them reproduce asexually, I will have to find another way._

  
_Entry Number 03_

_The human doesn’t like the idea of asexual reproduction. He said it will hurt him. Also, apparently human men cannot typically carry children—at least, he can’t. This is a conundrum, perhaps._

_He said it would hurt him, not kill him. I will just need to be wary of what I take, and make sure it’s not vital to his survival._

_He tried to tell me his name, but it’s not necessary. I… feel that it’s not wise to get too close to the human. Not just because he’s dangerous, but because I don’t want to think of him as anything but a means to an end. His soul is vital to our escape. He will one day die, perhaps by my own hands. That is an eventuality I am prepared for._

_Maybe it would have been better if he hadn’t been intelligent._

_Leaving the Underground is more important than one human’s lifespan. Whether he dies after 18 years or 80, it doesn’t matter; humans live so very short lives anyway. I’m sure he’d understand._

  
_Entry Number 04_

_Asexual reproduction was a failure. Humans can’t do that, just as he said. I saved the piece I’d taken, but it won’t assimilate back to him, no matter how much monster food and recuperation time I give him. I realize now that humans cannot regenerate pieces of their body. How can a species so powerful be so weak? How did we lose the war? I don't understand how Ghayth had trouble finishing them off, honestly.  
_

_The subject leans away from me now, and is trying to starve himself. I’m becoming worried. I should have listened to him. I can’t let him die yet, there is still so much we need to learn._

_Even though the piece of him, a phalange, won’t grow in the chamber, I can’t just let it rot. I put it where it will remain safe and uncontaminated until I have use for it. Waste not._

  
_Entry Number 05_

_Despite my intentions to not get attached, I have found myself referring to him as Subject Blue. He… dislikes the name, and it has made him react to me again at last._

_I have come to terms with the fact that I must move on to the next experiment. If I can’t get him to reproduce asexually, I suppose I’ll have to study his soul directly, and see if he can bond like monsters can. I am unsure if a half-human half-monster child is possible, or whether it will be enough humanity to trick the barrier… but it is worth a try, even if I don’t feel the necessary emotions to bond strongly with the human._

_Those feelings would only complicate the experiment in any case, and it could jeopardize everything. Everything._

_Since this is a private record for my eyes only, I feel the need to put these things down… Unprofessional, sickening things, so that they will leave my head. The thoughts on these papers are invisible, intangible. No one but me can prove they are real… I am the one who chooses if it’s real._

_I'm terrified that I'll lose sight of what my goal is. As the days continue, I find myself enjoying this human's company to an extreme I detest._

_I must admit that I’m worried what bonding will do to either of us. If Asgore finds out about this… I mustn’t let him find out about this. I will continue to give him reports on human physiology. If I run thin on that, I’ll ask for reports on other human frivolities. I must run this experiment slowly, or else I could lose myself, or, more importantly, the focus of my research._

  
_Entry Number 06_

_Today was a step in the right direction. He doesn’t resent being called Blue anymore, after a few hours of talking while our souls were exposed. No touching, no contact, just…_

_It wasn’t what I expected._

_I don’t know how to put it into words, really. That irritates me._

_When I put his soul back, he asked me what my intentions were. He said he knew he was going to die here… He wanted to know why he was still alive._

_I’m not sure if I should answer him. He might struggle against the goal to prolong his life, or he might just give in so it will all be over sooner._

_Either possibility frustrates me._

  
_Entry Number 07_

_Again, we spent the day talking about human customs with our souls exposed. He eventually changed the subject to monster customs. I really enjoy his curiosity… I can’t discourage him from asking questions._

_He asked about the War, as well. It was something I hadn’t really considered. There are a good deal of monsters in the Underground who had lived through the War, myself and Asgore included. I hadn’t thought that humans, who live such short lifespans, would eventually reach an age or generation where the War hadn’t effected them. That age had come much sooner for them…_

_I can’t blame him for that. I can’t blame him for asking._

_I can’t blame him… so why did I get so angry? Why did I act so… coldly? I could tell by looking at him that he was hurt by my words, but I couldn’t stop._

_And… he didn’t resent me. He just looked at me unblinkingly, waiting for my anger to subside._

_I don’t know what came over me. I never lose control of my temper like this… especially during an experiment. But is this really an experiment anymore? I’m beginning to think I’ve lost control of this project._

_But I have to continue anyway. For the Underground._

_I’m sorry, Blue._

  
_Entry Number 08_

_God, I can’t do this. Last night, I dreamt about the war. I couldn’t look into his eyes for the shame of the memories. The atrocities of war staining my hands…_

_He knew I was upset, but he asked me a question I had no idea how to answer. He asked if I had any skeletons in my closet, with that infuriating smile…_

_I had laughed._

_I can’t do this…_

  
_Entry Number 09_

_Blue and I have moved on to the next step. I… told him the truth about the experiments, and told him what our goal was. I hoped he would become angry, push me away, refuse to cooperate. I wanted him to hate me for what I was doing. I hate me._

_He is always so… true to himself. He never changes._

_He moved his soul closer to me, as if to comfort me. I replied in kind. He seemed fascinated, seeing a monster soul up close._

_I should have warned him not to touch it, but I was curious as well. What would happen if a human touched my soul? Would it be the same response as if a monster did, or would it be painful?_

_I waited breathlessly, but he never touched it._

_I told him I was going to touch his soul, and that I was unsure how it would affect him. He nodded, not understanding that I was giving him an opportunity to refuse._

_I discovered that human souls work differently than monster souls. They are much sturdier, much more solid. However, I think that if I were to puncture it, it would kill him._

_I must be very careful with him._

_Other than that, he reacted much the way I expected. It was different seeing it myself, though... His soul glowed so much brighter against my fingers. He found it difficult to breathe, and after a few minutes of my contact with his soul, he had collapsed. I checked to make sure he was breathing, even though I knew he was because his soul was still so vibrant. I decided not to push him any further tonight. I need to procure some monster candies, in case I accidentally hurt him one day._

_I don’t know how much longer I can stall Asgore._

_It's funny. We shared such a strong friendship once. But now my loyalty is tainted by fear._

  
_Entry Number 10_

_Asgore is beginning to suspect, I’m sure of it. I need to prepare for the possibility, and have a plan for hiding Blue. He can’t take him yet. I won’t let him._

_Humans have heartbeats. It… sounds repulsive, but it’s what keeps him alive. I listened to it all night._

_I’ve made such a huge mistake._

  
_Entry Number 11_

_I can’t stall any longer. Asgore knows I have nothing more to show him—he doesn’t know about these records… and it will stay that way. No one can know my shame._

_He’s going to make me watch him die. Blue doesn’t want to die alone. But he’s resigned. He’s given up. He knew this would happen and so did I…_

 

  
_12_

 

_Entry Number 13_

_We had bonded the night before the execution. I pleaded with Asgore. I told him human lives are short, and when Blue eventually died, his soul would still be there. Asgore said… he was doing this for me. He said he needed me to be strong. He said I would thank him when we all get to the surface…_

_I hate him._

_I would have been able to believe him before. But I can feel Blue. I feel… hollow. Carved._

_I wouldn’t be exaggerating to say that a part of me died with Blue._

  
_Entry Number 14_

_I have a marking that I didn’t notice. A crack… on my head. It doesn’t hurt, curiously… it… looks like…_

_I can’t. I can’t._

  
_Entry Number 15_

_I remembered the phalange. Maybe… If I do this right…_

_It’s too quiet here. I miss our talks._

_Please let this work._

  
_Entry Number 16_

_I started the experiment. When my bone was introduced to the chamber, everything began to cloud up, making the chamber go dark. I can’t see in. I am not sure if this means it is working… so I decided if it doesn’t clear up soon, I will make another and put it in a different chamber, without a piece of Blue._

_I think the emptiness of the lab is getting to me. I released_ _my old friends. Blue called them Gaster Blasters. I didn't have the heart to tell him they were the only remainder of a fallen race..._

_I've taken to talking to them, though they can't talk back and I'm only hypothesizing that they retained their sentience in this form._

_It helps greatly to read my notes aloud to them. They seem comforted by my voice, somehow._

 

_The second chamber isn’t clouded. How curious...  
_

 

 

_Entry Number 18_

_It’s strange how different they are. The first one… looks a lot like Blue, but as a skeleton. The second one is just… a clone of me. A carbon copy, without the gashes in his head. I don’t know if I can handle this. I shouldn’t have done this. Blue wouldn’t have wanted this. To live on, like this._

_I never listened to his real name. I said it didn’t matter._

_I’m sorry, Blue._

_I can fix this, can’t I?_

  
_Entry Number 19_

_I can’t do this alone. I can’t risk doing this alone… If I fail, they will be stuck in those tubes forever. I… owe them that much, to…_

_That’s what I tried to tell myself. I only released the one we made. Our… child._

_I will have to hide these notes soon. I don’t want to take any chances. He will learn about his true heritage when I bring Blue back._

_It worked for my "Blasters" so surely it should work for Blue. I don't care how many centuries it takes, I will revive him._

  
_Entry Number 20_

_He sounds like Blue. He’s curious like Blue. He’s so helpful. I even named him after Blue, in a way. He'd be proud. It was the first joke I didn't absolutely butcher. I named him Sans, after the font, of course... but also that he's just like Blue, sans the flesh.  
_

_Blue would love him…_

_I can't remember crying before this, even when Faustus died._

 

* * *

 

  
Sans stared at the last page, flipping it over and then scratching his head.

“christ, he went crazy, didn’t he?” he mused softly to himself, letting his eye magic flicker back out. “that must have been where...” He yawned and set the folder down. He mused to himself that he couldn’t remember much from then. The memories came and went.

It clicked into place after a moment. “i’m half human.” He looked at his hands. “heh, i think he wrote this crap as a joke.”

But it made sense to him, a bit. He grew so much slower than Papyrus and other monsters, even though they were roughly the same age. He had only just recently quit growing. He had different capabilities. And… it explained why only one of them looked like their progenitor. Could he cross the barrier? Probably not without dying.

He thought back to the times he’d died in those dreams that were not dreams—it was easier to think of them that way—and tried to recall if he’d turned to dust or not. He remembered his blood, and how it had tasted. He had been the only one who’d had those dreams, who remembered those things. He knew… and now he understood why, partially.

His head spun from everything rushing around. He steadied his breathing and listened, hearing nothing, which frightened him. Usually, Paps and Undyne would be yelling loud enough for him to hear them in here. He couldn’t hear anything at all.

He felt sick from the tension, and got up, rushing out of the lab and into the house. He could only think of holding Papyrus’s dust-covered cape with trembling hands. There were no resets anymore, he realized for the first time in a while. Rather than bring peace, he felt his whole body burn with painful tension.

 

* * *

 

  
The front door slammed, and the conversation stopped. Undyne and Papyrus peered around the doorway into the living room, and you got up and walked around the table to see, too.

Sans stared at all three of you for a few long, silent seconds, an indiscernible look on his face. Then, suddenly, he smiled brightly. “what’s **slammin** ’, bro?”

No one laughed. It was obvious something had been wrong. Papyrus approached Sans cautiously.

Sans’s eyes darted to the glasses still pinned to Papyrus’s shirt and his smile fell before he pasted it back with such false cheer you began to worry. “BROTHER? WHAT’S WRONG?”

“aw, nothing paps. i… uh just didn’t wanna miss dinner.” Papyrus didn’t look convinced. Sans stared up at Papyrus, visibly shaking. He reached out and hugged his brother, smashing his head into Papyrus’s sternum with a noise that sounded painful. “i’m so hungry, i’m shaking.” He laughed insincerely.

Undyne and you exchanged worried glances as Papyrus picked Sans up effortlessly, brought him to the couch and laid him down. You couldn’t hear the words from the kitchen, but Papyrus was speaking softly, calmly, to his brother. He covered Sans up and turned back to the kitchen, before Sans grabbed at his sleeve. His hand was still visibly shaking.

Papyrus sat down in front of the couch, still not speaking above a low murmur.

You decided to check on the food, since it looked like Papyrus would be there for a moment. It wasn’t as long as you’d thought it would be before you heard the sound of Sans lightly dozing. You turned around in time to see Papyrus soundlessly walking into the kitchen. He gave you and Undyne a weary smile. “Thank you, human.” He said, still quiet. “I must ask you both to be relatively quiet. We shall eat in the living room and watch Mettaton together.” He said, his eyes staring into the pot of sauce. He looked like he could cry.

Undyne came forward and gave Papyrus a one-armed hug. “At least he doesn’t wake up screaming all the time anymore, huh?”

Papyrus turned off the burner with a harsh click. “I would almost prefer that. When he panics now, it lasts days. It’s like he’s waiting for something.”

You glance into the living room. His eyes are closed, but his brow is furrowed. His breathing was steady, but his hands were still shaking.

You looked back to Undyne and Papyrus. He was serving the spaghetti onto plates, his face still so somber. He looked like a completely different skeleton. He caught you staring at him. “I will be fine, human. I am just worried about my brother.”

You nodded. That much was obvious. You just weren’t sure what had caused Sans to be like this. Had something happened at Alphys’s lab? Papyrus handed you a plate and motioned to the living room. Undyne followed you with her own plate. The two of you hovered awkwardly near the sofa, when Papyrus came in with two plates and cleared his throat. He fixed his happy exuberance back onto his face. “BROTHER, YOU SAID YOU WERE HUNGRY! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE FIXED YOU AN AMAZING MEAL!”

Sans’s eyes opened and he looked around lazily, that fake smile still plastered to his face. He reached out for the plate and looked at it. “i can’t see **pasta** you but I didn’t notice the kitchen exploding.”

“THE HUMAN GAVE ME SOME VERY USEFUL TIPS ON KITCHEN SAFETY!” He said, ignoring the pun. He must not have had the heart to discourage his humor. Sans sat up, and Papyrus sat next to him. Undyne sat on the floor between the brothers, and Papyrus patted the sofa next to him. You smiled and sat down, still reluctant to talk.

Papyrus turned on a musical. Every part was played by Mettaton. You couldn’t keep up with the story, but at least his voice was nice. You hid your smile behind your hand the whole time. Finally, you couldn’t help but crack up when Mettaton flew by the screen wearing a mustache for no apparent reason.

“you okay there, bud?” Sans asked.

You thought fast. “Just reminds me of when I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a **play on words**.”

The room was silent and then Papyrus covered his face in what you could assume was betrayal.

Sans’s eyes bore into you, and your smile faded.

“you know, I heard mettaton is addicted to brake fluid. He says he can **stop** anytime.”

The tension drained immediately and you laughed. Papyrus didn’t even respond. He calmly ate his spaghetti, realizing he was stuck between two people who were about to start hurling puns at each other. His regret was palpable.

“I tried to catch some fog. But I **mist**.” You shot back at Sans.

“when chemists die, they **barium**.”

“How do you make holy water? You boil the **hell** out of it!”

“i’m reading a book on anti-gravity. i can’t **put it down**.”

“What does a clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back **four seconds**.”

“i'd tell you a joke about a broken pencil, but it's **pointless**.”

Papyrus stood up and went to the kitchen. Sans looked at him and then gave you a playful glare.

“You win this one, Sans.” You said, relieved that he was feeling better—at least that’s how it seemed.

Undyne snorted. “I ship it.” She muttered and turned back to the screen, staring at it with disinterest.

You felt your face burn and turned away from Sans, who shrugged and got up to go after Papyrus.

“You don’t mean that. He hates my guts.” You told Undyne quietly once Sans was out of earshot.

She laughed. “If he hated you, you’d know it.”

“I can’t possibly imagine how much more rude he could get if he hated me, then.” You muttered.

She gave you an amused glance. “What did he say?”

You quickly gave her the details on how he’d essentially threatened your life and she laughed even harder. “He’s just being a brother, ok?” She responded at last. “Look at them in there. They’re each other’s whole world.” You looked where she gestured. Papyrus was hugging Sans and talking loudly. Sans was chuckling softly and patting his taller brother’s back awkwardly, waiting to be relinquished. “He’s probably just concerned you’ll teach him something bad. The first time I said ass in front of Papyrus, Sans threatened to grill me.” She brayed laughter. “So don’t take it personally. He’s just… a dork.” She sneered. “A lazy, lump of a dork. Not even the cool type, either, like Alphys.” She said proudly.

You felt a little better, but something still nagged at you.

“You said that he would scream all the time?”

“Weird, huh? Wouldn’t think he could.” She said. “When I first started crashing here, it scared the hell out of me. I barged up there with my spears drawn, but he was… just…” She shrugged. “Papyrus calmed him down, and he was better until the next time… But after Frisk left, he didn’t have as many of those dreams. Instead, he would… just randomly break down. He’d suddenly disappear on us, and when we’d find him he’d just glare and shake. He’s even more protective of Papyrus now than he had been.”

She looked worried. “I don’t know what’s wrong with him, but I kind of don’t want to know, you know?” Her eye searched your face for any sign of understanding. “I want to help… but at the same time… I’m afraid it’s something I can’t fix.” She looked back into the kitchen, saw them coming back to the living room. “So I’m gonna ask Alphys on a date day after tomorrow, so you’ll have a day off.” She sounded much more cheerful now, and her iron gaze told you to follow the change in subject. You were smart enough to take the hint.

“What are you guys going to do?” You asked innocently, still feeling confused.

“Probably dig through the garbage dump for more anime.”

You felt intrigued but didn’t want to ask to come with. You thought of all the things you could possibly find there. “Well, if you come across something you don’t know what it is or how to use, ask me. I might know.” You offered finally.

She nodded, looking lost in thought as she moved to let the skeleton brothers sit back down on the couch before taking her place on the floor.

Eventually, you bid farewell to everyone, and Undyne walked you home this time. She talked about how they had a collection of anime, but you didn’t recognize half of the names. She said them so quickly and smoothly that you chuckled.

“Did you learn Japanese just by watching too much anime?”

“Of course not! I just learned how to pronounce it. However, in certain situations, I am quite fluent!”

“Like… what?”

She grinned. “Sex.” And then guffawed at your reaction. “And battle, but no one would know what I’m saying. So… I just use it on Alphys to watch her get bothered.”

You didn’t know how to respond. It explained why you didn’t recognize the names of those anime; you felt you could safely assume a good portion of them were hentai. The two of you walked in relative silence for a little while.

She just couldn’t leave it alone, though. “So, what do you think of them?”

You shrugged, hoping she’d drop it. You really didn’t need her aggressively shipping you with either or both of them.

“Come onnnn I’m not gonna leave you alone until you tell me _something_!”

You blushed. “What do you want me to say? I’ve only known them for two days.”

“You should have seen his face when he came in to dress up for you.”

“You think Papyrus likes me?”

“He asked me if he looked handsome before he sprinted out, and then had to come back for his glasses.” She laughed. “I’ve never seen him get that excited about anyone before.”

You looked at her. “I don’t understand why.”

She shrugged. “Me either. You want my honest opinion, I still think humans are gross.” She said.

“Gee, thanks.” You replied sarcastically. You could kind of understand. You weren’t the same species, and she had been trained to kill your kind. Even if she was no longer a human-killing fanatic, you understood that mindsets took a lot of effort to change, especially when you keep them for a long time.

“Honesty is the best policy.” She said. “I don’t give enough of a shit to lie!” The two of you laughed for a while, but when silence fell, she picked the subject up again, to your chagrin. “What about Sans? What do you think of him?”

“I don’t know what to think of him. I’m still not entirely convinced that he doesn’t want to kill me.”

She didn’t laugh, and that troubled you. “I’ve known them for a while. So trust me on this one, okay? If he wanted to kill you, he would have already. He might be lazy, but I know he can fuck shit up. If he were more motivated, I bet he could have been in the Royal Guard, back in its heyday.”

“So you’re saying he’s too lazy to kill me?”

“No. I’m saying he believes you’re worth taking a chance over. If you wanted to, you could kill a lot of us with minimum effort. That’s why we lost the war.”

“Were you in the war, Undyne? Is that how you lost your eye?”

She shook her head. “I wasn’t even born yet, punk! How old do you think I am?!” You were afraid you’d offended her, but realized she was joking when she began laughing. “I wear the eyepatch to avoid being snow-blinded. If I went to Waterfall from Snowdin without the eyepatch, I’d have to wait for my vision to adjust. It’s kind of a habit… It was something I did back then, so that I’d never be at a disadvantage. I’d always be able to see where I was going, see if something was there that wasn’t supposed to be.”

The ruins loomed ahead, and you realized you’d left your groceries and cleaning products at the skelebros’ house. You cursed under your breath, and Undyne chuckled when you explained what was wrong. She offered to go back and get everything for you but you just said that you’d have a reason to visit after work tomorrow. She agreed and bid you goodnight at the door, hurrying off toward the warm couch she had left.

You got inside, and began to take off the jacket that Catty had given you when you noticed your bags on the ground next to the top of the stairs. A sticky note was stuck to one of the bags.

_consider this thanks for making my brother happy. i can’t dislike someone with good taste in jokes._

The fact that Undyne might have been right filled you with DETERMINATION.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys, if you're interested in (basically) a recount of the White Ink Reports from Blue's perspective, it has been done! Hop on down to the supplementary fic to this one, linked below!
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/6545836


	5. Mom's Spaghetti

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, disregarding the title, this is going to have some heavy stuff in it. TW FOR RAPE MENTIONS AND PHYSICAL AND MENTAL ABUSE! TW FOR REFERENCE TO FORCED PREGNANCY! 
> 
> With that out of the way, sciencing does not go well today. You cook for Papyrus, and Mettaton brings you your clothes. Also, the shipping game continues!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited: 4/16/16

_His hands tightened around your throat as he pushed you against the wall. “Don’t you **ever** embarrass me again!” He growled. No one would believe you if you could manage to tell them he was capable of this. No, not him… He leaned in close and you could smell meatloaf on his breath. He let go of your neck in favor of your hands. “Look, it’s no big deal, okay? All you have to do is try harder for me. So quit crying. Let’s go back home. We still have condoms, right?” The tears continued to fall, and he snarled. “Quit crying, you goddamned maggot! Now get your ass in the car **now**!”_

You woke up with tears still running down your face. You couldn’t breathe. You felt your neck, and rushed to the bathroom to look in the mirror. You stared into the mirror and focused on your sensory. “It’s not real, not anymore. He doesn’t know where I am. He’ll never find me.” You made the promises, knowing that they could be broken and, like everything you’d ever experienced with him, it wouldn’t have been your choice.

You glared into your own eyes, and forced yourself to quit crying. You looked at your phone. 4 am.

“Fuck.” You whispered, making your breathing steady itself as you listened to the nigh deafening silence in the house. It smelled like dust. You winced and hoped that it was only from inactivity. Surely the others would have told you if someone had ever been murdered here, right? Yes, you decided. Toriel would have told you because it would have been another reason for you to stay with her.

You looked at your phone again, tempted to call her—but what would you say? Honestly, even though she had told you to call anytime, you felt like it was a bit much to call her at four in the morning just so you could hear someone speak calm, soothing words to you. Toriel knew, you reminded yourself. She knew about the bruises, about the scars. You felt the weight of your self-loathing as you stared into your reflection again. The true scarring was behind those darkened eyes. The true scarring wasn’t seen, wasn’t heard.

The tears welled up again, but you squashed the emotion just as you had for the past three years. You knew it wasn’t weak to cry, but you were numb to it. It didn’t help anymore. Nothing helped—no… you got in the shower and scrubbed yourself, as if to scrape off the memory of your abuser’s hands. While you did, you sang a song that embodied how you felt about him. Mournful, low, full of self-blame… but that song faded into another, full of anger, full of outright disdain. You spat out the words, belting the chorus in a way that liberated the empty feeling in your chest.

Singing had always been your outlet. It had been your escape. He had always told you it was good, but you weren’t good enough to get anywhere with it. He had poisoned your outlet, and so you only sang when he wasn’t around. That empty, aching feeling in your chest pulsated with each heartfelt lyric, and you returned to your classic mental image of digging open a never-healing wound in your chest, letting the infection dribble out until only blood remained. Again, the song faded out, and you stood under the water, thinking of another song that would make you feel anything at all. That’s what it was, you admitted to yourself. You were desperate to feel anything, even the pain of purging yourself of bad thoughts. Angry words were swapped with abstract lyrics from your childhood, something that brought back memories of booster seats in the car, and blaring metal much too loud for such young ears.

You got out of the shower, singing still, and walked back to your room to dress. Luckily, Catty had given you enough outfits to last until Muffet would have your clothes ready. That is, if she finished your clothes in the next day or so. You struggled to keep singing as you dressed and thought. The song bled into another one effortlessly, reminding you of jobs you once had. Every song was a memory of the time you learned it. Every song was a piece of you.

You quit singing abruptly, the ache returning along with a fleeting moment of panic—the door had slammed, and Papyrus jogged up the stairs. You relaxed and left your room to greet him.

“AH, HUMAN! IT’S GOOD TO SEE YOU’RE UP AT THIS HOUR. NO ONE ELSE RISES EARLY, SO I GET LONELY.” He looked away shyly, and you remembered talking to Undyne the night before. You felt your face heat. You checked your phone to see it was only half-past five. He was early. “I PRESUMED YOU’D BE UP BY NOW, SO I DECIDED TO COME BY EARLY TO SEE IF YOU NEEDED ANY HELP… OR COMPANY.” He gave you a very serious look. “THE GREAT PAPYRUS ALWAYS TAKES CARE OF HIS FRIENDS!” Under his breath, he added, “I have few enough that it’s not entirely exhausting to do so.”

You smiled up at him, “Thank you. I actually am glad to have some company. I was thinking of cleaning. Would you like to sit and talk to me while I clean?”

He looked horrified at the notion. “HUMAN, I UNDERSTAND YOU DON’T WANT YOUR CLEANING ABILITIES TO BE PUT TO SHAME NEXT TO MINE, BUT YOU MUST BE MORE STRAIGHTFORWARD IN ASKING FOR MY HELP!” You felt a bit dazed. He went on, gentler this time. “WHY DON’T WE CLEAN TOGETHER? THAT WAY IT WILL GET DONE MUCH FASTER AND YOU CAN COME HOME TO A CLEAN HOUSE.”

You felt your heart swell, and nodded. The two of you assaulted the house with the newly bought cleaning supplies. Within the hour, most of the house was shining. You looked at the time on your phone and let out a stressed noise. “I gotta go, Paps.” You said, giving him a quick hug. “I’ll see you tonight, okay? I’ll try to stop by after work.” You rushed out the door, only briefly seeing the blush that absolutely covered Papyrus’s face.

You had meant to leave early so you could walk all the way there. It would be good for you and it would give you a way to avoid any more odd omens. You had yourself worked up by the time you reached the River Person, only for them to sing softly in that whispy voice and say something totally innocuous. You didn’t understand what it was supposed to mean. You didn’t really like mushrooms all that much, and figured it was some kind of a metaphor. For what, you had no idea, but you didn’t really care at this point. Again, you sprinted to the lab, and Alphys eagerly led you down to the same little room as yesterday.

Sans sat in the chair you were supposed to take, snoozing softly, with a full cup of coffee still held close to his upturned face. It looked like he had been about to take a sip and dozed off. You chuckled into your hand, and Alphys took the cup away from him. He didn’t even react.

Alphys shook her head in dismay, and returned to yesterday’s notes, which seemed to have grown substantially since you’d last seen them.

“So what are we working on today?” You asked, eagerly.

She smiled anxiously at you. “W-we’re going to try to make something that mimics your soul’s resonance. I’m hoping that we can experiment more on it without damaging you.” She tried to look confident, but the warmth of her expression didn’t reach her eyes.

“Okay…” you said.

“F-first I have to w-wake him up.” She grumbled. “At least he got here on time today.” One of his eyes opened by a sliver, and the white glow pierced you. His smile widened and his eye closed again. Alphys sighed and pushed him out of the chair. “Sans, we have s-serious work to do, and I n-need you to help me keep them still and stable while I d-do this. I-I don’t mean to be pushy, but T-Toriel wants results, and I-want-to-take-tomorrow-off!”

Sans’s gaze bore into Alphys, who was obviously intimidated. She looked like there was a ghost of recognition in her eyes. He shifted that gaze to you, and you hitched an eyebrow at him. Aside from the fact that he was barely taller than you and a monster whose fighting prowess probably dwarfed yours by far, you couldn’t bring yourself to cower. He seemed amused by your relative apathy and gestured to the chair. “warmed it up for you, pal.” He said, and retrieved his coffee. You watched in fascination as he drank it, noticing that it didn’t soak through his clothes. He fidgeted a bit, and grumbled, “quit staring at me. i’m not a freak.”

You shook your head. “I’m sorry, Sans. This is all still new to me. I’m… curious about a lot of things and I don’t know what the etiquette for asking about them is.” You hoped he understood your sincerity. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

He cleared his throat and walked to stand by Alphys, to read her newer notes over her shoulder. You could see a slight blue coloration to his cheekbones, and you wondered with amusement if he was blushing, and if so why. Alphys pointed to some lines and they talked back and forth quietly and cryptically enough that you couldn’t hear enough to understand. You had a bad feeling about this experiment.

“Hey, Alphys, could you tell me again what this is?”

She looked scared at first, but forced a smile. “We’re g-going to store some of your s-soul energy so we c-can experiment on it, see if we can reproduce it.”

“Is it dangerous?”

Sans looked at you tiredly. “d’ya think we’d hurt you?” The way he almost growled it made you certainly feel like it was a possibility.

You tried to break eye contact, and focused on the patterned tiles of the floor, but you could still feel his glare like pinpricks.

Alphys set an object on the table with a _thunk_ and you turned to see what it was. Alphys looked from the welded container to her notes. It was the same shape as your soul but slightly bigger. She encircled it with her magic and gestured Sans over to you. His left eye flared blue and his right was an empty pit. You shivered and pressed yourself into the chair. Sans didn’t move closer to you, and tugged your soul out to meet them from afar. He grappled your soul with his magic, and you once again found it difficult to breathe. Your head lolled back and you stared hazily at the ventilation ducts above you as Alphys brought the metal vessel closer to you, her magic hissing and snapping every so often.

You couldn’t see colors other than the blue glow of Sans’s magic and the occasional yellow flicker of Alphys’s, but you thought you saw something moving in the grate of the ventilation shaft as you stared. You focused your attention on it, still trying desperately to draw breath. It was a leaf? A vine snaked its way out of the grate, and you hissed in breath, your soul began to shudder and leap despite Sans’s firm grasp over it. You let out a panicked noise as the flower’s twisted face laughed maniacally, drawing the two monsters’ attention from the project. Sans immediately relinquished your soul and the flower withdrew from vision. Sans sent waves of bones through the ventilation tubes, ripping huge holes in the ceiling. Alphys cried out, her focus lost, her lab being torn apart. “Sans! Stop!”

You stared at the gaping holes in the ceiling as the ethereal bones disappeared and realized what Undyne had meant. He definitely could kill you if he really wanted to. Instead of it being a comforting realization, it only made you anxious. You rubbed at a particular scar on your arm, and looked at Alphys. It was easier to move this time around, you noted, but your wonderment at the notion faded when you saw Alphys on the verge of tears, staring at her ruined creation. In her frightened state, she had put too much magic into it, you assumed, because it had partially melted. She gave Sans a disbelieving look, and he sighed. “sorry.” He muttered. “you can make another one, right?”

“S-Sans! You d-destroyed my t-testing roooom!” She cried out, and to your and Sans’s absolute horror, she began to cry. Sans didn’t appear to know how to respond. He looked at you, and put your soul back in.

“look, i’ll do my best to fix it.” He promised.

She didn’t look impressed.

“I’ll help.” You offered, feeling like this was partially your fault for some reason.

Alphys shook her head vehemently. “No, l-look… maybe it was for the b-b-best. That was only a… p-prototype. I… wasn’t sure it would work right.” She looked you in the eyes, full of remorse. “It was d-dangerous but… I’m-sorry-I-was-under-pressure-to-figure-this-out-so-I-cut-some-corners-and-I”

You shushed her gently with a smile. “Look, Alphys, we’re friends, aren’t we? I know you’re stressed out, okay? That’s why we should just take some time to relax right now. Toriel will understand the situation—she’s been nothing but kind to me so far, and despite her being firm with you, she’s not cruel.” Alphys dried her eyes and assessed the damage to the room. You went on, “Everything will be fine—we just have to take everything one day at a time.” Alphys nodded shakily. “When you feel like things are going to overwhelm you, remind yourself to take it one day at a time, okay? Say it back to me.”

She looked embarrassed. “One day at a time.”

“That’s right. You understand what that means, don’t you?” You prompted, keeping your tone gentle so you wouldn’t sound condescending. “Not everything has to be done all at once. There will always be tomorrow.”

“says a creature with an average life expectancy of only eighty years.” Sans remarked.

Alphys bristled, but you diffused the situation again. “That’s true, but it’s a calming thing to live by—someone as lazy as you would know that.”

“heh. got me there.” He shrugged. “so according to that little mantra, i guess it’s time to quit for the day. i’m going to grillby’s.” He winked and walked out, disappearing before the door shut all the way.

Alphys put her head in her hands. “I _have_ to have s-some kind of report today, though…”

“What about those notes? That’s more than enough, isn’t it?”

She looked concerned and put the notes away. “Yeah, no. I-I promised her concrete findings, not theories.”

“Remember what I told you? She isn’t going to bite your head off.”

Alphys nodded but looked at you. “I just don’t want to screw up again. I disappoint everyone…”

“You don’t disappoint Undyne.” You argued, but the look on her face made you feel like you were missing something. “You don’t disappoint Mettaton.” You added.

She snorted humorlessly. “If you only knew.” She muttered.

“Hey, hey, maybe this isn’t a total loss.” You said, changing the subject. “I’ll just… let’s come up with something to report on. I’m not exactly a wealth of knowledge when it comes to science or anything, but maybe I know some things about humans that you guys didn’t know yet?”

She gave you a hopeful look. “Why are you so nice to me?”

You shrugged. “I feel like we’re kind of in the same boat. I have anxiety problems, too.” You almost added that you were convinced Sans did, as well. That seemed a bit irrelevant, though, so you went on. “I think that you could use another friend, and frankly so could I. Plus, Undyne told me about your little date tomorrow. I’m rooting for you!”

She put her face in her hands to cover her maddened blush.

“So, do you have any questions about humans that I could answer?” You asked, getting back to the root of the issue. “We have to come up with something, right? Let’s get to work on this.”

She scrubbed at her face and looked up at you with a resolute smile. She chewed on the tip of her black ink pen and made a face, blushing again. “Because nothing I have goes into detail as to why, I… kind of want to know how humans… you know…” She gave you a meaningful, if embarrassed, look.

“Alphys, you can’t be serious.” You whined. “That, really?”

“Look, I’ve seen a lot of hen—anime!” She amended herself right in time.

“So I’ve heard.” You raised your brow at her playfully. She let out a terrified squeak, her face even more red than before. You were concerned she might pass out from the embarrassment. “Don’t worry, Alphys, I’ve seen hentai, too.” You admitted. “But… it’s not realistic, most times.”

She sagged in disappointment before readying the pen. “Can you explain?”

You struggled with how to start. “First off… unlike its portrayal in anime, rape is not okay, and it is not pleasant at all.”

Alphys gave you a confused look, but when you didn’t go further her face dawned with understanding. “I’m s-sorry, I don’t know much about that… It’s not really an issue here in the Underground. Everyone knows everybody and… a lot of us don’t even… do that… L-like physically can’t.”

“Okay. So, onto the next point…” You said, as she jotted down a couple of things. “Not all humans are shaped the same. And most of them are not shaped like they are in anime. Anime figures are idealized to the extremes; they are for the most part, the pinnacle of either a fetish or a beauty standard.”

She nodded. “Can you explain beauty standards?”

You stared at her dumbly for a moment, and realized that since no two monsters looked the same unless they were related somehow, they probably didn’t uphold beauty standards the way humans did. “Well… Humans are all similar in make. We have our differences, yes, but… Well, anyway. Some humans are considered more beautiful than the others because of traits that have been idealized, fetishized, and so on.” You waited for her to quit writing before continuing. She looked fascinated. “Humans who don’t meet that standard are belittled, treated as less. It can lead to hostility and…” You trailed off. "It also applies to people who think differently."

“So there’s a human hierarchy?”

“Definitely. In more ways than one. Humans are evil, evil creatures, even to other humans.” You said it quietly. “ _Especially_ to other humans.” For a moment you wondered how humans would interact with these sweet monsters and felt your stomach grow cold and knot up.

“Okay…” She said as she finished writing, giving you an encouraging smile. “So I’ve seen a lot of it, but I don’t really understand what happens afterward. There’s sometimes an implication that... that... is how humans are made, but I don’t understand how.”

You smiled. “Well, that’s quite the topic.” And you explained as best you could how it worked. You never figured in your entire life you would be explaining this to anyone—at least not this soon. You realized this might be the only time you would have to, and sighed in relief. You realized you wouldn’t have to carry your abuser’s child. Another weight from a false future slid from your shoulders.

Alphys startled you by asking you another question. “So souls aren’t involved in it at all? I mean, it makes sense, since you’d never seen yours before yesterday… Wow.” She got a glint in her eyes and she peered at you. “I wonder if humans and monsters can reproduce.” You were surprised she didn't stutter even once. She must be really fascinated.

You stared at her, face numb with heat. “Wha-?”

“See, we can’t break the barrier without seven human souls. We’re back to square one, as you know… but I wonder, if it were actually possible for a human and monster to have a child, would the resulting creature have enough Determination to count toward the barrier?”

You couldn’t respond, or breathe. Finally, you managed to say, “I need to go home.” And you struggled to pass her and get into the room that resembled an infirmary, with all the beds. She panicked and ran after you, but you were already up the corridor and out into the brighter, cheerier part of the lab. She didn’t follow, but you didn’t exactly wait around.

You decided not to talk to the River Person this time. If they mentioned children you might throw them into the water. You walked stormily through Hotland, telling yourself that it was just anger and the heat around you that made your face hurt like this. Monsters that would have normally confronted you gave you a wide berth. You were obviously not in the mood right now, and they had been sternly warned by both Undyne and Papyrus not to harm you.

Hotland gave way to Waterfall, and as you sloshed through the still waters, you found yourself staring up at the glittering ceiling of the cave. You rested next to a blue flower and cried silently, missing the stars and the moon. The flower spoke, and you stiffened.

“What’s the point of wishing anymore, man? We’re gonna be down here forever.”

You didn’t recognize the voice, but you answered the flower’s question anyway. “Even so, you gotta take it one day at a time. It will always get better.”

The flower mimicked you. “It will always get better.”

You smiled, still thinking the flower was sentient, and gently patted it before moving on. As you walked past the flowers, you heard voices, none of them familiar. You blot your tears and chide yourself for crying while you continue through on your way to Snowdin. You remembered abruptly that your feet being soaking wet was a problem. You made a note to yourself to take off your shoes and roll up your pant legs next time you pass through Waterfall.

You recalled a song from a dream and began to hum it. Your throat crackled and you remembered you hadn’t drank anything all day. You felt a craving kick in for carbonation, caffeine, and sugar. You felt despair wash over you at the idea that monsters might not have soft drinks. You heard something in the distance, echoing. At first it frightened you, until you recognized it as Undyne’s uproarious laughter. You smiled, and noticed that she was heading in your direction, coming from Snowdin. Her eyepatch was lifted, and you noticed her usually covered eye glinted strangely. Did she focus magic in her eye like Sans did, or…? You didn’t have time to ponder it. She saw you and her laughter redoubled as she tackled you.

“Undyne, what--?”

“Ohmygod Alphys told me everything!” She laughed, lifting you and tossing you up in the air like a sack of flour.

“Sweet Christ, Undyne!” You yelled indignantly when she caught you.

“Do you seriously think she’s going to make you bond and pop out six kids?!” She asked, her face dangerously close to yours, eyes intent and teeth sharp and glistening. “She didn’t mean anything by it, punk! I promise. You can’t form a bond without some sort of romantic feelings anyway!” She said, now holding you at arm’s length, your feet still not even brushing the ground. “She was just being a nerd and talking about it. You shoulda heard her! It was so fuckin’ funny!” She dropped you onto your feet and you swayed. She slapped you on the back roughly and laughed again, softer this time. “Fufufufu, don’t worry about that, okay? I don’t know how it works with humans aside from what I know from anime, but monsters can’t accidentally have kids. Both partners have to want it for it to happen.”

You nodded, feeling relieved. “I’m sorry, it’s just… a touchy subject for me.”

She didn’t look surprised, just a bit curious. “Well, how about this?” She gestured toward Snowdin. “Me and Papyrus will teach you how to fight. That way, if you’re ever in a situation that makes you feel scared, you can beat the shit out of them!” She laughed. “Also, she told me that Sans destroyed her lab.” She crossed her arms. “I might have to kick his ass for that.”

“How is that going to be fixed? It’ll probably take weeks of work.” You asked.

She chuckled and the two of you began walking toward Snowdin again. “Well, do you know how to weld?”

You shook your head.

“Damn… well, you’re gonna learn then! Welding is one of the most badass things in the world!” She said. “Alphys made Mettaton, and she fixed my armor all the time—I always wished she could make it lighter so I could run faster in it…”

“So I learn to weld, and then what?”

“Sans picks you up with his magic—” She noticed your shiver and relaxed. “Maybe Papyrus, if Alphys will let him down there. He gets into trouble if you don’t watch him, and there are places in that lab that _I’ve_ never been allowed to see.” She looked lost in thought for a moment. “But that’s okay, because I know she’ll tell me one day! If it were something important, she’d have told me by now.” She remembered her original topic, and continued. “So someone with blue magic lifts you, you weld the shit closed, and then we watch anime!”

After the two of you laughed a lot, you thought of something. “You don’t curse in front of Papyrus. Is it because Sans threatened you?”

“ _What?_ You think I’m scared of _him_?!” She slapped you on the back again and knocked the breath out of you. “I could definitely take him! I’d only have to hit him once!” You waited. She realized she hadn’t really answered the question. She sighed. “Naw, it’s mostly because Papyrus is just… he repeats just about anything he hears. Can you imagine him running around saying shit and fuck all the time?”

You couldn’t. The idea itself made you laugh so hard you couldn’t breathe.

“As it was, Sans made puns based on the word ass until Papyrus quit saying it. I didn’t want to subject him to more of that based on other words, so I kinda just put him on a filter. I don’t curse around kids, either.” Undyne put her eyepatch down as the cold made itself known.

You smiled. “He’s really just too innocent, isn’t he?”

She shrugged. “I think it’s more than that.” She was uncharacteristically serious now. “Even though he’s naïve and acts all arrogant… He can’t accept bad things. He still refuses to believe that Frisk might be dead. He insists that they must be up on the surface, doing peaceful surface-things. As much as we hope he’s right… it just doesn’t seem likely. Sans doesn’t want anyone to challenge Papyrus’s logic. He doesn’t want Papyrus to be a jaded prick like he is.”

“He acts almost more like a dad than a brother.”

“Yeah. But like I said, they’re all they have.”

Silence ensued, and the skelebros’ house loomed in the distance. “Undyne, I have a question.”

“Shoot me, punk.”

“Please for the love of all that is holy tell me there’re carbonated drinks down here somewhere!”

She laughed. “You’ll have to ask Alphys. She has some ramune in the fridge at her place!”

“How the hell did you find ramune?”

“We found it with some anime and manga. That’s why some of the dvd boxes and books are sticky. Not all of the sodas survived the fall.”

You spend a while sitting with Papyrus and Undyne in the kitchen, talking more about cooking and basic common sense. You mention a family recipe for spaghetti sauce, by mistake. The two monsters insisted that you make it for them, right then and there. You explained that you would need specific ingredients. They asked what all you needed, and you rattled everything off. Tomatoes and noodles were covered, but there was no ground beef. That was not a surprise—how would the Underground have cows? You counted the other ingredients, stopping at mushrooms with a wry grin.

“WHAT’S WRONG, HUMAN?” Papyrus asked. “DID YOU FORGET HOW TO TALK? ALPHYS DOES THAT SOMETIMES. IS SHE RUBBING OFF ON YOU?”

You laughed and explained the River Person’s words that morning. He had encouraged you to eat mushrooms. “See?! It was fate! You must make the spaghetti tonight!” Undyne cheered.

So you found yourself in the grocery store, purchasing enough ingredients to feed six people (when it came to this particular recipe, you always put away more than your share), and then at the stove, walking them through cutting onions without breaking countertops. Papyrus didn’t understand why the onion made you cry, but you just laughed and hummed under your breath, finding it easier to ignore the tears by taking your mind off of it. Undyne had picked up meat—you weren’t sure what exactly it was from, and were afraid to ask, but remembered that it couldn’t be a monster, because they turn to dust when they die. That was a small consolation, as the idea of one of these sweet creatures dying made you lose your appetite. That lasted until the meat began to brown in the skillet with the diced onion.

“Now, the remainder of the onion, you can do two things with it. You can either cook it in something else right now, or use it to absorb bad things.”

“Wait, what?” Undyne laughed.

“Onions absorb bad bacteria, which gets rid of gross smells. I always kept one in my fridge so it wouldn’t smell bad. Just, if you do that, remember to never cook it. Otherwise you’ll eat all of the bad bacteria in it. That is one of the most painful bouts of food poisoning you will ever have.” You chuckled, personal experience making your face twist into a grimace.

“IT ABSORBS ODOR? I WILL PUT IT IN SANS’S ROOM, THEN!” Papyrus said, grabbing the remaining half of the onion and marching up the stairs.

Undyne laughed and watched as you drained the grease into a bowl, since you couldn’t reach the sink. It was all well and good, you decided, as it isn’t good to dump grease into a drain. You’d dispose of it properly later. Papyrus returned and you explained to them how to properly cook the noodles, and began to feel nostalgic to your childhood again. Memories of your mother patiently teaching you the recipe with profanity lacing every other sentence, sing-songing the recipe, adding the ingredients in with enough dramatized gusto that it made you laugh. You added the sauce ingredients all together and told them now they just had to wait while it cooked. They gave you a strange look. Neither of them were the patient sort, you noted with a smile.

“I don’t get it.” Undyne said. “It won’t get any hotter just keeping it on that temperature! You’ve got to turn the heat up!”

Your phone began ringing, and before you answered you encouraged them to wait, and if after five minutes it wasn’t hot, you’d admit defeat. Undyne liked the idea, and you picked up the phone.

“Ohh Darling~! Have you missed me? I’m at the ruins, but you’re not here! Where did you wander off to?” Mettaton absolutely oozed charm and cheer.

“Oh, I’m with Papyrus and Undyne. What’s up?”

“Muffet got done with all of the commissions, so I was going to run them by for you! Are you busy?”

You looked at the stove. “I was making dinner. I know you can’t eat, but I’d love to see you before you head back out. I know you’ll be too busy with tour stuff…”

He sighed. “Ah, I know it must be hard to be without me, dearie.” He taunted harmoniously.

“Oh! I saw one of your musicals last night.” The memory of the random mustache almost made you snort even now. “It, uhh, was very entertaining! You have a great voice.”

“I’ll be right over, darling; I simply _must_ hear your praise face-to-faceplate!” You chuckled and agreed. Undyne and Papyrus gave you quizzical glances and you explained that Mettaton was bringing you your new clothes and wanted to hear your feedback on his musical. Papyrus ran upstairs to change clothes as Undyne sighed and sat down.

“What’s wrong?” You asked.

“I have to resist the urge to break his arms sometimes. If I do it, Alphys will have to fix him back up again, and she’ll miss our date.”

You laughed. “Why would you want to break Mettaton’s arms?”

She shrugged. “We don’t always see eye to eye.”

You didn’t push for more information, remembering how they’d interacted when talking about Frisk the day you had fallen. “I believe in you, Undyne! You can do this.” You said and returned to the stove to check the food. Papyrus clambered down the steps again at a breakneck pace and then sat down at the table, trying to look casual. You and Undyne exchanged bemused glances, partially because of Papyrus’s obvious want to impress the robot and partially because he was wearing shorts and a crop top.

The sauce was ready, and you tested the noodles—the door opened and Mettaton made his arrival known the only way he knew how: theatrically. You strained the noodles and asked Undyne to grab plates as Mettaton danced through the house, actually singing about his day melodramatically. You couldn’t stop giggling. You wanted to encourage Papyrus to go dance with Mettaton, but felt like that would be too cruel. The normally so extroverted skeleton was silent, eyes glued to the dancing figure.

You looked at Undyne and grinned mischievously. “I ship it.” You whispered to her.

She chortled, and your new plan for your friends filled you with DETERMINATION.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, and thank you for reading my fic! I am so happy that people are enjoying it-- i never thought i would be writing 10-20 page chapters and posting them on the internet with minimal editing, but here we are! Thank you for going on the experimental journey with me and being so kind.
> 
> I'm always open for suggestions on scenarios for the story! Even when this one is done, I still have a "plot-hole" series that supplements this fic.  
> If you have any ideas or situations you think would be fun to see, please comment! I love hearing feedback and it really reaaally makes my day to know that someone out there enjoys my work!
> 
> Thank you all and have a lovely day/night!  
> ~Z


	6. Humans Are the True "Monsters"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING! THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS A LOT OF REFERENCES TO ABUSE!  
> Also, it's like... 99.9% angst. So yeah.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a small, very hesitant admission, here... The reader-character's past relationship is directly modeled after my former relationship. It has been very... dark... to relive some of those things, but at the same time, it has helped me personally to remember where I've come from and how I've changed.  
> If you or anyone you know is in an abusive relationship, please help them. If I hadn't had the help from my now-girlfriend, I probably wouldn't be here writing this. 
> 
> Now, for happier topics, thank you all so very much for reading and for enjoying this fic! Please drop me a line if you see anything ooc or something that seems bothersome. This is my first fanfic, so I'm determined to get it right! I'm also down for ideas or funny situations, headcanons, and so on.
> 
> Edited: 4/16/16  
> Added links to most of the clothing.   
> Added link to scene, for those who haven't seen the cult classic "The Crow" but still want to get the reference. If you haven't seen it, you should go watch it right now. It's beautiful, if violent. Worth it. So, so worth it.

Sans and Alphys sat in the ruined testing room, going over the day’s new notes. Alphys gave him an apologetic look. “I c-can’t go through with the plan, Sans. I c-can’t risk h-hurting them.”

He shrugged. “we’ll just find another way, then. so, your notes…” He looked away. “why? why this?”

She blushed. “C-call it curiosity… I j-j-just wanted to know m-more about what I’ve seen.”

It was quiet. Sans was morbidly curious, especially since the only information his fa… _Gaster_ had put in the file was that it was disgusting.

 

Sans had so much regret for asking to see this.

He held the comic book in his hands as if it were the most repulsive thing in existence. It might be, he decided.

Disgusting had been an appropriate word. He turned the page and choked.

“S-sans? Are you okay?” Alphys asked. “If you want, you can take it home with you… I need to get to sleep.”

He tossed the book down and got up. “nope, nope. no thanks. i’m out. bye.” And he disappeared. Alphys picked the manga up and searched for the offending page. The way the character was bending, you could see their ribs through their skin. On the neighboring page was a lovely view of exposed hipbones and the valley of a flat stomach. Alphys put the manga up, called Undyne and began telling her everything.

 

* * *

 

You reminded yourself as you stepped into your living room that you needed to give Papyrus an extra warm hug for helping you clean. The house was spotless—you couldn’t remember the last time you’d lived in a space so clean. He’d even cleaned the kitchen, down to organizing your fridge so the groceries would fit. You walked around the house, taking in the air which, although still slightly stuffy, smelled like cleaning products but not so intensely that it burned your nose.

You went to your room, the only place that you had cleaned alone. Papyrus had said that it would be improper for him to intrude on your personal space without invitation, especially while you weren’t home. You sat down on your bed and began to look over the new clothes. Muffet had certainly outdone herself. You thought of how serious she had been about trying to get a look that was uniquely “you” and how she had said that fitting for a human would be weird, but definitely not a problem. She apparently had a photographic memory.

You were certainly glad that Muffet had listened to you when you had insisted on certain things you would never wear. You were relieved that she had been so kind and had let you choose your starting designs rather than just take over and make whatever she thought would look best. Mettaton had said how if it would be okay, he’d love to see you in a dress just once. As much as you agreed that anyone could wear a dress if they wanted to, you just didn’t feel comfortable in them. You never had. He had backed off after that, thankfully, but you were concerned it might come up in the future.

The first thing you pulled out of the bag (which was big enough to carry an entire human if they were either a very pliant or dismembered, you mused with a macabre smile) was a [binder](http://www.ebay.com/itm/Lesbian-Tank-Top-Vest-Breast-Chest-Binder-FTM-Tomboy-Bandage-Undershirt-005-New-/251531834420?var=&hash=item3a90773434:m:m_lJeBMuqi3u-aJj7cMYHUg). You felt tears prick your eyes—you’d never had one before, and when you had whispered that you’d wanted one, Muffet had given you an understanding smile and measured you straight away while jotting notes with another set of hands. You held the binder to your face and dubbed it the Tank of Happiness and lovingly put it aside to take out the next things.

Included were a few store-bought bra and panty sets, as well as some more gender-neutral underwear that made you sigh in relief. Muffet was infinitely more accepting and understanding than your family (and definitely your abuser) had been. There was a package of ribbons and hair bands as well as a couple of beanies in soft, comforting material. One was black, one was olive green. She had remarked that olive had looked startlingly nice against your soul-aura. There were two matching scarfs that were equally as soothing to the touch, and a pair of black faux-leather gloves lined with something soft and plush.

The next thing you pulled from the bag was a double-breasted button up [vest ](http://www.ebay.com/itm/SHRINE-GOTHIC-VAMPIRE-CAVALIER-VEST-JACKET-VICTORIAN-TAPESTRY-GOTH-STEAMPUNK/381053701016?_trksid=p2047675.c100005.m1851&_trkparms=aid%3D222007%26algo%3DSIC.MBE%26ao%3D1%26asc%3D35828%26meid%3Dae819bbffa1c4b15b3c482b9e312261c%26pid%3D100005%26rk%3D3%26rkt%3D6%26sd%3D381078382212)that laced in the back like a corset. It was black brocade, immaculate, and when you tried it on, it fit perfectly to your form. You struggled into the binder and tried the vest again, tightening the strings on the back—and you looked into the mirror, struggling to breathe for multiple reasons. You wiped away tears and smiled at your reflection. You felt perfect.

You sat back down and dug in the bag for another garment, finding a white button-up dress shirt, made of polished cotton, if you guessed correctly, and a [crimson ](http://shrinestore.com/store/catalog/product_info.php?cPath=34&products_id=1016)one made of fine silk. You rubbed the silk on your face until you put it down with the horrifying thought that Muffet could have made the shirt from spider-silk. After all, she’d explained to you her normal business—and how the food was made. You shuddered despite yourself.

You dug into the bag again, finding something more casual. T-shirts in a variety of colors and styles, shorts and tanktops, and a few pair of cargo pants in olive and black. There were black suspenders, and plain black denim jeans. And just as you’d ~~begged~~ asked, not a speck of pink in sight. There were dress pants, as well, you noted, as well as a small collection of knee socks. You wondered how much this had cost Mettaton, since he’d most likely footed the bill, and winced.

You looked at your still-soggy shoes, which lay beside your door. What would you do about those? They were falling apart anyway, but you didn't have anything to replace them with. You'd been wearing them since high school. It was a wonder they had held up this long.

You decided to get up and get ready for bed. You could deal with that in the morning. You grabbed a pair of the shorts and one of the tanktops and put them on, reluctantly taking the binder off. You put the new clothes away, and put your dirty clothes in a pile in the corner of the room, reminding yourself to find a hamper soon.

Your phone began to ring, and the sudden noise made you yell. You calmed yourself and answered the phone, trying to keep your voice even.

“HUMAN! I APOLOGIZE FOR CALLING YOU SO VERY LATE, BUT YOU SEEM TO HAVE FORGOTTEN SOMETHING HERE.”

“I did?” You asked, genuinely confused.

“YES, THERE IS A BAG HERE FULL OF FOOTWEAR THAT WON’T FIT ANY OF US. I THINK IT CAME FROM METTATON, BUT HE LEFT BEFORE I COULD ASK.” You chuckled at the disappointment in his voice. “WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO BRING IT OVER RIGHT NOW, OR IN THE MORNING?”

You grinned at his preciousness. “No, Paps, get some rest. It can wait for the morning, okay?”

“IF YOU ARE SURE, THEN I SUPPOSE IT IS OKAY.” He said, his normally bright tone sinking.

“Hey, is something wrong?” You ask, concern creeping into your voice.

There was silence on the other side. You heard a door close in the background. Quietly, Papyrus responded. “Undyne has been saying very strange things. She keeps asking if I’d smooch a ghost, but when I remind her I lack lips, she just laughs.”

“I don’t understand the relevance of the ghost.” You admitted.

“Oh…” He made a surprised noise. “IN THAT CASE, I SUPPOSE WE SHOULD WATCH METTATON’S BIOGRAPHICAL FILM COLLECTION!” You cringed at the sudden change in volume.

As much as you appreciated Mettaton as a friend, you weren’t sure how many of his films you could bear to watch. When it came to stories, you preferred to read them—unless it was a video game. Your fingers twitched, and you popped your knuckles in frustration. You explained to Papyrus that you preferred stories to movies, and he got even more excited. “I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, MUST TELL YOU OF ALL THE WONDERFUL ESCAPADES METTATON HAS PARTICIPATED IN! PERHAPS OVER A PLATE OF SPAGHETTI!” You laughed and told him that sounded great but he needed to get some rest if he wanted to be over first thing in the morning.

After the phone call had concluded, you plugged your phone in and collapsed on the bed, but sleep didn’t immediately find you. Was it because of the nightmares? You supposed it could be… you weren’t used to sleeping in such quiet. It felt wrong… frightening… but you didn’t have a radio or even the CD's that you’d once cherished and fallen asleep to every night. You tried to play a song in your head, but anytime you fell into that state between wakefulness and sleep, the song would stop and you’d wake up.

Without the music, you felt… trapped. The deafening silence pressing in on you was nothing compared to the din in your head. You heard the voices of your past: your abuser, your family who were never pleased with any efforts you’d put forth, your coworkers who had always badmouthed you while you were still in earshot. You grabbed one of the plush pillows and smothered yourself with it, sandwiching your head between it and the other pillow. You could still breathe, and the sound of the fabric against your head lulled you, erasing some of the silence.

You woke to the noise of the door slamming and loud footsteps charging up the stairs. You smiled and got up slowly, feeling like you had just woken from death rather than sleep. You hadn’t dreamed, either. That was a good sign. You went into the living room and waved to Papyrus, who blushed when he saw you. You were still in shorts and a tank, but you felt you didn’t look obscene or anything. He wouldn’t look your way now, and you looked down at yourself. You weren’t wearing a bra. You laughed nervously and apologized, slipping back into your room and sinking against the door in embarrassment.

You rectified the situation by putting on the binder, feeling squeezed. You assured yourself that it was something that would take some getting used to, but it wouldn’t be a problem. You emerged to discover he was nowhere to be seen, and that there was a bag beside your bedroom door. “Paps, you here?” you called, but nobody answered. You sighed and pulled out your phone, calling him. It was best to get this out of the way immediately. You heard a ringtone from your kitchen, and you smiled, heading in that direction.

Papyrus was scrubbing the inside of the oven with enough force you thought he’d turn his fingers to ~~dust~~ powder from the pressure. You hung up your phone and sighed audibly, but he didn’t respond. “Hey, Paps, what’s up?” Your voice was still slightly husky from sleep. From the sound of it, he moved suddenly, hitting his head on the top of the stove. He hissed and fell backwards onto his tailbone. Concerned, you stepped forward and offered to help pull him up. He hesitantly took your hand, and you hoisted him to his feet.

He still wouldn’t look you in the eyes. You chuckled. “Paps, what’s wrong? I’m decent now, I’m sorry. I just forget I have them.” Then you paused. “Wait, what’s the issue, anyway?”

His face was almost aflame. “IT REMINDED ME OF A CARTOON ALPHYS AND UNDYNE SHOWED ME!”

Oh, Jesus Christ. What did they let him watch?!

He hazarded a glance at you and sighed in relief. “YOU’RE NOT UPSET WITH ME?”

“Not at all. But… why was your reaction to come in here and clean my stove?”

He buried his head in his hands. “YOU HAVE NO WINDOWS I COULD JUMP THROUGH!” It was a cry of despair, and you couldn’t help but laugh. “AND NOW YOU’RE GOING TO FEEL ODD AROUND ME LIKE THE HUMAN IN THE CARTOON!”

You laughed harder. “Well, Paps, you don’t really have to worry about that.” You assured. “I’m strong. I will survive this, and I’m pretty confident you will too.” He didn’t look convinced, so you brought out the big guns. “After all, aren’t you the Great Papyrus? You can make it through anything!”

He nodded. You sighed from relief. “YOU’RE RIGHT, HUMAN.” He said it thoughtfully.

“Of course I am! Now… let’s talk about Mettaton before you have to go patrol. Should I go with you, since I’m not due at the lab today?”

He shook his head. “I TAKE MY JOB VERY SERIOUSLY! I ALSO TAKE MY FRIENDSHIPS VERY SERIOUSLY… TO ATTEND TO BOTH AT THE SAME TIME WOULD BE UNFAIR TO EITHER PARTY.” You smiled at him, and praised his logic. You asked him about Mettaton again, and he grinned eagerly. “METTATON IS SO POPULAR AND AGILE AND…” He went on and on about the amazing qualities of your mutual robot friend, to the point where you were concerned he’d run out of breath.

He explained that Mettaton was a ghost who had dreamed of fame and stardom, but was unable to obtain it due to his lack of a body that matched his fabulous ability to express things. He and Alphys became friends and she built his body. Mettaton, you discovered through Papyrus, is a ghost inhabiting a metal vessel.

Your mind wandered to the metal heart-shaped container Alphys had been moving closer and closer to your soul before everything went to hell in a handbasket.

Papyrus noticed your silence and looked at the clock. “OH NO! I’M LATE FOR BEING EARLY!” He lunged for the door with a cry of “HAVE FUN TODAY!”

Thoroughly snapped out of your reverie, you sat around the living room, looking at the few books that remained on the shelves. You really needed to remember to visit the library again. Feeling listless, you picked one up. It was a joke book, but when you opened it, you noticed there was only one joke.

 **What’s brown and sticky?**  
**A stick.**

You stared at the book and laughed to yourself as you replaced it on the shelf.

You leaned back in the chair and sighed dismally. Should you dress up and go out? No, you decided. You didn’t feel like getting cold and wet right then. Remembering your soaked shoes, you went to grab the bag of mystery footwear. Boots, flats, boots, tennis shoes.

You realized that Mettaton had supplied the entire bag of shoes. Muffet hadn’t had anything to do with these. You softened as you looked the shoes over. The two pair of boots were your favorite. [One ](http://www.pleaserusa.com/ProductDetail.asp?div=2_DEMONIA&dpt=90_VEGAN&ctg=&STYLE_CD=BEAR-202&PROD_CD=BEAR202%2FB%2FPU)was a pair of black fuzzy platformers that looked ideal for snow-travel, and the [others ](http://www.rebelsmarket.com/products/handmade-japan-gothic-visual-kei-industrial-d-ring-vegan-knee-high-boots-101689)were black faux-leather combat boots, lacing to the knee. The flats would be ideal for traveling in Hotlands and Waterfall, you admitted, and the tennis shoes were not offensive. Nothing was in a despised color, either. Even though Mettaton was enamored with the color pink, you noted with a good deal of respect that he hadn’t thrust that on you.

You went to your room to put the shoes away, attempting to hum but finding it nearly impossible with the binder on. You would need to practice more to be able to project yourself, you thought, not really minding. It would keep you from unintentionally humming or singing in front of others. You weren’t sure about monsters, but humans tended to tell you to be quiet if you sang or hummed. The fact that you did it unwittingly didn’t help.

Your phone began to ring, and you saw Alphys’s name over the number. Your stomach sank and you answered. You hadn’t talked to her since you had run away, and you felt guilty but also apprehensive.

“H-Hey, Alphys here… I… We found something.”

“At the dump?”

“Yeah… Hey… How do you spell your name?”

You didn’t understand why it was relevant, but you told her anyway.

There was a tense silence. Suddenly, you heard muffled voices, before Undyne took the phone. “We’re coming over. You’re at home, right?”

“Yes? What’s going on?”

She didn’t answer. “We’ll be there soon.” She said at last, and hung up.

You stared at the phone for a while and went back to the living room, feeling incredibly uneasy.

You heard the door open, and the two of them came in, talking quietly. The echoing made it difficult to understand what was being said, but you picked up bits and pieces. “-upset?” “-be there-” “I know.”

Alphys peeked around the stairs at you, Undyne following with a big cardboard box that was soaked on the bottom and on one side. It was full to the brim, and you saw something oddly familiar poking out the top. You jumped up and ran to them, not sure what you were looking at. Alphys handed you a ramune soda, and you grabbed it, but looked at the box. From there, you could smell the garbage dump on it—but something else as well. Your stomach turned. It smelled like your home—like Him.

You shrank away, and Undyne gave you a look that was out of place on her. Regretful? Sympathetic? You couldn’t identify it. There was anger mixed in with it. Alphys and Undyne exchanged troubled glances and resumed their way to the living room, sitting down on the floor and turning the box around so you could see the familiar handwriting on it: your first name. Someone had taken your personal effects, boxed them up, and tossed them. And from the handwriting, you knew exactly who it was, too.

You sank down and felt the numbness overtake you. You had been convinced, somehow, that you at least meant enough to him that he wouldn’t give up on you coming back so quickly. You had dreaded the idea, but you were _certain_ he would come looking for you! Yes, you knew that you couldn’t mean much more to him than how he treated you, but… he had been your best friend—and eventually, your only friend. Apparently, your memory was nothing but garbage to him. You… couldn’t feel surprised at that. After all, hadn’t he called you garbage before?

Alphys looked very worried, and reached out to you. You shook your head and leaned away. “Your soul is reacting to your t-turmoil.” She stated, as if explaining would take it away.

“There is no turmoil.” You spoke in monotone, feeling nothing but the growing Void in your heart.

Undyne got up and came toward you. “We can feel it, even if we can’t see it. Come on, nerd. You gotta be brave and face this crap, okay? We’re here for you.”

She dragged you to your chair and then sat back down next to Alphys. From your seat, you could see into the box, and you saw all the things he’d given you. The box was full of the gifts he’d pushed onto you in the first few years while things were still… reasonable.

You reached out with shaking hands and grabbed a DVD, smiling regretfully at it. It was a concert of a band you had loved since you were very young—you didn’t have the CD of it, but he found the DVD and bought it for you. You had watched it with him and your parents. They all had made fun of the repetitious lyrics and somber mood, and you had struggled to ignore them and enjoy seeing what you had previously only heard.

Another DVD was under it. It was Ouran High School Host Club. You handed it to Alphys, who looked uncertain. “The manga was better.” You told her. She gave a brief nod and accepted it. Your breath caught when you saw the DVD under that one. You launched forward and grabbed it, hugging it to you. They gave you startled looks. Undyne looked like she had been about to grab you as you’d lurched.

“It’s The Crow!” You told them. “It was a movie that I watched a lot as a kid, and… it’s such a beautiful story, if a bit violent and… inappropriate for kids.”

Undyne snorted. “What’s it about?”

The explanation tried to burst out of you, but you held it back with insurmountable effort. “How about we all watch it later?” You managed to ask instead. “I won’t do it justice. It’s an experience.”

“Will it h-hurt you to watch it?” Alphys asked.

You shook your head. “It’s… it reminds me of good things.” You paused, thinking back. “This movie was a part of me before he was.” You felt anger twist your face. “He can’t take that away from me.”

You kept it firmly to your chest and rummaged into the box, pulling out the video games he’d gotten you. The console wasn’t there. You sagged in disappointment, but remembered you didn’t have a TV, anyway. There were a couple of your CD's, but they weren’t your favorite ones. Again, you realized you had no way to listen to them, and you grumbled to yourself.

“I have a computer, if you want, I can put the music on your phone.” Alphys offered.

You smiled at her, catching tears in your eyes. “I’d like that.”

Under all of the disks, there was a soggy leather [trench-coat](https://www.abbyshot.com/blogs/great-abbyshot-blog/16617024-school-for-gifters-11-the-enigma), lined in red satin. You cried a bit. You took it out of the box and held it up. Alphys asked what it was, and you explained it was a professionally made custom coat that resembled something from one of your favorite video games.

Undyne grabbed it and looked at it from all different angles. “It looks bad-ass!”

You nodded. “I got it right before they discontinued the custom version.”

Alphys looked at you solemnly “What’s wrong?”

“It’s probably ruined. Leather doesn’t do well with water.”

“I can fix this.” She said. “I-I think so, anyway.”

You shook your head. “I don’t want it.” They both looked at you expectantly. “The deal for that coat was that…” You felt your face twist into a disgusted grimace. “He made me do some… things for that coat.”

They didn’t look like they got it at first. “Do you want to talk about it?” Undyne asked, looking past the trench-coat in her hands at you.

You meant to refuse, you meant to tell them it wasn’t important. They’d never meet him, he’d never come here for you. But those reasons only strengthened your resolve, and so you began.

“Years ago, I started dating a guy. He was sweet, funny, and a total nerd, just like me. For three years, we never once even had an argument… but…” You shivered, remembering the first time. He’d grabbed you by the shoulder and thrust you against the wall. “If I ever managed to wound his pride… he’d wound me.” You looked up at them, not knowing what to hope for. You expected Undyne to be disgusted, but instead, she had put down the coat and was clutching her hands together to keep from punching your walls—that was what it looked like, anyway. Alphys was listening, her face somber but not pitying. She wanted you to go on. She wanted to help.

You sighed. “Everything went downhill fast. He threatened things that when we’d first got together, I wouldn’t have believed he’d do… And he eventually did them all. He told me that… the only way he could prove that he loved me was by buying things for me, and if I wanted him to know I loved him, I would have to do whatever he asked me to do.”

Undyne growled. “Where is he?”

“Surface.” You grumbled.

“If we get to the fucking surface, you’re giving me his name and address and I’m going to fucking kill him so fucking hard.” The look in her eyes was not only vicious, but unquestionably terrifying. She reigned herself in, and you noticed her hands were shaking from her rage and her tenuous control over it. After an obviously practiced exercise of breathing normally, she smiled down at you. “He’s the one who made the bruises, right?”

You nodded, and then showed her your arms. The bruises were gone, but the scars of other times were still there. “He told me I couldn’t get tattoos, but he scarred me up.” You joked, feeling numb again. You pointed at the circular burn on your wrist. “I started smoking in secret because I wanted to lose my voice… I thought maybe it would hurt him as much as it hurt me. He told me he didn’t want a dirty smoker, and put it out on me when he caught me. He told me he’d do worse if he ever caught me smoking again—or if he ever smelled smoke in the house.”

You sighed in relief at finally telling someone. Alphys spoke now. “You never told anyone before?”

You shook your head. “Too ashamed.” You couldn’t look at them. “We’d been together for too long. I thought everyone would blame me or say I was lying… I couldn’t prove he was doing anything wrong until… but when it got that bad, I couldn’t because it would ruin his future.”

Undyne roared. “THAT BASTARD DOESN’T DESERVE A FUTURE!”

Alphys put a hand on Undyne’s tensed arm. “H-honey, calm down.”

“I HEARD YELLING. IS EVERYTHING OKAY, HUMAN?” Papyrus barged through the front door to see everyone standing around the box of hurtful memories.

You nodded. “Everything’s fine, Paps.” You assured him, but he didn’t look convinced. Innocent and naïve, but not stupid. He could feel the waves of wrath hurling off of Undyne and see Alphys trying to placate her. Undyne took deep breaths again and then turned back to Papyrus.

“You heard them, Papyrus. Everything is fine.” Her voice went into a growl as she continued. “And starting tomorrow, we’re going to do training so that everything will _always_ be fine.”

Your wrist was still visible, and Papyrus saw the markings. He squinted at you. He nodded, and his voice was soft. “Tomorrow.” He hesitated before continuing, “If you ever need someone to talk to…” His eyes were very sincere. “I promise I will listen.” You felt tears well up again. You didn’t want to tell him about this… you wanted to protect him from things like this. Weakly, though, you nodded, and found yourself wrapped in a bony embrace. “WELL, I NEED TO GET BACK TO WORK… BUT IF YOU NEED MY ASSISTANCE, CALL ME. I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL RUSH TO YOU IN YOUR TIME OF NEED!” He promised, and then turned to the others. “AS LEADER OF THE ROYAL GUARD, I MUST STAND WATCH FOR HUMANS!” You noticed there was something in his voice that sounded like worry. “AS A FRIEND AND FORMER LEADER OF THE ROYAL GUARD, WOULD YOU STAND WATCH HERE?”

Undyne smiled. “Actually, I think we’re gonna head over to your house and borrow your TV.” She nodded to the DVD you still clutched to you with one arm.

You looked at Papyrus hopefully, and he nodded enthusiastically. Alphys slyly remarked, “M-maybe Sans would like to watch the movie too. If h-he’s home?” You looked at Undyne who grinned at you darkly.

Of all times, this was not—

Papyrus thought for a moment. “HE’S PROBABLY NOT AWAKE YET.”

Undyne, still drowning in angry tension, flexed her arms. “I’ll take his door down if I have to! He’s watching this frickin’ movie!” Alphys tried to soothe Undyne by rubbing her arm, but she roared again and picked her up with one arm. “Let’s go, nerds!”

Alphys looked at the box and the soaked coat. You moved to pick the box up, but the scent got to you again, and you just stepped back away. You told them you’d catch up after you got changed. Papyrus looked at the box and then at you. “IS THE BOX TOO HEAVY?”

You smiled reassuringly at him. “No.” Not physically.

He looked at the movie in your arms. “THAT LOOKS LIKE A HORROR MOVIE.”

You laughed. “Yeah, I don’t think you’d like it.” You must say anything possible to make sure his innocence isn’t tainted by it. Too much cursing, too much violence… and that was only the beginning.

He nodded. “THAT OTHER ONE LOOKS PLEASANT THOUGH.” He pointed to the concert DVD. You picked it up and hugged it to you with The Crow.

“We’ll have to watch it sometime.” You told him. “You might like it. Do you like music?” You recalled his reaction to Mettaton’s musical and smiled. “Well, this is different than Mettaton’s music. Very different.”

“GOOD DIFFERENT?”

You nodded happily. “In my opinion, yes.”

“AFTER WORK, THEN, I WILL MAKE SPAGHETTI AND WE SHALL ALL WATCH THIS MUSICAL!”

You went to correct him that it was a concert and not a musical, but he had already hurried out the door back to his post.

You sighed and went to your room, bundling yourself up in layers upon layers of clothes, and putting on those awesome fuzzy platformers, realizing that they weren’t nearly as ungainly as you'd feared. You felt tall and imposing as you stared into the mirror. You put on a beanie and your gloves, wrapped your scarf around your face, and went outside before you could get too stifled in the house.

 

Undyne had opened the door for you, since your gloved hands couldn’t grasp the knob, and you had almost fallen over the threshold. You stripped the excess layers off and fell over on the floor for real, exhausted from the walk even more than you normally were because you couldn’t breathe as deeply as normal.

Definitely would take some getting used to. You felt like you needed a break. You looked up at Undyne and asked her if she’d help you get to the bathroom. She led you upstairs, and you leaned heavily on the banister to keep from falling backwards—or forwards, for that matter. Your chest felt painfully tight, and you were hoping that you hadn’t pushed yourself too hard.

You asked Undyne if she had something loose-fitting that you could wear, since you were taking the binder off and hadn’t thought to wear another shirt over it since it was essentially just a very tight-fitting tank top. She gave you a look and then shook her head. “But I know where to find something.”

“For god’s sake, please, no.” You groaned before she ran to Sans’s door and pounded on it hard enough it was a wonder the wood didn’t splinter.

“SANS!” She bellowed, then turned to you with a mischievous and low laugh. “Lend me one of your shirts for the human!”

“Undyne!” You hissed.

He opened the door and glared through at Undyne, then past her to look at you. You weren’t sure if you were lightheaded from blushing or from lack of oxygen, but…

Undyne stuck her foot in the crack of the door. “Also, you’re watching that movie.” Her voice was full of unspoken threats if he refused.

He didn’t look at you, he just sighed and turned back around to rummage through things. He pressed a t-shirt through the doorway. When Undyne refused to move her foot, he sighed again and opened the door wider. Undyne moved so he could exit his room as she turned the shirt around to make sure it would work.

“I’m impressed, Sans. It’s actually clean.” She said when he closed the door behind him and slogged toward the stairs.

You took it from Undyne with one hand, rubbing your miserable face with the other. You almost missed Sans’s reply, “this is gonna suck, i can feel it in my **bones**.”

Before he’d said that, you were going to tell him he didn’t have to watch the movie. Now, though, you were determined to make him watch the damn thing. He’d take that back! You remembered a particular scene of the movie and smiled. “ **Tibia** honest, I think you’ll like this movie.” You said smugly. You went into the bathroom and changed quickly, experimentally breathing deeply to see if it hurt too much.

Undyne knocked on the door. “Hey, punk, you okay in there? Sans went to Grillby’s to get lunch, you gonna be out before it gets cold?”

“Yeah, I’m good. Just remembering how to breathe.” You told her, opening the door. She looked at you in disgruntled confusion. You held the folded binder under your arm and stepped out. Your tall fish friend shook her head. “Well, let’s watch this. So… is it some crappy, sappy shit, or…?”

You laughed. “Not at all. It’s action and revenge and…” You cut yourself off. “Please don’t encourage me to ruin it for you.”

She chuckled and smacked you on the back. It popped and you let out a grunt. She looked upset. “Are you okay? Did I just break you?”

“No, no. It happens. Here, listen.” You smiled and twisted your neck until you heard a cacophony of pops and snaps. You turned your head the other way and a matching chorus made her shudder.

“That doesn’t hurt?”

“Not really. If I do it too often it does, but if my neck hurts from sleeping wrong, it feels pretty good.”

 

* * *

 

 Sans had heard your neck crackle from his seat on the couch and he stared up at you with hollow black sockets. “wat.” It was all he could muster. Alphys came in carrying a small box that, from the rattling within, must contain glass bottles. She set them down on the kitchen table next to the bags full of food from Grillby’s. You and Undyne walked downstairs, and Sans tried not to look at them. It wasn’t that the noise had bothered him, no it frightened him.

Yes, he knew that humans had skeletal structures inside of them. Sans knew from the science books Alphys had found in the dump that human skeletons were different from himself and Papyrus. He knew that their consistency was different—they were made from completely different things. Well, to be fair, human skeletons and Papyrus were made from different things. He wasn’t too sure about his own makeup anymore. He supposed it explained why he wasn’t nearly as impervious to damage as his brother.

But that noise, ugh! That was a noise that he’d never heard come from anything good. It was the look on your face as you popped your neck that irked him most, though. He remembered that comic book from the previous night and recalled why he didn’t want to look at you. Why had he been curious? Why had that been necessary to see?

Alphys waved her hand in front of Sans’s face and he realized he’d been zoned out. He tried to play it off like he’d been sleeping, but he heard Undyne’s laugh and realized something was going on, and he was the butt of a joke he didn’t know. Alphys smiled apologetically at him, and he looked up at the burly blue monster who appeared positively victorious.

“You’re bluer than me!” She crowed.

Aw, hell. He groaned and glared up at her, and then at you. You smiled at him, too, but in a less malicious way. That aggravated Sans even more.

Undyne grabbed your shoulders and thrust you forward. “Do it again! Do it again!” She bellowed.

You looked unsure, glancing back at Undyne only to look back at Sans sheepishly. Sans willed himself to not react as you twisted your neck again—but nothing happened.

“Oops, Undyne, I guess I’m all out of air in my joints.” You said, but the look you gave Sans told him that you hadn't really tried.

“Come on, there must be more somewhere! What else can you snap?”

“shit, undyne!” Sans sputtered and drew back.

You looked very uncomfortable. “Can we just watch the movie before Paps gets home? It’s not a movie he should watch.”

The others glanced at each other, and Sans studied your soul for a moment for ill intentions, finding nothing obvious. You blushed as he stared at you, and he realized his glare could be misconstrued as staring at your chest. He looked away again, humiliated even further. Undyne threw you on the couch next to him, and he scowled at her with such malice that his eye faintly glowed. You cowered on your side of the couch, fearing that this had been a wretched idea.

Alphys put the movie in while Undyne handed out food and ramune. Sans produced another bottle of ketchup, and took a swig. Even though you’d seen him do it before, it struck you funny for reasons you couldn’t really explain. You wanted to make a joke, but before you could, Undyne pulled Alphys into her lap and Sans turned off the lights with his magic as the movie began.

You had forgotten just how much you loved this movie. The score, so familiar, tugged at you. Sans listened to the movie, but watched your face from his peripherals. Your soul was acting weird. He heard the opening words in the voice of a kid.

“People once believed that when someone dies… a crow carries their soul to the land of the dead. But sometimes, something so bad happens… that a terrible sadness is carried with it and the soul can’t rest. Then sometimes, just sometimes… the crow can bring that soul back to put the wrong things right.” A chill ran down Sans’s back. He looked at the screen and saw humans, and blood. He had seen human movies before in other timelines, but he immediately understood what you had meant. Papyrus wouldn’t…

Sans watched helplessly as the movie played through a scenario he still remembered living in his nightmares. He watched as Undyne held Alphys close. As the Crow took vengeance on the people who murdered him and his fiancé, Undyne remarked once that, even though she’d never been in his situation, she felt she would do the same thing. Sans clutched the arm of the sofa, remembering all the times he’d taken his own vengeance…

Alphys asked at one point if the Crow represented human Determination, but you didn’t know how to answer. You said that humans didn’t really use that term. Sans looked over at you during the violent scenes to gauge your reaction. There was a glow in your eyes, but the harder he looked, the more he realized it wasn’t from want to enact it. He couldn’t help but mutter in your direction. “how many times have you seen this movie, anyway?”

You smiled back at him, and it caught him off guard. “Way too many.” At one point, you leaned over and tapped his arm and gestured to the screen with a huge grin.

The avenger [joked](https://youtu.be/cXbzJ7xAVn4) to his prey, “Jesus Christ walks into a hotel….. he hands the innkeeper three nails and he asks…. Can you put me up for the night?”

Sans wasn’t sure whether to laugh or flinch. Memories continued to surge through him and he began thinking of excuses to go upstairs. This was too much. He looked back at your expectant face, saw that you looked worried. “Sans… are you okay?”

You had been as quiet as you could, but Alphys and Undyne turned around to see what was going on. He couldn’t speak for a moment, all eyes on him. The movie continued on, and he zoned out, sockets black and empty. “i uh… just didn’t find this **humerus**.” He remarked under his breath.

Alphys glanced at the TV and paused the movie. You had moved closer to Sans, and he looked up at you, panicked. Undyne appeared tense, but turned away, as if the situation would improve if she didn’t contribute to the heaviness. Your voice was quiet. “Is something wrong?”

Alphys wrung her hands. “W-well… humans are kind of like to us a-as monsters are to humans...” Undyne sighed but didn't refute the statement. Sans continued to stare ahead with empty sockets.

“The movie… is scaring you? But he’s the good guy!”

Sans looked up at you then. “i get it. i get it…” He stood up. “but to us, we see a literal nightmare.”

Undyne looked up at you and then at Sans. “This isn’t real, right?” She asked hopefully. “This doesn’t actually happen up there, does it?”

“Depends on what you’re talking about. People coming back to life, being invincible—that doesn’t happen. The rest of it…” Undyne paled a bit. “It happens a lot more than you’d think. That’s why I lived so close to the mountain. Less… large-scale violence.”

Her gaze hardened. “Are humans all evil?”

“No.” You looked at your own hands. “At least, I don’t think so.” You smiled up at her uneasily. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to stress anyone out with the movie…” Everyone was staring at you now, and Sans’s pinpricks were back, focused on your chest, most probably studying your soul. You got up and moved around everyone, putting your coat, gloves, hat, and scarf back on. “Maybe we can find some better things to watch eventually… I should get home.”

Sans appeared next to you. “no. we’re not upset with you.” He said as the others exchanged glances.

You smiled weakly down at him, as with the platform boots on you were about an inch taller than him. “Don’t worry, it’s…” To your horror, tears stung at you, and you cleared your throat and bit back the urge to cry. “It’s no big deal. I promise. I’ll see you guys later.”

Before anyone else could object, you opened the door and headed out. The cold was unbearable even with the extra layers, and you stumbled your way through the fresh snow.

Sans looked at Undyne and Alphys, who gave him an expectant look. “what do you guys expect me to do?” He asked menacingly, before looking at the door.

Undyne was uncharacteristically quiet, pulling Alphys into a hug. Alphys stared Sans in the eyes and her mouth set in a hard line.

Sans sighed and teleported outside, still not wearing shoes or his jacket. He’d be back soon enough, he figured, and the cold went right through him anyway. He figured you were going home, but it would defeat the point to just teleport to your house and wait for you there. He followed your footsteps, teleporting a few meters at a time, attempting to catch up to you.

 

* * *

 

You realized that you left your binder, but figured you could ask Undyne to bring it by on her way over in the morning. You stopped for a while, looking into the dark forest, and recalled all the times you’d climb trees as a kid. You flexed your fingers in the gloves and decided that now wasn’t the time. It was too cold, and you really didn’t feel like falling to your death today. Regardless, you left the path toward the trees and found a sturdy specimen with branches that hung low enough for you to grab on.

You weren’t sure why, but the idea of getting to the top of the tree filled you with DETERMINATION.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, somewhat of a cliffhanger... I'm sorry...  
> I will do my best to keep chapters coming out regularly. I will not abandon my fic or the fandom, I am... just working... a lot...  
> But what is going on with the trees? Why the trees? Where are we going here? I never planned this?  
> Find out soooon!  
> ~Z


	7. Asgore Sucks at Naming Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Undyne and Alphys sure are getting a kick out of shipping you and Sans.  
> Toriel puts in an inquiry about human holidays and traditions...  
> A monster holiday looms in the very near future. What fun will this bring?  
> (A tiny bit of angst, followed by a deal of fluff. Next chapter should be fluffy, too.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, if anyone wants alcohol poisoning, take a shot for each thing Asgore obviously named. And a shot for each tree pun. I'm sorry.
> 
> And thank you guys so much for your support. It really brightens my week to see that people are enjoying this!
> 
> (Song reader sings in the tree is called Waiting by Not Forgotten. I do not own it, and have no rights to it. It's just a nice song.)

Just like the movie, the concert, the cooking… Climbing trees was something that harked back to older, more innocent times for you. You hadn’t been fond of the cold—but right now, you wanted to cling to something harmless, something solid. You wanted to feel the scrape of the bark under your fingers. You took your gloves off, and the biting cold nearly made you put them back on.

You inhaled the scent of the trees, reached out and tugged at the low hanging branch above you. It held up to your experimental pressure, and so you began the feat of scaling it. You secretly thanked yourself for forgetting your binder at the skelebros’ house as your breathing became labored. You had forgotten how tiring it was to climb, especially when the cold air felt like daggers plunging down your throat.

You found a branch relatively high up and sat down on it when you were sure it would hold you. Your legs dangled, and you stared out at the rest of the barren forest. The snow had quit falling, to your relief. The air was quiet, clear… empty.

You touched your face with your scuffed hands, finding frigid tear-tracks. You still felt that numbness from before, but it had grown to encompass you. You couldn’t really even identify why you were crying. You felt the wind whip around you, and you put an arm around the trunk, even though you felt no danger of falling down.

Again, you were wondering how much friendliness you were wishing to see in everyone versus how much was actually there. There was a nagging voice in your head that reminded you that everyone you ever trusted had an agenda that you merely fit into, and when you were no longer relevant, you were cast aside, discarded, forgotten. Broken.

You had been growling low in your chest, and the noise finally snapped you from your reverie. The silence that ensued felt angry, felt malicious—and you felt the need, as usual, to break it so that it couldn’t break you. You began singing the first song that came to mind. Softly at first, and then, remembering just how empty and alone these trees were, you emboldened, and began to belt the[ song](https://youtu.be/wyQtB6cMaGs) out in a way you hadn’t in years.

“Open up my eyes… saving what’s been broken, wasting all this time! Now I know you’ll never see this side of you that I know. It’s been killing me far too long! It’s such a long way down from here.”

The air carried your emotions, screaming along with your voice, as if trying to lend to the song. “All this time I’ve waited never seemed to change your mind. I’m pleading, do not be afraid! Has all our time… been wasted…” You drifted off, unsure of whether to continue. Something about the silence beckoned you—and then you realized why. Footsteps. You could hear footsteps.

 

* * *

  

Sans had heard something, but was unsure what. Distorted as it was, he didn’t know where it came from. The wind was playing tricks on him. He felt like he was hearing it through the veil of another timeline, another world. After all this time trapped in this timeline, it made him feel…

The tracks in the snow stopped and turned to head into the forest. Sans stared at the trail for a moment, wondering if this were a joke. He followed the prints into the woods, noting when they stopped at a tree. He looked up, and saw you staring back down at him numbly, one arm around the trunk, the other resting on the branch, legs hanging over.

“hey, i uh, **wood** ’nt like to see you fall and get hurt. think i’d just… **pine** away at the thought.” You didn’t smile or answer. You looked like you wanted to say something, but Sans was too nervous to wait around. “c’mon, don’t just **leaf** me hanging, here.”

An idea occurred to him and he jolted. If they died by falling, would everything reset? Would it overwrite Frisk? What would happen? That empty stare reminded him of Frisk’s, and all the times they, covered in dust, had trudged onward with that damn knife… You saw his sockets go black as he stared up at you. “ **d o n ’ t  y o u  d a r e  j u m p**.” He growled it, and you shuddered. When you reacted, he looked startled, and the lights flickered back, staring up at you. His tone gentled, and he pleaded with you. “please, just… can i help you down?”

You wanted to tell him you could get down yourself, but staring down at him, you couldn’t manage the words. That haunted look, empty and… malevolent… even though it had only been a fleeting expression, you were frozen in more than just the obvious way. He must have sensed your fears, as he sighed and looked away. “let’s get to the **root** of the problem here. i’m not gonna hurt you… my **bark** is worse than my bite.” He glanced up at you, hopeful for a reaction, any reaction.

You managed to open your mouth. “Thought I’d just **branch** out, y’know.” You were quiet enough you weren’t sure he’d heard, but…

He brightened. “ **yew** should let me help you down. i’m kinda **stumped** how you even got up there.”

Had you any feeling in your numb face, you would have felt your mouth twitch into a grin. “I went out on a **limb**.” You explained, but your face soured as you flexed your fingers. “Normally, I’d say I can get down myself… **needle** ss to say, I might actually need the help. I **willow** you one for sure.”

“ **oak** ay, in all seriousness, **wood** you trust me to get you down here by using my magic?”

You flinched. “You’re going to expose my soul?”

“if i **maple** it out, i can get you down here quickly and safely.”

“I didn’t know you could move my body as well as my soul with your magic.” His eyes glowed up at you, and you noted he was wringing his hands. “Hey, are you cold?”

“if i lie and say yes, can you please just let me get you down so you can get warm?”

“You’re worried about me? Why?”

He sighed. “no need to get **sappy** on me. now… let’s get you down from there before you catch pneumonia.”

You noticed he hadn’t answered you, just diverted your attention. “Okay, fine then. Get me down.”

You felt the gentle tug on your soul, but it didn’t feel as uncomfortable as it had before. Perhaps they had been right when they said you got used to it. You looked at your muddy soul, and gripped onto the trunk of the tree as a bout of dizziness gripped you. Sans called out to you as you almost fell, legs flailing. Your weight moving around coupled with the sudden winds made the branch unstable, and a creaking noise made you whine. You couldn’t hold onto the trunk hard enough to support your weight, you realized.

The branch fell away, and you descended a foot, but you saw Sans reach out, your soul turned cobalt blue, and you halted in the air. He was sweating, though whether it was from effort or from realizing that he almost didn’t catch you, neither of you were sure. Sans dodged the branch as it hit the ground where he’d stood and he looked up at you again and sighed in relief. You felt yourself sliding down, and you withdrew your arms from around the tree to avoid splinters and make it easier to descend.

Your feet touched down, and you stared at him as he let go of your soul and pushed it back into your body. You almost fell, but he put an arm around your waist and hoisted you back up. Your arm went over his shoulder, and he held on to you. You realized as the two of you began walking that he was barefoot.

“Hey, does that bother you?” You asked.

“nah. let’s take a shortcut.”

You nodded, and before you even cleared the forest, you were staring at the door to the ruins—your home. You sighed in relief and reached for it, but didn’t have the strength to move the doors. Sans used his magic again, and they flew open effortlessly and he nearly hauled you in. The doors closed behind you, leaving the two of you almost entirely in the dark save for his fading blue eye.

You became aware that his arm was still tight around your waist. You pulled away and tried your best to tug your boots off. He waited patiently before following you further into the house. He looked around and politely remarked on how it didn’t look like a mortuary anymore. The thought made you shudder.

“you gonna be okay?”

“Yeah. I think I need a shower and some sleep.”

He nodded. “well…” He couldn’t look your way as you shrugged off the jacket. You assumed it was for the same reason Papyrus had freaked out that morning. You felt like grumbling, but couldn’t bring yourself to voice your frustration. “i guess i’m heading out.” He muttered and disappeared again.

You huffed and headed for the bathroom. “Bye to you, too, then.”

 

The next morning you awoke to a text from Alphys. For some reason, this reminded you of the box of memories that had been left in the living room floor, and you flinched. You opened the text to see an invitation back to the lab for a simple task: holiday mapping. You called and asked what she meant exactly, and she explained that monster and human societies had been separate for a good deal of centuries. She said she was almost sure that there were holidays that she wasn’t aware of. Toriel had brought the matter to her attention, and Alphys admitted she was very curious as well. She assured you that she would do her best to explain monster holidays and traditions in return.

You agreed you’d be there soon, and asked her how the previous research had fared. She went immediately silent and then stammered that Toriel had read a couple of lines and handed it back to her and asked for this instead.

You chuckled into your fist. “Well, don’t get discouraged, Alphys. I’m sure the information will be useful eventually.”

Alphys made a distressed noise and you could swear you heard some variant of “gods, I hope not.”

You also reminded her that you had left your binder at the skelebros’ house, and Alphys said that Undyne would probably be by with it shortly. As if on cue, you heard the door to the rest of the Underground slam. “That’s probably her now.” You told Alphys who asked what the crashing noise was. You hung up and hurriedly got dressed before Undyne could stomp her way to your bedroom. You didn’t fear her barging in on you, but you wanted to avoid making her wait.

“Where you at, dork?” She yelled and barged into your bathroom. You smiled to yourself and put yourself in an area that wasn’t immediately visible in case she decided to barrel her way in.

“I’m getting ready, Undyne!” You called out, and you heard a relieved sigh.

“You really had us worried last night, punk!” She bellowed at your closed bedroom door. “I have half a mind to come in there and kick your ass!”

“Well, can it wait until after your shift? I’ve gotta be at the lab soon, sooo…”

“Hurry up and get dressed so I can talk to you.” She said, and her tone piqued your interest.

You pulled your black cargo pants on and opened the door. Undyne stared deadpan at you. “Go on.” You prodded her, and you both stepped out into the living room. You made a point not to look at the box and the very probably ruined 800 dollar coat in it.

“So tell me what happened last night. I couldn’t get Sans to say a word. He just said you were safe in your house, everything fine, and then went to his room and wouldn’t answer his door for anyone. Did something happen?”

You ignored the mischievous look she gave you. “I climbed a tree, almost fell out of it, and he walked me home. Well, mostly he dragged me. I couldn’t move very well because I was cold…”

“Really? That’s it? Wait, why did you climb a tree, anyway?”

“I just like climbing trees.” You said defensively. “Just not usually in the snow.”

“You sure nothing else happened? When I asked him for details he turned blue and escaped!”

You stared at her. “Nothing happened that would warrant that kind of reaction.”

Undyne thought for a moment. A look of realization flickered on her face and she tugged the hem of your shirt up a bit. She poked you roughly in the hip-bone and guffawed, then poked you in the ribs and laughed even harder. You stared at her as she wiped tears from her eyes. “Oh, god wait until Alphys hears about this one!”

“Am I missing something?” Undyne shrugged, still laughing. She handed you your binder, and you snatched it from her. “I have to go. Have fun.” You said, a bit irked. You didn’t like being the butt of a joke, especially if you didn’t understand what about you was so funny. You put on the combat boots, tucking your cargo pants into the tops so the snow wouldn’t get into your boots or wet the hems. You pulled on the plush jacket that Catty had given you and wondered if someone could tell you where to find the friendly cat-monster. You resolved to ask Alphys when you got to the lab, and set off, hiking through the snow as quickly as you could. Today, you didn’t feel like taking the scenic route, so you chanced the River Person and their cryptic bullshit.

You were a bit disappointed that the only thing the River Person told you was that there was a village of Tems(?) and while you were tempted to believe they were being cryptic again and speaking in riddles, you remembered hearing something in passing about a creature called Temmie. You shrugged the message off and headed to the lab, untucking your pant legs and carrying the jacket draped over one shoulder.

With relief, you stepped into the lab to see Alphys at her computer, her fingers a blur over the keys. She looked like she hadn’t slept.

“What’s up, Alphys?” You asked, concerned.

“Oh, I’m writing….” She looked up at you sheepishly. “Ouran High School Host Club fanfic.”

“You… watched it all last night, didn’t you?”

She nodded wearily. “Undyne and I w-watched it t-together. She fell asleep half-way through. I k-kinda couldn’t stop watching it though.”

You nodded. “I understand, I guess. I read the majority of the manga online in a few days.”

“H-humans have manga online?!” She waved her arms around excitedly.

“That’s right, you guys can’t access human networks, can you?”

She shook her head. “I w-wish we could.”

You smiled encouragingly at her. “Don’t worry about it. Maybe one day we can figure out how to trick the barrier. Let’s just keep working on it, okay?”

Did you imagine it, or did Alphys have a flutter of guilt cross her expression? “Y-yes, you’re right! By the way, who was your f-favorite character in the anime?” You thought for a moment but she went on before you could answer. “I-liked-Mori-best-because-he-is-so-much-like-Undyne-but-I-also-liked-Hani-because-he-was-so-cute-and”

“Alphys, slow down!” You chuckled. “We have forever to talk about anime, okay? Breathe!”

She blushed and then nodded sharply once. “W-we need to get down to business, anyway.” She admitted and headed for an escalator, gesturing for you to follow her. You looked beyond her desk to the door to the rest of the lab, but followed her. Something told you that she would be upset if you even asked why today would be spent in this part of the building.

“Is Sans not part of today?” You inquired, merely curious. She gave you a look that said she’d already spoken on the phone with Undyne about whatever this morning’s joke had been. “Never mind then.”

“Well, it would require him g-getting over here, and he w-wouldn’t really be needed. I know about the same amount about m-monster customs and he can just read my n-notes later if he wants to. Not that he _will_ ,” She said bitterly, “but if he feels up t-to the h-hassle of existing, he _might_ read them.”

“I saw him reading your other reports. I know he’s lazy, but—“

“Of course he read _that_. He knew nothing about the subject matter and it a-apparently interested him.” Something about that struck you odd. You stared at her until she realized what she’d said and blushed. She sputtered, “Let’s get s-started?”

You decided to let it go. “Yeah.” If you just didn’t prod, you felt she’d eventually just tell you. Then again, what had Undyne said? Alphys kept secrets pretty well, even from Undyne. Something didn’t fit, though. Undyne had mentioned that no one was allowed in a good portion of the lab, and she wouldn’t explain why. So then, why did Alphys not escort Sans around? You supposed he was too lazy to explore overmuch, but… what if whatever this dark secret was, he was in on it?

You were snapped to the present moment when Alphys called your name. You jumped and smiled down at her. She gestured to a seat and you took it. She began writing things down already, and then began asking you about human holidays and what they represented, what traditions birthed them, and so on.

Alphys had known about Valentine’s day, more or less, since it was an anime trope. She was disappointed that you didn’t have much information about it, but let you move on without guilting you too much about your limited knowledge of your own species’ history.

You explained New Years, Christmas, and Easter. She listened to your history lesson and jotted notes at such a speed you wondered if her wrist would cramp. You moved on to your personal favorite, Halloween. You told her everything you could remember about it, but stopped short when you realized you had just told her that humans—particularly children—dressed up as monsters and other feared entities in an attempt to ward them off. You looked at her guiltily, but she only studied her notes raptly before prompting you to continue. You asked her if she was upset at all. She looked confused.

“W-well, psychologically it would make sense.” She said. “Not only that they f-fear us, but that it was a t-tradition meant to continue to uphold the Barrier, I suppose. It could have started out as a ritual to strengthen the Barrier.”

“You don’t… think less of me for celebrating it?”

She laughed. “Of course not! I think humans are more destructive toward each other on that day than toward us, anyway, if that movie last night was any indication.”

“You finished watching it, then?” You asked, remembering that The Crow took place on Halloween.

“Undyne and I d-did, before Papyrus got home. We came back here and watched Ouran to wind down.”

Guilt washed over you. So it had been frightening, after all. She got up and went down to her fridge, coming back up with ramune, offering it to you with a smile. “Don’t b-be upset. It had a good ending, at least.”

You smiled, but still felt like a total ass for showing them something so full of human darkness. You cracked open the bottle. “Well, at least I know now that roughly 90% of human movies are not acceptable to show you guys… I’m sorry.”

She giggled nervously. “That many?”

“There are anime that are that dark, too.” You admitted. “I guess humans really are depraved and desensitized to death and violence.”

She nodded. “Now, about H-Halloween. You said that it is d-during the autumnal equinox, right?” She waited for you to agree. “That’s weird. That is actually roughly the time Gerson said we were p-put Underground. So it might be true that that’s w-where it originated.” She looked at her notes thoughtfully. “Then again, Gerson f-forgets things a lot. If only Asgore were still here… I could ask him. Who else was alive at the time…” She wrote something down hurriedly. “Okay, n-now that that’s settled, let’s talk more about the actual f-festivities.” She turned back to you.

“Well, we make or buy costumes, put them on and go door to door to get treats. Well, that’s what kids do. Adults usually dress up in… skimpier costumes, and go to parties, get drunk as hell, and do things they’ll regret.” You smiled. “And then the next day, all the stores sell candy at half price. Since I skipped most of the events, I could enjoy all the cheap candy I could buy.”

“W-what other things g-go on?”

“As far as I know that’s about it, unless we want to get back on the subject of humans being terrible.” You admitted.

She shook her head. “If I gave you a monster calendar, do you think you could approximate where each of these holidays go?”

You shrugged. “I can try. Some of them don’t make any sense.” Alphys handed you a calendar and went to work on her fanfic in an attempt to stay awake. You stared at the names of the months. First Month, Second Month, and so on. Well, you supposed it could be much worse. They could have been names you’d never recognize nor remember. You matched the holidays to the months to the best of your memory.

When you were done you called for Alphys, who even more sluggishly rode the escalator back up to you, took the calendar, studied it with bleary eyes, and then sat down next to you and began pointing at dates that had already been marked. “W-we have a few holidays. One I’m sure you must have n-noticed in Snowdin sounds exactly like Christmas. W-we even p-prepare for Santa, like you said humans do.” She remarked. “When I f-first found out about Valentine’s Day, I petitioned Asgore to make it a monster holiday as well.” Her eyes watered at the memory, and she scrubbed at them. She had been awake for way too long; her emotions were definitely out of whack.

“So… he agreed quickly enough. Sent a huge bunch of flowers out to the ruins—I didn’t know at the time why… But he asked if we could call it something else. Since that was the only stipulation he’d asked, I agreed, but… I forgot how terrible he was at naming things.” She smiled wistfully. “So it’s called Love Day, here.” she smiled. “And we celebrate it during Sixth Month.”

You laughed lightly. “Well, humans celebrate it during Feb—I mean, Second Month.”

She was so tired she didn’t question your slip up. You made a mental note to tell her later, if she was curious. She cleared her throat and pointed at another date on another page. “This is…” Her eyes drooped closed.

“Alphys.”

“Huh?!” She jolted awake.

“Get some sleep. You can explain later, or I can bring Toriel your notes and she can tell me.” She nodded sleepily and handed you the notes. She started to walk back down to her computer but you grabbed her arm. She looked back up at you sheepishly. You couldn’t help but smile. “The fanfic can wait until morning. Get some sleep, or I call Undyne.”

She gasped. “You wouldn’t!” it was a cry of betrayal.

“And you and Undyne wouldn't laugh about me behind my back!” You shot back.

Alphys looked flustered, like she was about to cry. You hurry to reassure her. “I’ll pester you about it later. Get some good rest, okay? If I come back here tomorrow and you’re still running low, I’ll….” You thought of something harsh enough. “I won’t tell you about….” You strained to think of something, anything, fascinating. “Haunted Houses.”

She had barely enough energy to look at you funny. “Like with ghosts? Do humans have ghosts?”

That’s right, you remembered. Mettaton is a ghost.

“Yeah, we do, but I won’t tell you anything about it unless you sleep!”

She huffed and made her way to a huge cube, hit a button on a remote and it unfolded into a roughly queen-sized bed. She fell over onto it, face-first, and began snoring almost immediately. You let yourself out and headed toward Toriel’s. On your way, you called to warn her you’d be coming by. She was overjoyed at the idea, and became ecstatic when you told her you were bringing Alphys’s requested data on human traditional holidays. She said she would get started on making a pie for you both to share while you discussed the holidays. Your stomach growled, and you remembered you hadn’t eaten yet today.

When you knocked on Toriel’s door, you were greeted with encouragement to come inside, so you slipped in only to be bowled over by the delicious, heady, and warm aroma of cinnamon and something sweeter. It reminded you of candies. Your mouth watered, and you stepped into the monochromatic living room. “Have a seat, my dear.” Toriel came out of the kitchen. “We have a few moments before the pie is ready, and then a few more before it’s cool enough to eat.” She looked troubled. “It is okay, isn’t it? You enjoy cinnamon and butterscotch?” Butterscotch, _that’s_ what it is, you realized. You nodded and sat down on the couch. She sat across from you in her own chair and smiled back at you. “So, how is Alphys? She seems troubled. I hope I haven’t pushed her too hard…”

“She’s getting some much-needed rest.” You said. “Maybe if we can figure out these holidays, we can all take a week off, or something, and celebrate together? I’m sure it would help everyone’s nerves.”

“That sounds perfect. Now, speaking of holidays, may I take a peek at those notes?”

You nodded and handed them over. She thumbed through the calendar, looked at the respective descriptions of each holiday, and then put them aside and excused herself to check on the pie. You hummed nervously, but also in an effort to ignore the incessant growling of your stomach. She came back, and sat back down. She looked at you expectantly, and you realized she was waiting for you to talk.

“Oh, what?”

She giggled. “I am sorry. I thought you were going to ask about the dates on our calendar.”

“Oh, yeah! I was, I just…” You sighed. “I forgot to eat earlier, so I forgot where my mind was for a while.”

A sly smile crossed her face. “Don’t worry, I **goat** your back.” You stared at her stupidly for a moment before you cracked up. You had forgotten that she punned nearly as much as Sans. Your smile faltered a bit, and she noticed. “Is something wrong, my dear?” She leaned forward, eyes full of worry.

“No, no… I was just… thinking.” Surely it couldn’t hurt to ask her? “Actually, if you don’t mind, could I ask you about… Sans?”

She hitched an eyebrow, amusement touching her features. “If it’s what I think it is, the answer is no. We are not dating.”

You snickered. “That wasn’t it. Hell, that’s none of my business, anyway.” You thought for a moment. “Just like asking you about him isn’t really… fair. I guess if I want to know I should just ask him directly.”

“You say that like it would take a lot of courage. Do you like him?” Her kind curiosity took the edge away from your embarrassment.

“Not like that, no… I just don’t know much about him. I don’t understand anything about him. I think he hates me, then he goes out of his way to help me. He jokes around with me, but he’s the only monster who refuses to talk to me outside of work unless he’s forced to.”

She nodded sagely. “Perhaps we should think about it from his perspective as well?”

“Did I do something wrong?”

“No, no… Sans is… I suppose you could say ‘sensitive’… He won’t tell anyone what he’s thinking, and when he has to get serious about something, he either jokes it off or…” She sighed. “Talking to him about it is fruitless. I’ve tried, Papyrus has tried… The only one who knew more about him was Frisk—and I’m not sure if he said anything to them. He… was afraid of Frisk, by what I can gather. I don’t entirely understand why…” She shivered, and you wondered if she truly didn't understand. She looked into your eyes. “Sans is hiding something that he feels none of us can help him with. I don’t know if it’s because he thinks not telling us is just easier, or if he doesn’t want to burden us with things he doesn’t entirely understand himself… But I get the feeling that if he is treating you oddly, you should not take it to heart. Perhaps, in you, he sees something of himself. Or, I could be wrong. He might fear you, like he feared Frisk…”

“Why do you think he feared Frisk? I thought everyone loved Frisk.”

“Sans knows things about human souls that we don’t. Rather than explain what he can see, he just tells us that humans, no matter how gentle, can do terrible things just because they want to. And yet, despite his fears, he was the one who grieved for Frisk the most. Perhaps he wants to distance himself from you so that, if you die or just leave somehow, it won’t affect him.” She got up and went to check on the pie, returning with two plates. “Now, then. Let’s talk about holidays, shall we?” You listened as she explained monster holidays, and you smiled. You could always ask Sans later, you decided.

You made your own notes after you finished eating the (incredibly delicious and filling) pie.

 

* * *

 

  * Remembrance: Second Month. A day where everyone gathers to remember history, remember family and friends who were lost in some way or another. Everyone sends magic lights to the ceiling of the Underground—Toriel says that it’s supposed to represent the sky of the surface.


  * Dancing Day: Fourth Month. It’s literally April 1…. But for monsters. And it’s less about pranking and more about just everyone having fun. So… Everyone dances, makes costumes… and pass out candy?


  * Love Day: Sixth Month. Basically Valentine’s day, where you dote upon the monster you care for most. Confections, usually homemade, are traded, and flowers and small decorations are exchanged as well.


  * Soul Day: Eighth Month. A day spent with family, celebrating close bonds to each other, whether by birth or by choice. Celebrates couples, love, and peace.


  * Week of Exodus: Tenth Month. Monsters make heaps of food and spend an entire week out exploring the Underground. It’s more for kids, anymore, since adults don’t have much left to explore. A lot just do it out of tradition, but Toriel says it’s kind of upsetting for those who know why they actually celebrate it. Apparently, it was a way for them to make light of living in a constrained space, to see how far everything went, and if there were any overlooked ways of escaping.


  * Hope Day: Twelfth Month. Monsters gather to practice their magic together, to stay strong and hopeful, to stay Determined to get topside. Festivities are held in Waterfall. There is music, and food all around.



 

* * *

 

You look up at Toriel after you take the last notes. “So, you celebrate Halloween, kind of.”

She looked at Alphys’s notes for a moment, then smiled. “Dancing Day… I suppose so.”

“And it’s… next week.”

She thought for a moment. “Ah, it is!”

“Is it something that only monsters can celebrate? I mean, would it offend anyone if I took part? It sounds fun, and Halloween was always my favorite holiday…”

She tittered and waved your worries off. “Of course you’re welcome to celebrate! But that means you need to make a costume, doesn’t it?”

You thought for a moment. “Toriel, I know what I want to dress up as.” Her encouraging grin as you explained your costume filled you with DETERMINATION.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to make this chapter cover the holiday itself, as well, but it would have ended up being way too long... Ah *lamenting gesture* but that means I can move plot along (kind of) while everyone enjoys the monster Dancing Day!  
> I will try my best to draw reader with costume when I have a good idea what to do with them, and possibly post it later on.


	8. Shale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alphys, you sly reptile, you. It seems she made an Undernet phenomena of the little shipping game...  
> You and Sans team up to pay them back for it!  
> And stuff.
> 
> Edited: 4/16/16  
> Smoothing things out, as it were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAH, thank you everyone!  
> I have been working on a Cover Page, I guess you could say... but I can't upload it until I can use a scanner... It will show up eventually lol.

Toriel smiled at you. “I wish I could tell you that Muffet is the best person for the job… But I’m afraid you need something more than just fabric, don’t you?”

“I’ll definitely need some kind of prostheses. I wonder… maybe Alphys can help?”

She flinched. “That might not be the best idea, to even tell Alphys you are participating. Or anyone for that matter.” She suddenly looked like she regretted saying anything at all.

“Why?”

Hesitantly, she finally replied. “Well, it’s become something of an online phenomenon now…” She looked embarrassed. “Undyne and Alphys have personally set up an online fan club called the S.S. Skelehuman.”

You felt yourself turn scarlet. “I’m gonna kill them.” You muttered under your breath. “But that doesn’t explain why I can’t tell them.”

“Well… they might insist that you dress up like a skeleton, to… _aggravate_ the brothers.” She suggested.

‘Aggravate’ had definitely not been the first word she thought to use. “So… everyone in the Underground is part of this… fiasco?”

“Yes… Except for you and the brothers.” She reluctantly divulged.

“Is that why you thought I was asking if you were dating Sans? You think I’m actually interested in him?”

She laughed, and pulled you into a hug. “Don’t be silly, my dear. What I think about it is irrelevant. However, I wouldn’t be surprised if either of them had a soft spot for you.” After a moment, she added very quietly, “Especially after what I read yesterday…”

“Toriel, what did you read?” You asked, pulling away from the hug to look her in the eyes.

She blushed and waved goodbye to you. “Do tell me how the costume goes.” And she gently shoved you out the front door.

“Dammit, Toriel! I don’t like secrets!” You cried out. The door muffled her laughter. Frustrated, you began walking toward home again, pulling out your phone. Perhaps you could access this nonsense and see what you were dealing with.

Alphys had blocked your particular phone from accessing that particular website. You screamed from frustration. You assumed she had also managed to do the same to both Papyrus’s and Sans’s cells. That left you little choice but to steal someone else’s phone…

You knew someone who was sleeping like the dead.

You’d never smiled this maliciously, or as wide for that matter. You change direction and head for the lab. You got into the darkened lab, made your way stealthily over to Alphys, and carefully checked her lab coat for her phone. Your phone began to chime noisily, and you cursed and tried to make it shut up. Alphys stirred and then shot awake as if the world were ending. The phone finally quieted, but the damage had been done. You checked the caller id and saw that it had been Papyrus. You’d have to call him back.

Alphys looked up at you. “Whaa?”

“Go back to sleep, Alphys.” You said, sighing in frustration. You grabbed a blanket and covered her up. “I came back to check on you.” You lied, and felt kind of terrible for it.

You left no less enlightened than when you’d arrived. The River Person loomed ahead in your path, and you were trying to convince yourself that you could take the scenic route, instead… you were wondering who’s phone you could easily capture. Perhaps Undyne’s? You didn’t listen to a word the River Person said, and hiked through Snowdin toward the ruins. You heard something behind you, and turned.

“HUMAN! WAIT!” Papyrus jogged to catch up to you. “YOU DIDN’T STAY FOR DINNER YESTERDAY!” He sounded so disappointed, and fidgeted with his gloves. “IS SOMETHING WRONG?”

“No, no.” You felt even worse than before. “I’m sorry… I wasn’t trying to avoid you. I meant to call you right back. I’ve just got a lot on my mind.”

“WHEN I GOT HOME, EVERYONE SAID YOU HAD ALREADY LEFT! WHERE WERE YOU IF YOU WERE NOT HOME?”

You wondered if you should tell him you were up a tree, but decided not to worry him. “I went out for a walk. I must have just missed you… I’m sorry.” You apologized again.

He pulled you forward into a crushing hug. “I THOUGHT MY FEARS HAD COME TRUE IN THAT YOU FELT TOO AWKWARD TO TALK TO ME! I THOUGHT MY GREATNESS HAD FRIGHTENED YOU!”

You smiled up at him. “Hey, why don’t you walk with me, huh?”

“THE GREAT PAPYRUS WOULD BE DELIGHTED TO ACCOMPANY YOU HOME!”

You both trudged along, and he seemed content to take smaller steps to keep in stride with you. He looked tempted to pick you up, but you could tell he was enjoying the conversation enough that he wanted you both to take your time.

“WE STILL NEED TO WATCH THAT MUSICAL!”

“It’s not a musical, Paps. It’s a concert.”

“CONCERT?” He thought for a moment. “I THINK I SAW ONE OF THOSE ONCE…”

“This particular concert is special. It’s very informal, very somber…”

“THAT SOUNDS DEPRESSING.” Such honesty!

You flinched. “Well, I suppose I have weird taste in things.”

“NONSENSE! YOU ATE MY SPAGHETTI, YOU LIKE METTATON, YOU ENJOY CLEAN SPACES… AND YOU ALWAYS LOOK NICE.” The last bit he said without looking in your direction. You could tell that he was blushing furiously.

“Not as nice as the Great Papyrus.” You teased, and he sighed happily but didn’t reply. “So what are you going to do for Dancing Day?”

He nearly exploded with excitement beyond measure, “I’M GOING TO DRESS UP AS METTATON FROM THE FIRST PERFORMANCE HE DID IN HIS NEW BODY!”

You giggled. “That sounds fun.”

“SANS IS HELPING ME WITH THIS COSTUME, AS WELL.”

“As well?”

“HE HELPS ME WITH ALL MY COSTUMES. MY BATTLE ARMOR WAS MADE BY HIM YEARS AGO… IT STILL HOLDS UP!” He gestured to the outfit he wore.

You had to admit, you were impressed. “So there’s something he actually puts some **backbone** into?” You hadn’t even noticed that you had said it, but the heavy silence that ensued made you retrace your words.

Before you could apologize, he muttered, “That actually wasn’t too bad.”

“I figured you would be burnt out on **skelepuns**.”

He nodded. “I HONESTLY DON’T MIND THEM, ESPECIALLY IF IT MAKES MY BROTHER HAPPY… HOWEVER, THERE ARE TIMES WHEN HE JOKES AROUND WAY TOO MUCH… ALL THE TIME, ACTUALLY. IT’S SO HARD TO TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY, OR TO GET HIM TO ADMIT SOMETHING’S WRONG.”

The Ruins were ahead now, and he sighed dismally. You looked up at him. “Everything will get better, Papyrus. I promise.” He didn’t respond. “Between you, me, Undyne… everyone… we can help him through whatever this is.” You both stopped at the door. He finally met your eyes, and you realized he was on the verge of tears.

There was a heavy silence. “I hope you’re right.” He cleared his throat and took a deep breath. “AND WHEN WE GET TO THE SURFACE, WE WILL ALL DO SURFACE THINGS TOGETHER! IT WILL BE GREAT…” His face fell again. “I DON’T KNOW WHAT SURFACE THINGS WE WILL DO… OR WHEN WE WILL BE DOING THEM. EVERYONE SEEMS TO BELIEVE WE’RE STUCK DOWN HERE…”

“Everything will get better.” You reminded him. “We just have to take it one day at a time.”

He nodded. “SO WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH YOUR DAY?”

You thought for a second and another wide, malicious smile spread across your face. “Hey, is Sans at your house?”

“I DON’T THINK HE EVEN GOT UP TODAY.” Papyrus groused. “AT LEAST, HE DIDN’T LEAVE HIS ROOM THAT I’M AWARE.”

“Wow, he didn’t even go to Grillby’s?”

Papyrus shrugged. He looked in the direction of his home, and then back to you, a curious look on his face. “WHY DID YOU WANT TO KNOW?”

“Oh. I was wondering if he could help me with my costume. I don’t have his number, so I can’t just call him…”

Papyrus laughed and picked you up. “LET US GO AND TALK TO MY BROTHER! I’M SURE HE WILL BE DELIGHTED TO HELP YOU. HE LIKES BUILDING THINGS!” And without further questions, he sprinted back to Snowdin with you in his arms as if you weighed barely a pound.

Laughing to yourself, you couldn’t help but wonder why it didn’t feel uncomfortable. You knew he was indeed just made of bone—so why didn’t it feel like it? The most painful part of being carried was that his “battle armor” was definitely sturdy (you could say so because you kept accidentally head-butting it). Had Sans really made it?

You arrived at the skelebros’ house quickly enough. You wondered if Papyrus had some sort of shortcut like Sans, but dismissed the idea. Papyrus let you stand on your own and opened the door for you. He came in and called for Sans loudly. There was no reply.

“Did he go out?” You asked, and you heard something from Sans’s room. His door opened and he peered out at you.

“what’re you doing here?” He asked, his tone low, his eyes dim. Had he been asleep, at this hour?

“Hey! I, uh… wanted to ask for some help with something.”

Papyrus excused himself to the kitchen to start cooking lunch. Sans continued to stare at you. “why would i help you?”

You fidgeted. The confusion showed in your voice. “You don’t seem to mind helping me _sometimes_. Plus… I have some information you might be interested in.”

His eyes brightened the slightest, and he motioned you up the stairs. You were reluctant, not really sure if he was inviting you into his room or not. The idea made you nervous. Still, you trudged up the stairs and stood in front of the door.

“so you caught onto the game they’re playing? can you access it?” You shook your head. He cursed under his breath and you smirked at him. The expletive sounded odd coming from him, probably because he was dead serious. His face took on an annoyed expression, and you tried not to smile further. “both my and pap’s phones are blocked. and his computer. alphys was thorough. i can’t even hack through it.”

You wanted to ask how he figured it out, but since one of the conspirators lived under his roof, you decided it would just be insulting. Plus, he had obviously known about it longer than you. You felt a bit stupid only just now finding out about it. “so you said you had information for me.” He sighed. “how about this? if it’s news to me, i’ll help you. if not, then i’ll be nice and tell you what i know, but you’re on your own.”

“Promise?”

He flinched. “i don’t make promises. just believe me when i say i don’t back out of deals without a good reason.”

You nodded, a bit disappointed. “If it’s any consolation, one of the reasons I want your help was so I could scare the hell out of them.”

He looked intrigued, but shrugged and grinned down at you. “guess you’d better have some good information.”

“Well, apparently…”

“SANS, WHY DON’T WE ALL SIT AND WATCH THIS HUMAN CONCERT?”

Sans’s sockets went black. You turned and looked at Papyrus, who was in front of the couch holding the DVD of the concert. You must have left it here the other night. “Maybe in a few minutes, Paps.” You told him. “We need to talk about the costume, see if it’s something he can handle.”

Papyrus nodded thoughtfully. “YES, AND THEN WE SHOULD ALL WATCH THE CONCERT WHILE WE EAT SPAGHETTI!” His carefree smile tugged at your heartstrings. Ah, sweet, innocent Papyrus… he must never know that he is an undernet shipping sensation. Guilt tugged at you. Were you any better, with your plans to hook him up with his favorite celebrity?

You looked back at Sans, whose pinpricks of light had returned to his eyes. He stared at you before stepping to the side. “hurry up and get in here before i change my mind. i don’t want him hearing about this, either.” You nodded thanks, and once you were inside, you immediately tried to find an area of the room that was clean enough to stare at politely. “don’t worry about it. talk.”

You sputtered for a moment but then forced yourself to take a breath and collect your thoughts. “I talked to Toriel, and she told me that Undyne and Alphys made a website…” You felt your face heat. “Called S.S. Skelehuman.”

“yeah, knew that.”

“Apparently everyone in the Underground is part of it, other than the three of us.”

He nodded. “go on.”

“Toriel asked me not to talk to Alphys or Undyne about participating in Dancing Day. She said they might… try to get me to dress in such a way that would get you or Paps worked up.”

His face turned blue. “even tori is in on this…”

“Yes. However, I know how we can get back at everyone. Even Toriel. I told her what I wanted to dress up as, but I think I changed my mind. Papyrus bragged on your ability to fabricate costumes that hold up pretty well… And I figured you might want some friendly payback, as well.”

“what did they think would get us worked up?” He asked, catching you off guard.

“Oh, um… Toriel said they might try to make me look like a skeleton.”

He shook his head. “that wouldn’t do any good.” He looked disappointed.

“What were you expecting?” You couldn’t help but inquire.

Again, his face became blue, and he shook your question off. “that doesn’t matter.” The pinpricks of his eyes danced and grew. “ **patella** me what your plan is.”

You chuckled in delight and asked if he had any paper that you could draw on. You didn’t know how well you could draw what you wanted, but it would help to have some kind of visual as you explained it. He asked you to wait and not touch anything, and disappeared. You had a thought, and left his room and called to Papyrus.

“Hey, Paps, whatever you do, you can’t tell anyone about me dressing up for Dancing Day, okay? It’s a surprise. You could say that it’s a secret to everyone.”

“HOW EXCITING! SO I CAN’T TELL UNDYNE?”

“Don’t worry, Paps! Just… if she asks if I’m going to do anything, say I have plans already, or something. Just don’t say what those plans are!”

“THAT SOUNDS TIRING… BUT I WILL DO IT FOR YOU, HUMAN.”

You went back into Sans’s room, your face warmer than it had been. Sans stared at you and sighed, passing you a piece of paper and clearing space on his dresser for you to have a surface to write on. He gestured to it and you cautiously tip-toed that way, trying and failing to not step on anything on the floor. You nearly tripped over something despite your care.

You did your best to draw the creature in your mind. “I took some inspiration from D&D.” You admitted, and then remembered he probably didn’t know what you were talking about. “It’s … a game humans play, where we pretend to be in a world of magic and adventure…”

“i know a bit about it.” He admitted.

“How?” You were stunned.

“later. keep doodling, there.”

You sighed. “I was thinking hydraulic wings… but those would be obvious, wouldn’t they?” you thought aloud, while you sketched out a humanoid dragon creature with huge, intimidating wings.

“wow.” He chuckled.

“Rude.”

“i’d say I’m sorry, but I’d be tellin’ ya a **fibula**.”

You sighed. “I can’t help that I’m **drawn** more to singing than sketching.”

He chuckled and then pointed at the figure you sketched. “okay, so you want to be a winged dragon-monster. you realize they’ll expect you to fly, right?”

You rubbed your face in frustration. “That’s a good point.”

“i could always just throw you around with my magic. no one would notice, probably.” He shrugged. Details really didn’t matter to him. You wondered if details such as danger would matter.

It didn’t sound entirely safe, but the mental image made you laugh. “Okay, if we get that far, yes. It shouldn't be entirely necessary, unless I need to leave in a hurry or something to preserve my identity.”

“also, hydraulics are good and all… but, if you want to actually pass as a monster, you might need something that runs on magic rather than steam.”

“See, that’s a problem.”

“not really. i can make magic-powered wings… and it might even cover your human aura. the more monster-essence you have on you, the harder someone will have to look at you to see you are human.” He sawed at his brow-bone with his fingertips. “the biggest challenge will be getting others to believe there’s a monster they haven’t met yet.”

“Small world, huh?”

He nodded, and then glanced up at you. “grillbz can help. he’s a real geezer. an old **flame**. if we can get him to say you fought in the war with him or something, maybe…”

“Is this going to be too much work for you?” You teased.

He grinned dangerously and shook his head. “worth it.”

“What if Grillby is in on it?” You asked. “Toriel said _everyone_ was.”

His smile fell for a moment, but then it came back full-force. “don’t **sweat** it.”

“What, are you going to blackmail him?”

He shrugged. “so on to the next question… what to make it out of, and how to make it look convincing.” He paused and then continued. “you need to figure out a name and some history. we can go see grillbz tonight and talk it out with him.”

“He talks?”

“when he wants to, yeah. hard for humans to hear it.”

You nodded. “Okay, so… how _do_ we make it convincing?”

He shrugged and you growled in frustration. “well, i’ll start work on it after i finish papyrus’s costume, okay?”

“What about you?”

“i already have my costume.”

You hitched an eyebrow at him in disbelief, and he sighs in exasperation. “i’m too lazy to dig for it right now. let’s go check on pap before undyne gets back and catches you in my room.”

“That reminds me. Toriel commented that there was something interesting that she read last night. Any idea what it was?”

He shook his head and followed you out of his room, shutting the door behind him and locking it. You headed downstairs in time to see Papyrus staring into the pot of sauce sternly.

“A watched pot never boils, Paps.” You tell him. “Time will go by faster if you don’t just stare at it.”

He sighed and turned to you. “I AM FOLLOWING YOUR ADVICE, HUMAN, AND COOKING THIS SLOWLY.” He looked disappointed. “I AM JUST AFRAID IT’S TAKING TOO LONG…”

You smiled at him and came forward to look into the pot. “How long has it been on? Mind if I taste-test the sauce?”

Sans leaned against the doorway, watching as you tried the sauce, complimented Papyrus’s creativity with the spices, and quickly got yourself a glass of water to rinse the burn from your mouth. The three of you settled down to watch the concert, plates of spaghetti in hand.

“HUMAN, I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY THEY AREN’T DANCING.”

“maybe it’s too much **treble**.”

Papyrus groaned in agony. “AND WHY DOES THE BLONDE ONE LOOK SO SAD? AND WHY DOES HIS VOICE SOUND LIKE HE GOT PUNCHED IN THE THROAT?”

You choked on your spaghetti. Wheezing a bit, you replied. “Well, he sounds like that because that’s how he sings.” You paused, reluctant to answer the other question. “I wouldn’t say he’s sad.”

Sans looked at you, saw the emotions flit across your face. It was obvious that both you and the human on the TV were gloomy. Neither he nor Papyrus called you on your lie, and you appreciated it, but decided the truth wasn’t something that needed to be said.

“DID YOU SEE THIS PERFORMANCE LIVE?”

“I wish.” You said, indeed seeming very wistful. Sans studied you. “But I guess it wasn’t meant to be.”

“WHY IS THAT?”

You struggled. You didn’t want to tell Papyrus that the man on the TV was dead. “He doesn’t perform anymore.” You said dismally. “He never really liked being popular.”

“NYEHEHEHEH, YES IT IS QUITE A BURDEN TO BE LOVED BY THE MASSES!”

You managed a wan smile. “The Great Papyrus handles fame very well.” Your tone was falsely bright, but if Papyrus caught it, he didn’t show.

The music was very calming, Sans had to admit, but he was more fascinated by the effect the music had on you. There were certain points you would smile, close your eyes… and he could feel your soul feebly call out in some way, as if it were searching for something to guide it along. He didn’t understand what it meant, or even how it worked. He supposed it was just a human thing and left it at that.

Maybe the tears in your eyes were from the extremely spicy spaghetti sauce. You had told him to experiment with spices, but you hadn’t expected him to use straight up hot sauce.

  

You and Sans ended up at Grillby’s for dinner, and after a long talk with the fire elemental (which was more of you talking to him and Sans telling you what Grillby’s responses were) plans began to be made. Surprisingly, he’d been all for helping you take your vengeance on your friends. Despite his stoic silence, he seemed quite mischievous, to your amusement. You found yourself wishing you could discern his facial features through the dancing flames.

This was going to be fun.

 

* * *

 

The next day you woke up to Papyrus barging into the ruins, stopping in long enough to encourage you to go see Sans to work on your costume. You got there to discover Undyne was gone. Apparently, she went to check on Alphys, who apparently slept through the entire day and night.

Sans was already awake, you were surprised to note—but then you noticed the dimness in his sockets and wondered if he’d even slept. “come here and check this out.” He demanded, ushering you into his room. You noticed it was a bit cleaner than it had been, but chalked it up to him needing space to work on something. He held out what could be described as huge footie-pajamas with sewn-on wings coming from the back. There was also a head, much like of a mascot, with the vague semblance of a humanoid dragon.

“Really?” You felt your face crumble.

“don’t knock it till you try it on.” His smile hitched. Reluctantly, you retreated to the bathroom to put the costume on, even more disappointed when you looked in the mirror. This must be a joke. “come out, and we can get started.” Sans said, and you reluctantly opened the door. You expected him to laugh, to poke fun at you—and that was exactly what you got. “god, that was so worth it. i haven’t laughed this hard since frisk told me the secret password!”

“Very funny.” You grumbled and went to shut the door.

He caught it before it could close and let out a satisfied sigh. “i need you to trust me on this, okay?” he said. “you know what you want it to look like in your head, right?” You nodded, feeling humiliated, staring in the mirror at yourself. “just a warning… if you take it off, the magic will start to disperse, and i’m not gonna do this a second time.”

“Wait, what? So I have to wear this for the whole next week?!”

“it’ll lend credibility, won’t it? just go stay with grillbz for a few days and he’ll help you.”

“But… how will I shower, or eat…”

He chuckled and you looked at him. “it’s magic. you will still be able to do anything you normally do, except interact with your human body. if you take any part of this off, it won’t just go back together.”

You nodded. “How does this work, Sans?”

He shrugged. “magic.” then his left eye flared blue. “focus on what you want it to look like. less work for me.”

You visualized the draconic creature with claws, and dark emerald scales and cobalt belly. Long, intimidatingly curved horns and eyes of icy blue. Elongated snout, rows of razor-sharp teeth. Huge, amazing wings with sapphire-tinted membranes. You focused on the image, and felt the temperature in the room drop by perhaps ten degrees. You suppressed the shiver, and continued to concentrate as you felt your body be swathed in raw magic. Numbness crept across your skin, and then a weight set in on your back. You were Determined to not lose your mental image, and tried to keep it the sole focus of your mind.

“we should have done this outside.” He said at last.

You opened your eyes and grinned, seeing the exact replication of the fearsome visage you’d conjured smiling back at you in the mirror, lips parted over gleaming fangs. “Sans, you’re a genius.”

He shuddered. “your voice is still the same.”

“What, is it creepy?”

“yep.”

You laughed heartily. Then you cleared your throat and tried to summon something more fitting: a near scream-growl. It was lower than your voice usually pitched, and sounded gruffer, and—perhaps—demonic? “ **H ~~ow~~ i ~~s~~ th ~~i~~ s**?”

Again he shuddered. “yep, i’m out.” He began walking away, and with a chuckle you tried to follow him. That was when you noticed the door was a bit smaller than you had remembered. Your wings were desperately trying to stretch—and with a start you realized you could feel them, you could move them. You flattened them to your back awkwardly, smacking yourself in the horns once or twice. This would be an eventful week.

  

Because you were wrapped in magic, you could hear and understand Grillby now. His voice was sultry, dark, and made your scales prickle. That was a feeling you weren’t sure you could get used to. You were glad it was only one week, because living as a different person was exhausting. At least Grillby made it easier for you, letting you crash at his place. After all, going home was a bad idea. Sans agreed to check on your place occasionally, but you doubted he would.

You asked Grillby to help you come up with a name for yourself, and he provided “Shale.” He said it was the name of an old friend who fell on the surface during the war. Grillby also confided that no one was surprised because there were a few veterans who had been gravely injured and holed themselves up deep in the Underground. They just assumed that, since he seemed to know you, you were one of them. Where Sans had seemed uneasy with your voice and countenance, Grillby seemed delighted. He even offered to help keep the costume up with some of his own magic, much to Sans’s relief.

The week went by faster than you’d expected, and the only thing that bothered you was that everyone else seemed really worried that you weren’t leaving your room. You called in using your normal voice every day, telling Alphys you were okay, you just needed some time to recover from a totally normal human illness. One that was definitely not worth her studying. One that did not require medication. And no, you assured her, you would not die from it. You felt bad for lying, and you honestly missed your friends, but you reminded yourself that the look on their face would be worth it.

Sans came to check on you once a day to see how the magic was holding up. Even with Grillby’s help, he still needed to make sure it would stay solid. He explained that it was much different than anything he’d made before and he wouldn’t have gone through the trouble if he’d known how much work it would be.

He had admitted at one point that he was kind of excited to see everyone freak out, however. As much as he tried to act like an asshole, you could tell he was having fun with this little plan, and perhaps even having fun hanging out with you. You delved into your collection of dirty jokes, and astounded him by constantly switching voices back and forth to make him laugh even harder.

Grillby was always on his phone, you noticed. You assumed it was just because he didn't talk much.

 

* * *

 

At last, Dancing Day arrived, and you were a nervous wreck. You were glad that you had had so much time to get used to moving in this body, but began wondering what would happen when you took it off. As for that, how would you go about doing it? Sans went to check up on you, and when you asked, he told you to just take your head off—but to remember that once the magic is broken, it’s broken—so do it only if you’re ready to quit being Shale.

That brought a thought to mind: you were really enjoying being Shale. Sure, you missed your friends, but you were having a blast talking with Sans, punning back and forth, and overall just hanging out. That would all be over after today. You squashed the bittersweet feeling that tried to clutch at you.

You asked Sans if he actually would make you look like you were flying. After all, when you’d fallen out of the tree, he had seemed to have trouble holding you up. He just laughed and told you that it was because he wasn’t used to letting someone down gently. If he were just throwing you through the air, he was sure it would be a lot of fun. For him, at least.

You secretly prayed that the wings would work if he decided not to catch you after throwing you.

Everyone was meeting out front of the skelebros’ house. “Shale” was introduced to everyone by Grillby, who was dressed the same as always. You wore only your draconic persona as a costume, hoping no one would be offended that you weren’t dressed up for the occasion.

Undyne had stared you down, sizing you up while Alphys looked up at you in awe. Undyne was in her armor, but it was altered slightly to look like Alphonse Elric. Alphys was cosplaying Winry Rockbell. You barely managed to not blow your cover—you wanted to laugh, you wanted to enthuse with Alphys. Suddenly this holiday had become bitter. Did you really want revenge? Would it be worth it to betray everyone’s trust? How were you possibly going to not react to everyone as if you knew them?

Papyrus was indeed dressed up as Mettaton, in an incarnation you had seen on TV, but never in real life. He looked depressed, until Sans took him into a nearby building, probably to explain the situation, and he emerged much, much happier. He also greeted you very enthusiastically. Sans was in his normal clothes, but he carried around a clothes iron. When you asked what he was supposed to be, he just shrugged and told you he was Iron Man. It took so much effort not to let on that you knew what that meant. You resolved to punch the hell out of him when everything was said and done.

Mettaton showed up, and did a double-take at Papyrus. The robot himself was in a long, flowing, white gown with white flowers tucked into a long, curled, brown hair-piece. It struck you as very familiar, but you couldn’t place what he was dressed as. Mettaton seemed intimidated by you at first, but then made it his mission to flirt with you until he could get a reaction. He also flirted a fair amount with Grillby, who he’d never met before. Grillby reacted much easier, but didn’t reciprocate. He was too busy watching everything happen, taking the situation in detail by detail.

Toriel arrived shortly after Mettaton, and to your amusement, she wore a giant shell on her back. She joked about her late arrival, saying she hadn’t meant to move at a snail’s pace. When she noticed you, she froze, looked at Grillby, looked at you again, and then relaxed. Very respectably, she came forward and offered her hand to shake. You felt like an imposter. She was giving you the respect due a veteran of a war you’d never seen. You felt your sins crawling on your back, but Grillby squeezed your shoulder reassuringly. The party moved from Snowdin’s center to the skelebros’ living room, so Mettaton wouldn’t begin to rust.

Papyrus hurried to serve spaghetti. You recognized your own recipe, and realized he had been upset that you weren’t here to eat it with him. Guilt gnawed at you, and you wanted to tell him—but Papyrus couldn’t keep secrets very well. He’d done well not to outright tell Undyne that Sans was going to help you with a costume, but you’d heard from Grillby that the post had been up the next morning that apparently you and Sans were doing secret planning—which was unfortunately cut short due to your frail immune system. People were arguing what the possible costume would have been. It was an all-out undernet war.

You realized a problem and excused yourself to turn your phone off and hand it over to Sans to take care of. If anyone called you to ask how you were or tell you what you were missing, it would have given you away. As it was, you were having so much trouble not just throwing the façade away and hanging out with your friends who you’d missed so very much.

After eating, there were games to be played and music to be listened to. Mettaton acted as an announcer, offering extremely biased commentary over everyone’s performance, especially when it came to dancing. The songs were, of course, Mettaton’s, but he stated proudly that his cousin had remixed the songs and put in some delightful mixes of their own. You had to admit that whoever Mettaton’s cousin was, they knew what they were doing. You resolved to ask to meet them when you took the costume off.

As for that, Sans appeared near you at one point, having set his iron down, and asked if you wanted flying lessons. You hadn’t been entirely sure if he was planning to ‘accidentally’ kill you—but after the week you’d both had, you couldn’t really believe he would. You were about to agree to try it then, but Undyne approached, and you couldn’t help but blanch at her hard stare.

“So, punk… What is your costume, anyway, or are vets just too good for holiday tradition?”

“U-Undyne!” Alphys flailed. She needn’t have worried—you knew Undyne’s sense of humor. She was just trying to joke with you.

You turned to Grillby, smiling, “ **S ~~uc~~ h ~~fi~~ ~~r~~ e in t ~~hi~~ s ~~o~~ ne, m ~~y fri~~ end**!”

“I’m talking to you!” She said, her eye flashing. Now she was upset. “I don’t know why Sans even bothered inviting you two!”

You hadn’t thought she might react differently to Shale than to you. You didn’t think before you spoke again. “ **H ~~e pr~~ ob ~~a~~ bly th ~~ough~~ t we’d ge ~~t on~~ like a  ho ~~us~~ e on f ~~ire~~.** ” You said deadpan, and Sans snickered.

“Oh, you’re gonna make fun of me?” Undyne’s anger turned to straight-up hatred. She stepped forward quickly, standing toe-to-toe with you, and then wrapped her arms around your middle and heaved. You went easily, wings trapped, and she suplexed you, your horns denting the floor. You let out a pained roar—luckily in your growl-scream voice. You stumbled to your feet, but staggered backwards. Sans took one of your arms and Grillby took the other. They escorted you outside, everyone either following you out, or staring through the window to see what was happening.

“no time like the present to make an escape.” Sans remarked. “i’m just shocked she didn’t figure out it was you.”

You nodded groggily. Your head pulsed from the impact. Grillby reached up and touched the pained area, the scales around your horns. You hissed from the ache, but his heat soothed it a bit. You felt yourself standing a bit straighter. “Thanks, Grillby.” You muttered in your real voice.

“you ready, shale?” Sans asked, his eye flaring blue.

“Yeah.” You said quietly, looking back at the onlookers as you unfurled your huge wings. The cobalt membranes caught the light, and you heard someone make an appreciative noise. You flapped them just like you’d practiced before, but now there was another sensation, and you pushed off from the ground with all your strength as Sans’s magic took you up. Being as how your form was mostly made from his magic, he hadn’t needed to expose your soul for this. You flew through the air, flapping your wings in a way you hoped looked convincing. The frigid air against your face felt amazing, but you made a mistake.

You looked down.

“Oh fucking _CHRIST_!” You screamed, forgetting the need to use Shale’s voice. You flailed in the air, and suddenly you were falling. You tried to balance yourself with your wings, but Sans was bringing you down. You felt sick—was he really going to dash you across the ground and kill you?

Everyone was outside now. You stopped just above the snow, and Sans was there as you gently touched down. You collapsed on your hands and knees, sobbing. “hey, what are you, afraid of heights?” he asked, reaching out as if to help you up.

“I didn’t think so.” You told him, feeling like you were going to vomit.

“guess we should have practiced that before now.”

“WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!” Papyrus was leading everyone forward. “WHY IS THE HUMAN’S VOICE COMING FROM SHALE? DID YOU EAT MY FRIEND?!” You looked up to see his face, and froze. Papyrus was standing in a fighting stance against you. Also, his tone was different. Sure, he was loud as ever, but he was also enraged. You hadn’t imagined he could get angry, but now you felt fury and magic radiate from him. You looked at Sans, who stood up and walked to stand between you and Papyrus. You realized where this was going with a sinking feeling.

“Hey, wait.” You said, pushing yourself to your feet. Undyne didn’t know what was going on, but she was starting to get ideas. Alphys stared at you in horror, and then at Sans in awe. Grillby caught up to them. He had walked rather than run. Toriel and Mettaton were with him. You steadied yourself on your shaking feet and put your hands out. Everyone’s eyes were on you. You reached up and pulled Shale’s head off. Papyrus fainted. Toriel gasped. Mettaton screamed. The following silence was deafening.

You looked out at everyone, feeling more and more like an asshole by the moment. Sans turned around, and caught sight of your head poking out of the mostly corporeal body of “Shale” and began laughing. He turned to everyone and approached Papyrus, who despite fainting was already coming to.

You spoke. “We knew about your little shipping game. We wanted revenge for it.” You looked away. “I thought it would be fun… but it wasn’t.”

Alphys shuffled nervously. “I’m s-sorry. I d-didn’t know it would get this big. I-didn’t-mean-to-be-rude!”

Your response was interrupted when Grillby took a picture of you with his phone. You met his eyes (or the area of his face that would have eyes) and cold realization sunk in. He was part of the fiasco. He had agreed to this not to throw the ship on its ear, but to sail it along. And it had worked, you realized. You and Sans had worked together, made plans. You could almost even call him your friend.

Sans looked up at you as you gaped at the bartender. Grillby handed his phone over to Alphys. She looked at it, scrolled through whatever he was showing her, and turned beet red. She showed it to Undyne. She guffawed. “Revenge, huh?”

Sans used his magic to grab the phone and crush it. Grillby didn’t even flinch. “you already uploaded it, didn’t you?” Grillby nodded in answer, waved to everyone, and began walking back to his bar. Sans hurled the remnants of his phone at him. He turned back to you, face entirely blue. “i shouldn’t have helped you.”

You couldn’t really argue. Papyrus looked at Sans, then at you and smiled. “I LIKED YOUR COSTUME, HUMAN!”

“I liked your spaghetti, Papyrus.” You answered.

Undyne thundered over to you, her glare still present. “And _you_! You had me so worried about your _health_! DO YOU KNOW HOW BADLY I WANTED TO KICK DOWN YOUR DOOR TO CHECK ON YOU?”

You grimaced. “I bet it makes that suplex even more satisfying.”

She sighed and pulled you to her. You flinched, thinking that she was going to do it again, but she just held you with bonebreaking strength and then let go, stepping back. “I swear, if you ever worry me like that again, I’ll lock you in a room with Jerry! FOR A WEEK!”

“maybe you guys can take a lesson from this, huh? let people live their lives without trying to influence them from the background. that’s how you lose friends.” Sans cut in.

Alphys put her head in her hands. “I’m so sorryyyy.”

“Discontinue the website, Alphys.” You urge. “Please?”

Toriel had taken out her phone and was reading something. “Oh my.” She said. “Grillby’s recount of the story…”

Mettaton looked at the screen. “Alphys, darling, you have more viewers than I!” He turned his attention to you. “Perhaps I should gently twist your arm and make you appear on my show with Sans.”

“Has _no one_ learned from this?” You asked. “I’m going home, then.” You turned and began stalking off.

“hey.” You heard Sans before you saw him, as he appeared at your side, keeping stride with you. “about this last week.”

“Yeah, yeah, I won’t take it to heart. Sorry it didn’t go the way we planned.” You were a bit disgruntled. “I’ll see you at work when I’m not too humiliated to show my face.”

“yeah… see ya later, then… shale.”

You were tempted to ask him not to call you that… but you couldn’t really bring yourself to. The last week had been fun. You would kind of miss the persona of Shale, and, perhaps if only a bit, you liked the idea that Sans wanted to remember the time you’d spent building Shale’s story from the ground up. You stopped walking and turned around. He looked at you with dimmed sockets. You growled low and threateningly at him, “ **L ~~at~~ er, S ~~an~~ s.**” and watched the lights flicker brighter, his smile become slightly crooked. “ **And g ~~ive m~~ e b ~~ack~~ my phon ~~e~~**.” You remembered suddenly. He took your cell phone out of his pocket and tossed it to you. You caught it and looked at it.

“too bad I can’t use touch screens.” He waved his flesh-less fingers at you. “you coulda got my **digits**.”

You laughed and turned away.

The realization that everyone was still looking on during this banter filled you with CONSTERNATION.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone wants to drop me a line on tumblr... I have a tumblr specifically for the fic, now, and through it, you will see all kinds of weird things. Feel free to send me links to all undertale related things, and check out the art I hope to put up on the fic eventually!  
> (www.zaiyofics.tumblr.com)  
> I would love to hear from you guys!


	9. Deja Vu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternate Title: Dating START!
> 
> Sans isn't as lazy as usual?  
> There's a Flowey Fan Club?  
> Papyrus wants to date you?!
> 
> (warning for pain, abuse, and PANIC ATTACKS!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys, I'm back earlier than I had anticipated... but I've been stressed-- so the writing has gone much smoother than normal. This chapter was originally supposed to go differently, but I'm happy with how it turned out overall.
> 
> Let me know what you guys think. There are a few references in here. I'm pretty sure no one will find the Simpson's reference... but if you do, let me know! ;)  
> Edited: 4/16/16

Nightmares again. But they weren’t about Him, this time. You were trapped in a building, and a human with no face was chasing you. It felt like a hospital—no, like Alphys’s lab. The lights were dim, if they were even on. You finally came to a dead end, turned around, and decided that if you couldn’t escape, you would fight to your last. Its arm tangled with reality, reaching from directions you couldn’t fathom, and you woke to a startling _crack_ that made you cry out. It wasn’t the first time you’d dreamt of being killed, nor the first time you’d dreamt of that particular creature… but it was the first time you’d seen a human countenance of any kind other than your own since you fell into the Underground. How long had you been down here now?

You sighed and got up. Papyrus would be here soon, anyway. You got a shower, dressed comfortably, and stumbled over the box of memories on your way to the kitchen. You swallowed the lump in your throat and gathered up the coat, putting it in the garbage and out of your mind. You gathered the movies and games from the box and put them away in your room, cleaning them as best you could. You didn’t know which smell was worse: the dump or the smell of your abuser.

You weren’t sure which one made you retch more.

You grabbed the dried cardboard box, averting your eyes from His handwriting on it as you carried it to the exit of the Ruins. You would throw it out with the rest of the garbage—you just didn’t want to look at it anymore today if you could help it.

Papyrus came in as you cleaned the living room floor. He held out a container of spaghetti. “I KNOW YOU WERE THERE… BUT I WANTED TO GIVE YOU SOME OF THE PARTY SPAGHETTI.”

You smiled, “Thank you. I… I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the plan.”

“YOUR JAPE WAS QUITE PROFOUND! I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MEANT ABOUT ‘SHIPPING’ THOUGH. WHERE WOULD THEY BE SHIPPING US, AND WHY IS IT A BAD THING? DO HUMANS NEED TO BE PUT IN SPECIAL BOXES TO BE SHIPPED?”

You laughed. “Oh, Papyrus, please promise me you’ll never change.”

He looked at you curiously. “IF I DO INDEED CHANGE, IT WILL ONLY BE FOR THE BETTER!”

“A fate befitting of the Great Papyrus.” You agreed, your smile fading after a moment. “So you’re not upset with me for lying to you—and everyone else, too?”

He shook his head. “HONESTLY, I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THAT.” Your heart sunk, and you got up. “I WANTED TO INVITE YOU TO WORK WITH ME. SANS GOT TO SPEND SO MUCH TIME WITH YOU ALL TO HIMSELF… I’VE REALLY MISSED YOU!”

“Paps, I’m sorry.” You gave him a hug. “Are you sure you want me to go with you?”

“YES, I BELIEVE I CAN DO THIS, JUST THIS ONCE. I’VE BEEN FEELING DISTRACTED… SO IF YOU DON’T GO TOO, I’LL STILL BE THINKING ABOUT IT. I JUST… I… I need someone to talk to.”

Your heart broke. “Let me just put the spaghetti in the fridge, and get some shoes on.” He nodded, and you hurried off to do as you’d said.

You walked together, but Papyrus seemed reluctant to broach the topic again. As you tried to think of a gentle way to bring the earlier subject up, he surprised you by speaking again. “THIS PAST WEEK, SANS BEHAVED DIFFERENT. SMALL CHANGES AT FIRST, LIKE CLEANING HIS ROOM A LITTLE AT A TIME… AND THEN BIGGER THINGS, LIKE HELPING ME OUT AROUND THE HOUSE… I THOUGHT ‘WOWIE, THE HUMAN REALLY KNEW THAT THINGS WOULD TURN OUT OKAY.’ AND THEN I NOTICED THAT HE BEGAN ACTING THAT WAY AFTER YOU QUIT COMING OUT TO SEE EVERYONE… I THOUGHT MAYBE HE HATED YOU…”

“I used to think that, myself.” You admitted.

“BUT IT DIDN’T EXPLAIN WHY HE WAS DOING THINGS. IT DIDN’T EXPLAIN WHY HE WAS SO HAPPY.”

You were silent.

“HE SPENT MORE TIME THAN EVER AT GRILLBY’S, AND THEN BROUGHT SHALE—YOU—TO THE PARTY. HE’D NEVER INVITED GRILLBY BEFORE…” He looked at you. “I THOUGHT HE WAS TRYING TO REPLACE YOU WITH SHALE, AT FIRST. BUT THEN HE OFFERED TO TAKE YOU SOME OF THE PARTY SPAGHETTI AFTER THE PARTY WAS OVER…” He sighed. “I’m not stupid.”

“You knew I was Shale?”

“NO! YOUR PRANK FOOLED ME QUITE WELL…” he looked troubled. “NO, HUMAN… I THOUGHT SHALE ATE YOU.”

You chuckled. “I’m so sorry, Paps. And I know you’re not stupid. Who said you were?”

He shook his head. “NO ONE HAS TO SAY IT. JUST AS WE KNOW IT IS NOT TRUE, SOME BELIEVE I AM SIMPLE, DESPITE MY OBVIOUS INTELLECT!” He smiled down at you for a moment. “NO, SANS DOESN’T JUST _DO_ THINGS… AND THEN, LAST NIGHT, HE JUST LOCKED HIMSELF UP IN HIS ROOM AGAIN. I WENT TO CHECK ON HIM AND IT WAS A MESS AGAIN! HE JUST…”

“Well, someone he calls friend betrayed him.”

“HE SAID HE DIDN’T CARE ABOUT THAT. And… he doesn’t seem sad.”

You were confused now. “So what is it you’re worried about? I don’t think I understand.”

“I… THINK MY BROTHER FOUND SOMEONE HE COULD TALK TO COMFORTABLY.” He said. “I wanted to thank you.” It took a moment for the information to sink in. You gaped for a moment, trying to think of a way to respond. “I WANTED TO THANK YOU FOR BEING RIGHT! EVERYTHING IS GETTING BETTER, NOW! BEFORE WE KNOW IT, WE’LL BE ON THE SURFACE, DOING THOSE AWESOME SURFACE THINGS!”

You laughed and gave him another hug. The two of you had come to the area where you’d fallen down, and you looked around for the flower that had talked to you.

“OH, HUMAN, ARE YOU LOOKING FOR FLOWEY?”

“Flowey?”

“YES, FLOWEY THE FLOWER! HE’S NOT LIKE AN ECHO FLOWER THAT ONLY REPEATS THINGS BACK TO YOU. FLOWEY ACTUALLY TALKS!”

“I was starting to wonder if I’d imagined him.” You admitted.

“AH, I UNDERSTAND… BUT YOU HAVE SEEN HIM BEFORE, RIGHT?”

You nodded. “When I first fell, he was crying. When I talked to him, he said… some weird stuff and then disappeared.” The adoring tone of Papyrus’s voice made you think twice about adding that the flower was either crazy or evil. 

“I HAVEN’T SEEN FLOWEY IN A FEW YEARS, NOW. THE LAST TIME I SAW HIM, HE WAS SO HAPPY… BUT YOU SAID HE WAS DOWN HERE CRYING?”

“Yeah.”

“WHAT DID HE SAY?”

“He was sad that I wasn’t Frisk.” You recalled, refusing to relay Flowey’s confirmation of Frisk’s death. Papyrus, as you knew, still whole-heartedly believed that Frisk was happily living on the surface.

“HMM… I DIDN’T KNOW HE AND FRISK WERE FRIENDS. WELL, I SUPPOSE IT MAKES SENSE, THOUGH. DID YOU WANT TO JOIN THE FLOWEY FAN CLUB?”

“You made a Flowey fan club?” His hopeful look made your mind up for you. “I’ll join it, then. Who all is in it?”

“I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS WAS THE ONLY MEMBER UNTIL NOW!” He said proudly. “YOU SHALL COME OVER FOR DINNER TONIGHT TO SIGN THE NECESSARY PAPERWORK AND COMPLETE THE PREREQUISITE PUZZLES!”

Your face lit up with a heartfelt smile, and the two of you headed back toward your home. “Sounds great.” You weren’t sure how Papyrus had managed to make you excited for paperwork, but—

“I PROMISE, HUMAN, THE GREAT PAPYRUS WILL SHOW YOU AN AMAZING DATE, AND PERHAPS I WILL COME UP WITH A FITTING AND CUTE NICKNAME FOR YOU!”

At the word “date” you felt a jolt down your spine and you stared up at Papyrus in shock. _Dating?!_

“OH, HUMAN YOU APPEAR QUITE FLUSTERED! PERHAPS I WAS TOO SUDDEN? I UNDERSTAND IF YOU MUST LEAVE ME TO MY JOB SO THAT YOU CAN PREPARE FOR OUR DATE! I WILL SEE YOU TONIGHT, AND WE WILL FINALIZE YOUR MEMBERSHIP, EAT, AND WATCH METTATON!”

Again, you felt that electric jolt at the word, confused and taken aback. You hadn’t thought Papyrus was even interested in dating people! You couldn’t imagine him being that kind of serious about anything. You began walking toward your home stiffly. “Yeah, you’re right, Paps. I… uh… need to go prepare!”

Who could you call about this? There was only one other person who wasn’t part of this terrible debacle of shipping, and you didn’t have his number. You pulled out your phone and went to check your contacts for ideas on who you could possibly talk to, just to get the shock to level. You had a message from an unknown number, and you opened it, glad for something to distract you.

 **xxx-xxx-xxxx**  
_knock knock._

You felt your face, still frozen in a smile, twitch.

 **you**  
_Who’s there?_

You were walking slower now, so to avoid falling into traps. You tried to pay attention to the paths that were marked out, but your focus was mainly on your phone.

 **xxx-xxx-xxxx**  
_deja_

You groaned internally.

 **you**  
_Deja who?_

You hurried into the house, sitting down in your chair and programming the name into your phone. It buzzed in your hand.

 **snas**  
_knock knock._

 **you**  
_Goddammit, Sans._

You felt yourself smiling and massaged your face in an attempt to erase it. You didn’t want to admit how happy you were. Your phone buzzed again, and the smile was back again with no hope of going away.

 **snas**  
_you’re supposed to say who’s there._

 **you**  
_But I know who’s there already._

You got up, an idea coming to mind. You threw on your jacket and your furry platform boots and rushed out the door toward Snowdin. Your phone buzzed in your pocket.

 **snas**  
_humor me, would ya?_

 **you**  
_Don’t you mean ‘humerus’? It’s my turn, anyway._

You picked up your pace, and were soon standing at the door to the skelebros’ house. You hesitated with your hand a few inches from the door. You took a deep breath, and tried to calm yourself. You knocked and waited for an answer.

“who’s there?”

“Snow.”

“snow who?”

“ **Snow** use, I forgot who I am.”

He chuckled and opened the door. “i should make a lock that only opens for jokes.” He said. “wouldn’t be worth it, though. paps would have to move.” You laughed and then stopped when you remembered your conversation with the tall skeleton. Sans looked at you oddly. “jeez, shale. you look like you tried to motorboat grillby.” That certainly didn’t help your blush. He stood to the side and you came in. “what’s **burnin** ’ ya so bad today?”

Sure, when you were playing the role of Shale last week, you had both started making some pretty dark and weird jokes. You had even cracked a couple of regrettable dirty jokes, but it was so worth it to see him double over, laughing so hard you thought his ribs would crack. Now that you had forfeit your other persona, though… it felt different.

It didn’t help that if the Skelehuman fanatics caught onto Papyrus’s plan for tonight… Oh, no, the undernet might crash!

“Papyrus asked me on a date, Sans.” He didn’t react, aside from freezing in place. His tiny pinpricks of light turned to spotlights, and he focused on your face. Feeling a need to explain, you began to ramble. “He said he wanted to talk to me, and he seemed so upset, so I went out into the ruins with him and we started talking about talking flowers and then he invited me over for dinner, and I thought it was just normal and then he called it a date, and… oh gods, Sans, he’s expecting me to dress up and…”

He began laughing. “wow.” He finally said, and gestured to the couch

“Sans, is this a normal thing? I… didn’t think…” You stammered and sank into the sofa.

“this isn’t the first time he’s been on a date—but it is the first time he’s asked someone out. wow…” He looked a little relieved. “it could be much worse. he could have asked mettaton.” He looked like he was trying to convince himself of something. “so i gotta ask you. how do you feel about my brother?”

“Jesus Christ!”

“no, not him. papyrus.” He corrected.

You couldn’t manage a laugh. “Look, Sans… I am really just… confused.”

He shook his head. “are you interested in him, though? wanna take him to the bonezone or…?”

“What the literal _fuck_ , Sans!” You yelled. “No! I… look, Paps is a great friend, and I care about him, but I don’t really think… what the _hell_ is the bonezone?”

Sans laughed and collapsed on the couch next to you. “sorry to **rattle** you, shale. just gotta look out for him. i’ve… i don’t like it when he gets hurt, especially if I could have prevented it.”

The way he said it made you want to ask questions, but his expression made you hesitate. It was the expression he’d worn when he’d barged in in a panic the other night. Forced smile, dim glows in his sockets, and a heavy aura that was palpable and negative. You sat trying to think of a good pun to bring him back to the real world, when he began talking in a voice soft enough it was hardly above a hoarse whisper. “ever had a nightmare where everything you love was taken from you so quickly… and you can’t do anything about it… and you know on some level that it’s a dream, and it’ll end just like dreams always do… but… you’re afraid you’ll wake up to the wrong thing, y’know? like… waking up and finding yourself stuck in that dream for real. over and over again.”

You were silent for a while. You wanted to help, but you didn’t know what to say to that. He seemed to know how you felt, as he continued, his voice a little more confident this time. “and in those dreams you move almost without meaning to. it’s like you’re not even in control… and before you know it, you’re standing over the body of someone you care about, seeing…” he hesitated, before it all came out in a rush, his voice rising in volume steadily. “seeing that it’s not them, that it will never be them again. knowing that you failed, and you don’t know what you did wrong... i don’t know what i did to make them do it, and nothing i did could change it. and everyone was dead. everyone was dead—and i’m always afraid i’ll wake up and they’ll still be dead.”

His eyes met yours now, the lights wisping like warm breath in cold air as he stared pleadingly into you. He was desperately trying to rein in his emotions. “and the last thing you feel before you wake up is the cold and ache of ending—and the feeling that none of it ever mattered. how hard you struggle, how many times you lie to keep them safe, keep them happy. none of it matters cause when you wake up it’s all begun again.” His face twisted, and his voice became bitter. “i’ve been taking it _one day at a time_ far longer than you know.”

His breathing was rough; he was trying to hold back tears. You stared into his eyes and waited to see if he was listening. “Sans.” He steadied his breathing and closed his eyes, the wisping haze of his eyes still escaping from the cracks. “I…” You cleared your throat and tried again. “If you have any more nightmares, call me. I… don’t sleep much, either.” His eyes opened. You continued. “I know you don’t like to talk to people about these things… but I’m here for you. And I promise I won’t tell anyone.” You smiled at him. “When… I have trouble telling what’s real and what’s a dream, I focus on sensory. I try to count things I hear and see and so on… and if it doesn’t match up, I know that something’s not real…” You didn’t tell him you usually deferred to that to make sure you weren’t dead, a reassurance of sorts—it wasn’t necessary information right now.

“that’s the thing.” He said. “those dreams are real enough.” He was calm now. “i don’t have them anymore… but… instead…” You could feel his panic welling up again, and you hummed softly, trying to calm him. He looked surprised at first, and you felt like he was studying your soul again. Whatever he saw must have reassured him, as he lay back against the couch again and began to breathe slowly and deeply. He turned his head to look at you, and you noted with some relief that his eyes were how they usually were. The pinpricks were dull, but they were solid. “sorry about that.”

You smiled. “I know it helps to talk. You’ve had that on your shoulders for a while, haven’t you?”

He shrugged. “if… you have nightmares, you should call me, too.” He whispered.

You sighed and leaned back against the couch, as well. “I will.”

“soo… you need to go get ready for your date, don’t you?” He teased you.

You groaned. “Sans, what if he really likes me?”

He shrugged. “what is it you say all the time? take it one day at a time?” he asked, as if he hadn’t thrown that very phrase in your face a few moments ago. “just… don’t focus on it and wing it.” He paused for a moment. “wing it in a gentle way, though. don’t break his heart.”

You smiled. “I don’t think I could purposely hurt him. Anyone who could should burn in hell.”

He shivered, and you remembered the conversation you’d just had and cursed yourself internally. Way to bring up the sensitive and very negative subject again! Good job!

“yeah, that’s what i say.” He muttered and got up. “c’mon, i know a shortcut.”

“Where are we going?” You asked, getting up to follow him.

You found yourself standing in your living room. “see you later.” He winked at you, and disappeared again. At least he’d said goodbye this time.

A song came to mind, and you felt a thrum in your heart. You wished you could show him the song, but you knew the only way to do that would be to sing. Your throat constricted at the idea. Humming was one thing—singing was an entirely different beast. When was the last time you had intentionally sung for someone? It had been years, you realized.

You went to your room and tried to focus. Hours passed with you staring into your closet blankly. You let out an aggravated groan and began drumming on your thighs, trying to focus on what you saw. Eventually you settled on something and got a shower. When you got out you sent a text to Sans asking if he could help you get back. Your hair was wet and the cold weather might be deadly. You had decided on something nice, but not too formal. As much as you were dying to wear that beautiful brocade vest, you felt like you would be overdressing. You didn’t want to make Papyrus feel underdressed again.

Sans was curled up in your chair, much like when you first met him, when you emerged from the bathroom fully dressed. When you stepped into the living room, he looked up at you lazily, and for a split second you could almost convince yourself that you had seen some different emotion flutter across his face. You decided it was just déjà vu, perhaps.

He got up and together you walked. It was still disorienting for the doorway that would lead deeper into your house to dump you through the skelebros’ front door. You felt like you were in a maze—or worse yet, a dream. You focused on touch. You collapsed on the couch again and sighed in relief as you grabbed at the arm, letting it anchor you to reality.

Sans looked at you for a moment and his smile hitched higher. He sat down next to you. “so uh… i texted papyrus to ask him how his day was going.” He winked. “he told me i should spend time out of the house for a while.” His smile stretched impossibly wider as he watched you blush. “yeah, i think he’s **dead** serious. he also told undyne to stay with alphys. i don’t know if he told her why.”

“Oh gods…” you moaned, putting your head in your hands. A thought occurred to you and you stiffened.

“you okay there? humans normally breathe…” Another amazing observation. Oh, you realized you hadn’t breathed since the idea clawed through your brain.

“He’s not going to… expect me to… do things, is he?”

Sans looked confused before realization flashed across his face. Then he laughed hard. You weren’t laughing. “ _that’s_ what you’re worried about? you think he’d ask you to do something you’d be uncomfortable with? on the first date, at that?” You still weren’t laughing. He noticed and stifled his jubilation. “look, i don’t think you have to worry about that. i’m sorry for laughing… but c’mon, shale. you _know_ him.”

You nodded. Yeah, you knew him. You knew someone who acted innocent before, too. Guilt dug into you, like a big dog clamping its powerful jaws down on you and shaking. Comparing Papyrus to Him wasn’t fair. You could tell that the carefree skeleton wasn’t putting on a façade. If that was the case, Sans would definitely know, and he would have said something. You would have seen through him, wouldn’t you?

Fear still nagged at you. Older fears now, ideas instilled in you by Him. _You_ were the abusive one. Would you hurt Papyrus somehow and not even mean to? If he’s totally blameless, completely clear of sin, that would mean all of it fell on you. You didn’t realize you were hyperventilating until you felt Sans’s hand touch your arm. You let out a terrified squeak and cowered, expecting the old reprimands.

Sans drew back and you felt even worse. He didn’t question it, but you could tell it hurt him a bit. He tried to give you a smile, but it didn’t touch the ache that set in over your heart. The ghosts of past pains made your scars feel like they were moving around on your back and arms. You felt the places on your thighs burn—those had been the most recent to heal.

What was real? You looked around, trying to find something to focus on. Your fingers dug into the arm of the chair with renewed gusto. Your fingers even cracked, eliciting a startled jump from Sans, who looked horrified. You stared at the TV, tracing the edges of the screen with your eyes. You kept trying to anchor yourself to the feeling of the couch around you, and tried to convince yourself that the pain wasn’t real. It would never be real again. Tears bit at your eyes and you gnawed on your lip, trying in vain to keep your breathing calm as you continued to trace the lines of the TV.

Now that your breathing was normal, you closed your eyes, ignoring any images that came to mind and focused on the ache over your heart. You hummed forcefully, pushing at the pain as hard as you could. At first, it didn’t budge. The hum became a growl, and you curled in on yourself, still struggling to push away the pulsating wound that never healed, the Void that absorbed hope.

You heard something soft and constant, the buzz of its closeness making you gasp, and felt something just as soft and constant press against you. You were wrapped in a firm but surprisingly comfortable embrace, and you smelled something like dryer sheets, smoke, and ketchup. Your nose crinkled, but you didn’t pull away. It anchored you. So did the gentle hand on your back, his thumb moving along your spine, up and down. Your face was against his sternum, you realized. He was humming, low but with just enough volume to remain constant. The tune was a simple three notes. One two three, one three two. It was a steady pattern. You hummed along after a moment, harmonizing. Your breathing calmed, and he let you go when you gently pulled away.

He looked like he wanted to ask, but he didn’t want to cause a relapse to whatever that was. You nodded your thanks. The ache had subsided for the most part. You would have to take care of it better later, when you were alone. Silence returned, and you sighed. “Sorry.” You said at last.

“call us even, then.” He shrugged. “it was no **treble**.”

You chuckled, and relaxed back against the couch again. “Wish I could pun around with you, but I’m afraid my humor would fall **flat**.”

“you’re in good company. music jokes aren’t really my **forte**.”

“Don’t **beat** yourself up over it. You just need to **compose** your thoughts.”

“yeah, i’m all out of terms to **bass** off of.”

“Well, take some **notes** because I’m not even **half** done!”

“ **tone** it down a notch, shale. gonna make me lose my **tempo**.”

You laughed. “That one was a stretch.”

He shrugged, still shaking from laughter. “i still win, though.”

You nodded. “I’m actually impressed you knew that many.”

“what, you don’t think i’m capable of playing?”

“Playing what?” You asked, your curiosity getting the best of you.

“trom **bone**.”

“Goddammit, Sans.” You laughed. “I half expected **bone** gos.”

He chuckled. “i might have to pick some up.”

“Do you actually play, or is it just for the sake of the joke?” You asked.

He shrugged. “can _you_ play anything?”

After a moment, you replied. “No. Just… just my voice.”

After a while, he nodded. “no shame in that. you do it pretty well, by what i’ve heard.” He didn’t look at you, and you tried to ignore the feeling that bloomed in you at the praise. Wow, had you been so eager for any compliment on your voice? It felt like the first time ever.

“Thank you.” You muttered, and looked away as well, your face most likely a brilliant shade of red.

After a moment, Sans stood up. “i’m off to grillby’s. paps will be home soon.”

Woah—had you really been sitting here joking and having panic attacks for that long?

At the mention of food, your stomach loudly protested its solitude.

The lights in his sockets danced with amusement. It made you happy to see it.

“remember, shale. let him down gently. he’ll take no for an answer. it won’t break him.” He said, and then blinked out of existence.

You sighed, wishing the silence wasn’t so heavy. “And now we play the waiting game.” You stared at the wall, at the door… at the sock on the floor… “The waiting game sucks.” You muttered and began thinking of songs to practice.

 

* * *

 

Sans had definitely noticed it. Your soul responds to music. Good thing, too. For a moment, your soul had been nearly devoid of Determination, and you’d tried to wrest your soul back from whatever darkness had taken hold.

What had prompted that, he wondered.

During your week as Shale, Sans had kept a close eye on you. At first, it had been about the revenge plot, and about studying how being covered in monster magic continuously for days would affect you. Even though he were lazy, he had an unhealthy curiosity. He took notes every night and stored them next to the White Ink Reports. He’d read those a second time, as well. It didn’t make it any more believable.

Sans knew when the date would be over. He swung by Grillby’s for some grub and a bottle of ketchup, and then took it to his lab. He wanted to write down the details about your soul. Was it getting stronger, or more unstable? Was it because of the continuous exposure to monster magic? Was there a variable he wasn’t taking into account?

He chuckled. You really brought out the worst in him. Not only was he regularly putting forth effort, but… Had he ever felt this light before? You had been right—talking undeniably helped. As he sat down at his desk and reached into his to go bag, he found himself hoping that it had helped you, too. _damn, at this rate, i’m going to end up trusting them_. He mused.

Perhaps he already did.

 

* * *

 

Papyrus burst through the door, and you froze, your vocals failing before he could hear you. He shut the door and sprinted upstairs to his room. You didn’t think he’d even noticed you. After the shock of the sudden entrance faded, you found yourself giggling nervously. For the hundredth time, you asked yourself what was going to happen tonight.

Papyrus exploded from his bedroom door in shorts and an orange t-shirt. He was wearing a ball cap. He looked at you on the couch and then flew down the stairs—had he really jumped down?!

“HUMAN! YOU ARE VERY PUNCTUAL!” He said, and you felt your smile spread, nervousness temporarily numbed. He was too adorable. “AND YOU LOOK VERY NICE! I’VE HEARD OF FASHIONABLY LATE, BUT YOU ARE FASHIONABLY EARLY.”

“Can’t hold a candle to you, Paps.” You chuckled, and he covered his face with his bared hands. His blush still showed, as his bones didn't cover nearly as much as his gloves had.

“OH NO! A GENUINE COMPLIMENT!!”

You bit your cheek. Were you leading him on?

“I WILL NOT BE OUTDONE!” He roared and then raced into the kitchen. You watched from the couch anxiously as he threw open cabinets and haphazardly began to cook. He glanced back at you, saw you were looking, and then began shaking from the effort of cooking _calmly_.

You migrated into the kitchen to watch him cook, and asked him how his day went. He was visibly more nervous than you. You weren’t sure if that made you feel better or worse. You kept hearing Sans in the back of your mind. ~~yeah, he’s serious… let him down gently.~~ You had never been in this kind of situation before. It was nerve wracking!

While the food cooked on low heat, he darted upstairs to gather the paperwork he’d told you about. When he got back he cheerfully admitted that cooking food slowly was useful for things like this. You resolved to keep an eye on the food too, just in case he got distracted.

You needn’t have worried. He set you to work on puzzles, which you were amused to find were obviously cut from newspapers. He discussed his and Sans’s disagreement on whether word searches or crossword puzzles were more frustrating, and asked for your input. The paperwork he’d mentioned, you found, was a list of rules, including “ABSOLUTELY NO PUNS!” and a maze that was literally impossible to solve.

“Is this maze the reason there are no other members?” You thought aloud.

“NO, I JUST HAVEN’T MET ANYONE ELSE WHO KNEW ABOUT FLOWEY. HE DOESN’T LIKE PEOPLE TO KNOW ABOUT HIM, SO I DON’T TELL ANYONE.”

“So, when you asked me if I’d seen him…”

“HUMAN, YOU WERE CRAWLING AROUND ON THE GROUND LOOKING AT EACH INDIVIDUAL FLOWER. THAT’S NOT NORMAL EVEN FOR YOU.”

You laughed, and he handed you a bowl of pasta. The sauce smelled lovely, but you were wary of whatever spices he’d used this time. He sat across from you and looked at you expectantly. You ate heartily, pleasantly surprised that it was neither unseasoned nor over-seasoned—and that your mouth was not on fire again. You even asked for seconds. After eating, the two of you migrated to the couch to watch the TV. You were incredibly nervous with Papyrus sitting so close to you, his arm around the back of the couch. You remembered the times he’d just picked you up and carried you, and thusly, how warm and inviting he could be, not just in attitude, but physically.

“HUMAN, YOU HAVE BECOME LIKE A TOMATO AGAIN.” You cracked up, and looked away. “YOU HAVEN’T EVEN BEEN WATCHING THE SHOW. WHAT’S WRONG? YOU CAN TELL ME.”

You remembered his harsh statement from earlier. ~~I’m not stupid.~~ and sighed. “Paps, I see you more as a friend than anything. You know that, right?”

“YES, I KNEW. BUT I HAD MY REASONS FOR ASKING.”

“Reasons? Plural?”

Now he was the one blushing. “I COULD HIDE FROM WHAT I WANT TO DO FOREVER, OUT OF FEAR OF NOT SUCCEEDING, BUT I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS!” He gave you a brilliant grin. “I MUST ALWAYS ACT, FOR THERE MIGHT NEVER BE ANOTHER OPPORTUNITY. I AM GLAD THAT YOU GAVE ME A CHANCE.” Well, that made sense… but what was the other motive? Quietly, he repeated. “I have my reasons.” And you saw his face turn smug.

You both watched the show, but neither of you really paid much attention to it. You were both happy to have addressed the elephant in the room. The show had been off for a few minutes when you heard Papyrus speak again, his voice still quiet. “Human, can you tell me about the surface? What do humans do?”

You thought for a moment. “You already do most of the things humans do every day. The only difference is the venue… and the peacefulness.” You added.

“Tell me something that the surface has that we don’t?”

“Roads.” You said thoughtfully. “And cars.”

He nodded. So he knew about that. “When we get to the surface, I want a car, and to feel the wind through my hair!” You hitched an eyebrow at him and chuckled. He laughed too. “There has to be more than that and the sky.” He shifted on the couch until he was curled up, head resting on the arm. Somehow, he found that comfortable.

You thought for a while. “There are buildings that go on as far as you can see, up into the clouds. We call them sky-scrapers. They’re made of metal and glass, and when the sun hits them just right, it can either blind you or show you a reflection of the world it obstructs.”

“That…sounds...cool.” You looked at him. He was falling asleep.

You kept your voice low, intending to lull him to sleep. “The world seems to go on forever, and there is so much of it that humans have yet to fully explore. Deep, rainy forests, ancient tombs, the depths of the ocean…”

“Nyeh…”

“There’re so many beautiful things up there… but I think the most beautiful things of all are down here.” You smiled at his sleeping form and then sighed, leaning back against the sofa. The front door creaked open, and Sans wandered in, sipping from a ketchup bottle. He looked surprised to see you still there.

He looked at Papyrus and his eyes softened. He glanced back to you but found it difficult to meet your eyes. He gathered his larger brother up in his arms and then blinked out of existence. A few minutes later, he appeared next to the couch again and sat down. “usually he waits to fall asleep until after i read him a story.”

“He wanted me to tell him about the surface.”

Sans nodded. It was quiet and you were starting to wonder if maybe that was a bad thing. “so how’d it go?” He was trying to sound nonchalant, you noticed. You figured he was just concerned you were leading his brother on. You briefly explained the date, and he chuckled softly and relaxed. Another pause stretched on, but this one didn’t feel tense. “thanks, shale.”

“For what?”

“for caring about him.” His eyes met yours. _~~and about me.~~_ He didn’t need to say it out loud.

You looked at your phone and cursed under your breath. “This day has gone by so quickly.” You said, and got up, stretching. Your spine popped once and you let out an appreciative sigh, then remembered how Sans usually reacted to that and apologized.

“does it hurt?” He asked shyly.

You shook your head. “Usually feels good.”

He shuddered. “If one of us made a noise like that…”

“Well, if I’m correct, it’s just the sound of air escaping my joints. No harm done.”

He looked up at you and asked suddenly, “what was the weirdest thing for you, meeting monsters?”

“What do you mean?”

“well… like, humans kinda weirded me out at first—makes me feel **underdressed** , y’know?”

“What, you’re self-conscious that you don’t have skin?”

He shrugged. “it just seemed odd.” He got up, and attempted to stretch like you did. “wow, this feels…” he stopped. “disappointing. i got up for this?”

You laughed, and had to remind yourself that Papyrus was sleeping upstairs.

“don’t worry. he sleeps like the **dead**.” You chuckled, and he brought his question back. “just outta curiosity, what is the thing that struck you most since you came here?”

You sighed and continued to stretch. Finally you replied. “I’ve never met a human who was as kind as a monster. It… made it difficult to trust anyone at first.”

He nodded. “anything else?”

You looked at him. “The noise your bones make against each other was kind of unsettling at first.”

He tapped his fingers against his forehead rhythmically. “like this?”

You smiled. “I said ‘at first’. I’m over it now.”

The tapping became scraping, and you shuddered. He laughed. You gently pushed him, frustrated when he didn’t budge even a bit. For someone made of only bones and not being substantially taller than you, he was quite the immovable object. You had an idea. “So skin creeps you out?”

“nah, not really.” he winked. “why, are you gonna take yours off?”

You ignored the innuendo. “What is it about humans that made you uncomfortable?”

His eyes hollowed out for a moment and you thought you’d made a mistake—but the lights came back. “heh heh… i, uh… plead the fifth.”

You looked outside. It wasn’t snowing right now, and you couldn’t hear the wind whipping around. “Now would be a good time to walk back home.” You thought aloud. You looked around. “Hell, I forgot my jacket at home.”

“well, you can borrow my coat, if you really want to walk, that is.”

The snow lit the night, and the sight made you sigh in bliss. You wouldn’t like the cold, but the serenity in the air made the residual ache in your chest ebb. “Yeah, I’ll walk.”

“i’d better go with you, or you’ll be up another tree.” He said, and handed you his blue coat. You shrugged it on, remembering the day you’d fallen. He had let you wear it, then, too.

As you were both walking, the silence ensued, except for the crunch of snow beneath your boots. Sans was actually pretty quiet when he meant to be. The sound of the snow under his feet was muffled. Was he using magic? Why? No, his eyes were normal.

“hey, shale. that joke you told me last week about the cake. tell it again.”

You giggled. “Why? You know the punchline. It won’t do any good!”

“i really liked it.” He said, and you went silent, blushing.

“Fine. I’ll tell it again.” You cleared your throat. “A man and his wife were arguing. She wanted him to fix the front door, because it wouldn’t shut. He said, ‘Do I have carpenter written on my forehead?’ and left to do things he’d rather do. The wife sat outside and cried, and a kindly passerby stopped and asked her, ‘why is a pretty lady like you crying outside?’ In a rush, she told the man about her husband’s rudeness and her frustration with him. He responded with an offer: ‘if you bake me a cake or… show me a good time, I’ll fix the door and anything else you need fixed. The husband returned home to find the door fixed, and asked his wife what happened. She told him about the kind man and that he’d offered to fix the door—and what his conditions had been. So he asked, ‘Well, what kind of cake did you bake him?’ and she responds, ‘Do I have baker written on my forehead?’”

The both of you laughed, and you looked around. This stretch of path looked familiar… of course it looks familiar! You chided yourself. You walk by here every day to get to Snowdin.

“wanna hear one?”

“Sure.” You said.

“so, the first time alphys met tori, she was a mess. she couldn’t keep her eyes off of her, so i leaned in and asked her ‘what’s got your goat?’ and she…” he laughed. “she smacked the shit outta me.”

You laughed. It was still so weird to hear him curse. “Please tell me that didn’t really happen.”

“it totally did.” He said, still laughing. “so i started talking to her in goat puns all the time. she eventually sent undyne after me.” he chuckled. “so worth it.”

The silence stretched. You recalled something. “Sans, do you have any D&D books? It would be awesome to do a campaign with everyone, wouldn’t it?”

He jumped a bit. “nah, i dunno what you’re talking about.”

“Bullshit. When we designed Shale, you told me so!”

He looked torn for a moment. “okay, then. i played it in one of those dreams.” That confused you even more. Before you could formulate a good and appropriate question, he began speaking again.

“sometimes the dreams were good. we would get to the surface, and i’d see the stars… the sun… i… guess i took it for granted, because i can’t remember the very first time i saw it. every time after that first time… there wasn’t any joy in it. just this lump in my ribcage that reminded me that it wasn’t going to last. sometimes it would last for weeks… and the others would try to get me to do things. that was when we started playing it. i had a level seven bard.” You smiled. He would definitely play a bard. “after… _waking up_ that time, i couldn’t just… restart all over again, so i quit playing. i didn’t need to lose _two_ kinds of progress.” He shrugged. “all the same though, cause we never went back to the surface after that.”

“In your dreams of the surface, how did the humans react?” You asked.

“about how you’d expect. curiosity, hostility, paranoia. humans have more mood swings than undyne.”

You giggled at that. “I would be terrified for you guys if the barrier was broken.”

He nodded. “maybe that’s what frisk thought, too.”

“What?”

He jolted, looked over at you and then grinned sheepishly. “I forgot you aren’t part of that whole… shit-storm.”

You waited, sure that he’d tell you when he was ready. He still felt comfortable enough to curse in front of you. Maybe he’d let go of some of the burden. You were ready to help.

“hypothetically, imagine living the same day over and over again. no one else remembers that they’re stuck in a perpetual rerun. well, except me and frisk.” You could tell he was nervous. You nodded, and waited for him to go on. “sometimes the kid would save us all, break the barrier… and then sometimes they’d kill everyone they came across. and then, it just stopped. they _knew_ i could remember. they knew it.” He glared down at the snow, and you noticed something. You were walking in your own tracks. He was using his ‘shortcuts’ to make the walk longer. You didn’t complain.

“they… gave us an unfinished ending. i kept waiting for them to come back. i thought for _sure_ they’d come back eventually…” He shook his head. “they didn’t. i don’t believe they ever will, either. and for the longest time, i found myself hating them. i felt betrayed, i felt… just… like it was them **twisting the knife** , heh heh…” he stopped walking. You looked into his eyes, finding black pits. Lights flickered on when he noticed you, though. He had been so lost in his own thoughts, his own memories.

“but i got to thinking earlier. i don’t like not knowing what comes next… but i know it’s for the best…” he closed his eyes. “and the ending that i had been pining for… if that had come true, you would have been down here all alone. you might have never made it out, because without the magic we put into this place, it would all come crumbling down. it would be inhospitable at best, and uninhabitable and impassible at worst. you would have died down here, alone… and…” he stopped. “i guess…. i just think frisk must have had a good reason for not resetting.”

He opened his eyes, searching your face. “i know you don’t really want to face them. i don’t really either… but let’s… take it one day at a time, huh?” He gestured ahead, and you noticed you were standing in front of the Ruins. When had that happened? “i’ll see you at work, tomorrow?” He asked.

“Yeah.” you said, smiling, and taking his coat off. Just like last time, he put it back on and a look of relief set over him.

The cold grazed you, but watching as he walked out of sight before disappearing filled you with DETERMINATION.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmmmmmmmm... I need to point something out.
> 
> When the River Person mentioned the White Ink Reports and then said "history repeats itself" it DOES NOT refer to a skeleton-human pairing. 
> 
> Tell me what you think happens next in the comments! Next chapter should be fun, even though it's fluff, it will still definitely contribute to the story!


	10. Why is Singing Erogenous?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternate Chapter Title: Too many song references i'm so sorry but also i'm not.
> 
> So, let's make Reader's friendship with Sans even more awkward! How will we do that?  
> Well, imagine Mettaton putting Reader on a stage and making them sing for the entire Underground-- and some stuff in between.  
> Namely, i don't know, being in a movie.  
> I may or may not have wrote this partially for someone's benefit in the comments~!
> 
> Enjoy, or don't. Tell me either way, I'll still love ya!  
> Also, please bear with me on the 80s tunes. Because the mental image of Sans yelling "science!" in an attempt to mimic that song almost made me fall in the floor while writing. I hope it tickles you, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs are linked in the fic.  
> I apologize if the multitude of songs bothers anyone… I really don’t mean for so much musical vomit to happen—but it’s kinda integral to the character. Please believe me when I say that every song is chosen very carefully, and the songs MAY OR MAY NOT give hints to what happens later in the story. (with the exception of She Blinded Me With Science. I just thought of that song and started laughing my ass off and couldn’t resist putting it in.)
> 
> I do not own any of these songs. That is why they are popular lmao.  
> Edited: 4/16/16

“Look, I’m all for learning, but… is this really necessary?” Alphys was glaring at you now (she was getting really tired of your sass today), but you weren’t going to stay silent. “Hey, I’ve had an x-ray before, I know there’s no harm—but Sans is standing _right there_! You’re not even _trying_ to be subtle anymore!”

Sans hung his head. “sorry for telling you to come in.” But something was off in his tone. “if it makes you that uncomfortable, i can just go home.”

Alphys threw her clipboard at him. “You just got here!” Her exuberance and resolve to embarrass one or both of you had nearly eliminated her stuttering. “Plus, who’s idea w-was it originally?” He pulled his hood up over his face to hide how darkly flushed it had become.

“Wait, what?”

He shrugged. “i was curious how different a human skeleton looked. i mean… we’re mostly made of different things. it would make sense if we weren’t put together the same.” He jolted when he made eye contact with you. “it won’t be weird.” He assured you. You sighed and glared daggers at Alphys. She smiled back at you smugly, and you were sure the notes she was compiling were only half-way related to the science. You figured she was drafting her later post to S.S. Skelehuman while you pondered if this counted as being seen stark naked.

“Fine, I’ll have the damn x-ray.” You grumbled. “But only if someone can show me a monster’s x-ray, as well.” Your curiosity got the best of you—but when Alphys looked your way you realized you should have been more specific. “No, no, Alphys…” She grinned wickedly at you.

“Sans, do you volunteer as tribute?” She asked.

A crash sounded deeper in the laboratory, and she nearly jumped out of her skin and sprinted off. You knew better than to follow, so you just sat there. “What’s going on out there?” You asked him. He shrugged but didn’t say anything. His face was still mostly obscured by the plush hood and his ever darkening blush.

You felt a song bubble up in you—despite your best efforts, you hadn’t entirely gotten it all out of your system the night before. You had sung that morning in the shower, all the way through your morning ritual. You were afraid you’d go back to your old habit of singing without being aware of it. You found yourself wishing you’d worn your binder today; it would have made it impossible to sing without awareness. Now that [song](https://youtu.be/9OEKrSDm16U), brought to mind by your situation, began to bite at the inside of your mouth, and you bit back. 

Under your breath, you began to mumble the words to the chorus to the tune. “I won’t run from myself now, anymore. I won’t comfort myself now, anymore. I have nothing to hide but you can’t see me naked. I won’t bleed on the floor now here for you…” It wasn’t enough, you knew it by the returning pang that encouraged the words to continue. But you bit more aggressively at the song, letting it end there for now. You’d hoped you were incoherent enough for your words to not reach Sans. He gave no reaction, but you could feel him observing you. Before he could ask you what you’d said, as you feared he would, you asked a question of your own. “Were there any other things you wanted to find out about human bodies?”

He flinched. “well…” He fidgeted. “heartbeats are weird.”

So not only did he want to see you without skin, he also wanted to hear your heartbeat. He said it wasn’t awkward for him, but you weren’t so sure it wasn’t for you. Why, though? If there was any monster you’d feel comfortable pursuing knowledge with, without any awkward feelings whatsoever, it should be Sans, right?

Not at all. You’d seen him studying notes, and asking you scathing questions. Perhaps he’d not known what he was asking, but… when science was involved, Sans was a different skeleton entirely. You were sure he wasn’t fazed by the shipping shit-storm that whirled around you two. To quote a lovely song, “A hurricane’s eye is like the calm before the storm.” He was always so calm, so casual—until he was staring at some notes, and then those pinpricks would narrow, his phalanges would naturally come to rest on the back of his skull, and you’d hear that soft scraping noise. You were terrified he would wear through his skull eventually. And gods help you if that gaze fell on you. The thought of him staring at you like that while you were being x-rayed… “Sans, do I really need to do this? Aren’t there other files? Didn’t anyone x-ray one of the other humans?”

He looked away. “there are files on the other humans, but they were all postmortem. plus, his research aim was… different…”

“His? Who did that research?”

He looked like he’d said something he hadn’t meant to. “heh, it’s nothing.”

“Bullshit, Sans.”

Alphys chose that moment to come back in, flustered. “Let’s g-get on w-with this.” She said. “W-we’re gonna need to c-c-close up shop early today, so… Let’s just get this over with.”

You almost felt bad for her, except she was still very obviously trying to influence your lovelife. A lovelife that you didn’t really think you wanted right now, if ever. You were still healing from your last relationship (the scars on your thighs still hurt. The surface tissue had mended, yes, but… the healing was more than physical), and didn’t feel like it was fair to put your baggage on anyone else until you learned how to carry it alone. What was it that people said in a million ways? “To love another you must first learn to love yourself.” Some garbage like that—you just weren’t ready for what Alphys was constantly trying to set up.

You were sure Sans wasn’t particularly thrilled with it either. Especially since patrons had started cheering him on at Grillby’s, becoming more and more crude when drunk. On top of that, when you came into the lab today, he had grit his teeth and told you that Paps must have no sense of shame. You weren’t sure, but you figured that the taller skeleton had talked to Undyne about the date… which, any way you slice it, was bound to have hit the undernet by now, and the way he said it made you think that Papyrus had meant to do it. _I have my reasons._ He’d said.

“hey.” Sans waved in your face. “alphys has it set up. lay on the table.”

“Then we can all go home, right?”

Alphys wrung her hands. “A-actually, there are a f-few other tests I’d like to sound out to you… after this.”

You lay on the table and mumbled the chorus to the song again, to keep yourself calm, if nothing else. It didn’t help. You were glad you couldn’t see them looking at the x-rays. Again, your mind conjured an image of Sans staring intently at the images, his science-face fixed firmly in place. You cracked up when the Sans in your mind screamed out “[she _blinded_ me with _science_](https://youtu.be/nMWGXt979yg)!” and then you hastily tried to calm yourself down. 

“H-hey, you’re… moving around a lot.” Alphys said. “Are you hurt? Oh-god-did-the-machine-hurt-you?!”

“No, no, I just had a funny thought. Can I get up yet? The table is kind of cold.”

Suddenly, Sans was next to you. “you ok?” He asked quietly.

You giggled again. “Can you do me a favor? Yell the word ‘science’ in a frustrated way.”

He disappeared again, to your disappointment. “Fine then!” You called after him.

Alphys gave you a weird look. “Alright, well… d-do you mind if I put your x-rays on file?”

“Just don’t upload them to the Undernet.”

“c’mon shale, everyone already sees **right through you**.” Sans said from the other side of the room. He was adjusting a machine—a treadmill.

“Yeah, no. No they don’t.” You looked beseechingly at Alphys. “Can we move on, now? Going home sounds nice.”

She nodded. “We need to make it quick, though.”

“So what are we doing?”

“Well, we know that humans… have different reasons for basic functions than we do. Like breathing. You breathe heavier when exerted, correct?”

You nodded. “Yeah, it makes our hearts beat faster, too.” You added.

She smiled, “D-do you mind if I-I… have you run on a treadmill? I want to m-monitor your breathing… and your heartrate, if that’s okay?” Now that you weren’t speaking with blistering sass and actually talking like normal, she was beginning to talk how she normally did. “I’ll get the nodes.” She hurried off, forgetting that you hadn’t actually agreed to do this.

Five minutes later, and you were soaked in sweat and the data was collected. You were glad. You told them they’d never catch you dead on that damn thing again. Alphys offered the use of the lab shower, and you eagerly accepted. You didn’t have anything to change into, but Alphys kindly provided a tank top and shorts that must have belonged to Undyne. They were tight on you, and you asked Alphys for a spare lab coat. She provided, and you were guided to the shower and locked in. Whatever Alphys wanted to keep hidden, you assumed it was close.

Was it your imagination, or did you hear something?

Gods, no, let’s not do this. You hurried to the shower and turned it on. You hopped in and took the most amazing shower of your life, and again the ache persuaded you to [sing](https://youtu.be/cfZ6pHOCT08). “And my words will be here when I’m gone… as I’m fading away against the wind. And the scars you left me linger on as I’m failing again now, never to change this. You hadn’t realized you were singing until the chorus hit, and you found yourself smiling as you scrubbed at your body, careful of your still-sensitive scarring. “And I’m sympathetic, never letting on I feel the way I do as I’m falling apart again at the seam…”

You felt the ache lift, and you lost yourself it the words. If you had been paying attention, you might have had a bit of warning when the door burst open.

 

* * *

 

“S-so… Sans…” Alphys handed over the day’s notes. “About the… p-project.”

“you’re right, alphys. it’s not worth continuing.” Sans had to admit it was a relief. Now, though, he felt guilt for his original reaction to her shutting down the experiment. “paps would have been heartbroken if they died.”

She looked away. “He wouldn’t be the only one.”

He shrugged. In the silence, suddenly there was a desperate beeping noise. An alarm.

“O-oh! Sans, there’s a critical amount of magic coming from down here! Oh, god… help me check on the amal—“

“DARLING~” Mettaton barged in. “It’s such a wreck in here! Ah, where is the human, or is that what I’m hearing?”

“hearing?”

“How can you not hear it?”

Alphys looked at the alarm again and then back at Mettaton and Sans. “No time for that! That much magic being used—what if the amalgamates are trying to fuse together or… or…” She started crying. Sans grunted and headed off in the direction of the heavy flow of magic—but the closer he got…

“i hear it now.” He said.

Mettaton chuckled deviously. “ _That_ ’s where the magic is coming from. So much~! Sans, did you bond with them?”

Sans let out a startled and aggravated growl. “i’m gonna go check on the amalgamates.”

Mettaton only nodded and headed for the bathroom door.

 

* * *

 

“And it seems I’m alone here, hollow again… as I’m flailing—“

The door burst open and Mettaton let out a shriek of excitement. At that moment, you truly understood fear, and began flailing in earnest. Oh, gods, did you wish you truly were alone here.

“Darling~ you never told me what a divine voice you have!”

“Goddammit, Mettaton!” You screamed, afraid he’d pull the curtain back.

“Don’t pretend you’re not happy to see me again! And don’t scream so, you’ll ruin that beautiful sound.”

“Get out!” You screeched, even louder.

“On one condition. You’re going to help me with a little project I’ve been working on.”

“Fine, anything! Just… GET OUT!”

“My, my…” Mettaton retreated. “Such passion!” The door closed behind him, and you waited for your heart to calm its rampant rhythm.

You stepped out, realized you didn’t have a towel, and grumbled to yourself. You shook your head until your hair was sufficiently splayed, and you began pulling the borrowed clothes on over your wet body, feeling even more grateful for the labcoat. Tight clothes on a wet body—you almost looked like you were back from swimming.

You stepped out and were guided back to the entrance of the lab by Mettaton who was gushing about being excited to work with you. That was when it sank in: you had agreed to be on his show.

“Oh, darling, it will be beautiful! Just think about it, there are so many monsters unfamiliar with your face and name other than from that dreadful little website!”

“You say its dreadful, but I bet you’re going to check it tonight.”

“No denials. I love drama.” He admitted. “But, as for my current project! I was trying to figure out how I was going to portray this character, as I can’t get into the role. I have nothing in common with him!”

“Who? What?”

“My dear, have you ever seen Phantom of the Opera?” You sputtered. Of course you had! You knew every song, every moment of the movie had been ingrained in your memory. It was one musical you wished wholeheartedly that you could have participated in. Mettaton took your sudden incoherence as agreement. “Well, I’m making an Underground adaptation! I have most of the scenes already filmed. In fact, if you recall, I dressed as Christine for Dancing Day!”

You were suddenly immensely disappointed that you hadn’t placed it. “I KNEW YOU LOOKED FAMILIAR!” You yelled and tried to lift Mettaton to swing him around—and were surprised to discover that despite being made of metal parts, he was quite lightweight.

“Oh, my!” He laughed, and waited patiently to be put down.

“What part do you need me to play?” You asked, eyes intense as you gazed into Mettaton’s one exposed eye.

Now the robot looked nervous. “Well, I couldn’t get into the role… otherwise, it would be done by now…” He looked unsure. “And no one else could fit the part—how do you feel about the Phantom himself?”

Your jaw dropped. You pulled the flustered robot into a firm hug. You found you were on the verge of tears. “You have no idea how happy I am.” You admitted.

“B-before you get too excited, I want to see how much work we have ahead of us. Do you know any of the lines, the songs?”

“All of it.”

“Sing.” He insisted.

Your stomach dropped and you released Mettaton as if he were molten and stepped away. “I… don’t… I don’t know if I can.”

He sighed impatiently. “Let me be your Christine.” He moved forward. “Sing.”

You desperately wanted to, but you were put on the spot.

“whatcha doin.” You heard directly behind you, and you squeaked.

“Sans, make yourself useful and get my Phantom a drink!”

He raised his browbone in incredulity and then looked at you. “How long were you there?” You asked quietly.

Mettaton answered. “Long enough to see you lose your mind at the prospect of working for me.” He turned back to Sans. “Hurry on, now! I want to hear them sing!”

Sans gave you another look—was that regret?—and shuffled off. “Where should I start?” You asked in defeat.

“Hmmm… let’s be gentle then, for your sake.” He chuckled and then hummed. “How well do you know the [mirror scene](https://youtu.be/hrp84qF9biw)?”

Ah, the first appearance of the Phantom to Christine. You blushed—you knew it much better than you liked to admit. You drew several breaths, and forced your body to obey you. Your voice boomed when you finally let it forth. “Insolent boy! This slave of fashion basking in _your_ glory! Ignorant fool! This brave young suitor sharing in _my_ triumph!”

Mettaton looked pleasantly surprised, but went on his cue. “Angel~ I hear you, speak! I listen. Stay by my side, guide me. Angel, my soul was weak, forgive me. Enter at last, Master~”

It was your turn to be surprised. You had heard him sing before, but this was quite startling. The normally innocent Christine being portrayed by Mettaton… it somehow fit better than it should. You felt a swell of power, stronger than when you’d once practiced these very songs alone. “Flattering child, you shall know me. See why in shadows I hide… Look at your face in the mirror, I am there inside!”

You hadn’t noticed Sans returning until Mettaton was well into his lines. You kept to the persona of the dark, brooding phantom, luring Mettaton closer to you with your lyrical growl of “I am your angel of music. Come to me, angel of music.”

Mettaton fanned himself, breaking character. “You have the role.” He finally said. “But I’m concerned about something…” He turned to Sans. “That magic was definitely coming from them, wasn’t it?”

Sans nodded, giving you a sheepish look.

“What are you talking about?”

The skeleton fidgeted. “you give off magic when you sing. more of it if you really mean what you’re doing.”

The way he looked at you—into you, more accurately—made you feel naked. You realized that those times he’d studied you when you were humming, he had been seeing the focused energy you were putting into your Void. “Did I… give off a lot of magic?”

Mettaton replied this time. “Scared Alphys half to death, poor dear.”

You looked around for the reptile in question, but didn’t see her. “i uh, better go check on her, then.” Sans grunted and disappeared.

The robot spoke again, lacing his arm with yours. “Now, you remember how you and Sans used magic to make your… disturbingly gorgeous dragon? We’re going to see if you can use just your own magic to… resemble the Phantom. You won’t have to constantly focus on it, unless it’s a scene without a mask involved.” He began dragging you out the door. “Get that gorgeous vest of yours and meet me back here as soon as possible! We must begin filming immediately!” He floundered his hands about. “Oh! I _must_ call Muffet! The vest is lovely, but we must have _sooo_ much more~!”

 

* * *

 

The days flew by after that, song after song, you performed with Mettaton, eventually becoming quite at ease singing around him. You began to forget yourself when the two of you were relaxing, and you’d begin to hum. He would whirl around to look at you, over-dramatically as usual, and you would catch yourself. You wondered if your magic made a sound, but he assured you he just thought you were letting your voice go to waste.

Masquerade was the next scene, and you made a slight discovery. As most of the scenes had already been filmed with the exception of those including the Phantom, you found that every single character was being portrayed by Mettaton. It wasn’t necessarily a surprise; it was no different than the other musical you’d seen of his… but you felt the need to bring something to his attention, especially since the extra work was wearing him very thin.

“Mettaton, you’re going to burn yourself out. I really appreciate being in this work, but I think maybe… it would be easier for you if you invited someone else to co-star as well.” You had noticed that Mettaton absolutely detested playing the role of Raoul, Christine’s love interest to whom the Phantom was a foil.

  
He was trying to plug himself into an outlet, but was having trouble with depth perception. You assisted him the third time he missed. “Normally, I’d refuse. But you may have a point, darling.”

“The guy you have on cameras. What’s his name?” You’d seen that spark in his eye.

“Oh, no, not him. Can we get Aaron?”

“Hear me out. What is his name?”

“Burgerpants. He’s worked for me for a good many years, but… I can’t bring myself to let him—“

“Why is that?”

He growled and looked away. “I’m not sure. He’s just… high strung.”

You looked out of the room the two of you were in, saw the cat in question pacing the stage reverently. “Maybe this would help? It would certainly be less stress for the people who have to edit and compile footage. One less overlay, you know?”

“Yes, but who would man the camera?”

“Anyone. Seriously, Mettaton, just… let me talk to him.”

He let out an annoyed noise and collapsed onto the wall next to the outlet. “Fine. Leave me to recharge in peace, darling. Don’t let me regret this!” He called after you as you crossed the stage.

The cat jumped as if he feared for his life when he noticed you. He fled the stage and went back to the camera, pretending to work on its settings. You approached him and he looked at you, his face contorting in panic as his hands began to shake.

You introduced yourself politely, and he stared at you warily. “I know who you are, little buddy.”

That’s right. Everyone in the Underground knew who you were.

Five minutes of conversation, and you had a new friend. You discovered that he could act, and was decently voiced to sing, though he was worried that his voice might rasp a bit. You assured him that it would be fine if he just tried not to stress his voice. That meant giving up caffeine and cigarettes for now. He looked crestfallen, but nodded vehemently when you said it would be worth it in the end. He’d been waiting for this chance all along—it was the reason he’d started working for Mettaton in the first place.

That led to another problem: He had a seething hatred for his robotic overlord. You couldn’t fathom the darkest pits of loathing in his eyes. You asked if he would be able to put that aside—after all, his role would require him to not only interact with Mettaton’s character, but kiss the robot romantically. The cat turned green for a moment, remarking that he needed a smoke but he was fresh out… and then sighed. He worked himself up, and said he would do it. He still shook and his expressions were variant, each more unexpectedly insane than the last—but you couldn’t really blame him. You’d reacted in a similar way when you were offered the role of the Phantom.

“Do you have a real name?” You asked hesitantly.

“I hate it almost as much as Burgerpants.” He remarked. “Knowing Mettaton, he’ll put that on the credits, so what the hell. Just call me Burgerpants.”

You reluctantly agreed and went to tell Mettaton the news. He reacted with relief and, you noted with amusement, he seemed to be impressed.

Filming went even smoother than before. Although Burgerpants was suffering withdrawals from both caffeine and nicotine, he was wonderful to work with. He had amazing control over himself—he only once looked like he wanted to strangle Mettaton, and it was only after the cut. When he was in character, he was lit up from the inside out with absolute unflinching adoration for his seductively innocent childhood friend, Christine. Although some scenes had to be refilmed due to Burgerpants coming into the role late into production, no one seemed to mind.

The three of you working together made for an interesting experience—one you were sure you’d never forget. By the end of it, your two co-stars were no longer hurling insults and snide comments back and forth, but laughing and joking at each other’s expense leisurely. Your filming came to an end regretfully, and you found yourself feeling bittersweet about filming that final scene, your magic running wild, distorting your face without the mask, making your face seem swallowed by a maroon-tinged darkness that dripped down your face and onto your costume. Tears of magic, you realized later.

 

* * *

 

After filming ended, you were encouraged to come in for a wrap up party, which inevitably turned into you being on Mettaton’s talk show. You, Mettaton, and Burgerpants all sat in chairs, and Mettaton was the only one who looked comfortable. You and your feline friend exchanged worried glances as the show went live. Mettaton showed bloopers from filming, and you relaxed a bit. It was only promotional, then, you figured.

You were wrong, as after the promotional segment ended, Mettaton began to bring out the big guns. Burgerpants was ushered off stage, and the focus was now entirely on you. Mettaton spoke to the camera. “So our truly amazing Phantom here did all their own stunts! I wonder where they learned to use their magic~.” He made a flirtatious face at the camera and then looked to you for answers.

“I don’t… know?”

“Oh, darling, you must tell us how you discovered your magic!”

You shrugged. “You knew before I did.” You admitted, then remembered the event and before you could ask him to avoid the story, Mettaton began spilling it on live television, recounting how he’d barged into the bathroom while you showered, pouring your heart out into song (nigh literally) and gently coerced you into participating in the movie. You couldn’t have turned a brighter shade of crimson if you tried.

“I’m afraid we’re running out of time for today, lovelies~!" He blew the camera a kiss and posed sensually as he continued. “But we have one more guest star today, and a surprise performance from our dear Phantom!”

You realized you had obtained another nickname before you realized that the surprise performance was a surprise to you as well. You stammered, and Mettaton waved to the camera and then turned to you. “We’re on commercial break, darling. Sorry, I couldn’t resist making you perform tonight, you will have to forgive me eventually. Now, quickly, come backstage!” He dragged you off, and to your shock, you found Alphys standing by a machine hooked to a series of laptops and speakers manned by a ghost that you almost didn’t notice. They were wearing headphones and looked up at you with wide eyes.

Mettaton towed you to stand in front of the intimidated spectre. “Blooky, this is my Phantom. Phantom, my cousin, Blooky.”

You nodded, and recalled the party and the music. “Oh! You’re the one who made those mixes!” You enthused and sat down next to them, looking over the machines. “I really enjoyed your work!” You were a little too excited for them, as they leaned away, mortified by the interest and praise.

“Oh, it’s mostly just garbage I threw together it’s no big deal.” They replied softly, eyes downcast.

Mettaton hauled you back to your feet before you could protest Nabstablook’s self-depreciation. “You’ll have time to talk to them after you get your fine behind into this machine!” He said and shoved you into the tube-like chamber that Alphys was studying.

“What’s going on?” You protested.

“Just trust me darling! I have to get back out there. Alphys will explain. See you soon~!”

You looked at Alphys and Nabstablook. They stared back. Alphys chuckled nervously. “Alphys, what’s going on? What is this thing?”

“C-calm down.” She said. “I promise it won’t hurt you. It is built to m-monitor your soul waves when you sing.”

You stared at her in befuddlement. “Go on?”

“It… um, it will pull your memory of the song and transcribe it to Nabstablook’s software. They’ll mix it and you’ll have back up music. So… we need you to think of a song that you enjoy that you know very, very well.” She looked like she desperately wanted to request something.

You thought for a moment. What song that you knew well could you possibly feel comfortable singing in front of what you could only assume was the _entire Underground_ on a live feed. The more you thought about it the more panicked you became. You desperately tried to remember songs that gave you peace—and one finally came to mind. While the music in your head comforted you, you didn’t notice it begin to blare from Blooky’s speakers. They nodded to Alphys, and she did a happy little dance. You focused on the song, humming along. Yes, you could do this. You could do this.

It was only marginally coincidental that the song worked well with the movie you’d just wrapped up. You focused on everything exactly how you remembered it, recalling all the times you’d lay listening to the song, crying, singing, holding yourself in the dark. The album had helped you when you were topside with Him. Maybe it would help you now. The song ended, and Alphys ushered you out of the chamber with an excited look. “Oh, this is gonna be great!” She said, but there was mischief in her eyes and you wondered what her plan was.

Mettaton came back quickly, holding a garment bag and thrusting it at you. “I approve of this song, darling! It will be even better after Blooky mixes it and you sing it for us live! Now, go get dressed, and do try to relax a bit.” He winked and flew back out onto his set. Burgerpants had come to investigate. He gave you a hesitant thumbs up, a cigarette hanging from his chops. He looked at ease as he gave you words of encouragement. He guided you to a dressing room, and told you he’d be right outside if you needed anything. You took the garment out of the bag and groaned in frustration. If the robot had been in the room, you would have throttled him to death.

“Hey, BP!” you called. He poked his head in. “Find me something that’s not a dress, would you? I don’t care what it is as long as it covers my legs!”

He chuckled, seeing the [bodycon dress (with an incidental print) ](http://www.rebelsmarket.com/products/vividly-printed-black-white-stretchy-skeleton-bones-bodycon-minidress-43607)in your hand. He nodded and ran off, returning shortly with something casual you had left during filming. “Fits the song better, anyway.” He said and resumed his post outside. You changed, though it was hardly different from what you wore currently. You didn’t look bad, nor even very informal—you just looked like you were about to relax.

You felt more comfortable, and that was what mattered. Mettaton clucked at you for refusing the dress, but didn’t press the issue. Once again, you felt it wouldn’t be the last time he’d try, but you didn’t try to pick a fight—you had much more stressing issues on your mind as you were guided out on stage. Nabstablook gave you a reassuring look. “You’ll do great. I’m sorry if this isn’t as good as the original.”

“It’ll be stellar, Blooky!” Mettaton purred and thrust a microphone at you. “It’s already tested, just get ready.” He handed you a water bottle and you took a generous gulp in an attempt to calm your nerves. You noted Burgerpants setting up the camera, and you reminded yourself that aside from Nabstablook and Alphys, you were confident singing in front of everyone physically in the room. You tried to anchor yourself to that—and then the [music ](https://youtu.be/eoRxx9DmvnM)began.

It had been so long since you had sung to accompaniment and your heart ached with longing. The guitars melted perfectly into Blooky’s accommodations, and you found yourself breathlessly waiting for your cue to start singing. You had forgotten that performing for others felt this way. Your legs were like jelly, your eyes wouldn’t focus, but the feeling in your chest, in your stomach...

You felt alive.

 

“Could you be lost? Are you so free? Do you long to be? When the sun goes down, do you feel the feeling there’s no one near? You know it’s such a mystery how you washed up over me and I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t speak lest I drown. But it’s my kind. I’ll never be cruel and I’ll always play the fool to be loveless, as shameless as you. But I’m so blind. I’ll do it again, I feel your eyes sink in, so faithless as you’ve been! Yes, I’m so lost. I am not free, but I long to be. When life goes down, do you feel as though you’re gonna drown? You’re going down” In the background you heard the echo of your own voice complimenting your own, “You’re going down~ But it’s my kind. I’ll never be cruel and I’ll always play the fool to be loveless, as shameless as you. But I’m so blind, yeah! I’ll do it again, I feel your eyes sink in, so faithless as you’ve been!”

You felt the echoes and the pressure in your soul begin to build as you continued. “Yes, I’m so lost… But I’m not free. Yes I’m so lost… But I long to be.” Again the echo agreed, and you diverted from the original to belt out in raw emotion before sinking into the chorus again. You were aware that you’d been moving around the stage, as if that would alleviate the pressure in your chest.

As the song closed off, you felt it regretfully, and then the weight of the music leaving you almost made you crumble. Your legs were numb, and you felt like you’d been pleasantly turned inside out. You felt a smile on your face as you looked up into the camera. “Thank you!” You said and bowed, almost falling in the process. Mettaton came to close out the show and to help you stumble off the stage once the cameras were off.

“Alphys, did you get enough data?” Mettaton asked. “Because I think they’re broken from it.”

Alphys came to you, and you were indeed too exhausted to ask what data she’d gathered and why she hadn’t mentioned it before. “Y-you are probably very weak right now. I’ve n-never seen s-someone use that much…”

“You outshone me, darling~!” Mettaton drawled in your ear. “Gave us quite the scare when you almost nosedived off the stage when you bowed.”

You could only nod. The empty Void in your chest felt so pleasantly full, and it made your eyes water. That and the praise that continued to pour forth from all sides as Burgerpants and Nabstablook joined your huddle. Alphys handed you some candies and Burgerpants thrust another water bottle at you. Mettaton let you gently down on a couch. The candies helped a great deal, but you couldn’t keep your eyes open and you eventually fell asleep while everyone fluttered about around you. You couldn’t remember ever feeling so content in your life.

 

* * *

 

Sans glared at Undyne, contemplating straight up skewering her with bones and dragging her up and down the stairs face-first like a washboard.

Papyrus, Undyne, and he all sat down in front of the TV watching the live broadcast. He’d talked to you on the phone, but hadn’t seen you at the lab or even outside of the lab except fleetingly. He didn’t know what exactly was going on—but now that he saw you strutting across the stage, magic literally _pouring_ from your chest, whisping aimlessly around you and dispersing into nothing... and your _voice_ …

He tried so hard not to give any reaction, but Undyne spent the entire show’s endurance staring at him, grin so murderously wide he almost thought she was mocking him.

Now that the show was over, he excused himself, leaving Papyrus to enthuse with Undyne while he listened from his room. It didn’t take long for Papyrus to go back to making dinner and Undyne to start typing on her phone what was bound to be a post for that damned site. Left alone with his own thoughts, he began to wish he hadn’t answered Undyne’s insistence that he watch the show tonight. He could have been at the lab, studying. He could have been doing a million things—but sitting and thinking about you was not what he wanted to admit he was choosing to do.

Aside from the fascination of your soul—which, though difficult to see secondhand through the film, he could still make out, since you were all but wearing it on the outside during your stunning performance—he couldn’t help but notice your expressions, your eyes, the way you wobbled when you were done. He was worried—that was why his breath had caught. Expelling that amount of magic in so short a time was very draining—and for a human, he mused it could even be dangerous. Yes, he was worried for his friend.

You hadn’t felt safe singing for only him, though. It irked him. Why had you sung in front of the rust-bucket before him? Was he not insistent enough? Was that it?

Why did it matter? The question made him jolt and he took to studying his hand. What was it he felt? What was it he _truly_ felt?

 _Why did it matter?_ Sans’s hand curled into a fist, and he slumped over on his mattress, remembering the tune you’d both hummed together as he drifted into sleep.

 

* * *

 

You walked into Snowdin with a large amount of pep in your step. You weren’t too eager to go back home just yet, and found yourself wandering to the skelebros’ house out of habit. It wasn't even dawn yet. You had woken up after the performance with Mettaton telling you to go home and get some good rest, but you felt much too energetic right now to waste it cooped up where there was no fresh air. Snowdin, although cold, had trees. The air felt so crisp—and you understood now that you were feeling sensory details much clearer than you had for the past few months (hell, the past _year_!) because you couldn’t remember the last time you felt just how lovely it was to simply breathe.

You knocked on the door, and Undyne answered. She pulled you into a spine-crunching hug and you let out a squeak, your ability to breathe robbed from you. She dragged you into the house and shut the door with her foot. “YOU WERE AMAZING!” She screeched and began to noogie you.

“UNDYNE!” Papyrus came from upstairs. “PLEASE DON’T NOOGIE THE HUMAN!” He said after his initial blatant surprise to see you. He rushed forward to pull you into a crushing hug of his own, and you laughed with the little breath you managed to scrape into your lungs. “OH, I’M SO SORRY I MISSED THE FIRST FEW MINUTES OF THE SHOW BUT YOUR PERFORMACE WAS IMPECCABLE!”

Undyne roared with laughter as he reluctantly let you down to your feet. She grappled with him, and though he was taller than her by a few inches, she almost immediately had his head between her arm and torso and was viciously scrubbing her knuckles into his cranium. “Go get your brother so I can tell this punk all the things they’ve missed!”

“PLEASE DON’T NOOGIE THE SKELETON!” He cried out, and Undyne laughed uproariously as she released him. He sprinted upstairs to fetch Sans—or attempt to. The door was locked.

“So, you’ll never guess what happened!”

“What?” You asked curiously as Papyrus banged on Sans’s door and yelled for him to quit being a lazybones and get up to welcome you back.

She tugged you out of earshot. “The only interesting thing that happened is now the entire Underground is rooting for you!”

“What?” You deadpanned, becoming aggravated.

“Stay DETERMINED, punk!” You were beginning to regret coming over.

Papyrus came back downstairs glumly. “HE SAID HE DIDN’T FEEL LIKE COMING DOWN.” Undyne sprinted upstairs and kicked the door down while Papyrus keened that that was the seventh door this month.

“His room’s empty!” She called and bolted out in a rage. “NGAAAAH! He can’t hide from me!” You laughed as everyone ran around. You pulled your phone out and texted Sans.

 **you**  
_Knock knock._

It was a long moment before you got an answer. You sighed in relief.

 **snas**  
_who’s there?_

 **you**  
_Warsaw._

Again you played the waiting game, sitting on the couch.

 **snas**  
_warsaw who?_

 **you**  
_Warsaw matter? Cat got your tongue?_

The pause was longer this time, and you felt like maybe you’d done something wrong, although you couldn’t figure out what it was.

 **snas**  
_are they gone yet?_

 **you**  
_Yes. It’s safe._

Sans popped by and together you appeared in your living room. “it’s too early for this shit.” He remarked.

It was still pretty dark out, so you conceded his point. “Sorry. I just wanted to come by and see everyone. It’s been a while since we got to hang out.”

He nodded and sighed. Finally, he looked up, and you noticed his pinpricks were barely solid. They wavered. “are you okay?”

“Huh, I was about to ask you the same thing.” You chuckled. “I’m fine. Are you?”

He closed his eyes and nodded. “just… don’t burn yourself out, shale. i’m here if you ever need me.” He said, and then looked shocked that he had. He turned a brilliant blue and excused himself, popping out of existence before you could respond.

You weren’t sure what worried you more: the fact that he hadn’t even made a joke, or that he had been so rattled for whatever reason. It was a situation no different than the last time he’d told you he was there. He had said before that he would always be there if you needed him—what was different now?

You didn’t know, but the desire to find out filled you with DETERMINATION.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Methinks Sans is jeaaaalous.
> 
> If there's some inconsistencies, please bring it to my attention! There is only so much I can catch by myself, as I have no one to proof-read.  
> Maybe if we're all lucky, I can crank out another chapter in the next few days, but... no promises.
> 
> Also, I need a male human name. For reasons. One that is preferably not Jerry, I'm sure you'll understand. No, it's not for Reader's abuser, it's for... someone a little further back in history. You'll see. Trust me!


	11. We All Become

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey, who else loves the Transistor OST?
> 
> Also, the ending of this chapter is gonna have some feels. Jealous feels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone's interested, I will put links to songs Reader sings in this chapter. I don't wanna give spoilers, so that's all I can say right now. *glares at spoilers in tags*
> 
> Yeah, I always put hints of the next chapter in the tags. So, if you're ever curious, just check that out... That's why there are so many tags...
> 
> Edited: 4/16/16  
> Small changes, nothing absolutely major.

It was a day like any other, and that alone should have tipped you off that something was going to go wrong. You had been here for too long already to forget that things change so quickly and suddenly—and usually only when you are comfortable with how things were.

Alphys was trying to study your soul, to see if she could figure out what made you capable of manifesting your magic, and what exactly it was doing. You had admitted that it hadn’t become substantial until recently, and the both of you mused that perhaps your being Shale, thus being heavily wrapped in monster magic for a long period of time, might have influenced this.

She was close enough to touch your soul but avoided doing so. You weren’t sure why. She put her hand out to move your soul back toward your chest—and Sans popped into the room with a hysterical cry. You would have heard it, had Alphys not curled her fingers into a fist around your soul in her startlement. You screamed in absolute agony and the world went black.

 

* * *

 

You opened your eyes and looked around. Your soul was back in your chest, and the pain had subsided. You pushed yourself out of the chair you had been in, stretched, and felt the string of pops and cracks as your joints protested. How long had you been out?

“Hey! Anyone there?!”

Your stomach growled—and you swear you heard something growl in answer from outside. You flattened yourself to the door and didn’t move. You didn’t hear it again, but you were not any less uneasy. You opened the door a crack and looked out. The infirmary was dark—all the lights were off, save for the dull back-up fluorescents.

Nothing moved, there were no sounds. That made you even more frightened—it was as if you could feel something else watching you, something that was just as afraid of you as you were of it.

You heard a loud crashing _thud!_ from deeper in the lab—and recognized it. It had been something fairly common, working in the lab. It was always what would prompt Alphys to go out and check on something. You weren’t sure if you should go check on it—after all you were no scientist, and Alphys had always insisted that you stay where she left you.

A warbling and pained howl met your ears and you found yourself shaking. You could _feel_ the pain. It was so… intensely magic. You almost couldn’t move, but you realized that whatever was in this much pain was coming closer, and felt much worse than you right now. As it approached, the pain you could feel radiating from it built, and you collapsed on the floor. You focused on your sensory, trying to tell yourself the pain wasn’t real—that it wasn’t _yours_ \-- but you couldn’t help but let out a pained cry in unison with the creature that stood in front of you now.

Massive. That was the first word that came to mind. White, massive, and—

It howled and lay down in front of you. You felt emotions hitting you, so many, all of them conflicting, all of them wanting something.

 _ ** ~~Fo~~ o ~~d~~.** _ was the most resounding thing you could identify. How were you able to understand this creature with a hole for a face? No speaking, nothing—just a feeling that you could understand what they wanted—what they _needed_.

You remembered the bag of dog food in the front lab, and a staggering understanding dawned on you. “Oh, gods…” your breath left you, and you struggled to bring more in. Tears pricked your eyes, and you reached out and touched Endogeny (Yes, you knew. They wanted you to know. They wanted you to help.), finding them to be sticky. A whine escaped the face-hole, and you felt them curl closer to you.

Another creature poked their head around a corner, garbled chirping speech piercing your ears as they came into view. They stood, and you craned your neck to see them. They slouched, as the ceiling touched their head. Reaper Bird, you felt the name come to you. You couldn’t breathe enough through the pain to say hello, but they lay across two of the infirmary beds, staring at you curiously, letting out garbled screeches of words that merged together.

Endogeny nudged you, and you pet more firmly. They let out a happy noise that made you shudder. _**FR ~~iE~~ Nd** _they dubbed you, wriggling against you.

The pain was beginning to ebb away, and you breathed deeply, smelling something like the back of a refrigerator. You looked around, and saw another monster studying you carefully a few arms’ lengths away. Mrs. Drake, you ascertained, and offered a weak greeting. She was barely held together, and your immediate impulse was that you wanted to give her a hug—however, pinned as you were under Endogeny, it wasn’t really possible.

Not that you could get up anyway. As yet another monster appeared, you felt a fresh wave of pain. You wondered if they were literally held together with agony. Memory Head, you dubbed them, and yet again couldn’t greet them in turn. You also couldn’t help but stare, as you tried to understand exactly what you were looking at. You almost began crying when a final creature approached you, speaking in unison with themself, in multiple voices, each drowning the others out. The resounding sound made you put a hand over your ear. Lemon Bread. “Saw you sing.” It repeated over and over, and you shrank. Did they mean in the shower, or on TV? You didn’t feel it mattered. “Sing with me? Sing with me?”

You didn’t know what to sing, but to your relief, they began singing the song you’d sung on TV. You sang along, hesitantly at first, and then stronger when you felt the approval of the others. You closed your eyes and continued to sing, that song stretching into another, and then another. Had you opened your eyes, perhaps you would have understood why they had all fallen silent. Russet magic flowed into each of them, slowly and languidly at first, and then heavier as they accepted your magic. The pain began to disperse with your energy, and, drained at last, you fell asleep with your head rested on Endogeny’s back.

 

* * *

 

“shale! oh, god, kid please wake up! **wake up**!”

“This is all my fault! Please, don’t do this to me!”

You opened your eyes to see Sans and Alphys standing over you. The others had gone away.

“Where’d they go?” You asked, your voice husky from sleep and use.

Alphys looked sick. “They?”

“My friends.” You said it confidently and looked around. You could feel the pain radiating deeper in the lab. “They’re hurt.”

Sans and Alphys exchanged looks. Sans’s pinpricks were whisping into heavy mist as he looked back at you and pulled you off the floor in a crushing hug. “don’t scare me like that.” He whispered into your shoulder.

Alphys began crying, and came closer. “I’m so sorry, did they hurt you?”

“No!” You denied. “No, they… they were hurt and scared…”

“I… d-didn’t have time to warn them I would be gone. I skipped their meal time… I’m so terrible!” She wailed and tried to make herself as small as she could.

“alphys.” Sans growled. “there will be time for that later. i think you owe shale an explanation.” He looked at you. “and _you_ need to tell us what happened. you are almost completely drained.” You felt tears in your eyes. He helped you to your feet and walked you get to a bed to sit down on. You told them about what happened, how you had sung until you passed out on Endogeny, and Alphys went to check on the amalgamates after your story. Sans sat down next to you. “you’re either really brave or really stupid.” He growled.

“Maybe a bit of both.” You admitted.

He shook his head. “they don’t want to hurt you, you know that, right?”

You nodded. “They feel so much, Sans. More than you can imagine.”

He didn’t respond, just looked at you. “you could have died. you know that?”

“Sans, they didn’t attack me. None of them did.”

“they wouldn’t have to.”

Alphys came back. “Sans. You need to see this.”

He sighed dismally and followed her. You got up and tried to stumble after them, but he used his magic and flattened you to the bed, leaving you pinned there as he went off after her. “Goddammit, Sans!” You called weakly, but could barely breathe with his magic crushing you down. When you stopped resisting its pull, it faded away, and you lay there, sighing angrily. Something warm touched your head, stroking your hair, and you turned your head to see, but only caught a glimpse of grey that disappeared before you could see anything more.

Sans and Alphys came back, silent enough to make you feel like something was very wrong. You sat up and looked at them. Alphys spoke. “I owe you an explanation…” She looked at Sans, who grunted and handed you a file full of notes. “Since… it is difficult t-to talk about it… do you mind reading it, instead?”

You nodded, and opened the file, deciding not to tell them about the figure that had tried to comfort you. You didn’t want to be banned from the infirmary, especially now that you understood why it was still here, and made up. “What happened this morning?”

Alphys looked down at her feet. “I’m s-sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your soul.”

“I’m fine, aren’t I?”

Sans sat down next to you again. “it put some strain on your soul, did a bit of damage, but you seem to be healed up now. probably from sleeping.”

You nodded. “But what _happened_? All I remember is you barged in and then I passed out.”

He looked sheepishly. “you know cinnamon? the bunny with the shop in snowdin? she went into labor, and I had to come get alphys.”

You nodded. That certainly explained a bit.

You read the file carefully, pausing to ask questions every now and then, which Alphys answered with varying degrees of discomfort. When you got to the notes about Flowey, you almost told her about your meeting him, about Papyrus’s meeting him—but thought better of it. Now was not the time. The amalgamates—your _friends!_ \-- were hurting and you needed to find a way to convince her to let you help them.

“Alphys, why don’t you want me near them?”

She looked at you like you had told her you wanted to swallow a rock. “You’re not a-afraid of them?”

“Maybe I was at first, but they…”

She shook her head. “I don’t understand…”

“Look, I want to help them. Tell me what I can do?”

“There _isn’t_ a way to help them. Other than Mettaton and Sans, you are the only one who knows.”

Sans shrugged. “don’t take it too hard. i… wasn’t supposed to know.”

You didn’t know what it meant at first. “Dreams?” You whispered, and he nodded. From the talks you had had, you knew that the word "dreams" wasn't that accurate, but getting him to divulge more information was dangerous, especially when you weren't alone. You sighed and turned back to Alphys. “So there’s no way to help?” She tried to affirm that, but you cut her off. “You’re lying to me, Alphys. Stop it.”

“W-when I went to ch-check on them just now… Lemon Bread wanted… to talk t-to you, and… they… they all talk better now… and Endogeny’s legs support them again…”

“And?”

“Mrs. Drake… she said she doesn’t hurt as much.” Alphys looked closer to tears.

“Why were you going to lie to me when I obviously did something right? What did _they_ do to deserve that?”

She flinched, and you lowered your tone. You hadn’t meant to be harsh, but she was hurting them with her fears. “I… didn’t want you to be scared.”

“Look, Alphys, I felt a lot of things that weren’t mine. I don’t usually do that—and I don’t know exactly what I did to help them. Rather than be afraid I’ll hate you for making mistakes, why don’t we see how much I help I can be, figure out what it is, why it helps? I’m sure they’d thank you for it, and it might be relevant to what we were trying to figure out anyway.”

She nodded finally, and you saw that she was crying. “So you don’t hate me? You don’t think I’m gross?”

You got up, and this time Sans didn’t stop you. You pulled Alphys into a hug aggressively. “I don’t hate you, Alphys. You need to learn to trust the people that care about you.”

Her arms went around you and she buried her head in your chest, sobbing and shaking.

Sans made a startled noise, and you turned your head to see what was happening. Reaper Bird peeked around the corner again and made a small, still unintelligible noise. You could hear the word “Friend” in there somewhere, you thought. You gave them a smile, and they turned and went back to the other amalgamates.

“Give me three days with them, Alphys.” You pleaded. “If nothing else, maybe it can take away some of their pain.”

She nodded. “I owe them so much for what I did to them. I owe _you_ so much. I’m so sorry.” You gave her a reassuring squeeze before letting go of her and stepping back.

“You don’t owe me a thing, but don’t try to take me away from them.” You said. “It won’t work.” You smiled, trying to get her to see you as you began to joke. “I’ll crack all the keypads. All your base are belong to me. Lemme get some lockpicks.”

Sans chuckled softly, and Alphys just looked up at you, a thankful smile wobbling on her face as she suppressed yet more tears.

“And while I’m working on that stuff, why don’t you go get that chamber thing? It might be some help. I think I might teach Lemon Bread a few songs from the surface, using it.”

She nodded. “They’d like that.” She said.

“Get me a dogbrush, too. I know they’re kinda… goopy, but… it’s the thought that counts?”

She laughed. “Yeah, you remember the f-first time you were down here? Your purse of money that Toriel gave me… Endogeny ate it, and I had to find it. I put the gold in a different bag because the original one… ehh, well it w-wasn’t s-salvageable.”

You couldn’t help but laugh. “So, what happens in the best-case scenario?”

She froze. “Well, they would become singular beings again…”

“How long have they been like this?”

“Years. Many… many years…”

You nodded thoughtfully. “Alphys, there’s no promise that they’ll be able to separate.”

Your words scared her. “W-we won’t know till we try.”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.” You admitted, “Take it one day at a time.”

“B-best case scenario… they are able to go home to their families again.” She said finally.

You nodded. “And that’s a goal I can work towards. Can I go see them?”

Despite the talk you’d both just had, she seemed hesitant. Sans insisted on coming with you as you nearly dragged her to where they were. You didn’t need to be led along, you could still feel them. After Alphys’s request, Sans brought a clipboard, and Alphys began taking notes of everything you’d said. When you arrived where the amalgamates were still eating, they all looked up at you and spoke over each other excitedly, except for Endogeny (who hopped around a bit) and Mrs. Drake (who smiled at you kindly but couldn’t speak very well, especially over the others).

The pain they exuded was muted in comparison to what it had been, and you talked to them, trying to get the gist of what their responses were, relying more on what you _felt_ than what you heard. That seemed the easiest way. Alphys asked what you were doing, and you just shrugged. You said that perhaps you’d always been a sort of empath, but never to this extent. You chalked it up to being wrapped in monster magic for a week, much to Sans’s surprise. When you were busy talking to the amalgamates, unable to hear him, he edged closer to Alphys and told her about the notes he’d taken that week, and assured her that he’d bring them for her to study.

If you hadn’t been so drained from singing earlier, you would have tried to do it again, just out of curiosity. You wished someone would give you more of those candies—your thoughts were cut off by Sans handing you a bag of popato chisps. You took it gratefully and began munching.

As the two of them studied you and the amalgamates, you felt a surge of Determination. You had to help them. You felt a wave of emotion, of protectiveness, for these creatures you had known for less than a day. Other humans had always called you naïve, too trusting… too easily attached. It was a curse on their lips, constantly flung at you—but perhaps it had always been a side-effect of something good. Something humans couldn’t appreciate fully. If your trusting, loving nature could heal these monsters, you didn’t care if you somehow got hurt in the process. You didn’t care if it would take every ounce of your energy. You were going to help them!

 

* * *

 

The days went by, as days do. Your voice was getting stronger, your confidence, too. The amalgamates began changing, with varying degrees of suddenness. They didn’t separate into different entities, but you felt like it wasn’t something they wanted to do. They had been together, as one being for so long… it felt wrong and empty to try to be apart. They were afraid to be alone, and any time Alphys encouraged them to try, they gave vehement denials that they would.

Mrs. Drake had shown a most startling amount of progress on the first day, when she began to talk to you about her son fondly. You remembered encountering him in passing a few times on the way through Snowdin, and told her that he looked well. She had shaped up rapidly over the next night, and you could swear you heard her singing what sounded like a lullaby to herself that night before you left. Your heart tugged for the sweet monster, knowing that she was remembering her son. How long had it been since she’d seen him? How much had he grown? You didn’t want to ask, as you were afraid it would upset her, and perhaps slow her already miraculous amount of recovery.

They were speaking much easier by day two. Lemon Bread had been difficult to understand for a while. Their voices quit being in unison, and began to overlap each other in separate ideas, separate feelings, much like Reaper Bird, but more aggressively. It ended up with them trying to separate, tearing at each other, even as they shared the same body. You had, in a panic, had Sans wrap them in magic as you talked them down from their rage. Since then, they had an uneasy truce, and took turns trying to speak. It got easier, especially when music was involved, and by day three, you had Lemon Bread singing Utada Hikaru songs, much to Alphys’s delight. 

Endogeny was increasingly more and more bold and frisky. They would climb the walls and let out joyous and distorted barks everytime they saw the fur brush—and after the third day, you found that the goop was imitating fur. Sure, it was still insanely sticky, but they were finally starting to become solid. You may have cried a bit, then—but no one could tell, since your face was covered in stage two happiness froth.

Memory Head and Reaper Bird began challenging each other to sing and dance. Alphys had told you that Memory Head didn't have a family to return to anymore-- but hadn't explained why. When you saw the two amalgamates interacting the way they were, you hoped that they would continue to interact if they were introduced to the rest of the Underground again. You couldn't stand the idea of Memory Head being alone in the world, but your fears were dashed when the two of them started picking on each other, Memory Head talking though the Chamber. At first, you thought it was an argument, but you felt there was something more there, similar to how Undyne always called Alphys a nerd. There was a gentleness to it, and you found yourself smiling.

The fourth morning, Reaper Bird had begun chanting at you when you arrived, voice clear and singular. “Song Bird!” You realized after a moment that they were giving you a name. Memory Head and Lemon Bread took up the call as well, rushing forward to greet you. Alphys came down to see what the commotion was, and found you crying, hugging the creatures as they collectively glomped you. After an hour of singing to them with the accompaniment provided by the Chamber Alphys had designed, and your encouraging them to sing along or do other small participations (whether it be barking, or even just moving along), you let Alphys drag you into the old testing room. She spoke softly. “You h-have quite a few n-nicknames.”

You laughed, the tears threatening again, but you bit them back. Unable to speak, you just nodded happily.

“I… wanted to thank you. I think they’re finally ready to go back to their families.” She looked away. “But I’m… just afraid. I’m afraid that their families won’t understand.”

“Nonsense, Alphys! Look, I’ll be there, too, won’t I? To support you _and_ them!”

She flinched. “I don’t want any misplaced anger directed at you.”

You glowered at her. “Alphys, remember what I said before? Think about what’s fair for them. Think about what’s fair for _me_. I understand you don’t want me getting blame from your mistake—but can you really call it that? Look at them, Alphys! They’re _alive_ , which is more than could be said before you did it.”

She shook with sobs. You gave her another hug, sighing. “I’m sorry, I’m so p-p-pathetic.” She keened.

“Stop with that, or I call Undyne.” She stiffened. “You haven’t told her yet?” She shook again. “You should tell her.” You remarked calmly. “Or better yet, just bring her down here to meet them. Call it a test run. See how they react to other monsters right now… so that way we can work to introducing them back to all the other monsters.”

She shook. “B-but Undyne…”

“She’s not gonna hate you either and you know it. She has been waiting for a long time to know this stuff, you know. You’re not as good at lying as you think you are.” You looked into her eyes and chuckled playfully at her startled expression. “So quit doing it. You’ve got people all around you who love you. I don’t know if you know this, but all of those monsters in there love you, too. They trust you.” That did it, she was wailing into your coat, and you chuckled again and held her tighter. “Also, could you discontinue that website?” She laughed against you, and muttered something, but you both knew you weren’t being serious. It didn’t matter anymore. Even if the website discontinued, after the movie came out, you were an Underground sensation. Removing S.S. Skelehuman would do nothing, with the dozen other imitations that have popped up, some of which shipped you with other denizens of the Underground.

Mettaton was calling you every day to ask when you could come out for another performance, but you had been too drained to make any promises. When Alphys had told Mettaton what was happening, he came by and put on a show for the amalgamates, forcing you to join in. They had a blast, you could tell, and that made it very worth it, aside from the fact that it was honestly fun to perform with Mettaton again. He offered his support as well, saying that he was going to start planning a tour, and each of them and their families got free admission. Mrs. Drake talked about it all day, saying that Snowy would be so excited.

When Undyne came to meet everyone, after the initial astonishment, she and Lemon Bread got in a flexing competition, and she remarked that she couldn’t wait to see everyone’s faces. Yet another person was going to be there for support, and you could tell Alphys was relieved about it.

 

* * *

 

It was quite the party, all things aside, when Alphys finally invited the families to the lab. Mettaton performed for everyone and extended the invitations for the tour. Through all the tears and joy (and a bit of understandable shock), everyone agreed. Undyne had indeed showed up for the occasion (to make sure no one did a violence against Alphys, though she needn’t have worried).

That night, the lab was empty—all of the amalgamates had gone home with their families. Those with multiple families would probably bounce between them, or perhaps they would all join families. No one could make solid plans yet, as the shock was still fresh. As you, Undyne, and Alphys all sat together in the dark, quiet lab, Alphys chuckled nervously and turned to you.

“Uh, d-do you want to move in now?” She asked, jokingly. "It would keep you from having t-to walk so much."

Undyne stretched. “It is kinda creepy here, now…” She said. “If it wasn’t so far from work, _I’d_ offer to come stay.”

You butted in. “I make the walk all the time!” The idea of the lovebirds living together made your stomach flutter. It would be too cute.

“You use the River Person’s service most times. I don’t!”

“So what? You always brag that you can run through Waterfall faster than anyone!”

“But… Hotland.” She said shyly, and then looked at Alphys. “If it’s okay, I _guess_ I’ll think about it.”

You smiled despite yourself. “Who knows, you might be useful here, and Papyrus can just take over full time.”

She nodded, and she and Alphys exchanged a look that made you want to excuse yourself. “Uh, you two have fun. I think I’m gonna go home.”

Undyne started and looked at you. “Hey, would you mind going by Papyrus’s house and telling him what’s up? I’ll tell him later, but… they’re gonna be watching that movie tonight, and no offense, but I’m not really interested in it.” She looked at Alphys. “Let’s go watch hentai!” Alphys turned scarlet and tried to hide from your view as you and Undyne laughed. You excused yourself, wondering what Undyne had meant by “no offense.”

When you got to the Skelebros’ house, you could hear Papyrus yelling at Sans before you even opened the door. You knocked, but no one answered. You supposed they hadn’t heard you knock—and so you opened the door and walked in. Papyrus was banging on Sans’s door. “LAZYBONES, GET OUT HERE RIGHT NOW AND WATCH THIS MOVIE! THE HUMAN IS IN IT, AND SO IS METTATON! I REALLY WANT TO SEE IT, AND EVEN THOUGH YOU KEEP SAYING YOU DON’T, I KNOW BETTER!” He was getting more and more frustrated, and his volume strained louder—a feat you hadn’t imagined possible. “SANS GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!”

You doubled over laughing. Papyrus cursing was quite possibly the most ridiculous thing you’d ever heard. What was even more ridiculous was that he turned around, saw you laughing, and flushed before rushing into his own room. Sans peeked out of his door, seeing you collapsed in jubilation at the door, and stepped out.

“heh heh, i didn’t know i _had_ one.” He winked at you and disappeared to reappear next to you, helping you to your feet, though you couldn’t stand very well. You were still laughing too hard. “what brings you here?”

“Undyne asked me to deliver some news.”

He put his hand on the back of his cranium, looking sheepish. “sorry i didn’t show up today. i, uh wasn’t exactly invited.”

The lab had been pretty full anyway, and you knew Sans wasn’t particularly fond of crowds. You shrugged. “Mettaton performed, the amalgamates went home to their families, and Undyne is considering moving in with Alphys.” You summarized, watching the surprise on his face at the last detail. Palpable relief washed over him, and you laughed. “So what have you guys been doing?”

“paps is trying to get me to watch that movie you were in. it just came out, and he bought the first copy. just wait, he’ll ask you to sign it, guaranteed.” He sounded disgruntled.

“Yeah, I know you don’t really like Mettaton. I won’t be disappointed if you don’t want to see it.” You said. “Burgerpants is in it too.”

“i know.” He said quietly. “i…”

Papyrus exploded from his room, dressed in a crop top and shorts. You smiled up at him as he barreled down the stairs. “HUMAN, THANK YOU FOR COMING BY! WILL YOU STAY TO WATCH THE MOVIE WITH US?”

“Uhhhh... That might be weird.” You said.

“NONSENSE! METTATON WATCHES HIS OWN PROGRAMS, WHY CAN’T YOU?!”

Not for the first time, you found yourself mentally begging Mettaton for an explanation for his vanity. It didn’t bother you, really. You’d seen enough of him off camera to know how soft-hearted and even… _vulnerable_ he was. He was happy with his body, but his mind—he sometimes had bouts of self-destructive thoughts that reminded you of your own. It was one of the reasons he had grown to trust your suggestion to let Burgerpants into the cast.

“I suppose I can’t argue with the Great Papyrus.” You said in defeat and headed for the couch. Sans followed you.

“I MUST MAKE MORE SPAGHETTI! WHEN IS UNDYNE COMING HOME?”

You froze. “About that. I don’t know. She and Alphys are… spending some time together. She might end up staying with Alphys for a while. Perhaps… permanently?”

He sighed in relief. “UNDYNE IS AN AMAZING FRIEND, BUT SHE IS SO DESTRUCTIVE! I’M NOT SURE HOW MANY COUCHES AND DOORS WE’VE HAD TO REPLACE SO FAR…”

You chuckled at him, and he returned to the kitchen.

Sans spoke softly. “so, this thing with your voice magic. none of us know what it is, yet. at first we thought it was determination, but…” He shrugged. “it must be something we haven’t seen yet. it might be a step in the right direction, y’know? if we can understand human souls, perhaps we can find a way to break the barrier.”

You nodded. “Do you have any theories on what it could be?”

He shook his head. “it might have something to do with the color of your soul. it’s… sometimes it’s more reddish purple, and sometimes its just murky red-brown, like… like there are too many things warring with it. but then you’ll tire yourself out somehow and it’ll lose so much color…” He sounded upset by it, like it scared him.

You cocked your head at him curiously. “You spend a lot of time staring at my soul, don’t you?”

He blushed, and you tried to figure out why. The idea of him, blinded by science, staring into your soul while taking notes made you blush too. Was it because of how cold his gaze looked? Was it because it felt piercing, and yet…

“shale?” He whispered, and you realized you’d just been staring into his sockets. You shook yourself and sank back into the couch.

“Sorry about that.” You muttered.

You were settled between Sans and Papyrus, each of you with a plate of spaghetti, as the movie started. It was close to the human rendition of the movie, except there were no black and white scenes depicting an aged Raoul on his way to the cemetery. Papyrus was estatic at the first glimpse of Mettaton, and the second, and third. You found yourself chuckling at the multitude of Mettatons running around the stage, dancing, singing, showing off in general. You weren’t sure which persona fit him more: Carlotta, the prima donna, or Christine, the modest flower. He was neither and both, and that made you smile.

You smiled at Burgerpants’ first appearance, remembering how shocked you’d been when he strutted out in that tux, looking suave and debonair. His hands had barely quaked and he had gone through his lines flawlessly. It was almost impossible to shake him, and the only retakes and bloopers had been from either you or Mettaton trying desperately to rattle him and still stay in character. When your first scene came on, both of them jumped and looked at you, startled. You pointed to the screen, as if to remind them that you hadn’t said anything just now. Papyrus shuddered during the song, especially when Mettaton began hitting his insane amount of high notes. The tall, flustered skeleton’s bones began to rattle, and you glanced at him in concern.

As the movie wore on, you found them both to be extremely invested in it, to your amusement. Papyrus, you could understand, but _Sans_ was entirely enraptured. You occasionally glanced at him, until he pulled up his hood to obscure his mostly blue face. You chalked it up to not wanting to admit he liked Mettaton’s singing, and being embarrassed that you would bring it up later. You wouldn’t, you silently promised him, and turned back to the screen.

Papyrus had nearly screamed with delight when “All I Ask of You” ended with Mettaton and Burgerpants kissing passionately and exiting the scene happily. Then, you as the Phantom had come from the shadows, and you felt him cast a nervous glance at you next to him. His eyes were apologetic. You laughed. “It’s just a movie, Paps, I’m okay.” You told him, as your screen counterpart began to cry bitterly. When the Phantom cried out his contribution to the song, you felt Sans startle next to you, and you thought perhaps he had fallen asleep and the sudden change of volume had woken him. You looked at the screen and saw that, along with your tears, there was magic flowing from under your mask, whisping around it, consuming the skin beneath it, giving you a look not entirely unlike a devil.

Did it frighten him? No, you saw him studying the screen intently, but he sighed in defeat. He couldn’t see your soul through so much editing, he could just feel it from your singing.

The rest of the movie passed with you explaining things to Papyrus, until your favorite part approached. You remembered you and Mettaton had tried to make each other very uncomfortable before this scene, in an attempt to not feel so awkward when it came time to film it. The two of you didn't want to bust out laughing on set, so you had practiced the scene again and again, trying to get the emotions right, and getting all the giggles out of the way. As the Phantom came out to greet Christine and sing “Past the Point of No Return”, you saw a mirrored look of lustful mischief on both of your faces, even though yours was mostly obscured by the mask. When the song led to you embracing, leaving touches that would normally be ticklish but now were only sultry, sinful promises, you glanced nervously at Papyrus, who looked curiously on, and then at Sans, whose sockets were entirely dark, his face so heavily covered in dark blue that you became worried.

“You okay?” You whispered to him, and he looked at you, the pinpricks more solid than you’d ever seen them. His eyes bore into your soul, and he sighed in relief, looking back at the screen with a sigh of relief.

“yep.”

Your favorite part drew near, and you leaned forward, happy to see how it had gone. Your mask had been discarded, and the three of you sang over each other in a mass that would be confusing had you not heard and sung it so frequently. The Phantom had Raoul pinned by his neck, bargaining his life for Christine’s love—and when Christine chose the Phantom, Papyrus began to ask why, but was immediately silenced by Sans, who looked in horror as Christine began to heatedly and passionately kiss the Phantom. His pinpricks now resembled saucers as he looked at you. You shrugged. “Acting?” You reminded him.

“YOU’RE VERY GOOD AT THAT!” Papyrus commented, and you wondered if he meant kissing or acting. You hoped very sincerely that it was the latter. Gods, this got awkward quickly! The movie wrapped up, and you answered all of Papyrus’s questions. When Sans tried to sneak off, you just grabbed his arm and held him there. He couldn’t even take a shortcut, you knew—not without taking you with him. His eyes were still completely filled with light, but he was staring at nothing, as if he were in shock.

“Well… I need to get back home. Recover all my energy, now that I won’t be pouring all my magic out all the time.” You said. “Sans, would you like to walk me home?”

“OF COURSE HE WOULD! HE NEVER HELPS ME CLEAN UP AFTER DINNER, SO HE HAS NO EXCUSE NOT TO!” He said, and pushed the two of you out of the kitchen. You gave the tall skeleton an odd look and he smiled gently down at you.

Sans had said Papyrus must not have a sense of shame—now you understood.

“Oh, gods, Paps, not you too!” You whined. He beamed and turned back to the pile of dishes in the ridiculously tall sink. Sans dragged you to the door before you could complain further. He wasn’t quick enough. “Et tu, Pap?!” Sans couldn’t help but laugh as you hurriedly pulled your shoes back on. Before you could even reach for the door, he threw his jacket at you and opened the door himself. You hitched an eyebrow at him, but figured he was just trying to save time. You slipped into the warmth, putting the hood up, and stepped out into the intense chill. You were getting used to the constant changing temperature, but it was somewhat nice to be reminded that you were cared for. You snuggled into the coat, humming happily. The two of you began walking. You turned to look at him, “So did you like the movie?”

“crazy looks nice on you, but you’re a little less… creepy like this.” He gestured to you.

You laughed. “Was that a backhanded compliment?”

He shook his head. “i just can’t imagine what it was like to actually do all that stuff.”

“Acting.” You reminded. “I didn’t kill anyone, I didn’t become obsessed with Mettaton. The only thing I can’t deny is that I didn’t realize I was leaking magic everywhere throughout the whole movie.”

He chuckled. “you got too into character, huh?” He asked. “you looked like you were enjoying yourself a lot, there at the end.”

“Yes, it was my favorite part of the whole movie!” You gushed, and he looked at you, his pinpricks solid and narrow again. “Wait, are we talking about the same thing?”

He closed his eyes and gave a half-hearted chuckle. “i guess.”

You were silent, trying to figure it out, and you remembered his reaction to the kiss. You began laughing. “Oh, gods, _no_! Not that!” He looked shocked. “No, my favorite part wasn’t kissing Mettaton. It was the song, the emotion! That part of the movie is so charged, so full of energy.”

He nodded, not entirely convinced. He muttered, “why does it matter?” and you felt that it wasn’t directed at you, so you pretended you didn’t hear him. There would be other opportunities to confront him about the machinations of his mind, but you felt now was not the time to dig in over it.

“Sans, I…uh,” You had remembered something, and figured now was the time to mention it. “There’s a song that I remembered recently, and have been trying to work on with the Chamber. If I can perfect it, I… thought maybe you would listen to it?” He didn’t respond. “I wanted to share it with you because… it’s just perfect, you know? Every word of it describes how I feel, and I just… thought it might make you feel better, too.” You realized that sounded like a confession of sorts and panicked a bit. “It’s uh, just a song.” You felt your face become hot enough you thought if you face planted in the snow, you’d turn the woods into an extension of Waterfall. Maybe Hotland if you got any worse.

The silence wore on and you tried to hide in his hood. You heard him speak at last, and your face did indeed get warmer. “you can sing for me any time you want to, shale.” He looked up at you. “ _any_ time.”

You were standing in front of the Ruins. Just as was becoming habit, or so it seemed, you handed him his jacket and watched him saunter off into the snowy darkness until he was out of sight, and then you went inside, sighing to yourself.

You felt the song you’d mentioned eat at you, and you smiled. Have patience! You encouraged yourself, but the urge to work on that song, the urge to share it with him…

It filled you with DETERMINATION!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that was awkward, wasn't it? But yay~ the amalgamates get to be happy!  
> As for the movie, I tried not to let it be boring by mainly just focusing on reactions. What do you think?
> 
> As for the next chapter... we will know what I needed the human name for. Get ready for FEELS and goat mom-- and GOAT MOM FEELS.


	12. Why Does It Matter?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternate Title: For Science, You Monster! (But would anyone let me get away with that a second time? Probably.)
> 
> Toriel talks about some of her kids, and you find a strange artifact in the barrier room.  
> You get drunk with Sans to celebrate new work orders!  
> What the hell is wrong with Sans now?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I meant to be back before now, but things have been busy. I work full time and then some, so...  
> Anyway, if anyone wants to show some love, why don't you stop by our online store? We sell all kinds of stuff (don't wanna get specific or I'll be here all day!), from Magic cards to board games. Comics to pop vinyls. Just... check us out if you have the time! I pack the majority of the orders, and I'd love to send you things!  
> www.ultimategamesandcomics.com
> 
> And once again, thank you all so very much for reading this. This is where plot is gonna thicken, this chapter was not entirely supposed to exist as it is now, but I'm kinda glad it turned out this way. Not my favorite chapter, by far, but... We'll get to that eventually.  
> Also, I do not own any of the songs referenced in this fic other than the Song of Past Pain, which can be found here: https://soundcloud.com/raven-zaphara/song-of-past-pain

You had a few days off, to recover your energy fully. You decided to go visit Toriel, and tell her about all of the weird things that had happened since the last time you’d seen her. Though she had likely already heard one way or another, she had already told you that hearing you talk about it made her happy.

She seemed a bit distant, you noticed warily. “Tori, is something on your mind?”

She looked startled. “It is… a bad day for me.”

“I’m sorry, do you need me to leave?”

“No, please!” She said, and you realized she was about to cry. “I… do not want to be alone right now.”

“Do you want to talk about it? I’ll listen.” You told her, smiling gently at her.

She nodded. “Thank you, my child.” She looked upset that she had said it. “I-I apologize. I… you remind me of…”

You cocked your head. “You had children, didn’t you? I remind you of one? That’s okay, I don’t mind.” You said, trying to put her at ease.

She laughed, a sad smile on her face. “Yes, you remind me of Crag.”

That sounded strange. “Craig?” That was a human name.

She nodded. “Crag fell down, a long time ago. He told me he was seventeen, and he stayed with me for a few years. He called me mom, and told me so many things. He was so sweet, and never broke a promise… He was always so curious. Too curious. He told me that he wanted to go on, but promised he’d come back…”

“Is today the anniversary of when he left?”

She shook her head. “No, today is the anniversary of when my first two children died.” Her eyes misted. “Remember that robe I let you borrow? I made that for my son when he was very young. It was going to be what I gave him for his coming of age…”

You ached to comfort her, but you had no idea what to do. “Do you want me to bring it back to you? I didn’t know it was so important to you. I’ve been using it to sleep in.” You admitted sheepishly.

She giggled through her tears. “Perhaps. It would be nice to have it back, but it would only sit in a closet, unused… I’m…” she shook her head. “I’d like you to keep it.”

You nodded and gave her an encouraging grin. She smiled back, blotting at her eyes with the fur on her hands. “Yes, you’re a lot like Crag. Just… taller.”

That hadn’t been what you expected her to say. You snickered. “So tell me more about him. He was short, sweet, and curious.”

“Yes, much like another person I know.”

“I sure hope you don’t mean me. Am I that short? I mean, yeah, compared to you…”

“No, not you.” She said. “But he left, and I kept waiting for him to come back. But… nobody came.” She sighed. “I’ve lost so many children.” She looked at you. “Too many. I know you’re not one of my children… you’re not a child… but… please, don’t…”

“Toriel, it’s okay. I’m not gonna disappear. I don’t think I’m in any danger here. Unless I’ll be shipped to death.”

She chuckled. “You… don’t mind if I call you my child, do you?”

You shook your head. “It doesn’t bother me at all.”

“Do you have a mother?” She asked suddenly, and you sucked in a breath.

“Yeah…”

“What was she like?” She asked. “None of my adoptive children would talk much about the surface… Many of them had sought out a way to escape it, and then there was Frisk, who never spoke…”

You nodded, wanting to put her at ease. “She… well, she was my mom, y’know? She was great, taught me things, but she… well, no one’s perfect. I can’t go blaming everything on her, but I didn’t exactly have a normal childhood. Didn’t know it at the time. By time I grew up, I had some… different ideas about how the world worked. I wasn’t prepared to deal with it.”

She nodded. “What do you remember most about her?”

You smiled. “Cooking with her. Spaghetti, usually.” You smiled proudly. “Our recipe even got the Great Papyrus seal of approval.”

She chuckled. “You love your mother. I’m glad.” She said. “I hope you know I’m not trying to replace her.”

You shook your head. “I know, Tori. Don’t worry about that. Tell me more about your children, huh? If it’s okay?”

“I can tell you about an unofficial **kid** of mine.” She said quietly. You had almost forgotten how much she loved puns. You nodded for her to go on. “It was back when I was living in the Ruins, before Frisk fell. I was lonely, and it was quiet. I heard something coming from the door, and realized it was knocking.”

She began to tell you about meeting Sans that way, and how he had reminded her of Crag. She had cheered up substantially by the time she reached the end of her story, but then she grimaced. “At first, when I came back to the throne, people mistook my fondness for something else. You have no idea how many centuries I have on him—not that age means anything, really, but…”

You snickered. “He’s just a **kid** to you, huh? I **goat** you.” Toriel giggled. She was feeling much better, and you felt like you’d managed to do something good with your day. She sighed, and asked you something that took your mind from where it had begun to wander. “What?”

“Could I ask you a favor?”

“Yeah, Tori, what?”

She looked hesitant. “The barrier room… When I went in there before, all I’d found was Asgore’s dust. But… Sometimes I hear a voice from that direction at night. I don’t think I can go out there.”

“You want me to go check?”

She nodded. “If it’s not too much trouble. I know it’s a little frightening in there… so much raw magic…” She shivered. “I remember when the barrier was first formed. I was very young, then… it still frightens me to be close to it, sometimes.”

You smiled at her reassuringly. “Sure, thing, Tori. I’ll go right now, if it’ll make you feel better.”

She nodded. “His dust isn’t there anymore. We had a traditional monster funeral for him… he’s in the flowers now.”

You nodded, you couldn’t admit how relieved you were to not have to see a monster’s remains. It was unnerving and saddening even though you’d never met him. You took your leave from the house, heading through the small sea of well-kept golden flowers. You didn’t look at them closely—you had other goals in mind, and could always check later.

You didn’t see the smiling flower duck back into the ground after you’d passed.

She hadn’t been exaggerating. The room was intimidating and charged. It seemed to stretch on forever, and somehow you couldn’t fathom the space around you. Where did it end? What, exactly, were you looking at?

There was a small object on the floor, and you approached it. A small cellphone. The battery was dead, you noted, but upon checking the charger port, you realized yours would fit. You put it in your pocket, unsure of whether or not to tell Toriel. If it had been here before, she would have found it, surely. So who could have been back here?

You weren’t sure why you were so confident in the idea—but you were convinced it belonged to Frisk. Were they still alive, somewhere? Stuck in the barrier between worlds? You shivered.

This was not monster magic. It felt colder, malicious. You wondered fleetingly if your own magic felt this way, and put it from your mind.

You went back to Toriel, your mind made up.

“I think someone might have been back there at some point. I don’t know when, and other than my own, there were no footsteps.”

She teared up. “I don’t know who could have been there… You are sure there wasn’t anything?”

You were certain that it wasn’t a good idea to tell her about the phone. You weren’t sure why, but to tell her that it just appeared there, seemingly out of thin air… you knew Toriel well enough; she’d spend days investigating the barrier, fear of it be damned, hoping to see one of her lost children for even a brief moment. What if it had been planted there with that idea in mind, maliciously? You’d take a look at it tonight, and then worry about telling anyone.

“Nothing.”

She nodded, blotting the tears away with her hand again. “Well…”

You had a thought. “Toriel, can monsters be revived after turning to dust?”

She looked startled. “No. Is there a way to revive fallen humans?”

You shrugged. “It depends on the situation.” You thought for a moment, remembering the files Alphys had showed you. The amalgamates, Flowey, they were alive because they had Determination. “If Alphys and I work together on this hunch I have… would you give us permission to do an experiment?”

“On what, my child?”

“The flowers that have Asgore’s dust on them. Perhaps there’s enough of his essence that we could… I don’t know. Please, Toriel, we can look at notes, make hypotheses, but…”

“What brought this on? Did you find something?”

You shook your head. “A hunch, a gut feeling, maybe. Tori, I don’t want to get your hopes up… Please forgive me if I fail at this.”

She shook her head. “It has been so many years since I last spoke to him. I… would be lying if I said I wouldn’t like to… talk to him one more time.” Her gaze hardened with resolve. "It is worth a try."

You smiled. “I need to go talk to Alphys and Sans, then.”

 

* * *

 

A quick phone call to Alphys and a quicker explanation (once again avoiding the mention of the phone) of the afternoon’s events led to Alphys objecting to trying to recreate Flowey—saying that she was sure that it wouldn’t work and if it did it would be a terrible idea. You eventually talked her around to it. You said that perhaps there was something you were all missing, here. Something that would be helpful.

“Imagine it, Alphys! If we can figure out how to bring Asgore back, we can figure out anything! If we can figure out how to help Asgore, maybe we can figure out how to help Flowey.”

“F-Flowey?" You sighed in aggravation and explained your meeting him. "You mean you knew about him already?”

“Yeah, but I’ll explain more later. I just… feel like this is important... I don’t know why. But wouldn’t the Underground be a little brighter with its King back?”

She sighed. “You’re right. B-but… I didn’t ever want to use Determination again… It has t-too many v-variables I don’t understand yet, and it can… lead to some very frightening inconsistencies.”

“So we keep him potted up, and he can’t get away, right? No problem!”

“No, that’s not all. What if it doesn’t work? What if it only partially works? What if…”

“Alphys, you’re a scientist. Your job is to ask those questions and my job as your friend and work partner to help you _answer_ them! Now, if you’ll just say yes, I can go talk to Sans and get him onboard! I’ll see you bright and early tomorrow, okay? We have a lot of ground to cover.”

“B-Birdy!—I didn’t agree to th—“

“Bye!” You hung up and shot Sans a text.

 

* * *

 

Sans could hear the phone conversation his brother was having with Undyne as if he were in the same room. “YES IT WAS AMAZING! THEY WATCHED US REACT THE WHOLE TIME, ALMOST! YES, JUST AS YOU SAID, HIS REACTION TO THE KISS WAS PRICELESS! AND THEN HE WALKED THEM HOME AND SULKED IN HIS ROOM ALL NIGHT!” Seriously, it was as if he really wanted Sans to hear it. If Paps poured it on any thicker, Sans mused, he’d be trying to force him into reading that “dating manual” and setting you and him up on a date.

“you damn traitor.” He grumbled, but began to think about his actions. He could still feel that feeling that he could only describe as an internal crumpling—he’d never felt it before, and he hoped he’d never feel it again—and then the kissing scene had made the internal crumpling into something akin to imploding.

He was too lazy to try and lie to himself as he sat thinking. He was starting to develop feelings for you. He shook himself at the idea, fearing it even more now that he was being honest. Terror—he didn’t want to end up like Gaster.

But that would require losing you, he thought. Yes, but humans inevitably fall to something or another, regardless of care. And what would he do, then? He probably wouldn’t have a human lifespan—it was possible, he supposed, but… He’d shown no sign of it so far. Sure, he was one of the younger monsters in the Underground, especially if you didn’t take the Resets into account, but there was no telling how long he’d last. What would happen to Papyrus after he was gone, he wondered darkly and cringed.

Was it too late to start lying to himself about it? Could he find a way to reverse this?

He asked himself for the millionth time what you wanted to sing to him. You’d made it sound so… intimate, and he couldn’t get his mind off of it. He remembered your performance on stage, and the string of songs you’d sung to the amalgamates. (he’d been particularly amused by a song called [Sledgehammer](https://youtu.be/N1tTN-b5KHg). It was cute).

He remembered the passion in your voice, and how those tendrils of maroon light would flicker out to caress anything close enough.

He admitted to himself that he longed to know what it felt like, to touch your magic and be touched by it, and not only out of scientific curiosity.

He hummed to himself, trying to remember the tune of the song you’d insistently taught Lemon Bread. It had been in Japanese (Alphys had explained that eagerly), but you had chosen it because its message had been beautiful. You explained what each line meant, and he was impressed with how well you remembered it. What had you called that song? Sock Drops? No, the way you said it made it sound like some kind of fruity alcoholic beverage.[ Sakura Drops](https://youtu.be/mlwCZm2MQbQ)? Yeah, that sounded right.

He remembered asking you how you remembered all of that stuff, and you had just given him a quizzical glance. You had said that you knew hundreds of songs. Foreign songs were something of a weakness of yours. They were a challenge, as you had to memorize how to sing them much more meticulously than songs in your native language. On top of that, you prided yourself in memorizing the translations. Alphys had been impressed with that, as well.

His phone went off. He checked it, and, when he saw your name, felt a stir in his magic that scared him as much as it thrilled him.

 **shale**  
_Hey, wanna go to Grillby’s? My treat._

He would lie to himself later. It felt good to smile.

 

* * *

 

He immediately responded.

 **snas**  
_fry’ll meat you there._

You giggled and began walking. You didn’t even hesitate to use the River Person’s services this time. You weren’t paying attention to the words. “Does Fate control the dusty flower, or does he control Fate?” You even offered the unheard River Person a smile as you hopped off the boat. You raced giddily into the bar and saw Sans turn around. The few patrons, most of them generously sauced by now, called in greeting to you. A mixture of “Shale,” “Phantom,” and “Birdy” (from the family of amalgamates, although Alphys had taken it up as well).

Grillby nodded to you, and you could tell he was pleased to see you. You felt a bit regretful that you couldn’t hear his voice anymore—or would you be able to, since you had your own magic now? You were eager to find out.

“wow, shale, you look happy.” You looked into the skeleton’s sockets, saw those dulled glows become bright when you smiled, and smiled back.

“We have a new project!” You enthused. “But, I have to convince you to go along with it.” He looked skeptical, and you snorted. “Hey, I’ve worked with you guys on less explanations, just to remind you. I’m being nice.”

“is that because we’ll be doing the research?” He teased as you sat down next to him.

Grillby positively glowed with happiness, staring down at the two of you. You realized he was waiting for you to order. You asked for a burger, and when he walked off, you quietly and quickly explained the gist of your hunch. You were tempted to tell him about the phone… but you wanted to wait until it felt safe. You were even more curious about who could have put it there, or when. To tell any of Frisk’s friends, and potentially put them in danger, felt wrong. At least, until you could identify the threat or lack thereof.

“Hey, Sans. Do monster drinks work on humans?”

He looked startled. “probably not.” He hitched his brow bone and wondered why you’d changed the subject. He noticed Grillby, then, and smiled. “what do you think, grillbz? got anything in human?”

He crackled joyously and began digging around. He put two shot glasses on the bar, and you and Sans traded hesitant glances. Grillby pulled out a nondescript bottle, pulled the cork, and offered it to you to smell. You could feel the tingle of magic but also smell the burn of hard liquor.

“Did someone throw that away?” You asked.

He shook his head, and after a moment, Sans spoke for him. “he remembers how it was made.”

You remembered that Grillby was a veteran. He’d seen the surface an ungodly amount of time ago. That was bound to be an interesting bottle of spirits. “How much? I wanna try it.” You said, taking an eager bite of the burger.

Sans looked at you, a bit startled. “hey, shale, you sure? it’s got magic in it.”

You gestured at the burger and hitched an eyebrow. “So does everything down here. I’m still recovering, you know. I could use a pick me up.”

Grillby was already pouring both of you a shot while you bickered back and forth. He was pleased at the lack of puns—he’d never known Sans to resist making them. He figured Sans was sufficiently distracted. The bartender wanted to see how his skeletal patron would react to you drinking, he had to admit to himself.

“grillbz, I can’t even _get_ drunk.” The skeleton protested.

“You can’t?” You asked incredulously. “Really? That’s odd.”

It was true. Sans had never understood why he couldn’t get drunk, or even buzzed, off of monster drinks. Now, looking at this stuff that radiated an aura of pain, he was mildly curious but just as wary. “i wonder what this stuff will do.” He muttered.

“ _There’s_ that scientific curiosity! C’mon, only one way to find out.” You reached for yours and he reached for his. You clinked yours against his, and said cheers. You gulped it down, made a face, and then set the cup on the bar. Grilby went to pour you another, but you stopped him. “Not yet, fireball. Wanna see how it affects me.”

Sans chuckled at your name for the crackling bartender, and threw his back, resisting the urge to spray it all over the place. “christ on a crutch.” He groaned after he’d managed to swallow it down. To say it felt like pain in the glass was nothing in comparison to how it felt mixing in his magic. He was tempted to ask for ketchup as a chaser, but wondered if he'd be able to enjoy ketchup again afterward.

You snickered at him. “I never got used to it either. The magic in it makes it bearable, though.” You admitted. “When we find a way to break the barrier, I’m gonna introduce you to sooo much booze.” Now that you had some extra magic in you, you could hear Grillby’s laugh over the crackle of his flames. His voice was almost warmer than he was. “Gods, that stuff is strong. Gimme another.” You said greedily, wide smile slightly malicious.

Sans snatched away the tumbler. “nope.”

Grillby simply grabbed another, poured, and handed it to you. You downed it in one go, then looked cheekily at the grimacing skeleton. “The trick is to not let it hit your tongue.” You told him, then mused aloud. “Do you even have a tongue?” He put his head on the bar. One more shot, and you’d definitely be totally sloshed. “Hey, Grillbz!” You called out. “Pour him another one. Let’s see if he can do it this time.”

“shale.” He hissed, and tugged your arm.

“Hey, at least I won’t ask for a third, okay? I know my limits. And you don’t, cause you’ve never been drunk, right?” You were giddy, and he found himself smiling even though he was worried.

“yeah.”

“Well, you’re among friends. If you get drunk, I’ll help you get home.” You winked. “Promise I won’t take advantage of you.”

Grillby snapped a picture of Sans with his phone, trying and failing to hold in a laugh. Sans could only imagine how blue his face was. “goddammit, kid.” First Papyrus, now you. Was nothing sacred?

“Aw, come on. It was a joke. Grillby, delete that picture!”

Sans snatched up the shot Grillby had poured as Grillby assured you smugly that the picture was technically deleted. Sans gulped the alcohol with the knowledge that it was already on that damned website.

You laughed. You hadn’t cared about that stuff in a while. You had just learned to accept it. How could you do that, he wondered. How did it not mean anything to you? He supposed a better question was why did it mean something to him?

Everything felt weird and fuzzy, and if he turned his head, it was like his vision had lag for a moment. The sensation was new, and he sat there, looking back and forth until he got dizzy. “You’re drunk.” You told him.

“i’m not.”

“You’re _so_ drunk.”

“i swear to drunk, i’m not god.”

You and Grillby were laughing hysterically now, and Sans couldn’t help but laugh too. This was pleasant, just hanging out with you. Could he… just… tell you that? Real quick?

“hey, shale…”

“Grillby, I got an idea!” You said over him. “I figured out how to use my phone to focus my magic through!” Sans listened, curious. There would be time to tell you later, he assured himself. Grillby nodded attentively. You went on. “I can do the thing with my magic, and play music through my phone. If I do that, can I perform in here?”

Sans stared at you, enraptured. He would get to hear you sing again? Grillby snapped another picture of him, and Sans used his magic to crumple the fire elemental’s phone. Grillby began to snicker again, but Sans turned his empty gaze to his friend. “keep it up and I start on the glasses.”

Grillby nodded. He was thankful for the warning. He mused he’d done enough to torture him, and so, giving you permission to set up your music, left to check on the other patrons, who wanted to try the drink that had so swiftly knocked Sans on his ass (or lack thereof).

The other monsters were as excited as Sans to hear this. You did a test on your phone, starting with a song you were comfortable with, one that you knew very well. After that, you did one much more energetic. Halfway into the song, there were other customers coming in, probably hearing about you being here. News travels fast in the Underground. Soon, there was barely room to stand in the bar, and you were singing your sixth song. You weren’t really exuding much magic, though. You were just having fun. Sans enjoyed seeing you smile, laugh, and almost stumble a few times as you performed. You were singing things that no one knew, but no one minded. He was sure that if you were to try, you could overthrow Mettaton effortlessly from his throne atop the entertainment aspect of the Underground.

But Sans secretly hoped that wouldn’t happen. If it did, he wouldn’t get to work with you anymore. He wouldn’t see you for weeks or even months at a time. And after seeing you in that movie macking on Mettaton, he wasn’t entirely keen on the idea of you spending time out touring with the robot.

Grillby waved to you, and pointed at his wrist. You called out, “One more song! It’s last call, everybody!” Your phone began playing something gentle as everyone protested. You laughed. “You guys have been great, so let me treat you to something special!”

Everyone cheered, complaints forgotten, as you began singing. “[Closing time](https://youtu.be/xGytDsqkQY8), Open all the doors and let you out into the world. Closing time, turn all of the lights on over every boy and every girl. Closing time, one last call for alcohol so finish your whiskey or beer. Closing time, you don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here.”

No one was ready when the music from your phone boomed louder and you began belting out the chorus. Sans looked up at you as you sang, seeing the flickering shadow of your magic reach out tentatively. “I know who I want to take me home. Take me home…” He heard the words, and looked up at your face. Your eyes were closed, and he felt a wave of disappointment in himself. Damn, it was hard to lie to himself when he was drinking this stuff. 

“Closing time. Time for you to go out to the places you will be from. Closing time. This room won’t be open till your brothers or your sisters come. So gather up your jackets, move it to the exits. I hope you have found a friend. Closing time, every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.”

Again, you launched into the chorus, and everyone was singing along, in varying tones. Even Sans found himself singing along, and now that you were accompanied by everyone else, you were becoming more emboldened. He could see it in your magic as it reached around and touched the bar and things on it. He reached out tentatively for a stray tendril. He looked up at you, and his hand fell away as he saw your eyes on him. “I know who I want to take me home. Take me home…” He couldn’t look away from your smile. “Closing time… Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.”

You looked out to everyone, your magic receding back to you swiftly, and you thanked everyone for coming, encouraging them to pay their tabs and behave themselves. You headed back to the bar and Grillby bowed to you, chuckling in that dark, sultry tone. You looked at Sans, who still looked mystified. You grabbed his sleeve. “C’mon bonehead.” You chuckled, and drug him out with you as everyone laughed and cheered and called out for you.

Maybe it was because the both of you were sloshed, but you both stumbled back to Sans’s house, trusting neither the use of shortcuts, nor his ability to walk home alone after walking you to the ruins. Papyrus got a crash course on human drunkenness, and so at three in the morning, you found yourself eating spaghetti and charging Frisk’s phone where no one could see it. You were sober enough, you told yourself. Papyrus had insisted you drink a lot of water, and you were thankful of it. As it was, you were regretting telling Alphys you’d be over bright and early.

You looked at the phone. Missed calls, numbering in the twenties, and two voicemails. Even though your intention had been to look for any sign of who had left it, you found yourself opening the voicemail for another reason. It wasn’t just morbid curiosity. You wanted to know for sure if it was Frisk's, yes… but also you wanted to understand.

The most recent missed call, you had noticed, was from the day you fell—from Sans. You remembered how he’d acted that day, glancing wistfully at the barrier room. You wondered if the phone had been there at that point—not that it would have mattered. The battery couldn’t have lasted three years.

 ***Message One** The phone’s robotic voice chimed, and then you heard Sans. You almost yelped, thinking that he had come down and caught you. You reminded yourself that he was passed out in his bed, and you could hear him snoring from where you sat on the couch. You focused on what Sans was saying to the phone.

He was explaining that Toriel had returned, and was ruling the underground, mentioning that humans were welcomed now, that the souls had disappeared… you heard something, then. “if we’re not giving up down here… don’t give up wherever you are, ok? who knows how long it’ll take… but we will get out of here.”

Papyrus came into the conversation, and you turned down the phone’s volume. You listened as he enthused about everything that had gone on and was going on. Undyne took over, tormenting Papyrus. This was so familiar. It was if nothing had changed since that day… and you wondered when this had happened. Was it recent?

Alphys came in as Undyne was talking about missing Asgore, and you smiled as you listened. They mentioned Toriel being busy, and all took their leave of the phone shortly afterward.

There was so much love coming from them all… you felt a pang for their loss.

 ***Message Two** The cold voice startled you and before you could adjust, you once again heard Sans’s voice.

“kiddo… frisk… i know you know there’s a better ending out there. we both know it.” There was a pause. “look, i appreciate that you… didn’t leave me here all alone this time… but…” To your horror, you could swear you heard tears in his voice. “what did we do wrong? what did… _i_ do wrong? why didn’t you take us with you, kid?” Another pause, steely silence. “y’know what? no. it’s been a year, frisk. i’ve been waiting anxiously for a whole year. just… tell me this right now. is it worth it to keep trying? are you going to wait until we get up there and then reset? do you hate us that much?” Another pause. “course… you can’t answer… that’s your fault, isn’t it?” 

Two years ago, you mused, putting the phone in your pocket. It chimed, and you pulled it back out.

 **frisk**  
_Please, don’t tell._

Don’t tell who? You asked yourself. You tried to type on the phone, but the screen went black, and charging didn’t help. The phone was dead. It’s message was conveyed.

But why? What was it supposed to mean?

You put the phone back into your pocket and sunk into the couch, finally finding sleep.

 

* * *

 

Well, the day sucked, you had to admit it. So much for bright and early, so much for a lot of ground to cover. Both Sans and Alphys were quick to assure you that a dead monster couldn’t be brought back. You pressured them. Flowey had just been a flower, but injected with Determination, gained sentience. Sans looked very uncomfortable about that, and Alphys just looked regretful. Your full retelling of your first encounter with the flower had made them both wary.

“Please, guys, think about it! If a regular old flower can live through Determination, what would happen if a flower with a monster’s essence absorbed into it came to life? Would the resulting creature have memories? Come on! It’s worth a try, if nothing else. Think how happy everyone would be, to have Asgore, or even the semblance of him, back.”

They both hung their heads. They could hardly tell you no, with that attitude. Sans finally spoke up at last. “Just… what if he’s unstable?”

“We pot him up, put him in a dirtless room, keep an eye on him at all times, and try and find a way to revive him fully.” You say, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

He shrugged and looked at Alphys. “works for me, i guess. but you two don’t really need me for this.”

“Nope, you’re in on this, too, Sans.” You said. “You can see souls, and we don’t know what state he’ll be in if we can revive him. We need you.”

He grumbled. “fine. but until i’m needed, i’m napping.”

“Awww, poor Sans has a hangover.” You teased gently, but he just grunted and sunk into a chair, ignoring you.

 

* * *

 

The next day went by as quietly as the last, with no new information coming to light. You had taken some of the flowers, and were keeping them in a chamber. You had all decided that only one flower should be worked on at a time. Having multiple sentient Asgore flowers at once seemed… creepy.

The week wore on, with you and Alphys talking about soul vessels, like the one she’d accidentally wrecked the day Flowey had interrupted her experiments on you. She began designing another prototype, this one vastly different to the other one. You didn’t pay it any mind; it was likely different because human and monster souls were different. Or, perhaps, because one subject was dead, the other alive.

Alphys was overworking herself again, and had taken to passing out on her notes. You had been about to wake her, when Sans tugged on your sleeve. You looked over at him, confused. He’d seemed distant, lately. You weren’t sure if it was because of work or if he was upset with you, but… it had been increasingly more difficult to talk to him for the past few days. You wondered sometimes if he knew about the phone that you still kept in your pocket.

“shale, there’s something you need to see. come on.”

You felt a chill down your spine, feeling a wave of something you hadn’t felt in a long time. He was intimidating, and as unfriendly as your first day in the lab. Slowly, you followed him through corridors, into a darkened room full of cassettes and files. He pulled one out and handed it to you. After a moment, you recognized one of the diagrams. It was the original soul vessel.

“What’s this about, Sans?”

“didn’t you wonder why it was so different?” He pointed at something. It was in his handwriting, in the margins of the notes. Your eyes traced the letters, not making sense of them at first. “we were going to kill you and use your soul, shale.” He explained at last. You looked up at him in mild surprise. Your minute reaction annoyed him more than it should have. “do you not understand? we were going to use you as a radar to find the other souls, and then use yours as the final key to break the barrier. we were going to kill you, not even give you a choice in the matter.”

You shrugged. “But you didn’t, did you?”

“we would have! that damn flower interrupted us, and ruined everything.”

That stung a bit. He seemed encouraged by this reaction. You spoke. “So, what’s stopping you from trying again?” You stood straight, staring up into his eyes, hoping to intimidate him just as he was trying to intimidate you. “If I’m more use to you dead than alive, be my guest. Wouldn’t be the first time someone I care about hurt me.” You couldn’t stop the bitterness in your voice.

“but now you see, don’t you? i am a monster.”

“What is this about, Sans?” You repeated icily. His eyes lit up so bright you thought they’d burst. You were playing into his hands. For whatever reasons, this was the reaction he had wanted. Still, you continued. “This isn’t about being a literal or figurative monster, this is you just trying to fuck with my head, and I want to know why!”

He smirked. “why does it matter?”

You froze. “That’s a good question, isn’t it?” You pulled Frisk’s cell phone out of your pocket and chucked it at him. He caught it with his magic, just short of his head, and then realized what it was. “Well, since nothing I say matters, how about I answer one of your other amazing questions? What _did_ you do wrong? I can only assume it was something like this.” You threw the file at him, too, and then turned to the door, half expecting him to be there to block it. He wasn’t, so you left, slamming it behind you.

You heard Alphys fall out of her chair at her desk, and stumble her way to you to see what the commotion was. When she found you, you were huddled between two fridges, upset but unable to cry. Alphys investigated the room but found the only thing in there were scattered notes from the thrown file. She observed what file it was and came back to you cautiously.

“B-Birdy…” The nickname made you look up at her. “I’m sorry. We d-discontinued that project. You know that, right?”

“Not by his choice, I’m guessing.”

She flinched. “What happened?”

You shook your head.

“You believe me, though, right? We don’t want to hurt you. It’s not worth it.”

You shook your head again. “Alphys, I’m just tired. Let’s… take a day or two and we’ll come back to it with fresh eyes.”

“Promise you’ll come back?” She asked.

You nodded. “I’m not done here yet. What am I going to do? Sit in the ruins while Papyrus and Undyne cry at me because their OTP apparently hate each other?”

She looked startled. “You hate him?”

“I think that was what he wanted, Alphys.” You told her. “Sucks for him though. I’m kinda pissed at him, but… more than anything, it just hurts. You know? I… trusted him. I thought that monsters were different than humans.”

She pulled you to your feet and gave you a hug. “D-do you want to crash here?”

“No. I… need my own bed. Maybe some other time we can sit and watch anime together and get drunk off our asses.”

She nodded. “Sure, Birdy.” She walked with you to the entrance to the lab. You wished that you could go see some of your other friends, but you hadn’t seen much of the amalgamates since they left to live with their families. They came in once a week for check-ups, but that was about it. Mettaton was on tour, currently, and you couldn’t think of anyone else who would be up this late at night.

“Night, Alphys.” You said and headed home. You silently dared the River Person to say something ominous. Maybe it would be something hopeful, maybe it would be something stupid, but you just wanted a distraction in any case.

“The reports written in white ink.” They said again. “History repeats itself.”

“Can you explain even a bit?” You pleaded, aggravated that they had said something they’d said before.

“History repeats itself.”

“Are you History?” You grumbled, and they ushered you off at the Snowdin docks.

“You will learn one day. Or you won’t. Up to you.”

You were encouraged by the fact they were answering you, this time. “Yeah, it’s up to me. So what do I do to get to that point?”

They shook their head and disappeared before your eyes. You groaned in aggravation and began walking home, stewing enough that the eyes on you didn’t register.

 

* * *

 

Broken glass was everywhere in Sans’s personal lab. He sat at his counter with his head in his hands, staring at Frisk’s phone. It wouldn’t turn on, but he didn’t need it to. He could remember that message, just like he could remember the look on your face when you’d referenced it.

Why hadn’t you told him about the phone? Where did you get it?

Why did it matter?

He pummeled the counter yet another time. That question was the one that started this. Why did it matter?

He couldn’t let himself get too close. By pushing you away, by refusing to work with you, he was preventing history from repeating.

If he were less stubborn, he’d realize it already had.

All he could hope was that you wouldn’t want to see him anymore. He could sit here in this empty lab and away from any other decisions he might one day regret. He grabbed the last intact bottle and downed it in one long chug, feeling the excess magic clutch the bottle harder than he’d meant. He couldn’t really control it. He felt bad for drinking all of Grillby’s alcohol, but he’d patiently said he could always make more.

The bottle, like the others, shattered in his hand, and the pieces, charged with magic, flew in every direction. He shook until he couldn’t feel any shards on him and then lay his head on the counter with a soft _thud_.

You had looked so upset. Angry, even. ~~Magnificent~~. And he could tell that his words had hit their mark. You were filled with DETERMINATION—it had been his goal; so why did the victory feel even emptier than his skull?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, guys, don't hate me too much.  
> 


	13. A Tug from the Void

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternate Title: A Tug from the Blue (Either seems to work just fine. You'll see!)
> 
> Now that the shipping scene is sufficiently off the table, you find yourself deeper in friendships with Undyne and Alphys.  
> Why does Alphys take so many notes?  
> Ever wonder what Soul-Searcher even means?  
> Sans has a heavy moment where he's called out for his behavior! And stuff!

Potted plants were overturned, books thrown from the shelves, but you hadn’t touched a thing. You were singing, and your magic wasn’t just dripping from you in seething tendrils. It was whipping around in gusts of fury, as your anger at being hurt burst from you. Halfway through the song you just let out an infuriated expletive and screamed, throwing yourself against the wall. You struggled to catch your breath after that, and fell asleep on the floor, back to the wall.

You woke up to both Undyne and Papyrus standing over you. You were in bed now.

“Oh, hell, what’s going on.” You grumbled. You felt like you’d slept on broken glass.

Undyne sighed in relief. “I got here for my shift and found you in the floor, house a disaster. I thought someone attacked you, so I called for backup. Alphys told me about that little spat last night. Did anyone attack you, or did you just get p—” She looked at Papyrus and amended her speech. “upset?”

“The second one.” You muttered, pushing up onto your elbows. “So you guys threw me into bed and decided to stand over me until I woke up?”

They exchanged worried glances. “I CLEANED UP YOUR HOME, BUT WE WANTED TO MAKE SURE YOU WERE NOT IN DANGER BEFORE WE GO SEARCH FOR HUMANS.”

You thought for a moment. “Aw, guys I’m sorry. You thought a human came down here and roughed me up, huh?”

Undyne growled. “Don’t say it like it’s not a possibility. You should move in with Toriel, or into the lab.”

Papyrus looked like he wanted to interject and remind you that his couch was now fish-free, but his face fell again.

“Hey, Paps, it’s okay.” You said. “I’m pretty sure he’s just being an asshole.”

“I HAVEN’T SEEN HIM SINCE YESTERDAY MORNING.” He said. “I ALMOST THOUGHT HE WAS THE ONE WHO DID THIS. HE DOES IT TO HIS ROOM FREQUENTLY.”

You shuddered. “If he wanted to hurt me, he had the opportunity to last night at the lab.” You didn’t admit that the way he chose to hurt you wasn’t physical. “I’m fine. I’ll be fine.” To prove your point, you forced yourself to get up, hearing your back pop as you moved. You gave Papyrus an apologetic glance. “You might want to run along for a moment, guys. I need to pop my back. I slept like hell.”

Papyrus looked confused. “UNDYNE TOLD ME THAT HUMANS MAKE STRANGE NOISES WHEN THEY STRETCH. SHE TOLD ME THEY SOUND PAINFUL AND LIKE YOU WILL BREAK.”

You sigh and lean, and a few crunching noises make you groan from the discomfort.

“Punk, you okay?” Undyne was worried, but you think it was only half because of the sickening noises.

You nodded. “It hurts, but it'll feel better later.” You weren't sure which worry of hers you were addressing.

Undyne nodded to Papyrus. “I’ll be back in a while to take the rest of my shift, dude. I want to make sure they get to the lab safely.” Papyrus nodded, more somber than usual, and headed out. Undyne rummaged through your clothes drawers and grabbed things you would need. “You’ll feel better after a shower.”

You did indeed. You ate a hurried breakfast and Undyne walked you the long way to work. When you got to Waterfall, you stripped off the coat and other excess layers, and Undyne helped you again with the Dimensional Storage your phone was capable of. You switched your boots out for the flats, sighing as you looked around. “If I ever build myself a house down here, I want it to be in Waterfall. It’s so relaxing.”

“Closer to everything, too.” Undyne agreed.

The silence wore on and you sighed in frustration. “Undyne, aren’t you going to guilt me into talking to him? I was sure that would be the first thing you did.”

“Hadn’t even thought about it.” She said. “I kinda feel bad, just so you know. Maybe all of that was our fault.”

“What, you think the shipping got to him?” You gave a wry snort. “I don’t know _what_ his problem was, but…”

“If you want, I’ll disband the website.” She said.

You shook your head. “It won’t do any good, and you know it. Yours is the only one I can’t access, but there are several others that I can.”

She gave you a guilty look. “I’m sorry. Alphys is too.” She perked up. “I could disband ours and then beat the hell outta everyone else until they disband theirs!”

“I don’t want to ruin everyone else’s fun, Undyne. Don’t worry about it. With any luck, he’ll grow up and learn to say what he means, and not be a cryptic asshole.”

“What did he say, though?”

You hesitated, but… “Basically… he told me that I would have been more use to the Underground dead. That was the gist I got from it.”

She snarled. “That fucking LIAR!”

“No, he pretty much had scientific evidence to suggest he was right.”

“No, no, that’s not right. And he couldn’t have meant that.” She looked even more upset now. “He wouldn’t have acted like that to Frisk, and he likes you even more than he liked them!” You grimaced at the mention of the child. You weren’t entirely sure if it meant much, as from the second voicemail message you’d heard, you couldn’t be sure he liked them at all.

“Regardless, I just… need to keep going. Sitting on my ass and stewing about my emotions isn’t going to change anything.”

“I’m gonna kick his bony ass next time I see him. I will pin him down with spears until he apologizes to you.”

You waved it off. “Just leave it. His loss, right?” You tried to sound less pathetic than you were beginning to feel.

“Are you crying?” The horror in her voice was louder than she was.

“I’m used to this stuff happening on the Surface, Undyne. I shouldn’t be surprised… but I thought that… maybe it was just a _human_ tendency to be hateful.”

“Shit, punk, you’re actually _crying_ over him…” Rather than sound delighted, as she would have under other circumstances, she sounded miserable. “I knew you liked him, but… I didn’t think it was that bad.”

You shook your head. “You don’t understand, Undyne. If you and Papyrus were just hanging out and he turned to you and, in all sincerity, told you he thought you would be more useful broiled and buttered, how would you react?”

She looked sickened. “I’d probably kick his ass.”

“After that, though?”

There was a pause. “I think I understand now.” She sighed. “So, just a friendly thing, huh? No regret that you didn’t make a move on him before, or some shit?”

You didn’t answer at first. “Why does it matter?” You asked yourself, and the two of you resumed the walk in silence.

 

* * *

 

“Alphys, please, for the love of all things, quit apologizing for someone else’s bullshit.” You only said it once that day, but it summed the next twelve hours up quite neatly. After work, Undyne had returned with an impressive slew of monster alcohol. There wasn’t any more human-style left, and Grillby was quite trite when asked where it all went.

You got to try the real deal, and for all you thought that it wouldn’t affect you, you were flat on your ass before you got halfway through the first bottle. You marathoned Ouran, and laughed your asses off. Eventually, Undyne gagged you because you kept making rude comparisons between the manga and anime. Of course, Alphys didn’t mind, but that’s because, according to Undyne, she’s the same way. She had also seen all of the series before.

You managed to stumble down into the Infirmary when you needed some time alone. You were sitting on the bed, and humming to yourself, wondering things you hadn't wanted to wonder. You passed out, and a ghostly figure covered you up carefully. 

_“He kissed me with one face and bit me with another.” You sang into the Void. “He glowed with pride in one eye, and glowered with the other.”_

_The Void sang back, “Offer it to me.”_

_“In one hand I hold progress, in the other I regress. I’ve fallen and I’ve fallen again. Not falling, don't fall again.”_

_“Offer it to me.” The Void reached for you, and you pushed it away. It still moved forward, and pain began to grip you. “Offer it to me.” It demanded, in your ears, in your head, in your soul. “ **Offer it to me.** ”_

_“Mine!” You cried out and pushed with all your might. The Void didn’t budge, but it stilled. “It’s my burden to bear, and you won’t have it.”_

_“You won’t let go?”_

_“You can take His memory away. Leave me myself!”_

_The Void laughed. “You were never in control.”_

_“I am now, goddammit!” You shouted and pushed again._

Pain wracked you again, but this time it was different. You woke up and vomited next to the infirmary bed you had been asleep in. Alphys stood next to you, looking relieved. “Y-you were yelling in your sleep.” She said at last.

You nodded groggily. “That’ll do it.”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m using the shower; get me something to change into. Then get me started on something productive. I don’t want to think right now.”

She nodded, and you knew she understood. She hurried off as you stumbled your way to the bathroom. She caught up with you before you got there, as you had to hold the walls to keep from falling. You weren’t still drunk. You were exhausted and still reeling from that dream—in addition to being hungover. Your body was sluggish to respond to you, as if your soul had been beckoned out without your knowledge.

The Void in your chest throbbed, but you didn’t have the energy to sing, nor the ability to emote enough for it to do any good. You felt numb again, worse than you’d ever felt before. You stole a glance at your phone. 9 am. This would be a long day.

Alphys put you to work reading any and all notes in the lab. At first, she said it was because you were human, and so you might notice something that a monster might not—something that was different between humans and monsters. The project was at a loss enough that you were both grasping at straws. She didn’t call Sans in, and you didn’t ask about him. You pored over the notes, file after file. After a while, you figured that the real reason she was asking you to see these was so you would know she wasn't still planning to kill you and use your soul to track down the other lost human souls and then break the barrier. With science.

“Alphys, why do you keep so many notes?” You thought you were alone in the room when you mumbled it.

“Oh, well… uhh… sometimes I forget entire days, entire weeks… any work or important thing that happened since the last memory, I keep it recorded so I won’t lose as much progress.”

“Huh. Sorry I said anything. Want help organizing them?”

She smiled. “M-maybe.”

That night, you had another nightmare. In this one, you were trapped in the Ruins, and could hear the words, “ _Never trust that you’re alone_ ” repeat in a smoky whisper, always behind you. There was pain in your flesh that you couldn't shake off. When you woke up, you grabbed your phone and then wondered who you were going to try to call. You put the phone back away and tended to the deep scratches you must have inflicted on your upper arms while sleeping. You collapsed on the bed again and tried to will yourself back to sleep. You might have cried, from weariness, nothing more.

Day two of sorting through Alphys’s notes brought you to a great deal of designs for Mettaton’s prototype body. You mused that perhaps if the flower idea worked out, and if Asgore’s soul could thusly be recovered, could Alphys make him a robot body? Surely the King of all monsters would prefer to be a robot than a flower.

That night, you had a dream about the musical. It was during filming, but everyone was gone except for you. You were wearing the mask, and stepped toward a mirror, taking it off. Your abuser’s face looked back at you. Again you woke to struggle with the desire to call someone… and you almost messaged Sans. He’d wanted to help, once… but you put the phone down again, with an air of finality.

You were going to insist on going home to the Ruins tonight. Maybe sleeping in a bed would help.

Day three of note-scouring brought you to the end of Alphys’s records. She said that she hadn’t had as much trouble with her memory before becoming the Royal Scientist. Despite her promises that those files were the last ones, you found more. However, upon opening them, your brain struggled to comprehend the words. Was it a cipher?

“Oh, those…” Alphys smiled hesitantly at you. “Reading those w-won’t do any good. Plus, I’m p-pretty sure those are what messed me up. It’s… uncomfortable to h-hear anything about my predecessor.”

“Who?”

“The f-former Royal Scientist. I can’t remember his name… b-but…” She looked around and shuddered. “Maybe that’s for the best. He c-created the Core, but no one can remember him except for Sans.”

“And you, apparently.”

“Not really... I think it's just b-because I'm always here. I think that if I left and just... never came back here... everything would be fine.”

“Why does no one else remember him?”

“I have no idea. Ummm... I can’t remember anything about him. I don’t think I ever p-personally met him.” She gets a strange look on her face. “I probably won’t r-remember this conversation later. If you do, p-please don’t mention it again t-to me. I-I g-get nauseous when I think about things I can’t remember. I get the feeling like I’m not a-alone in an empty room.”

You nodded. “So these notes. Can you read them?”

“No, but S-Sans can. He did some transcribing on a c-couple of files, if you’re interested.”

You shook your head. “Maybe tomorrow. I need to get going back home in a while…” You opened the file again. “But first, I wanna see if I can crack this cipher. Then you won’t need him to translate.” Yeah, you were being bitter, but it was better than being pitiful.

Ten minutes passed and you tossed the file aside and put your head in your hands. You hadn’t gotten anywhere, though you’d thought you were close once or twice.

“You lasted longer than I did, Birdy. Don’t feel bad. If you… want to… you could, uh…”

“Don’t suggest that, Alphys, please.”

“Just think on it. Undyne s-said that Papyrus is really worried about him.”

“Did he never come home?” You hated yourself for worrying, but you couldn't really help it.

“Well… h-he came home, but he hasn’t left his room in days.”

“Nothing new, huh?” You groused. “Don’t know what he’s so upset about. I didn’t do anything wrong.” Except chuck a presumably dead child’s phone at his skull and twist the metaphoric knife in his chest all in one fell swoop, but… Ah, hell, now you felt bad. But what had _his_ problem been? “Guess I need to talk to him eventually. If for nothing else, to address whatever issue is between us so there are no more questions, and everything’s clear, huh?”

She nodded. “I… kind of hope it’s just a big misunderstanding.”

You smiled weakly. “I’d be lying if I said I disagreed.”

You called Papyrus and told him that, if nothing else, you’d come by and have dinner with him and maybe watch a movie. But not tonight, you had to specify. Papyrus was overjoyed at the notion, he must have been—he seemed even louder than usual as he repeated back almost exactly what you’d just told him. Good thing you hadn’t told him that you wanted to come by specifically to speak to Sans. You had a feeling that Papyrus would end up trying to get you to if you showed up, anyway.

Alphys looked a bit distressed. “Birdy, d-does that bother you?” She had obviously caught onto what Papyrus was doing, as well.

“Not really.” You admitted. “I mean, I thought Sans and I were best friends. Maybe he just got tired of everyone trying to set us up, or maybe he just got… sick of me. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve had friends push me away for being annoying. Without explanation, too, come to think about it.”

“I-I don’t think that’s it.”

“No matter, I’ll figure it out eventually. By the way, how much of this last week have you posted?”

She shook her head. “None of it. It didn’t seem fair.”

“Good. Even if it’s not canon, let them dream.” You said with a much more sincere smile. “If it makes them happy, I can stand it.”

There was a pause as the two of you shuffled around. “Birdy, do you want to play Tetris? I have it on my computer.”

“Oh gods yes.” You breathed. “I haven’t gamed since I was topside.”

Alphys was a genius. She had two modified keyboards that she hooked up to her computer, and you played versus. The longest you lasted against her was five minutes.

“How did you get Tetris, anyway?”

“Oh, w-well I found some old disks and cartridges in the d-dump and when I studied them I found a way to open them on my computer, with some modifications to the machines…”

“Holy shit, you can rom hack!” You crowed. “What other games do you have?!”

“Well, a few consoles have fallen, but I can’t get them to work properly. Water damage.”

“Can’t you just… rebuild them, tweak them? Like you do with phones?” Gods, if she could recreate a specific system, you could finally play your games again! Your fingers cramped and you popped them absentmindedly.

“I suppose I could, but so far it hasn’t worked.” She admitted. She obviously felt much better now that you were animated about something. “We’ve been working hard on this whole Flower-Asgore project, Birdy. Maybe this is something we can work on together, to wind down a bit?”

You nodded. “I do miss my games.”

Undyne had caught the tail end of the conversation, and barged in now, making the two of you jump. “Awww, you’re such a nerd!” As if to apologize for scaring the hell out of you, she brandished food from Muffet’s bakery. The three of you sat and ate, joking with one another.

“Guys, I really missed this kind of thing.” You said at last.

“What do you mean?” Undyne asked.

“Well, before, with everything the way it was… I never really got to hang out with you guys. I was afraid that anything I said would be uploaded to the Undernet.” You smirked. “You guys got carried away with it… and for a while I was upset about it…” You looked at them both as they watched you curiously. “I just wanted to… thank you guys for being here. I appreciate you.”

The silence lasted a moment before they both swamped you with hugs. Undyne laughed and promised to go out and get more booze. Tonight, you were going to stay and have fun.

You thought of your bed wistfully, but assured yourself that there was no harm in dreaming. It was, after all, only a dream. Plus, it would be better to wake from a nightmare in a place with other inhabitants, right? You sat down with Alphys and Undyne and watched Mew Mew Kissy Cutie. You felt out of place, watching it next to them while they cuddled with each other, but you couldn’t mind.

You fell asleep quickly enough, anyway.

_Everything was blue. A rich, vibrant, dark blue, like Shale’s wings. You reached out, wonderingly, seeing if it was just the color of the Void, now, or if you were pressed into something tangible._

_“are you afraid?” someone whispered without a voice._

_“Umm… I am now?” You responded._

_You had the feeling of someone chuckling. You looked around, but still you could only see that decadent color. “you can sense me, if you try.”_

_“Who are you?”_

_“there will be time for that later. i need you to find us. i need you to find **him**.”_

_“You’re gonna need to be a bit more specific than that.”_

_“gaster will help you. tell him blue says hi.”_

Your eyes opened, and you felt something in the Void react, reaching in a direction you couldn’t fathom. You got up and tried to follow its urging. You were outside and walking toward Waterfall before you thought hard about this. Did you really want to follow whatever this was? What if it was the same thing that had been torturing you the past few nights? What would it do when it got you alone, in your waking body?

You pulled out your phone. There was only one person who knew dreams that might not be dreams better than you. You waffled for a moment, and then swallowed your pride.

 

* * *

 

He couldn’t sleep again. He was sitting in the snow, lost in thought, and thumped his head against the stone behind him. “knock knock.” He grumbled. His phone began ringing and he went rigid. He looked at the door he was leaning on suspiciously and took out his phone. He didn’t glance at the caller id. “yellow.”

There was silence for a moment. “I’ll cut to it quickly. Does the name Gaster mean anything to you?” Sans couldn’t breathe. He hadn’t been ready to hear you, and then the words sank in. “Hey, please don’t hang up, I think this is important. I had a dream, and now something weird is happening and… I’m scared.”

“i’m here.” He said with a sigh. “don’t say that name again.”

“Why? The voice said that he'd help me.”

“what voice?” He was really not liking all of this mystery shit that was going on.

“In the dream. He called himself Blue.”

“oh, goddammit.” Sans sighed dismally. “okay… where can i meet you? we need to talk about this as soon as possible, and it can’t be in front of anyone else.”

“Oh… ok. I… sure.”

“no one can know about this. i can meet you in your living room?”

“It’ll take me a while to get there.”

“where are you? i’ll help.”

There was a pause. “You’re sure? I’m out front of the Lab.”

He shut the phone off and was instantly there. You looked a bit startled to see him. You looked worn. He reached out to touch some deep-looking scratches on your arm, but remembered himself and pulled back. “you, uh… ok?”

“Nightmares.” You replied sourly. “Come on, before someone sees you.”

“that’s not what i meant.” He tried to assure you, and the two of you walked.

“Oh, so it’s not that you don’t want people to see you around me?”

“no. i don’t want anyone hearing about what we need to talk about.”

You didn’t seem convinced, but you were both in the Ruins again, and you sat down in your chair, leaving him to lean against the wall lazily, not looking at you. You both tried to speak at once, neither of you coherent. You gestured to him politely, and he sighed.

“before we talk about anything, i need you to know that gaster is someone you can’t talk about. don’t mention him to _anyone_ , especially my bro. got it?” His gaze was empty, and you felt like not agreeing would lead to something terrible. As if this weren’t already a bad time, you knew this was one fight you didn’t want to pick. You nodded. “good. now tell me about this dream.”

You ran through the gist of it, and Sans kept his internal screaming to a minimum. At last, he grumbled. “why did he talk to you?”

“Blue? Yeah, I was wondering that, myself. But, then… I read all of the reports back at the lab, and the ones about the Soul Vessel that got ruined. I wonder if maybe it had something to do with that?”

“how did he find you though? how did no one else notice? it’s kinda obvious for a random human soul to just… i don’t know, _appear_.”

“I already told you, I didn’t see it. I was following something that was leading me.”

“yeah, but what?”

You hesitated. “Well, I call it the Void.” He went rigid against the wall and stared at you, eyes empty again. “It’s been here as long as I remember. The only time it doesn’t ache is when I sing or otherwise… distract myself from it. Some call it heartache, others call it depression… I just call it the Void, because that’s what it is to me. It’s some never-ending emptiness that settled in over my soul, and if I don’t heed it, it makes me hurt.”

He studied your soul, desperate for reassurance that there wasn’t something trying to eat it. No, you weren’t as vibrant as you had been, but you were still there.

“Quit staring at me like that, Sans.” You warned. “Now that I’ve told you about that, tell me about Gaster.”

He grunted in frustration and forced himself to relax against the wall. “fine. well, first off, he created paps and i. he was the former royal scientist. he died.”

A look of understanding swept over your face. “Oh! He’s the one who wrote those ciphered notes.”

That aggravated him. “i thought those were hidden.”

“They were, but I found them. You’re too lazy to hide them well.”

He shrugged. “i’ll take **note** of that for future reference.” You smiled and he tried not to feel that kick of satisfaction from causing it. “anyway. yeah, he wrote in cipher. back on track, he… uh he created the core, and no one can really agree on what happened to him. but rather than just dying, he just kinda… stopped existing.”

“You say that, but…”

“lemme finish, here.” He said coldly, and you flinched. “he doesn’t exist the way we exist. he became something beyond that. if he had simply died, i think it woulda been good for him. he went fuckin crazy toward the end, there… but he’s still conscious, out there scattered across fragments of time and space. he's not at peace, that's for damn sure.”

“How do you and Alphys remember him?” You ask curiously.

“that’s really the first thing you wanna ask about that? was that not… _weird_ enough for ya?” He sighed when you didn’t answer. “sorry. alphys can remember because she is in constant interaction with his work, with fragments of his scattered past. the more she hears or knows about him, the closer to insanity she’ll be. let’s uh, spare her the trouble, huh? that’s why i hid the notes and quit transcribing them.”

You nodded. “What about you, though?”

“i’m his goddamned son. i fucking _saw_ him die. i kinda wish i could forget it, you know? as it was, i only had time to grab papyrus and take a shortcut out of there before it all distorted past recognition.”

“Does he remember him?”

“paps has no memory of that place. i guess you could say he hadn’t truly been born yet. he… i worked hard to make sure he would be happy and not know any of that. knowledge comes with a price, you know… even though i know he could handle it, i just… don’t want him to know the things i do. i think it would hurt him.” He quit rambling and looked at you.

“Okay… I think I understand.” You say apologetically. “But who is Blue?”

“i can’t tell you that.” He said. “i’m not sure, myself.”

“Surely you know something, though. I’m going to find out more if he tries to contact me again.”

“look, there might come a time when I can tell you about that. right now is not that time.”

You looked at him witheringly. Sans felt that crumpling in his soul again. “There 'might come a time,' huh? So when are you planning to tell me? Because you and I haven’t exactly been talking lately.”

“phones work both ways.” He still couldn't meet your eyes. He was not ready for this. He knew you would be angry-- and rightfully so!-- but he had convinced himself that this confrontation wouldn't be necessary.

“Didn’t think you wanted me to call.” Your voice wasn't nearly as cold as his had been. He looked up, hopefully, saw the look on your face. You were hopeful, too.

He sighed and began scraping his fingers at the back of his skull again. You’d grown used to that noise. Hearing it again, you almost wanted to smile. “look, i wish i could explain.”

“Can’t you try? Is it one of those complex things that take diagrams and flowcharts to illustrate, because I have paper you could use!"

“no… shale, it’s…” The scraping was louder now. He was stressed more than lost in thought. “i don’t know how to explain it to myself.”

“Is it because I’m a human?” You guessed.

He managed to hold eye contact with you. Sure, that was part of it, in a vague way. He shrugged. “not entirely.”

“You’re afraid I’ll disappear one day, like Frisk. Is that right? You don’t want to lose a friend, so you push the friend away?”

He glared guiltily at his feet. That was a huge part of it, yes, but it went deeper than that.

“Sans, you can tell me. You can tell me anything.” Your voice was softer than he’d heard it in a while.

“where’d you find the kid’s phone?” He asked quietly. It had been bugging him, and now that you were prying, he felt he should do his share of it, too. You told him the story, not leaving anything out, including your worries that it had been planted for some malicious purpose. Sans was relieved. So you hadn’t just avoided telling him because you’d been disgusted with the message you’d heard him leave. You weren’t disgusted with him—you were legitimately worried. He had taken to walking around the living room; the word pacing would work if ‘lazily shuffling back and forth’ didn’t fit much better. “so i can tell you anything, huh?”

You shuffled in your chair to get a better look at him. Was he going to joke this off, or was he going to actually break down that wall and reach out? The need for closure, for the return of this friendship, filled you with DETERMINATION.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, guys don't hate me, but.... cliffhanger. Yah...  
> I'll try to get the next chapter out before Sunday (which is my day off). The next chapter will be nice, I promise. I know this chapter seems a little short, especially compared to the ones lately, but... believe me, I needed to cut it here. It'll be worth it and you'll probably hate me even more next chapter.  
> I'm just intensely glad that Reader and Sans have the personalities to where if you stick them in a room together, they'll talk their problems out even if they don't want to. Y'know? Sans has the Integrity, and Reader... is, well, Reader. "Let's face our problems head-on!" It's really no wonder they get along with Undyne, huh? Needless to say, this chapter went a bit differently in my head than when I wrote it-- but I think it translates better that way.
> 
> What do you think? Tell me in the comments! It really brightens my whole day to see that anyone enjoys this.
> 
> Tune in next chapter for: (LOL NOPE I can't even type this)


	14. Dating! START!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternate Title: *Sound of a Balloon Deflating*  
> Alternate Title: Ya gotta DRINK da meat juice!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HERE HAVE AN EARLY CHAPTER!  
> EXPECT ANOTHER ONE LATER TODAY?  
> I WILL TRY?  
> IT WILL HAPPEN AS LONG AS BAD THINGS DON'T HAPPEN TO ME?!

“i don’t really like that you agreed to go on a second date with my brother.”

The seconds ticked by. “What?”

“when you talked to him earlier, i heard everything through him.”

“Okay, first off, I wasn’t aware it was a date!”

He shrugged. “that makes sense, i guess.” You couldn’t tell if he was being sarcastic but you hoped that he actually believed you.

“Secondly, are you upset that he called it a date in your earshot because you thought I was leading him on, or because you thought I wasn’t?”

His breath hitched, and he stopped pacing. Damn, you knew how to ask the rough questions. He sawed at the back of his head with his fingers, trying to think of something to say that wasn’t a lie and yet also wasn’t the entire truth. If he was still being entirely honest with himself, he was jealous. _Intensely_ jealous of his own, innocent brother. What was worse was that his “innocent” brother had probably orchestrated this just for his reaction.

Papyrus obviously knew way more than Sans had thought. Damn his love of pranks, traps, and general trickery!

You were still waiting for an answer. He shrugged, feeling his cheekbones radiate an embarrassing amount of magic.

You sighed. “Okay… so… Fuck, I didn’t know it was a date.” You look genuinely concerned now. “Should I call him and back out of it? I mean, he already knows I don’t see him that way…”

You were the one pacing now, to his amusement. “shale, it’ll be alright.”

“Nooo, I seriously don’t understand how this happened.”

“paps is one of the shippers. he was trying to get me to interact with you.”

There was a long silence, where you and he just stared at each other. “Are we seriously the only two souls in the Underground who don’t ship us?”

He wanted to correct you. Technically it was only you. He chuckled, and you laughed back. The tension split open and the two of you ended up collapsing on the ground, laughing together.

“isn’t it still better than the sites shipping you with mettaton, though?”

“Oh! Haven’t you seen the ones shipping me with Undyne, though? That doesn’t even make sense!”

“you and mettaton makes sense?”

You laughed. “Well, we _did_ kiss on screen.”

He tried not to react to the reminder. “yeah.”

“Why are you so grossed out by Mettaton, anyway?”

He was relieved you thought he was just disgusted. With a sigh, he sat up and looked at you. It felt like the last four days had been a really shitty dream. “aside that i’ve seen almost every single movie and show of his, like seventy times a piece, and that i was sure papyrus would be more likely to ask mettaton out, rather than you. also, i’ve seen that musical you were in close to two hundred times in the past week.” And each time he’d seen it, he had immediately turned away, refusing to watch it if he could help it.

“Yeah, I guess I can understand. So, you wouldn’t want him dating Papyrus? I think they’d be cute together.”

“uh no.”

You got up. He looked at you, wondering if you were upset, still. You offered a hand and pulled him up. “Don’t be so **stern** um.”

Having stood up, hands still clasped, he realized he was standing too close and should back away. Or, at least, he would have had to if you hadn’t turned to walk into the kitchen, leaving him to either follow or sit down. “heh heh. that was a good one.”

“I’ve been waiting four days to say it. Come on, I have ketchup. It’s breakfast time.”

“heh, it is. look at that, i’m awake in the a.m. you might be a bad influence on me.”

“You’re **bacon** my heart.”

“ **tibia** honest, i’m actually **egg** zhausted.”

You sighed and pulled ingredients out of the fridge. “I missed this.” You said at last. “By the way, what’s the first thing you want to do when we all get to the surface?” You began cutting things, and he tried not to concentrate on the knife.

“uh, well… we’re assuming it’ll be for good, right?” You give him a look. “ok, yeah… first thing i guess i’d do is… well, last time I camped out under the stars for a while.”

“You wouldn’t want to do it again?”

“if it’s permanent, yeah i’d love to, I guess… but i’m tired of doing the same things over and over, you know?” He tried to gauge your reaction. “what would you do?”

“I want to go and get a roast beef sandwich. With the beef juice.” You say hungrily as you begin to fry what passed for bacon in the Underground.

“what?”

“So when you cook the roast beef, the beef juice gets collected and you stick your sandwich in it and…” You made a truly obscene noise and he felt himself blush. “You have to… Ya gotta **drink** da meat juice!” You said it in such a way that he began to shake with laughter.

“oh, god, shale.”

“What? You’d love it! It’s so… wow, I just realized that the only things I miss about the surface are the moon and meat.”

“plehs stahp.” He laughed even harder at that. He collapsed against the door frame, wheezing.

“And the gaming.” You mused, and then squeaked when bacon grease popped onto your arm.

“you were a gamer?” He asked, and you looked back at him to see stars in his sockets. He still struggled to catch his breath.

“Yeah. Instead of being bottle fed as a baby, I was fed game controllers.” He thought you were fucking serious. You laughed so hard you almost face-planted into the pan. “That was a joke!”

“heh, sorry, i don’t always get sarcasm. plus, i’ve heard humans do weirder things.”

“Like what?” You asked, feigning offense. Now that he was put on the spot, he couldn’t think of anything. “How about I tell you some weird human things?” You offered. “Walmarts. Where everyone acts like Jerry, only worse.”

He would have laughed if the idea hadn’t made him wonder if skeletons could vomit. He wanted to show a proper amount of disgust, but decided that it was too much effort. “can i just stay down here, then?”

You laughed and shrugged. “It’s better down here, I think. Peaceful.”

Looking at you, standing there, cooking and humming to yourself… he could agree with you. He’d seen the surface briefly, intermittently. Humans never took kindly to them—and you knew that. You didn’t have to see the things he saw, you knew the cruelty of your own kind firsthand. Still, though… it was something that everyone dreamed about, not just him. If there really were no more resets, he would be an ass to hinder everyone from getting topside.

Plus, looking at you like this, he could definitely imagine you in the house he’d started renting on the surface, standing in the kitchen, the morning sunlight making you glow. The image was so clear, so lovely… He could imagine—

You stopped humming for a moment and looked at him, as if afraid he’d say something. He’d noticed you did this out of habit, especially when you were working in the lab. He’d never questioned it before, but he’d wanted to. He’d brought it up then, and you’d dismissed it expertly. He figured it was something that had happened topside. He had only gotten you to talk about your life up there once or twice, and he had ached to assure you those things would never happen again.

“whatcha humming?” He asked instead, hoping you’d warm up to the idea of singing.

You looked away shyly. “Just… practicing a song. It’s nothing.”

“what song is it?”

“You probably won’t know it.” You said.

“ah, you’ve become a hipster. did you like it before it was cool, too?”

You chuckled, and remembered something. You reached into the fridge and grabbed something. You tossed a full bottle of ketchup to him, and he caught it. “You have amazing reflexes, you know that?”

He shivered. “they come in **handy**.” He said it without inflection, sockets hollow with memory.

“Was that an intentional skelepun?”

He shrugged. “who can **patella** anymore?”

You hummed appreciatively. “So, anyway, we should talk about work.” You were scraping two helpings of scrambled eggs onto plates. You handed one to him. Reluctantly he took it. “Smother them in ketchup. That’s what I did as a kid.” You told him, and passed him a fork. You sat down in the living room and ate.

He made an appreciative noise. “not bad. but yeah, you’re right. we need to figure this stuff out. toriel won’t wait forever.”

“Not just that… but… the soul tracking thing.”

“heh, if you go about doing any **soul-searching** , make sure to take me along to keep you outta trouble.” He chuckled. “don’t wanna be driven up a tree again, do ya?”

You blushed a bit. “Noted. But why is it happening?”

He shrugged. “maybe blue is a prankster.”

Something about that remark made you think about something. You let it go, moving on. “Alright, we’ll get back to that later, since you don’t want to tell me who Blue is. What are your thoughts on Flowey?”

He grumbled. “shit, you’re gonna make me lose my appetite.”

“Eat it anyway, and then tell me.” You advised. “Don’t waste my food.”

He chuckled. “well… i got quite the hypothesis about that little smiling shit.”

You hitched an eyebrow and grinned. “Oh? Do tell.”

He loved it when you looked at him like that. “long time ago, back when tori and asgore were together, they had a **kid** … literally. his name was asriel, and… well, he was much loved. now, bear in mind, i wasn’t exactly there for all of this.” You ushered him on. “there was a human kid who fell, and they were around asriel’s age. they took them in, of course. kid was named chara.” He took a breath. “well, chara died, and asriel fused with their soul to take their body through the barrier.”

“Holy shit, that’s an option?!” He stared at you. “Sorry, go on.”

“when he got topside, the humans attacked him. he managed to get back down before he turned to dust in the throne room.” He paused. “you follow me, right? his dust spread in the throne room. with all those flowers.” Your eyes lit up. “yeah, see, what i think is that flowey is only sentient because of asriel’s dust. i would bet my entire ass that i’m right.”

“But you don’t have one.” You remarked.

“what, you been looking?” He taunted, and let out a surprised bark of laughter when you turned scarlet.

You were silent for a while, but spoke up when you finished breakfast. “We can’t tell Toriel about this. Not until we know for sure.”

“yeah, she’s uh… lost a lot of kids. pretty sure that’s a raw nerve.”

You sighed. “Well, apparently, she has two kids, now. Other than Flowey, if your hypothesis is right.”

He looked at you, concerned. “whatcha mean?”

“Well, she said she considers you like one of her kids… and me, too.”

“huh, go figure.” He muttered. “and she ships us. that’s kinda gross.”

“Oh, wow, I just got Sibling-zoned. That has to be worse than Friend-zoned.” He let out a strangled noise and drowned it with a gulp of ketchup. He knew you were joking, but it still made his hands shake. “Hey! I just had an idea. I need you to take a picture with me.”

“uhh…”

“Yeah, just use your magic to work the camera while you beat the hell out of me.” You laughed at his reaction. “No, but really. Take a picture with me, and we’ll send it to Alphys. Instant day off.”

His sockets were filled with stars again. “wow, you’re even lazier than i am.”

“And you’re a bad influence. You bring out the worst in me.” You said, reaching for your phone.

“naw, i’m thinking **meat juice** brings out the worst in you.”

You began laughing, but then you got a good look at your phone. “Oh shit.”

Sixteen missed calls, and even more messages. When had you silenced your phone?

The door slammed, and you heard footsteps as two figures sprinted through on their way to your living room. “PUNK!” You heard it, a desperate cry full of rage and fear. “YOU HAD BETTER BE HERE!”

Papyrus was clamoring incoherently, obviously worried beyond belief. You looked at Sans. “Living room!” You called.

“NGAAAAAAH!” Undyne rounded the corner atop the stairs and sprinted into the living room. Whatever she had planned to say never left her mouth, though, as she took in the sight. You and Sans sitting together, empty plates in hand, looking perplexed. “Are you… are you fucking kidding me?”

Papyrus finally caught up with Undyne and peered around her into the living room. Relief washed over his expression, followed by smugness. “HELLO HUMAN! ARE YOU GETTING READY FOR OUR DATE?” He was looking pointedly, haughtily, at his brother. You chuckled.

“I wouldn’t call it a date, Paps.” You reminded him.

Undyne turned around and grabbed Papyrus, dragging him away with her. “Looks like they're already on one, bud.” She said, wicked glee in her voice.

“Aren’t you going to take a picture and send it to Alphys?” You called after her. Papyrus let out an eager noise and scrambled back to the living room with Undyne in tow.

“shale!” Sans groaned. You chuckled, and tried not to notice your face’s sudden heat.

Undyne took an ungodly amount of pictures, mostly because Sans kept trying to obscure himself. He eventually gave up when you pulled him into a one-armed hug and beamed. If only Undyne would have showed you the resulting photo. “Permission to put this online?” She begged.

“I’m fine with it, how ‘bout you, bonehead?” He didn’t answer, and you glanced over to see his face so flushed as to be obscured. “What?” _Oh!_ In response to your sudden realization, your face heated again. “Is it my ribs, or something?” You ask, letting go and scrambling back. “Sorry…”

Undyne cackled madly as she danced out of the room. She had gotten a few more pictures in, you were sure. Silence reigned, and the two of you sat there, the silence heavy and uncomfortable. You both struggled palpably for a way to cut the tension again.

Your phone began to ring—it was the ringtone you’d assigned to Alphys’s number. You answered gratefully, and listened as your excited yellow friend remarked about the photos and how many hits they were already getting on the Undernet. You made a note to not go out in public today.

Alphys surprised you with a suggestion. “Umm, since w-we are actually due for a d-day off, would you and S-Sans like to come with me and Undyne to the dump?”

“Alphys!”

“N-no! No, not a double date or anything! Just… well, we might find something cool, and I figured it might be fun for you both, too.”

You relayed the question to Sans, who smiled weakly and shrugged acquiescence. “Guess we’ll be there in a few minutes.”

“Awesome! Wear something that can get wet and be washed!” She reminded and hung up before it became necessary to say goodbye. Both of you understood and shared a hatred of drawn out goodbyes.

“Well…” You turned to Sans and lay your phone down. “I guess I’ll go get changed and we can head over? I’d ask if you wanna walk, but I’ll be wearing shorts… Not gonna lie, I’m hoping you’ll show me a shortcut.” You waited. “Also, I don’t know if you exactly want to go out in public right now.”

He made a lazy but inquisitive noise, and sat down in your chair. You answered him. “Well, the shipping is in full swing again.”

He chuckled weakly. “eh, doesn’t bother me.”

You smirked at him. “Good to know.”

“does it bother you?” There was something in his voice. You couldn’t identify it, and he wasn’t looking at you. He was sitting like he could fall asleep, eyes closed. Despite his effort to appear relaxed, you could see the tension in the way his fingers kept furling and unfurling, as if he were trying to distract himself or focus on something else.

“No.” You told him. “Not at all. It used to, yeah, but… I don’t know. It’s kind of funny. And…” You sighed, trying to align your words. “If everyone in the Underground wants to focus on who I want to date rather than the… assumption that they’ll all be stuck down here forever, I’m all for it.”

You glanced back at him to find his eyes open, looking at you as if he’d never just _looked_ at you before. Not coldly clinical, but just as studious as he was in the lab. You shivered and hurried off to your room. He hadn’t been looking at your soul, either. No, he had just been looking at _you_. For some reason, that made you feel even more naked than the idea he could look into your being at any time.

You found yourself humming again as you picked out the shorts and tank you’d be wearing. You chose a sports bra, knowing that the Tank of Happiness would be a bit too much for strenuous activity. Pulling on your flats, you stepped out without looking yourself over more than twice. You were going to be picking through garbage—you weren’t going on Mettaton’s show, or something.

His gaze softened when you came back, and he got up and followed you closely as you walked. You knew that the shortcuts worked, if not how, and so didn’t need to ask if he was ready. The moisture in the air hit you right before the smell did, and you coughed and sputtered for a moment. Sans gave you an amused look, dug in his pocket, and pulled out a square of fabric. “Sans, why did you have a bandana?”

He shrugged. “i seriously have no idea. was probably going to use it in a joke. it’s been in my pocket for years now.”

“It has abs printed on it.” You observed and he chuckled. With a sigh, you tied it around your face, grateful to have something to stifle the stench of the dump—even if that meant you would be smelling ketchup and grease (and a mysterious other thing that you couldn’t identify).

You knew you probably looked ridiculous, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. Alphys and Undyne joined you before things could get awkward again, thankfully. Undyne delegated that she would do some diving, as there was sometimes some cool stuff washed up a ways off. Alphys headed for her usual picking grounds, and pointed to an area that you and Sans could investigate. There was an air of “do it together” in her voice, and neither of you even bothered to argue.

You told yourself it was mostly because you and Sans made an awesome team.

You found yourself having fun, to your surprise. You even started singing under your breath. You looked up at Sans to see him staring at you again, and that was when you realized you were singing. “don’t stop. you sound nice.” He said quietly, so as not to attract Alphys’s attention. She had been picking over the same pile of debris for a while, trying to keep in earshot of the two of you.

You felt yourself blush. “Thanks.”

“what song is it? tell me about it.” He said. “it’ll make the search more interesting.”

You snorted, and he grinned wider. “It’s, uh… from a video game I like. I… uh, have it at home, but no console.”

“sounds fun.” He said.

“It’s a funny game. And perverted, come to think of it. You’d probably love it.”

He hitched his browbone at you again and you were glad for the bandana, as it hid your blush. “maybe we can play it sometime. so tell me about the song.”

“It’s the [song for the ending credits](https://youtu.be/s7jJ3sjbp2M), and it basically makes fun of the entire game. It’s awesome, and ties it together so well. Then you can replay it on a harder difficulty. I never could get the hang of hard mode.” You chuckled. “The more I think about it, the more I want to show it to you. I could teach you the song, and you could do the cheering woman’s part.”

He laughed. “The what?”

“There are parts in the song where a chick in the background echoes a piece of what the guy singing the main part says, and it makes it so much funnier, especially in the Japanese version. She gets _way_ too into it and sounds squeaky.”

“you really think i can do that?”

“No, but it would be awesome anyway. Hell, _I’ll_ do the cheering woman’s part, I don’t care! It would be worth it. Usually I do both, anyway. Makes it even funnier.”

“we’ll take turns, then.” He chuckled. “how bout this. if you can sing it at the top of your lungs down here, i’ll beat hard mode when we actually get to play it.”

“Hey! There’s no guarantee that will happen soon!”

“what console is it for, anyway?”

“PS2.” You mutter dismally. “But even if we found one, there’s no guarantee we could get it to work.”

“shale… trust me. we’ll find one.”

The two of you migrated to another pile, and he finally convinced you to sing it. Perhaps you agreed because it was something you didn’t have to put effort into; it was just full of fun and happiness. You had to stop multiple times because he would start laughing, and that would make you laugh. “dude, stop.” He begged, almost falling down in the water and garbage, but you hauled him up again, looked him dead in the eyes and used the squeaky cheering woman’s voice. He burst into hysterical laughter and you had to support his entire weight. You didn’t really remember that he was heavy, and you both fell over onto the garbage.

You heard Alphys squeak, and looked over to her to see her blushing and covering her face with her hands. Her expression screamed, “My fanfic is writing itself!”

You looked at Sans, propped up on the garbage, and realized your face, still shrouded in the bandana, was inches from his, and you were flush against him. He was chuckling still, but there was a soft look in his eyes that wasn’t humor. You cleared your throat and got up, helping him up, as well.

An hour later, Alphys called you over. She had actually been looking through the garbage. She was struggling to pull a piece of machinery out of the refuse. Sans managed to get it out of the pile using his magic, and there was less damage done. You looked at it in wonderment, and your face cracked into an unmatched grin when you saw that familiar logo. “No fucking way.”

“wanna play that game later?”

“Alphys, can you save it? Were there any controllers?”

“I have seven controllers with this trademark on them, back at the lab. They might or might not work, though.”

“don’t worry about that. believe it or not, i actually think i can rebuild this.”

Alphys scoffed. “Sans, you really think you can build a machine better than I can?”

“nah, i’m saying i can repair machines better than you could.”

She obviously wanted to argue, but after a moment’s thought, she dismissed her ire. “F-fine.” She took out her phone and called Undyne. After a brief conversation, Alphys told you and Sans that they were going to head back to the lab. The two of you were welcome to come, too, but after trading glances with each other, you both decided to head back.

Sans helped you get back to the Ruins and said he’d be working on the system. You grabbed your games and thrust them into his arms. “These are my babies. Take care of them.” You said seriously and then referenced the song again. “Or I’ll dragon kick your ass into the milky way!”

“heh, i _still_ don’t have an ass.” He said. “i’ll message you when i make some progress.”

“Any way I could see? It’s like… I don’t know… Frankenstein’s Console, or something. That’s what I’m expecting, anyway.”

He shuffled uncomfortably, and his hand drifted to the back of his skull. “no one’s ever been back there. not sure if i’m ready for that.”

He hadn’t been talking about his room, then? At that point you realized that even if he _had_ been planning to work in his room, you probably didn’t want to be alone in there with him. The idea made your face blaze uncomfortably.

“how about you come by with grillby’s? extra ketchup. i’ll be empty by then. got some cleaning to do, anyway.”

You snorted. “Sure you don’t want the help?”

He shrugged. “it’s fine. see you later.”

Once alone, you pulled your disgusting clothes off and grabbed a clean change that was more weather appropriate. You showered blissfully, practicing the song that you had begun to associate with him. Had that Void been less insistent than usual today? You only noticed now. That was odd…

“I wonder… if I can track Blue whenever I want to. By trying, or something. Determination…” You muttered as you scrubbed the persistent scent of garbage from your body. Your scars were healed up enough that you could scrub over them without pain or the fear of them splitting open. Between all of the monster food you consumed on a daily basis and how quickly your body had been healing anyway, you almost thought the scars themselves would fade.

You knew otherwise, of course. It did give you hope, though… that one day there would be no proof that your abuser had ever touched you.

You shook off his memory much easier than you had before, and returned to the song, singing it again and again. Would you have the courage to perform it tonight? You wanted to, you realized. Perhaps, if you had sung it before that little fight, he wouldn’t have instigated it. Perhaps he would have been there, and…

And what? Who knew what would happen if any one action were performed in a different order? You couldn’t let yourself be upset over something you couldn’t change. You smiled, remembering that, even if the last four days or so had been terrible, today had made it worth it. You had your best friend back…

Why did you feel so sad, though?

No, don’t be sad! There’s no _reason_ to be sad!

You sang the song again, but it was halfhearted.

“Stop it.” You told yourself firmly. “You’re gonna tire your voice out doing this. If you feel like singing later, let it happen, but don’t force it. Take it one day at a time.”

You changed, toweled your hair off, and stared at yourself in the mirror, trying to psyche yourself up. You felt ridiculous. It was just a song, wasn’t it? No, if you called it that, you would be doing it—and your feelings—a disservice. But… was there a reason it felt so dangerous to sing it for him? Was it your magic? Ah, you were afraid he’d see into your soul. Hadn’t he already though? Why was this different? Because when you sing, you feel more. You feel everything. Not just your own feelings, but the feelings around you. It’s like becoming one with whoever you’re around, and… that’s why you didn’t trust yourself to sing in front of others. The only other person you’d cared that much for… had poisoned that love, poisoned your music…

Sans wouldn’t do that. You reminded yourself, firmly.

“Huh… well…” You felt awkward and stupid. You looked into your eyes in the mirror. Once, you had told yourself that some of those scars would never heal. Now you weren’t so sure. Everything was getting better. As you looked into those eyes, you didn’t feel disgust at a person who hadn’t fought back, you saw someone who was building themself up again after surviving their own personal hell. Instead of hating yourself, you were beginning to respect that weird, awkward person staring back at you.

But were you really ready?

You took a deep breath and pulled out your phone. You needed to practice one more thing before you left. You summoned the translation to mind and focused it into your phone. It didn’t work the way you wanted it to… But there had to be a way to get the words across! Singing him a song half in and half out of English… you were afraid he wouldn’t understand. You were afraid he wouldn’t see how much this song meant to you—how much you wanted it to mean to him, too.

You thought for a moment and then laughed. Duh, not every monster in the Underground could talk in a singular language—some couldn’t even talk! Focusing through the phone… it would get the point across, wouldn’t it? Maybe your magic would do the rest of the work. Worst case scenario, you write it down and pass it to him like a middle school note.

You forced yourself to breathe. You were ready for this. Pushing the call button filled you with DETERMINATION!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In all seriousness, it is late at night, and I need to get some sleep so I can spend the better part of my beloved off day writing another chapter or three. The next chapter is the one I've been WAITING to write for sooo long now. So, just so you know, from here on, there will be fluff. Minimal angst... just... satisfying... fluff-- and then plot will hit us like a wall.
> 
> Thank you everyone for being awesome! Please feel free to tell me what you think. This is my first actual fanfic, still... so, if I mess something up, don't be shy to tell me! Also if you have any ideas, do tell me! You have no idea how happy I am to see things in my inbox. It literally makes me happier than almost anything right now. Thank you all for your support!


	15. Keep Me 'Till the End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LOTS OF PROFANITY IN THIS CHAPTER  
> THIS IS GOOD SHIT GOOD SHIT RIGHT HERE IF I DO SAY MYSELF  
> Get ready for gaming with the Skelebros and some FEEEEEELS  
> Also, reference to marijuana at one point.
> 
> Edit: 5/23/16 Nothing major, just some stylistic edits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize. I thought I would have more time to work on this today. I seriously did. I am ashamed. This is why I do not make promises. But, it's before midnight for me, so I suppose I didn't technically break promise.
> 
> I am bad.
> 
> The translation to Clock Strikes by One OK Rock was not my work. (http://www.animelyrics.com/jpop/oneokrock/clockstrikes.htm)  
> Show them some love, because they definitely deserve it for such a lovely job done!

“yeah, it’s going fine. actually, was gonna try to hook it up to a tv soon. see if it works. i’m gonna go pick up those controllers and see if any of them work. wanna head over? i’ll be back by time you get here.”

You were so excited. About as excited as when Mettaton had asked you to be the Phantom. That warmed him with pride. You were just a total nerd. An absolute, total…

“what?”

“I said we shouldn’t play Godhand in front of Paps. Too perverted. Even though it’s mostly innuendo, I think I’d just about die if he repeated any of it. Also, cursing… and stuff.”

“sure, sure. what are these other games?”

“They’re right there with you, aren’t they?” You asked, panic sneaking into your voice.

“yeah, but i’ve never even heard of them.”

“Oh, ok… yeah… Well, _Shadow of the Colossus_ is a great game. Very beautiful. Dark, though. Uh…. _Okami_ is a great game… I should definitely show it to Alphys. Very Japanese.”

“neither of those are two player, though.”

“Yeah, I had very few two-player games. Never really had gamer friends on the surface.”

“hey, this one’s two player. what is ssx?”

“Oh! That was one of the first games I got. Holy hell, does it even still work? It’s a snowboarding game.”

“is it safe to play in front of paps?”

“Yes, unless you think he’ll start trying to snowboard here. It’s kind of a dangerous sport.”

He read the back of the box. “it says rated e. it’s okay.”

You chuckled. “Alright, then. Go get the controllers. I’ll see you soon.” As the call disconnected, Sans just held it, rubbing at his brow. Today was just… too much. Hell, he was convinced he was going crazy. He wondered again if he’d gotten all the garbage smell off as he took a shortcut to Alphys’s lab.

He had a feeling—and perhaps no small bit of hope—that the rest of the day would be just as crazy.

 

* * *

 

You spent five minutes searching desperately for your boots before you remembered that they were in your dimensional storage. Your coat was, too, to your relief. You hurried out into the snow, stumbling a bit from your enthusiasm. By the time you got to Grillby’s you were panting and covered in snow, which began to thaw immediately as you approached the bar. He gave you a stern look and you apologized for tracking so much water into the restaurant. He shook his head, and you struggled to hear him through your summoned veil of magic. He was laughing slightly. His voice was soft, “I am glad everything is okay.”

You nodded. “I take it you’ve seen the website, then.”

He nodded too. “You seem much… calmer than usual.”

“I’m not mad anymore, if that’s what you’re implying. However, you kinda owe me one.”

“Oh?”

“I really want to see what exactly is on that website.”

He blushed furiously as you watched. “You’re… sure?”

“Look, Fireball, if everyone in your entire world had a running joke about you behind your back, wouldn’t you be the least bit curious about it?”

He chuckled. “Just _curiosity_ , then? Why don’t you ask to be unbanned? They already said that you gave express permission to keep the website running.”

You sighed dismally. “Of course they did.” You glowered at the counter. “Anyway, I need two burgers and as much ketchup as you’re willing to spare.”

He gave you another look and headed to the back. You pulled your phone out and shot Alphys a message, broaching the topic. She wouldn’t say no, you were convinced. You also checked the plethora of messages, feeling terrible that the majority were from Undyne and Papyrus trying to get word of your whereabouts. You figured that while that had been going on, Alphys had been checking camera footage, trying to find you.

As you sat waiting for an answer, Grillby returned with your order, passed it to you and ushered you out. He deviously said he’d put it on Sans’s tab, and you grumbled in mock-aggravation.

You stumbled through the front door to find Papyrus eagerly trying to hook the PS2 up to the TV while Sans looked on from the couch. You pulled your boots off, shrugged off your coat hurriedly and rushed to help him in his efforts, setting the bag of food on Sans’s lap. You had experience with this particular console setup, after all.  To your ultimate joy, it whirred to life when you turned it on. You squealed a little bit, and it startled Papyrus. “BROTHER, THE HUMAN SEEMS TO BE ELECTRONICALLY AFFECTED BY THIS BOX. SHOULD WE TURN IT OFF? I AM CONCERNED.”

“don’t worry about it, bro. they’ll calm down later, hopefully before they die.”

Papyrus began to protest that if there was a possibility of human injury, it should definitely be turned off, but you attacked him with a hug. “I’m okay, Paps, it’s a joke. I’m fine, I’m just really excited to play again.” You sighed happily. “This game brings back really fond memories. Hey, guys, I should probably do a couple things to unlock more characters so you guys can have a choice in who you play!” Papyrus agreed, admitting he needed to clean up the kitchen. He had tried to cook earlier, but the search for you had led to there being some messes, and maybe some ruined cookware. You and Sans exchanged guilty glances, but Papyrus just laughed and said he was glad everyone was happy again.

The game, to your surprise, worked perfectly, and you spent the better part of an hour playing the game, showing Sans the ins and outs of it, and some of the devastatingly effective shortcuts. You explained some of the characters, which ones were your favorites, and so on. “I would say that it’s too bad it’s not one of the newer ones that give you character creation, but…”

“got more invested in this one, huh?”

“Yeah, graphics be damned, this is my favorite SSX game.”

He laughed. Papyrus finally came back from cleaning and you handed him the controller. You showed him how to play, and gave him tips while you and Sans ate. Papyrus was an amazingly quick learner, you discovered. He seemed to have an amazing knack for learning the tricks and making amazingly complex combos. Your fingers twitched, and you popped them absently. Sans jumped next to you, and you gave him an apologetic glance. He focused on drinking the ketchup and not meeting your eyes. He was blushing. You looked back at the screen in time to see Paps land an impossible trick. At the rate he was going, he was going to unlock all the things. “You’re a natural, Paps.” You praised. “You might even be able to beat me.”

You let the brothers play together for a while, thoroughly enjoying their banter back and forth. Sans managed to beat Papyrus by annoying him with puns until Paps wiped out. When Sans found out how to knock someone off their feet, he kept pushing Paps right before big jumps and telling him to get dunked on. Paps, though, still usually ended up winning. You scooted closer and quietly warned him when shortcuts were coming up. Well, thanks to that, Paps only really won the point collection mode. Sans was now a racing master, with you pointing out all of the entirely unfair secret passages.

“Ugh, we don’t have a memory card.” You realized. “We won’t be able to save any of this.”

Sans shrugged. “should be easy enough to make one, between alphys and i working on it.”

“What?”

“well, i mentioned something about it to her, and she said there might be one out there somewhere. she and undyne went back out to the dump to look for more things.”

“She doesn’t know what she’s looking for though!”

“sure she does. i told her what to look for.”

You remembered he used to game on the surface too, when he’d been up there. You resolved to ask him about it later, when Paps wasn’t in the room. Just like talking about Gaster, talking about his “nightmares” and the surface were strictly forbidden in front of others.

“HUMAN, YOU ARE HUMMING QUITE LOUDLY. WOULD YOU LIKE TO SING?”

You froze. What had you been humming? Oh, with relief, you realized it wasn't the song you had been practicing earlier, but something else entirely. It was fitting, you thought. So sweet, just like the moment you were sharing with everyone.

“I guess so, if it’s okay.”

“IT IS ALWAYS OKAY! THE GREAT PAPYRUS WOULD LOVE TO HEAR YOU SING AS HE IS VICTORIOUS OVER THE FORCES OF LAZINESS!” As he spoke, he tried to follow Sans through one of the shortcuts and hit an obstacle, getting booted from the secret tunnel. He let out a frustrated groan.

“heheh **icy** you’re having some problems there.”

“SAAANS!”

“you want me to stop?”

“YES, STOP!”

“ **snow** problem.”

“AAAAAAAAAAAGH!”

After the resulting laughter had subsided, Sans nudged you with his elbow. “sing?” he was quiet enough that Papyrus didn’t hear him. You nodded and pulled out your phone, focusing through it.

As the [song ](https://youtu.be/ptPXxAds1Jc)started up, you felt your smile grow. You took a breath and sung quietly, “Don’t change your name, keep it the same for fear I may lose you again. I know you won’t, it’s just that I am unorganized and I want to find you when… something good happens.” You watched as the boys played in silence, listening to you. Sans had even quit using the shortcuts, focusing more on what you were singing.

“If you come down, we’ll got to town. I haven’t been there for years. But I’d be fine, wasting our time, not doing anything here. Just doing nothing.” Papyrus was humming along to the little riff between verses, now, to your amusement. Sans was moving his head back and forth as the song went on, and you just focused on putting it through your phone as you watched them play. The song went quiet for a moment, and Sans wiped out. You almost giggled. “We’ll sit for days, and talk about things important to us like whatever. We’ll defuse bombs, walk marathons, and take home whatever, together.” The music started back up again, and Papyrus won the race, but rather than being excited as he would have been, he just laughed and continued to hum along.

You all three took turns playing, until Sans escorted Papyrus upstairs to read him his bedtime story. While he was up there, you switched out SSX for Godhand, a wicked smile on your face. You waited for him to come back down before starting the game, and handed him the controller. “You won’t be able to unlock hard mode until normal mode is beaten, and there’s no hope in playing it at all if you haven’t already played it before going to hard mode.” You explained. “This game kinda pisses me off, sometimes. Once you unlock the poisonous Chihuahua races, though, we can make infinite money!”

He chuckled, taking the remote. “oh god, poisonous chihuahuas?”

“Yes. They come in five colors—and one of the bosses can turn you into one.”

“this game is awesome.”

“You haven’t even played it yet!”

“i didn’t know i needed this in my life.” He marveled, and you both began playing it. He was immensely amused by Elvis and Shannon, two demons, interacting. He glanced at you. “that’s what alphys calls tsundere, right?”

You choked. “You called it!”

The two of you started laughing so hard, the further you got into the game. His quick reflexes got him through fights without dying—the first time he’d died had been the first time he fought a female enemy. The spank attack popped up, and he dropped the controller with a startled noise. Game Over. You had laughed uproariously at him and his intense blush. You took the controller and beat that particular room, using the offending attack as many times as possible and laughing each time.

“dude, this guy is like undyne.” Sans said, making the character repeatedly taunt the enemy just to piss them off.

“Yeah, and Olivia is Mettaton.” You referenced the main character’s ‘boss’ who gave him the power to fight demons. “Weird, huh?”

“yeah. but it’s funny at least.”

“So… what games did you play last time around? On the surface?”

To his credit, he didn’t even appear startled or upset at the question. He was focused on the enemies that he’d sufficiently taunted into beating the absolute shit out of him. Game Over. He sighed but grinned at you. “well, i liked dark souls, and in one of the timelines, alphys found an snes with super mario bros.”

“She probably has it, Sans. In her computer.”

He made a noise. “i’m so building a computer.” He paused. “but i actually did enjoy dnd. It was the most fun i think i ever had. i was the only monster in the party, too. i wonder how they’re doing.”

“You mean you played with humans?”

“yeah, not all humans wanted us dead. the guy who rented to me was the dm, even. we all played in my living room, and had to wait for days when paps wasn’t home.”

“Ah, yeah.” You recalled how your own campaigns had gotten out of hand. “I can understand. My first day in a campaign, one guy ended up in a relationship with an octopus. And I apparently had a drunken table-dancing competition with a barmaid that ended with she and I being… otherwise occupied for three entire hours.”

He laughed. “tame. my character seduced everything they possibly could. i had the highest charisma score, so i could seduce literally anything. my proudest moment was when i seduced the door. the dm tried to kill me by making the door reveal a dragon, but i seduced it, too. i had a threesome with a door and a green elder dragon. while the rest of the party watched.”

“That’s so fucking awesome! How does that even work?!”

He shrugged. “i just wish i could remember all the puns i’d cracked about it. think i made one about slamming the dragon in the door, but… i was so high.”

“You…?”

“yeah, i was always stressed out over the resets, so the paladin brought me some weed. it was my first time smoking it, too.”

You let out an incredulous laugh. “Did it help?”

“i fucked a door and a dragon.” He answered. “and i think i ate an entire pizza.”

The two of you sat, listening to the game music on the TV. “for the longest time…” Sans said. “i was so upset with frisk for taking that away from me. and not giving it back… it became unbearable after a while, the lack of resets… it really got to me. scared me.”

He sighed. “it’s like… the one thing that gave my world structure, the one thing i could rely on was stripped away. i was just as scared it wouldn’t happen again as i was that it would. i feel like i’m living on borrowed time, waiting for something i can’t expect. after being able to at least guess what would happen next for so long, and being able to have some degree of control over everything around me… i was scared and angry to have it all stripped away.”

You looked at him, expecting to see him about to panic, but his gaze was dull and steady. When had you begun holding his hand? You only noticed now that you saw that’s what he was staring at. “i… sometimes just remember that this could be forever. that this time, it’s a one-way street. and i won’t have another chance to do anything, to save anyone, to live the way i could. i guess i just wasn’t ready to cope with it. now that it matters, i focus on my mistakes even more, and… shale, i’m sorry. i shouldn’t have been like that.”

You were silent for a while, and the longer you waited to respond, the more uneasy he became. You reassured him by squeezing his hand gently. Finally you spoke. “Every moment we exist, every experience we have… it influences us incrementally. Like… we’re clay, being molded by the world around us. We become something different, something new, with each thought, each idea, each pain. We can’t change what has already molded us, but we can influence ourselves, and look forward to what we can become, rather than look at how we might have started.” You took a deep breath and willed yourself to continue. "If you erase one thing, who's to say it won't change the entire product? Sure, some of those things suck... some of them you'd rather forget ever even happened... but... at the end of the day, you're still beautiful, and you're still being molded. You can only work to become something you're proud of."

Again, silence reigned, and you moved to get up. He tugged your hand a bit roughly, refusing to let go of it, and you fell back onto the couch, into his arms. He held you, face buried in your shoulder. You felt your heart pounding in your head, but you put your arms around him, too, resting your head against the plushness of his jacket. “thank you.” You could feel the rumble of his voice. “even though things… weren’t supposed to end like they did… i’m really glad they did. i feel like… there’s more than just endings and beginnings, now.”

Your phone began to make weird noises, and you tried to reign in your emotions. You tightened your arms around him. “I want to sing for you.” He chuckled, and you pressed yourself further to him, enjoying the feeling of his voice, like distant thunder. You felt a change in the air around you, and the smells of the skelebros’ house faded into the familiar scent of your home. You realized he had taken a shortcut, placing him directly in your chair, you still draped over him. It was at this time that your brain chose to process where you were, what you were doing. You scrambled off of his lap, your phone making more of those strange, garbled noises as you tried to calm your heart’s erratic rhythm. His smile was less of amusement and more of nervous anticipation.

Could you really do this? You were afraid. What if it didn’t work? What if he didn’t like it?

What was worse was that the phone was egging you on—you realized it now. Those strange, garbled noises were a mixture of your pulse and the song’s first few notes. You looked into his eyes, and tried to summon your courage, your perseverance, your Determination. Anything that could help you not disappoint him or yourself. Your magic was boiling under your skin, the Void in your chest pulsated, urging you to let everything out. Your phone made the clicking noise of a [clock](https://youtu.be/6YZlFdTIdzM), and you knew it was now or never. The song had begun. You closed your eyes and—

“What waits for you? What’s breaking through? Nothing for good, you’re sure it’s true? If ‘eternity’ were declared as non-existant, wouldn’t it be just too lonesome and painful to bear? Everyone wants to believe it, but can’t take the risk of the deep wounds of betrayal. If only we could come to realize, we have to keep believing that a world where ‘eternity’ applies. It isn’t merely a dream, and that that’s the kind of world we should wish for. What will we have?

“Believe that time is always forever and I’ll always be here. Believe it till the end. I won’t go away and won’t say never. It doesn’t have to be, friend. You can keep it till the end. Let’s try declaring ‘eternity’ as non-existent. Just how many hopes and dreams will shatter? As I try imagining all the despair over non-existing things, and the cruelty of the things that do exist, it makes me want to stop the hand that flips over the pages. How will we have?

“Believe that time is always forever, and I’ll always be here. Believe it till the end. I won’t go away, and won’t say never. It doesn’t have to be, friend. You can keep it till the end.” The song softened, and you opened your eyes. Your magic was everywhere, like smoke, but it let out a soft light and wrapped around everything, into everything. You could feel everything—and you knew by how he was looking at you, not into you, that he could too.

You spoke through the song now, sang it exactly how it was in your heart. “Believe that time is always forever, and I’ll always be here. Believe it till the end! I won’t go away and won’t say never. _We don’t have to be friends—you can keep me till the end_.” You stepped forward. “You can keep me till the end.” Your magic added, “Time will stay! Time goes by!”

You took his hands. “Keep me till the end.” The song faded off, and the room was suddenly dark, your magic dissipating. Your legs were weak, but you forced yourself to keep standing. Sans stood up, letting go of your hands. You were wracked with chills, your whole body quaking from nerves and the sudden expulsion of all of your energy. You felt his arms around you, pulling you to him again. Neither of you spoke. It wasn’t necessary. You let the tears come, pressing your face against his sternum as he lay his skull against the top of your head.

 

* * *

 

You were so soft in his arms, so warm. You trembled, and he was overcome with the desire to protect you, to hold you forever. There were so many thoughts piling up in his head. He was trying to figure out a way to say them, when you spoke.

“I don’t want to be alone tonight... and I left my coat and boots at your house.”

“that’s fine. wanna crash on our couch?”

“Maybe.” You yawned. “If just to make sure you don’t stay up playing Godhand all night.”

“ya got me.” He chuckled. There was a comfortable silence. He almost regretted breaking it. “thank you, shale.”

You were asleep on the couch almost as soon as you laid down, and he covered you up. Despite your implication that you didn’t want him gaming all night, that was exactly what he did, until he slumped over the controller at around 4 am.

 

* * *

 

You woke up at 8 am to your phone shrieking Alphys’s ringtone. Papyrus was in the kitchen, using the little cookware that hadn’t been ruined to make breakfast as quietly as he could. As some point, Sans had laid back, and you had your arm draped over his shoulder onto his chest.

The both of you were definitely awake now, and you hurried to answer the phone.

“H-hey, Birdy! How’d you sleep?” Alphys sounded very sly. You looked at Papyrus.

“I’m guessing _someone_ sent you a photo.” You muttered, voice still husky from sleep.

“A-anyway! We found something interesting last night!” You could tell by her tone that she was amped on three tons of caffeine. You groaned. That meant she had stayed up all night. “We found a full set of these amazing books! It seems to be for some kind of Virtual Reality game called Dungeons and Dragons.”

You sputtered a laugh. “It’s not virtual reality, Alphys, although that would be awesome.”

Her excitement keyed up, and you found yourself telling her about it. She said she was going to put as much of the information into a file as she could and send it to Mettaton to download; she and Undyne were going to pore over the books and ask Toriel if she wanted to join. You mentioned that the game might not be Papyrus-safe, low enough that the skeleton in question wouldn’t hear. “We totally need to get drunk and play DND together soon.” You said.

“Tomorrow. It _has_ to be tomorrow.” Undyne crowed in the background. “I just got off the phone with Toriel! She said she’s open tomorrow!”

“We’ve got this, then.” You said. “And I’ll DM.”

Sans shot you a look. “you can dm?”

“I’d rather play, yes, but I have experience in it.” You said. “Maybe later on, someone else can take over as DM, but I can at least start our first campaign.”

“HUMAN, WOULD YOU GO SHOPPING WITH ME TODAY? I NEED TO PICK UP REPLACEMENT PANS.”

Alphys excused herself and hung up. You looked up at the tall skeleton and smiled. “Sure thing, Paps. Please don’t take pictures of me while I’m sleeping again, though.”

He looked flustered. “I AM NOT SORRY!” After a moment he returned your stare. “But I will refrain from doing so again in the future.”

“Good. Let’s go, then.” You got up and threw on your coat, dragging your boots on and then struggling to stand back up. Sans helped you up, still groggy from lack of sleep. “I bet your spine hurts.” You said sympathetically.

He gave you a quizzical look. “yeah, so?”

“Do the stretch thing like I do.” You told him, and did it yourself, half as an illustration of what you meant. A small chorus of pops made you hum in bliss.

He mirrored you, and a soft scraping noise followed by a sickeningly loud snap made him jolt and let out a strangled cry. Papyrus looked terrified. You caught Sans as he wavered on his feet, losing his balance. “Feel better?”

“what… that was so weird.” His pinpricks of light were hazy, dazed, and he straightened back up on his feet. “i’mma do it again.”

“Might want to wait. Do it too often, and it’ll hurt.”

He nodded.

Papyrus looked at the two of you. “SANS, I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO DIE DON’T EVER DO THAT AGAIN!”

Sans shrugged. “c’mon, paps, shale does it all the time. thought i’d take a **crack** at it.”

“HUMAN, PLEASE DON’T ENCOURAGE THIS BEHAVIOUR OF HIS.”

“Awww, **snap**!” You said, watching Papyrus’s face briefly light up before he tried to hide it with frustration.

“I SUPPOSE I’LL HAVE TO… **POP** YOU ON THE HEAD IF YOU DO IT AGAIN!” He let out an earsplitting peal of victorious laughter and sprinted out the door to the store, you and Sans following.

You and Sans didn’t see Papyrus when you got into the store, so you both looked around a bit. Sans did a double take at something on a shelf and turned. “oh my god, hey shale.”

You turned to see an orange box of flickering lights, and for a moment all was still before you began laughing.

“heh heh. they say they’re for indoor _or_ outdoor use. kinky.”

“Oh, _Christ_.” You couldn’t stop laughing. You weren’t far from snorting, to your horror.

Papyrus appeared behind you both and loudly proclaimed. “WHY ARE YOU BOTH FASCINATED WITH FUCKERING LIGHTS? WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO FUCKER?”

You collapsed on the ground, unable to breathe as you laughed.

Sans was entirely unhelpful. “paps, don’t say fucker.”

He didn’t seem to hear. “THE HUMAN IS BROKEN! IS IT THE FUCKERING LIGHTS?”

In response, you wheezed again, writhing on the floor.

“SANS, TELL ME WHAT IT MEANS TO FUCKER, I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY IT IS BREAKING THE HUMAN!”

“paps, please, people can hear you.” Sans begged.

“Please,” You begged from the floor. “Don’t tell him what it means to fucker.”

Sans turned blue and said, “shopping trip is over.” and grabbed you and Papyrus, taking a shortcut home immediately.

You lay miserably on the floor, still laughing. “Oh, gods, I’m gonna throw up.”

Sans ran through a quick explanation that the box was supposed to say Flickering Lights, and that the other word was not… acceptable to say. Papyrus shot back with full sass that he knew better than that, as he had heard Sans, Undyne, and even _Toriel_ say it at least once before. Sans was too stunned to continue the argument after that, and you continued to laugh from the floor.

Papyrus knelt next to you. “HUMAN, WHAT IS SO FUNNY ABOUT THE WORD FUCKERING?”

You clutched your stomach and tried hard to not laugh any more than necessary. “Mostly, the fact that you’re saying it.” You admitted.

“paps, you were worried about them breaking, and i’m telling you right now if you don’t stop saying that word, they might actually break.” Sans said sternly when Paps was about to speak again.

“I WILL QUIT SAYING IT ON ONE CONDITION!”

“anything, bro, just… quit cursing for fuck’s sake.”

The irony made you chuckle again, and groan at the pain it caused.

“YOU MUST LET ME ACCOMPANY YOU TO THIS WONDERFUL GAME THING TOMORROW! I WANT TO PARTICIPATE IN THIS COOL SURFACE THING, TOO!”

Guilt hit you, and from the expression on Sans’s face, you knew it hit him too. “Paps, I’m sorry if you felt left out. We just didn’t want to… make you uncomfortable.”

“THAT ISN’T ENTIRELY IT, THOUGH, IS IT? I’M NOT STUPID.”

“No, you’re not.” You admitted, sitting up reluctantly.

“I WILL BE THERE, THEN.” There was a mischievous look on his face as he stood. “WE WILL HAVE A _FUCKERING_ GOOD TIME.”

Sans made a despairing noise, and you collapsed on the floor again. The last few minutes caught up to you, and you were filled with HUMILIATION.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, don't hate me too much... but Next Chapter is going to be kind of weird. And by that, I mean vulgar, awkward, and just overall amazingly fun to write. I am going to be taking a lot of inspiration from Out of Context DND Quotes, from tumblr.  
> (I reblogged like, seventy things from them last night in preparation for this following chapter. If you want to, check me out, and them out. I am zaiyo.tumblr.com and they are outofcontextdnd.tumblr.com)
> 
> Anyway, I'd love to hear from you guys!


	16. Shale Returns?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You play D&D with the monsters.  
> Alphys is a genius and made an amazing scientific discovery.  
> Sans does a thing that is shocking.  
> And stuff.
> 
> WARNING: THIS CHAPTER IS EXTREMELY VULGAR! There is also a lot of alcohol references, and another reference to marijuana. And gore. You don't necessarily have to know how to play D&D to read this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The past week has killed me. I have been way too busy with work and life in general to work on this chapter-- and the chapter needed so much stuff... I never thought I would be making D&D miniatures on Hero Forge for Undertale characters. Or writing a D&D chapter for anything.  
> I apologize if this chapter feels a bit... different. Believe it or not, there is actually some good information that is plot related in here somewhere. So, please enjoy and once again, I apologize for taking so long on this chapter. I really feel like I have put more planning and effort into this chapter than the rest of the fic combined at this point-- and I'm not even satisfied with the result. Go figure.

You spent the night on the Skelebros’ couch again, trying to remember all the details of the last campaign you’d been in. The blanks you could fill in as you go—you weren’t confident that you could get the six of them to play nicely enough to follow the story, anyway. You would probably have to make it up as you went. That was fine by you, anyway. Save for Sans, no one else had ever played before, and you wanted to make it as painless as you possibly could.

You could only hope that Mettaton, who had downloaded all of the information, wouldn’t be a pain in the ass to play with, constantly pointing out rules and things—on the bright side, maybe he’d be useful and help everyone make their character sheets. Ah, that reminded you. “Sans?” You asked, and he paused Godhand to look back at you expectantly from the floor in front of the couch. “Are you going to remake your half-orc bard?”

He gave you a winsome grin and you tried not to smile back, feeling your cheeks heat. “actually, i had another idea. i wanna create a human, middle-eastern type chef. kinda like a street food vendor.”

“What?” You chuckled. “What do you have planned here?”

“well, i basically have it all mapped out, character-wise. i want to play him like a guy who follows good, helps people and doesn’t break laws. i just need to roll stat scores and buy things.”

You were silent for a moment. “Sans?”

“as the street food seller i am, my alignment is officially **falafel good**.”

You started laughing and almost fell of the couch. “You can’t be serious!”

“yeah, no. i’d rather be uthgrob, my bard.” He admitted. He began regaling you on the many exploits of his bard, and you listened attentively. At last, he quit talking, leaned back against the couch and sighed. “y’know, shale, i always heard the other guys talking about how they dreamed of going out somewhere and impressing someone with the line ‘hey, lemme tell you about my level nineteen paladin’ but never really thought it would be that big a deal. i think i understand now.”

You laughed. “So are you going to do me a huge favor and help me get Papyrus ready for the campaign? You know, making the character and all?”

He shrugged. “you sure he will be okay there?”

“Look, he said he wanted to participate. We’ll keep an open door policy.”

“christ, i’m gonna have to think of puns to discourage all the shit he’s gonna start saying. how the actual fuck am i going to make a pun about fuckering?”

You blushed. “None that will help, that I can think of.” He gave you a startled look and then turned his attention back to the game. “I’m actually surprised you can’t think of any. You seem to always have a few on **hand**.” You settled your hand on his skull. “Y’know, just off the top of your **head**.”

He laughed and paused the game again. You weren’t sure what was about to happen, but suddenly your hand was trapped in his grip. “heh, guess i gotta dis **arm** you.” He snickered and tugged. You yelped and almost rolled off the couch. He turned around, relinquishing your hand and then grabbed for your legs. This was bad. “c’mon shale, admit de **feet**.” He chuckled and began tickling your bare feet. You squeaked and thrashed.

At a loss for a way to escape, you reached for him and tried to tug him away from your legs, but he was as solid and immovable as ever. Instead, you reached under his t-shirt, making him let out a startled yell as you grabbed at his bones, doing your best to tickle him back.

Well, it certainly made him let go of your feet and fall back out of your reach.

“Looks like I win?” You panted, a huge grin on your face. His expression made your smile falter. “Hey, did I hurt you? Oh, hell did I do something wrong?”

He shook himself and pulled his shirt back down. “just… uh wasn’t expecting that. that was…”

“Sorry!” You covered your face with a pillow and hid away, pulling your feet in toward yourself in case he wanted revenge.

“heh, no problem, shale.” You glanced around the pillow to see his expression, and saw a heavy shade of blue marring his face. “just warn me next time, huh?”

You hitched an eyebrow at him. “Oh? Like you warned me?”

The blush increased to your amusement. Before you could taunt him further or apologize further, your phone began to buzz. Sans went back to the game, if only to finish the level so he could put it aside for the day, and you answered the call.

“Darling~ when are you three going to get here? I’ve already got Undyne and Alphys set up, and I’m working on explaining things to Toriel and walking her through the character sheet. I’m really excited about this, so… Please, my dear Phantom, if you could get over here, we can discuss lore and…” He took an unneeded breath. “I admittedly know more about this lovely Eberron place than I do of the Underground.”

You laughed. “Just… keep everyone busy, and remember that as a DM, I am an all-powerful god, for I will be sitting in the god chair. However, I am a benevolent god, who can be bribed with alcohol and food.”

Sans chuckled and got up to go find Papyrus.

Mettaton sounded flustered. “I’ll relay the warning to the others. I eagerly await your guidance, o godly storyteller!”

You creased your brow. “Mettaton, what?” But he had already hung up. You stared at the phone for a while. Was he getting into character or something? That was just not like him.

You tasked Sans with helping Papyrus get ready for the day while you cleaned up at your house. You were tempted to wear the binder, but knew you were going to be laughing harder than you ever had in your life, if past experience told you anything. You settled on a t-shirt, jeans, and tennis shoes. Sans finally texted you that Papyrus was at the lab with the others, and he was ready when you needed him.

You commented that some booze would be in order. Grillby looked vexed when you asked him for the brew from the other day. You promised you’d come by and perform sometime in return, and he reluctantly let you have the batch he’d just perfected the night before. You also came away with a good deal of full-magic drinks of variant strengths.

When you arrive in the lab, you’re pleasantly surprised by how nicely Mettaton had handled everything. He was still acting oddly, though, until he took Sans’s character sheet and groaned. “ _I_ wanted to be the bard!” He whined.

“Chill out, Mettaton, you can still be a bard.” You assured him.

He scoffed. “Nonsense! I shall just have to be a human assassin who poses as a bard.”

“Fitting.” Undyne snorted.

“Alright, everyone. Tell me about your characters before we get started. I want to know what I’m getting into, here.” You sat down in the newly dubbed Godchair.

Alphys stumbled over to you and handed you her paper. You glanced over it. “You’re a [shifter](https://heroforge.com/load_config=689032) ranger. A cat girl. I should have known.” You gave her a reassuring smile and observed the rest of her stats. Her character name was MewMew. You giggled.

Undyne was thrusting her paper into your face, and you calmly observed it. [Warforged](https://heroforge.com/load_config=692039) Paladin, uses spears. “This sounds awful familiar.” You told her. She just laughed and told you that it was easy to stay in character if she was the character, mostly. That way she wouldn’t slip out of character when she got plastered. You couldn’t help but commend her foresight as you grabbed one of the bottles of Grillby’s specialty brew for yourself.

Toriel was next, telling you about her [tiefling](https://heroforge.com/load_config=689054) wizard while sipping from a wine glass—and then you noticed that Toriel had brought her own booze. When asked, she gave a somehow elegant shrug and said, “Nothing wrong with a casual drink every now and then.”

Mettaton had printed off his new character sheet while you were talking to everyone, and now handed it to you with a flourish. True to his word, he would be playing a [human](https://heroforge.com/load_config=689065) assassin, specializing in whips and daggers. In personality traits, you were worried to note that he’d written that he wanted to start a collection of body parts and store them in a bag of holding. Mostly penises, fingers, and tongues. “Jesus tap-dancing Christ, Mettaton.” You said, blinking in disbelief at the offending words.

“Don’t tell anyone. I want it to be a surprise.”

“Ugh.” You handed his paper back to him and grabbed for Sans’s, finding Papyrus’s under it. [Sans’s](https://heroforge.com/load_config=692027) was just as you’d expected. With a startled laugh, you realized that in lieu of a helmet, he wore a pot on his head. Wait—was that a pun? You got an idea at that point, and reminded yourself not to give him a chance to seduce any doors. Between him and Mettaton, you were sure no npc or inanimate object would be safe.

That was the point where you looked at [Papyrus’s](https://heroforge.com/load_config=692410) paper. “Uhhh…” You were fine with the stats, but the race and powers… “Papyrus, this is literally you, isn’t it?” There was even a note to have a quiver for arrows—but filled with raw pasta instead. Sweet Christ, this was a disaster already.

“NYEHEHEH! THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS THE PERFECT CHARACTER IN AND OUT OF THE GAME! I WILL GAIN YOUR GODLY FAVOR!”

You groaned and looked pointedly at Mettaton, who smirked at you. “What did you do to him?”

He just winked at you. “You’re the one who called yourself a god, darling.”

So that was how you ended up with a seven-foot skeleton fighter armed with a bow staff and a sassy attitude in your campaign. “This has got to be the most amazing party roster ever.” You commented to Sans. “I’m pretty sure no one else can brag of this kind of hell to come.”

He nodded, but his eye-lights kept darting to Papyrus worriedly. “yeah, you’re right.”

“It’ll be fine, Sans. Nothing we can do now. He’s an adult, right? He can make his own choices.”

With a heavy sigh, the skeleton relaxed into the chair next to you. “you’re right. don’t want you to be right, but you are. always are.”

“I don’t know about that, but it’s good to hear in any case.” You giggled and turned to everyone. “Alright, let’s get going.”

Alphys threw her hands up. “Wait, Birdy! I need to show you something.”

You sighed jokingly. “Why wait until now?”

She fidgeted for a moment but then ran off to find whatever it was she wanted to show you. She returned holding an orb about a foot in diameter, opaque and black, in one hand. The other held a small stand in the shape of crossed branches. She set them up in front of your chair and then rushed off again, coming back with seven eye-patches that you could guess were borrowed from Undyne. She passed them to you and you stared at her in befuddlement. “Uhh, Alphys, what are these for?”

“Oh! Well, umm you remember how you said that this wasn’t virtual reality but it would be really cool?” She was a breath away from speaking entire sentences in one long jumbled word. Her excitement was palpable, and it quickly spread to you.

“Yeah, I remember that. What about it?”

“Well I found the orb and stuff at the dump, and Undyne and I tried to figure out what it was used for—and it holds magic really well! Y-you can use magic to make things appear in it!”

You looked at it, and the idea came to your head. “Ah, that’s awesome! Will it work for me?”

“P-probably.” She responded proudly.

“So, the eyepatches?” You reminded.

Undyne spoke now. “I have a fuckton of them.” Her exposed eye shot to Papyrus warily, to no reaction.

Alphys giggled. “Yeah, so I took some and put chips in them. That way, whatever appears in the crystal will appear in the eyepatch, dictated directly by you. So everyone can look at what’s happening, while also looking to you or the others for direction!” She was so confident in it, so excited. Also, she seemed slightly sauced already—perhaps that was why she didn’t stammer even a bit.

“Holy shit, Al. You just made this game impossibly cooler. Will it work? Have you tested it?”

Mettaton flagged you with his hand. “It worked last night. I tried my hand at it, and we had no issues. It was a bit disorienting at first, but it certainly will give you a power trip.”

Undyne snorted at the robot. “Yeah, like you needed a power trip. You _are_ a physical power trip.”

No one denied this. Everyone took their seats. You leaned over to Mettaton and asked him a few related questions, mainly if you were to shoot him some specs through the eyepatch, could he print out a secret sheet on the down low? Eventually, extra sheet in hand, you told everyone to settle in with booze and snacks, as the express journey to hell had begun.

You handed everyone an eyepatch. Undyne took her usual one off to replace it with the chip-installed one. You asked everyone to focus their magic into the chip, so you could get a sense for everyone, and told them to picture their characters. You put your eyepatch on, testing with one eye and then the other. You focused your magic into the chip, yourself, and suddenly a wealth of colors flooded your view. You touched the orb in front of you, focusing magic into it in a way that had become all too familiar. You let out a quiet hum as you channeled your energy. You made the world around you, observing everyone as they looked about.

Toriel was the first to comment, chuckling and pointing at Undyne. “Why does a robot have a Mohawk and eyepatch?”

Mettaton cleared his throat. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but leave Undyne alone. There’s nothing wrong with having the body you want.”

Undyne looked at Sans and began laughing hysterically. Everyone else looked as well and found him humorous to at least a small degree. He was rather short for a half-orc, but his hair was long and luxurious, eyebrows needlessly bushy and pointed. He carried a stringed instrument that you didn’t recognize.

“Sans, what is that?” You asked.

Toriel answered, “It’s called a Pherem. It’s an old traditional instrument. I haven’t seen one in ages…”

Sans looked deep in thought for a moment before pulling the instrument to him and plucking experimentally at its strings. It protested, and you giggled. “heh, i guess it’s better as a weapon in my hands.” He looked at his hands, then. Really looked at them. “this is awkward.” He looked at you, as if to ask how you could stand it.

You sighed and said, “Alright, guys. This is your first time, so I’ll go easy on you. First off, I believe more in storytelling than encounters, so there will _always_ be a way to get out of a fight without killing anyone. Got it? Which means none of you will die if you aren’t assholes.”

Mettaton and Toriel exchanged a glance and giggled. That wasn’t a good sign. Since when did they become friends?

“Anyway, we’re going to start out by heading down this path. You are all with a hunter’s guild, and you were sent to a nearby town.”

Alphys raised her hand tentatively. “What are we hunting?”

You froze for a moment. “Non-sentient creatures that kill sentient creatures, and evil sentient creatures that kill not-evil sentient creatures.” You thought hard, hoping you could avoid a faux pas. “You guys met through the guild, but mostly you’re just adventurers.” That had been a close call. You had almost said Monster Hunter’s Guild. Good thing you weren’t drunk yet.

 _Yet_ , you reminded yourself, and took a hearty swig of the brew. Sans shifted a plate of cookies closer to you with a grin and you eagerly took one. This was going to be a good night, as long as you could avoid referring to enemy non-sentients as monsters.

At the exact moment that you thought that, Alphys lifted the Monster Manual and handed it to you sheepishly. You realized at that moment how lucky you were that everyone in the room was chill with their identity. You didn’t even have to explain. “It’s okay to say the word, Birdy.” Undyne muttered, maintaining merciless eye-contact. “We’re not going to hate you for calling the enemies monsters.” Her grin widened. “I’m pretty sure we’ll kill more humans than monsters, anyway.”

She was probably right, that was the sad thing.

“The path ahead, guys. Let’s go.”

Papyrus looked at you. “HUMAN, WHERE IS YOUR CHARACTER?”

You smiled at him. “I’m the Dungeon Master, Paps. I don’t have a character. I’m the storyteller.”

He nodded thoughtfully. “IT IS RATHER DISORIENTING TO NOT SEE SOMETHING THERE TO ASSOCIATE THE VOICE TO, THOUGH.”

You could understand. “Hopefully, you can get used to it for now. I’m kinda winging it, guys. This whole… virtual D&D thing is… different. So, I apologize ahead of time if things get out of hand.”

Everyone nodded, and for a while everything went fine. You got everyone settled into their roles, and the drinks certainly helped everyone relax in the tension of trying something so new and foreign. You shaped the town and npcs, and tried to keep up with everyone’s whereabouts. You advised them to stick together if they could help it, and they understood and humored you.

As an experiment, you made a salesman wander the streets of the town, crying his wares. “Soap! Get your soap with a prize inside!”

Sans looked at the guy questioningly. “wait, he’s selling soap with prizes inside?”

“Yeah.” You answered. “Like coins, little toys, stuff like that.”

“why doesn’t he call them **soaprizes**?”

There was a heavy silence, and you could feel Papyrus considering pushing his brother out of his chair. Undyne was the first to speak. “Can I buy a soaprize?”

“You’re a goddammned robot. You don’t _need_ soap.” You reminded her, trying not to laugh.

You managed to get to the part of town with your contact, the person who had sent the request to the guild. It was a man in his late thirties, two children tugging at his blacksmith’s apron.

Of course, Undyne wanted to ask for upgraded weaponry, and you had to remind her he might oblige after the task was completed—perhaps even at discount price.

You almost didn’t catch Sans’s comment. When you did, you stared at him incredulously. “Did you really just try to buy one of his children?”

“as a joke! orc humor.” You facepalmed and hurried to explain the mission ahead, through the npc. Sans continued as he was, disregarding you. “i add the human to my inventory. they are my friend and companion now. i leave six gp.”

Everyone watched eagerly for your reaction, and you made the npc turn around and look. “Uhh…” He said. “I dunno what happened but half of my kids are gone.”

Sans spoke to his inventory. “i shall name you ‘one-heart’ after all the hearts you have.”

Toriel removed the child and handed them back to the npc. “Keep the change.” She said wearily.

The mission carried them out of town, to a small encampment of human bandits. Rather than listen to your previous warning that deaths could be avoided, they unanimously decided to surprise attack them. As Undyne callously killed the last one, she remarked. “It’s like that movie. Life is like a box of chocolates and sometimes you get stabbed in the face.”

Toriel chuckled but whispered to you, “Remind me to never accept chocolates from Undyne.”

Undyne and Papyrus got into a competition on who could carry the most dead bodies, for a reason you couldn’t begin to fathom. “How did we come to this?” You asked yourself, but only Sans heard. He laughed and gave you a reassuring grin. They had arrived at the town again, and you made an announcement. “The guards are barring you access to the town. They are also warily preparing for a potential attack. Someone roll diplomacy or everyone rolls initiative.” You could prove a point, this way, you thought.

Toriel gave you a confused look. “Why are they upset with us?”

“You’re carrying dead bodies.” You reminded her.

“I FORGOT ABOUT THOSE!” Papyrus admitted.

“Shall we dig a corpse hole for the bodies?” Toriel asked.

It took you a moment to understand her. “Corpse hole?.... You mean a grave?”

Sans buried his head in his arms on the table and shook with laughter, presumably at your expression.

“You know what, fine. But someone needs to smooth things over with the guards.”

Mettaton and Sans rolled, their gazes locking with malice and competition. Mettaton rolled higher. “I seduce them.” He said smugly.

“Sans, roll for sass.” You said. “Be a good wing-man.”

Once in the town yet again, they made the mistake of separating. At first, you couldn’t keep up with so many things happening at once, but then you realized a way to bring attention to the need to stay together. “Mettaton. Roll evade.” Everyone looked at you quizzically as the robot rolled. He failed, and suddenly some bandits grabbed at him and plunged a knife in his direction. He moved in such a way that the knife didn’t hit anything important. You narrated. “You’ve been abducted by bandits who saw what you guys did to their buddies. You have been stabbed. How would you like to respond?”

“Wow. I’m a backstabber by profession. I’m impressed you beat me to the punch.”

“Are you trying to seduce them?”

“Did it work?”

“No. They stab you with renewed gusto.”

“Shit, well… I’m going to die next turn.”

“Probably.”

“Since I’m dying, can I fly into a rage, or something?”

“Roll for it, sure. I'll allow it.”

He rolled a critical success. You whistled. “Alright, you go to hit the guy nearest you, but your nipple ring catches on his nose and you rip his head off. It’s still attached to you. This adds to your Armor Class.”

“HOLY SHIT!” Undyne crowed.

Mettaton moved for the next bandit, who tried to get away from a well-placed kick. Mettaton rolled high, the bandit rolled low. “Yep, this guy’s dying now. You kicked him in the dick so hard he’s dying.”

“I interrogate the bandit!” He failed.

“The bandit’s last words were ‘Nah.’”

“I loot the bodies and return to the party.”

“Are you… going to remove the severed head from your nipple?” You prompted, trying to keep a straight face.

“Actually, I kind of like it. Can I buy a bag of holding?”

“Why?” Toriel asked.

“I want to store body parts in it.”

Collective silence. Papyrus cocked his head at Mettaton curiously. “WHAT IS A BAG OF HOLDING?”

“It is a bag that can hold nearly anything.” He replied vaguely.

“HOW MUCH OF ANYTHING?”

Collective silence. Mettaton looked stumped, and _he_ knew all the rules. You shrugged. “I guess it depends on what you want to store in it, Paps.”

“HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI CAN A BAG OF HOLDING HOLD?”

Of course. You face-palmed. “I have no idea. I’ll get back to you on that when I figure it out.”

He looked happy with that response, and you all continued. The blacksmith rewarded the party with a decent chunk of gold as well as direction to find more work. There was a captain of a small vessel who needed a crew of explorers for an uncharted island he’d found. The pay would be amazing and they were welcome to any loot they find on the island. They all took the chance without asking more questions. They were a day into the voyage when you told them they were headed straight toward a massive whirlpool.

“can’t we just go around it?” Sans asked lazily.

The captain growled. “It’s too late to do that! What do we do?!”

You knew this wouldn’t be avoidable. They would get sucked into the whirlpool and appear in the Underwater Palace of the Dragon King. _Plot! Mwuahahahah!_ You thought to yourself, happily munching probably the tenth of those heavenly cookies

“i want to pray to ditty.”

Wait, what? “Who is Ditty?” You asked.

“some guy i met in the town. he seemed really nice.”

You facepalmed again. You were concerned you were going to accidentally break your nose tonight from the sheer amount of facepalming. “You know what, sure. Roll Religion.”

He rolled a critical success, and you blanched. “Goddammit.” You muttered before narrating. “You pray really hard and hear a voice.”

You focused a voice to come from everywhere. A normal, everyday kind of guy. “What the hell is going on?”

Sans rolled with it. “ditty, we need your help. get rid of this whirlpool!”

“Holy shit, what is this?” Ditty sputtered.

Papyrus chimed in. “CAN I PRAY TO DITTY, TOO?”

“ditty, awaken your inner power!” Sans encouraged.

“Ditty feels the power flowing through him.” You narrated, as Ditty in the background screamed “WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?!”

“HELLO, DITTY!” Papyrus called belatedly.

“The whirlpool dies down and the water calms. Also, you just created a god. Congratulations.” You sighed. “I guess you won’t get to meet the denizens of the Dragon Palace, now.” You muttered under your breath, but decided there were other things you could make happen.

One boat ride back to the mainland later, and Sans realized you were lost in thought. He got the others’ attention. “shale is thinking of something horrible to do to us.”

You began laughing maniacally as an idea came to you.

“shale has thought of something horrible to do to us.” He amended.

You introduced them to an ominous ruin, and when they got inside, they were locked in. Hesitantly, they proceeded into the next room, which had runes over two doors. Sans did an Investigation action and succeeds—so you explain to him, in vivid detail, what the runes are, what they mean, what they do. Eyes blank, he points at you. “copy…” and then pointed at the rest of the party. “and paste.”

Mettaton let out an aggravated noise. “You’re lucky I understood all of that.” He pointed at the first door, telling everyone that it was the trap, and said the other door led to treasure.

The next room was totally blank except for doors. Sans insisted on searching the absolutely empty room, but failed the roll anyway. “You find nothing but a totally. Blank. Room.”

“You know, fuck it, I’mma search too!” Undyne yelled before rolling a critical success.

You were getting fed up at this point. “Fine. Fine! Okay, you manage to find a panel in the floor that you move and find a chest that you open…”

The silence made Undyne even antsier. Drunk and antsy were not a good combination for Undyne. “YES?!”

“You open the chest to find a glorious amount of sweet jack-shit.”

Sans chuckled. Papyrus looked like he wanted to ask questions. Undyne drew a spear and pointed it at you. “Try again, Birdy.” She said, dead serious.

“Gah, fine. You find a shit-ton of gp, a giant phallic baseball bat, a naginata, a spell book, and a bag.”

Toriel gets to work identifying all of the items, and the only one she failed to identify, to your joy, was the bag.

“Do you want to open the bag?” You taunted, a crooked and inebriated smile on your face.

Toriel began to state that it was obviously not a good idea, when Undyne ripped the bag from her hands and screamed “Fuck bitches, get money! Let’s open it!”

“Make a Dexterity Roll.” You said right as she opened it.

“Dammit—oh, fuck yeah!” She said, rolling high. Undyne managed to jump back out of the way as an enormous wave of overcooked pasta and body parts came shooting out of the bag and just kept pouring. It was as if the body parts were meat sauce to the absolutely immense amount of soggy noodles.

“You can’t be exact, but you can guess it’s around 300 pounds of spaghetti and human sauce in the room now.”

Papyrus’s sockets focused on you blankly. Briefly, you felt bad. “WELL, THAT ANSWERS MY QUESTION.” He muttered. You smiled, and tried not to giggle.

Toriel rolled. “I’m thoroughly disgusted but I didn’t throw up.” She said.

“Good point, Toriel. Everyone make a roll to not barf!”

Everyone but Undyne succeeded, and you made note that she puked for about six minutes. Papyrus wandered around the absolutely disgusting room, marveling at the sea of noodles around him. “I HAVE NEVER SEEN SO MUCH PASTA BEFORE!” And before anyone could reply or even think to, he flopped down in it and sighed contentedly.

“christ, bro. didn’t think you liked the spaghetti… like that.” he sounded sickened, and you decided to make it worse.

“Just because you decided to essentially fuck the pasta, roll for diseases.”

Undyne quit vomiting long enough to inquire. “Can I Detect Evil to see whether his kink is shameable?”

The cookies were gone, as was about half of the alcohol, by the time the party managed to get back to town. In game, it was about dusk, and everyone began to notice the sky, the painted appearance, and the glittering stars coming into focus toward the darker bit of the evening. You poured your attention into the sky, trying to remember it, and you all drank in the silence, the beauty of the sky.

Papyrus was quiet. “Is that the moon?” He was pointing.

“Yes.” You said. “As I remember it. It doesn’t always look like that. I’ll explain another time, okay?”

He sighed and stared up at it. You looked at everyone, watching their faces as they looked at your memories of the sky in wonderment, but when you noticed Sans, you quickly looked away. He was looking at you, pinpricks dulled. He grabbed his bottle and took a punishing chug from it, setting the empty glass down with a heavy noise.

You wanted to ask if he was okay, but everyone would hear, and you didn’t want to draw attention to him. While everyone else was enraptured by the sky, you reached out and brushed against his hand with yours. His eyes lit up and he looked at you. You gave him a reassuring smile, and he sighed and gave one back.

Alphys spoke up, and you brought your attention back to the world you’d created. “W-what is that?”

Huh. “That’s a tornado. It’s basically a funnel of wind that happens when cold air and hot air rub against each other wrong. The air switches places and makes a destructive force that can level entire cities.” You hoped you were right. You weren’t exactly a meteorologist, after all. No one asked further questions—until…

“What if I shoot fire at it?” Toriel asked, after draining the last of her wine straight from the bottle.

“Then it would be a fire tornado.”

She gave you a crazed grin. Everyone observed her as she giggled madly. “I’m gonna shoot fire at it.”

That she did—and the tornado ended up heading toward the town. The only building in town strong enough to handle this was an inn made of iron and stone, built halfway into the ground. It had been what you wanted them to head to anyway, so you didn’t bother berating them as they practically flew inside and huddled until the storm had passed.

“HUMAN THAT WAS QUITE FRIGHTENING, PLEASE DON’T MAKE ANOTHER OF THOSE.” Papyrus said.

“Hadn’t really been my intention.” You said honestly. “I don’t know where it came from.”

Mettaton looked at you slyly, and you realized you were still touching Sans’s hand. No one said anything, and you didn’t move your hand. You didn’t care what any of them thought. If Sans needed reassurance, you were going to give it.

Also you were kind of buzzed.

Undyne looked around. “Anyone smell fire?”

“Oh shit.” You said, seeing what was happening better than they did. “The inn is on fire, and the thing you were after is in here.”

“What were we after?” Toriel asked.

“Oh, there was a troll or something. I can’t really remember. But there was treasure involved.” You assured. “Flammable treasure.” You added.

Toriel looked crestfallen. “That was a bad idea on my part.” Everyone nodded, but Undyne laughed and told Toriel she’d personally done worse.

“Well, since you guys aren’t moving… there’s really no way you’re getting out of this without being on fire at some point. All of you.”

Papyrus was the first to take action. He darted into the doorway, yelling, “NEXT ROOM, NEXT ROOM!”

Alphys pointed in his direction. “I follow the skeleton.” She said.

Everyone chimed in. “FOLLOW THE SKELETON!”

You narrated. “The second room is unremarkable except that it is on fire.”

Sans groaned. “where is the stuff we came here for?”

“Let’s hope you can find that out before you all die in a fire.” You said calmly.

Undyne chuckled nervously but looked at ease. “God, this brings back memories.”

Papyrus tackled Mettaton, pulling at the Bag of Holding. “IF WE OPEN THE MAGICAL SPAGHETTI BAG, WILL THE SEA OF NOODLES AND SAUCE WHETT THE FLAMES?”

The rest of the party grappled Papyrus. “STOP THE SKELETON!” They all cried in disarray.

Toriel looked at you desperately. “I scry for spoilers.”

You sighed. “Right now isn’t really the time for that, is it?”

“I SCRY FOR SPOILERS!” She repeated.

You laughed. “A lot more things are on fire now. Also, the room to your left has a very upset troll. That’s all you’re getting from me.”

She wasted no time. “Everyone, go to the next room before we all die!”

“There’s still time for dying in the next room. With the very pissed off and burned troll. Roll initiative!”

Sans pulled out the instrument and gave you a playful look. At least he wasn’t trying to seduce it—wait. “yep. i’mma do it.”

You let out a very undignified noise. “You realize time is really of the essence here, right? Roll.”

To your utter dismay, he rolled a critical success. “wow.” He said, winking at you. “my mixtape will literally be fire now.”

You were the only person who understood the meme, but due to your reaction, Papyrus realized it was a pun of some sort. His character shoved Sans’s character into a pyre, and everyone began fighting the troll. After it was dead, Sans was still struggling to not die from burns while everyone else looted the room. Mettaton approached the troll corpse.

“How did he even get in here?”

“I don’t know. Maybe the innkeeper had him as a pet. Or a husband. I don’t even know.” You admitted, head in your hands, still chuckling.

“You are _so_ drunk.” Undyne barked.

“No I’m not, you’re just blurry.” You argued.

Mettaton chuckled. “I loot the troll corpse.”

“Mettaton, he’s naked and has nothing visible on his body.” You told him, as if he couldn’t just see it.

Undyne pushed Mettaton’s character out of the way. “ _Fuck_ that, I’ll roll to find something!” And again, as per your luck, she rolled a critical success.

“Goddammit, Undyne. Didn’t you learn your lesson earlier? You shove your hand up the troll’s ass and feel something. You grip it and rip it out. It’s an upgraded greatsword of fire.” Undyne stared at you in disgust and shock. Everyone else pointedly looked away from the “treasure” in Undyne’s hand. “Look, you’re either going to accept that you just pulled a flaming greatsword out of its ass, or you’re getting nothing but the troll shit on your arm!”

Undyne stared at her arm and let out a despairing wail. “Oh, no, there’s shit on my robot muscles! Wish I had a soaprize.”

Sans wheezed with laughter. “i’m about to die. can we focus on that after i not die?”

Undyne gave him a look. “All in favor of leaving him here say ‘aye’.”

Sans grabbed at Toriel’s sleeve. “tori, when i die, make me into a penguin.” It was quiet as everyone awaited the punchline. “what? i like penguins. it wasn’t a pun.”

Despite the others’ objections, Papyrus carried Sans out of the burning building. Everyone survived, somehow.

“Okay, guys. Let’s wrap this up with a bang.” You said. “A group of drow ambush you while you’re asleep and are taking you to some strange mountainous lair. From within, you can feel heat and rage.

Undyne chuckled. “I see it!” Then she gave you a scathing look. “It’s a green dragon.”

Sans jolted and looked around as his character, and then at you, pinpricks hard, smile wide and evil. When he caught sight of the dragon, he gave you another look.

Undyne brayed laughter. “It looks like your [Shale](https://heroforge.com/load_config=692439) costume. But with dragon titties.”

You slammed your face into the desk. “The dragon can change shape from a huge monolith of an enemy into a dragonborn dragoon. You guys are gonna die.”

“Wait, where did the drow go?” Alphys asked.

“They are running away. They are smart.” You said shortly.

Undyne chuckled behind her fist. “They’re terrified by the dragon titties.”

Mettaton purred at you. “I missed my chance on Dancing Day, so I _so_ want in on this. I roll to seduce the dragon.”

You were about to protest when Sans threw his dice at Mettaton’s face. They hit and bounced off with little _clink_ ing noises. “ **n o , _i_    s e d u c e  t h e  d r a g o n .**”

Alphys made a noise that was almost too high-pitched for human ears to hear. “My fanfic is writing itself!” She managed to say.

Sans gave you a look. “where’s the door, shale?”

“What?” You remembered. “Oh, there is no door. Just this giant green elder dragon that is _definitely_ not me.” You pointedly glared at Alphys.

“LIES!” She screamed in indignation.

Sans rolled a critical success. “i sing a song to the dragon to seduce it.”

“Sans, I don’t care _how_ many successes you roll, you’re not going to impress the dragon.”

“wanna bet?”

“Try me.” You dared. Everyone waited as Sans looked around, suddenly nervous. He shrugged and his character began plucking at the strings on the Pherem. Contrary to earlier attempts to play it, you noticed he was actually trying now, and didn’t sound that badly. The [tune ](https://youtu.be/pHB_C0jc_CI)was familiar. Too familiar. “Sans, no.” He grinned, understanding your reaction, and began singing, lower than the song required—but that didn’t bother you. What was this?

It hit you like a brick in the face. You were being serenaded.

And it was beautiful.

“walk away if you want to. it’s okay if you need to. you can run, but you can never hide from the shadow that’s creeping up beside you. there’s a magic running through your soul, but you can’t have it all.”

You hated yourself, but you sang along. “Whatever you do.”

Pleased, he continued. “i’ll be two steps behind you.”

“Wherever you go.” You supplied.

“and i’ll be there to remind you.”

Together you sang, you harmonizing with him perfectly. “That it only takes a minute of your precious time…”

He quit strumming and his grin widened. “to turn around, and i’ll be two steps behind.”

The ensuing silence was broken all too soon. “EEEEeeeeeee” Alphys was waving frantically. Undyne was leaning over the table, palms planted on the top. Toriel was blushing and smiling. Mettaton fanned himself, and Papyrus averted his eyes. The moment was gone, but you were sure your blush was permanent.

Undyne finally found her voice. “I’ve never seen someone roll a critical success in real life.”

Mettaton looked between you and Sans incredulously. “I didn’t know he could sing.” To be fair, you hadn't really known, either. He had hummed before, but... that had been different, hadn't it?

Toriel giggled quietly and added. “I think it worked, though.”

You pushed your chair back and concentrated on not toppling over onto the ground. How drunk were you? Yes. The magic you’d been focusing into the eyepatches and the orb dissipated and you took your eyepatch off. “Game over, man. Game over. Good night, everyone.” You muttered and headed down into the infirmary with the intent to pass out in the nearest bed.

 

* * *

 

Sans stared at everyone after you left, and they all stared back. “guys, don’t make this weird.”

Alphys’s eyes were huge. “Where did you even learn that? What was that?”

“some old garbage i found a while back. one of the songs shale sang to the amalgamates once or twice was on the same disk, so i figured they might like that song.”

“Oh, my god.” Mettaton breathed. “Did you see how red their face was?!”

“You don’t think they’re embarrassed, do you?” Toriel asked softly.

“NO, I HAVE NEVER SEEN THE HUMAN’S SOUL SHINE LIKE THAT BEFORE.” Papyrus commented.

Everyone exchanged glances.

“bro, can you see human souls without them being exposed?”

He didn’t answer. Sans began thinking of reasons. Was there some part of Papyrus that was human, too? Perhaps because—his head was spinning, and only partially from drink.

“Sans, you want to crash here for tonight?” Undyne waggled her eyebrows.

Papyrus looked at his brother then, and Sans saw something in him. “paps, are you okay?”

The taller skeleton nodded reluctantly, and they both got up, taking off the eyepatches and setting them gingerly on the table. Papyrus didn’t seem too drunk, thankfully. Sans wondered if he were upset at the vulgarity, or if somehow he felt he had been left out.

They got home without incident, and Papyrus went to go straight to bed, saying he didn’t need a story tonight, as he’d just been thoroughly entertained with a long story not too long ago, so he’d be fine. Sans wasn’t convinced. “bro, what’s wrong? you can tell me.”

Papyrus looked like he wanted to argue that point, but softened when he saw the concern on Sans’s face. “I’m just tired, brother.”

“did the cursing upset you? the puns?”

Papyrus shook his head. “It is nothing I haven’t heard already from the website.”

There was a long silence. “website?”

“You used my computer to try to access something, and left the page up when you were done. I couldn’t access it, so I solved the puzzle and it let me in.”

“puzzle?” Sans stared disbelievingly at his brother. “you hacked the website.” It wasn’t a question.

“I solved the puzzle.” He repeated. “And I read the website… and ever since then, I’ve felt strange.”

Sans finally managed to wrap his head around it. His brother was better at hacking than he was. He could live with that. But _what was on that website_ that made him feel like he was feeling? “do you mind if i read it?”

Papyrus made a noncommittal noise. “Maybe tomorrow. I am very tired.”

“okay, okay. hey.” He got his attention and offered him a smile. “i know you feel like i don’t trust you enough to talk… but that’s not what it is, okay? i don’t want you to worry about me.”

“I worry more when you say nothing.” Papyrus sounded aggravated, and Sans realized that Papyrus was just drunk enough to not care. It wasn’t that he was a miserly drunk, he just had something troublesome on his mind and didn’t care enough to produce all of that enthusiasm to combat it. He was tired in many more ways than one.

“i… think i understand that now. just… you’ll tell me if something’s wrong, right? you’ll tell me if you’re hurt?”

Papyrus smiled weakly. “I suppose I can.” Papyrus headed upstairs, much less somber than before. Sans sat in front of the couch and grabbed the controller to the game.

He turned to look at the couch and heaved a sigh, leaning back against it. He realized there was no real reason for him to stay in the living room tonight, and he put the controller back. Giving the couch another glance, he took a shortcut directly into his room, flopping down on his bed with an exaggerated sigh.

He remembered, now. Sometimes, you hummed in your sleep. Tiny little noises, like a whimper, only happy and lyrical. The noises were few, and he was almost convinced he’d imagined them. Every additional time he heard those little noises, he would scoot closer to the couch and smile a little wider. It made him happy to hear you at peace like that.

He clutched his fingers tightly together, the soft scraping noise bringing him back to the present. He still felt the stress and tension in his stomach, residual from singing to you in front of everyone. Sure, he had known the song before he met you, but… he’d only thought of trying to sing it to you after you’d sung for him.

He buried his face in the mattress to hide his blush. Had you felt this embarrassed, this naked, when you sang for him? But it had been worth it. Papyrus had been right; your soul had never shone that brightly before. The moment he’d started singing, he’d seen it register in your drunken mind, and then… when you’d started singing in turn… it had surprised him and then warmed him in a way he’d never known.

Despite all that had happened in the past few days, he wasn’t entirely sure where you stood on the issue. He felt that right now wasn’t a good time to bring it up—not just that but the idea of succeeding in the endeavor scared the hell out of him as much as the idea of failure. On the failing end, he would probably lose you as a friend from the awkwardness. On the winning end, history would repeat itself, and he’d be **boned**.

When he put it like that, there was no winning. He fell asleep filled with FRUSTRATION.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I just wanted to throw this out there, there is a secondary fic to support this one called Plot Holes and Palm Holes. Also, I did some edits on the previous chapters. Nothing big, but I added in links and did some much-needed cleanup. Can't say that it's perfect now, but I'm not freaking out over it anymore.  
> Also, the links in this fic, I hope you guys enjoyed those. It took me longer than I'd like to admit to make those. I apologize if they don't work for everyone, as I think it requires flash player or something. If that is the case, I'll link you pictures if you want!
> 
> Thank you all! Have a lovely day!


	17. More Cowbell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR:  
> Sickness, abuse, intense vomitting, etc.
> 
> THINGS HAPPEN... and stuff.
> 
> Also, a metaphoric cookie for anyone who gets the title reference!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT NOTICE: I got sleep for once ^.^  
> Okay, for real, though. I made a tumblr for this fic.  
> www.zaiyofics.tumblr.com  
> Come bug me, ask me things. It's easier to carry on conversations there, anyway, I'd guess.  
> I really need to sketch some things for one or two of the next chapters...  
> Oh, and hold onto your asses, guys. Things are about to get... feels-y.
> 
> This chapter includes two songs that are not mine, as well as a song I wrote the other day called Five More Minutes... I wrote it specifically for the fic, and would offer a link to show you how it's supposed to sound... but I have no decent equipment, so it would sound like I recorded it with a potato.
> 
> If you haven't already, check out the second part of Plot Holes and Palm Holes, as it will shed light on Grillby, which will be important soon enough. *hint-hint* https://archiveofourown.org/works/6545836/chapters/15008245  
> Enjoy, lovelies!

“still no results on asgore.” Sans intoned and gave Alphys a nonchalant glance, but his pinpricks were gone.

“Sans, I said I’m sorry!” At first, she really had been, when Sans had told her that Papyrus had read all of that stuff, and that it had apparently made him very uncomfortable. That had been four days prior, and he was still treating her like she killed him. “It can’t be undone, so… just get over it.” She said, looking more and more unsure of her words as he continued to stare at her with absolute darkness in his sockets, boring into her.

He closed his eyes, his grin hitching. “sure.” He shrugged.

You poked Alphys. Both of them had forgotten you were there, and you took the chance to pointedly remind them. She jumped. Sans’s eyes opened, the pinpricks back and focused on you. “Alphys, was there anything else special about the circumstances concerning Flowey?”

She shook her head. “I honestly don’t know why he’s not coming back. Did we not use enough Determination? Should we try a different flower?”

“well… shale, you could sing to the flower. maybe that would do something.”

You ignored him. Ever since that night, you had begun blushing every time you even thought to hum around him. Something told you that, were he to recognize the tune, he might join in—and goddammit, if that didn’t make your heart pound in your throat. You were trapped between an unfathomable desire to sing with him and some huge amount of apprehension at the idea.

That was partially because you knew how singing affected you. It was a feeling you couldn’t equate to anything else, really, especially when you performed for someone. It wasn’t just a good feeling that made the Void in your chest shut up for a while—it made you feel whole, complete, warm… You were embarrassed to admit, even to yourself, that the idea of singing with someone excited you in more ways than one.

You had enjoyed him singing, and when you had sung with him, even though you hadn’t put any energy into it, it had been so… sweet. You had never felt such an incredible warmth, and the Void had been stunned into silence the entire night. You couldn’t quite admit to yourself why you felt this way, and so you couldn’t stop blushing any time music was even mentioned in his earshot.

And he’d been mentioning it every damn day.

“Nah.” You said. You wobbled on your feet. “Don’t have the energy for it today.”

“Birdy, are you okay?” Alphys asked. “You… look kind of rough.”

“yeah, i hate to admit it, but you haven’t looked this bad since you got here.”

You panicked for a moment and rubbed at your throat.

“no, no. the bruises are still gone, shale. you’re okay. you’re safe.” He assured you. “you been sleeping okay?” He knew better. The nightmares had been getting worse, and you had called him after every one of them. Blue hadn’t visited you again, and you wondered if you’d offended him by telling Sans about the dream. You stared at him blankly, and he gave Alphys a sheepish look. “i think i should take them home, so they can rest.”

She nodded, “I won’t post anything. If the Underground thought you were sick or hurt, they might swamp the Ruins to check on you.”

“we don’t want that. you need some sleep.” He tugged you by the hand out of the room, and you found yourself in your living room. “wish i could offer something that would help you sleep better, but i know very little about human pharmaceuticals.”

You were secretly very happy that Sans’s voice was so quiet and low. This morning, Papyrus had barged in and carried an ear-splitting conversation with you before heading to his post. “Please, Sans, when Paps gets out, don’t let him see me. I don’t think my head can take it.”

He nodded. “and if you have another nightmare, you call me. i can put aside work to make sure you’re okay. no one will be upset, it’s no trouble.”

“You know I will.”

“can you promise me you’ll be okay?”

“I just need some dreamless sleep, Sans. I’m fine. Promise.”

You stumbled into your room and didn’t even close the door. Fully clothed, you fell onto the bed, and were asleep within moments. Sans was even more concerned. Your soul was dull. He hoped you were right, that all you needed was sleep.

“guess i need to brush up on it, just in case.” He muttered. “bound to get sick one day.” Resolved, he took a shortcut to the lab and began leafing through his father’s reports on human bodies and their many sicknesses.

 

* * *

 

_You heard the voice of your past whispering to you. You tried to comfort yourself._

_“How would I do it, if I could do it all again? If I could reset time…”_

_No._

_“If I could, how sweet would it feel to return tenfold the pain, the scars…”_

_No!_

_“And then, I could come back here. No one would know!”_

_You assured the voice that you didn’t want that. You had no desire to see Him again. The voice began to sing, softly, sweetly._

_“Goodnight, good morning, goodnight again._  
_Let me talk to you, my sleepless friend._  
_Those soft, sweet words, let us just pretend... that you meant them._  
_Innocent times, heated glances. I_  
_Reached for you, gave you second chances._  
_You and I were the perfect romance—this... this wouldn't last._

 _Five more minutes, Let me stay asleep._  
_Five more minutes, Let my spirit keep this dream alive, my hopes, my needs._  
_Five more minutes, Let my heart beat.”_

_The whisper had become darker, almost a growl in your ear._

_“Goodnight, good morning, goodnight, my love._  
_A kiss, a hug, a violent shove. I_  
_crawl to you, give you all my love...we were meant to be._  
_You took everything from me, till I had only you,_  
_made me scared to ask anything, if your words were true._  
_I was doomed to love you forever—I had nothing to do. I couldn't hate you._

 _Five more minutes, let me hide in here._  
_Five more minutes, let me hide the tears. No one must see the markings left here._  
_Five more minutes, Let me pretend, my dear.”_

_The whispers reverberated, and you hoped they would stop. Gods, please make them stop. The pains wracked your body as the memories surged._

_The voice was screaming now._

_“I can't take it anymore. No more, no more._  
_Standing right outside your door. No more, no more._  
_I can't take it anymore. No more, no more._  
_I am not your fucking whore._

 _Five more minutes, you must stay awake._  
_Five more minutes, you will feel my pain._  
_Tell me now, sweetheart, How does this feel?_  
_Five more minutes, and you'll never wake._

 _Five more minutes, let me feel your blood!_  
_Five more minutes, LETMEFEELYOURBLOOD!_  
_You took everything from me._  
_YOU TOOK EVERYTHING FROM ME!_  
_Five more minutes, **and then five more.** ”_

_The whispers ceased, and you felt something—a tug that you desperately pulled away from. No, no!_

_“Reset, and we will have all the time in the world.” The ~~voice~~ Void uttered. “All your pain will be avenged. **Our** pain.” It said your birth name, and you flinched._

_Out of the darkness, something else grew. It reached out to you, spoke in a raspy voice that you recognized, and you eagerly flung your consciousness to it. You sank into the persona of Shale easily, safely. The Void retreated._

_“You don’t know me.” ~~Shale~~ You told the Void. “You can’t erase me!”_

_The cocoon of your own magic embraced you, pushing the Void back forcefully. You could hear the Void clearly now, and shivered. “You will relent one day.”_

_You refused to respond, suffering the intense pains in silence. He wouldn’t get the pleasure of hearing you cry again. It was His voice. Why was it here? When had the Void taken His voice to hurt you?_

_You heard the scratchy whisper from within you. “ ~~It~~ ’s an il ~~lus~~ ion. It ~~just~~ wan ~~ts~~ to hur ~~t y~~ ou.” You strengthened Shale around you, and felt safe. “Yo ~~u~~ ne ~~ed~~ to wak ~~e up~~.”_

As if you’d been doused with cold water, you jolted awake and fell to the floor, getting up and stumbling into the bathroom, not making it entirely there before your stomach rejected what felt like everything you’d eaten and drank for the past two years. When you were done—or at least thought you were—you stood up, leaning on the counter to support yourself. You peered into the mirror and screamed.

Your face was gone.

No, no… your face was there.

Gods, were you going crazy?

Your face was twisted, and you couldn’t focus your eyes. Colors melted together, and your legs wobbled. You collapsed on the floor. Before darkness overtook you once more, you called out weakly, hoping someone would be around to help you.

But nobody came.

 

* * *

 

“yellow?” Sans picked up his phone, half awake. He was tempted to just not answer it, but it was Undyne. She’d bust down his door and he knew it.

“THE HUMAN IS DYING! GET OVER HERE!”

“not funny, undyne.” He felt cold all over. “you’re either a fucking bitch, or you’re overreacting…”

“I’m fucking serious, Sans! They’re dying, help me!”

She hadn’t even finished speaking when he appeared in the living room, his sockets empty. There was too much to take in, already. The house was in total disarray, as if you had lost control of your magic at some point and lashed out at everything around you. Undyne was cradling your form to her chest, sobbing. You were covered in vomit, and you realized Undyne was kneeling in a puddle of it. Sans was there in an instant, touching your forehead. You made a troubled noise, and your eyes fluttered open for a moment. “fuck, i can’t feel their temperature.”

“BOILING!” Undyne wailed, and you groaned in protest.

“calm down, undyne. you’re hurting them.”

“What do we do, Sans?!”

The door crashed open downstairs, and there was a rush of terrified voices. Sans stared blankly at Undyne for a moment. “you called everyone, didn’t you?” She didn’t answer, just hugged you closer, and you made a sound of distress as she put pressure on your stomach. Sans tried to focus. “first, can you clean them off in the shower?” Undyne nodded and stood fluidly. Your eyes sprang open and found his. You let out an unintelligible noise, tears leaking from your eyes. “be gentle, okay? use water that’s hot enough, but don’t cook them.” He reminded her.

Undyne gave him a stern look. “You’re starting to sound like Toriel. I’ve got this, just… go fill everyone else in.”

“a moment ago you didn’t sound so fucking sure of yourself. just don’t hurt them, or i’ll hurt _you_.”

She nodded, not even smirking. Sans turned and walked out of the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. Everyone had stopped in the hall, and stared at him expectantly, everyone talking over each other, trying to ask questions. Papyrus, Alphys, Toriel—the three of them were almost in tears. Everyone quieted when there was a noise from the bathroom. You were singing discordantly, and Sans could tell you were trying to sing at least five different songs at one time. Well, he _assumed_ that was what it was.

“tori, what do you know about human illnesses?” He asked while everyone else was quiet.

She looked terrified. “Little to nothing. Oh, stars, Sans, are they dying?” Tear filled her eyes and began spilling forth as she covered her face with her hands. “No, no I can’t do this again!”

“calm down, tori.” He pressed at his temples and tried to focus on what he’d read in the files, as well as the fleeting memories of the timelines on the surface. He’d interacted with sick humans, but had never had to take care of them before. “we can do this, okay? i just need you to stay calm.”

“Brother?” Papyrus’s voice sounded broken. Sans looked up at him, and Papyrus reached down to wipe his tears away with his glove. “You’re crying.” He said, and there was a cold realization in his sockets. “Tell me what to do. How do I fix this?”

Undyne leaned out and asked for either Toriel or Alphys to fetch you a change of clothes and help her out for a moment. Toriel was weeping again, so Alphys followed the call. Sans almost barged in when he heard Alphys yelp in the bathroom. “what’s wrong?!”

“N-nothing. Just… the scars.”

Sans had heard about your scars, but hadn’t seen many of them. Just the ones on your arms and lower legs. He hadn’t pried about them, not wanting to make you uncomfortable… but he was beginning to wonder how bad they’d have to be to make Alphys that upset.

Undyne carried you, clothed in the robe Toriel had given you back when you first fell, into your bedroom and gently set you on the bed. You were still muttering incoherently, calling out to everyone you saw, and some people you only _thought_ you saw. He didn't recognize some of the names, and assumed they were people you'd known on the Surface.

“What is wrong with… _them_?” Papyrus asked, following Sans and Alphys into the bedroom.

“not sure, paps…”

Toriel followed, too, still crying quietly, but unwilling to let you leave her sight. Everyone gathered closely to the bed as you stared up at everyone, eyes focusing and unfocusing as you tried to make sense of the attention. You finally quit trying to talk, and began struggling to breathe. Everyone, of course, began to panic. Sans pushed everyone else away from the bed with his magic. “everybody shut up!” He yelled, and silence reigned for a moment.

“Why?” Undyne asked.

You, still insanely delirious, called out, “’Cause he has an erection!”

Toriel squeaked and Undyne peered obviously at his crotch.

“WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?” Papyrus inquired.

You began [talking ](https://youtu.be/JEl96I_4PuI)in an exaggerated feminine voice. “Oh my god, Stacy, did I tell you about my date with Steve?” And then you took on another slightly different but still very exaggerated voice. “You went out with _Steve_?! He’s sooo cute!” Back to the first one, and everyone looked on in confusion and worry. “I know! He took me to this little restaurant and—”

You took a deep breath. “BOOOOM!” Everyone jumped, and you began singing. “EVERYBODY SHUT UP! I have an erection! It only happens eighty-seven times a day. Stop what you’re doing and witness penis perfection! THIS IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY! Your story can wait, ‘cause I am very erect. Now let’s all take a minute to watch my dick in effect—”

You continued to sing, to everyone’s horror, until Sans got everyone’s attention. “i think we can help them, but crowding them isn’t going to help.” You took a deep breath and launched back into your impassioned singing about boner-having. “if everyone just listens, we can save them.”

"Please hold your applause!" You sang and quit singing at last, looking too tired to exert any more effort.

“What do we do?” Papyrus asked, blush marring his cheeks.

Sans, relieved, began directing everyone to their strengths. “tori, can you use your magic to heat up some blankets?” She nodded and ran out of the room to find the linens. At least she knew where they were, since she’d lived here previously.

“undyne.” The woman nodded, brows knitted in concentration. “go get grillby. he’s the most reliable person who interacted with humans on the surface, even if it was pre-war.” She nodded once again sharply and sprinted out. “alphys, go to the lab and find something to measure temperature. we need to monitor shale and make sure they don’t get any worse. also, do you know what acetaminophen is?”

She looked confused. “Where did you learn about that?”

He floundered. He couldn’t exactly tell her he remembered it from an alternate timeline. “don’t worry about it. do you know what it is, and can you find some?”

She nodded. “I probably have a bottle of it among some other things in the lab for study.” You were staring at Sans, expression neutral. You remained quiet.

“bring it all here, we’ll see what we’ve got.” He said, heaving a sigh of relief. “i’ll get you there real quick. paps, i’ll be right back. watch shale and make sure they’re okay.”

Sans guided Alphys through the shortcut and then appeared right back in your bedroom. He looked at Papyrus. “okay, bro.”

“What do _I_ do, Sans? I feel so helpless.”

Sans nodded. “i know, i know…” He kept his breathing even through sheer effort. “could you clean the bathroom up? they’ll want to get clean when they’re better.”

“I SHALL CLEAN THE ENTIRE HOUSE!” He stood and gave Sans a look. “You will keep guard of…” He looked torn. For the second time, Sans noticed, he had hesitated to refer to you as "Human".

“i’ll watch them. they’re safe with me.” He assured, trying to make sense of his brother's change.

Papyrus smiled, but the warmth felt forced. Now was not the time; they both agreed silently. He sprung out of the room and began cleaning. Sans found your phone next to the bed and plugged it in. Glancing at his own phone, he cursed under his breath. It was 6:30 in the morning.

“Sans?” Your voice startled him, and he looked up at you.

“i’m right here.”

“I’m scared of the surface.” You said quietly. “I’m scared of the Void. I’m scared of everything, Sans. What if there’s no happy ending?” Tears leaked out of your eyes. “What if the Void wins? What if the pepperoni touches the floor?”

“what?”

“ _Pizza initiative, Sans!_ ” You cried out, seeming genuinely distressed.

In other circumstances, this would be humorous, but Sans could see your soul. It wasn’t just dull, its light was flickering. “shale, don’t you fucking die on me.” His voice was low and soft, and he came closer, grabbing your hand and focusing on how your skin felt. He wasn’t ready for this.

“Sans…?” Your eyes focused on his face, on the whisping lights in his sockets. The trails of wetness down his cheekbones.

“ _please_ don’t die, shale.”

You smiled at him. “I can’t die, Sans. I’m not done yet.”

“what?” He stared intently into your eyes. He didn’t care if you weren’t lucid, he wanted to cling to the hope you were going to be okay. He couldn’t afford to not cling to that hope.

You reached out and poked his nose cavity. “Boop.” You said and, pleased with yourself, passed out with a smile.

Toriel was back, and the two of them covered you with the hot blankets. Sans left you in Toriel’s care to go retrieve Alphys. When he came back, Undyne and Grillby were standing in the living room, talking quietly. Undyne looked like she had been crying again, and Grillby seemed distressed.

“grillbz, i know you don’t like talking about the surface, but what do you know about human illnesses?”

“Let me see them.” He stated, and Sans led him into your room. He investigated you, touching your forehead with his hand. You hissed and leaned into it, craving the warmth. “Fever.” He remarked. “It means the body is trying to boil the sickness out. Not a bad thing, on its own… But if temperature gets too high…”

Toriel moved to take away the excess blankets. Grillby patted her hand reassuringly. “Do not worry, your highness. That will not hurt them. Bringing the temperature down would just let the illness thrive. We must just try to keep them comfortable and hope they fight the sickness off successfully.”

“We… just wait?” Toriel asked, mortified.

“I am sorry. I… am not a doctor.” Grillby looked confused—it was an expression that Sans had come to recognize. He was trying to remember Gaster, and it caused pain.

“hey, grillbz. you were helpful, thank you. what else do you advise? should we feed them, or…?”

He jolted and looked at Sans, “I shall make some soup. Your Highness, would you like to accompany me? You’ll worry yourself to death at this rate.”

She didn’t have the energy to refuse the title or the offer. Tiredly, she followed the ageless elemental out of the room. Alphys offered Sans the bottles of medicine, and he scanned the ingredients and instructions on each of them, glad that the tiny print hadn’t blurred with age or water exposure. He wondered if any of the medicines had expired, but found that most of them hadn’t.

From the noises in the rest of the house, Undyne had joined Papyrus in cleaning, and they were both talking about how they needed to figure out all the training regimens they were going to put you through. Apparently, they were convinced that a bit of exercise would keep this from happening again. Sans sighed, happy they were handling it in their own way and not huddled in the corner like Toriel had been.

“Sans, where did you learn this stuff?”Alphys asked at last.

“i don’t want to talk about it right now.”

“This is important for me to know, Sans! Birdy is _my_ friend too.”

Sans felt his breath leave him and focused on not snapping at her. “i understand that, okay? it was in one of those reports.”

She closed her jaws with an audible click. She didn’t want to hear about those reports, afraid she’d forget something important again.

“you can’t read them, but i can tell you some of what i know.”

She nodded eagerly and sat down in front of the bed. Sans sat down, too, leaning his back against it. Your eyes were open again, and you reached out, touching the top of his skull and then drifting back to sleep, seeming relaxed by the contact. Sans made a point to not move. He closed his eyes and began talking softly, so as not to disturb your sleep. He was determined to listen for those little noises that meant you were sleeping soundly.

 

* * *

 

_You were in your first apartment, in the seedy side of town. Everyone left you alone, except for the occasional person whose stare lingered too long. You always carried a knife, just in case. Visible, so as to dissuade anyone. It wasn’t the only weapon, but…_

_The only person who ever attacked you, ironically, was your abuser._

_As if the thought had summoned him, he pulled into the parking lot of the apartment complex. You locked the door and tried to pretend you weren’t home. You stared outside through the blinds, anyway, and saw him step out of his car and turn to your apartment. His gaze met yours, and you ran back to the door, checking to make sure it was locked._

_There was no lock. Nor a knob. The door was just a slab of useless wood that seemed to be pushing itself open as you struggled against it, desperate to keep it closed._

_He said your birth name, right outside your door, and you snarled._

_When had it become like this? Birdy, Shale, Phantom… these all felt right to you, but **that** name, which had been yours for twenty-four years before coming to the Underground, felt wrong. Repulsive._

_“YO! PUNK! YOU’D BETTER BACK THE FUCK OFF!” You were shocked to hear the voice outside._

_Footsteps right outside your door, and He didn’t speak again. You could only assume He was either disgusted or terrified of Undyne as she presumably approached murderously._

_“Birdy, you okay in there?” She asked, and you nodded. Despite being on the other side of the door, she understood. Yep, dream logic. “I’ve got him in a headlock. Get out of there and get in the car!”_

_Why were you suddenly in a dress? Well, at least you weren’t naked. Embarrassingly enough, it was the[dress](http://www.rebelsmarket.com/products/vividly-printed-black-white-stretchy-skeleton-bones-bodycon-minidress-43607) Mettaton had tried to get you to wear, with the bone print on it. You ran out of the door, seeing Undyne flexing her biceps against His throat. You sprinted down to your car and jumped in. Alphys, Sans, and Papyrus were in the backseat already, somehow. Undyne was getting in the passenger side._

_You started up the car and turned on the radio. It was a familiar old song, something that you remember listening to back when you were a kid. You looked and Papyrus was in the passenger seat, and Sans was sitting between Undyne and Alphys, looking uncomfortably squished._

_It struck you like the opening to That 70’s Show. You pulled out of the parking lot, and Undyne threw a spear out the window of your car. You heard it hit, and knew it had decimated His car. You didn’t need to see it._

_Gods, you were driving too fast, and no matter how hard you mashed the petal, the car wouldn’t slow. Rather than be stressed out about it, you felt at ease. Now you were in the car with Mettaton and Burgerpants. They were hurling paper balls back and forth at each other._

_You turned around to ask them to stop, but now there was no one there. You were scared to be alone—but you weren’t alone…_

“shale, wake up. need you to take some medicine, maybe have some of this soup.” His fingers were cold on your cheek, and you flinched away from them with a grumble. “c’mon, shale. you’re gonna get dehydrated.”

You resurfaced, eyes blearily refusing to focus. “Sans?”

Grillby was nearby, holding a bowl. Alphys was holding a cup of water and some pills. She offered them to you, and with Sans’s help, you sat upright to take them. Your hands were shaking. You were shivering. Sans carefully draped another warmed blanket around your back, and you melted into it.

You tentatively ate the soup, spacing out until your spoon clinked at an empty bowl. Grillby looked very pleased with himself. He was speaking, but you couldn’t hear him. Sans nodded and thanked him, but then saw your distress. He explained calmly as Grillby headed out. “he’s gonna grab something he made that will help you. toriel ran home to grab some teas.” He touched your arm. “your temperature has been going down. you still need to rest, though.”

“Stay here.” You said, sliding back down into bed.

“what?”

“Stay right there. I sleep better when you’re here. Feel safe.” You muttered and buried your face into the warm blankets. If you would have spared him a glance, you’d have seen his cheeks were stained. Heavily.

He could hope, right? “if it helps you get better, i’ll do anything.” He said it quietly, almost to himself. Softly, he began to [hum ](https://youtu.be/6tSwtWMNXUg)to you, moving closer to the bed. You sank into the bed and were asleep almost instantly. He watched your soul glow softly, reassuringly, as he felt that now-familiar ache in his sternum. He couldn't take this much longer... Consequences be damned, he needed to tell you how he felt. If you'd died today, he would have regretted not telling you for the rest of his endurance.

 

* * *

 

_“Did you know I love this song?” You asked, listening to the muffled tune in the car. “It’s so relaxing.”_

_“had a feeling you’d like it.” He muttered from the back, and you focused on driving, hoping no one would see your blush._

_Papyrus was in the passenger seat, his head out the window. “Paps, when did you get hair?!” You gasped. It was true, he had long, luxurious hair, like Sans’s bard had._

_“I DON’T KNOW BUT IT’S HEAVIER THAN I EXPECTED!”_

_“Put your head back in the window!” You cried, afraid his hair would catch on something as you drove past and rip his head off. You were suddenly very scared._

_“calm down, shale.” Sans touched your shoulder, and you relaxed when Papyrus followed your order._

_Sighing deeply, you focused on the sound coming from the radio. You could almost make out the words, but you hadn’t really ever known this song that well. You wanted to turn up the volume, but the dial didn’t seem to work. Papyrus was gone now, and Sans was in the front passenger seat now. He reached out and touched your hand, and you felt yourself blush even deeper. Everything was peaceful, and you realized that the car had stopped. Rather than the feeling of moving forward, you felt like you were on a small boat, the world moving you in ways that made your stomach churn at first, but then became comfortable, even relaxing. You strained to hear the song on the radio, as it had gotten oh-so-slightly louder. Sans twined his skeletal fingers between your fingers, and you didn’t dare speak._

_Was it his voice or your own that spoke from his mouth? “The Void is quiet around me, isn’t it? Why is that, Shale?”_

_You thought for a moment, staring into his sockets. You smiled and squeezed his hand. The silence was comfortable, with only the intimate buzz of the radio and the pressure of his hand in yours. Could you tell him? You were filled with DETERMINATION._

 

* * *

 

Darkness reigned here. He couldn’t escape, as he couldn’t move. No arms, no legs.

“Is anybody there? Tori? Grillby? Gaster?” He paused. “Anyone! Please!”

But nobody came.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you guys enjoy the little bonus?
> 
> Tell me what you think, guys! As always, I encourage little prompts. There were some that popped up previously, and I have it planned in the story later to put those in.  
> So, yet again, HOLD ONTO YOUR FEELS, 'cause the ride's about to get bumpy!


	18. Why Can't I Hold All These Feelings?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rejected Title: *Insert one of five different songs that fit this chapter perfectly.*
> 
> Papyrus seems a bit upset.  
> Sans and Reader have PTSD and triggers.  
> Let's talk about feelings, guys. Do let's.  
> Or not. And stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, guys. This was not supposed to be how this chapter went at all. But I'm oddly... satisfied? with it?  
> It's late, so edits will be minimal. I'm sorry. But, hey, early chapter is early!  
> Please enjoy the two songs I linked in here, and if you want to know the other three that didn't make the cut... One of them would make you scream from frustration from the implication of where the chapter might have gone... (that would be called Snakedriver. https://youtu.be/Z64PXFkSS7Q). The other one I can't show you yet, as I think I might use it later on in the series lol.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy and please don't hate me too much. ;)

Sans woke up in his own bed, and panicked for a moment. He opened his flip-phone and studied it. How long had he been asleep? Were you okay? It was five in the evening.

He had messages, and he opened them. The first was from 3:00pm.

 **shale**  
_I’ll be fine after some rest. Alphys and Toriel are taking care of me, so please don’t worry. I can text you, if you like… That medicine that Grillby made has definitely done something right. Could you thank him for me?_

Sans smiled and heaved a relieved breath. The next message was even better news, at 3:30.

 **shale**  
_I’m up and about. Why didn’t you tell me that Echo Flowers make such awesome tea? Toriel has been forcing me to drink peppermint, chamomile, and echo teas all day. I can FEEL the sickness just… ugh. I’ve had probably thirty showers today._

He tried not to dwell on the thought of you in the shower. Naked human bodies were still a weird concept to him—and yours in particular made him most uncomfortable, for completely different reasons. 3:45…

 **shale**  
_Hope you got some good sleep, by the way. Alphys told me you really took charge when I was out of it. I don’t remember much of anything, even my dreams… I know I had them, but the only thing I can remember is that they weren’t terrible._

That was a relief, as well. 3:47…

 **shale**  
_Thought you said you don’t like leading. Lol I’m just pulling your leg, I’m glad you did._

He blushed. 4:50…

 **shale**  
_Hey… I wanted to thank you. And… I’m sorry I didn’t keep my promise. I thought I was fine. I understand if you’re upset with me…_

 _shit, shit!_ Sans thought, replying quickly.

 **you**  
_no, i’m not upset. you just almost died. scared the hell outta all of us._

He sent the message and stared at his phone until it flashed to alert an incoming message.

 **shale**  
_I know I can’t leave the house right now… too cold and stuff… but I’d really like to see you when I’m better. Is that okay? We can game, or something._

He typed out “it’s a date” and hastily erased it. Christ, what was he _thinking_? He remembered how you’d panicked at the idea of dating Papyrus—and he didn’t want to cause you to have a panic attack, especially when you were still in so fragile a state.

 **you**  
_sounds perfect._

Sans got up and headed downstairs. Papyrus was sitting on the couch, staring into space with an expression Sans couldn’t identify.

“you okay?”

Papyrus snapped to attention and got up. “YES, I BELIEVE I JUST NEED TO GO FOR A WALK.”

He made no move to do so. “uh, would you like me to go, too?”

“YES.”

He shrugged, trying not to let on how uncomfortable he was with his brother’s strange behavior. “had anywhere in mind?”

Papyrus was quiet for a while. “I’D LIKE TO GO THROUGH WATERFALL. MAYBE THROUGH THE WISHING ROOM.” He began walking, now, and Sans fell into step with him.

“i thought you hated that place.”

“IT IS INDEED VERY CREEPY.” He agreed, but didn’t recant his statement.

Sans shrugged. “i need to go get my telescope anyway.”

“THE TRICK ONE?”

“yea, undyne didn’t take the joke and she smashed it up. probably still there. i should probably clean it up… not like it’s just gonna… un-break, y’know?” He flinched. He didn’t usually talk about these things in front of Papyrus. There was a sense of dread, as if Papyrus was going to say something he wouldn’t be able to cope with. It was making him antsy enough to say things that wouldn’t make sense to anyone who didn’t know about the resets.

“Un-breaking…” Papyrus whispered to himself, and sighed, as if working himself up. They were entering Waterfall, now. Finally, he spoke, low. “Sans, I need to talk to you about something.”

That dread in him coiled sharply. “sure, paps. anything. i’m all ears.”

“You don’t _have_ ears.” Papyrus reminded him, a wry grin on his face. “Neither do I, though… We’re very different from…” He made an aggravated noise in his non-existent throat. “our friend.” He finally finished, sounding mournful.

“paps, what’s wrong? you haven’t been referring to them as anything, like you’re afraid to.”

“It’s because what I want to call them seems inappropriate and I don’t want to… upset them.”

“what do you want to call them?” Sans asked, genuinely confused.

Silence.

Sans’s telescope (or what was left of it) was up ahead, and Papyrus sat down on the ground while Sans picked it over, looking to see if any part of it could be salvaged. The work was quick, but he drug it out, hoping Papyrus would pick the topic up again.

He was in luck.

“They have a very beautiful soul, Sans.” He said it very reverently.

“yeah.” He wanted more than anything to ask how long he’d been able to see souls, to find out why, or how, or any number of things—but he knew Papyrus was hurting, building himself up to talk about his pain, and if Sans changed the subject even a little, asked one wrong question, his brother would lock himself away forever, emotionally.

“I didn’t notice it at first, but… after reading the website…” He drew his legs toward him and set his forehead against his knees. “I began noticing too much.”

“not sure i understand what you mean.” He’d read a bit of the stuff on the site, but for the most part it had been innocent enough, to start with.

“I feel strange around them… but not in a bad way. It’s kind of… nice. But I didn’t know what it meant.” There was a long pause. “Sans… are you and… the human dating?”

There it was. Sans recognized that expression now, and knew the internal crumpling feeling Papyrus was being swallowed by. He wanted to lie, to tell Papyrus there was no way it would happen, to tell him anything that wouldn’t shatter that hope he could see dying bit by bit.

But Sans couldn’t lie to him. With a sigh, he answered carefully. “I don’t know. Not officially.”

Papyrus’s voice was a bit harder now. “Is that what you want?”

Sans couldn’t answer for a moment. He tried to gather his words, picking through the scrap metal and busted glass yet again, pretending it was fascinating. Papyrus was patient enough to not press him, but Sans could feel his attention.

“i won’t lie to you, paps.” He said at last, still trying to remain impassive. “i wouldn’t mind it. i’m just not sure how they’d feel about it. not in any real hurry to ask, either.”

“SANS!” The sudden volume made Sans fall over from the shock. There was true anger on his brother’s face, and Sans was wondering what he’d said that was so wrong. “YOUR LAZINESS KNOWS NO BOUNDS, DO YOU KNOW THAT?!”

Sans stood and stared into Papyrus’s sockets, his own eyes cold. “it’s not laziness! i’m afraid, okay? i don’t want to scare them off.” His pretense at apathy was gone, but the tension remained. The anger was fading from Papyrus’s face. After years of holding everything back, suddenly Sans couldn’t stop himself. “i care enough about them as a friend that the thought of losing what we’ve built together… it scares the hell out of me.”

Papyrus got up, needlessly dusting himself off. “So it _is_ what you want.” He smiled at Sans and then sighed. His enthusiasm was back, as if he had only been playing at being somber and upset. “THANK YOU FOR FINALLY ANSWERING MY QUESTION, SANS. I MUST BE OFF!”

Before Sans could ask anything else, or even think to follow, Papyrus sprinted off in the direction of Hotland. Most likely to talk to Undyne and Alphys, but at this point, Sans couldn’t be sure.

Sans kicked at the rubble of his decimated telescope and muttered, “it’s not so black and white as that, bro.” And began following. As he walked through the wishing room, he heard a familiar voice come from one of the flowers. It was off by itself, out of reach of most monsters. Sans took a shortcut to it and listened.

“I wish for them to be happy. Both of them.” Papyrus had whispered to the flower. When had that happened?

Sans felt truly guilty. He should have recognized it at the D&D party. That look on Papyrus’s face when Sans had sung together with you… At least when Sans had felt the way Papyrus might be feeling now, you had been able to reassure him that you didn’t have feelings for Mettaton.

As Sans teleported away from the flower, another question came to mind. “what did he want to call them?” He’d save that for another time, when the person who could answer was actually around to hear it.

 

* * *

 

Sans woke up to a text and rolled around on his mattress, trying to find the noisy phone.

 **shale**  
_Hey, sleepy-head! I’m feeling much better today, so I think I’m gonna make some food. Tori and Alphys went home, so… I could use an extra set of hands, if you’re up for it?_

“shit, what time is it? noon, oh, okay.” He rubbed at his sockets, though it did very little good.

 **shale**  
_I’m guessing you’re still waking up._

He groaned. “shale, why you do this?”

 **shale**  
_Knock knock, bonehead._

He checked the front door, worried you’d actually gotten out in the snow.

 **you**  
_dammit, shale i thought you were outside for a moment._

There was a moment of silence before the next message came in.

 **shale**  
_I’m not that dumb. Plus, I would have physically knocked on the door if I were outside. But now I know you’re awake._

He sighed in defeat.

 **you**  
_so whaddaya want? you know i’m too lazy to help you cook, right?_

The silence was longer than he’d anticipated.

 **shale**  
_I’m not used to it being so quiet here now. It’s kind of creepy and I don’t like it._

He blushed, remembering how you’d told him he made you feel safe. You’d been completely out of it, though, so…

 **you**  
_fine, i’ll be right over. need anything from the store for the thing?_

He changed clothes, and considered getting a shower.

 **shale**  
_No, I’ve already started cooking. Just come in when you’re ready. Tori stocked my fridge while she was here, so I’ve got enough stuff that it might spoil if I don’t suddenly become a voracious eater._

He could only imagine. He’d heard Toriel remarking on how you didn’t have nearly as much food in your kitchen as you should, and how what you did have was junk. Grillby had just chuckled politely as she went about ostentatiously throwing away the things she deemed “rubbish” and making a list of things she would pick up. Sans had wondered if she bought half the damn grocery store. He realized now that it might not be that much of a stretch.

 **you**  
_maybe i’ll help you put some of it away. be over in a few._

He put his phone aside and showered. He wondered if he had any good pun shirts that were clean. He groaned in frustration with himself. He seldom regretted taking it easy, but…

Gah, he was doing it again. Thinking of time with you as a date, as anything more than it was.

He sighed. Maybe today he’d tell you?

No, not today. Why not, though? He struggled to think up a reason, any reason, to put off the rather frightening concept. He’d never had to do this before.

He had to calm himself down. He was going to end up panicking over nothing at this rate, and if he managed to avoid doing so, he was afraid he’d be irritable or too quiet. You’d ask questions. You seemed to be able to feel when he was upset, despite his ability to hide his emotions.

He chuckled. “pizza initiative.” The chuckle became a near-roaring laugh as he felt the tension knock his legs out from under him. He vowed to never let you live it down—and to make you sing that song again, so he could understand it fully. He could only imagine the amount of puns he could make about it.

He got ready and took a shortcut directly into your living room, as always. He called out, so that he wouldn’t startle you, and approached the kitchen. As he rounded the doorway, he saw you at the counter, you turned to him with a warm smile—

~~covered in dust~~

Your smile dropped. “Sans? What’s wrong?” You looked at yourself then back at him. You placed a hand on the counter and flicked some of that dust at him. “It’s _flour_.” You sighed and turned back to the counter.

He made himself breathe, even though it wasn’t strictly necessary. It was just calming—and fuck, he needed it right then.

“Do you act like that when you see monsters baking? Or is it just because I’m human?” You didn’t sound malicious, but he could tell by the way you refused to look at him that you were at least a bit upset. Despite that, you continued to prep the whatever-it-was.

“sorry. it’s…”

“I understand.” You said. “It’s one of your triggers, and I’m sorry… but you _know_ I’m different than that. You know I’d never purposely hurt anyone, right?”

He didn’t answer, because he was afraid to. There was no correct answer, here. He didn’t like the idea of you fighting, but he didn’t like the idea of you stoically taking hits just because you knew you could.

You took his silence the wrong way, and he hurried to explain his thought process. “i know, shale. call it a gut-reaction. or a knee-jerk reaction, since i at least _have_ knees.”

Your mouth twitched. For a while, the silence stretched. “Have you ever had pot pie?” You asked at last.

“don’t think so.”

“It’s another one of my mom’s recipes. I found something in the fridge that looked like chicken or turkey. Hope it’s close enough, because that’s what I’m using.” You smiled into the pie-dish, trying to lighten the mood. The silence stretched out, because Sans couldn’t think of a way to move on. You sighed and looked over at him. “Hey, I’m not mad, okay? I really can’t blame you. I have triggers, too.” You gave him an encouraging smile. “How about a story for a story? If you’re comfortable with it, that is.”

He leaned casually against the wall. “who goes first?”

You shrugged. “Well, I already know what I’ll talk about, if you want me to go first.” You turned back to the counter.

“that’s fine by me. what is it?”

“Candles.” You said. “I don’t know if you know this, but some humans on the surface like to inflict or receive pain as… a pleasurable thing. During sex, and stuff…” You hesitated in your prepping and speech for a moment, and then reapplied yourself to both, seeming much more firm, if a bit shaky. “He… my abuser… umm he liked to give pain. He didn’t like to study up for safety, or listen to me. There was never a safe word… My side didn’t really matter, as long as I didn’t deprive him of what he wanted.”

“what a prick.” Sans growled, trying to avoid mental images for fear of losing his temper.

You let out a short laugh. “You have no idea.” You stopped, steadied your breathing for a moment. “It was before things got really bad. Before he decided I was his back-burner bitch, or whatever he wanted to call me. He’d hit me before, yeah, but… never scarred me. He wanted me to be a blank, pristine canvas that he could show to the world, you know? A perfect doll.”

You washed your hands, and he noted that you continued to do so for a few minutes. “He, uh… bought a candle and poured hot wax on my back, but uh… the wax was oil-based, and it didn’t sit too well with my skin. I had some pretty bad burns… and it left a fucking huge… scar. He uh… lost interest in me as a trophy at that point, I guess. But… he decided I was still useful, I guess? As his own little canvas.” You dug in the fridge for something, pulling out a bottle of ketchup and handed it to him, your hands shaking noticeably.

You closed your eyes and leaned back against the counter again. “That was when things really went to shit, because I was his dirty secret, then. I was his outlet. His cheap whore. And every time I thought of leaving him, he’d leave another scar and tell me no one would ever suffer my impure markings like he did. He said I was lucky he was there, because no one would love me.”

Sans’s fingers made the glass bottle in his hand crackle, and he hurriedly released his death-grip on it, almost dropping it. You hadn’t heard the noise, and he was grateful. You were so jumpy right now. You were staring at the floor, at your legs. You were wearing shorts today, so your legs and the scars upon them, were clearly visible. “he was lying to you.” Sans said, and you jumped a bit, as if startled.

You smiled at him. “I know. But… uhm… anyway.” You turned back to the counter. “Candles.” You said it with fake cheerfulness, and he saw you appraise the pie tin before turning to the stove and realizing it wasn’t pre-heated. “How ‘bout you?” You asked as you turned the oven on.

“well, uh… dust and knives, but you already knew that, right?”

You nodded. “Yeah, and you… kinda implied the reason before… but…”

“in some of those dreams i used to have, frisk killed everybody. tori, paps, undyne, mettaton, and me. everyone in between, too. i don’t entirely know what happened after that, ‘cause i was kinda dead.” He let out a half-hearted chuckle. Silence bloomed. “i could never protect papyrus. i always ended up locked there in place, watching from afar, if i was there at all… sometimes… frisk wouldn’t kill everybody… sometimes they would just kill _him_. they knew I was watching, too.”

You shuddered. “That’s fucking sick.”

“and on those times… i couldn’t kill them. the only time i could ever fight them… was when i knew the entire fabric of reality was in danger. remember how i told you that i don’t make promises?”

“Yeah?”

“a long time ago, i promised tori that if a human came through the door i would protect them. i… don’t break promises. ever, if i can help it. you shouldn't make a promise you don't intend to keep.”

You looked upset.

“but… when they would kill everyone, i knew that one way or another, that promise didn’t mean shit—because the world would either reset after i killed them, or cease to exist altogether if they killed me. and in either case… i _needed_ to fight.” He clenched and ground his teeth. “and for every one time they killed my brother with a smile on their goddamned face, i killed them ten times with ten times more enjoyment.” He looked up at you, afraid he had said something too dark, too horrible. The silence wore on.

“I feel… kind of déjà vu… like I’m forgetting something important.” You sighed. “Before I got sick, I remember I had a nightmare, but…” Your face twisted into a grimace.

“shale, you okay?”

“It hurts to try to remember.”

“was it about gaster?” That was a common side-effect of gaster-related memory loss.

“No… I don’t think so? I think it was about the surface.” You touched your chin pensively. “One word. It’s on the tip of my tongue.” After a moment you groaned in frustration and turned around. “Lost it. Go on, though. I’m listening. Sorry I interrupted.”

“you didn’t… i was afraid i’d scared you by talking about killing the kid.”

“I thought of killing my abuser a lot.” You turned around suddenly and clapped your hands. “I REMEMBER NOW!”

“what?”

“The Void was telling me to _reload_ to before, on the surface. It wanted me to kill him, and then come back here, but I said no!”

Sans went cold. Reload? No, that couldn’t be what you meant.

“Sans?” Your expression made him wonder what his face looked like.

“you said no? what happened then?”

“It tried to get me to do it anyway. I don’t know how, or what. I guess it was… just another fever dream or something… oh! But then Shale—or, the Dancing Day Shale, anyway—saved me. They told me to wake up, and… oh, well… that’s when I got really sick.” You looked stumped. “I think there was something else, but I can’t…” The oven beeped and you unceremoniously tossed the pie in, setting a timer. "It was just a dream, though... I think." You pressed your lips into a hard line. "I hope."

“how much do you remember from that day?”

“The day I was sick and almost died? Next to nothing. With the little that Alphys told me, I guess that’s kind of a good thing. Apparently Toriel never stopped crying except when she was tearing my kitchen apart.” You were so nonchalant about your near-death experience. It at once amused and infuriated him.

Sans sighed and relaxed against the wall, not realizing he'd ever gone rigid. “you don’t remember any of the other dreams?”

You thought for a moment. “Nah. I tend to forget most of my dreams, thankfully. Only remember the bad ones. You know, the ones where my face turns into my abuser’s and shit like that.”

“didn’t you tell me that human dreams represent things?”

“Yeah.”

“so what the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

You took a breath. “Well, on the occasions that I would fight back against him, he would act like I hurt him, physically or emotionally, and tell me I was abusive to him. And I, uh… believed him. I think that’s what the dreams are about. Being afraid I’ll hurt someone I care about. I guess, deep down, I’m just scared that I’ll turn out just like him.” You paused. “It’s weird. The things I miss from the surface don’t seem worth missing when I remember that he’s up there enjoying them.”

“like what?”

“Well, moonlight, of course. All of the music…” You had that wistful look in your eyes again. “I had wanted to perform… but he told me I was good but not good enough. I mean… I know I’m not that great—not as great as the ones who are popular and make all the money… but I didn’t want to do it for the money or the popularity, you know? I just wanted to _feel_ something.”

“why did you listen to him? i’ve _heard_ surface music and i think you’re great!”

You blushed and looked away. “You’ll disagree if you’re around me for long. I… never shut up.”

“shale, i’m serious.”

“So am I! Everyone always ends up tired of my voice.”

“try me.” He dared.

There was a parallel here, and it wasn’t lost on either of you. You blushed and looked away. He could feel your soul pulsating, yearning. It had been dull just a while ago, but suddenly it was bright and begging to be seen.

“Sans… please… I’m not up for it right now.” You said.

Something in your voice made him blush, but he wasn’t sure why. He nodded, and looked away until your soul quit flaring. Any thought of telling you fled. You weren’t ready for it right now. You were still healing from that asswig on the surface. “if i ever meet that guy, please point him out to me so i can show him a bad time.”

Your gaze softened on him. He wished he knew what you were thinking.

“I’ve changed into a different person since I fell.” You said suddenly. “I’ve become more confident… and I don’t hate myself nearly as much as I used to.” You smiled. “Even… if my body is just how he left it, I’m a different person, aren’t I?” Tears brimmed in your eyes, and you didn’t bother to wipe them away.

“shale?” He reached out.

“When we get to the surface, I don’t want to see any of them again. I don’t want my old name back. I never want to hear it again. I… I mean, with my magic, I could disguise my face and no one would ever recognize me. Maybe I could even look like I did on Dancing Day… but... what if we get up there and you all forget about me? It’s a big world out there. We won’t always be huddled together in one place.”

“ _shale_ …” He stared you hard in the eyes. You met his gaze hesitantly. “i support whatever you want for yourself. as for us forgetting about you…” He had to admit, that hurt. “you lie to yourself a lot. so… here… let me make this perfectly clear to you.” He didn’t break eye contact. He wanted to make sure you understood him. “i will _always_ be there for you. that’s a fucking _promise_.”

You closed your eyes, tears leaking. You nodded, and there was a comforting silence. You breathed deeply, evenly, with control. Emotions successfully reined in, you opened your eyes and spoke in a very small whisper. “May I sing something for you?”

He nodded, trying not to appear too eager. He noticed the magic emerge from your hand, into your phone on the counter. “Please, be patient with me… It’s been a while since I sang this song. It… never meant anything to me before now.”

He gave you a reassuring smile. “you’ll make it beautiful. you always do.” He whispered back, blushing when he realized what he'd said.

Your soul flickered with uncertainty, but the [music](https://youtu.be/6zBwSQ3qoqI) began. You stood straight, and focused your magic into the phone, solidifying the music, making it louder. You began vocalizing, and he watched your face, your eyes closed again.

“The rebel inside… a mind of my own. I haven’t felt right since the moment that I gave up. I challenged my limits… I’m feeling I’m becoming limitless. I take it all in… and inhale.”

Your eyes opened, but you looked like you were focused on something that wasn't there. “I’m wide awake. Open my eyes and the sky is so blue. All of a sudden I know that I treasure my life. I find myself wide awake… Like you.”

Your eyes focused, and you continued without missing a beat. Sans, however, was breathless. “The struggle within… now I understand. Freedom begins when you get out of the cage you built. It looks like I’m crazy, but I’m not the only one to believe in myself. Believe in myself; I won’t be coming undone. ‘Cause I feel like I’m wide awake. I open my eyes and the sky is so blue. And all of a sudden, I know that I treasure my life. I find myself wide awake… Like you—”

You trailed off into vocalization, while your magic explored the kitchen hesitantly. He heard the music in your phone distort slightly. You were losing focus, staring into his eye sockets. “I’m wide awake. I open my eyes and the sky is so blue… and all of a sudden I know.” the phone echoes you and continues the line. “All of a sudden I know how I’d treasure my life…” You didn’t continue the line, and the song cut off prematurely. The tears came again, your magic still drifting about, clutching at him, clutching desperately at the phone.

He pushed off from the wall and moved toward you as you slid to sit on the floor, back against the counter. He reached out to you, and felt your magic surge. The phone repeated the line in a static-like hiss. “ ~~Aall f a sdden… I know ha-how… I’d trsure my life… with~~ —” There was a keening, garbled noise from your phone as it sparked. You sobbed brokenly on the ground and he wondered what he should do.

He crouched down and recalled the chorus of a [song ](https://youtu.be/n357q4DBJbA?t=58)one of his D&D buddies had showed him on the surface. It was the only part he knew, the only part that mattered right now. “it’s up to you… please don’t let… this fade away. you have the choice to hold on or let go…”

You looked up at him as he sang, and he felt your soul reaching out, yearning again. He opened his arms, and you scrambled into them, sobbing against his sternum.

“I… think I blew the speaker out of my phone.” You finally said when you could speak properly.

He just held you tighter. There would be time to talk about feelings another day. Right now, he just wanted to game with you, eat with you, and let you wind down. As it was, he was filled with hope that perhaps those garbled words had been your own. Maybe… nothing needed to be said. Maybe… this would be enough.

You were both filled with ANTICIPATION.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many references to other chapters... I ended up deleting entire chunks of dialogue, because it kept moving the story away from what it was supposed to be. The moral is if you put Sans and Shale in a room together, they'll laugh and crack jokes at each other all day, even after someone steps on someone's toes.


	19. A Not-So-Modest Proposal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter wasn't supposed to have feels, help me.  
> .......  
> ...and stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope the wait was worthwhile, guys, cuz i'm so very very tired.  
> i hope you guys know how happy it makes me to check my inbox and see how much you guys are getting into this. You guys seriously don't understand how happy you make me by existing! Take care of yourselves, okay? Love you all!

After the pot pie had cooked, you and Sans retreated to his house to share it with Papyrus. After the brief explanation of what it was and how it was made—and a longer explanation on why hadn’t put pasta inside the pie—the three of you settled down in the living room. At your timid request, they sat back and watched you as you shared the glory of the game Okami with them. They agreed with you that Alphys—and likely, Undyne as well—would have a heyday with it.

Sans could tell that the food and the game were helping you calm down. You also seemed to greatly enjoy introducing them to the story. Knowing that Papyrus had trouble reading small letters, you read the dialogue aloud in an array of voices that made Sans chortle despite his best efforts to remain impassive. He felt a secret kinship with the weary wolf already. Resurrected after a century, and the first thing they wanted was a nap. He could get behind that. The little, loud, bouncing bug reminded Sans somewhat of Papyrus, as he never quit egging the wolf along toward their goals.

He did have to admit that the game’s music was quite soothing, and there was something about the way the game was put together that left him in awe. It was like a moving painting, and when he said as much, you beamed at him and went on about the game and why it was that way. You were like a box of trivia. _Such a nerd._ He found himself blushing, feeling charmed by your exuberance.

Papyrus got a call from Undyne and left excitedly, not bothering to tell either you or Sans what it was about. The two of you just went on playing, and to Sans’s amusement, you continued to voice the dialogue with increasingly more hilarious tones and expressions. Now that Papyrus wasn’t around, you didn’t feel it necessary to just gloss over the dirty jokes, which were in no short supply, he noticed now. You remarked how the same team who made this game also made Godhand—and that explained a lot.

If you hadn’t been making it so entertaining to watch, the music would have put him to sleep. Eventually, though, you set the controller down and got up to stretch, several pops and snaps making him twitch from concern. You let out a blissful sigh and he let out a breath he’d been holding. You said you were feeling like walking a bit. You muttered that you wished you could go outside, but he quickly denied you.

“shale, you’re not goin’ outside until we know you’re completely recovered. there’s no guarantee you’d survive that a second time.”

“Yes, _mum_.” You mock-glared. “I had to at least try, though. I’d like some relatively fresh air.”

Your pocket began to vibrate, and you ignored it. You hadn’t had the chance to tell anyone that your speaker was busted, and you were unwilling to touch the damned thing if you could help it. Sans’s phone began ringing, and you sighed.

He had noticed you interacting with your growling phone, and passed his to you. “must be important, huh?”

With a sigh, you opened his flip phone and hit a couple buttons. “Yeah, Alphys? Sans is here, too, you’re on speaker.”

“O- _oh_ I didn’t know… am I interrupting something?”

“I guess not. What’s up?”

“Could you guys come here? I’ve got Muffet here… and…”

“wait, why?” Sans asked, suspicion sharp in his tone.

You could hear Alphys flinch. “Just… please? You two have to help me!”

You heard something in the background that made your stomach twist. Mettaton was remarking about how Muffet had outdone herself, and Papyrus’s voice rang that he found the costume to be entirely unnecessary.

“I have a lot of questions.” You said tiredly.

“W-we’re going to... prank the… entire Underground?” She sounded very unsure. “And I want your help?”

“GET YOUR PUNK ASSES OVER HERE AND DO THIS SHIT!”

“christ, undyne, chill your tits.” Sans growled into your speaker.

“SAY THAT TO MY FACE!”

“I reserve the right to refuse whatever this is, okay?” You asserted.

“Deal!” Alphys squealed in delight, and hung up.

“shale!” Sans groaned in aggravation.

“I’ll be fine!” You protested. “Please, don’t baby me, okay?”

He was silent, and when you happened a glance, you saw he was blushing. “fine, let’s go, then.” He grumbled and you headed through the nearest doorway, finding yourselves in the front room of the lab, amidst absolute chaos. “i immediately regret this decision.” He said for you alone. You almost agreed. But then you saw Alphys and almost laughed yourself silly or fainted—you weren’t sure which, yet. Regrettably, you recognized what she was [wearing](http://img.en.barks.jp/image/review/1000003246/BABYMETAL_ap_201309_w600.jpg), and the music blaring over the speakers as Alphys danced along to the music video playing on her huge screen. To your absolute horror, your two taller friends were dressed in what appeared to be [cartoonish skeleton nighties](http://trendy.nikkeibp.co.jp/article/pickup/20121026/1044961/02_px267.jpg).

“No fucking way, Alphys.” You protested. “I don’t know how you found Babymetal, but…”

Mettaton tackled you before you could finish berating her, and the robot crushed you to him while spinning. “I was so worried about you!” He cried out, and you tapped-out on his shoulder, your lungs pleading to draw breath again. He set you down on your feet, steadying you with his hands on your shoulder. You noticed that his eyes looked moist, and you felt terrible briefly. “I wanted to be there, but...”

“You didn’t miss much, I promise.” You said. “I’m still here.”

“naw, you missed them singing about **boners**.” Sans disagreed, suddenly next to you, staring up at Mettaton in a way you could only describe as predatory.

Mettaton reluctantly let go of your shoulders, with a gentle smile that didn’t fit him at all. “Just think, though. If you die, Alphys could make you a body like mine. I could help you _get used to it_ , too.”

“Eeh? That is true, I guess?” You felt suddenly uncomfortable under his gaze. You hadn’t noticed Sans jolting and trying to keep his rage from boiling to the surface.

“Anyway, I was hoping that you two would refuse to help Alphys on this. She wants to do it live and sabotage my ratings.” Out of Sans's sight, Mettaton shot you a wink.

“we’ll do it.” He growled, and you finally looked at him.

You were about to ask what the hell had gotten into him, but you were suddenly aware that you were standing between them as they stared down like they were about to murder each other.

“Oh, fucking _Christ,_ guys.” You groaned. You turned to Sans. “You just let him get **under your skin** and manipulate you like a dolt.” You turned to Mettaton. “And you…” You trailed off, suddenly confused. He smiled innocently at you and you sighed. “I don’t know what to do with you.” The look he gave you in response told you he certainly had ideas, and you blushed to your roots. “Mettaton, if I didn’t know better, I’d say you were drunk.”

“Isn’t it lovely, darling?” He pirouetted before you, and you shrank back slightly. He was even more unpredictable than usual. “I remarked earlier that I felt like the odd one out at the party, and Papyrus offered to try something to help.” He leered down at Sans, tauntingly sultry. “I didn’t know he could hack.”

“Papyrus can hack?” You asked Sans.

“ _Deliciously_ , I might add.” Mettaton almost groaned it.

Sans moved forward, probably to rip the robot’s arms off, but you grabbed onto his arm and pulled him back with your entire weight. Of course, he didn’t falter in his steps, until a strange feeling like elastic snapping made you fall backward a step, and you found yourself clutching a dislocated arm swathed in a sleeve. Mettaton cackled and danced off, and Sans looked back at you, face stark blue. You squeaked, realizing what had happened. “Are you hurt?!”

Sans twitched his fingers, and you felt them move against your thigh. You squeaked again, realizing you were clutching his arm flush against your front. You were sure your face was molten as you dropped the arm, watching in horror as it fell out of the sleeve onto the floor. “nah, doesn’t hurt.” He picked it up and shrugged the jacket off of his shoulder to reattach it. “held together by magic. i forgot humans can’t do that.” Sans turned back and stared after the departed robot. He sighed. “where’s my brother?”

You were still covering your cheeks when Muffet came over to you, holding red and purple tulle to your hips and nodding in approval. She did a few quick measurements, though you couldn’t be sure what for. She jotted down some notes on a little pad of paper and then turned to Sans and proceeded to take his measurements while also holding the tulle to his waist.

“wait, what?”

“Hold still, Sans, or I’ll _make_ you hold still.” She hissed.

“shale, help.”

“Oh, gods, she’s serious about this. Oh no…” You were horrified. “Wait, who is who?”

Alphys had come to see how it was going and had heard your question. She looked excited, taking it as agreement to participate. “I’m Moa, you are Su, and Sans is Yui!” She was practically vibrating with eagerness. “Do you know any of the songs, Birdy? Please, please, please!!”

You glanced around for an escape. Undyne and Papyrus were casually sparring in their costumes while Mettaton watched while posed seductively. You could hear Sans grinding his teeth, though whether it be from Mettaton checking Papyrus out or from Muffet’s treatment of him, you weren’t sure, but figured it was the former.

“Bits and pieces?” You admitted, realizing you weren’t getting out of this.

Alphys let out a screech of happiness. “Whichonesdoyouknow?!”

You felt your blush return. “A few.”

“Which. Ones. Birdy.” She was hopping now, and you finally caved.

“[Megitsune](https://youtu.be/cK3NMZAUKGw), [Uki Uki Midnight](https://youtu.be/K3ur7bQjoR4), and [Gimme Choco](https://youtu.be/WIKqgE4BwAY)… and [Akatsuki](https://youtu.be/bXp2HVg0Z30).” You didn’t want to admit that the songs were what used to wake you up in the morning and hype you up enough to not kill people at work when you were topside. You had enjoyed the cuteness, even though it wasn’t what you normally liked.

Alphys nearly fainted from joy, and grappled you, tugging you down so she could hug your neck. You choked a bit, but let her strangle you with affection. “Will you p-please do this with me, Birdy?”

“Can you tell me what the hell happened, first?” You asked wearily.

She let go of you and looked at her feet shyly. “W-we found a DVD at the dump, and… it was full of Babymetal music videos and performances. Undyne and I watched it, and M-Mettaton wants to have it on the show—but b-better. He says he’s been trying to find a way to g-get you and Sans on stage together, and this would be p-perfect. When I said that there would need to be a third person, he s-suggested me doing it.”

“And you agreed?” You gave her a look. “I know how you get under pressure, Alphys.”

“I won’t be alone, though!” She said, looking up at you, eyes shining in a way that almost made you weep. Then she took on a very sly expression. “Plus, imagine Sans in a tutu. No one will even _see_ me!”

You cracked up and looked at the skeleton in question. He was glaring at the two of you, sockets black, while Muffet continued to take measurements. You grinned at him smugly. “Actually, I think he’d look great in a tutu.”

His pinpricks came back and he looked away, face going blue. “i hate you _so_ much right now.” He muttered.

Alphys pawed at your arm. “My fanfic continues to write itself!” She bubbled and tugged you off to watch the videos and attempt the choreography. Mettaton stumbled his way closer to heckle the two of you, and then to show you how to improve when he realized he wasn’t being helpful.

This would be an eventful week.

 

* * *

 

Day three of learning the dances, and you were sure you were developing abs. Undyne remarked from her skeleton costume that you should be glad you were working up a tolerance to physical activity now, because after the concert on Mettaton’s show, you were going to begin battle training with her and Papyrus. She said that the only reason you weren’t doing that right now as well was because she was still concerned about your health.

You wondered about the merits of feigning a future illness. You hated to admit it, but battle training sounded very intimidating, even from such dear friends.

When you’d remarked about as much to Sans, he’d promised he’d be there to make sure they didn’t get too carried away, as well as help you out if you needed it. You weren’t sure how much help he’d be, lazybones and all, but it made you feel much better about it.

The dances were easy enough to master—but learning how to sing while also flailing around was a different story. You took to doing light jogging through the Underground when not practicing with the others, and when it became easier to breathe you added the strain of singing while running. By week’s end, you felt your diaphragm was strong enough to Fus-Roh-Dah someone in Waterfall from the Core. You would have to continue to do this. It felt good to feel strong in so many ways. You had taken to chanting the [dragonborn ](https://youtu.be/UsnRQJxanVM?t=34)song from Skyrim while running (or, really, as much as you could remember). It set a nice pace.

Plus, it was fitting, right? Being Shale, and all. You were as close to dragonborn as a human could get, you thought. You hadn’t played Skyrim since you were topside, and were beginning to miss it—and that wasn’t the only thing you were missing. It had been months now since you fell. You were beginning to get rusty on some songs you thought you’d never forget.

If you don’t remember a song entirely, you can’t play it very well with any device. You were terrified you would forget something cherished, something you’d need.

Hell, if only you could find your CD book from the surface. Damn your abuser for keeping that for himself!

If only you could access the human internet…

During practice on day five, you reminded Alphys for the umpteenth time that your phone was busted, and she finally fixed it—and then realized you would just end up busting it up again. She began designing you a pocket Soul-Amp. It would be like the chamber downstairs that you had used before, but small enough you could clip it to a belt. It would also, thankfully, be much sturdier than your phone.

You asked Papyrus if he’d ever tried hacking onto a human server, or if one could even be located from the Underground. Mettaton and Alphys said they’d start working on finding an available server as soon as the concert was over. Papyrus agreed to try to hack the human internet, if it would make you happy. You had given him a hug and promised to make dinner that night. You had rushed away to make a shopping list, without seeing the intense glow of his cheeks.

 

* * *

 

On day seven, you and Mettaton found yourselves sitting around, and you asked him how he felt about Papyrus. Mettaton simply remarked that they had a lot in common and he was very sweet. Apparently Papyrus had been the first to notify Mettaton on your health, updating him as frequently as he could. When you pressed him for more information, trying to understand the expression on your robot friend’s face, he successfully changed the subject. “Oh, my dear Phantom, what are you going to be doing for Love Day?”

“Love Day?” You remembered that the monster version of Valentine’s day was coming up very soon. “Oh, shit, when is that?”

“It won’t be long now, darling.” He winked at you. “Do you have plans or shall I make some for you?”

“Eeh?” You felt like your eyes would pop out if they were any wider. “Are you flirting with me?”

“Did it work?” His smile was lecherous, and you felt your entire body heat up, as if you were blushing all over.

Then the worst—or perhaps best—thing that could have happened, happened. Bony hands grasped a flesh shoulder and a metal shoulder. You heard crunching under one of them, and Mettaton choked back a gasp, his smile efficiently erased.

“shale, would you help me out over _there_?” You looked up to see Sans without his eye-lights, his smile too wide, a thin sheen of sweat beginning to show. He was holding himself back.

“Uh…” you glanced at Mettaton, who was trying to shrink out from under Sans’s _very_ firm grip. “Sure thing, Sans.” You noted that his other hand had merely rested on your shoulder, and when he moved it away, you shivered from the near-ticklish sensation. “I’ll uh, get back to you on that later, okay, Mettaton?” You told the whimpering robot with a bit of sympathy.

Sans finally released your flirty friend and you almost whistled in awe at the dents in the metal. He grabbed your arm at the crook of your elbow and walked you away. For some reason, you were immensely aware that his grasp was soft, as if he were afraid he’d break you if he wasn’t careful. Remembering those dents, you were aware that it might be the case, with him so riled up right now.

“What’s up, Sans?” You asked, eyes sternly meeting his empty sockets. The lights flickered back on in there, and he looked a bit… nervous?

“first he goes after my bro, then my best friend.” Sans touched the back of his skull, scraping softly at it, averting his eyes. “he’s been pretty heavy on you, if you didn’t notice. ever since the d&d party, he’s been making eyes at you. you get that, right?” This was news to you. He could see it on your face. He let out a frustrated breath in a huff and continued. “remember when he argued with me about seducing you—i mean the dragon?” He was blushing heavily now, probably from his slip-up. He didn’t wait for you to answer. “i’m almost certain he wasn’t playing around. he’s been wanting to **bone** you ever since dancing day.”

You hitched an eyebrow. “Pretty sure he’s just a flirt. I don’t think I’m his type.”

He looked horrified. “shale, are you fucking _blind_?”

“He doesn’t treat me any different than you or Paps do.” You said idly, looking at the taller skeleton as he and Undyne grappled each other as always while Alphys shot withering glances at Sans while trying to soothe Mettaton. Luckily for Sans, you hadn’t noticed him flinching at your observation and flush a deeper color bordering navy. “It’s not that I’m blind, I’m just a human.” You shrugged. “There are better options out there, even among my species, for people to choose from. I’m… just not really relationship material.”

Sans looked up at you, noticed your expression, and softened what he’d been about to say. “you’re not broken, shale. you deserve love, too. if you want it, that is.”

You smiled wanly. “That’s just it, Sans.” You looked at your arms, touched at the small cigarette burn on your wrist, and sighed. “I think I’m kinda afraid of LOVe.”

He wanted to argue with you, to convince you that what you were thinking of wasn’t love at all, but… he could see it in your face, you weren’t ready for that yet. You weren’t ready to talk about it, hear about it, or give it even the hint of another chance. “okay, shale. if you need to get out of a date, though, i was planning to shut myself in and game that day. welcome to join me.”

He glanced at you, saw you smile, and hoped like hell you didn’t see through him. You looked at him. “Sure, thing.” You winked playfully, gloominess fleeing you. “It’s a date, then.”

You were joking, he knew, but that made it even more painful. He needed to change the subject. “after the concert, though, i have some prep work to do, so if i don’t answer my phone, don’t panic.”

“Prep work?” You cocked your head adorably and he looked away. “Whatcha workin on, lazybones?”

He knew that half the reason you were being so cheerful right now was because it staved off the depression. It was almost the same coping mechanism he used, himself. He’d tell you if it kept you from dwelling on your scars. “i, uh… i’m building something special.”

“Ooh, what is it? Is it science-y?”

“nah, not really. you’ll see. it’s for you, anyway.”

You were silent, and he hazarded a glance at you. “What for? Do I need to get you something, too?”

“no, shale, it’s not like that. just…”

“You mean you just decided to build something for me for no reason?” You smirked. “I call bullshit.”

He sighed in aggravation. He couldn’t tell you it was a gift for this dumb holiday—not when you were dead set to not celebrate it. “dunno when your birthday is, so i decided to be prepared.” He lied, and congratulated himself on the smooth delivery.

“Uh, huh. Sure.” You smiled at him, and he noticed you were just teasing him now. “So what is it?”

“nope.”

“Awww, Saaaans!” You tugged at his sleeve. “Tell meeee!”

“nope.”

Alphys called the two of you over to her, and said that practice would need to be cut short tonight anyway. The concert would be the night after next, and everyone needed to rest up. The next day, there would be dress rehearsals, and then the performance the following evening.

For convenience, you decided to stay over at the skelebros’ house, and spent most of the evening playing Godhand and laughing together. At some point, though, Sans excused himself and disappeared. You didn’t understand why that was necessary, or where he’d gone, and after a while you became concerned. You called, but he didn’t answer. Aggravated, you called again and wandered about the house, listening for his ringtone. You didn’t hear it, so you pulled on your coat and went outside, still listening for his phone. You checked Papyrus’s shed, but no sounds emerged.

You growled in frustration, but heard something from behind the house before you could give up. You smirked and followed the noise, sounding like muffled music, and found a door behind the house. You’d never noticed a back door to the house before. You tried the knob but it was locked. You knocked, but the music was too loud for him to hear you.

You wondered for a moment, identifying the song, if you could focus your magic into the doorknob and open it. “That would be stupid.” You laughed. After a moment’s contemplation, you decided that to not try would be even stupider.

As you had recognized the [song](https://youtu.be/djV11Xbc914?t=53), you concentrated, trying to figure out from the muffled beat what part of it was playing. When you found the line, you sang along, working your magic up, “Take on me… take me on…” and focusing it, “I’ll be gone… in a day or two—!” into a single burst, trying to aim it at the lock. You tried to open the door, but it didn’t budge. You continued singing, unawares of yourself, as you struggled to open it despite it being locked.

The door opened and you fell over the threshold to the floor, stopping a couple inches from the ground, as Sans caught you with his magic. You noticed there was broken glass that looked like it had been from tinted bottles scattered across the floor. “what are you doing?” He asked, turning the music down. “why are you here?”

“You wouldn’t answer your phone!” You whined as he straightened you to your feet. “I got worried, so I came looking for you.” You grinned at him. “By the way, you seem to really like 80’s music.” You remarked as the next song came on.

He sighed and ushered you in. You noticed he wasn’t wearing his jacket now, and you saw it draped over something on a work-counter. There was also a sheet covering something in the corner. The entire room was dusty and stuffy.

“What is this, anyway?” You asked, coming in.

“it’s my personal lab. i don’t let people just come in here, you know.”

“Oh, what? Do I need to pay a cover charge to enter the 80’s club?”

He growled. “It keeps me calm while I work.”

“Aww, you’re all flustered. Don’t worry, I like it. Reminds me of home.”

He gave you a curious look. You realized his confusion. “No, no… my mom listened to this stuff when she did creative things. She’s the one that always encouraged me to sing. I… had quite the eclectic collection.”

He nodded. “i can’t work on your gift with you in here.” He said at last.

“Come _on_!” You groaned playfully. “I won’t look, just lemme sit in here with you!”

He grumbled for a moment. Finally he shrugged. “fine, but only because you like the music. it'd be too much **treble** to throw you out, anyway.”

“I’ll probably end up singing along, you know.” You were giving him a chance to change his mind, but he took it as a promise.

“i’d like that.”

You blushed despite yourself. “So why this CD? Surely you’ve heard good orchestral music or something that calms you down better?”

He shrugged, walking back to the counter where his project sat. “found it a couple years ago, and alphys gave me a stereo. i dunno, i just kinda like the beat.”

You smiled. “My mom and I would listen to these bands a lot. She had the hots for all of them.”

He chuckled. Hearing you say something nice about the Surface made him happy, but it also made him worried that one day you’d miss it and leave somehow. You picked up on his silence.

“Something wrong?”

“nah, nothing.” You cleared your throat in aggravation, and he sighed in defeat. You were stubborn. Incredibly so. It must be all that Determination—but there was something else there, too, he knew.

“Sans, quit staring at me and talk.”

“shit, sorry.” He blushed. You could feel when he was staring at your soul. That wasn’t normal—at least, he didn’t think it was. “i guess i was just wondering if you missed your mom.”

You were silent for a moment. “You know… I kind of do. But with how everything was, I hadn’t talked to her for a while before I fell. He… made me choose. He said that time with him should always come first, and so eventually, I didn’t go see her anymore—especially when she saw one of the scars and accused me of hurting myself.” You paused for a moment, worrying that scar again with your thumb. “I wonder how she’s doing, a lot. Wonder if she misses me… if she’s worried… but… at the same time, I feel like this was for the best?”

He shook his head. “why?”

“Well…” You couldn't summon the words. You knew that it wasn't for the best to let a mother believe her child was probably dead in a ditch somewhere.

“hey, shale, when we get to the surface, you could introduce me to her.”

You squeaked. “Nonono that’s not a good idea.” He was hurt by the vehemence in your tone. “She’s… well, she probably wouldn’t understand. I love her, but she’s not very accepting of a lot of things, unless she’s changed since then.” You thought for a moment. “I mean, I guess _anything_ ’s possible…”

You were afraid she’d hurt him? Was that it? He softened a bit, but it still stung. Then again, it’s not like he was any better. He could _totally_ introduce you to Gaster—or, well, what’s left of him—but that was probably a really bad idea. Seeing Gaster screwed with Sans’s mind, he could only imagine what it would do to you.

Perhaps he understood how you felt better than he’d originally thought.

“that’s okay, shale.” He said, and yet another [song ](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ)came on. You jolted and began laughing. “what?”

“Dude, seriously?!” You groaned.

“hey, i happen to like this song!” He argued.

“You _would_!” You protested. “This is like, a legendary human joke on the surface.” You explained, realizing that to him it was just a cheesy love song. “People send it to other people and it frustrates them. It’s like… how people get frustrated with puns but secretly love them… or like using the Comic Sans font.”

He swiveled to look at you. “what about using comic sans?”

You thought about it for a moment. “Holy shit, _no_.” You said. “You were _not_ named after a font.”

“so was paps.” He said. “named him myself.”

“Wait, so who named you?”

“my dad.” He said, giving you a look that made you feel stupid. “he said it started as a joke, but he forgot to change it.”

“Oh,” You thought again, “So wait, was he named after a—”

“yes he was. anyway, so what you’re saying is that my name is an internet meme?”

You chuckled. “No—?” You remembered. “Probably?”

He laughed. “and this song is…”

“A prank song.”

“huh… imagine that. knew i liked it for a reason.” He said mischievously, and you were aware that he was definitely going to use this new knowledge against you somehow.

He sang along to the chorus, and you were again shocked by his voice. With music behind him, he was a bit more confident, but still he was so quiet that you had to strain to hear him. When he noticed you listening so intently, he cranked up the volume again, to drown himself out.

The CD ended with that song, and he sighed. “i can’t work on this anymore tonight.” He said and draped his coat back over it. he slouched against the counter. “it would be so much easier if i could get some spare parts for it, but alphys won’t let me dismantle that flirty fucker.”

You stared at him wide-eyed. “Holy fuck, Sans, you really cranked it up a notch. I mean, it’s not like Paps is erm… _hacking_ him every night, or something. It was only that once, that I’m aware. Plus, they're both consenting adults.” He blanched. You were so fucking dense. Well, it worked in his favor. Or maybe he’d misinterpreted things and you didn’t see him that way. Maybe it was all just wishful thinking. Maybe you— “Sans, what’s this?”

You had found a picture on the floor. “fuck, i thought i picked that up.” He grumbled.

“What is this?” You repeated, and stared at it. It looked like a drawing—

He took it out of your hands. “shale, why are you so nosy?” He didn’t sound upset, just weary.

You put your hands up. “Sorry, I won’t look, then.”

He sighed and looked at the picture. “if i could redraw it, i wouldn’t mind showing it to you.” He said dismally. “but every time i try, it’s just worse. my hand starts shaking and i mess up.”

You wanted to ask, so very badly. Luckily, you didn’t have to.

“so i told you about my pops, right? he was the royal scientist. no one remembers him. all that.”

“Except for you.” You reminded yourself. “And sometimes Alphys.”

“yeah, but anyway…” He pointed to the figures. Two standing, tall, slender figures behind one larger, possibly kneeling figure with broad shoulders. They were all smiling, or appeared to be. The one he referred to first was a typical, if shakily drawn, skeleton, standing to the left of the kneeling figure. “that’s supposed to be him. gaster.” He pointed to the other tall figure. “that’s supposed to be grillby.” he sighed. “that’s sadly the best attempt at drawing him, though.” He snickered, and you smiled. His finger jabbed at the kneeling figure. “and asgore.” There was a coldness in his voice.

“Huh.” You said. “So—“

“dad had a painting in his lab of the three of them. it was just after the war, and…” He shrugged. “i don’t know that much. way back when, during the war, apparently grillby was the leader of the monster army forces and a tactician, and gaster was asgore’s little spymaster and researcher. dad told me that when they got down here, it was fine for a while. grillby headed the royal guard, but then quit. that was when he changed his name to grillby—dad never told me what his pre-war name was, and i never asked the guy… but he quit, told asgore he didn’t want to touch a weapon ever again if he could help it.”

“So he opened Grillby’s to get away from fighting?”

“i guess so. like i said, i don’t wanna ask. anyway, so when i asked dad about the people in the painting, he told me all of that about grillby, and told me that if i were ever in danger, i needed to find him. said that he’d keep me safe. but all he had to say about asgore was ‘stay away from him, or he’ll take you from me, too.’ and i never really understood that.” Sans was quiet for a while.

“It says don’t forget?” You asked, pointing to the writing just under Asgore’s poorly drawn figure. You wondered if he really was that huge.

“yeah…” He didn’t elaborate. “it does.”

He continued to stare at it for a while and then promptly turned away with it in his hand, shoving it into a drawer in the counter. He shut it and held it closed, as if worried it would open itself back up. You didn’t say anything, worried that just anything might send him into a panic. He took a deep breath and smiled back at you. “so, wanna see something _much_ better than that ugly piece of shit?” You didn’t have time to respond, he rummaged through another drawer, muttering in aggravation until he found what he was looking for with a triumphant noise. He pulled a photograph out and walked to you, holding it carefully. “so, remember how i told you about my d &d group on the surface? this is them.” He showed you the picture, and the first thing you did was pick him out of a crowd. He was wearing a hoodie that resembled the assassin’s creed coat, and his smile was very genuine. He pointed at others, telling you about them, or what he could remember of them, but you didn’t really hear it.

“You were _so high_.” You snickered pointing at him in the picture.

He stopped talking. Your silent chuckle became a snort and then a full-fledged laugh. You couldn’t continue your line of thought, because now you couldn’t breathe.

He sighed. “yeah, yeah i was.” He admitted. “slept better that night than ever before. slept so hard i woke up in snowdin again.” He sounded slightly bitter. He took a breath, and you met his gaze. It gentled. You’d seen this look before. Last time, though, you’d been rolling in garbage together, inches from each other’s faces. _No one else is looking right now_ , you thought somewhere in the far back of your mind. _You could just roll with it_. And you wanted to, on some level. You wanted to let him cross the space and—

You cleared your throat, blushing, and looked away. He seemed to come to himself with a snap, turning away from you to put the picture away. Your heart was hammering in your ears and you put your hands to your cheeks, feeling the cold of your fingers against your absolutely scorched cheeks. The silence did nothing to distract the fact that you were too aware of your breathing, your pulse, your temperature. You were tempted to ask him to turn the music back on, but remembered that the CD was almost entirely filled with 80’s love songs. That he could apparently sing. No, no, no… Gods, your face was even hotter now, and you were starting to panic.

“you okay?”

You nodded adamantly, still covering your face. “It’s… err… just hot in here.” It wasn’t a lie, you supposed. Well, anymore. It certainly felt hot in here now.

He didn’t say anything to dispute you, but you were still so tense. If you hadn’t done anything, would he have done it? Was it all in your imagination?

You both agree that it’s time to wind down for bed, as tomorrow would be hell on no sleep. Sitting side-by-side on the couch, you play until you are too tired to focus. You fell asleep before he did, somehow, slouching up against the arm-rest, legs curled toward the center of the couch. He mirrored your position, falling asleep peacefully, telling himself it was only because he was too lazy to move—and when that didn’t work, he told himself it was only because he was worried you’d have a nightmare—and when that didn’t work, he admitted he just wanted to be close to you. He really couldn't lie to himself.

You woke up the next morning and he was on his back, your legs draped over his, with one of yours hanging off the couch. You were in a half-sitting position that was seven kinds of uncomfortable, but you didn’t want to move. One of his hands rested just above your knee, nearly reaching the thigh-scars, which were clearly visible since your shorts had ridden up overnight. His other arm was detached and laying over the back of the couch, fingers splayed a few inches from your face.

You located your phone without jostling him, and looked at the time. You hissed and went to put your phone away. You heard him grumble, and he shifted in his sleep. You barely managed to not make a sound as his hand moved over your knee. His face, you noted, was so…

Oh, you needed a picture of this, if only because he was drooling in his sleep.

You just didn’t want to admit you found him adorable.

*CLICK* You forgot how loud your phone was. The noise of the camera made his eyes clench shut for a moment and then they drifted open languidly.

“Mornin, sleepyhead.” You muttered, feeling yourself blush.

He yawned. Blearily, he looked at his left shoulder, which was sans an arm. “where did—” He looked at the back of the couch and sighed. That was when he moved his other hand, presumably to reach for his discarded arm—and noticed where that hand had been laying. He gave you a horrified look. “shale—i’m so sorry.”

You shrugged. “Just don’t make a habit of it, or I’ll grab back.” You snickered, and to your pleasure, he turned the darkest shade you’d witnessed to date. You were tempted to continue torturing him, but you had a mighty need to stretch, and so stretch you did. You arched your back over the armrest, groaning as your back popped loudly. You supplemented it by popping your neck, as well, murmuring in pleasure from that, too.

For someone who hadn’t meant to torture him, you certainly had done just that. When you straightened up, wincing at the stiffness in your back, you saw him staring at you before he quickly looked away. Your eyes must have been bleary with sleep—you could have sworn you’d seen his pinpricks change into different shapes. Hearts? You scrubbed at your eyes and yawned. Carefully, you pulled yourself off the couch—off of his legs, and stood up, heading for the kitchen. “Breakfast?” You offered. Today would be a long day.

 

* * *

 

Indeed it was. Fitting was quite possibly the most hilarious thing you’d ever experienced.

“I was right. You look great in a tutu.” You told Sans.

“you too.” He growled sullenly.

You sighed and tugged on the tulle around your waist. “Enjoy it while it lasts, bonehead. I don’t wear this stuff unless held at knifepoint.”

“That can be arranged.” Muffet said wryly from behind you. “Rip it, and you’ll regret it.”

Alphys hugged you. “Thank you so much for doing this with me, Birdy!”

“Alphys, what is this, really?” You asked. “It’s not a prank, I know that.”

She looked away sheepishly. “Well, ummm…”

Sans spoke up. “according to the website—”

“Agh!” Alphys cried, snatching his phone away.

“Alphys… was this only an excuse to get Sans and I on stage together?”

She looked around, and when she saw that the three of you were alone, she sighed. “No, that’s not all it was. That was… just my c-cover story.”

“What?” You chuckled.

“Undyne and I are announcing our engagement.” She admitted reluctantly. Sans whistled.

“Congrats!” You said cheerfully. “But I don’t understand why we’re doing a concert?”

Sans grabbed your arm. “don’t ask about it, shale. they’re the only ones who’re supposed to know until the reveal.”

Alphys waved his concerns away. “It’s okay, Sans. Birdy will never know if no one tells them.” You looked between the two.

“I’m right here, still.” You said flatly.

“O-oh yeah.” She looked nervous. Sans turned away. “Well, when two monsters have been t-together for a while, and they start… uhmmm… _bonding_ … they throw the biggest party they possibly can to announce they’re no longer single. Undyne told me it d-didn’t matter to her, as long as I was happy… and we found those videos” she was forgetting to breathe again. “and-I-told-her-I-wanted-to-be-on-stage-but-I-was-afraid-so-she-said-she’d-do-it-but-she-couldn’t-so-Mettaton-”

“Slow down, Alphys!” You chuckled and pulled her into a hug. “So Sans and I were an afterthought? A bonus?”

“Yeah-no! NO!” She cried out, “We wanted you to be there, in any case!” She looked stricken. “ _Sans_ was an afterthought, though.”

“ouch.” He muttered numbly somewhere behind you.

Alphys gave you a smile and whispered. “Don’t tell him I’m joking, okay?”

You shook your head. “So, congrats. There had better be one hell of an afterparty, though.”

Everyone was in high spirits the day through, and Sans stuck close behind you throughout the day, especially when Mettaton was around. Whenever you two had a moment alone, he would softly sing to where no one but you could hear. “never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.”

“Goddammit, Sans!” You groaned after the fifth or sixth time he rick-rolled you. He laughed madly, and you realized this would be the new norm.

You were doomed. Pleasantly doomed.

The eighth time, you sung along.

 

* * *

 

The concert went without a hitch, though you frequently had to mentally slap yourself so you wouldn’t laugh at them sprinting around, imitating the young girls they were supposed to portray. It was much funnier in costume, considering they were both wearing anime pigtail wigs. If Sans in a tulle skirt wasn't odd enough, Sans in a pigtail wig was just surreal.

At the end of the performance, after the final bow, you, Sans, and Papyrus removed yourselves from the stage. Mettaton put a spotlight on Undyne and Alphys. Undyne tore the skeleton-mask off and scooped Alphys up, spinning her around and kissing her. The crowd went absolutely silent as Undyne and Alphys stood together, and Undyne spoke loud and clear, a look of concentration on her face. You remembered hearing from Papyrus that she had been reciting this thing for the past week under her breath—now you understood.

“Alphys.” Her face twisted up in panic for a moment, and she gave a hefty sigh. She leaned down and kissed Alphys full on, and there was a single loud “WHOOP!” From the crowd. When they separated, Alphys was almost entirely red and visibly shaking. Undyne spoke again, her voice no longer firm. “No amount of stuffy, poetic bullshit can say what I need to say right now. _I want you to be mine_.” The silence was deafening. “Please… be mine?”

Alphys was trying so hard to speak. The effort was palpable. Everyone hung on the silence, no one dared even cough.

In the end, words failed her. She let out a squeaky scream and flung herself at Undyne, sobbing with joy onto her shoulder as Undyne caught her. The cameras zoomed in, and everyone could see the sheen of tears on Undyne’s cheeks as well. Also, the resulting cacophony of cheers, screams, and all around hysteria was enough to make your ears ring for the next few days.

“shale?” You turned your head to look at Sans, and he looked worried. You opened your mouth to ask what was wrong, when his bony thumb brushed at your cheek, wiping away a tear. Your heart pounded heavily in your throat—and this time, you didn’t say anything. Both of you in skirts, having just performed until you were ready to drop, watching the most heart-rending proposal you’d ever seen, and now… this was perfect. _He_ was perfect. You wouldn’t deny this moment. You couldn’t.

That fell to Mettaton, who put the spotlight on the two of you. You were apparently still visible to the stage. The crowd made even more noise, which turned to protest when the two of you took a step away from each other. You retreated offstage, still feeling your pulse escalating from the realization that for the _second time_ you’d almost kissed your best friend.

You resolved to spend the night curled up in your own living room after a frigid shower.

 

* * *

 

The next morning, Papyrus came in for his shift and asked you to go tell Sans to quit listening to his music so loud. He had been kept up all night.

You texted Sans, and he was over almost immediately, a tired if excited grin on his face. You wanted to tease him—he’d told you before he wouldn’t be available after the show, but here he was—but decided there would be time for that later. You playfully scolded him for keeping Papyrus awake, and then invited yourself over to game. He sang that damned song to you twice before you told him to quit or you’d go climb another tree.

He’d agreed to quit… and then he started humming again. You groaned in agony. “Please don’t burn me out on that song!”

“i’m sorry shale… but you blush every time.” He laughed. True to form, your cheeks were hot—and now that he’d brought that to your attention, they were even hotter. “plus, i actually do like the song.”

You sighed and conceded. “Just try to go easy on it, huh?”

“nah. i’m making a version of it specifically for you. where i replace the lyrics with incidental puns about **meat juice** and **pizza initiative**.”

You threw the controller down, leaned over, and ripped his arm off. He stared at you as you brandished it at him. “Sans, I’m **armed** and will fucking murder you if you do that.”

He laughed and begged for his arm back, but you didn’t give in until he promised to not make the song worse.

You had to struggle to get the controller. Somehow, when you’d tossed it, it had bounced back under the couch. While you were fishing for it on your hands and knees, your phone started ringing. “Sans, could you get that?”

“uh, yeah, sure.” He said. He put the phone on speaker. “yo, alphys.”

“Sans, Birdy… We have a problem.”

“What?” You got up, forgetting about the controller. “What’s wrong? Did something happen between you and—”

“No, it’s worse.” She said, and your stomach flopped. Sans’s pinpricks disappeared. “The flower is gone. _Asgore_ … is gone!”

Sans looked at you, you at him. “we’ll be right there.” He finally said, voice low and dangerous.

As he clicked the phone off, you continued to stare at him. “Sans?” Because of that picture you’d seen, of Grillby, Gaster, and Asgore, you knew he didn’t trust or like the kingly monster. You didn’t know why, though—and his actions were starting to make you wonder if he’d been telling the truth when he’d said he didn’t know why Gaster didn’t like him.

You’d never seen him look like this before. He handed you the phone. “shale, until we find him, you stay near me at all times, okay?” He moved to turn and lead you through a shortcut.

“Sans, are you okay?” You grabbed his arm and pulled him to face you before he could start walking.

He closed his sockets in an attempt to hide his fear from you. “i’ve gotta keep you safe.” He said gently, and you realized it wasn’t just fear. He was filled with DETERMINATION.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading this far. This is your periodic reminder that the background fic exists, (http://archiveofourown.org/works/6545836/chapters/14975902), as does a tumblr specifically for my fics, if you want updates on how writing is going or want to spam me with comments (www.zaiyofics.tumblr.com).  
> Keep being awesome, guys!  
> ~Z


	20. How to PERSEVERE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING THIS CHAPTER IS WAY TOO LONG I'M SORRY. Hopefully this makes up for the wait?
> 
> You learn how to fight... and stuff.
> 
> Trigger warning for Violence, Weapons, War memories, and alcohol.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear to Ditty, guys, I meant to have this up much sooner... but I couldn't cut the chapter off where I was supposed to. It wasn't enough, it just wasn't. So HERE have a DOUBLE TWO-CHAPTERS-IN-ONE, as THANKS for all the support! I love you guys, here's to another 10+ chapters of fluff and angst!  
> Also, enjoy the references. If you catch them, do tell me in the comments! It will make me smile like an absolute fool all day ^.^

“explain.” Sans demanded, eyes coldly focused on Alphys. Undyne was pacing. She stopped when you and Sans appeared, giving you a look that worried you.

“It’s… well, we got b-back and I w-went to check and he was j-just gone. What do we do?” She looked at you pleadingly. “It happened last time, what if… what if he’s hurt? What if he’s scared? Oh God, Birdy, I shouldn’t have let you talk me into this!”

Sans looked at you and then back at Alphys. “calm down. we’ll find him one way or another. probably when we least expect to see him again.”

“Sans?” You reached out and touched his sleeve. He moved closer to you.

“until then, shale is to be watched over at all times. if asgore is unstable, we don’t know if he’d hurt them if he found them. if he can do what that little shit can do, as well, then were in for a fun time. he could literally be anywhere.”

You tugged at his sleeve and he turned to look at you. “Sans, why are you so afraid?”

His sockets went black. He blinked and the pupils were back. His eyes darted to Undyne.

The fish monster spoke now, loud in the sudden tension, but still uncharacteristically soft for her. “You think Asgore would hurt Birdy?”

Sans’s grim smile chilled you. “no doubt. especially if he’s unstable. we need to find him as soon as possible.”

Undyne nodded. Her voice was firmer, louder, this time. “In the meantime, Papyrus and I should start training Birdy.”

Sans looked down and sighed. “i don’t want to agree, but…”

“Guys, please don’t talk about me like I’m not here. I need to know what I’m up against. I’m my own person, okay? I deserve a say in what goes on.” Sans and Alphys flinched a bit, and you remembered they’d once planned to rip your soul away and use it to search for the other lost human souls. You sighed. Now was not the time to tread on eggshells.

Sans looked up at you, pinpricks sharp, brow knitted with worry. Now was also not the time to wonder what his face felt like when he emoted. “shale, i think you should start training. alphys, you should check all the footage of the underground you can find, see if you can see any sign of him. we can’t let anyone else know about this until after we find him.”

“What if he goes after Toriel?” Undyne asked quietly.

Sans took in a sharp breath. “dammit.” He scraped viciously at the back of his skull with his fingertips. You reached out to grab his arm, but stopped short when his gaze darted back to you. He must have noticed your expression, because he let go of his skull and gave you a reassuring smile. It didn’t reassure you much, but…

“we could ask her to oversee the lessons. after all, she’s versed in healing magic… so if there are any mess ups, shale will be as safe as they can be. also.” His gaze hardened, and you felt him looking into you—not at your soul, but his gaze was still piercing, as if he were trying to discern something he knew he couldn’t. “you need to learn how to use your magic offensively. or even defensively.” His gaze was still hard—and you realized it now. It was a forced strength. He was trying hard to not break down. “shale, you have to take this seriously, okay? even if there’s really no danger in this, you… you’re not allowed to get hurt.”

You felt your mouth quirk. “Not allowed?” You hitched your eyebrow, and his glare cracked. He closed his eyes, but you had seen it. He was trying not to panic. Undyne peered at Alphys and nodded to the door.

“Hey, Birdy, get some rest tonight, okay? We’re gonna work you so hard in the morning that you’ll be sore for three years!” She said as she and Alphys retreated to give the two of you some privacy.

When the door closed, you sighed and approached Sans. He was suddenly another yard away. “shale, just… give me a minute, okay?”

You nodded, even though you were sure he wouldn’t see, being as how his eyes were closed as well as downcast. You sat down on the floor, legs folded. You put a palm on each knee and closed your eyes. You took deep, steadying breaths, and when you opened your eyes, Sans was sitting, mirroring your pose and actions. You smiled gently at him. The two of you stayed that way for a while, before he finally spoke. “you always know what to do.”

You smiled wider. His eyes were still closed, you noted, but he was breathing steadily, and you chose your words carefully. You let your eyes close again, trying to appear restful. “I play it by ear, really. We just seem to handle stress the same way.” You admitted, keeping your tone even. It was your attempt to soothe him, and you could only guess that it was effective.

“you know.” It wasn’t a question.

“Vague?” You said.

“you know why i’m upset.”

“I can guess.” You said. “But I’d be lying if I said I was entirely confident on it.”

“i won’t have another chance to save you if you die. this is a one-way street.” He said, just as much explaining to you as he was reminding himself.

“Everything will be okay, Sans.”

“promise?” He whispered. You opened your eyes to see him peering at you beseechingly.

You bit your cheek. “We will work on this together.” You thought of something and snickered. His eyes flared a bit at the sound and he leaned forward. You sang a piece of a [song](https://youtu.be/smA1yWiZGX0?t=52). “We make a good team, me and you, we do. You can scratch my back… and I’ll scratch my back too.”

You were glad to see him smile a bit, and ignored that annoyingly painful tug in your chest. He sighed and relaxed. When he met your eyes again, there was a regretful shadow cast on him. “you always know what to do.” He repeated.

You blushed and averted your eyes. It was that expression again. Gentle, tired… fond. You ignored your hammering pulse and got up. “I could use a walk, couldn’t you?”

He shrugged. “i’d rather go work on your present.” He admitted. “if you wanna come too?”

You knew it was partially because he wanted to keep an eye on you in a place he could keep tightly controlled in the event Asgore showed up. You remembered your last visit to his lab and wondered if you’d be able to handle it. Nothing would be there to stop you from doing something stupid. You weren’t sure if _you_ would stop you from doing something stupid.

You mentally smacked yourself. You were in charge of your own body, you reminded yourself. Even though you’d been acting weird lately, didn’t mean anything. You were okay. You could do this. This was fine. “Sure.” You said, not sounding nearly as casual as you’d intended.

His eyes lit up a bit brighter, and you couldn’t help but be proud that you’d helped him feel better somehow. He got up and together you walked out the door, appearing in his lab immediately. He passed you a small booklet of CDs and nodded to the small boombox. “guest’s choice.”

You flipped through the CDs eagerly, excitement bubbling so strongly that you didn’t see how satisfied he was with your reaction. He had successfully distracted you from looking at your present, as he’d forgotten to cover it. He secretly applauded his sneakiness.

“so, uh…” He felt the need to say something. “have you checked out the website, yet?”

“Actually, I forgot all about it.” You laughed. “Weird, huh? Why, did you check it out?”

He turned away so you couldn’t see his blush. “yeah, it’s not worth checking.”

“Huh. Alright. I’ll take your word for it.”

He internally sighed in relief.

The rest of the evening passed in peace, with the music playing softly. You had found a mix of less-than-lovey music, and were thoroughly enjoying it, though you admitted you’d never heard half of it before.

“So how is this going to work?” You asked at last. He looked up from the project to meet your eyes, but you were turned away, respecting his desire to keep the gift a surprise.

“what?”

“Well, you said you want someone with me at all times. Does that mean I need Undyne to sleep over at my place, or what?”

 _lucky undyne._ Sans groused to himself. “naw, you can crash at our place. after all, the best training spot according to paps is right here in snowdin, so it’ll be less of a walk. here in a while, i’ll take you home so you can pick up some stuff you’ll need.” After a moment he sighed and covered the project with his coat. “come to think of it, how about we do that now. i… uh, need to figure something out while you do that. will you be safe for five minutes?”

You smiled. “I think I can manage.” You tried to look as bitterly sarcastic as you could. “I’ll probably die from stubbing my toe the moment you look away.”

“not funny.” He grumbled, looking down. “let’s make this quick, okay?”

He left you in your house, and felt a bit embarrassed that he’d taken the shortcut directly to your room. He was familiar enough with it, since he’d spent hours sitting there watching over you until your fever broke. The room had a hum to it, feeling like your magic. Even through the slight mustiness of the ruins, the room smelled of you.

“i’ll be back soon, okay?” He said and hurriedly departed before you could see him. In his room, he touched his face with his shaking hands. He sighed heavily. “god, can’t i just go back to not caring? it was so much less work.” It was an empty complaint. He was smiling so hard that it almost hurt—and that smile was directly tethered to that heavy but pleasant feeling in his soul.

He looked around his room and began to hurriedly clean it up. Papyrus had left another onion in here, and Sans was thankful. He was nervous that his room was gross, but maybe it wouldn’t be too bad, with that thing absorbing the bad smells. He threw all the clothes into a basket and went to start a load of laundry.

 **shale**  
_Hey, I’m ready._

He swore under his breath. Your efficiency might be the death of him.

 **you**  
_be there in a minute. doin laundry._

He hurriedly stuffed the last of the socks into the washer and closed the front-opening door before any of them could tumble back out.

 **shale**  
_Having fun?_

He smiled when the idea came to him.

 **you**  
_“loads.” heh._

He checked his room one more time, satisfied that it didn’t smell terrible, especially with all the dirty socks out. He didn’t bother with the little dirt cyclone. That in itself would take way too much time to fix, and he personally liked the sound when he slept.

He teleported to your living room and called out for you. You came out of your room with a bag of clothes and bottles of shower amenities. He rubbed at the back of his head again, diverting his eyes away from you. Anything to not see that happy, excited smile on your face. There was only so much he could stare before you’d ask questions.

Back in his living room, you deposited your bag next to the couch and sat down with a languid sigh. “So, should we enjoy gaming until tonight? Or did you want to work on that a little longer?” He shrugged and sat down next to you.

“could use a nap.” He said.

You chuckled. “Alright, but I was going to play Okami. You’ll miss out on funny things.” You taunted him.

“music will put me to sleep.”

You sighed in mock aggravation. An idea came to you and you hid your grin. “How about you play, then?”

“nah.”

“Please? Just for a while?”

Grumbling, he took the controller and began sprinting around the overworld. He got the hang of the game surprisingly fast, even figuring out the tricks to evading attacks. He played around with the brush-mechanic for a while, drawing a moustache on the wolf at one point. He made dog puns a lot. You had your phone out, shooting Alphys a quick text, asking her if she could burn a CD for you, or otherwise help you with your newfound plan. Finally, you tucked your phone away and guided him through the game—he didn’t complain about continuing to play, and the two of you had fun. You knew where most of the secrets were, but knew that to 100% the game, you’d need a save feature as well as help from the internet to find the secret collectables. You were still stewing over that when Papyrus came home from the Ruins.

He was already aware that tomorrow morning, both he and Undyne would be excused from their regular jobs to train you. He was immensely excited about it, to say the least. He began humming in the kitchen while he animatedly cooked, dancing about from place to place. You laughed despite yourself, and Sans leaned closer. “so last week, i went to a dance club. they played the twist, so i did the twist. they played jump, so i jumped. they played come on eileen… and i got kicked out.”

You burst into hysterical laughter and shoved him. “Dude, gross.” You elbowed him, still laughing too hard to be taken seriously. “Wait…” You thought about it for a second. “Is that… even possible?”

He facepalmed.

“I did not just ask that.”

“ya did.”

“I’m sorry. Let’s go back to playing the game.”

He chuckled and obliged you, to your relief. The rest of the day went by relatively smoothly… you were glad Papyrus hadn’t overheard you questioning Sans about the presence of… The undernet would likely never recover, if your assumption was correct.

As to that, you were not really fooled. Sans saying it wasn’t worth looking at told you that it was _more_ than worth looking at. It tempted you further into checking it, but you held off. What was the harm in waiting a few more days? It would still be just as embarrassing.

After dinner, the three of you played SSX again, and you found that they indeed could beat you at your own game. Had they been practicing somehow? You got frustrated, honestly, and the brothers found it hilarious. At some point, you fell asleep on the couch, contorted into some weird and likely very uncomfortable position.

Sans prodded Papyrus’s shoulder and pointed to you, putting a finger to his teeth. Papyrus nodded and moved aside. He wanted to ask questions so badly, but knew that his voice would wake you up. Sans very carefully scooped his arms under your knees and back, hoisting you up without struggling, and began to walk, taking a shortcut into his room. You didn’t stir much. You were gracelessly asleep, ragdolling in his arms, mouth open. He felt like he could tease you about it, but decided against it.

It made him wonder if it was because you felt safe.

He deposited you onto his bed and looked around for a blanket—he’d forgotten to check the laundry! With a sigh, he took a shortcut to the lab, grabbed his coat, and then headed back to drape it over you. It would work until he could grab a spare blanket from the closet. He went to get one, and when he came back, you were holding his jacket bundled in your arms like a body pillow, snuggling into it.

He sighed, rubbing his metacarpals into his sockets. If it didn’t feel inherently creepy to take pictures of you while you were asleep—on his bed, no less—he would have. You looked so peaceful, and he heard one of those tiny melodic murmurs that made his ribs hum. He covered you up and then left to tell Papyrus what he was going to insist on knowing.

“SANS, WHY IS THE HUMAN IN YOUR ROOM?”

“they’re gonna be training hard, aren’t they? need some good rest.”

Papyrus narrowed his sockets at Sans. “DID YOU AT LEAST CLEAN IT UP?”

Sans shrugged and didn’t answer, “time for bed, bro.”

Papyrus sighed dramatically. Sans grumbled internally that his brother was spending too much time with Mettaton lately. After reading Papyrus his bedtime story, Sans collapsed on the couch again, falling asleep almost immediately.

* * *

Undyne woke the entire house by damn-near breaking the door off the hinges. Sans, not used to waking up so abruptly in that location, used his magic to throw an entire end table at Undyne, who batted it out of the way almost casually, and proceeded upstairs to wake you up.

What a wakeup call. You were up and grabbing the nearest potential weapon you could find in your dazed stupor. It was a lamp, you realized when your eyes focused. The door opened and Undyne came through. She lifted you and threw you over her shoulder. “UNDYNE, PLEASE LET ME GET MY COAT!” You cried out, voice cracking with every painful step down the stairs. She was flying down them three at a time. You were convinced these would be your last moments.

She must not have heard you. She had sprinted out the still-open door into the falling snow, continuing full-tilt out to the small clearing near the entrance of Waterfall. She dumped you into the snow, and you sat there in shock, wearing a tank top and cargo pants—you’d fallen asleep before you could change into pajamas. You didn’t even have your boots on. Undyne noticed this now, and gave you an apologetic look. Sans appeared next to you, handed you dry socks and your combat boots. You put them on as quickly as you could, and then stood up, dusting the snow off of your butt and back. When you turned back to Sans, he handed you his jacket.

When you took it, he winked and disappeared. You groaned in frustration and turned back to Undyne, who looked very pleased with herself. You simply glared at her for a moment, and then suddenly there were three spears flying at you from different directions. With a cry of “HOLY SHIT!” you dodged them the best you could. At first, you thought you had been successful, but then you felt a sensation similar to a paper cut on your right calf, as well as one on your right hip. The first of many to come, you thought grimly.

“Alright, now that you’re awake!” She bellowed, and you realized both of her eyes were uncovered. Her normally hidden eye, in all of its glowing, unique glory, raked your form, looking for injuries. She was pleased to note you were still in one piece. You heard panting behind you, and turned to see Toriel and Papyrus heading toward you.

Ah, the fun was about to begin, you groused to yourself. “Can we start out a little slower?” You asked grumpily.

She laughed. “You want slower?” She produced a shield with her magic and thrust it at you, and you hooked it onto your arm grudgingly. “Papyrus, are you ready?!” She cried, and the skeleton in question jogged forward, brandishing a staff-length bone. Undyne produced a blue spear and held it at the ready.

“You guys realize I’m the odd one out, here, right?” You reminded them, tapping the phantasmal shield.

“HUMAN, DO NOT MOVE. I AM GOING TO SURROUND YOUR FEET IN BLUE BONES. IF YOU MOVE WHILE THEY TOUCH YOU, IT WILL HARM YOU.”

“Then how am I going to dodge?!”

Undyne bellowed sternly at you. “You are going to block the spears! Stand steadfast and block them!”

This was not going to be a fun day.

You did mistakenly move your feet once or twice, mostly to avoid falling, from the force of the spears hitting the shield. You had a feeling that the nicks and bruises you could feel forming on your ankles and feet were much better than being impaled on the damn things. It was a tolerable pain, you told yourself. Mind over matter. Staying upright was more important than your danger-sensors telling you falsely that you were going to die.

The bones and the shield disappeared when it seemed you had figured out how to adequately block. You hadn’t been ready for it, and stood helplessly as bones and spears suddenly began to fly at you from all directions. They certainly didn’t believe in starting slow, you noted with no small amount of worry. Your shock wore off too late. Almost every projectile hit you, but you had definitely felt worse hits from an errant coffee table attacking your shins.

You gave them a disbelieving look. Suddenly, a voice beside you made you jump and squeak. “they’re not going to really hurt you. they have no intent to kill you. it’s the one similarity between human and monster magic. intention is the ruling force. without it, it’s just energy.”

You nodded. “Yeah, but this is the first time I’ve encountered magic like this.”

He shrugged. “you handle it well.”

You huffed and stood ready for the next attack. Undyne and Papyrus appeared to be rehashing another strategy while Sans was talking with you. “Guess I’m just used to handling intent.”

He didn’t answer, but you could feel the snapping energy of his anger. Like electricity lapping at the frigid air. “be ready. the fog will come in soon. be glad they didn’t wait till then to start. yell if you need me. or if you’re dying.” At first you thought he was joking, but Undyne and Papyrus quit talking, and turned back to you, both looking intimidatingly bloodthirsty. You hoped it was only for show, as you stood, shivering in antici…

There was the first spear. You dodged it effortlessly, and were caught full on by a bone to the face. You yelled out a string of profanities as you fell to the ground. Undyne was impressed with your inventiveness.

…pation.

Toriel came in to check on you, but it hadn’t done any real damage. The next few hours went much the same, and then Sans came by, grabbed you, and suddenly you were in Hotland. By this point, his jacket was tied around your hips, and you were glad of it, otherwise you’d probably be burning alive by this point.

“hey, you look a bit worn to the **bone** so i thought i’d treat you to lunch.”

You grinned. It was a relief to hear him joke around again, especially since the only jokes he’d made lately were heavy on innuendo. “Sounds good, bonehead.” It was also much easier to ignore that growing feeling in your stomach and chest, that dizzying sensation, when you could pretend this was as deep as it went.

A memory harkened to you. Back when you’d first fallen, Undyne had told you she didn’t give enough of a shit to lie—you could understand now. When you cared about the consequences so much, lying became as easy as breathing. For days, maybe weeks, you’d been lying not just to him but to yourself. But you weren’t entirely ready to fully admit it, not ready to change it.

A teenaged flame monster stood behind the counter, and waved to Sans, who raised a hand lazily in greeting. He chatted the fire monster up while he prepared your hotdog. Next, you and Sans were in front of Alphys’s fridge, and Sans pulled out a ramune, opened it, and passed it to you. Then he leaned around, looked at Alphys, who was still studying footage, looking for the missing sentient flower.

“I’ll b-be done here in a f-few minutes, I think.” She said. “N-no luck so far.”

“When you’re done, you should join us in Snowdin, watch me make an ass of myself.” You said dismally.

“shale, you’re doin' great. certainly know how to take a hit, intent to kill notwithstanding.”

“I had plenty of practice.” You reminded him bitterly. Less harshly, you added. “I should be better at dodging. I mean… struggling away from him made dodging necessary sometimes. I don’t care how long it’s been, it should still be muscle memory, you know?”

He was quiet for a while. “yeah.” he rubbed at the spot between your shoulder blades, and you hissed. There was a bruise there, already. Despite that, his touch was welcome. It calmed you, especially since you could almost feel a similar feeling coming from him. “maybe i should train too.” He said, and you gave him an incredulous look, brow raised. “i could, you know.” He asserted. “it would get them to lay off you for a while.”

You remembered his quick reflexes, and Undyne’s assurance so long ago that he would be easy to kill, as she’d only have to hit him once. You shivered. “Nah, I’m good.” His brow creased and he stared up at you, pinpricks dulled. Your phone rang, and you answered it with no small amount of aggravation. “Yes, Undyne?”

“PUNK! Get back here, so we can move onto the next step!”

That sounded terrible. “Lemme finish eating.” You snapped. “And I’ll be over there so you guys can ground me back into the mud.”

It was true. You’d fallen and been pushed down so much that the snow was partially gone in the area, and you had been sliding around and falling just from the frozen mud robbing you of traction. That reminded you. “Oh, Alphys, I’m sorry. I’ll clean all this mud off your floor.”

She gave you a look of concern. That was when you noticed you hadn’t tracked mud into her lab after all. It seemed to have cleared from your boots at some point before arrival here, though it was dried to your clothes and skin pretty badly. “Agh, your jacket.” You lamented to Sans. “I’m sorry.”

He shrugged. “i don’t need it right now.”

The two of you stood and you ate the hotdog, feeling the energy supplement your body in healing yourself. “So, Alphys. How did you get all of this ramune, anyway?”

“I f-formulated it based on the case we f-found. I can make as m-much as I need to.”

You smiled. “So, it’s monster-made.”

“Yeah. The surface variety made me s-sick.” She said. “So I made it from stuff I knew wouldn’t hurt anyone.”

“It’s pretty good, you know. When we get topside, you could sell the recipe, probably, or mass-make it, maybe. Think of all the people with allergies who would be able to enjoy monster food without dying…” You chugged the rest of the carbonated drink, sighing in bliss afterward. “Speaking of which, what is the meat made of here?”

She shrugged. “I don’t make it, so I d-don’t know. I mean, i-it’s synthetic, I know that.”

That explained a bit. “Wait, so you’re all vegetarian? No wonder I feel healthier than when I was on the surface, despite eating so much grease.”

Sans smiled at you, but you could see the worry on his face. “you gonna make it, shale?” You realized your legs were shaking.

You nodded hesitantly. “I’ll have to be.”

The need to be prepared, so he wouldn’t need to look so scared… You would PERSEVERE!

* * *

When the two of you returned to the clearing, your legs had quit shaking. The energy from the monster food had almost completely recovered you, but you had a feeling you would sleep better tonight than ever before.

Standing before Undyne and Papyrus, you prepared yourself, but they didn’t immediately launch into attack. They were talking animatedly, and Toriel was in on it, nodding reluctantly. A crowd had gathered, to your dismay. Sans looked up at you, saw your unease, and started speaking—but Undyne yelled over the top of him, and you couldn’t make out what he said.

“ALRIGHT PUNK, it’s time to move on!” She screamed at you, despite you being close enough to hear her at normal volume. “You will dodge our attacks as usual, but you will also attack us!”

“What?!”

She didn’t like your challenge. “I SAID YOU WILL ATTACK US!”

Papyrus nodded solemnly. “DO NOT WORRY, HUMAN, WE CAN TAKE A HIT JUST AS WELL AS YOU!”

You didn’t doubt it, but—“Human attacks are different from monster attacks. Even if we have no intent to kill, we can still do it.” You said. “Plus, we can’t be sure that I’m not somehow more dangerous, since I have magic. I will _not_ risk something that can’t be undone!”

“shale has a good point.” Sans pointed out. “you should incorporate their magic as an attack.” He glanced at you hesitantly. “magic-inflicted wounds heal much easier than physical ones, anyway.”

You stared at him as if he were insane, but everyone else agreed. The ever-growing crowd started chanting for you to use your magic, and you felt your legs shake again from the pressure. Finally you screamed at them, “I don’t know how to use it for fighting! I don’t know how to summon weapons!”

Undyne motioned for the crowd to quiet down, and they did quickly.

“what kinda weapon would you use, shale?” Sans asked at your side, his voice calm and low.

You shrugged. “I don’t _want_ to use a weapon, Sans. I don’t want to do this.”

He sighed. “i promise they won’t die. especially if this isn’t what you want.” He said. “i know it’s bad, but…”

“Yeah, you just want me to be safe.” You said. “I know… and I appreciate that. Okay?” you sighed and thought for a moment. “Just… I don’t know. Something easy to handle?”

He nodded thoughtfully and motioned for your hand. You held it out, and his eye began to glow blue. The crowd went quiet as Sans began to visibly concentrate, and then suddenly, there was weight in your palm, and you grasped the hilt of a one-handed bone-sword about as long as your arm. You almost dropped it. You shot Sans an inquisitive glance.

“is it too big?” He was genuinely concerned. You heard a titter from your audience, and both yours and Sans’s faces were painted with your embarrassment as your minds descended into the gutter with a swiftness one could only applaud.

You couldn’t manage to lift the sword comfortably with one hand. It wasn’t too big, per say, it was just… unfamiliar, ungainly. It made you afraid. You turned to the crowd and told them roughly to shut up. Undyne and Papyrus were talking again.

“Sans, can’t you make them a spear, or staff or… something we know how to use?” Undyne griped. “I mean, I know how to hold one, but that’s about it.”

She stepped forward, took the sword from you and then made you grip it differently. It was a little easier to hold, now—but it still made you uneasy.

“THEY ARE GOING TO END UP HURTING THEMSELF. THIS IS NOT A GOOD IDEA.” Papyrus stated, sounding more anxious than you’d ever heard.

“I’ll be fine.” You assured him, but you were very unsure of yourself. So unsure, in fact, that it only made everyone in earshot even more nervous.

Undyne growled and said, “Birdy, why don’t you use your magic to change it into a spear?”

Sans looked indignant, but you couldn’t imagine why. “I mean, I guess I could try.” You said.

“undyne.” Sans spoke low.

She glared at the skeleton and then looked back to you. “Just focus your magic into it and it’ll take its own shape. Don’t try to force it, I guess.” She glared harder at Sans. “Happy?”

He nodded. “you got this, shale.” He told you and stepped back. Undyne did as well. You felt naked, watched by everyone in the deafening silence, but you reminded yourself it was no different than performing. Smiling at that idea, you focused your energy into the sword in your hand, just like you would do with your phone or the speaker Alphys built you. It was almost calming how familiar that action was.

Sans moved closer, and you glanced at him to see him staring at the weapon in fascination. It glowed, shimmered, became light blue for a moment, and then the shade deepened to a rich, vibrant violet. “Huh.” You murmured softly enough that only he could hear. “My magic and your magic blend well, don’t they? Is that normal?”

He didn’t answer, and you felt that maybe that was answer enough. So, then, why did yours and his magic flow together until they were nearly inseparable? You thought while you turned the sword about, looking at it from different angles.

Maybe it was because his magic was what seemed to have awakened your powers. It would make sense, right?

“maybe we just work well together... as a team.” He responded at last.

You looked up at Undyne and Papyrus, who were also staring at the sword as if it were something alien. Well, it did look pretty badass, now, if you did say so yourself. The blade was curved, and much lighter in your grip now. The purple swirled into cobalt toward the hilt, and a cross guard had materialized over the back of your hand, spikes of what looked like light blue ice jutting off of it.

You reached to touch the spikes, but Sans grabbed your hand. “don’t do that. it’ll hurt you.”

“No, I’ll be careful.” You assured him.

“shale, it’s blue magic. if you move when it touches you, it hurts you.”

You pressed your lips into a thin line and then nodded. “Noted. Thanks.” You didn’t reach for it again, and he released your hand. “So, do all colors have some kind of meaning?”

He nodded. “most of them just keep your enemy from moving around too much.”

“Huh. Makes sense.” You looked up at Undyne again, and she pulled at her spear. “I guess I’m ready?”

Papyrus fidgeted. Undyne looked unsure of herself.

“Guys, what? What’s wrong? Do I have something on my face?”

There was a groan from the crowd, and monsters parted for Grillby to pass. He rolled his sleeves up over his forearms, and shook his head despairingly. Undyne and Papyrus stood straighter as the fire monster approached. “I know a thing or two about swords, and if you continue this way, Shale, you will end up running yourself through and then not being able to move from it.” He sighed. “So let us avoid such an event.”

“Listen, Grillby, I respect you, but we’re training them.” Undyne said.

Grillby chuckled gently and patted Undyne’s shoulder. She didn’t relax. “I understand, Undyne, but you said it yourself. Neither you nor Papyrus are familiar with swords. I have wielded them, and had them wielded against me. If you are intent on Shale knowing how to use their magic and the weapon they obviously resonate with, you will allow them to learn from me.”

You spoke. “Grillby, are you okay with that?”

He looked at you as if he’d forgotten you were there. “What do you mean?”

“You… don’t fight anymore, right? Will it make you uncomfortable to…”

He shook his head again. “Shale, that is of no consequence. Simply because I haven’t held a weapon in my hands in well over four hundred years does not mean I am incapable of doing so.” He approached you and looked the sword over carefully. You could hear the smile in his voice. “It’s worth getting a closer look, in any case.” You could tell he was staring in Sans’s direction, and you looked at the skeleton to see his face turn stark blue.

“So where do we start?” You asked. 

Papyrus tapped Grillby on the shoulder. “EXCUSE ME, GRILLBY, BUT… MAY WE STILL FIGHT THEM, OR ARE WE TO SIT THIS OUT WHILE YOU TRAIN THEM?”

“I aim to teach them how to use the weapon before you and Undyne interact with them. I don’t want Shale to develop bad habits. I must instill a proper knowledge so that a smoother technique can be developed by them.” He looked at you and untied his bowtie. He unbuttoned the top few buttons of his shirt and took off his glasses. He tossed them to Sans, who caught them with his reflexes but was staring at Grillby in shock. As were you.

As were everyone in the clearing that was suddenly too quiet again.

But Grillby wasn’t done yet. He touched his palms together, and when he slowly separated them, there was a thin thread of fire connecting them, which burned brighter, white-hot. It grew thicker, and took form as he removed his hands only to grip at the hilt with his left hand. It was a single-hand sword, double-edged, plain, but blindingly beautiful all the same.

“Mettaton would love this. All the ass he can't have in one picture.” You heard Undyne mutter. She pulled out her phone and began filming. Grillby sighed in disappointment, and elegantly strode toward you. With the weapon in hand, he had suddenly become a creature almost fluid. This was a man who was suddenly back in his element despite his utter refusal to admit it. This was a man who in spite of his hatred for his past, had obviously kept his own edge sharp in the hopes to never be unprepared. This was a man who knew what being unprepared meant.

And he was standing in front of the epitome of “unprepared.”

He grabbed your arm and began to move your body into a stance that was actually effective. He squeezed your arm reassuringly when you locked up. “I have no intention of killing you, my friend.” You wanted to reassure him that you weren’t afraid of him, but… the way the white-hot flames of his sword licked at his arm, the shade dancing up all the way to his shoulder… It was intimidating. “Rest assured. When I was head of the Royal Guard in my youth, I taught many monsters the sword.” You nodded and let him guide you into the stance he desired. He stepped back and mirrored you. “Observe how I move, and follow my lead.” He ordered firmly, though his voice was still calm and relatively soft.

The next few hours went by with Grillby semi-constantly correcting your stance. Eventually, he got into teaching you more than footwork, but only because Undyne had screeched that she was bored.

Eventually, your exhaustion caught up to you, and Grillby told you to rest for the evening. Undyne protested that she and Papyrus hadn’t even gotten to test you, but Grillby laughed, produced a second sword, and told them if they were that eager for a fight, he’d take them both on. Undyne tossed her still-filming phone to Sans, who caught it in his hand that wasn’t still holding Grillby’s glasses.

You stood next to Sans as the three monsters began their dance—at least that’s what it began to look like. The way they all moved made it look like choreography that Mettaton would be envious of—and whispered to him. “How do I unsummon the weapon?” It had grown heavy in your exhaustion, and you were done for the day, anyway.

“release your magic.” He said.

“What do you mean, release it?”

He sighed. “uhhh… dematerialize it?”

“Sans, I don’t understand.”

He reached out and touched the butt of the blade. “dissolve it. i’ll dissolve my part of it, too. that should make it easier.”

You watched as the sword began to morph under his hand, and you felt it become unsteady as your pent up energy was suddenly not structured. You reacted without thought, pushing Sans away and letting out a yell, forcing energy around the expanding and unstructured magic. You and Sans stared at the purple bubble around the shards of magic. “That’s going to explode.” You said shakily.

“rescind your magic, then. if you can’t dissolve it, absorb it.” He said.

You stared at him as if he were crazy. “Do you _want_ me to die?”

He flinched. “no.”

Your sword-bearing hand was free now, at least. You reached out, and touched the bubble. It felt solid, as if it were made of stone.

“so you can use purple magic. that’s an odd way of using it.” He said. “i thought the sword was purple just because we were both using magic. didn’t know yours was purple to begin with.” He scraped at the back of his skull, brows knitted. “i don’t think i’ll ever understand your soul, shale.”

You let out a snort of laughter and tried to concentrate on the magic inside the bubble. You tried to break it down, but it was difficult. “Maybe that’s a good thing. You’ll get bored if you figure me out.”

“never.” He disagreed roughly.

As Papyrus would say, you had become like a tomato again.

The camera in Sans’s hand caught the entire conversation, as well as the battle between the three warriors. Unbeknownst to either of you, it was streaming directly to the website.

When you looked over at the fight, you saw Grillby had pinned Undyne to the ground with his swords crossed over her neck, pinning her. He had summoned yet another sword and was effectively wearing Papyrus down. You couldn’t be surprised, really, but it didn’t take away the awe. “Glad he’s on our side.” You whispered to Sans.

He agreed, and you tried to focus on your problem. “On the bright side, we might know how to make a bomb from my unstable magic, huh?”

He laughed. “i think actual bombs would be safer.”

Grillby caught Papyrus’s bone-staff with his bare hand, wrenching it from the skeleton’s grasp and tossing it away. Before Papyrus could summon another one, Grillby grappled him with one arm, throwing him over his hip, steamrolling him into the ground. When Papyrus tried to get up, he found Grillby’s blade an inch from his neck.

“christ on a crutch.” Sans breathed. Papyrus nodded to Grillby, and the flame monster got up, all three swords disappearing as if they’d been mere illusions. He helped Papyrus up, and then went to check on Undyne, whose pride was definitely injured.

“We need to do this more often. I must have gotten soft!” She brayed.

Grillby shook his head. “I don’t like the idea of this being a frequent event. I will train Shale, and you can learn from that as well, but I do not enjoy fighting.”

Undyne opened her mouth to protest. It had been obvious that he’d felt _something_ during that sparring match. She knew that she didn’t want to piss him off, though. If that was what he fought like when he was just playing around, she began to wonder if she would want to see what would happen if he were serious. “I can respect that.” She said at last. “Sans, give me my phone back!”

Papyrus was covered in sweat, and you asked yourself how that was possible. “HUMAN! YOU SEEM TO BE IN MORE THAN CAPABLE HANDS. I AM RELIEVED.” He fanned himself. “WOWIE, I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO BE BEHEADED FOR A MOMENT.” He fell backwards into the snow and sighed.

Sans jolted next to you, but no one seemed to notice but you. No one was looking, so you slipped your hand into his and squeezed it. You heard him resume breathing, and you smiled. If this was all it took to remind him that all of that was over, you would do it a million times. However, you had other, more selfish, motives. You didn’t want to admit that you felt safer when the two of you were closer.

You turned your attention forcibly back to the energy and it finally began to break under your concentration. You finally released the bubble and sighed in relief.

Undyne was too busy staring at her phone and cheering like a buffoon to notice anything else going on. Toriel, along with the majority of the crowd, was going home. She waved to you, and you waved back warmly.

Grillby was buttoning his shirt back up, and pulled his sleeves over his forearms again. He nodded to you and Sans. “Please, join me for a drink.” He took his glasses back from Sans. You and Sans traded glances, and your hands separated reluctantly. If Grillby had noticed, he said nothing. He just led the two of you to the bar while the remainder of the crowd spoke animatedly, definitely sated on action, if nothing else.

The three of you sat at the bar. You apologized that you were still covered in mud and he’d have to clean up after you, but he waved it off. He poured three shots, two of the human-style brew and one in a shocking shade of magenta that he threw back without hesitation, his fire hissing, followed by a vocal hiss of regret. You chuckled and threw yours back. Sans looked reluctant, but finally took his as well.

He poured another round for all and gestured to the two of you. “As pleased as I am to have such lovely company tonight, this isn’t a social call. I need to talk to the two of you about something of the utmost importance.”

Your shot froze a few inches from your face. “Huh? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, per say.” He assured you. He looked at Sans, who morosely knocked back the shot. “At least _one_ of you knows what this is about.” He grumbled, his flames crackling with ire.

“The sass is strong with this one.” You joked, but the only person other than you who would get the reference was deep in thought now.

“grillbz, it’s not like that.” He said.

“Are you sure?” Grillby prodded.

“we haven’t… uh…” Sans looked at you. “seriously, we haven’t.”

Grillby put his face in his palm. “You really think that’s the _only_ way to do it?”

Sans made a noise of discomfort. “i’m not **rib** bin’ you, grillbz, this is not a comfortable topic.”

You cut in to divert the conversation. “Umm, Grillby, I need to ask you something serious before we all get plastered and talk about the birds and the bees.”

He chuckled and gestured for you to go on.

“Well, does… it bother you that you’re teaching a human how to fight?”

He was silent for a while, and you held your breath, praying to whatever would listen that you hadn’t just said something terrible.

At last, you heard him speak, his voice even, controlled. Uneasily controlled, but he was stable. “You’re less human than I, Shale. I trust you. If you were… truly human, you would have killed us by now.”

“Grillby?” He was downcast now, eyes staring into his shot glass. His fingers flexed, and after a moment you realized he would usually be wiping down glasses. He clenched his fingers into a fist and shook his head. “Grillby, what do you mean?”

“Shale… when I fought in the war, I showed no mercy. I was no better than the humans who cut down my soldiers. My _friends_.” His voice never wavered. “Every enemy I’ve felled is a part of me. I have to live with that—that I hold the essence of humans… I hold their rage, their blinding hatred… for me.”

“that’s not how it works, grillby.” Sans said.

“That doesn’t matter. Even if I hadn’t committed such a **l** evel **o** f **v** iolence… Sans, I’m afraid I’ll lose control like a human.” His flames flickered higher, and he had to rein himself in. “Every time I lose my temper, I feel less like myself. I train every morning… meditate every night. Nothing helps.”

What a _lovely_ job you’d done of changing the subject. You grit your teeth, hating yourself for bringing Grillby down this absolutely _ecstatic_ train of thought.

Grillby looked up at you now, and his gaze brought you to attention. He spoke low. “Do not worry, Shale. I _insist_ upon continuing your lessons until swordplay comes naturally to you—however…” he straightened up, his gaze hardening as he crammed his emotions down into whatever pit he normally stored them in. “That brings me back to our original topic.”

“please, grillby, no.” Sans groaned.

“Sans, how are you able to combine your magic with theirs so well?”

“it’s normal.” He said. “nothing weird about it. don’t make it weird.”

“That’s _not_ normal, Sans!” He argued.

“you don’t know that!” Sans shot back.

“From all the times I’ve seen humans battle, yes, I do! It’s not normal. Do you understand why it is happening?” You and Sans were quiet. Finally, Grillby took the silence as permission to forge on ahead. “Centuries ago, during the war, there were human defectors who fell in with monsters. We took to them, hoping perhaps it would allow us an edge, or perhaps that we could make peace.” He made a noise that frightened you, sounding like a raging blaze. You realized he was growling. “They eventually turn-coated on us. I don’t know what we expected… In any case, human mages received the brunt of their powers by intimate interactions with monsters.”

He let this information sink in. “In an effort of peace, there were monsters who were willing to bond with these humans, if only to make them strong enough to fight with us. What the two of you have is not like that. Wartime Bonds were empty, hollow promises. The ghost of true power… the ghost of emotion and intention.” He looked lost in thought for a moment again, and poured himself another shot only to take a heavy drink directly from the bottle after another moment’s thought.

“No, what the two of you have is something different. Sans, you know how monsters begin bonding, right? They don’t just start out with _that_.” He waved the bottle around and spoke bitterly. “Since you’re too shy to refer to it as anything other than _that thing that you haven’t done_ …” He took another punishing chug and then set the bottle down. You were relieved that it wasn’t empty; you weren't sure how stable he'd be by the time it was.

He continued. “My idea of why this has happened is that when you wrapped Shale in your magic before Dancing Day, your asking them to supply the intention for your magic not only unlocked their own latent abilities, but…” He gestured to you. “You inadvertently created a low-level bond with them.”

“bullshit.” Sans grumbled.

“Look at me. You refused to interact with Shale if you could help it, and then suddenly you were over and acting like you’d been friends for centuries!” He had to calm himself down a bit. “I’ve known you for a long time. I watched you and Papyrus grow up. I have always been here to make sure you were okay—and this is one of those times that as a friend, I’m required to tell you what’s going on since you’re too frustratingly _obtuse_ to realize it!”

“Wait.” You said. “So… by me becoming Shale, Sans and I bonded?”

Grillby’s face turned blue, and he folded his hands on the table. “Not fully. It’s low enough that it doesn’t show, and so it’s nearly imperceptible. However, to give a bit of insight… Remember how I tried to help you maintain the magic levels to keep that disguise up?”

“Yeah, what about it?” You asked, Sans straightened up and looked lively now, too.

“You rejected my magic almost entirely. Like oil and water, mine and yours do not mix. However, you and Sans fit together in a way _even most monsters_ don’t. It’s… uncanny.” He paused. “Perhaps it’s because the two of you are similar.”

“how so?” Sans asked, as if this were all some kind of joke and he was just awaiting the punchline so he could go home.

“I don’t think you need me to tell you all you two have in common. Everyone in the Underground sees it but you.”

Sans ground his teeth, and you reached for his hand under the counter, where Grillby wouldn’t see. He didn’t hold yours back, and you tried not to take it personally. “grillby, is this all you needed to say?”

He sighed. “No, but I know you won’t listen further. Please, don’t hate me for my honesty, Sans.”

“don’t **sweat** it, grillbz.” He said and hurriedly slipped from his barstool, grabbing your hand and dragging you with him. “see you tomorrow, sleep well, all that jazz.”

You glanced back at Grillby to see him pick up a towel and start scrubbing at a tumbler as if his life depended on it.

Sans was still dragging you by the hand, but when you thought the two of you were going to go inside the house, he surprised you by taking you to the lab. He pulled you in and shut the door and turned to you. His pinpricks searched you, and he let go of your hand. “tell me your thoughts.” He said.

You gulped. “On what?”

“do you think we’ve bonded?” He asked. “it would have had to be a two-sided thing, you know.”

“Sans, I’m still really confused.”

“everyone in the underground thinks we’ve had sex now.” He groaned.

“You’re asking me if… we had sex?”

He flushed and looked away. “no! i’m asking you if you…” He trailed off and let out his breath. “sorry. I don’t know what i’m asking.”

“Sans, you’re the best friend I’ve ever had, so… whatever this means, we’ll figure it out, okay? Just… does… does it bother you?”

His eyes snapped back to yours. “…no. you?”

You shook your head. He relaxed a little. You waited until he was calm, and then spoke again. “So… I’m going to regret this… but what the hell does monster sex even imply?” You smiled at him, but your smile faltered when he didn’t laugh as you’d expected him to. He just blushed even heavier and turned away.

“we’re not talking about this right now.” He said. “so let’s go play something. what’s that game we haven’t played yet? let’s play that one.” You let him drag you out through a shortcut, and you told him to start without you. You grabbed your amenities and nearly crawled up the stairs, your legs feeling heavy like you were made of iron. You headed into the bathroom and took the most blissful shower you could ever remember taking, but your thoughts wouldn’t leave you alone.

You would get on the website tonight. You needed to understand what was going on, and maybe the best way to do that would be to see just what everyone didn’t want you to see. The desire to understand what was wrong with Sans filled you with DETERMINATION!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello yes, you. Reading this. You're lovely.
> 
> I didn't think there'd be another Reader's Choice to do, but I got some new ideas, and... well, the story keeps getting longer T.T  
> Don't worry, things are still going to happen soon. PLOT WILL EVENTUALLY HAPPEN I SWEAR.  
> 


	21. It's Raining Somewhere Else

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternate Titles: "Fanfic-ception", "Pop! Goes the Demon Child"
> 
> Training, Alphys's fanfiction, and everyone is scrambling to prepare for Love Day.
> 
> What will happen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so, this is going to be fun. Maybe a bit shorter than usual, but I will make up for it by posting another one tomorrow after work.

You instantly regretted this. The first thing you’d seen on the website was a post from “ModMewMew” (obviously Alphys) stating that she had finished her Fanfiction, and that she was sure most of the people who regularly checked on the website would enjoy it. Your curiosity had gotten the better of you, and without checking the actual website for what Sans was upset about, you ended up reading the entire chapter she'd posted thus far.

 

* * *

* * *

Birdy was a regular, if astounding, human. They had flown through most of their life under the radar, but soon, things would change. Monsters were on the surface, and Birdy was attending a predominately Monster school. There were humans there, but they were few and far between. So Birdy kind of stuck out like a sore thumb. They didn’t like being the center of attention, so they tended to sneak around to look for quiet, uninhabited places to study or stare into space instead of work (as they frequently do).

That was what led Birdy to the Music Room that would change their life.

Upon entering the Music Room, Birdy was astounded to meet the Ebott Host Club in all their glory (which in this case does not mean they are naked. They are all in the school uniform, which are sharp, flattering, and suit-like. You could almost assume it would be the result of Grillby modelling for Muffet). Petrified as the group appraised them, Birdy was helpless but to note that a particularly loud robot broke from the group to inspect them closer.

“Hello, darling human, I am Mettaton. And you…?”

Birdy glanced to the others for help, but they were talking amongst themselves idly.

“Ah, in any case!” The robot waved the unanswered question away, and took Birdy into his arms. “Welcome, please allow us to show you—” He let out an inelegant noise as Birdy fought away from him.

“I… uh, I’ve made a mistake.” They turned and headed for the door, but were tackled by a tiny skeleton. He looked up at Birdy, who looked down to see pleadingly joyous eyes staring up at them.

“HUMAN-CHAN!”

* * *

* * *

 

You were laughing too hard at this point to continue reading for a moment. “I’ve made a mistake” fit quite well. This was goddamn _priceless_.

 

* * *

* * *

“I have a name!” Birdy whined, but still didn’t volunteer it. Thus the remark was ignored.

Mettaton tried again to embrace Birdy, but they panicked and flailed, crashing into a pedestal holding a priceless relic that was old enough that no one living remembered where it came from. (Writer’s note: Ah, Birdy. Too clumsy for their own good. I swear this isn’t just for comedic value—I work with them, they’re clumsy.)

Another skeleton eyed Birdy harshly, his sockets darkened with aggravation. Two humans chuckled from behind our unfortunate Songbird. Mettaton peered at you. “Well darling.” He shook his head. “Well well well…” Birdy looked up at him. “Welly well well…” They’re petrified stare became an aggravated glare. “Well welly well well, well well welly.”

“Just kill me.” Birdy sighed and flopped onto the ground in defeat. “Whatever the hell that was, I can’t pay for it.”

Papy (chibi Papyrus) grabbed at Birdy’s hand and studied it in fascination. The twin humans cocked their heads in alternate directions and peered down curiously at Birdy. “You’re not going to offer to pay it off somehow?” They asked in unison.

Papy placed Birdy’s large hand across his face and gave a soft laugh. Their hand almost entirely engulfed his face, and the vibrations of his laugh against their palm made them pull their hand away. “No, I’m not. I don’t have a way to pay it off. I already said as much, are you all deaf?”

Sans was writing in his booklet and staring at the scene. “Such sass.” He stepped forward, and a frightening energy came from him. Birdy just stared defiantly up at him from the ground. “You’ll pay it off. At least this time, I’m not the one with a tab.” He winked, but there was no mirth in his cold smile.

Birdy looked around hoping to find at least one sane individual in the room, but only saw a stoic blue fish woman who only moved forward to lift Papy onto her shoulders. She didn’t speak at first, just stared down at them emotionlessly. Right when they opened your mouth to speak, she let out an earsplitting roar, “YOU BELONG TO THE HOST CLUB, PUNK!”

Birdy resisted the urge to argue, but failed. “Look, I’m sorry, but… I don’t do the whole ‘slave’ thing.”

Sans snorted humorlessly. The twins shrugged and pulled Birdy to their feet. Mettaton pranced about, blathering nonsense concerning how Birdy could best be put to work. Sans snapped his book closed and came closer. “If you refuse to serve us, then you must otherwise work off your debt.” His tone took on a suggestive air, and Birdy blushed and looked away. “Heh, what a pervert. I meant that you should be a host.”

Mettaton spun on his heel and laughed “YES, that is an amaaaazing idea!”

Sans looked at Mettaton in a way Birdy labeled as “bitch, did I ask you?”

Sans looked back to Birdy, his smile slightly less malicious now. “Would you like to learn how to be a monster?”

Birdy hitched their eyebrow like they always do when they think they’re being bullshitted.

HAS SANS FINALLY MET HIS MATCH IN SASSING? Find out next chapter!

* * *

* * *

 

You were laughing too hard to breathe, and Sans paused the game, mid-battle, and leaned over. “what’s so damn funny? you’ve been choking for the last ten minutes.”

“I’m gonna kill Alphys so hard when I next see her.” You managed to say between gasps for air. Laughing like this hurt your already sore abdominal muscles. You doubled over with a groan. “Kill her sooo hard.”

“what is it, shale?”

“Alphys wrote a fanfic about us.” You started laughing again. “Based on Ouran High School Host Club. I wasn’t fucking ready for that.”

“ _what_?”

“Don’t ask, Sans. Please, for the love of all the things…”

“what is this?!” He grabbed your phone and began reading the fanfic. Being as how he couldn’t scroll on your touchscreen, he handed it back to you after a short pause and put his face in his hands. “i am so fucking confused.”

“We should watch the anime.” You said. “That way we can read this again, and keep reading up on it. We’ll have our own little joke, and when we go back to work in the lab, we’ll never let her hear the end of it!”

Sans looked askance at you. “doesn’t alphys have the dvd though?”

“Yeah, but you can just teleport over there, can’t you? She won’t even notice.”

He nodded thoughtfully. “so, how does that story end, anyway?”

You wracked your brain. “Anime or manga? They both ended much the same, but…” You shrugged. “Well, eventually, they all fall in love with Haruhi, the main character, but Tamaki, the annoying one that Alphys put Mettaton into, ends up with them. I…” You shook your head. “Back when I first read the series, that was the pairing I liked least.” You bit your lip. You had been about to say that your favorite pairing had been Haruhi/Kyoya. With what you could surmise, Alphys had written Sans as Kyoya. You screamed internally. Would she derail the canon story to make it fit her OTP? What would happen in that one chapter where shirtless Kyoya pins Haruhi—

“hey, you alright?”

You jolted. “F- _Fuck_ , I’m fine. Yeah just nothing wrong here.” You couldn’t look at him. You knew you were blushing, but you didn’t want him to see you. You were afraid that he’d know exactly what you’d been thinking just by the look in your eyes. You were starting to wonder just how fucked up your brain had become lately.

If you would have looked at him, you would have noticed that his hand shook as he reached for the controller again, his face stark blue as he pointedly looked away from you, much for the same reason you had. “it’s getting late. you should probably head up.” He whispered.

“What do you mean? I sleep on the couch.”

“not while you’re training. and before you complain about it, i can sleep just about anywhere comfortably. i’m all **bones** , shale.”

“Nope, I’m _not_ sleeping in your room, it’ll feel weird.”

“did it feel weird last night?” He asked, with the slightest note of victory.

Yeah, you took that completely dirty, and coughed to hide how flustered you were. “Wait, what?”

“you don’t remember waking up in there?” He shrugged. “speaking of which, i need to go get my coat out of the dryer.” He thrust the controller at you, mid-fight and took a shortcut.

Now that you thought of it… You could remember being warm, feeling safe. No dreams at all. There was also something soft— “Oh, no. What was I cuddling into?” You dropped the controller and cradled your head in your hands. All you remembered was it smelled like ketchup and dryer sheets. You prayed it was just another pillow and you hadn’t held him all night. Gods, no, that was too…

You scrubbed your cheeks, feeling them get impossibly warmer. You decided to take initiative tonight, and drug yourself toward the stairs, and then looked up them morosely. Your legs hurt so badly—how were you possibly going to do the same thing tomorrow? More importantly, how were you going to get up the stairs right now?

You felt a hand between your shoulders and winced at the feeling of bone pressing against tense muscles. “huh, you’re still all banged up. why are you so resistant to healing magic?” Sans asked right behind you. “and why does it feel like your back is made of rocks?” He sounded fascinated, his fingers kneading into your shoulder. You tensed under the touch for a moment. “did i hurt you?” He asked even softer, his hand hesitating over your skin.

“No…” You said. “It’s a muscle thing. When humans do a lot of strenuous exercise, their muscles bunch up from tension and it hurts.” He flinched away. “But… massaging helps.” You admitted, slightly bashful.

“why are you standing at the foot of the steps anyway?”

“I honestly don’t know how to get up the stairs right now. My legs feel like fuck.”

He chuckled softly, and his hand returned to your back, gentler this time, almost a caress. “well, i can help you up the stairs.” He said, and suddenly, you were standing in front of his bed. In his room. In the dark. You turned around, but he wasn’t in there. Were you disappointed? No, no of course not.

Maybe. Yes.

You sighed, aggravated at yourself. You turned around toward the bed again, and noticed your bag of amenities resting on the mattress. Someone had put fresh sheets on the bed today. Probably Papyrus, you thought. You moved your bag to the side and sat down stiffly on the mattress. You felt… odd. You had just begun to relax when you heard a knock on the door. “knock knock.”

You sighed and got up, forcing your legs to cooperate as you approached the general direction of the door. “Who’s there?”

“opportunity.”

This was new. “Opportunity who?”

“ever notice how opportunity always knocks, but never turns the handle?” He said it almost wonderingly. You went closer to the door. “so, uh… you okay if i come in, or do i actually have to try to be funny?”

“Hold on, I gotta grope the wall for the switch.”

“heh, what a **turn on**.”

You snorted, and found the switch at last. You finally opened the door and looked at him. He looked a bit relieved. You moved aside and gestured in. “So, what’s up?”

He sauntered past you and looked around. “does the dust tornado bother you?”

Oh, you only just now had noticed it. “Nope.” He nodded, and before you could stop yourself you said, “I’m kinda surprised you cleaned up in here.” Hell, it sounded rude. You were about to start backpedaling.

“yeah, i know it’s weird, but… i wanted you to be comfortable.”

You were both blushing and looking away from each other. “So…” You wanted to break the silence, but had nothing to go on.

“was just wondering if you’d let me help you out. with the muscle pain.” He said. “if that’s okay. i had no idea humans get sore. i uh, don’t really have that problem.” You were trying to respond, but he was still rambling. You had to admit, you were glad it wasn’t just you who got nervous. You just weren’t sure why he was this bad. “i don’t know if it’s appropriate, or what…”

“I…” You gestured at him to calm down, and he sighed, deflating a bit. “That would be nice, actually.” You sighed. “I’d probably be a lot less sore in the morning.”

“how do we do this, then?” He asked, shuffling around.

You sat down on the bed and turned away. “I guess you… sit behind me?” This was a bad idea. He didn’t know what he was doing, why did he want to do it? Curiosity about the gross human with weird skin? You cringed internally. Was that what it was? You were suddenly very self-conscious about your scars. Your shorts were covering the ones on your thighs, and the tanktop hid the ones on your back and shoulder blades… but you were suddenly concerned about every visible marking on your body.

You felt yourself begin to panic, but focused on sensory in an attempt to avoid the attack. Sans depressed the mattress right behind you. You focused on what you could see. From this angle, you could see the window, but there were curtains drawn over it. You were left with a lovely view of the wall… and then there was the feeling of Sans’s fingers touching your back experimentally. He was being much too gentle to get anywhere on your muscles, but… you could feel goosebumps on your arms. You rubbed them subconsciously. You weren’t cold, were you?

The room didn’t smell like ketchup, you noted. You weren’t sure what it smelled like, to be honest. It was a faint, familiar, relaxing feeling that was tied to it, though. Your memory tickled, but you couldn’t identify it, to your disappointment.

To encourage him that he wasn’t going to hurt you, you leaned into his hands. He hesitated for a moment, and then began to gently knead your shoulders. You suppressed the initial hiss by sheer willpower. You focused on the sound of him breathing and closed your eyes, trying your best to relax your muscles under his hands.

“wow, this is so strange.” He whispered. “i can feel the difference.”

“Me too.” You breathed.

The silence had become very comfortable, but you didn’t feel upset to hear him interrupt it. “hey, shale?”

“Yes?” You didn’t know why the two of you were speaking so quietly, but you were kind of grateful for it. After all that had happened today, the quiet was soothing.

“i know we’ve talked about this before, but… what do you miss most about the surface?” He seemed less nervous now that he had something to do with his hands, you noted. He was rubbing your shoulders rather than kneading them, and then he worked on the middle of your back, nearly drawing a groan from you. He was certainly a quick learner, you had to give him that.

You thought about it carefully, trying to remember things that you couldn’t enjoy here. “You know that feeling it gets right before a heavy storm in the summer? The air is… all heavy, and there’s a feeling of static. It feels like…”

“yeah.”

“I miss standing out in the rain, especially at night. The way the green in the world just comes alive under all the rain, and the warmth… It’s like being cradled, you know?”

“yeah.” He repeated, his hands having stilled. He returned to the process when he realized himself. “i… really miss that, too.” He finally said.

That tickle to your memory again, and you felt like it was so obvious…

 

* * *

 

Sans didn’t know what to do with his new knowledge. You began to sway as he rubbed your back. He caught on when you were trying not to cry out from the painful tension being stabbed at, but knew from how hard you stifled your reactions that you didn’t want him to stop. Likewise, right now, swaying, leaning into his touch, letting out blissful sighs…

Your tanktop rode up a bit, and he could see the skin on your back, the edge of a scar. His magic boiled in his bones, and he beat it down hurriedly. Would he always have such a flash of anger every time he saw the proof of your past pain?

It was weird, he mused, that you had said that. He remembered the very first time he’d seen a real storm on the surface. He’d been afraid at first. Sure, sometimes it rained in Waterfall, but this was different. He and Papyrus had stood outside, unaware that that was dangerous. Papyrus had gone back inside after a while, saying that the static made him feel anxious.

Sans had stayed outside, unmoved by the wind, unfazed by the pouring rain. It was much like you’d said. It felt like the world was embracing him. The _sky_ was embracing him. And he looked up wonderingly. Stars were beautiful, yes, but… seeing the wind blow the storm in, he couldn’t be mad that he couldn’t count the constellations. The clouds moved so quickly, as he watched. The wind, the thunder rumbling farther off—

“the sky is always there, whether we see it or not.” He said. “i know it’s raining somewhere…”

“Sans?”

Oh, he hadn’t noticed he’d said it aloud. “uh, sorry. it’s nothing.”

You turned your head and glanced over your shoulder at him. You smiled, but he saw you were tired. “I don’t mind. You can talk about the surface with me. I know you’re at a loss of other people to talk about it with.” He was staring, but hadn’t been aware he was until you turned your face away. He also realized he’d stopped massaging again. You took the opportunity to stretch, and even without twisting, your back let out a series of pops and snaps. His hand hovered over your spine. If he touched you, would he feel it pop? “I think I’m ready to go to bed.” You yawned and then slumped after finishing your stretch. You had relaxed directly into his hand, and he didn’t move. You didn’t seem bothered. “You sure you don’t want me on the couch?”

Of all times to think about how the two of you had slept on the couch together once—now was not the time. It was _certainly_ not the time to remember his hand resting on your thigh. “uhh, yeah, like i said, i can sleep just about anywhere.” He chuckled. “in fact, i, uh… sleep in the lab sometimes.” His hand was moving around on your back, almost too gently, like before he’d started. You took a deep breath. He withdrew his hand reluctantly. You heard the rustle of fabric, and then felt a warm and heavy weight on your back. “ya seemed to really like the jacket last night, so…”

You looked relieved. He wasn’t sure why. You turned to him again. “Thanks.” He could tell you wanted to ask questions, but you seemed too shy to ask them.

It was weird to see you shy. He got up, and you stared at the vacated spot over your shoulder. Your smile had faltered when you finally turned back around. You didn’t look at him, but—

He grabbed your chin gently and tilted your face up. After a moment, you tensely met his eyes. Had he ever just looked at your eyes before? Not like this, he discovered. “like a galaxy. or a supernova.” He whispered, and you blushed. Was he making you uncomfortable? He let go of your chin, feeling his magic course (but _why?_ he asked himself desperately). “get some rest, shale.” He said, trying not to sound awkward or…

“You too.” You replied softly. There was something about your voice that made him want to turn back around. He wanted to stay up all night, talking to you, learning all about you. He wanted to see what other little beautiful surprises, what other galaxies, you were hiding from him. But… he admitted… he also wanted you to sleep.

He shut the light off with his magic as he opened the door. When the door clicked shut again, he let out a breath and looked down at the couch. Should he sleep or should he work on the present? Love Day was just around the corner. Even if you didn’t want to celebrate it, the two of you had a totally-not-date planned just to avoid Mettaton’s invite.

He tried to urge himself to work on the present, but he’d been working hard on it, lately. While you were training, the times he’d broken away, he’d been shoulder deep in spare parts, trying to find a way to make it work. He was out of energy. For someone infamous for being lazy, he sure didn’t feel like he’d been acting it. He took a shortcut, and fell backwards from the air onto the couch. He looked at his hands, and wondered if you were weirded out by his lack of skin. “yeah, caring is too much effort.” He whispered to himself, burying his metacarpals in his eye sockets and rubbing. He sighed and rolled over. Using his magic, he covered himself with the throw that had been hanging over the back of the couch for him. He couldn’t stop thinking about you.

Upstairs, you were having a similar problem, hugging his coat to your form. It was freshly washed, soft… and perhaps you were both thinking the same thing in the silence of the night.

_When?_

 

* * *

 

_Sans was in a human funeral home. Toriel, Papyrus, Undyne… everyone was there. There was a closed casket ahead, and soft, sad piano music drifted from somewhere. Sans was walking without wanting to. On the lid of the casket, he saw now, was a red heart. He stood in front of the child-sized coffin._

_He hated this dream. He’d had it a few times in the past few years, but… This time, he noticed, you were behind him. You held his hand. “I’m here.” You said._

_“promise?” He asked as the sad, slow music changed. It was one of those weird tunes human children were fond of. He even thought he could remember the words._

_~~round and round the wooden bench, the monkey chased the weasel, the monkey thought it was all fun~~ Sans flinched, but the casket was motionless. ~~pop! goes the weasel~~_

_The music repeated itself, incrementally faster now. He was sweating, frozen to the spot. Again, the casket did not budge. The music began again._

_“you better stay in there, you fuckin weasel.” He growled. “you can’t take this away from me.”_

_Again the casket did not budge. The music began again. Faster._

_He was shaking. “don’t fucking do it, kid.”_

_Nothing. The music began again._

_He looked around, but everyone was dust. He looked down, and saw that it wasn’t you behind him. Red eyes glinted up at him. “ ~~I promise.~~ ” The child’s voice was guttural._

_Hopelessly, he looked back to the dais, and the coffin—_

_~~pop! goes the weasel~~ The adult-sized coffin burst open. He tried to look away, but the dream showed him no mercy. He had already seen your eyes, glassy and hazed. He looked at the blood on his hands, and wept with relief when he belatedly felt the knife’s trail._

He was gasping as he woke, and shaking. “fuck, fuckfuckfuck.” He panted. Where was he? _When_ was he? He was on the couch, and there was a PS2 controller next to him. That wasn’t enough reassurance. He calmed himself down enough to take a shortcut, and as silently as he could, he stepped into his room.

Yes, you were still there. He relaxed, and at the sound of his sigh, you stirred, nuzzling into the jacket sleepily. He stepped forward and looked at you. His hand hovered for a moment, and then, rather than touch your hair as he’d impulsively sought to do, he pulled the covers over your bare shoulder. He fell backwards and landed on the couch in the living room again. He lay there for a moment before he realized he wasn’t going back to sleep, even if it killed him. Grumbling, he got up, finding himself in the lab again.

 

* * *

 

Asgore wandered the Ruins, searching for his Tori. The search was fruitless. He slept in the flower pot on her desk, pushing the glowing mushroom from its place violently. He would admit it: he was frightened. But on top of that, he was also angry. Where was Gaster? What had he done to him? This must be revenge, right? And, yes, Asgore couldn’t blame Gaster for turning him into… _this_ … but…

He slept fitfully, and woke filled with DETERMINATION.

~~Three Days until Love Day.~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeey there, did you sign up for an emotional roller coaster ride? Too bad, you're strapped in, now. It only goes downhill from here. Check in tomorrow, lovelies! And as always, don't forget to leave me some LOVe in the comments. It really makes my day so much happier!
> 
> If anyone wants to take the cast-picture of Ouran and photoshop the appropriate faces onto it, I'd love to see it! Tag it on tumblr as #SwearToDitty, and I'll find it for sure! (This goes for anything you want me to see. Be merciful, please lol.)
> 
> Also, when I said we would wrap it up by the 30th chapter, I apparently lied and I'm only half sorry. If this keeps up, it might be 40 chapters.
> 
> Tune in for next episode, AKA: Mettaton Wants to Visit the Bonezone. (unofficial title, but you get it.)


	22. It's Raining In My Head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternate Title: "Mettaton Wants to Visit the Bonezone"
> 
> Training, Alphys's fanfiction, and Love Day Preparations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Im not posting until i have the love day arc fully written. *trips. Chapter fall out of inside of coat* fuck. Fuck i-- hey, no dont read that. I *another chapter falls out* goddammit." ~ Me
> 
> You know what? Two in one night. Why not. I hate waiting, anyway.
> 
> Part twooooo~  
> Have fun, lovelies!

He worked on the present until he heard Papyrus stir in the kitchen. He didn’t really think much of it—until he heard a clatter and a noise that was definitely not Papyrus-made. He took a shortcut into the kitchen and saw you dangling from the tall sink’s ledge.

“little early for you to be **up**.” He said.

“Ah, there you are. Don’t leave me **hanging** , huh?”

He chuckled and grabbed your waist. You let go of the ledge and he let you down.

“So… is it just me or did the sink get taller?”

He shrugged. “whaddaya need? water?”

“Coffee. I’m going to need it. Alphys posted another chapter of her fic, so…” You began chuckling, and no amount of effort would disguise it. “Plus, would monster coffee help me out?”

He nodded. “yeah. lemme handle it.” You moved to the side out of his grasp, and he regretfully let you go. Once again he could almost imagine a similar morning ritual on the surface, in the little place he’d rented before. He pushed the unwelcome distraction away and used his magic to lift the coffee pot to the sink and get the water. “wanna hang out in the lab? paps will be up soon, and he’s a bit loud.”

You looked thankful for the suggestion, but when your eyes met his, your expression changed to one of worry. “Did you sleep?”

“yeah. i’m good.”

You sighed. “Look, Sans, I trust you know your limits, but try to get some sleep soon, okay?”

He considered telling you about the nightmare, but he wasn’t sure how you’d react to it. The two of you sat in the lab and talked over 80’s music for a while as he worked on the project. He had to admit that he felt much more inspired when you were around. He felt like he got more done. He felt calmer, more gathered.

 _maybe grillby knows what he’s talking about._ Sans thought, but along with the now-familiar fear of history repeating itself, he felt a warmth that he could almost say made it worth the fear.

 

* * *

 

Papyrus and Undyne were talking animatedly over a chunk of crumpled sheet metal. Undyne was impressed—and Mettaton, looking on from the sidelines, was overwhelmed. Papyrus had carried this large mass of metal into the lab and said, “I WANT TO MAKE SOMETHING FOR THE HUMAN FOR LOVE DAY.”

“What are you making?” Undyne asked. “Can I help?”

He nodded and dropped the metal. It dented the floor. He shoved his gloved hands into the cracks of the crumpled sheet metal. His eyes flashed orange briefly, and there was a peal of splitting metal as he pried it open. “I DON’T KNOW HOW TO MAKE MAGICAL ARMOR LIKE YOURS!”

Undyne blanched. “Why do you want Birdy to wear armor like mine? I don’t think they’ll be able to move in it.”

He deflated, but then got another idea and perked up. “SO I DON’T USE METAL, THEN.” He crowed, and reached for the metal again. Mettaton watched in something between horror and arousal as Papyrus grasped the corner of the sheet metal and easily _tore_ a chunk off.

“I HAVE AN IDEA!” Undyne said, “Muffet weaves spidersilk so fine and tightly woven that it can deflect magic!” She looked shy for a moment. “Before I started dating Alphys, I paid Muffet to make her labcoats out of it, and made it look like Asgore commissioned it, so she wouldn’t know it was from me.”

Papyrus nodded. “DOES IT HOLD MAGIC WELL?”

“It should.” She replied. “Why don’t you go talk to her? She said she owed you on the website, didn’t she?”

“UNDYNE, THIS IS WHY YOU’RE MY BEST FRIEND!”

Undyne grinned. “That reminds me. So… you know how Alphys and I are going to do our Formal, right?” She waited till he nodded. “So, I’d like you to be my First Hand.” It was a tradition-thing that she didn’t really know the meaning of, but it was an honor reserved for someone you trusted with your life. “Alphys is trying to decide between Sans and Birdy.”

Papyrus nodded again, and crushed Undyne in a hug. “I HUMBLY ACCEPT! WHEN WILL IT BE?”

She shrugged. “Depends, man. Alphys says there is something they want to talk to Birdy about, and that will determine when.”

Papyrus looked suspicious, but didn’t ask any more questions. Undyne was glad. She knew she knew too much, and she wasn’t always best at keeping secrets, especially from Papyrus. “UNDYNE, COME WITH ME TO MUFFET’S. IT ISN’T FAR, YOU WON’T DIE.”

“One of us needs to start Birdy’s training!” Undyne insisted.

“PLEASE, UNDYNE! I NEED YOUR HELP!”

Mettaton finally gathered his wits and approached. “I need to visit Muffet. She was working on my Love Day gift for my dear Phantom. I shall accompany you~!”

Papyrus nodded, and the two of them ran off excitedly, each talking about their gift ideas. Undyne sat down with a laugh, cracked open a ramune, and checked the website. Training could wait until he got back. It wasn’t like Grillby would let them fight you today, anyway.

 

* * *

* * *

“Would you like to learn how to be a monster?” Sans repeated, slightly more aggravated.

Birdy hung their head. “Why do I need to be a monster? You have two humans already!” They pointed to the twins, who were wearing shiny translucent armor over their snazzy uniforms. They wore silver-plated scabbards with ornate swords glinting. The twins, when not engaged in conversation with anyone else, were usually touching each other’s sword hilts, suggestively trying to slide each other’s swords from their scabbards.

Sans waved at them noncommittally. “Our human base is covered, however… we are lacking in one area in particular.” His grin was predatory, but Birdy wasn’t afraid because they have no sense of fear even when they definitely should (Writer’s note: Seriously, I think there’s something wrong with them. I’ve never seen them get scared).

“What area would that be? And could you back off before I learn if skeletons feel pain from a well-placed kick?”

He chuckled, and the twins, Pester and Jester, grabbed Birdy’s shoulders again, leaning in on either side. “You’d look cute in green.” One said. “Or in blue.” Said the other.

Sans extended his hand. “You might learn something interesting on the way.”

* * *

* * *

 

“Oh, Alphys, Sans would never talk like this.” You muttered under your breath. Louder, you asked Sans, “Hey, did you ever tell Alphys how you and I made the costume?”

He dropped something. “uh!” You resisted the urge to look and see what was wrong. “uh, actually… i took a lot of notes that week to see how it would affect you. i let alphys read them after the amalgamate incident.” Now that he thought of it, he realized uncomfortably that he was a lot like Gaster. Now as he analyzed and re-analyzed that week in his memory, he wondered if he’d put anything suspicious in those notes. What if Alphys had posted them on that stupid website?! “why do you ask?”

“Just curious.” You said.

 

* * *

* * *

Sans led Birdy into a dark room cut off by a curtain, which he closed in Mettaton’s face. His right eye lit blue when he turned around. “So what I need you to do is close your eyes and focus on the most bad-ass thing you could possibly ever think of.” He paused. “And your debt will not decrease by choosing a skeleton. Both my brother and I are immune to flattery.”

“LIES!” Roared a tiny voice beyond the curtain.

Birdy chuckled. “Get handsy with me and I’ll break every bone you’ve got.”

Beyond the curtain, once again, Undyne commented. “I like them.”

Mettaton muttered, “Hmm, threatening to break his bones. How kinky.”

“Quiet down, everyone!” Sans snapped. Birdy stared into the blue eye, feeling unimpressed. “Give me your hands, close your eyes, and imagine what you could be.”

Birdy reluctantly obeyed, and the curtain opened just a fraction so the others could watch. Blue magic surged around the human, and it began to cling to them, translucent at first, taking a massive form before solidifying into something tangible and convincing. Emerald green scales glinted in the pale blue light.

Birdy opened their eyes. “Did it work?”

Sans smiled wider. “Perfect.” He whispered. As he stared up at the impressive draconic creature, he knew.

* * *

* * *

 

“No. No, don’t do that, Alphys!” You wailed, unable to quit reading despite the line you knew you were about to encounter. Sans gave you an inquisitive glance. You were absorbed in this little fanfic—enjoying yourself a lot. It was funny, but also… He cut off his train of thought and returned to his work, ignoring the heat of his magic on his cheekbones.

 

* * *

* * *

Sans knew that this creature was what he’d needed all along. “I think you deserve a new name, don’t you? Since you still, so rudely, haven’t introduced yourself.”

“I’m—”

“Shale.” He said it reverently. “Your name is Shale, now.” 'And you’re mine.' His thoughts added.

WILL SHALE RECIPROCATE THESE TOTALLY CANON FEELINGS?! Find out next chapter!

* * *

* * *

 

“I swear to Ditty, I will throw this phone. Alphyssss!” You hissed, laughter bubbling in you.

Sans laughed and came closer. You turned, and he was right there. You were startled, almost expecting his eye to be lit up like in the fic. “how close is it to the real thing?”

You were about to say probably nothing like it. You couldn’t imagine Sans having feelings for you like Alphys apparently thought he did. At that point, you realized he was talking about the show. “It’s a clusterfuck, continuity-wise. I have no idea where she’s going with it. I’m kind of scared of that.”

He chuckled. “i’ll get the dvd today while you’re training. alphys will be over to take notes, anyway.” His hand rested gently on your back. “how are your shoulders?”

“My shoulders and back feel better than they would have.” You admitted shyly. “Thanks.”

“no prob. it’s kinda cool, the whole muscle-thing.” He said. “wouldn’t mind helping you out again.”

“You’re saying you’d rather give me a massage than game?”

He paused, “is that weird?”

“I really must be a bad influence on you.” You mused. “You’ve been doing a lot of stuff lately.” You glanced at him, saw him look away self-consciously. “I appreciate it, Sans.”

He looked back, pinpricks large and dull. He blinked and they were back to normal. He looked flustered, and didn’t know how to reply.

You smiled, but your brain butted into the totally comfortable moment. _It’s just wishful thinking, you know._ The internal voice chided. _One day he’ll get tired of you like everyone else did. One day he’ll get bored of being nice and break you down like everyone else did._

“shale, what’s wrong?” He asked, the pressure of his hand on your back bringing you back to the real world.

 _Should I let this happiness go to waste while it’s here, or should I take advantage of it while I can?_ You wondered. “I’m fine.” You said, smiling back weakly. _You’re weak!_ The dark voice in your head said. _Either admit what you’ve been hiding, or turn your back. Quit riding the fence and be honest!_ You knew it had a point, but you didn’t want to admit how scared you were to be wrong. Hell, how scared you were to be _right_! You didn’t know what was worse: being denied the happiness, or having it only to have it wrested from you in exchange for equal or greater parts pain.

“if you say so. let’s go get you ready for training.” He said, and took you back to his room. Again, when you turned, he was gone, and you sighed, digging in your bag for a change of clothes that you could train in. You changed quickly, realizing that at any moment, Undyne could barge in and drag you out into the snow, and you really didn’t want to be only partially dressed.

Speaking of which, where were Undyne and Papyrus? They should have been here by now! After you got dressed, Sans met you at the bottom of the stairs, and asked if you wanted to go check with Grillby. You agreed, since he was the one actually teaching you, after all.

Grillby was dressed oddly today, you noted. He wore clothes that were much older in make than you’d seen in person previously. The shirt had a slashed neckline, laced with rawhide. The pants were relatively loose-fitting, with a drawstring tie to keep them up. He wore no shoes, and no glasses. He stood behind the bar, his towel slung over his shoulder. A couple of monsters were enjoying lunch, and called out in greeting as you and Sans entered. Grillby’s face snapped up to attention at your arrival, and he let out a warm noise.

“Ah, I was worried you would not be in any condition to train today.” He said. “I am impressed. I underestimated you.”

You smiled. “Don’t be so formal, Grillby. We’re all friends here, aren’t we? What’s with the getup?”

He chuckled lightly and cradled his head. “It has its perks. I have a slight hangover, I believe. The age-old magic in these garments dulls pain, and they’re easy to move in.” These were his war clothes, you surmised. You were immensely surprised that he’d kept them and further shocked that he’d worn them now.

After the patrons were done eating, they migrated outside to join the rest of the monsters at the verge of your training area. Sans stuck around long enough to help you form the weapon, and then winked at you, blinking out of existence after wishing you luck. The crowd cheered for you, even though the first few hours were filled with Grillby revisiting stance and proper techniques with you.

When you finally did move on to something else, you couldn’t get the hang of a very simple movement. He made it look so easy, fluidly dancing along, and then waiting for you to imitate him. He would shake his head gently, and take you back to the beginning pose. You couldn’t help but get upset. He sensed your frustration and sighed.

“Shale, you are improving, believe me. You’re a quick study, but swordplay cannot be mastered in a day, or a week, or even a month. It takes years of practice and dedication. I won’t lie to you and tell you it will get easier once you get the basics down, but at that point, you will not need ease, you will need challenge, because challenge is what builds your fighting style. I can teach you all I know, but you will succeed me with more knowledge than I have, as you will develop your own version of my teachings.” His voice was calming, and he corrected your posture while he spoke. Again he did the motions. You followed along with your eyes, trying to dissect the process while still listening to him talk. He did it again slower, and you attempted to mirror him. He nodded. “Much better. Again.”

 

* * *

 

Sans had had a breakthrough while you were in his lab with him. He was almost ready to test it! He wondered if Alphys would be willing to help him with programming if necessary. That reminded him. He took a shortcut to her lab and began searching through the DVDs piled around her player, eventually finding the one you’d told him about. Under it was the case, which had the other DVD in it. He stared at the cover. “who’s who in this? am i the short one?” He muttered to himself.

He looked up at the giant TV screen, which was showing footage of the clearing. He watched as Grillby guided you through small movements. You looked so Determined, and it at once warmed and chilled him. He didn’t like comparing you to Frisk. You and that kid were nothing alike—he kept assuring himself that, but he could still remember how suddenly they’d changed into that little fucking demon they’d eventually become. And then, back to normal—or as close to normal a kid could get without a soul. They thought he didn’t notice. They thought he didn’t care—

He watched as you smiled victoriously. Grillby was praising your clumsy but successful movement. He saw you look to your crowd of admirers and then look around again—maybe for him. Your face darkened a bit with disappointment, but you wiped it away and nodded to Grillby. He had you do the movement again and again. Sans stood and watched for what felt like ages. You fell on the ground at one point, and laughed hard before Grillby finally pulled you up off your ass. Sans chuckled, and movement caught his peripheral vision. He turned to see Undyne sitting across the lab, staring at him, blindly typing on her phone. She had been live posting his reactions to the Undernet.

He was back in his lab in a flash, setting the DVD box down on his counter. He’d think about it later. Right now, he just wanted to test the machine to see if it would start. And goddamn Undyne to hell, for all he cared. His face burned.

 

* * *

 

Papyrus stared at the spider silk. “MUFFET, ARE YOU SURE THIS WILL WORK?”

She stared at him. “Dearie, I don’t understand what it is you’re wanting.” Mettaton was eagerly turning a mannequin about, admiring the vegan leather coat he’d requested. “Explain it to me again.”

“I WANT TO MAKE MAGICAL ARMOR FOR THE HUMAN, SO THEY WILL ALWAYS BE SAFE.”

“Oh, that’s not practical, though.” She said gently. “My products work well against magic attacks, yes, but it can hardly be called armor!”

“NYOO-HOO-HOO… WHAT SHOULD I DO, THEN?” He asked, his sockets drooping in disappointment.

“Perhaps you should make a talisman?” She suggested gently.

“THAT’S NOT ENOUGH!” He argued petulantly.

Muffet smiled patiently at him. “Dearie, you realize magic is made of intention, right? If you want the talisman to protect against danger, physical or magical, you need only put that intention forth. As for the magic required to do so—I might be able to help you with that.”

“WOWIE, REALLY?!”

“Who am I to stop you from giving such a thoughtful gift? With how hard you and Undyne worked them yesterday, they might need it.” She replied darkly. “Our Songbird showed an odd usage of their purple magic yesterday, and I’ve been itching to replicate it. I was thinking it could be used as a force-field. I had only ever envisioned it as a web, as that was how it manifested to me… but if I can indeed get it to work like a force-field, I could possibly make it a weightless, ethereal armor piece.”

Papyrus was quiet for a moment. “SO WE NEED A TALISMAN, CORRECT?”

“Yes. We can make it so that they can summon it up whenever they need it, using an implement. Do you have any ideas?”

He nodded, hefting the chunk of sheet metal in his hand, staring at it with a new kind of smile. He'd intended to make something from it, anyway.

 

* * *

 

After training, rather than playing a game that night, you and Sans watched a few episodes of Ouran. “wait, so who’s who in this? i’m so confused.”

You laughed. “As far as I can tell, I’m Haruhi, the commoner girl. Mettaton is Tamaki, the idiot prince.”

“fitting.”

You ignored him and continued. “Undyne is Mori, Papyrus is Hani…”

“yeah, no. can you explain that? i’m not seeing it.”

“Hani and Mori in Ouran are world-class trained fighters.” You provided.

“gotcha. continue.”

“Umm, the twins… I don’t even know what she did to them. It’s like she made OC’s that were throwaways from the shounen genre, and then just pasted the homoerotic aspect over them.”

“and so i’m the shadow-king-guy?” He chuckled. “i don’t see it.”

You thought about it. “It’s true you and Kyoya act completely different… for the most part.”

“what’s that supposed to mean?”

You blushed. “Well, in the lab… sometimes you come across as that cold.” You remembered the piercing and studious gaze he’d use when he was fascinated by something. The way the jaded solitude would melt away when he was genuinely stumped by something. “I’d say you’re more like him than anyone else is like the character they’d been assigned.” You admitted and tried not to think too deeply on it.

“i don’t know. you and this person seem to have a bit in common.” He said, pointing at Haruhi.

You smirked. “Not really.”

“you’re almost cruelly blunt, and oblivious sometimes.” He pointed out. “and easily flustered.”

“What?” You asked, feeling your face heat just from the idea that you blushed easily. _Way to go, face. You traitor, you._ You jeered internally. “Hey, wait, that character isn’t easily flustered!”

He grinned at you. “you’d better get some sleep.”

“You too.” You replied a bit firmly.

“i’ll try.” He said quietly.

“Is it because you need your bed? Do you not sleep well on the couch? I don’t mind sleeping out here!”

“shale, calm down. that’s not what it is. i just… don’t sleep well sometimes.”

Your gaze sharpened. “Are you having nightmares again?”

His voice caught in his throat. He could tell you, couldn’t he? But what would you think of the dream? How would you interpret it, considering you knew how symbology typically went? “nah, just couldn’t sleep well. stress.”

“Oh, about Asgore, right?” You asked innocently. “Haha, I actually forgot about him.”

He had too, he realized now with a shock. He felt guilt for forgetting why he wanted you under constant surveillance—he’d forgotten for the sake of his selfishness. “yeah, i’m stressed about him. anyway, you need rest.”

You smiled, still blushing a bit. _i love it when they look like this_. He thought, feeling a comfortable warmth in his magic. He smiled back, and got up, offering a hand to you. You took it without hesitation, turning the DVD off. He held your hand for a moment before guiding you through the shortcut. The room was still dark, and he turned the light on quickly, afraid you’d be uncomfortable with him alone with you in his room with the light off.

You sat on the bed and looked up at him. “Did you mean it?”

For a moment, he was terrified you were reading his mind, and floundered. “mean what?”

You looked away. “About the massaging thing?” You asked, voice barely audible.

He sighed internally of relief. “yeah, of course.”

He massaged your calves this time. You lay on your stomach, arms folded under the pillow while he kneaded and rubbed the tension from your legs, and when he finally looked up from the task he noticed you were out cold. He hadn’t even got to talk to you much after the knots were worked out. Whether it be from exhaustion or the relaxing sensations, you were out like a light. He took the time to study your scars a bit. He still felt the bite of his anger, but also, he was curious. He traced his phalanges across the markings gently.

He could almost believe that there was a scar for every time he could remember dying. That upset him more—he realized that perhaps you thought of your abuser every time you saw these scars. He asked himself why you’d stayed with the bastard. He then realized that if you hadn’t stayed, he would have never met you. How selfish was he to be thankful for such a horrible thing? He hated himself for even thinking it. He reminded himself that each of these scars were injuries you’d borne to end up here.

He remembered your words, again. “Every moment we exist, every experience we have… it influences us. We’re clay, being molded by the world around us. We become something different, something new, with each thought, each idea, each pain. We can’t change what has already molded us, but we can influence ourselves, and look forward to what we can become, rather than look at how we might have started.”

His fingers traced the scars again, and he sighed. “i hope you know you’re beautiful.” He whispered. “in every way.” He gently moved from under your legs and covered you up. You rolled over, facing away from him, and let out one of those tiny murmurs that he’d come to love. Again, he found himself reaching out, and he allowed himself to, this time. He touched your hair, and you listed into his touch with a small noise. His magic surged in his bones. What was this feeling?

He didn’t have enough courage to say it aloud yet. “good night, shale.” He said instead, and left the room, turning the light off as he left.

 

* * *

 

Asgore wandered Snowdin. It looked different, he noted. There were more buildings. One of them had “Grillby’s” In huge letters over it, and he popped inside. It was empty and dark, and so he left, even more aggravated. The fact that his friend wasn’t here chilled him more than the snow. He wondered if Grillby had given up like the rest of the Veterans. He honestly couldn’t blame him. Asgore had seen his share of battle, yes, but Grillby had been the ultimate berserker. Asgore knew how heavily his sins wore on him, despite the fact he’d never shattered a soul.

Asgore laughed humorlessly to himself and headed for Waterfall. “Gaster hates me because I didn’t show mercy to a human. Because I had to be strong for all three of us. Then, and now. I’ve always had to be the one with blood on my hands.” He wanted to cry, but no tears came.

Something was wrong, he knew. There was something terribly wrong and he couldn’t place his finger on it. Something was telling him that he needed to find Tori immediately. Even if she were to stomp him out, he didn’t care at this point. He… was DETERMINED to find her.

~~Two Days until Love Day.~~


	23. It's Raining Cookies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alphys's fanfiction continued, training, and serious talk with Grillby.
> 
> Also, there's a link to the Playlist that shows Sans's favorite CD. Feel free to listen to cheesy 80's love ballads with Snas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is your daily disclaimer. I do not own any music in this fic, unless explicitly stated otherwise. (there will be one eventually, if I ever find time to work on it.) I also do not own any character in the fic (unless shale counts? idek it's just your nickname. YOU own you.)

You woke up refreshed, if nothing else. Your legs weren’t perpetually cramping. You got up and changed into your training clothes, unsure when Undyne would be around to throw you around outside. You knew Alphys would be posting the third chapter of her fic this morning at some point, and wanted to get some coffee before then.

When you left the room, you glanced down at Sans, and— well, he was asleep. But he looked stressed out. You checked your phone. Six in the morning. If he was having a nightmare, would it be best to wake him? You went downstairs and sat down in front of the couch quietly. You weren’t sure if you should wake him—you knew how little sleep he got.

However, he seemed to calm down a bit. You heard him mutter. “please…” almost brokenly. The rest was so jumbled you couldn’t understand it. You could feel his fear, though, and were beginning to reach out to wake him when he jolted and sat up. His sockets empty of light, not breathing, he just sat there, staring off before realizing you were there.

“shale?”

You smiled and waved weakly at him. “Rough night? You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” You said. “But you know I’m here.”

You went to get up but he grabbed at your wrist. “not yet, please.” He begged.

You were confused, but… if it was the kind of nightmare he’d told you about before, he needed to know what was going on right now was real. You nodded, and sat down, letting him continue to hold your wrist. He made himself breathe again, and you sat there in silence together as he gathered himself.

“shale, what would happen if you woke up on the surface? like none of this had ever happened?”

You blinked at him. “I’d come back. Duh.”

“but what if you don’t remember us?”

You sighed. “Well, I think I’d end up here anyway. That won’t happen, though, Sans. I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

“shale, no… what if… just hear me out. what if there was something that could erase your knowledge of us, and you would still be up there with that fucking prick…” He trailed off. “i wouldn’t be able to help you.”

You laughed lightly. “Hey, Sans?”

He looked up and met your eyes.

“No matter what, I’ll always find you. Okay? Promise.”

“you can’t promise that.” He argued.

“I just fucking did. Hold me to it, okay?” You said, smile hitching. It was infectious. Sans’s smile became crooked. _sweet christ, i just…_ He reined himself in, just in time. _i don’t deserve you._ Had he been about to try to kiss you? Truly?! Since when had he become so impulsive? “Sans?” You had an odd look on your face. He had been staring into your eyes again, hadn’t he? Fuck, he needed to stop doing that.

“yeah?”

“Get up or I’ll tickle you.”

He took an immediate shortcut away. “nope.”

You laughed and got up as well, looking around for him. Of course, he was nowhere to be seen, but that didn’t stop you from going through the doorway to the kitchen and finding yourself standing in his lab. He threw his jacket over your head, so you wouldn’t see his project. You just giggled.

“Hey, so, while I read this, put on some music.” You said, taking your now regular seat next to the counter where he worked, facing away, staring at your phone. “Your choice, this time.” You added.

He shrugged and hit the play button. “fine by me.”

The first [song ](https://youtu.be/0R-FGchhwLw?list=PLhzv9ei369KnIUxoTulsENIIw9sTHaXGK)that came on made you startle a bit. Instantly recognizable, you found yourself staring at the tiny stereo and blushing. To busy your mind, you opened the fic’s newest chapter on your phone and began reading it to avoid singing along. It didn’t help, but it made you unaware that you were doing so—made you unaware that he was listening intently to you, face darkened by a heavy shade of blue, smile gentle and wide. You were unaware of your lovesick audience.

 

* * *

* * *

Shale stepped out of the dark, even clumsier than usual, as they weren’t used to their heavy feet, especially as they differed greatly in shape and balance to human feet (Writer’s note: to anyone curious what human feet look like, structure wise, there is a link at the end of the chapter. There’s also a link to a real-life picture of Birdy as Shale, as well, for those of you who haven’t seen). They flailed their wings for balance, smacking Sans and nearly sending him sprawling, but he resisted the blow.

Mettaton managed to blush heavily, and backed away to appraise the tall, draconic, and utterly primal-looking monster. “Well, do you… sound the same?”

“I guess?” Birdy said, and Sans shrugged wearily and exited the curtained room as well.

Papy and Undyne immediately began investigating the finer details of the form, like how far Undyne could throw them, or how easily Papy could climb them. Papy exclaimed that the horns were like the arms of a chair, and thusly Shale was stuck with a tiny skeleton clinging to their head, grasping their horns and jerking them around by them.

Sans at last pried his brother from Shale’s head, only to have the childlike skeleton cling to him instead. With a sigh of acceptance, he sat down and began working on his bookkeeping while Papy entertained himself. The twins were by far the most fascinated, and began closely investigating Shale’s wings, pulling at them, until Shale finally threw them off for causing them pain. The brothers cuddled each other, melodramatically complaining that they had been hurt, and the only cure was brotherly love.

“Are they always like that?” Shale asked.

Undyne chuckled and put her arm around Shale’s shoulders, flexing her biceps in a way that was supposed to intimidate them. Needless to say, it didn’t work. Because Birdy is incapable of the entirely necessary human emotion of fear. (Writer’s note: I am actually afraid sometimes that they’re an alien. Check at the bottom for proof.) “Only all the time.” She responded. Shale made eye contact with Undyne, and she growled. “Just remember I can still erase you if I want to.”

Shale only laughed and pulled away from the pressure of Undyne’s exceptional biceps. Papy had fallen asleep, and Undyne picked him up and settled him on her broad shoulders. He didn’t wake up. Mettaton was still blushing in the corner, for once at a loss for words.

Sans closed the book, sighed, and got up. “So you’re a host now. If you can seduce more people than Mettaton, we’ll forgive your debt.”

“Wait, what?!” Shale exclaimed, hopping back from the skeleton.

Undyne guffawed at their reaction. “Hell, I’d be surprised if they could even seduce ANYONE.”

Mettaton fanned himself and pointed to his face. He mouthed the words “Me, please?” Shale did not see, because they were staring at Sans.

“Sans, that’s hardly fair. I don’t want to seduce anyone!”

He groaned in aggravation. “Look, all you have to do is make people want to date you. Seduce is a strong word, sure, but blame the guy who uses it!” He pointed to the panting robot.

Said robot reached in Shale’s direction. “Take me…”

Shale blushed heavily and shook their head vehemently. “How can this day get any more awkward?”

Sans poked at their wing sockets. “You need to learn how to use your body.” He commented. “You’re worse than a newborn right now.”

Mettaton volunteered loudly to help Shale learn how to use their body, but Sans silenced them. “The best way for them to learn is to make them do tasks.”

An hour later: “So I’m the errand person after all?” Shale groused, finally collapsing from exhaustion. Sans filtered his magic into the false form from a few feet away. “I mean, it’s hardly fair to make me be both.”

The others were occupied, and so it was only Shale and the darkly smiling skeleton. Sans sat down next to them, chuckling maliciously. “Out of curiosity, do you know how to swim?”

“Like this?” Shale gestured to their body, still managing to do that incredulous eyebrow thing they do. “Can I, even?”

“Well, maybe. I’m eager to find out.” He said, eye-lights glinting.

“You’re creepy.” Shale said, but honestly felt that maybe that was an overreaction. There was something about that focused stare they found quite arousing.

* * *

* * *

 

“Jesus fucking Christ, Alphys!” You blurted and released your phone. Sans startled, dropping whatever tool he had been using.

“whadafuk” He stammered. You had just been singing along casually, and then suddenly erupted. He moved around and caught sight of your face. You glanced up at him, eyes wide, and he studied you for a brief moment, trying to decipher what that expression was. You blushed heavily and raked through your hair with your hand, using the movement to hide your face. “shale? you okay there?”

You turned toward the wall, setting your forehead against it and making yourself breathe. You didn’t want to admit that Alphys was right—but apparently she had known already. That piercing look, full of intelligence and intent… “It’s nothing, haha… _haaa_ …” Gods, when he’d looked at you just now… Yeah, there was no doubt about it. That was an appropriate word for the feeling, and you hated that Alphys had just indirectly made you notice it.

“not buying it.” He said, and used his magic to retrieve your phone. He couldn’t unlock it, since he couldn’t use the touchscreen. With a stroke of brilliance, he grabbed a small anti-static cloth meant for cleaning sensitive electronics, and used it to bypass the lock screen. You didn't have a password setting, so it was easy enough.

Before he could read it, you snatched it from his hand. “Nosy!” You cried out.

“c’mon, i can read it whenever i want to on _my_ phone.” He reminded.

“It’s just… please, I just can’t.” You pleaded desperately.

He shrugged and turned back to his project. “fair enough.”

You were almost afraid to continue reading—but that didn’t stop you from doing so anyway.

 

* * *

* * *

He smiled back but didn’t respond otherwise. “Go meet and greet the guests. Remember that you’re doing this to pay off your debt, and if you don’t do it, you’re gonna have a bad time.” (Writer’s note: He says this a lot. Anyone else notice this? I asked him why once, and he said it was a meem, whatever that is.)

Shale, even though they weren’t afraid or intimidated by him, decided to humor him. Besides, wouldn’t it be fun to taunt people with this godly new form? How hard could it be to seduce people when you look like a draconic wet dream? (Writer’s note: Undyne, you know it’s true, don’t even deny it. Mettaton wasn’t the only one drooling. Everyone was. Except you, of course.)

* * *

* * *

 

“Sans, everyone thought I was hot.” You didn’t know what to do with this information.

He managed to stop himself from his initial reaction. He had almost asked why the past tense. “whadaya mean?”

“Apparently, when I was disguised for Dancing Day, I became… the most fantasized-about monster in our circle of friends?”

Sans’s pinpricks disappeared.

“What?”

“nothing. nothing at all.”

“Also, what’s your favorite meme?”

He jerked, pinpricks suddenly back, and looked at you excitedly. Without missing a beat, he replied, “all of them.”

“Then how the hell did you not know about rick-rolling?”

He shrugged. “i experienced memes for two weeks, shale. two weeks.”

You nodded in concession. “Okay, I’ll cut you some slack.”

You turned back to the total train wreck on your phone.

 

* * *

* * *

 

Shale took to the customers very well—or rather, they took to Shale. Bratty and Catty were the first to switch their regular host from Mettaton to Shale, but Shale’s fanbase exploded when Shale serenaded them. They almost fainted right then and there. Mettaton couldn’t bring himself to be upset, as he swooned as well. The twins swooned, but that was to each other’s advances. Their patrons cried out at the display. All was normal. Well, as normal as it could be, considering Mettaton’s fanbase had shrunk to a startling low and Shale had soared to instant popularity.

The days passed eventfully but I’m tired of writing canon events, so I’m just going to skip to something interesting. Forgive me!!! (None of you have seen the anime anyway, except Undyne, and I know she doesn’t like repetition!)

*Ahem!

WILL SHALE HAVE TO SWIM IN FRONT OF THEIR ADORING FANS? WHY THE HELL DID SANS EVEN ASK THAT? Find out next chapter!

(also, i'm too tired right now to put those links. Check back later.)

* * *

* * *

 

Sans stayed to watch you fight for a while, and each time you looked over at him, you were thrilled to see the pride on his face. Both of you were surprised when Grillby motioned Sans over, and told him perhaps it was time for you to learn to dodge. You both protested, but Grillby reminded Sans that his attacks were pretty feeble, even with intent to kill. You stared Sans in shock. “i can still _kill_ , grillbz.”

“If you _try_ to.” He reminded harshly. “I don’t think that will be a problem though, as you are too ‘lazy’. And seeing as how they can’t keep their eyes off of you anyway, I think it’s quite appropriate you be the one to train them.”

“grillbyyyy.” The fire elemental was taunting him. He knew damn well it wasn’t laziness that kept him from fighting you. He just never wanted to be the one to hurt you, not after all he knew you’d been through.

A chant of “DO IT! DO IT!” came from the crowd. You came closer and whisper-yelled to Sans. “Just _do it!_ Follow your _dreams_!”

He cracked up, looking at you as if to ask if you were sure. You just grinned wider, and he shrugged. “guess you’re gonna have a bad time, then.”

“Oh, gods, you _do_ say it.” You mumbled, trying not to laugh.

He was suddenly further away, standing idly. You watched him, waiting for him to move. For a moment, he hesitated, tensing up and staring at you, pinpricks darting to Grillby.

“i can’t do it.” He said quietly.

Grillby’s flames danced higher as he laughed. “As precious as that is, Sans, it is for their continued growth as a fighter. They are strong enough to—” His eyes met yours again, and you nodded, smiling encouragingly. You looked at the sword in your hand. It was beautiful, but right now… You let go of your magic, and he rescinded his own. It was so much easier to do that when the two of you were of a same mind, you noticed. Grillby had quit talking and was staring at the scene as it unfolded in quiet fascination. The crowd was also of this mind. The silence was deafening.

Unarmed, you faced him. He put his hands in his pockets, had his eyes closed, and you noticed his smile falter. You thought of barriers, of bubbles, of anything that would shield you. With that thought, you focused your magic into the mental image, splayed your palms out. There was a haze that emerged around your hands as you swept them around you and hummed.

Sans could see the glow of your magic, saw what you were doing, and nodded. His eye turned blue, the other pinprick disappearing, and light blue light engulfed his left hand. Bones encircled him, floating, and you were counting them when you realized they were being hurled your way. The first one hit your shield, and bounced off with a noise like thumping a ripe melon. You laughed despite yourself, and he grinned back.

The next one hit as well with the same result, but his smile hitched. Suddenly, you were surrounded, and little thumping noises were filling the air as you were assaulted at all sides and angles. One at a time was nothing, but this was distracting. And the more bones that hit the shield the harder it became to focus.

He was testing your limits, you realized. To save energy, you shrunk the bubble-shield to fit closer around you. He ceased the onslaught, and you looked around curiously. Instead of bones, you saw something else, now. Shadows dancing where shadows hadn’t been before. Then they were gone, and you looked back at Sans, who looked nervous. “heh, you should try attacking from in there. does it work?” He said, trying to mask his uneasiness.

You nodded and tried to focus. You couldn’t get your magic to manifest in more than just the barrier, you felt. It was something else you needed to use. The magic you were using to protect yourself was different from the magic you’d use to attack. Like two separate entities, mashed into one. You put your hands in a time-out formation, and Sans relaxed. You let your barrier fall, and you steadied your breathing. Using your magic like that was tiring as hell.

Grillby passed you a bottle, and without looking at it you took healthy chug. Afterward you winced, feeling the burn of alcohol complement the feeling of electricity that came with magical hard-liquor. Well, the effect was almost immediate, in any case. Your reserves of energy were suddenly immense. You handed the bottle back to Grillby, who chuckled and took it gladly.

Sans waited until you caught your bearings and then you said you were going to try something different. You needed to focus your energy offensively, and you weren’t sure how to do that, since until then, you’d mostly used emotions to control your magic.

“maybe you should sing something angry?” He suggested.

You laughed. “Do you think that will work?”

“what’s dumber? trying when it sounds stupid, or not trying and it being possible?”

You nodded. “Okay, yeah, fine. Lemme think of an angry song.”

“sure.” You smiled wickedly, remembering… and the energy swimming in you from the drink supplied just the right kick that made your magic respond immediately. Your amplifier began making noises of hissing protest. You hushed it as you recalled the song. Sans was visibly becoming more nervous. “shale?”

You were giggling, and you reached out for the bottle again. Grillby didn’t hand it over, and you sighed but didn’t argue. Your magic was already overflowing, anyway. Could you remember all the words? Yes, you could! Your smile widened, and Sans’ pinpricks were gone. “grillby what did you give them?”

“Nothing malicious, I assure you.” He said, catching the mood.

The amplifier continued to make hissing noises, and you didn’t try to stop it. Slowly, the hissing became words, whispering in the background. You had one chance, you knew, to pull this off. Looking up at Sans and his absent pinpricks, you hoped he would be able to handle this.

You were swimming with energy, and there was [music ](https://youtu.be/uriJOsWy_zU?t=16)building behind you. “Yes, this is _perfect_!” You cried out, and wielded the magic to throw it at him as you performed the song, a wild smile on your face. Luckily, Sans was too busy dodging your attacks to properly hear the words, and so—  
  
“Flying on the backs of flaming horses, we’ll ride into your town and leave nothing but corpses! I’ll kill your dad and scream obscenities! The streets will flow with the blood of our enemies!” He was still dodging, and you noted that he avoided looking at you when he could. His eye lights were still out, and he was sweating.

“Death and destruction are all around. We’re motherfucking evil and we’ll never slow down. We are the nightmares you should be afraid of.” You almost laughed, but managed to keep a straight face as you continued. Sans was tired, you realized. You reined in your magic quickly, so as not to actually harm him. “There is just one thing we love and that’s _COOKIES_!”

Sans stared at you as your magic pelted him with harmless cookie-shaped pellets. “wat.”

“COOKIES! YAA _AA_ AY!” You cried, and titters could be heard from the parts of the audience that weren’t too shocked to respond. “COOKIES! Pass the milk, please! Everybody loves cookies, hooray!”

There was a hiss as Grillby sat down hard in the snow and poured the remnants of the alcohol directly onto his face, making a _fwoooosh!_ sound. He was laughing so hard you thought he would die. Did that count as waterboarding himself, or…?

You cut the music off and looked at Sans scornfully. “You really think I would full-on attack you?”

His pinpricks finally came back, and he noticed the crowd. He looked back at you, smile crooked but still uneasy. “that was all fake?”

“Acting.” You reminded him. “Didn’t scare you, did I?”

Grillby finally managed to quit laughing. You honestly didn’t know what to think of his laughter. It was rumbling, and it shook his entire form as he sat on the ground, eating away at the snow around him. The laughter you’d heard before had been composed, sultry, gentle—this was the laugh of a warrior in his cups. He still had that **smoldering** quality to him, yes, but it was rougher, less poised. He was raw.

“That’s enough for today.” He breathed, still trying to compose himself. Sans was still just standing and staring at you, panting from the exertion.

You walked toward the skeleton, and showed him your empty hands. “I know you’re probably uncomfortable, and stuff.” You said softly. You expected him to back away, to ask you to stop. He didn’t.

“i got dunked on.” He muttered and closed the distance, putting an arm around your shoulders.

“Eww references.” You said sarcastically. “I think I broke Grillby.”

The fire elemental was indeed still laughing his flaming ass off. “yep, i think you’re right.” Sans called out to the crowd. “it’s over, guys. time to pack it up!”

The crowd was too busy taking pictures of the two of you. You laughed. “Let ‘em dream, bonehead.” His smile hitched higher into that crooked grin that you thought looked devilish. Not for the first time, you wondered what his face felt like when it emoted. He was a skeleton, so… Hell, one day you’d work up the courage to ask in a totally-not-awkward way, hopefully. How would that work? _Hey, Sans, lemme touch your face! It looks weird and I wanna see if it FEELS weird, too._ Yeah, that would definitely work.

Grillby finally got off the ground, saw the two of you and nodded in approval. Sans took his arm back, and you tried not to let on that you were disappointed. “shale, do you mind hanging with grillbz for a few? i gotta wrap things up, do some testing. don’t want you to see it.”

 _The present-thing. Oh yeah._ “Sure thing. Just don’t keep me there all night! I wanna game with you tonight.”

He chuckled and waved as he walked back toward his house.

You followed Grillby silently to the bar, and when you got in, you saw something you thought you never would. Grillby did a fucking _victory dance_. He grabbed your hands and spun you around with a victorious laugh.

“What the hell got into you?” You asked.

“Shale, I don’t think you understand just how big a deal this all is.”

“You’re right. What am I missing here, and why are you acting all Disney-princess-like? It doesn’t… fit what I thought you would do.”

“I’m also inebriated.” He admitted. “But it certainly makes it easier to…” He trailed off. You followed his gaze. Oh, your arms were exposed. He was staring at the burn scar on your wrist. “D-did I do that to you?”

“No, it’s been there for a long time now.” You said.

“Why have I not noticed— _oh_.” He began noticing more and more. “When…?” His expression hardened. “Who?” This last was an almost guttural growl.

“Fuck, Grillby!” You cried out, but he continued to scrutinize your face, waiting impatiently for an answer. “Some dickhead on the surface.”

“Merely ‘some dickhead’? Might I inquire if he is still breathing?” Holy shit, since when did Grillby become your father?

“As far as I know, yes.” You were sulking. You really didn’t like the direction the conversation had gone. Grillby approached the bar, and you thought of leaving, but knew he’d just probably drag you back. “Why does it matter, anyway? Just some dumb, abusive human.”

“Does it hurt still?” He asked, gesturing to your arms. “The scars? Do they pain you?”

 _Oh, how sweet._ You thought, only somewhat dryly. “No, you could say they’re almost cosmetic at this point. I mean… sometimes they hurt, though. Like they’re crawling on me, or something. Like when I’m having a nightmare. Or panic attacks.”

Grillby took a deep breath, held it and then released it slowly. “So this person had the… testicular fortitude to hit you, to mark you…”

“ _Testicular fortitude?_ You mean the balls?” You couldn’t help it, you laughed. “Wow, I’ve never heard someone eloquently say that phrase before! That’s a marketable skill right there.”

He glared back at you. “How can you laugh about this?”

You shrugged. “Well, the way I see it, I didn’t die, y’know? He couldn’t entirely break me… and now… well, I feel better now than I think I ever had. I like the person I am, for the most part. Yeah, sometimes the scars bother me, but then I remind myself that I wouldn’t be the same person with the same experiences if I had somehow managed to avoid him.”

“If I ever again find the sunlight, I will obliterate him. Slowly.”

You laughed. “Well… you’re not the first person to say that. Undyne called dibs first, then Sans. I appreciate it, I really do… but he’s not worth the trouble. Killing him would only create problems.”

“Not if they never find the body.” He growled.

“Holy shit, Fireball, chill the fuck out!”

“How can you defend the man who consistently hurt you?” He demanded, flames dancing ever higher.

“Dude, I’m _not_ defending him. In a way, I think this is poetic justice, you know? If I get back to the surface, it’ll hurt him so much more to see that I’m so happy after he left me for dead. Let him suffer with his fucked up soul.”

“I was about to applaud your tenacious mercy, but now I see your point. However, I will still scar his body beyond recognition as a warning to others he could potentially abuse.”

After a moment's thought, you nodded. “That might be a good call. As long as no one catches you, hypothetically, that’s a cool idea.”

Grillby stared at you, and you knew he was smirking. “It's true that humans are chaos. I can’t predict you at all.” Having said that, he clutched at his head. “Ah.” It was a pained hiss that escaped him, his flames smoldering slightly.

“What’s up, Fireball? Already getting a hangover?” You moved closer, as if that would help whatever was going on here. What else could you do, though?

“No.” His voice was soft. “I just… have feelings of déjà vu sometimes… and it pains me.”

Sans had said that Grillby and Gaster had been friends before the war had started. It clicked into place for you. Should you say something? No, you remembered Sans telling you that the more Alphys heard about Gaster, the more likely she was to lose her sanity—perhaps the same applied to Grillby? You didn’t want to take the chance.

“There, there, Fireball. Just… I don’t know, go get some sleep.”

“I need to keep watch for danger.”

“Wait, what?”

“That would be why you’re constantly in someone's capable sight at all time, correct? There is something wrong. I don’t know what it is, but I don’t need to.” He sighed, “In any case, would you like to talk about something else that doesn’t make my head throb?”

“Ehh,” You cringed. You had so many questions now, but they died on your lips. “Umm, so you enjoyed my special attack?”

He nodded. “Yes, it was very entertaining. However, I couldn’t help but notice your magic changes color based on your intention.”

“Is that not normal?”

“Not even for humans, that I’m aware. Though I suppose they could have mutated since the last—ah!” He held his head again. “Agh… it’s getting worse.”

“Change in topic?” You asked, your worry beginning to make you panic.

“No, it’s important. Your magic normally appears as a dark burgundy, like wine, when you sing normally. When you use it defensively or in conjunction with Sans’s magic, it is violet. When it is used offensively, it appears crimson.”

“Huh. That’s weird. I hadn’t even noticed.”

“You were otherwise preoccupied.” He groaned into his hand. “I don’t understand the relevance of cookies, but that was honestly the opposite of what I was prepared for.”

“I won’t hurt him.” You said harshly.

“I understand that.” He said, looking up at you again. “And I appreciate that. I wouldn’t have trusted you to fight him if I believed otherwise. However, if you wouldn’t mind telling me why you feel the way you do?”

“He’s my best friend?” You said, giving him an ‘are you kidding me’ look.

“Is that all it is? Do not worry, I won’t tell Sans.” He looked awful hopeful for a man who was cradling his head from pain.

You put your face in your palm. “Look, Grillby, I don’t think there’s anything else between us.”

“You’re lying and we both know it.”

“Be that as it may, you’ll know if anything changes.” You said firmly. “Please don’t pry.”

He nodded solemnly. “Alright, Shale, but… If you don’t mind, I believe I do indeed need to rest. Will you call Sans and ask him to cut it short for the night?”

You nodded. “Yeah, sure, man. Get some rest.”

He nodded in thanks and went deeper in the bar. You heard a door close somewhere, and you pulled out your phone.

 

* * *

 

It was working! Sans was immensely proud of himself. Now the next problem would be figuring out the disk tray, and how to get it to work properly. As well as the internal storage disk. Memory cards were overrated, anyway.

He was halfway through unplugging the machine when his phone started ringing. “what’sa matter, shale. you get **bonely** without me?”

“Ha. Sure. Grillby has a headache, and so I need to come back sooner than expected. I mean, unless you want me to just wander around out here… I still need a shower, too, man. Please let me come h—to your place.”

His magic surged in his bones. “what was that?”

“Fuck off, I’m tired.” Your voice softened. “I’m also really worried about Grillby. He’s… acting weird. He keeps gripping his head. I think… we need to talk about this somewhere quiet.”

“ah, shit.” Sans rubbed at his forehead roughly. “yeah, sure. come on. i’ll have everything put up by time you get here.”

“Thanks, Sans.” You shut off the phone without saying goodbye. Hurriedly, Sans gathered up the console apparatus and took a shortcut to the lab. He took inventory of everything, and then had a thought.

“where the hell is paps?” He took his phone back out and called his brother.

“YES?” His brother answered wearily.

“yo, paps, are you okay? haven’t seen or heard anything from you all day.”

“I AM DOING BUSINESS WITH MUFFET, BROTHER, AS WELL AS WORKING ON A MOST VEXING PUZZLE. I WILL BE HOME WHEN MY PROJECTS ARE DONE.”

“whatcha workin on?” He asked amiably.

“YOU’LL KNOW SOON ENOUGH. IT WILL OUTSHINE ANY OTHER GIFT GIVEN ON LOVE DAY.”

“uhhh, who’s it going to?” He ground his teeth. “mettaton?”

“NYEH?! OF COURSE NOT! METTATON AND I ARE RIVALS!”

He sighed internally, but then realized what was that likely meant and cringed. “bro, don’t tell me…”

“WE ARE BOTH ROOTING FOR YOU. MAY THE BEST MONSTER WIN.”

“this isn’t a game, paps.”

“IT IS NOT, I AGREE. HOWEVER, I AM SURE THE HUMAN WILL APPRECIATE MY GIFT THE MOST.”

“we’ll see, won’t we? after all, i am the one they’ll be spending that day with.”

“PLATONICALLY, YES. YOU ALREADY TOLD ME SUCH. UNLESS YOU ARE SAYING YOU LIED ABOUT THE PLATONIC NATURE OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP?”

 _fuck, he has me in a corner here._ Sans thought, and scraped at the back of his skull harshly. “nah, i guess it’s platonic.”

Papyrus let out a joyous laugh. “DON’T HAVE TOO MUCH FUN WHILE I’M OUT, BROTHER.”

The line died in his hand and Sans stared at the phone with a browbone raised. “too much fun?” Why did that phrase fill him with dread?

 

* * *

 

Asgore wasn’t used to the echo flowers being the same size as he. He touched one and listened to the voice he’d never heard before. Every one of them thus far had been unfamiliar. Where were his friends? Unbeknownst him, he passed Gerson’s shop without a thought. Gerson was snoozing quietly and so didn’t notice the golden flower with the wicked face pass him by, crawling along the ground, resembling an octopus, using his summoned vines to drag himself along fluidly.

Like Snowdin, the layout of Waterfall had become frighteningly unfamiliar. Every now and then, he heard laughter, but when he’d turn to seek it out, it disappeared. He was beginning to feel threatened, and it didn’t sit well with him.

He wasn’t familiar with the current state of his magic. It bothered him that he couldn’t summon forth his weapon—but with what hands would he firmly grasp it? In any case, he focused on moving forward, propelled from within by the burning thrum throughout his form. In every sense of the phrase, Asgore was filled with DETERMINATION.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, guys, sooo I already have seven pages written for the next part. I had to break it up a bit. Just a warning, it will be... different. There will be dicks involved, but not in the way you think. Get ready for the embarrassment of a lifetime! Are you ready to be filled with HUMILIATION?


	24. It's Raining Nose Blood and Regret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winding down after training with Sans. Oops, awkward scenarios. Including: Botched Kiss, learning how to make Phantom Limbs, walking in on Alphyne-fun. AND SO MUCH MORE(?)
> 
> WARNING: This is explicit. If you don't like dick mentions, you might want to skip this chapter. You admittedly won't miss too much? Someone back me up on that. (NOT SEXUAL, really. just... dicks.)
> 
> Edit: 5/23/16: I put the things in there. I also changed a tiny detail. Maybe no one will notice... If you want to skip the part with penis-mention, look for the asterisk trio. Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY, another two-in-one kind of day. Hope you guys like it. I am literally half asleep and am the physical incarnation of pain. I want to sleep for years-- but I won't, because I have a fuckton of plot to dump on you guys. SO ENJOY!

You were in the shower when a thought occurred to you. “Shit, I need to talk to Alphys.” When you got out, you dialed her and put it on speaker while you dried and dressed. “Hey, Al. I wanted a status update on those files? You’re on speaker, and I don’t know if he could hear, but be as vague as possible, kay?”

“Uh? S-sure?” She said. “I managed to r-rip the audio without damaging the disk. Just like you said. It’s a lot to go on one CD, though.”

“Can’t you, I don’t know…” You paused for a moment. “Just take the most relaxing bits?”

“I’ll d-do my best, Birdy.”

“Thank you, Alphys. You know I wouldn’t ask anyone else.”

“So, uh… I needed to talk to you anyway.”

“Oh?”

“Muffet has already got Papyrus’s measurements. I need a way to get Sans to come up for measurements again. And you, if it’s okay?”

“What’s up?”

“Undyne and I are going to have our Formal. Papyrus is going to be Undyne’s First Hand…”

“Ah, I see.” You said, smiling. “So the First Hand is kinda like a best man or maid of honor, right?”

There was a heavy silence on the other end. “I-I don’t know what you mean.”

Oh yeah, human weddings. “When I come up for measurements, we’ll talk about traditions.”

“That sounds wonderful… I actually needed to ask you something important…”

“Uh…”

“It can wait until I see you, but it’s _really_ important… okay?”

“Hey, you’re worrying me, Al.”

“No, no… nothing bad…”

“If you say so. Anyway, thanks for your help, and good night!”

“Good night, Birdy.” She replied, and you both hung up.

Finally ready, you went downstairs to see Sans come out of his room with a change of clothes for himself. As he went in for a shower, he said, “they set a date, huh?”

“Yeah, and you’re gonna have to dress up.”

“hope it’s not a tutu this time.” He muttered, and shut the door behind him. You stared after him for a moment, smirking at the memory.

Downstairs, you hooked up the PS2 (it had been unplugged for some weird reason) and started up SSX. You began working toward unlocking the characters—it was also a good way to warm up. You didn’t even notice when Sans appeared next to you. You were laying on your stomach, legs bent and kicking in time with the background music of the game as you played. Sans lay on his stomach as well, and after you noticed him belatedly, you quit the race you were in and handed him the second controller.

It started innocently enough. You played totally unfair. You knew the shortcuts much better than he did, and although he was a quick learner, you knew the layouts by heart. There were only two stages you didn’t have down pat, and you’d be damned if he knew which ones they were. And every time you’d pass him, you would try to push him over.

Eventually, though, your luck ran out, and he passed you on one of those forbidden levels, pushing you down as he passed. “get dunked on.” he growled, and you shivered. What the fuck was that? He just _growled_ at you?

“Don’t you take that tone with _me_ you boney bastard.” You sassed back. You were off your game, and knew that you were probably going to lose this one. Unless you played dirtier. Distraction! You were still kicking your legs, and so he didn’t notice that you were moving your legs differently now, until you hooked your leg under one of his and tried to pull it off the ground.

Rather than distract him, this mostly just distracted you and hurt your leg muscles—his leg did not move. “How do you do that?”

“what?” He asked nonchalantly, putting further distance between your characters in the race.

“How do you just… not move?”

“heh heh. i guess i’m just too lazy to move.” He said. “if you keep trying, you might hurt yourself.”

“I don’t _get_ it!” You cried out, dropping the controller and grabbing his leg. “I _will_ make you move!”

You began tickling him. “gah!” he dropped his controller, too, and writhed as you assaulted him. His laugh was infectious, and you wanted to hear more. You wanted to see that crooked smile again. You didn’t know exactly what you were doing (he was literally a skeleton. The logic of him being ticklish was very questionable). All it took was a single moment of hesitation, and he grabbed your shoulders and flipped you, pinning you and tickling you, too. You held out as long as you could, but he was relentless.

You were snorting, tears forming in the corners of your eyes as you begged him for mercy. He quit at last, still hovering over you. Both of you were panting, his eyes were half-lidded, pinpricks dull.

Breathlessly, you whispered, “I made you move.” You grinned at him, and his gaze bore into yours and softened. You were suddenly aware of your position—and of his. Your heart stammered, and your mouth was dry. Now was not the time to—you reached out and touched his face, peering curiously at the bone structure. He leaned into the touch with a sigh, his eyes closing. “ah.” Words failed you. Your voice didn’t seem to want to cooperate.

You couldn’t help but marvel at the heavy and almost buzzing warmth of his face. His cheeks were dusted blue—you assumed that was the reason for the buzzing. Luckily, your breath had deserted you, or you might have voiced your thoughts. The last thing this situation needed was for you to blurt out that he was cute.

You weren’t the only one who didn't remember how to breathe. He looked into your eyes again, and you realized you’d been guiding him closer to you with your hand on his face. Your heart was hammering in your head, and you were trying to tell yourself this wasn’t a good idea— you looked away briefly. Normally, that would have broken the tension, but when you looked back, he was still there, eyes intently focused on you, pinpricks sharp and curious. He was studying you.

If it had been any other look, you might not have reacted as you did. But it was _that_ look.

You surged forward just as he did—and your nose and his skull collided in a most painful way.

“oh, shit, i didn’t mean to headbutt you.” He shot off of you like he’d been thrown. You cradled your face, and to your horror, you could feel the hot liquid already – “oh fuck, did i break your nose with my fucking skull?” He came closer and took your hands, moving them to look at the damage. “fuckfuckfuck your nose is bleeding!”

“Calm down, dammit!” You laughed, pinching the bridge and leaning your head up. What had just happened? You were shaking. Fuck, that was one way to break tension.

“hold still.” He said and grabbed you around the waist, hoisting you off the floor and against his body as he stood. Suddenly you were in Alphys’s lab. “alphys! help!”

“Goddammit, Sans, I’m fine!” You cried out, but then you looked over Sans’s shoulder, making eye contact with Undyne and Alphys as they struggled to cover themselves with the blanket they had probably been on top of. Mortified, you realized what they had been doing, if the hentai noises coming from the TV was any indication.

Sans noticed you had gone rigid and turned around to see what you were staring at. Undyne was the first to roar, “CAN YOU NOT JUST KNOCK?!” while Alphys covered her face and groaned dismally, “Ohhhnononono! Whyyyy?”

You and Sans made eye contact while Undyne was still screaming, and suddenly you were back in the Skelebros’ living room. You glared into his face. “Let us never mention this again.”

“they were having the **breast** time.” He said, eye sockets vacant of light, tone tight with stress. He cleared his throat and let go of you, stepping away and putting his head in his hands. When he looked back up at you, his smile was back, and so were his pinpricks of light. It was a nervous smile that didn’t seem genuine. “humans do things weird.” You gave him a puzzled look. He felt the need to add, “monsters don’t do it like that.”

“They were watching hentai.” You explained, and began marching upstairs to the bathroom. Sans looked a bit confused as to what he should do. “While I clean myself up, why don’t you explain the issue? No one has told me exactly what bonding entails, or what monsters do. I kinda got fucked over on the information deal—I gave explicit details as to how humans work.”

“i know. i read it.” He grumbled.

“I wonder why?” You snidely remarked, laughing when his cheekbones stained blue again. “Anyway, tell me how monsters fuck normally.”

“don’t say it like that.” He pleaded.

“Fine. Tell me how you _make da babies_.” You looked at his face and laughed.

“that’s not any better.” He muttered, not looking up at you. His face was even darker now, his smile hesitant.

“Just do science. Explain the science!” You prompted, relieved to see the blood had already stopped flowing freely from your nose. It wasn’t broken that you could tell—you’d suffered worse, after all. You went to work cleaning it off your face and trying to get it off your shirt when Sans joined you, standing in the doorway, looking more awkward and frustrated than you’d ever seen him.

“uhhh, well… see… bonding. two monsters touch their souls together, and they bond deeply and quickly. when they want to have children, they focus their soul energy, and after enough of it is gathered, it becomes separate, and…” He hesitated. “i don’t really understand it, since skeletons reproduce asexually. anyway, they—”

“That’s quite something to just gloss over.” You mused, interrupting him. “So where did you two come from?”

“our dad.”

“Oh yeah.” You forgot he had one of those.

“ _anyway_ ,” he repeated. “monsters focus all that energy, and it takes separate form, and once there’s enough there for it to produce its own magic, it takes physical form and becomes its own soul.”

“Sooo, there’s no pregnancy?”

He shrugs. “it varies from monster to monster. depends on the physiology and stuff.”

“Wow, that’s really weird.”

“says the human.” He chuckled. “i mean i guess we might seem weird to you, but you have no idea how weird human reproduction is to us.” He shuddered. “it sounds gross, it looks gross.”

“What?” You were laughing now, turning to him. He was surprised by your reaction. “Like, how much of it have you been looking at? It’s a lot different in practice.”

He jolted, “alphys showed me a book.” He wouldn’t look at you, and put his hood up in an attempt to hide his face. You knew better than to tease him further—you really didn’t want to upset him. He was absolutely humiliated. Even though you wanted to ask, you decided not to. Hell, maybe eventually you could ask Alphys to show you that book, see what the problem was.

“Well, since you were such a good sport about giving me the Talk, how about I tell you just how weird humans really are?”

He looked at you in utter relief, face still darkened with blush. “how weird are we talking?”

“How much do you know about **boners**?”

 

***

 

He groaned and turned away, marching toward the stairs. You used your magic to create the facsimile of two women talking to each other, as you focused more magic into your amplifier. Sans let out a cry of disbelief as the familiar [words ](https://youtu.be/JEl96I_4PuI)erupted from it, this time with musical accompaniment. The illusion-women began talking animatedly.

“OH MY GOD, STACY! Did I tell you about my date with Steve last week?” The first one called out.

“shale no.” Sans complained. “not again!”

“You went out with Steve?! He’s so cute!” The second one replied.

“I know! He took me out to this little restaurant—“

You focused on your magic and then danced out in front of Sans victoriously. “EVERYBODY SHUT UP! I have an erection!” Sans looked at you, and his pinpricks disappeared when he noticed you had focused your magic into making a dick, on the outside of your pants, just floating there, maroon and— _why were there veins?!_ “It only happens 87 times a day. Just stop what you’re doing and witness penis perfection. This is more important than what you have to say!” You pointed to it and danced, and Sans just backed away and put his head in his hands.

“Your story can wait, ‘cause I am very erect, now let’s all take a minute to watch my dick and reflect. Your spirit’s in peace, no need to call the police. Please hold your applause!”

The girls disappeared, and Sans rushed down the stairs to get away from you, trying desperately not to laugh. _of course the first phantom limb they’d learn to make is a dick. of fucking course._ He couldn’t bring himself to be upset. This was simultaneously the most hilarious and uncomfortable thing ever. There was an illusion of a man made up of your smoky magic, pacing while talking.

“In conclusion, your honor, in light of this new evidence, I would propose that the murderer was not my client but… Mrs. Donnovan!” The person pointed in Sans’s direction and you once again danced in front of him, the smoke person disappearing as you sang again.

“EVERYBODY SHUT UP! I have an erection.”

“shale, please stop.” He was laughing, but also… “seriously, put that away. what if paps came home?”

You pretended not to hear him. “If justice is blind, she’s gonna miss this display. It’s hard as steel but still evaded metal detection. This is more important than what you have to say!”

“i doubt that right now.” Sans groaned and tried to turn away, but you grabbed his shoulders and tried to spin him back around. Of course, he didn’t budge unwillingly, but he let you move him this time.

“Judge, don’t give me that robe, ‘cause then nobody could see this pillar of awesome that’s sticking straight outta me!” Shale stared deadpan into Sans’s sockets, and Sans cracked up. “WHO COULD ARGUE A CASE WITH SO MUCH DICK IN YOUR FACE?” Sans was guffawing, almost to the point of falling down. “Please hold your applause!”

“shale, please!”

The music cut off. “You okay, there, bonehead? The weird human kill you with the amazing penis song?” He was wheezing and had to sit down. “Dude, I know you don’t have to breathe, you can quit trying to stoke my ego.” You grumbled, and being as how it wasn’t physically attached to you, you grabbed the phantom limb and brought it up closer to your face to stare at it, turning it over in your hands. You snorted. “I didn’t realize how strange this looked.”

He glanced up at you, saw you staring in disgust at the maroon phantom penis in your hand and burst into more laughter. _why do i love this person? of all the things i could love, why this?_ He buried his face in the floor and begged death to come for him.

“Get up. Seriously, it’s not that funny.” He managed to get up. He stood uneasily, then tried to look anywhere but at you. “This is so weird. So I can literally make _anything_ out of my magic?”

“yep, and the first thing you made is a dick. so mature of you, shale.”

You didn’t even look up. You threw it at him, and he dodged.

_thwap!_

“HUMAN? I DON’T KNOW WHAT THIS IS, BUT I AM OFFENDED.”

“oh christ!” Sans cried. You looked up to see that you had hit Papyrus directly in the chest with your phantom penis, and you lost your composure immediately. It disappeared and you suddenly felt like falling over and dying.

“Uhh, Paps… it was just a weapon. We were battle training!” You attempted to explain, feeling shitty for lying—but not as shitty as you felt for literally _throwing your dick at him_.

“OH! WELL IN THAT CASE, THAT WAS A VERY INEFFICIENT WEAPON FORMATION. AND YOUR THROWING GREATLY NEEDS WORK.” Wait, was that… sarcasm?

Sans was standing near the stairs, and Papyrus walked past him. Sans almost died when he heard Paps mutter just low enough for Sans to catch, “I never imagined the human pitched.”

Sans tried to convince himself he was remarking on your throwing ability, but as Papyrus reached the hallway atop the stairs and turned back with a strange look to meet your eyes… “OH! I SOLVED THE PUZZLE TODAY, HUMAN!” He put his hands on his hips victoriously. “I ACCESSED HUMAN INTERNET!” He said—and the look in his eyes when he turned back to Sans made his whole body go dormant and cold with dread. “AND SOME NICE PERSON FROM TUMBLR INTRODUCED ME TO THE INTERNET! I HAVE SEVENTY FOLLOWERS!”

Sans couldn’t reply. “NOT TUMBLR!” You cried.

“I AM AN ADULT.” He reminded and went into his room. “AT LEAST THE HUMAN ISN’T A… ERM… _BAD DRAGON_.”

You let out a horrified squeak. Sans turned to you, dark sockets making you feel like your scars were swimming in your flesh. “shale, why did my brother hack into **h u m a n  i n t e r n e t**?”

“Sans, I didn’t know he’d do it on his own, I just asked if he would try. I didn’t say when, I had no idea.” He held his head, you sighed dismally. “Are you mad at me?”

He looked up at you, grin wry. “no, he always manages to get into something he shouldn’t. if not now, he would eventually have found it on the surface.” He tried to smile, but you could tell something was off.

“He made a pun.” You realized.

“what?”

“He said I wasn’t a bad dragon.” You said, and he watched you turn entirely crimson. “Sans… _don’t you know what that means_?”

“what’s bad dragon?”

You blushed heavier. “Irrelevant. It means someone showed him human porn!”

“i honestly could have guessed that.” He muttered, and took a shortcut to the couch. He face-planted into the pillows and let out a muffled, agonized yell.

 

***

 

“Umm, so, should one of us go talk to him?”

“i’m staying right here until i forget everything.”

“So forever, then?”

He didn’t respond. You turned to look at him, and realized he was already asleep. You were torn between amusement and concern. You’d let him sleep. It had been a busy day. Papyrus came out of his room, looked around, and made eye contact with you. He was trying way too hard to act casual, but you assumed it was because of that terrible, awkward thing that just happened not five minutes ago.

“Paps, do you have a moment?”

“ERR, NO. I AM SORRY, HUMAN, BUT I MUST GO PICK UP SPAGHETTI INGREDIENTS.”

He got out the door, and you stood there, thinking hard for a moment. Unless he was going to be using something exotic and unusual, he had all the ingredients here already. You double-checked to make sure you were right. You were.

“Huh. Secrets.” You grumbled, and let yourself out quietly, pulling on your jacket as you looked around. No footprints, you noticed—but you saw something. Smoke was curling around the doorframe of the shed. You grinned and headed that way. You expected it to be locked, but when you pulled the door handle, it slammed wide open, and Papyrus fell on you.

Apparently, Papyrus had been leaning on the door, cigarette in his chops. You were now staring at the glowing ember inches from your face. He was also on top of you. This had not been your best plan.

“HUMAN!” He blushed. “Oh, I’m so sorry, let me get up.” He pushed himself off the ground and then heaved you up to your feet while you still stared at that glowing ember. He took a long drag off of it and looked away from you. “I’m sorry, please don’t tell Sans.”

“That you fell on me? That was probably my fault, Paps. Don’t worry.”

“NO, NOT THAT.” He pointed at the cigarette between his fingers. You noticed he had taken his gloves off. It was odd to see his fingers, and even weirder to see him bring the cigarette to his face and take a deep drag from it, the smoke curling inside him visibly, as if held in by some invisible force, before he exhaled, and it all just drifted away, mostly from his mouth, nose, and eyes, but also from under his armor. “I promised him I quit.” He explained. “Years ago.”

“I’m a bit shocked right now. I had no idea you smoked!” It made sense, considering. He did have a slightly raspy voice—you just always assumed it was from his constant yelling.

“HUSH, HUMAN!” He said, and gestured into the shed. “IF YOU MUST YELL MY FLAWS TO ALL OF SNOWDIN, AT LEAST DO IT WHEN I’M IN A CONDITION TO REFUTE IT.”

You followed him into the shed, feeling the bite of his cynicism. “Hell, Paps, what was that about?” You asked. “Where’s the Great Papyrus?” You looked up at him hopefully. He took another, thankfully shorter, drag on the cigarette.

He sighed, the smoke avoiding you as if he’d built a wall around you. You realized he might be using his magic somehow, and silently thanked him. “You lied to me.” He sounded a bit hurt. You still didn’t know what to make of his lowered tone. It really brought out the raspy nature of his voice, and it made him sound different, older. You wondered briefly why he always tried to sound different when his natural voice sounded so… soothing, if dark.

“I’m sorry.”

“You’d do it again, though.” He said softly.

You rubbed your arm uncomfortably. “Probably. I just… don’t see you as…”

“An adult?” He finished your sentence, stepping closer, staring down at you intently. This was different than Sans’s gaze. This was a different intensity entirely. “Whether you or my brother believe it, I am, indeed, an adult. In all senses of the word. Holding your punches, treating me with kid gloves… it doesn’t make me happy.” His expression darkened. “I’m almost the same age as you.” He said. “I’d like to start being treated like it.”

You nodded. His expression brightened and he stubbed the butt out only to light another cigarette immediately after. He took a draw and sighed. “May I talk to you about something?”

“Uhh, yeah.” You said, sitting down against a wall, still trying to understand the swift change in Papyrus’s demeanor. You were fascinated, but you were starting to see something there that you hadn’t noticed before. The happy mask that he wore all the time—that was for everyone else’s sake. Sure, he was optimistic to a fault and naïve as hell… but when it came to faking a smile, he did it just as well as Sans. If not better, you realized.

“The humans on the Internet think I am a student animator. They think my pictures are fake.”

You shrugged. “That’s to be expected, Paps. They’re human. None of us have seen monsters in centuries. Humans don’t last more than one, normally.”

“Humans don’t believe in monsters?”

“No.” You said, but then backpedaled. “The ones that do are usually dubbed insane by society.”

He nodded. “I see.” He took another draw. “Human… one more question?” You nodded, and there was silence for a while as he took another deep drag, as if doing so would make asking easier. At last he hung his head and muttered. “You don’t have to answer me, but will you tell me what happened to you on the surface?”

He glanced over, and you felt his stare on your scars. _Not again._ You thought. “It’s no big deal, Paps. Some humans are bad, and they hurt people. I’m safe now, and that person is no longer relevant.”

Papyrus didn’t answer for the longest time. “Did you love him?”

You weren’t sure what surprised you more, the coldness in his voice, or the sensation that washed over you, which could only compare to being doused in ice-water. “That doesn’t matter.” You finally managed to respond.

Papyrus nodded. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked that.”

You tried to be angry, but all you felt was emotional exhaustion. You wanted to curl up in your own bed and sit in the dark for a while. But you weren’t allowed to go home right now, were you? Your mouth pressed to a hard line. “It’s fine, Paps. I’m going to bed, okay?” You walked toward the door. “I know those don’t effect monsters the same way they do humans…”

“I...understand it’s not a healthy habit.” He admitted, looking crestfallen. “HOWEVER!” You couldn’t help but smile at his façade. Even though now you were disillusioned, it was hard to tell. “I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, SHALL CONTINUE TO BETTER MYSELF—ON THE CONDITION YOU NEVER TELL SANS, OR ANYONE ELSE.”

“Sure thing, Paps.” You said, and gave him a one-armed hug on your way out. You left, and he took another deep drag before putting it out, dusting himself off, exhaling a cloud of smoke, and stepping out as well. He locked the shed and pulled his gloves back on. It took less energy, this time, to put that false smile on as he walked animatedly to his house.

 

* * *

 

_“ ~~ **Sans.**~~ ” The voice should have been calming. Instead, Sans felt a chill sweep through him and he struggled in his sleep. “ ~~ **We need to talk.**~~ ”_

Sans woke up to you shaking him gently, bent over him, eyes full of concern. “Hey, wake up.” Your voice was soft and he stared up at you. “You were…” You released his shoulders. “Kind of flailing a bit? And… I felt like you were…”

He shook his head. “i’m up. sorry if i scared you.”

You sighed. “No, that’s not…” You grabbed his shoulders again and pulled him into a hug. You forgot he was heavy, though. You lost your balance, and he caught you.

“what is it?” He whispered, and you felt the rumble of his voice on your skin. You shivered but didn’t try to regain your footing.

“I just… wanted to let you know I’m here. And you’re safe.”

“shale…”

“No. Just listen.” You told him, putting your arms around his neck and squeezing. “I care about you, okay? You’ve helped me out a lot, and… I wanna help you, too.” There was a companionable silence. Sans’s arms went around you as well, and he nuzzled into your shoulder with a sigh.

“’preciate it.” He whispered.

You swear you only blinked.

You woke up on his bed, covered up, once again hugging his jacket like a body pillow. “Dammit, Sans.” You muttered under your breath, and went out into the living room. He was there, playing GodHand, or so it seemed. You didn’t make a sound, just sat there, watching him as he played. At last, with a victorious grin, he said, “yess, it works!” and then turned it off.

He could feel your gaze, but he hadn’t been aware of it until he turned the console he’d built off. In the sudden darkness, his vision had surged and he could see—and you stood out, soul visible in his dark-vision. You were wearing his jacket over your night clothes. He blushed and looked up at you. “uh, you have a nightmare?”

You shook your head. “I’m sorry I fell asleep on you?”

He chuckled. “heh, i thought i was the one who was supposed to fall asleep randomly.” You muttered something under your breath. “what was that?”

“I said I felt safe.”

He had to force himself to breathe again. You were torturous. He wanted to tell you that, but that would break this cowardly wall he’d built around himself. If you saw how he really felt, it would change things, perhaps for the better, perhaps for the worse. He was starting to wonder if he’d hide behind fear forever.

You were beginning to come down the stairs, and he realized the present was just sitting here. Luckily, you couldn’t see it in the dark—but that brought another problem.

“shale, it’s dark, don’t.” You didn’t listen, and just as he’d feared, you tripped. With a sigh, you found yourself in his arms and he packed you back up the stairs. “you need to go back to bed.”

“I wanted to make sure you were okay.” You said. You were trying not to think too hard about him carrying you. You hesitantly put your arm around his neck to keep from jostling around too much as he packed you, bridal style.

“i’m fine, shale. i promise i’ll sleep here in a bit. i just got a tiny bit of cleaning up to do in the lab.”

“You promise?” You smirked. “You’ve been throwing that word around a lot.”

“it shuts you up.” He replied with a grin.

You were already half asleep when he laid you down a second time that night.

He hesitated at the door, wanting to say something, but ultimately deciding that it wasn’t time to say it—and if he didn’t figure out his own head, it never would be.

“Goodnight, Sans.” You whispered into his hoodie.

 

* * *

 

Asgore stared at the grey door as it creaked open. Should he enter? Whatever this was, it gave him chills. Malicious intent hit him in waves from beyond that door—and he had yet to manage to conjure his weapon. Whatever was beckoning him from beyond that door, he wanted no part of it right now.

It wouldn’t be long, now. Hotland wasn’t far off. Perhaps he should avoid Gaster for now? He’d probably detain him, and his priority was still Tori.

He made a noise he hoped was intimidating at the dark and opened door in front of him, and then scrambled away from it atop his mass of vines. The door closed, a much darker growl coming from within. “ _ ~~ **Sans. We need to talk.**~~_ ”

If Gaster had his way, Asgore would need all the DETERMINATION he could get. The Void is a harsh place for murderous souls.

~~One Day until Love Day.~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gaster, why you be calling Sans on the Skell-phone? (I hate myself for that terrible reference, but now i want a gif of Gaster doing that Drake dance.)


	25. It's Raining (Un?)necessary Tension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gaster? Why are you such a catty bitch?  
> Sans? Why are you stressing Shale out?  
> Alphys? Why are you self-shipping in the fanfic?  
> Muffet? What the actual fuck?
> 
> ...and stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO SKIPPED LAST CHAPTER:  
> I added a trio of asterisks before and after the offending part. Feel free to read the chapter. Thank you, you're awesome!
> 
> Onwards! To the next chapter that has NOTHING to do with dicks.

Sans wasn’t exactly eager to go back to sleep, but once he did… “whaddaya want, g?” The face in the darkness looked disappointed. Sans sighed. “ _dad_.” He corrected himself reluctantly.

Gaster perked the smallest bit, “I’ll make this quick.”

“thanks.” Sans knew that Gaster would lose track of time—time didn’t exactly matter in the Void—but it was easier to tolerate his father’s insistent talks when he knew he’d at least try to bear in mind that Sans had other things to do.

“Asgore.” Gaster said simply.

“you know where he is?”

“He went past my door not too long ago, I believe.”

“how long is ‘not too long ago?’ a few days?”

“A few hours. At most, a day.”

“not that i don’t appreciate the news, but why does it matter to you?”

“Don’t play dumb with me, Sans. The longer Asgore is left unchecked, the more likely he is to destroy everyone. We do not yet know if he can Reset, Sans. This is important. Contain him, and I will offer my guidance. There is also the very concerning fact that Asriel is still on the loose with the six fallen souls.” Gaster’s face hovered closer to Sans. “When I suggested using the human to find the missing souls, I had hoped you wouldn’t become encumbered with useless feelings.”

“what, like you did?” Sans remarked, attempting and failing to not snarl.

“Precisely so.” He snapped back. “But being as how you’ve tethered yourself to them, however tenuously, we must rely on other methods of finding the souls.”

“maybe not.”

Gaster’s face slipped into a dry grin. “You have an idea?”

“shale… had a dream a while back. i haven’t told them anything about the reports. when they woke up from that dream, they told me the thing that was talking to them told them to ‘tell gaster blue says hi.’”

Gaster’s eyes flared yellow for the briefest moment before the light extinguished itself into a shade of emptiness darker than darkness. It physically hurt to look at. His voice was crazed. “Have you heard anything further?!”

“no. nothing yet.”

“Have you _tried_?”

“tried what? shale has been telling me about their dreams every morning, and they haven’t had another dream like it since. but… they think that they can find blue if they try to.”

“How is that, though? The experiment was aborted before anything concrete happened, correct?”

“shale has magic, gaster. powerful magic.”

“Yes, because you bonded with them.”

“we didn’t bond, dammit!”

“Keep telling yourself that. Even though it wasn’t an intimate bond, it’s still a bond nonetheless. During the war, I formed a similar bond with someone.”

“really don’t want to hear about that.”

“How is Grillby, anyway?”

“he’s probably on the verge of going fucking crazy. every time he sees me or paps, he gets a headache. he keeps trying to remember things he shouldn’t be able to. is that why he can almost remember you? you fucking bonded with him?”

“It was mostly platonic, and we eventually called it off.” Gaster said softly. “When we changed our names, actually, was when we decided to put that aside. It wasn’t necessary, and it was slightly painful to be together, with the memories. We kept in touch, yes, but… we both needed to heal, and deal with our wounds in different ways. I had my work… but he had nothing but what he could build.” He paused, his smile returning. “I’m glad he built something he’s proud of.”

“so, in a different world, i would have been half-fire instead of half-human.” Sans mused. “i still think you’re messing with me on that.”

“Why would I lie about it? When there is proof to the contrary, as well?” Gaster prompted. “In any case, we are dragging this meeting out.” His smile faded. “There will be time to speak to you physically, hopefully soon. In the meantime, keep the human away from Asgore.”

“i’m fucking _trying_ to, g.”

“Don’t let your guard down.” Gaster continued, as if Sans hadn’t spoken. “The moment you do will be the moment you lose them.” His eyes flared like hollow pits, begging to be looked into while sucking the last bit of mindfulness they could—Sans looked away. “You’ll lose them, and history will have repeated itself.”

“i won’t go crazy like you did.”

“You won’t have time to.” Gaster agreed. “Also… I advise against becoming more... _attached_ to them for the time being. With how low your bond is right now, it’s possible for you to recover if they die. Don’t bond with them, Sans. It’s more pain than it’s worth. You saw what I was like, yes?”

Normally, Sans wouldn’t have humored this line of thought, but if Gaster felt the need to tell him not to bond—it meant it was an actual possibility. It was something he knew could and possibly _would_ happen. “i call bullshit, g. you didn’t go crazy because of a bond.”

“When you bond with someone, they become part of you, and you of them. When they feel pain, you feel it as well.” He took a deep and unneeded breath. “Don’t do it. The pain of feeling the person you love’s death… it’s not nearly as jarring as the sudden emptiness, the realization that they’re not there anymore, and you can’t find them. What’s even more painful is the ghost of their presence that hovers like a shadow everywhere you look. And every moment you live without them is the most excruciating thing in the world because it’s not enough that they died—they took a piece of you with them. But there isn’t a goddamned _bit_ of comfort in that knowledge.”

“dad, calm down. i understand.”

“Don’t do it, Sans.” He repeated.

“i…” He didn’t want to say it. “i won’t actively seek to.”

Gaster sighed dismally. “I suppose that will have to be good enough. Go along, now. Rest. You will need your energy to keep an eye out. Don’t let yourself be distracted, Sans. This could be the only chance at everyone reaching the surface… and Blue would be free again.”  
Sans nodded. “we still need to talk about that.”

“Agreed. But dawn fast approaches, and your flailing will startle your brother. Or your human. And you’d prefer that not happen, correct?”

“bye, dad.” Sans said, ignoring Gaster’s smarmy remarks.

 

* * *

 

You lay awake in Sans’s bed for a while, still curled into his hoodie, while staring at your phone. You’d been reading the website while waiting for Alphys to post the daily chapter. After a moment of browsing, you noted that Papyrus had posted about the dick-throwing incident… to your absolute horror, it was now a trending thing: _#DracoDick_ , _#DragonDong_ , _#ShowShale’sShlong_.

“Nooooooo.” You groaned into the hoodie and put your phone down.

You heard stirring downstairs. You were sure you’d heard Papyrus leave already, though? He’d already posted that he would be in Hotland today, to do something with Undyne…

Ah, that reminded you. You got up and searched through your bag for something to wear. “He accessed the internet… I’m impressed, despite the horror…” You grumbled to yourself as you changed. “But it means I can look up some new music, and refresh on some old favorites.” You yawned and stretched. There wasn’t a mirror in here, but you told yourself it wasn’t necessary to check. You were just going to be with Sans, right?

You were halfway down the stairs when you realized the noises coming from the kitchen were caused by Sans doing something. “Yo, bonehead, you need help?” You asked from the kitchen archway. He looked at you and then quickly looked away—but you had seen the blush mar his face. You took his jacket off and put it on his shoulders. “Thanks, by the way.”

He didn’t say anything, and you were trying to dissect the silence. Was he upset, or were you making him nervous? Did you do something wrong? Sans was cooking something. “i don’t usually do breakfast.” He confided. “can’t be that hard, though.”

You stood aside and watched. “Sometime, I’ll teach you what I know. It’s not much.” You said.

“heh, sounds fun.” He said quietly, but something was off in his tone. Before you could ask what was wrong, he changed the subject. You let him. “so, alphys texted me and asked me to bring you up to the lab. i assume she wants me there, too.” He said. “probably suit fitting or some crap like that.”

You snorted. “Aww, you’re all cranky.” You smiled when he looked back at you blankly. “What, did you not keep your promise? Or did you have a nightmare?”

He shrugged. “just didn’t rest well is all.”

You didn’t push. You had only been joking. “So… um, were you going to work on the present this morning?”

He shook his head. “it’s done.” _and not a moment too soon._ He thought victoriously. Now, at least, he had time to be lazy—or not, he remembered. He had to keep a socket on you at all times. The reminder made him weary.

“Oh, wow!” You smiled. “That’s cool, I guess… but that kinda throws off the little routine we had going, there…”

He took a deep breath. He didn’t want to let Gaster’s insistence screw up his day, but it wasn’t so easy as not dwelling on it—not when the warning had been _don’t let your guard down_. “yeah.”

“Sans, okay. Talk. Something’s wrong.” You crossed your arms and leaned against the counter beside him.

“asgore.” He said. “i have a source that says he’s wandering around. don’t know where he’s headed, or where he is right now… but he was in waterfall last night.”

“Oh… Okay…”

“and we still don’t have anything on the other little fucker.”

“Flowey?”

“yeah, that one.”

You shrugged. “I guess we just… keep doing what we’re doing?”

“how are you so calm? you realize either of them could and probably _would_ kill you on sight, right?”

“Eh, I guess. But that won’t really be a problem, will it? Worse comes to worse, if you’re that worried, you could help me look like a monster again. Hell, I might be able to do it on my own.”

“you’re still learning to use your magic at will. you don’t know how to use your magic in more than one way at a time. you can’t offense and defense simultaneously yet. so if you were to disguise yourself without help, you’d be helpless if someone saw through it. also, if you do it alone, it’ll be pretty easy to see you’re human. the reason it was convincing the first time around was because you were wrapped with my energy.”

“Then let’s do it again.” You prompted, eyes intent upon his sockets.

Sans took a calming breath, trying not to lose his temper. “i can’t, shale.” He said at last.

You furrowed your brow and just stared at him as he continued to cook. “Uh… Sans? Why?” You finally asked, when he didn’t explain.

“just trust me.” He said. Internally, he was screaming _because i can’t bond any deeper with you right now! bad things will happen!_ But he couldn’t tell you that, because then he’d have to explain more things, and he just didn’t have the energy to. Already, this was going to be the most nerve-wracking thing ever. He’d never managed to save Papyrus from the kid, how the hell would he save you?

You let out a frustrated noise. “I trust you, but whatever this is, it’s bothering you.”

“you had any more dreams about blue?” He asked, desperate to change the subject to something that wouldn’t make him panic.

“Nope. I told you I’d tell you if I did. When things are safer, we can see if I can track him, though?”

“i still wanna know why it’s possible.” He said. Gaster hadn’t known why, either, and that irked Sans. He didn’t like to admit his father, despite his lack of touch with reality, knew way more about everything than he did.

“I mean, I don’t know… it’s a little odd that Blue was the only one that talked to me. There are five others, right? Why Blue?”

That was a good question, actually. “yeah, come to think of it, i would have pegged the purple soul to talk to you. so it’s not from any likeness to your soul…” That was going to bother him for a while. Surely it wasn’t…

No, because if it was some strange connection through him, Blue would have appeared to Sans, right?

Sans shook the thought off. He couldn’t ask you anything further without telling you about Blue. He wouldn’t do that if he could help it—he didn’t like explaining something he barely understood himself. He grabbed plates with his magic and went to work divvying the (slightly overdone) eggs between them. He should have paid more attention to what he was cooking.

He sighed and handed over the plate. You took it and went to the fridge, grabbing the ketchup. Sans grabbed a couple of forks and followed you into the living room. You gave him a wicked grin and tightened the lid on the ketchup bottle before using it on your eggs and handing it back to him. He smiled half-heartedly, remembering the last time you’d used the ketchup and drenched not just your entire plate, but your clothes, too.

The two of you sat in silence while eating, neither of you daring to speak. Whereas normally, the silence spoke for itself and neither of you felt out of place, this was different. The air was close and tense, and both of you quickly became aggravated further from the sensation.

You finished your breakfast and went to the kitchen, placing the dish next to the sink, since you couldn’t reach that high. You sat on the counter and pulled your phone out, searching for the new chapter. Happy to have something to focus on other than the uncomfortable silence, you began reading.

 

* * *

* * *

Mettaton lounged on the expensive highback chair, his lips to a wineglass of commoner’s coffee, pinky daintily extended, and smirked at Shale flirtatiously. The smol Papy climbed Undyne and began munching candied macaroni noodles, occasionally brushing them out of Undyne’s long, flowing mane. The twins, Pester and Jester, were sparring on the other side of the room, while Undyne and Papy looked on in fascination. Everytime their weapons locked, they recited suggestive poetry to each other’s well-formed muscles, pressing against each other much more than necessary to push the other away.

Sans stood by Shale as they watched blankly, still utterly confused for all that had happened lately. The skeleton at their side spoke up. “We’ll be having a dance, soon. You need to learn how to move in this body well enough to entertain our guests.”

Shale sighed in aggravation. “Do I have to?”

“Yes. I have an important client coming for that dance, who would be very interested in you. For reasons.”

“I’m still not convinced.” Shale said flatly.

Sans snapped his notebook closed and set it down, moving in front of Shale and looking up at them, that firmness to his eyelights again making something primal awaken in the disguised human. Sans reached up and gripped Shale’s jaw, turning their face, studying them intently. “Yes, you’ll work. It’s convenient you chose to be a dragon.” He released their face, but Shale growled and rubbed the tingling area his bones had touched.

Sans spoke again. “She’s been waiting for something to catch her eye here, and now that I’ve told her about you, she’s coming down immediately.”

“Why is she interested in me, and what does that have to do with dancing?”

“If you can dance with her, make her happy, I will cut your debt in half.”

Shale shrugged. “Okay, that’s easy enough, if the other patrons are anything to go by.”

At that point, the door burst open, and a yellow lizard monster came in, avoiding eye contact and walking with a queenly grace (to hide the fact that she is very uncomfortable with the knowledge that people are watching her). Sans moves forward to greet her. “Alphys, I was wondering when you’d grace us with your presence.”

Shale sighed and followed. No one else seemed to notice the newcomer, still entranced with their current tasks. Shale knew that meeting this “client” sooner rather than later would be to their best benefit. “Nice to meet you.” They said. “I’m—“

“Gorgeous!” Alphys blurted and then put her hand over her mouth belatedly. (Writer’s Note: Please no one ask how I meet attractive people. That’s almost always how it goes.) Muffled, she apologized. “I’m so sorry. I’m Alphys!” She stuck one of her hands out to shake, and Shale’s extended hand entirely engulfed it.

Shale’s easy and wicked smile was disarming, and Alphys immediately flushed. “I’m Shale. But if you really must, you may call me gorgeous all you like.” They winked and Alphys let out a squeak.

Undyne, with Papy still atop her head, finally came closer and stared at Alphys from afar. Alphys glanced over, and then pointedly looked away. “Shale is my host of choice.” Alphys told Sans, loud enough that everyone in the room could hear. “And I demand their presence at the dance.”

“Erm…” Shale almost protested, but swallowed their words with a bit of effort. Sans’s glare in their direction made them glower at their feet and shuffle around. “I could use a refresher on formal dancing.”

Mettaton launched to his feet and volunteered loudly, but Alphys shoved him out of the way and demanded to teach them. Sans shrugged and marked in his little book a few more notes. “Alphys wins because she pays.” Sans told the dejected robot.

Days of dance training later, and Alphys had sufficiently made Undyne, her secret fiancé, quite jealous. Alphys wasn’t done yet, though. She had a point to prove, even if that point was absolutely useless. She needed to make the love triangle in this fic actually worth reading about! If that meant making into a temporary love square, so be it!

* * *

* * *

 

“Why so meta, Alphys?” You muttered.

Sans was in the kitchen now, cleaning up a bit and then standing around patiently. He was humming under his breath, and you had been humming along—now that your attention was brought to what it was, you let out a noise. “How long have you been rick-rolling me?” You asked in mock-aggravation.

It was a relief that the tension was broken, for the most part. “for a few minutes, now.”

“And how long have I been humming along?”

“for a few minutes, now.” He repeated, and you noticed that beloved crooked grin return.

You couldn’t help but smile back. “Now that we’ve accessed human Internet, you’d better prepare yourself. I am going to show you _all the memes_.”

He made a face and put his hands up. “look out, we gotta badass over here.” He said.

You laughed and looked back to your phone. “This might be a good day, yet.” You muttered, more to yourself than him.

 

* * *

* * *

Sufficiently trained in dancing, Shale now was the envy of the Ebott Host Club. Alphys gave biting commentary on everyone else’s character, being especially tsundere toward Undyne. No one must know her hidden love for the fish monster!

No one must know—which is why Sans immediately told Shale when asked why Alphys was always staring at the incredibly buff and beautiful host. Shale understood now, that Alphys was using them to make Undyne jealous—and unbeknownst to her, it was working quite well. Out of host club hours, Undyne would find Shale alone and suplex them. Shale had a perpetual ache around their horns now, and Sans kept wondering why he had to focus extra magic into their form to keep it from unravelling.

Papy eventually fessed up to Sans, and he had a stern talking-to with Undyne about perhaps NOT giving Shale brain damage while they were still useful. After the dance, maybe, but until then…

The dance rolled around, at last, and Pester and Jester put their plan into motion. They blackmailed Sans into making Shale kiss Alphys in front of Undyne, to get Undyne to intervene, or perhaps to make Alphys admit her true feelings for her betrothed and beloved resident fish monster.

Sans was not really all for the idea, since he secretly wanted Shale for himself. However, when he hesitated, the twins put the blackmailing in effect, saying they would tell Shale how he felt about them if he didn’t play along. Backed into a corner, he knew he either had to go along with it or kill them. After a long moment of thought, he decided against killing them. For now.

* * *

* * *

 

“Sans, I really think you’ll enjoy this chapter.”

“why?”

“Someone tries to blackmail you, and you seriously consider killing them rather than going along with a totally harmless plan?”

“i’m too lazy to kill someone when it’s easy enough to just go with it.”

“Well, she got that right, at least.” You said. “I’m kind of scared of where this is going. Apparently she… uh, shipped me with her? In a fake way? I don’t even know—something like it happened in the show. I’m honestly so confused right now.”

“just keep reading.” He said, and pulled it up on his phone, skimming lazily until he had a rough idea of where you were.

 

* * *

* * *

 

“Tonight, we have a special prize for our friend and patron, Alphys! We have recently learned that Shale has never been kissed by a monster. Alphys, are you willing to change that?”

Undyne went rigid, and Papy fell off of her shoulders as she stood at attention, glaring holes in Sans, who shrugged off the glare effortlessly. Alphys was scarlet with embarrassment, and Shale stared at Sans in absolute agony. “Couldn’t you warn me? Also, couldn’t you ask?!” They growled it.

“Just sing a song and kiss Alphys, Shale.” Sans grumbled and turned away so he wouldn’t have to see.

Alphys looked at Undyne, then back at Shale, more resolute now. This was her one chance! She could do this, couldn’t she? “Skip the song, I might die.” She whimpered behind her hands as her cheeks reddened again.

Shale nodded. “You sure you’re okay with this?”

Undyne appeared behind Shale, eyes glowing with malice. She was easily ignored.

Alphys leaned toward Shale, lips puckered—and was pushed to the floor roughly by Mettaton. Mettaton slung his arms around Shale, who hadn’t enough time to lean away. With a resounding clanking noise, Mettaton planted his lips firmly against Shale’s fangs, making sure to get some tongue action in there. Shale pushed Mettaton away, and he tripped over Alphys, ending up sprawled over the top of her. Undyne nearly killed everyone in attendance, and won Alphys’s heart.

Sans died a little bit inside because even though Alphys was happy, which is what the end goal was, he certainly was not, and if the robot managed to survive having his arms ripped off and jammed in places unknown, he would be sure to turn what was left of him to scrap metal.

Mettaton, speech glitching from intense pain and emotion, made a kissy face at Shale. “Anytime, lover! That was soooo worth it!”

Yes, Sans would definitely make him into scrap metal.

SO WHAT WILL I POSSIBLY DO NEXT! DEFINITELY NOT A BEACH EPISODE? Find out next chapter! (this was the most awkward thing to write out, but I wanted to be Renge, but also I wanted to write the dance scene and… Undyne, I hope you got a good laugh out of this.)

* * *

* * *

 

You cradled your head. “Of course, she would… make me kiss Mettaton again.”

Sans laughed, but it sounded forced. “she said ‘tongue action’.”

“Um…” You didn’t necessarily want to remind him that there may or may not have been tongue involved on set. Despite your lack of attraction to Mettaton, you had to admit he was a skilled kisser. It certainly hadn’t been unpleasant, even if it had been a bit awkward in post. It felt no different from kissing a human—you remember you had been shocked that his metal body felt so soft, warm, and pliant.

“if i had a stomach, i might have thrown up.” Sans remarked.

You shrugged. “What’s done is done. I mean, would you have rather have read about me hypothetically making out with Alphys?”

He shrugged. “whatever you do is up to you.” He said, but his tone was dark.

“Sans?” You couldn’t keep the smile off your face, trying hard just made your lips turn up in a smirk and your brow crease from the futile effort. “Are you, by chance…?”

“we need to get to hotland, shale. the memes await.” He said, and walked off, leaving you to follow through the shortcut.

 

* * *

 

It was as you’d expected. Muffet, with her photographic memory, hadn’t needed to take measurements so much as do some fitting. The suits were already, for the most part, made. Mettaton begged you to wear a dress, as he would be, but you firmly refused for the umpteenth time. He noted your aggravation and dropped the subject so quickly that it surprised you.

Muffet and Papyrus were behind a curtain, and she was adjusting garments, remarking at how difficult it was to tailor to his form.

“THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS A CHALLENGE TO YOUR ABILITIES. WITHOUT CHALLENGE, THERE IS NOW GROWTH IN SKILL!”

Muffet sighed and continued working. “You’re lucky I like you, dearie. Otherwise, my pet would have something new to gnaw on.”

Alphys pulled you aside. “Birdy, ummm… I n-noticed you… left a comment on my fic?”

You laughed despite yourself. “I’ve been reading it the whole time. It’s quite entertaining.”

“It… doesn’t b-bother you, does it?” She was absolutely scarlet.

“Nah, seriously, it brightens my day to read it.” Your eyes narrowed. “But what’s with the whole ‘they’re obviously aroused’ thing going on?”

She squeaked. “Um! I!” She was shaking.

“Chill out, I’m not upset.” You told her in a low tone.

“B-Birdy, is it true?!” She whisper-yelled, but no one was close enough to hear except you.

“No.” You felt your face heat.

“Eeeeee! You’re lying!!!!” She cried, holding her face as it turned as red as yours. She leaned in and whispered. “The eye thing, right? The studying thing? You stare at him a lot, and I noticed you blushed a lot when he would look like that.” She looked victorious. “I thought I was reading too much into it! Oh-my-god-this-is-the-best-day-ever!”

“Alphys, as much as I’d hate to let you continue, I must pointedly remind you that there was something important you wanted to talk to me about.” You reminded, tone stern. “Also, give me that CD if it’s done so I can put it away.”

She leaned in again. “Birdy, please tell me, is it a Love Day gift?!” She was trying to whisper, but was too excited.

Neither of you noticed Sans easing into earshot during the last bit of that conversation. His bones began to burn, and he tried to ignore it. You working on a Love Day gift for someone was not his business. Of all the things to focus on, that was not what he needed to expend his energy and thought power on.

“It’s for me, Alphys.” You said, and he couldn’t see your face.

“Oh-you-liar-it-totally-is-oh-my-god!” Alphys was jumping up and down.

“Hey, remember that whole ‘reading too much into it’ thing you were talking about? Yeah, please let’s get back to that important thing you wanted to ask.”

She sobered quickly, looked around and saw Sans. She jolted, and he, realizing he’d been found out, wandered closer. “sup?”

“Well… I needed t-to talk to b-both of you, actually. Let’s go downstairs and—”

“OHHH MYYY!” Mettaton wailed as Papyrus stepped out in his suit.

Alphys made a noise of disbelief, and despite having seen him in dress clothes before, you had to agree wordlessly. Papyrus looked quite intimidating in the suit, his physique impressive. His charming smile made him less daunting, yes, but there was also a devilish air to him as he exited the curtained area.

Mettaton was in a daze, fanning himself. “Papyrus, is that really you, or have I died and descended into a world of sin?”

Papyrus blushed a bit. “IT IS INDEED JUST ME.” He stood a bit straighter and fiddled with his cuffs. You were amazed at how adorable he looked, so bashful and yet sophisticated.

Muffet proudly sauntered out and motioned to Sans with her left hands. “Your turn, Sans. Hurry up, or I’ll make you into a pincushion.”

You chuckled and gave him a gentle and encouraging shove in that direction. “Good luck, bonehead.”

Alphys was still stunned. Undyne was unfazed, but you imagined she’d seen him like this before, as well. Alphys stared up at you. “I… I… don’t know what to think about this.” She muttered.

“How about we pass the time while fitting happens, huh? Since you need to talk to both of us, why don’t I show you some things on the Internet?”

She startled and gave you an excited look. “Yes! Let’s d-do that.” She said, shooting one last glance at Papyrus. “I’m gonna re-write a couple of chapters tonight.”

You didn’t like the sound of that, but didn’t say anything.

She had the Internet hooked up to the large monitor, and you decided that you knew what she’d like best. Vocaloids. You introduced her to the world of adorable holographic pop idols—and just as you had imagined, she was stunned. The playlist you had been showing her ended with the song “[The Disappearance of Hatsune Miku](https://youtu.be/zC-zPJAFfXY)” in which, she has become self-aware and is desperately begging to not be erased. It definitely resonated with Alphys, and she cried a lot and watched the video over and over.

“Hey, Al, you okay?” You asked after the sixth repeat.

“When and if we get to the surface, I’m going to Japan, and I’m making her a body!” She wailed, wiping her tears away hastily. “And I will give her ALL THE HUGS!”

Undyne wandered over, along with the immaculately-dressed Papyrus. “Birdy, you punk! You made her cry!”

“No, no, they didn’t.” Alphys sobbed. “I need a break.” She said and went up the escalator. You were relieved. You didn’t know if you could listen to the song a seventh time today.

“Hey, how about I introduce you to something I think you’ll like. It’s called [Drunk Kitchen](https://youtu.be/hJl-h3zKgYU)!”

Mettaton watched as well, remarking that his cooking show was better, but you told him to shut up and watch it before running his mouth. To your surprise, he actually listened, and after the first episode, began to commentate much more politely. Undyne commented that there was just… something missing… and you had a brilliant idea. You showed them [Epic Meal Time](https://youtu.be/m9FRSghXhDM).

Papyrus was the first to become uncomfortable by the sheer amount of bacon. Undyne was the second. Mettaton was awash in fascination. “Wow, they’re more murderous than I am…” He had muttered. “I want to work with them.”

“And now for something completely different!” You said, bringing up something certainly up to everyone’s speed. “Mettaton, when and if we ever get to the surface, I wanna make you a deal!”

“Yes, my dear Phantom?” You certainly had his attention now.

You hit play. “We’re gonna try out for one of these ridiculous national talent shows.” You introduced them to the insanity that was mass talent shows. “I’m almost _sure_ they’re all rigged. So, maybe, we can fuck with their system! Mwahahaha!”

Sans appeared next to you. “shale, that laugh doesn’t **suit** you, heh.”

You looked over at him and made a weird noise in your throat. Muffet laughed from the curtained area at your reaction. “I outdid myself.” She bragged. “When you collect your thoughts, it’s your turn, Songbird.” Yes, when you were done ogling the absolutely crazy juxtaposition of dishevelment and perfection before you.

“heh, **seams** like you like what you see.” He winked, and you wondered briefly if you’d turn into a Vulkin.

You blushed and willed yourself unsuccessfully to look away. How the hell could a loosened black tie over a button-up shirt make him look like this? Also seeing him in anything other than track shorts—it felt weird, and wrong on some very appealing level. “Holy fuck.” You whispered, and finally tore your eyes away from his form. Both of you were a blushing mess, and he walked past you to the screen to stand next to his brother. Mettaton was staring at both brothers wistfully, as well.

You muted your thoughts as best you could and went to Muffet. “How.” You didn’t even put inflection into the words.

“Enjoy it while it lasts, dearie. If I know Sans at all, he’ll wear it all of five minutes.”

You blushed even heavier. “No, I mean…”

“How does changing clothes make someone completely different?” She supplied your question for you.

You nodded hesitantly.

“Oh, dear!” She hugged you to her side and brought you in front of a mirror, pulling the curtain closed behind you. “ _Someone_ has a crush!”

You didn’t bother refuting the remark. You were sure it was written on your face.

“Don’t worry, Songbird, I will make you a tasteful suit to end all tasteful suits! Trust me, none of them will know what hit them.”

You nodded weakly and carefully changed into the garments she’d already begun to make. There were a few stray pins, and so you had to be very cautious. Alphys came to the curtain and asked to intrude. You said it was okay with you, and Muffet said she was fine as long as Alphys didn’t get in the way.

“Umm, so I decided I want Sans to be my First Hand.” She said.

“Okay. I understand.”

“I want you to perform during the ceremony.” She continued. “Is that okay?”

You froze for a moment. “Uh… I guess so? Would I be doing it alone?”

She nodded. “I… have a couple of songs in mind that I’d like you to sing… and want to know what you might suggest… I know that’s a lot of stress, Birdy. Feel free to say no.”

“I’d love to sing for the wedding…” You thought for a moment. “Was that what you wanted to talk about?”

She glanced at Muffet, and when she noted that she wasn’t looking, shook her head at you.

“Well, in that case, we’ll go through some songs, huh? Might ought to call Blooky up, too. And Toriel, since we’re on the Internet.” You gave her a look that said that wasn’t the only reason the queen should be where she could be watched over. “Pretty sure she’d enjoy some of that stuff. Cat videos, maybe. Or… I don’t know.”

Alphys nodded, pulled out her phone, and left you and Muffet alone so she could make calls. You could hear the others talking animatedly over the top of whatever they were watching now.

You looked in the mirror, now, and realized that Muffet was putting you in something that was truly transformative. The dress pants were red over black brocade, perfectly tailored, with a double-breasted vest to match, almost mirroring the one you had at home. The dress shirt was white, a stark contrast to the sinful crimson that curved around you flawlessly. The tie around your throat was black silk—and upon closer inspection, there were tiny skulls embroidered into it. You eyed Muffet suspiciously as she fluffed your hair, trying to work it into the same mood the rest of the outfit set. “Wow.” You muttered. “I might need to find my old mask…” This was certainly reminiscent of your days on the set of Phantom of the Underground, tie aside.

“Dearie, can’t you make one with your magic?” Muffet’s eyes (all of them!) lit up with excitement. “I’d love to see you do it!” She clasped two pairs of hands together, while using the last pair to fidget with your tie for the umpteenth time.

“Hmm. That’s a good idea. It’s good practice, too.” You mused. “Let’s see…” You focused on what you wanted it to look like, and summoned your magic. It was getting easier to form things mindfully, since you had begun training with the sword. Muffet looked ecstatic. You looked into the mirror.

“Oh, that looks nice, actually.” You commented blithely. Rust colored magic solidified over your face, the shadow of Shale’s image.

Muffet nodded emphatically. “Yes, yes! Go out like that. I can’t wait to see the aftermath. But first!” She pulled her phone out and took a picture of you, lightning fast, and then shoved you out into the open. “This will be interesting. Afufufufu…”

Indeed, when you were in view of everyone, you put a hand on the back of your neck timidly as the collective gaze of the room shifted to you. There was a low whistle from Undyne, and Mettaton stammered slightly. “I… um, am entirely for you foregoing the dress.”

“B-Birdy, oh, wow!” Alphys approached timidly. “The mask is uh…” She reached out but hesitated. You bent closer and smiled at her warmly. She colored. “Uh!” She shrank away a bit. Undyne laughed and put her arms around Alphys from behind.

“You can call me gorgeous if you really want.” You said, enjoying it when she squirmed. “Hah, Al, I thought it was a joke.” She hid her face in Undyne’s shoulder. Undyne winked at you, laughing quietly. You were glad she wasn’t upset with you over this.

Behind them, the robot had come closer, almost shyly. “Phantom, darling. It’s been a while.” You were surprised with the tone, you had to admit. The hunger in his eyes was startling. Had Sans been right about him being attracted to you? You were starting to think so.

Papyrus was at his shoulder, smiling down at you warmly. Too warmly. “WOWIE, SUITS LOOK EVEN BETTER ON YOU IN PERSON!”

You felt your face heat, and Mettaton made a pleased noise. “Ooh, when they’re bashful, their magic blushes!” He brushed his outstretched hand across your cheek, barely touching the mask.

You were confused. Did literally everyone in this room have the hots for you?

Mettaton squeaked as a skeletal hand grasped his wrist. Sans and Mettaton made eye contact, and Sans released his prey, looking a bit surprised that he’d acted. He wasn’t looking at you, you noticed. “When did you get there?” You asked him absently.

He shrugged. “sorry, guess i’m a bit tongue- **tied**.” Oh gods, had he noticed it?

You looked around the room and sighed, face warmer than ever. Muffet was filming your misery, you noted. You looked into the camera like you were on The Office.

You took a deep breath. “Okay, can I ask everyone a serious question?” You finally asked.

“Birdy?” Alphys looked confused and a bit scared. Everyone else nodded confirmation.

“Show of hands. Who in this room would date me if given the chance?”

You hadn’t known what true silence was until that moment.

 

* * *

 

Asgore grew weary of the heat, and it was making him quite testy. So when he proceeded past the dock where the River Person looked on, he was not quite amused to hear the smoky whisper, “Beware the man who speaks in hands.”

Asgore turned to the figure—the first monster he’d encountered so far (he’d been going out of his way to not interact with anyone)—and growled low in his throat. “You can tell the man who speaks in hands to eat my entire ass. This is _his_ fault.” He gestured to his own floral form.

“Incorrect.” The figure whispered. “You’re lucky he wasn’t in charge of you. You wouldn’t have the luxury of breathing.”

Asgore crawled closer, peering into the darkness of the hood. “Gaster, is that you?”

The River Person laughed, sounding like the dry whisper of scratchy fabric. “If only it were so easy.”

Asgore lashed out, grappling the robe with a vine. It puddled over the vine, turning to liquid darker than darkness, and sinking into the ground. The laugh became louder, more malicious.

“ ~~ **You can’t kill something that doesn’t exist. Unless you’d like to follow me into the Void?**~~ ”

Asgore looked around for the source of the noise, but couldn’t fathom what direction it came from. Was it within, or without? The feeling was alien and painful.

He remembered now, though. Gaster was merely trying to distract him. Just as Asgore had taken Gaster’s precious human away, he assumed Gaster had taken Toriel. “Where is she?”

The laugh became absolutely maniacal. Asgore shuddered and dragged himself away, full-speed. Maybe he could make good time today, and reach the capital by nightfall.

But what would he do if she wasn’t there?

He would do whatever it took to find her again. He was filled with DETERMINATION.

 

 

 

"Tra-la-laaa..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, guys... I drew the mask. If it's included in here, good for me. If it's not, you should hop over to the fic's tumblr and check it out! (www.zaiyofics.tumblr.com)  
> I tried to draw the outfit, but my templates are crap and I feel like crap thusly. I might again attempt it, but don't count on it. I'm still licking my wounds. At least the mask turned out alright.
> 
> AND THANK YOU ALL SOOO MUCH!  
> Seriously, you have no idea how much I appreciate your support of this fic. It's really opened me up to the idea of working on my novels again...  
> You guys blow me away, though! Love you all!  
> ~Z


	26. It's Raining Reluctant Proximity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Sans get into a tiny war (mostly your fault).  
> Mettaton and Papyrus seem to be getting along very well.  
> ...........  
> Oh, and Love Day is only hours away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE I'M BACK ALREADY I WROTE THIS ENTIRE CHAPTER IN A FEW HOURS WHAT IS LIFE?
> 
> So a couple days ago I went to my friend's wedding. I was a best man, and I totally rocked the tux. So, this chapter as well as the previous one I wanted to get out of the way while the feeling of being involved in the wedding was still fresh on my mind. It makes a good commemoration. If you wanna see me in the tux, hop over to my tumblr. It's on there somewhere, I promise. (www.zaiyo.tumblr.com). Yeaaaaah I look gud.  
> Not as good as Papyrus, Sans, and Shale, though apparently.
> 
> So let's get to it. Enjoy, lovelies!

Undyne laughed as hands went up. Mettaton, Papyrus, Alphys. “Oh, gods… you’re kidding, right?” You breathed. You looked to Sans, but he didn’t raise a hand, and he still wasn’t looking at you. He was either pretending to have not heard the request, or…

That stung a bit. Why? You shouldn’t be feeling this way. After all, the closeness you two felt was strictly platonic. _What a fucking lie. I’ve almost kissed him a fuckton of times._ You growled at yourself. You pretended it didn’t bother you, but you were almost positive that it showed on your face. You were acutely aware that everyone was staring at you, gauging your reaction.

Sans still stared at his dress shoes. You were beginning to question everything. Maybe you’d read everything wrong? Maybe it _was_ actually wishful thinking.

You turned to Muffet and took a deep, even breath. One of her hands was up, too. You chuckled despite your mental haze. “Even you, Muffet? Wow!” You smiled at everyone as cheerily as you could. “Thank you all for your honesty… I… have a hard time telling, so…” They nodded, and you noticed Alphys giving Sans not-so-subtle glares. When she met your eyes, you gestured to her quietly and mouthed “It’s okay.” She nodded and looked at her feet, the picture of disappointment. Ah, she was stuck in shipping hell—and you were too, you realized. When, exactly, had that started?

“Okay, Al, we need to talk music. If I’ll be performing, you need to help me out by showing me what you have in mind.” She and Undyne nodded and led you toward the large monitor.

 

* * *

 

Mettaton looked between the brothers and caught the mood. As intense as it was to see Papyrus’s face turn serious, Mettaton quickly excused himself and went to talk to Muffet about his Love Day gift, as well as to be fitted with his dress for the wedding.

Now alone, Papyrus strode toward his brother, and took a deep breath.

“paps, no. everyone will hear you.”

“You know as well as I do that I have tact when I need it.”

Sans shuddered. When Papyrus used his real voice, he sounded exactly like Gaster. Well, Gaster before going crazy from grief. He knew that, short of running away, he wasn’t going to escape this talk. “can we do this somewhere more private, then?”

“Alphys has cameras everywhere. Privacy is an illusion, Sans.”

“…bro, please. just… humor me. i can’t take it when you talk like this.”

Papyrus grabbed Sans’s arm roughly. Sans was shocked into looking up at him. “You’ll take it right now. You hurt them.”

Sans’s pinpricks darted to your back, and then to his brother’s face again. “heh, you sure? sounds like a **fibula** to me.”

Papyrus groaned in frustration. Due to the lowness of his natural tone, it was more of a growl. “You lied.” His sockets narrowed. “I know it, because you told me otherwise once.” His gaze narrowed. “At this rate, you’ll never be happy.”

“look, paps… it’s complicated.” With his free hand, he began scratching roughly at the back of his skull.

“I am not the one who needs to know that. Not that you’d tell me the details, anyway.” Papyrus sighed and released Sans’s arm. “NOW, I AM QUITE INTERESTED IN WHAT SONGS THE HUMAN WILL BE SINGING.” Although his voice was back to what Sans was used to, his gaze was still firm and disapproving.

Sans nodded and followed Papyrus to where you and Alphys were animatedly talking about music.

 

* * *

 

“Muffet, darling… Do you mind if I ask you something?”

The spider sighed. “If it’s about the dress, please resist. I am thoroughly unamused by your nagging. If my pet were inclined to eat metal, I’d be sorely tempted to take you home.”

Mettaton sighed dramatically. “Ahh, everyone hates me.”

“The way it should be.” Muffet winked. Mettaton knew better. Muffet bought all of his albums. In fact, the price for Shale’s coat for Love Day had been an autograph on the cover of _Phantom of the Underground._ “What is it, dearie? I’m glad to listen.”

“If one were to go about getting a gift for a skeleton who happens to be, quite possibly, your biggest fan… what would you get?”

“Is it the suit or…?”

“It’s a bit of everything. Darling, you know me well enough. It’s not that I want a relationship, or anything.”

Muffet nodded in understanding. “Well, I’m not sure. If Sans didn’t hate your guts, I’d tell you to ask him.”

“Did you hear him talking to Sans just now, though? Ohhh…”

“Focus, dearie. I don’t want to scratch your body up with the pins.” Muffet chided gently when Mettaton began to move around.

“We’ll just have to see what tomorrow holds, won’t we?” He mused mostly to himself. Muffet nodded again and hummed softly to herself as she worked.

 

* * *

 

Somehow the conversation went from music to online manga scanlations. Alphys was bookmarking a literal ton of virtual manga for later consumption. Undyne noted that YouTube had tutorials on how to learn specific moves from fighting styles. She looked at a lot of it, laughing at the inflexible humans trying to bend in ways they couldn’t. Apparently, because of her body makeup, Undyne is extremely pliant. Upon learning this, you wiggled your eyebrows at Alphys and she groaned and hid her face away.

Sans went to get Toriel, since it wasn’t safe for her to be out in the open. You excitedly bound up to her after her arrival and told her you’d be performing at Alphys and Undyne’s Formal. Toriel listened intently, but you could tell something was off. You set Toriel and Muffet up, watching old episodes of Project Runway. Mettaton wandered out of the curtained area in his normal attire.

“Where’s that dress you’re so proud of?” You asked drily.

“Oh, darling, are you excited? You’ll just have to wait and be wowed by my thrilling beauty at the wedding.” He winked at you. “Unless you’ve reconsidered and would like to spend tomorrow with me?”

“Ah, no… I’m sorry. I have plans already.” You said softly. Yes, totally platonic plans with your best friend who you were _certainly not suddenly pining for_. You massaged your forehead.

“shale, you ok?” Sans asked from your side. He was close enough you could feel his magic. When had you become aware of that feeling, like static in thick air that came from him?

He was giving Mettaton a death glare. This irked you now. As if he had a reason to be bothered by Mettaton hitting on you. You sighed tiredly. “I’m fine, Sans.” He understood your tone, you assumed, since his eye quit glowing and the air calmed around him slightly. He turned and kept an eye on everyone, looking around in a way you could almost call suspiciously.

You turned back to Mettaton. He smiled knowingly at you. Empathetically, even. You sighed dismally. Mettaton remarked that the drama in the show on the screen was pulling him in, and lamented as he went to stand and sit with everyone else, leaving you and Sans in relative solitude.

“So is it just me… or is Toriel acting a bit weird?” You asked. If he wanted it to be business as usual, you’d let it be. What was going on with Asgore and Flowey was more important than the lack of a romantic relationship between you. You just needed to remember that, was all.

“not just you. she has other things on her mind. aside from me, she’s one of the only people i know of who can feel… i guess you could say _disturbances_. something big is coming, shale. i can feel it, and apparently, so can the others.”

You nodded. He didn’t see, since he was still facing away from you. _That's fine,_ you told yourself firmly. Why were your emotions so out of whack now? Why couldn’t you focus on what was actually important? _Because I just now realized how important this is to me._ You grumbled to yourself.

“hey, you okay?” He had turned toward you. “are you getting sick again? you look pale. do you need to go back to the house?”

Gods, you couldn’t stand it when he looked at you like that. Yeah, everyone else could wear that expression of caring, of concern… but on him, you felt like it was something different. It made your pulse stammer, and you looked away, biting the inside of your cheek to keep from speaking your mind. “No, I’m fine. Just worried about everything going on.” It was fair to lie, right?

“i understand.” He said and nodded to the others. “why don’t we join everyone and try to get our mind off of this?”

“Not likely to help, but sure.” You said.

After the episode everyone was watching finished, you asked if you could show something. You put on [Know Your Meme](https://youtu.be/tCpn_fDQ05I). While everyone else watched in fascination (they thought this was an actual history show, you noted with amusement), you began making plans.

To say you were feeling dejected (and perhaps rejected) was an understatement… and being as how you and Sans were _just friends_ you were sure he’d get a kick out of your idea, too. That kick being in his boney ass.

You smiled to yourself and, where no one could see, you produced a phantom hand with your magic. At first, you’d had to hum to make it keep its form, but everyone was used to your semi-constant humming. But how could you make it invisible?

You struggled with that for a while, also taking pains to make sure you were unobserved. Eventually, you were ready to put the plan in motion. Sans was standing right behind Alphys, and you snickered to yourself as quietly as you could.

 _Should I pinch, slap, or tickle?_ You pondered, moving the hand closer to Alphys. You settled for tickling at first. So when Alphys let out a shriek and jumped, you could barely suppress your joyous laugh.  
“Alphy, what’s up?” Undyne asked, amused as well.

“I—I… Sans, d-did you just tickle my butt?!” She cried out, and Undyne’s face went slack with shock. You grinned, but no one saw, because the spectacle you’d just created was all-consuming.

“no! of course not!” He denied, and began sweating.

 _The seed has been planted._ You were filled with malicious intent and you loved it. To avoid Undyne’s glare, Sans backed away. Toriel was next to him and you thought for a moment. _Is this really a good idea?_

Fuck yeah, it was. But why were you so upset? Agh, it didn’t matter. Your phantom hand moved unseen to Toriel’s butt and you gave her a hard pinch. She _bleated!_ Aaand Sans barely dodged her fist. You barely managed to not laugh.

“Sans! What has gotten into you?!” She cried out, covering her mouth with one hand and blushing.

“What just happened?” Undyne asked.

“He pinched me!” She said, sounding more indignant than anything else.

“Alright, that’s it.” Undyne started toward Sans, and Alphys hooked her short arms through one of Undyne’s, dragging her, trying to keep her from attacking Sans. “First, you interrupted us yesterday, now you’ve made a pass at not just my fiancée, but the _queen_!”

“i swear to ditty, i didn’t do a fucking thing, undyne.” He said, tone even. “shale back me up. i wouldn’t do that, would i?”

You shrugged. “Hell if I know how you get your kicks.”

He looked betrayed, but when his eyes met yours, he saw the laughter on your face. You gave him a warning scowl, and his eyes lit up. Ah—he thought this was a game he could win?

“i’m too lazy to lift a hand to someone, undyne. you know it.” He said, ignoring the tiny exchange the two of you had had. He moved away from Toriel, closer to you.

Mettaton had moved closer to you, as well, and to your greatest pleasure, Sans hadn’t noticed his proximity to the robot. The invisible phantom hand reared back and you slapped Mettaton’s ass as hard as you possibly could, mentally apologizing.

The slap of hand on metal was extremely audible. You weren’t expecting to feel the recoil on your phantom hand, but it was there. You let the hand dissolve and felt like rubbing the non-existent limb to soothe the ache, but there was simply nothing there to soothe. You were stuck with the pain.

“OOHHHHH!” Mettaton looked around, wild-eyed and then lurched for Sans, pinning him to the ground. Sans looked up at you with utter rage. “You dirty boy, you!” Mettaton cried out.

You chuckled but grabbed at Mettaton’s shoulder. “Not the best time or place for this, guys.” You said. Mettaton looked up at you. “Maybe you should be asking _him_ out tomorrow.” You winked at the robot.

“shale, why?” Sans slid out from under Mettaton while he was distracted, and was now glaring at you from afar. You didn’t like that look on his face. Not malicious, but… calculating.

Ah, your heart was hammering now. It was almost like his studious stare mixed with heated passion—you were sure your heart would give out. Making him miserable was worth it if he was going to look at you like that—you cut yourself off from that line of thinking. What had gotten into you?! You helped Mettaton to his feet and everyone pointedly watched the screen as the next video came on. Sans leaned against a wall, staring at you hard the entire time. You didn’t let your guard down.

A few videos in, and Muffet excused herself to go home. She winked at you on the way out and you wondered if she had been reporting what had gone on to the Undernet.

 

* * *

 

Muffet didn’t need to. Sans had done that for her. If you wanted to play that game, you had no idea what you were getting into. You had merely adopted the phantom hands—he had been born with them, molded by them… err, so to speak.

He continued to watch you, waiting patiently for a sign of weakness. At last, he saw his opening.

_SLAP!_

No reaction. You didn’t even glance at him. The noise had attracted attention though, but his phantom hand was gone and neither of you let on that he’d just slapped your ass. Eventually, everyone went back to watching the screen.

 

* * *

 

 _Mission abort. MISSION ABORT!_ You internally screamed. Had this really happened? You pulled out your phone and put it on silent. You typed out a message, hesitated, and then sent it.

 **you**  
_At least take me to dinner first._

Sans had had the foresight to turn his phone’s volume off as well.

 **snas**  
_when and where?_

You felt a sting in your chest. Was he fucking joking? Sure, you’d joked just the same before, but… That was different, wasn’t it?

Sans was still leaning against the wall, so you couldn’t get him back. The idea of spanking him was terrible, anyway, you told yourself. Definitely not a good idea.

But holy fuck, did you want to anyway!

Papyrus went back behind the curtained area and changed back into his normal clothes before announcing he would be returning home. He pointedly told Sans not to stay out too late, and spared a very sweet look to you. You couldn’t help but smile back, but felt bad that whatever feelings he had for you, you certainly didn’t return them romantically.

Mettaton offered to walk him through Waterfall, since he would be going home to prepare for the next day, anyway. The two of them left, talking quietly amongst themselves.

Toriel was the next person to excuse herself. Alphys insisted that Toriel stay the night. She politely but firmly declined. She also denied having an escort. After she left, Alphys turned the Internet off and used the cameras to keep track of Toriel, to make sure she didn’t encounter Asgore. When she got home, everyone heaved a sigh.

You asked if you could use the Internet to look at some songs, and everyone agreed. First, though, Undyne went downstairs to look in one of the lab’s fridges for alcohol. While she was gone, Alphys pulled you and Sans toward her to finally broach the topic she’d been meaning to bring up.

“Birdy, wha-what are the odds that you can track the other souls?” She asked. “Because if we find those, we c-could go to the surface. I-I mean, you won’t have to be dead to help b-break the barrier, anyway… I don’t think so…” She looked at Sans. “Since you’re k-keeping an eye on Birdy, you need to know I’m asking, too.”

He shrugged. “might be in our best interest to wait until we find asgore, to be honest, alphys.”

She nodded. “One day at a time. R-right.” She looked down, but when she looked up, she made eye contact with you alone. “If it’s possible, I wanted a human-style wedding. On the s-surface. I need to know if you think it’s possible. If it’s not, then…”

You looked at Sans, and he shrugged. You didn’t want to lie to Alphys… so you chose to tell her what you honestly thought.

“Hey, so… Humans are assholes, okay? Keep that in mind. There is absolutely no evidence to support that they would even let monsters get married, much less with a human-style wedding. I can help you with the traditions and stuff, but… please, believe me when I say it’s just… safer to do it here. And, plus, that means you can do it sooner. There’s that, right?”

She looked disappointed at first, but then perked back up. “You’ll help me though?”

“Of course.” You said. “You know I would.”

She nodded and hugged you. “Thank you, Birdy. You’re the b-best friend I could ever ask for.”

“Hey, don’t start crying.” You told her. “Save the tear-jerking for the wedding. It’s gonna be beautiful, okay?”

She nodded. “Okay, Birdy, you e-enjoy the Internet. I’m g-g-gonna go… uh…”

“You do that. We won’t be listening. Sorry for interrupting yesterday. Have fun.” You said, letting her go and turning away so she wouldn’t see you blushing.

She was blushing just as heavily as she ran off toward where Undyne undoubtedly awaited.

You and Sans exchanged glances. “i, uh… i’d offer to let you sing in private, but…”

“I’d rather you be here, anyway.” You admitted. “I know he can show up in the lab if he wants to.”

Sans nodded stiffly. You preferred it when he was relaxed and languid… seeing him wound so tight made you sad.

You smirked behind your hand as you walked toward the screen. Behind Sans, you materialized a phantom hand, not even bothering to make it invisible. You debated whether or not to hit full-force… You decided not to. It still hurt to do so, though, and you cringed from the pain in your hand. You turned around to see him stare at you with hollow sockets.

 

* * *

 

Sans had never felt more mortified in his life. He should have expected this. As you attempted to soothe your aching magic, he spoke. “you look like you could use some **ass** istance.”

“Don’t be so **ass** inine.” You rebutted.

“i’m actually **ass** tounded that i under **ass** timated you.”

“It seems we have reached an imp **ass**.” You said, realizing you couldn’t sit down in this suit, or else you’d risk getting dirt on your pants.

“actually, i’m willing to put all of this **behind** us. it’s in the p **ass** t.” You put your head in your hands. “aww, what’s the matter, shale. you embar **ass** ed?”

“Don’t make **assu** mptions, bonehead.”

“your puns are p **ass** able… but i’m not letting you win. i’m actually just… seriously blown away. i mean, skeletons done _have_ asses… but it’s fine, i guess. we’re pretty **hip** anyway.”

You couldn’t help **but crack** up.

Sans sighed. “that was firm.” He said—and then turned blue. “i meant _fun_! that was fun.”

“Uhhh…” Your mirth died and you turned away until you could laugh it off again. Did he think this was a game?! “Says the guy whose ‘firmness’ probably bruised my hand.”

“next time just don’t hit so hard.”

“Next time?!” You whirled to stare at him. He winked at you. You turned away again so he couldn’t see that he’d won. Whatever sick game the two of you were playing, he had won. You went to the computer and began looking up songs you needed to refresh on.

 

* * *

 

“METTATON, MAY I ASK YOU A QUESTION?”

“Darling, you don’t have to talk like that if you don’t want to.” Mettaton said softly. “But yes, ask away.”

Papyrus struggled to find the words at first. “AM I DOING THE RIGHT THING? I FEEL LIKE I’M COMING BETWEEN THEM. WHAT IF MY GIVING THEM A LOVE DAY GIFT INTERFERES WITH THEIR RELATIONSHIP?”

“Oh… Well, I’m not sure I’m the right person to ask. If you are interfering, then so am I.”

He nodded. “But… what if…?” His voice was lower now, and Mettaton shuddered in spite of himself. “I find them very attractive. However, that is separate from any romantic feelings. I don’t believe I would be able to have a more-than-platonic relationship with them. Honestly, I’m beginning to wonder if it was only the power of suggestion…”

“From the website?”

Papyrus nodded again and then sighed. “I suppose the best course of action would be to still give them the present… After all, I still care about them as a friend… and I _do_ want them to be safe.”

Mettaton’s house was nearby, but he didn’t want to leave Papyrus like this. He wasn’t sure if it was the sultry lull of his natural voice, or if it was the realization that Papyrus was definitely not the cinnamon bunny he’d thought he was.

He had a rule to not date fans—but he was beginning to wonder if all rules were indeed meant to be broken.

Mettaton reminded himself they had very little in common and Papyrus’s normally boisterous attitude clashed with his own dramatic tendencies. Disregarding how delicious he looked in a suit, disregarding that voice… but he couldn’t disregard that look on his face.

“Mettaton, may I ask you another question?” He said it quietly as they both stopped in front of Mettaton’s house.

“Anything.” He responded a little too easily, and cursed himself.

“What did it feel like to kiss them?” Mettaton wasn't sure if Papyrus was merely curious or...

Mettaton swallowed. Before he could stop himself, he opened his mouth and said exactly what he wanted to, rules be damned. “Well… I can’t really explain it, or show you… But…” He looked up at Papyrus through his eyelashes. “I can show you how _I_ kiss.”

Papyrus blushed, and his eyes darted away briefly. “I… I would like that.”

Mettaton reached out, let his fingers gently trace Papyrus’s jawbone. Delicately, he led the modest skeleton closer, leaning in as well.

The distance closed. Papyrus felt an arm wrap around him and bring him even closer. The kiss was short and sweet, and both of them were a blushing mess when Papyrus leaned away.

 _Oh, God, what have I done?_ Mettaton's sensors were going crazy.

“Thank you, Mettaton.” Papyrus rescinded his arm from around Mettaton and smiled down at him. “And happy Love Day. Good night.”

Mettaton could only squeak in answer as Papyrus laughed joyously and sprinted away.

 _Yes_ … He admitted to himself. _That rule at least was definitely worth breaking_.

You and Sans had already been home for a while when Papyrus returned. Papyrus had been so preoccupied, he hadn’t noticed the feeling of Sans’s magic sparking the air around him as he twitched on the couch, in the merciless clutch of sleep. Papyrus collapsed into bed with a blissful sigh. Maybe he could spend the day with Mettaton after gifts were exchanged? Had he ever been this excited? He fell asleep happier than he could remember being in the past three years.

 

* * *

 

_The song was familiar. Sans had heard you sing it before. Yes, that was where it was from. You had sung it for him and Papyrus once. You had also listened to it again in the lab earlier…_

_But this was different. There was something seriously wrong. This was how the world felt right before a reset. Empty, like the Void had opened up and swallowed the world whole. Or maybe it only swallowed him only to spit him out in that one moment in time, that frozen day that still haunted him in so many incarnations._

_He looked around, and saw his room. You weren’t in it, and it was the same jumbled mess it always was. “ ~~Don’t change your name, keep it the same for fear I may lose you again.~~ ” For a moment, he could see you sitting on his bed, and you were crying. You reached out for him, and he lurched forward, feeling the indescribable burn in his bones that accompanied your touch. Just as quickly as you’d appeared, you were gone._

_“ ~~I know you won’t. It’s just that I am unorganized and I want to find you when…”~~ The sun was on the horizon, and he was standing next to Frisk. They looked up at him with red eyes and he snarled. He didn’t care. He couldn’t. You were out there somewhere. With that asshole! He left the child standing there and ran off into the human world to look for you. “ ~~something good happens~~.”_

_Reset. He was back in Snowdin. The cheerful tune slowed further and distorted as he took a shortcut to the Ruins. Toriel was gone, and there was no dust. So it was the current timeline again? That meant… No, you weren’t here. He’d be damned if he was just going to wait for you! He took another shortcut, arriving in the area where humans commonly fell._

_“ ~~If you come down, we’ll go to town. I haven’t been there for years~~.” You were beside him again, as if you’d never left. He held you close, almost to the point of breaking you. He didn’t want to let go. The two of you were on the couch, suddenly. “ ~~But I’d be fine, wasting our time, not doing anything here.~~ ” The TV was blank, but you held a controller. You looked to him, smiling. “ ~~Just doing nothing.~~ ”_

_He reached out for you, and you reached back, but no matter how far either of you stretched, you were always just out of reach and getting further apart. “ ~~We’ll sit for days and talk about things important to us like whatever.~~ ” The music had slowed to a literal crawl now, and he was trying to get up and run to you, but felt like he was made of lead._

_“ ~~We’ll defuse bombs, walk marathons, and take home whatever…~~ ” Your eyes closed, your smile faded, and you turned to dust. “ ** ~~together~~**.” The song had taken a nearly demonic tone and was earsplittingly loud. “ ** ~~WHaTEVEr, togEthER.~~** ” It droned again, and each second the voice raked through him he felt a pain that matched it._

He woke with his magic going wild, just barely managing to not scream from the pain. _why is there always pain?_ He asked himself, trying not to focus on what even now was running through his head.

He was panting. “that… was a weird one.” Saying it aloud reminded him what was real. The sound covered the feeling of shock that was still setting in. He felt too weak to move, but then he heard something upstairs.

The door to his room opened. You peeked out at him timidly, and he let out a breath, seeing you were safe. You were also wearing his coat again.

“did i wake you?” He asked softly. You could still hear him.

You shook your head. “I… felt like…”

 _fucking bonds._ He grumbled in his head. “i’m okay.”

You nodded.

“are you?”

You shook your head.

He was standing beside you in less than a second. You didn’t even seem surprised. “what’s wrong?”

“I can’t sleep. I’m…” You looked unwilling to say the words, to admit that you had fears. “I had a nightmare, too.”

“it’s okay to be scared, shale. it doesn’t make you less.”

You weren’t scared, though. At least, not of anything physical. You weren’t afraid of an actual threat.

“I don’t want to be alone right now.” You finally said.

“me either.” He admitted.

You hoped he’d follow you as you went back into the room. He did, but only just into the room. He looked unsure. “I feel safer around you.” You explained. “Is that okay?”

He nodded at last and followed you the rest of the way in, leaving the door open. “go on and lie down. i’ll stay in here with you. at least until you fall asleep.”

You looked like you wanted to say something, but you just nodded and lay down, turning away from him. He covered you up and then sat down beside the mattress. He wracked his brain for something to say, because he could feel the tension thicken by the second.

You hummed, and after a second, he recognized the tune. He’d sung that [song ](https://youtu.be/6tSwtWMNXUg)for you when you were sick. Did you remember? It made him feel…

He hummed along, and you shifted on the mattress, closer to him. He was humming alone now. Between verse and chorus, he noted that your breathing had changed. You were asleep. Sans looked around the room. He could get away with sleeping on the floor, couldn’t he?

He laid down and let out a sigh. You made one of those tiny sleepy murmurs and he smiled. This was fine. This was more than fine. He was filled with ADORATION.

~~Love Day~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh God, what have I done? The Love Day Arc was supposed to be a single chapter...  
> Oh well. No regrets now. Well... MINIMAL regrets.  
> Get ready because the plot is about to move at the speed of plot. (It's late at night so please pardon my lack of logic).
> 
> READER'S CHOICE!  
> How soon do you want to see the ALPHYNE WEDDING?  
> Option One: As SOON AS POSSIBLE!!  
> Option Two: Plot. Plot NAO!
> 
> Even if you have no preference one way or another, I greatly appreciate feedback of any sort, so don't be shy. I am actually quite nice, if very awkward, if I do say so myself.  
> I will try to get the next chapter out soon (mostly because I REALLY WANT TO WRITE IT) but please bear with me.  
> And as always, if you want updates, please refer to the fic's tumblr, (www.zaiyofics.tumblr.com) where I will post things about how the writing's going. Feel free to pester me.  
> ~Z


	27. It's Raining Just for Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Love Day! What could POSSIBLY go wrong?
> 
> See Ending Notes for Alternate Titles!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So who here has watched Ouran? If you haven't watched it lately, I suggest episode 8 as a refresher. Just 'cause. No reason.

Toriel sighed. Waking up in this bed sometimes left her feeling the ghost of memories she’d never quite managed to bury. She looked around, almost excited for a moment. Years ago, before his death but after this sweet holiday had been founded down here… Toriel had secretly enjoyed the bouquets of flowers that would show up on her doorstep.

This was the third year now that she faced the reminder that he wasn’t there to send one.

Oh, yes, she’d held onto her anger and grief as long as she could, and his continued tendency to murder the humans she strove to protect certainly didn’t make her less hateful toward him… But it was definitely a trademark of deeper bonds; she had felt his sorrow, regardless of how far away he’d been. She… had even felt him die. She refused to acknowledge that fact whenever she could, but today was not a day for that kind of strength.

You can hate someone’s actions. You can hate someone’s motives… but when you love a person, it hurts to hate them even more than to forgive, sometimes.

She willed herself out of bed. She didn’t exactly want to do anything today. She wanted to stay in bed and forget the world—but she was the queen. She had business to attend to today. She had a civilization to keep motivated. To wallow in her grief today—oh, who was she kidding?

She wouldn’t be able to focus today, and she knew it. She put on her most comfortable robe and decided to just face the memories head on. She’d always taught her children to not run from their fears, from their emotions (though running from danger was certainly acceptable and even encouraged). And what better way to teach a point than have integrity and show such actions oneself?

She didn’t feel graceful. She felt like hell. Regardless, she walked with her standard air of regality. Hopefully it would fool anyone who saw her. And, if she were truly lucky, no one would try to talk to her today.

But where was she going? She didn’t want to think about it, even though she would be looking at the room before long.

The flowers were soft beneath her feet, and she let herself look around. She almost expected to see him working in the garden, a cup of tea by his throne.

_What?_ The throne was occupied. A mass of vines had overtaken the ornate chair. Upon closer inspection…

She’d seen a flower monster before. “Excuse me?” She cautiously asked. The last time she’d encountered one of these fellows, they had been trying to kill Frisk.

“Tori.” The flower murmured in his sleep. Toriel let out a startled noise suspiciously similar to a bleat, and the flower’s face turned. His eyes cracked open. “Tori!” He repeated, surprise, joy, and a maelstrom of emotions surging through him.

She was too shocked to say anything.

“Stars… Tori… you’re even more beautiful than I remember.” He straightened in the throne and looked up at her. “I… can’t feel our bond anymore. Everything’s different. Tori, what happened to me?” He sounded frightened, desperate. Toriel's heart ached for him.

_He can’t remember?_

She reached for him. He flinched at first. She hesitated. “I’m not angry anymore, Gorey… Please, let me see if you’re okay.”

“I’m covered in thorns, you might get hurt.” He warned.

She laughed. “You’re about as frightening as a Whimsum.”

He was too happy to appear indignant. He laughed, too, and crawled into her hands.

“How about we go home? I suddenly feel like baking. You must be hungry.”

He did his best to huddle against her. It was the closest to hugging he could get. “I’m so sorry, Tori.”

“Let’s not talk about that right now.” She said. “Forget about all of that, and let’s go home."

 

* * *

 

Sans’s phone vibrated, and he woke, feeling a weight over his side. You were laying perpendicular to him, with your legs thrown over his side. He sighed and pulled out the phone. It was Alphys, he noted, and answered.

“yo.” He whispered. “try to be quiet. shale’s still asleep.”

“…Are you getting started on Love Day early?” Undyne remarked.

“fuck off.”

“If you promise not to interrupt again, definitely.”

“why are you calling me from alphys’s phone?”

“Because she asked me to. She’s checking up on Toriel, ran off quicker than I’ve ever seen her run. Tori found Asgore. He’s… he doesn’t remember anything from the past, like… twenty years or so.”

It took a moment for him to connect why that was definitely a bad thing. Oh. “he forgot you.”

“Yeah. He forgot Alphys, too. When Toriel told him she was calling the royal scientist, he said not to because ‘he’s the one who got me into this mess.’ So… he must be thinking of whoever was the last royal scientist.”

Sans sighed. _not good._ "thanks for telling me. i mean, at least we know where he is.”

“Sans, what if Birdy can help? They can heal with their singing magic, right?”

“might not be something they can heal.” He pointed out.

“Worth a shot, isn’t it?”

“if he can’t remember the last twenty years, he might have the whole ‘kill the humans’ mentality still.”

“He never wanted to kill humans, Sans. He’s the biggest softie I’ve ever met! He’ll listen.”

“see, we might, for all you know, be talking about completely different people. the stories i’ve heard paint a different picture. plus, he did try to kill frisk.”

Undyne made a noise and the phone went dead. Sans sighed and folded his phone shut. If she wanted to deny the underlying truth, that was her prerogative, as far as he was concerned. That didn’t mean he’d let you endanger yourself because of her denial.

He shifted a bit and you mumbled in your sleep. “shale, please wake up.” He groaned, rolling over to look in your direction, jostling your legs in the process.

“Whaaaaa?” You groaned sleepily, pulling your legs to you and falling back asleep almost immediately.

He thought to try again to wake you, but decided he had other things to do that were more pressing. He covered you back up and went about grabbing some clothes to change into. He took a quick shower and then went to his lab to gather the wires carefully and bundle them together with twist ties he’d saved for the purpose. He turned his stereo on with his magic, out of habit more than anything.

Under his breath, he [sang](https://youtu.be/0R-FGchhwLw?list=PLhzv9ei369KnIUxoTulsENIIw9sTHaXGK) along as he searched for that ever elusive box he’d picked up just for packing this gift. “saying i love you is not the words i want to hear from you. it’s not that i want you not to say, but if you only knew how easy it could be to show me how you feel…” he trailed off as he found the box and went to work packing it up. “more than words is all you have to do to make it real. then you wouldn’t have to say that you love me, ‘cause i’d already know.”

Eh, he couldn’t entirely get behind this song. He couldn’t think of anything better than actually hearing those words. He could delude himself forever that you loved him from your actions, but there was something special and vulnerable from admitting it aloud.

He hit skip on the CD. Where were the controllers he’d fixed for you? He looked around. He was starting to stress out. Why hadn’t he done this yesterday? Oh, there they were. He hurriedly packed them and sat there for a moment, trying to recall if he’d forgotten anything.

“shit, i was supposed to get chocolates or something, wasn’t i? or is that too much? this is supposed to be… friend-stuff.” He groaned into his hand. _would it cheapen my words if i said it today? should i wait until tomorrow, or something?_

But Gaster had said not to get closer. _fuck his bitter, salty ass! asgore is being watched. alphys is taking care of it._ He tried his best to psyche himself up, but when he heard stirring in the house, he hurriedly put the lid on the box, taped it up, and popped back into the house to see what the commotion was.

Papyrus and Mettaton were sharing coffee in the kitchen. Sharing as in from a single cup, with whipped cream and two straws. Sans groaned in protest, catching their attention. “I’M SURPRISED YOU’RE UP SO EARLY.” Papyrus said, smiling.

“i feel like I missed something important here.” Sans responded, pointing between the two of them, brow hitched in blatant disapproval.

Mettaton shrugged gracefully. “Don’t you have things to do?”

Sans took a deep breath. If he weren’t so sure Mettaton would get some sick kick out of it, he’d throw him against the wall and ceiling repetitively until he closely resembled a car crash.

“SANS, WHERE IS THE HUMAN?” Papyrus asked.

“dunno, i guess they’re still asleep.” He grumbled.

“Or, you know, I could be standing right behind you.” You said right where his ear would be.

You hadn’t known Sans could scream. He was suddenly huddled on top of the fridge like a frightened cat, panting, the lights in his sockets sharp and huge. “jesus fucking _christ_.”

“Nope, just me.” You responded.

“you’re lucky i didn’t hurt you!” He said. No one paid the statement any mind, though.

As was the norm, you were wearing his jacket over your tank top and shorts. Mettaton and Papyrus were staring at you. At first, you assumed it was your scars, but then you realized they were making oh-so-subtle assumptions.

You sighed and looked back at Sans. He peered over the ledge of his refuge toward the floor and rolled off. Papyrus shot from his chair and caught Sans before he could hit the ground. “heh, thanks bro.”

As Papyrus loudly complained about Sans’s laziness, you noticed that there was a bag beside Mettaton’s feet. You only noticed now because he ostentatiously leaned down to grab it, only to thrust it at you, blushing.

“What?” You received the bag and stared at him.

“I notice now that it might be the perfect gift.” He nodded to you, and, curiosity taking hold, you reached into the bag and pulled out a beautiful vegan-leather coat with a vest-like closure. The more you looked at it, the more you fell in love with it.

“Mettaton, why? Thank you!” You were confused but also excited. This was a thoughtful gift, perhaps more thoughtful than anything you’d received on the surface.

“I asked Muffet for some help.” He looked away, blushing. “She certainly did an amazing job. It will look much better on you than the mannequin, I presume.”

You gave Sans a meaningful look and he stepped closer. You took off his jacket and handed it over to him. You eagerly tried the coat on and sighed in bliss. “Oh, wow… I can tell it was made for me.”

“I’m glad you enjoy it, darling.”

“Mettaton, thank you.” You said again, and he actually looked at you. “I really appreciate it. It was very thoughtful.” The robot blushed and looked away again. Strange, usually he drank praise up like a dry sponge to water.

“NYEH, I WILL NOT BE OUTDONE!” Papyrus yelled, running out of the kitchen and up to his room.

Sans sighed and leaned against the nearest counter after shrugging on his coat. He wondered if maybe he’d been outdone. Sure, you liked to game, but… he was starting to wonder if he had played it too safely.

“hey, shale… i gotta go do something. text me when you’re done here, okay?” If he was going to get nervous, he might as well prepare. He went to the lab and pulled out Alphys’s contribution to his gift, winding the cords around his palm and hefting the rather large and ungainly screen easily. He took a shortcut to your living room and began setting it up in your living room.

Meanwhile, Papyrus was standing in front of you, holding out a tiny piece of metal the length and width of the top digit of your middle finger.

“Papyrus, I’m sorry, but… what is this?”

“IT IS A TALISMAN! MOST TALISMANS ARE MADE INTO AMULETS TO WEAR AROUND THE NECK, BUT I THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE MORE SUBTLE AND UNIQUE, SINCE YOU HAVE EARS!”

_Since I have ears?_ You studied the piece of metal carefully. Recognition dawned on you. “Oh! It’s an [ear cuff](https://www.etsy.com/listing/181025230/armor-ear-cuff-armor-jewelry-medieval?utm_source=OpenGraph&utm_medium=PageTools&utm_campaign=Share)!” You hooked it onto your left ear.

“NYEH-HEH-HEH! AND THAT’S NOT ALL IT IS!” He posed triumphantly. “GIVEN ENERGY, THE MAGIC IN IT WILL ACTIVATE! TRY IT!”

You did as he asked, and felt a resounding buzz of foreign magic against your ear. Purple magic that was definitely not yours formed around your arms, around your chest and abdomen. “Is this… armor?” You asked, and touched it hesitantly. Orange magic flared against your touch, feeling like a solid barrier. “Oh, wow.”

“I WANTED YOU TO BE ABLE TO RESIST PHYSICAL AND MAGICAL DAMAGE. THAT WAY…” His eyes wandered to your legs, and you went rigid at the reminder of your scars.

“Thanks, Paps.” You said. The two of you exchanged a look.

“IF ANYONE HAS INTENT TO HARM YOU, THEY WILL REGRET TOUCHING YOU.” He said, his tone somewhat darker than usual. “PLEASE, WEAR IT AT ALL TIMES.” You nodded. Papyrus pulled you into a quick hug and then just as suddenly let you go. You reeled for a moment before you noticed Mettaton pass his coffee to Papyrus to sip from.

“Are you two dating, now?” You asked a bit too excitedly.

The two monsters exchanged glances. Mettaton blushed and Papyrus smiled wickedly. “PERHAPS.”

You smiled. “I ship it.”

Mettaton waved your words away, but couldn’t speak. You’d never seen him so flustered.

“PARDON US, HUMAN. WE MUST GO ABOUT OUR DAY, JUST AS YOU AND MY BROTHER MUST GO ABOUT YOURS.”

“That would be great if I knew where he was.” You mused sourly. The two monsters pretended to not hear you, and left. “Have fun, you two! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”

Mettaton regained his tongue, and turned around to smirk at you. “Considering you’ve literally thrown your disembodied genitals at someone, that doesn’t restrict much.”

You choked on your breath, and Mettaton laughed uproariously enough that you could hear it even after the door closed behind them. You discovered the armor didn’t protect against sick burns. You sat on the couch roughly and put your head in your hands. “Hell, I need burn heal for that one.”

After a moment of frightening silence, you remembered you were still in your pajamas, even if they were covered with a bad-ass coat. You hurriedly ran upstairs to change, shooting Sans a text and asking him when he’d be back. Once you’d finished changing, you went about searching for the place you’d hidden that damned CD.

As much as you appreciated the time alone, it was uncomfortable and you were honestly concerned that somehow things had changed overnight and you didn’t know what it was. For days, now, no one had left you alone for more than one minute, and now... you didn't want to admit it, but you were anxious.

 

* * *

 

Sans’s hood fell in his face while he was setting the TV up, and when he breathed in to groan in frustration he realized that the hoodie smelled like you. Well, you had been wearing it for most of the week, perhaps more than he had. In addition, you’d been sleeping with it cuddled to you. He pushed the hood back and ignored the burn of his magic on his face.

The TV worked. Now all he had to do was… _ugh, i shouldn’t have packed it up. i should have just set it up in here. not like i wrapped it, anyway._ He grumbled into his metacarpals. “so much for that.” He took a shortcut to his lab, grabbing the box and returning to place it in front of the TV. He looked around, but there was no pen or marker around for him to write your name on the box with.

Hell, who else would it be for, though? He was just a bundle of nerves. _as good as it’s gonna get._ He told himself. _just gotta play it by ear, right? no problem. been doing that forever… heh, just without ears._ His attempts to avoid panicking were beginning to fail as he took a shortcut to the living room.

You made a victorious noise from the bedroom, and he went to the door and knocked.

“There you are, bonehead! Didn’t you get my text?”

“forgot my ringtone was off.” He admitted, pulling the phone out to turn it back on.

You opened the door and stepped out. You looked around nervously. _Fuck, what do I do now? I mean, it’s totally platonic, right? Just so happen to be giving my best friend a thoughtful present… on a holiday… Gods, just DO IT, or else it’ll be weird!_

You grabbed his hand with one of yours and forced him to take the CD with the other one. He stood there, staring at his hand for a moment. You held your breath.

“heh, thanks shale. i **cds** all the time, but i really appreciate you making one for me.”

You didn’t have a hood to hide in anymore, you realized. Instead, you flipped your collar up, hoping it would hide your face. It did, but the look on his face screamed that you probably looked ridiculous. The two of you chuckled nervously. “I know you have trouble sleeping, and so I had Alphys rip the audio from Okami, so you’d have something relaxing to listen to.”

Now it was his turn to blush. “thanks.”

“No problem… um, so why are you suddenly okay with leaving me alone?”

He jolted. “asgore showed up. tori’s got him. alphys is running tests on him, and will keep him from escaping again.”

“So everything’s okay?” You weren't sure why, but it all seemed so anticlimactic. All that training, and none of it would mean anything. Not that you could handle yourself in a fight just from a few days of training, but...

“for now, yeah. we still don’t know about asriel, but…” He shrugged. “safe as safe gets right now.” The two of you were headed down the stairs. “so, uh… what did you want to do? wanna game, or… watch that show…?”

“Um… Sans? Does it rain in Waterfall?” Now that it was safe to wander about, you wanted to ask.

“yeah?” He looked at you quizzically. _the hell kinda joke are they setting up here?_

“Do you think it’s raining right now?” You asked, looking out the window at the snow.

“probably. why?”

You didn’t answer at first, looking down at your hands as you fidgeted. “Well, I know it’s not like it is on the surface…”

“you miss the rain, huh?” He asked, relaxing a bit. So it wasn’t a joke… “what, you wanna go dance in the rain like a weird kid?”

You smiled brilliantly at him. He hadn’t been prepared for that. “Yeah, actually. That sounds fun.” You noticed his expression. “What’s wrong? Not up for it? I understand…”

“no, no… it’s cool. sounds… fun.” He hadn’t seen you smile like that in a while. Not since the Babymetal incident.

You took your coat off and lay it over the arm of the couch. He followed suit. “Ready when you are.” You said, still a bit wary that he might not be as excited as he’d said.

The warmth and thickness of the air made you sigh contentedly as the two of you found yourselves in Waterfall. You hummed happily, your amp obliging you from your pants pocket. Sans stayed close to your side. He seemed much more relaxed than he had the day before.

You were glad.

It felt more like a shower than rain. You couldn’t put it into words, quite. Perhaps you were missing the fresh air? The sound of the rain against the hard stone beneath you made you want to relax. However… there was the lack of thunder… It was altogether not what you’d hoped it to be. You had anticipated that, yes… but it didn’t make you any less homesick.

Ah, but was homesick the right word?

You smiled at Sans again and focused some old, relatively peaceful video game music into the amp. Sans smiled back. You used your purple magic to gather rain water, and then dumped it on him. He stared after you as you sprinted away, laughing, the amp echoing you.

You hid behind a sizable rock, expecting him to pop out and ruin your fun. When he didn’t, you leaned against the boulder and tried to quietly catch your breath. You felt arms around your abdomen as you were hauled up against a cloth-covered rib-cage. “heh, you really thought you lost me?” His voice rumbled through you like thunder, and you relaxed against him, head lolling to rest against his sternum.

He seemed surprised, but he didn’t pull away, instead choosing to hold you a little tighter. You were even warmer than the air, unless part of the warmth he felt was from his magic roiling in his bones. You heaved a contented sigh. He could hear your pulse, he realized. It was difficult to pick it out, but he could.

“This is nice.” You whispered.

He leaned his head back against the rock, producing a noise that made you giggle. “yeah, it is.”

“Hey, Sans.” You cocked your head and leaned back to look at him. “When we get to the surface, we should do this again.”

_we._ He struggled to find words. At last, he replied. “sounds perfect.”

You grinned and got up, offering him a hand to get up as well. He took it, and you hauled him up. Without releasing his hand, you walked off. He chose to follow rather than let you walk away with his arm. The pleasant burn in his bones was accompanied by a dull ache.

_just say something. make a joke. do anything._ He urged himself as the two of you reached the docks.

“Hey, Sans, wanna see something cool?” You didn’t wait for him to respond before letting his hand go and jumping into the water before he could stop you. You laughed and let yourself float.

“heh, you know monsters can float, right?” He grinned at you.

“No offense,” you began, “but I figured you’d sink like a rock. I can’t even lift your arm if you don’t work with me.”

“shale, seriously. i have gravity magic.”

“Huh. Well, I’ve been sorely disillusioned.” You muttered. “So if you can float, too, what’s stopping you?”

“garbage.” He answered and used his magic to lift you out of the water. “friendly advice. you might want to shower.”

“Oh, gods.” You muttered looking at yourself in disgust. “It doesn’t smell like garbage over here, though.”

He set you on your feet again. You stared at him, looking morose. “heh, it’d really **stink** if i wasn’t just **ribbin’** ya.”

You playfully punched at him. “Very funny. Shower still sounds like a good idea.”

He smiled at you. “make ya a deal. i’ll take you to your place to clean up real quick.”

You nodded. “What then?”

“guess we can stay dry and warm, watch some tv or game. if that’s cool with you?”

There was that smile again. “Sounds perfect.” You smirked at him playfully, saying his words back to him.

You successfully hid how entranced you were by his crooked grin as he scraped at the back of his skull. “let’s go then.”

He left you in your room, standing close enough to you he could feel your warmth begin to ebb. He guessed that the temperature difference was—your arms were covered in goosebumps. You shivered. He could easily just pull you closer, but he probably wasn’t any warmer, and… it wasn’t the best idea, in any case.

“i’ll be back soon, okay?” He said before he could do anything stupid, and blinked out to leave you in your own capable hands. The change of scenery was stark, instantly warm despite the biting cold outside. “hey, grillbz.”

“Sans?” Grillby had been sitting at the bar with a drink in hand, no customers in sight. “Why are you wet?”

“grillbz, i need food. on a date.” Sans said. “normally, you know i’d pun around. ha-ha, i’m soaked to the **bone** —but i’m a bit on edge right now.”

Grillby laughed, amazed at the state of his normally calm-natured friend. “You mean you and Shale are actually dating now?”

“hey, if you promise to not say anything on the website, i’ll tell you a secret.”

Grillby’s hands sizzled as he clutched Sans’s shoulders. “Tell me!”

“ **chill out** , grillbz!” Sans protested. “well… if all goes well today…” He trailed off, but Grillby seemed to understand what was unspoken.

“It’s about time!” Grillby said, relinquishing Sans and hustling behind the counter. “Do whatever it is you do, Sans. I’ll have something special ready in approximately fifteen, twenty minutes!”

_more than enough time._ He said, and took a shortcut to his room. He grabbed yet another change of clothes and went about getting changed. Trading soggy chucks for worn slippers, Sans had second thoughts. Surely he had something else that didn’t look so…?

_it’s just dinner and anime._ He reminded himself. _unless it all goes well, i guess. if it all goes well…_ Fuck, he was going to end up panicking at this rate. _one step at a time, sans. pretty sure you can’t fuck this up unless you try._

He kept the slippers and then gathered up your things. _oh shit, their shower stuff is here!_ He popped into your living room. “hey, shale! uhh, i brought your soap and stuff.”

He could hear you singing in the shower, and stop when you heard his voice. “Sans?”

He came closer to the door. “yeah, uh…”

“It’s safe, just lean in and set it down. Thanks!”

He glanced at the shower curtain and blushed. What had he expected? A silhouette? A transparent curtain? What the hell was wrong with him? He shut the door back and went back home, pretending his face wasn’t burning.

He gathered both his and your coats from the couch and then remembered. “fuck!” he grabbed the games and DVD, shoving them into his pocket with the CD you’d given him (Uwa!! Such large pockets!) before slinging your coat over his shoulder. He took another shortcut to Grillby’s, and the monster stared at him with ill-disguised amusement. Sans felt ridiculous for a moment, realizing he must look like a pack mule.

Grillby pushed the bag forward. “Enjoy. I also threw in something special to drink. Please don’t ruin the atmosphere by drinking ketchup, Sans.”

He shrugged. “they don’t seem to mind.”

“Regardless, if your aim is to romance them…”

“got it, thanks grillbz.” He really didn’t want to hear it. Sans remembered that Grillby and Gaster had been an item, some amount of decades ago. Even if Grillby didn’t remember entirely, Sans still felt a little awkward about it.

“Remind Shale that they promised to perform here!” He said right before Sans disappeared.

 

* * *

 

You swore you could hear something in the other room over your singing in the shower. You quit for a moment, trying to identify the sound. At first, you chalked it up to Sans doing something, maybe talking to himself—but no, it sounded more like…

“What, is he playing music or something on his phone?” You wondered aloud. “What, is he gonna play Careless Whisper for me?” You snorted, before turning the water off. Even though you were joking, you admitted to yourself that you weren’t adverse to the idea of him serenading you. That brought the memory of him singing to you during D&D, and you sighed. He’d also sung to you… how had that song gone? It had been so sweet, and your emotions had been so raw. Maybe if you asked—? Nope, nope, not happening.

You were relieved to know he was in the house with you, though. You couldn’t deny that you felt much safer with him around. You hurriedly toweled off and dressed in clean, dry clothes.

You only now noticed that you had mistakenly grabbed the shirt of his that you’d borrowed what felt like years ago. You blushed as you put it on anyway. Maybe he wouldn’t notice? You sighed. Of course he would, and he’d probably poke fun at you for it.

Running to your bedroom for another shirt wasn’t a good idea. Biting your lip, you appraised yourself in the half-foggy mirror. _Why am I so nervous? We’re… just hanging out, right?_ You’d be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t hope for more. Maybe it was time to take fate into your own hands, then? Grow a pair, so to speak.

Who said you couldn’t make the first move?

“R-right…” Hell, you were even stammering. Your heart was in your throat. You gathered the damp clothes up and took them into your bedroom to put in the hamper. Much clearer now, you could hear whatever he was doing in the living room. It sounded like the DVD menu for Ouran.

The sound of the bathroom door opening led to Sans stumbling out of the living room to greet you, his smile too wide. “uh, can i ask you to st—hey, isn’t that my shirt?” You willed yourself not to blush, as if it did any good. “anyway… can you just stay there for a minute?” You hitched your eyebrow at him. He didn’t wait for an answer, trying to return to whatever he was working on before you saw him turn blue in the face.

You waited patiently, leaning against the wall next to your door, tapping your foot with a silly smile. There was a small comfort in the knowledge that he was nervous, too. You were confused as to why. He’d made it clear the day before during fitting that he wasn’t interested like that, even with all the signs you must have misinterpreted to the contrary.

You quashed the resilient hope in you that he’d lied. You knew better; Sans didn’t lie unless there was a damn good reason, just like he didn’t make promises he couldn’t keep.

He came back, and motioned you forward. “sorry, i… wanted to surprise you.”

“With what?” You laughed and walked toward him. He looked stiff and anxious. As adorable as it was, you were starting to worry about him. You looked past him into the living room and noted that he’d taken all the cushions from the green couch in his house and laid them out on the floor of your living room. Your chair was pushed to the corner, and there was a TV.

“Oh fuck, you didn’t.” You cried out happily. “ _This_ is what you were working on?”

He gestured shyly to the odd-looking machine whirring on the floor below the mounted TV. “i used what i could find, but what matters is it works, right? and it even has a memory chip built in.”

“Sans, holy fuck!” You looked at him incredulously. “Seriously, I could fucking _kiss_ you right now! This is awesome!”

Your words made him turn a rich sapphire blue, and he gestured to the cushions. Just as you’d thought, the Ouran DVD was up and running on the modified PS2. You sat down eagerly, leaving enough room for him to sit, too—but he didn’t at first. “uh, i got dinner while i was out. dunno what it is, but it should be good.”

You laughed again. “I’m sure it will be. C’mon, then.” You patted the cushion next to you, and he sat down, setting the bag on the floor in front of you both. As you pulled out the tightly sealed plastic containers with steam and condensation on the lids, still very warm, from the bag, you realized your mouth was already watering.

Sans grabbed the second container and grumbled. “looks like they’re different things. which do you want?”

You shrugged. “Where are the forks?”

He laughed and set the container in his hands down and blinked out of existence next to you. There was the noise of a drawer opening in the kitchen, and he emerged with silverware, the drawer closing (most likely with magic) audibly.

You grappled the controller and picked out the next episode to watch. It was the one where Kyoya used the Host Club to test his family’s “relaxing facility.” You and Sans laughed quite a bit, and Sans remarked again that he didn’t understand how he was anything like Kyoya.

You cracked open the container, observing fine cuts of what looked like steak slathered in a savory sauce next to steamed vegetables and—“Jackpot.” You muttered against your fork as Sans rummaged in the bag again, pulling out the bottle of human-style liquor with a low whistle.

“shale… feel the bottle.”

You reached out and brushed your fingers against the glass. A warm buzz thrummed against your skin and you let out a pleased noise. “That feels like fun.”

“what if it’s an aphrodisiac or something?”

“Pretty sure Grillby wouldn’t do that to either of us. He wants us to end up together, not have a regretful one-night-stand and split.”

Sans nodded thoughtfully. “hope you’re not giving him too much credit.”

“Me too.” You chuckled and grabbed the bottle. “So are we gonna take turns chugging, or should I go find some glasses?”

He laughed. “the show’s already started, let’s just chug it.”

“Good. I wasn’t getting up, anyway.”

“i’m a terrible influence on you.” He said softly.

“You could be worse.” You muttered, only half-aware of the tone you were taking that made both of you blush from the implication. You coughed and opened the bottle. “What should we toast to?”

He didn’t look up. “fuck, i dunno… ditty, or… meat juice. just toast to something, shale.”

You laughed lightly. “How about… to more memories like this together?” You took a gulp and then hummed appreciatively. “Whew, that’s some good shit. Good shit right there.” You passed him the bottle.

“more memories would be nice.” He whispered and took a drink, too, barely wincing from the taste. “heh, it tastes like strawberries.”

“You might have been right. That sneaky fucker.” You laughed. “Oh well, promise I won’t take advantage of you.” You winked at him and took the bottle from his offering hand.

Sans snorted and dug into his box of food. “shit, why isn’t this on the menu?” He groaned.

The two of you ate while actually watching the show for a while, but your mind wandered. _Time to kick this into high gear! So... I just ask for a bite of his food, and when he offers, I kiss him! Simple stuff._ “Hey, Sans, can I have a bite of that? Trade you for a bite of mine.”

“heh, little late. just finished it.”

You tried to swallow your words back, but they still came forth. “I just wanted a taste.” You said, taking a hearty gulp from the bottle to wash down your embarrassment.

Sans was quiet.

_Mission abort!_ “Nevermind.” You muttered, eyes glued to the screen without really watching it.

“…shale?”

“Nope.”

“… _shale_.” You looked over at him, and he was grinning wide, brow cocked. He leaned seductively and rolled his pinpricks. “just a taste, huh?”

You pushed up from the ground and went to the kitchen to collect your thoughts. You couldn’t think of anything in the kitchen that would require you getting up, so as an excuse, you grabbed the ketchup and went back out when you were sure your cheeks were back to normal and your composure was entirely yours.

Sans, to your relief, didn’t press you about it. He didn’t touch the ketchup, you noticed. He was still drinking the alcohol with you. “hey, shale. something weird about this stuff.” He said. “not feeling drunk or anything. just…”

“Weird, right? What kind of magic did he use in this?”

“knowing him, maybe like… truth serum or some shit.” He floundered.

“Hell, you’re such a lightweight. You’re acting drunk off of something will probably no alcohol.”

“placebo.” He defended. “can’t call me a lightweight unless you successfully lift me.” He teased.

You looked at the screen. The next [episode](https://youtu.be/O1UfEF8aTWw) had come on. “Shut up and watch. I think this one’s the one.”

“what?”

“Favorite one.” You elaborated briefly. “If I’ve been getting Alphys’s oh-so-subtle hints, this will be the next episode she’ll do a chapter on. Can’t think why, though. Admittedly, I don’t remember much about this episode other than it made me happy for some reason.”

The two of you watched for a few moments before you remembered at least partially why you’d liked this episode. You identified strongly with Haruhi for so many reasons in this episode… Your face turned red when you remembered the specific reason you’d liked it. Sans didn’t notice because he was too busy pointing at the screen. “it says it’s a pun? it's... a harpoon?”

“Oh, right.” You explained the pun as it had appeared in the manga, and Sans laughed.

“wow, that’s pretty good, actually.”

“If I understand correctly, a lot of Japanese humor is pun-based.” You mused.

Sans’s face lit up. You successfully forgot what you’d been blushing over at the sight of him so legitimately thrilled. You turned the bottle up and then passed it back to him, scooting closer in the process. He drank the last of it and set the bottle back in the bag along with the refuse from the meal.

He didn’t seem to notice your change in proximity to your relief. The two of you watched the show again, and he muttered again. “still not seeing it. he’s all graceful and stuff.”

You laughed. “You’re still hung up on that?”

“she’s gonna throw up, isn’t she? called it.”

Silence as shirtless Kyoya entered stage right. You knew what was coming and continued to stare pointedly. _Don’t let him notice you don’t let him notice you._ You glanced at him and saw him staring at you. Your face burned an even heavier crimson.

Kyoya pinned Haruhi, and Sans stared at the screen, head cocked curiously. “wait, what? why? i mean, he’s a total prick, but…” He grabbed the box, studying it, possibly for a disclaimer for explicit material. “this isn’t one of _those_ type things, is it?”

You shook your head furiously. “See? He was trying to prove Tamaki’s point.”

“still a prick.” Sans grumbled. _huh, maybe i should wear glasses just to mess with them sometime._

“A sexy prick.” You hadn’t meant to say it aloud. Your blood ran cold and you couldn’t breathe.

Sans froze next to you. “what was that?”

“NOTHING I SAID NOTHING.”

“oh, really?” His expression was beyond amused, and he leaned in toward you. “that expression on your face…” His pupils sharpened and his brow hitched. “well… you’re really kind of a freak, aren’t ya?”

You whimpered. His eyes held you transfixed.

He winked. “hey, i don’t mind.”

He was so close to you now. You wanted to reach out, throw him off balance, or better yet, in spirit of that stupid anime, perhaps for him to throw _you_ off balance. “Hey, how about we play something.” _Quick! Think of a game with no sexual tension or innuendo!_ “Shadow of the Colossus? SSX?” You offered. _Gods, I can think of TWENTY bad sex jokes off of those. IS NOTHING SAFE?_

He shrugged, his eyes still robbing you of common sense and breath. “ssx sounds fun.” He finally looked away and traded the disks out for you, using his magic to grab the second controller and bring it closer so he could unravel the cord and plug it in.

He handed you the first controller and sat back, noticeably closer to you than before. Your breath was still caught in your throat. _This cheeky bastard…_ He knew what he was doing, didn’t he?

You tried to ignore him as the two of you played, but he wasn’t exactly making it easy for you. Since both of you knew the shortcuts well enough, he was constantly in striking range, and would push your character over frequently.

“I swear to Ditty, if you say get dunked on one more fucking time.” You growled at him. 

“what would you rather me say?” He pushed your character down, smile unwavering.

“Fuck me!” You cried out in a rage and dropped the controller.

There was a moment of silence, and then Sans looked over at you and winked. “thought you said you wouldn’t take advantage of me.” You squealed in indignation and tried to tackle him. He was ready, though, laughing heartily, dropping his controller as well and catching you as you dove. You were laughing now, too. “heh, shale… didn’t know you wanted to jump my **bones** so badly. shoulda said so sooner.”

You playfully punched at him, and he held you closer, restricting your ability to hit him. Laughing, you looked down at him. _Aww, fuck it_. “Hey, Sans. What flower grows between your chin and your nose?”

His pinpricks narrowed at you and his brow creased. “uh…?”

“ **Tulips**.” You answered, grinning with false courage.

Under you, you felt a shiver of static-like magic emanate from him. “shale… uh, i don’t have lips.”

You leaned in until you were only an inch away. “Borrow mine?”

The static feeling intensified, and he loosened his grip. Should you close the distance or wait? You steeled your resolve and pressed your lips to his teeth. You felt his voice through his bones, a relaxing rumble through your skin, through your soul. One of his hands now rested on the small of your back, the other trailed up your side in a caress. Your arms freed, you braced your weight beside his head with one, and held his face with the other.

You finally pulled away. Everything felt blurry, hazy, and your heart was pounding in a way that felt uneven. You searched his eyes for some idea of what he was thinking. He stared back in turn, the lights in his eyes hazy and relatively large. You smiled at him and felt that jolt of his magic spark against your hand.

“You okay?” You asked softly, barely audible.

The hand that trailed up your side dropped and he sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, he was looking at you with open adoration, smile slightly crooked. He grabbed the wrist of the hand on his face gently. The bones of his face were malleable, and he barely even resembled a human skeleton—but that didn’t keep your surprise at bay when he effectively kissed your palm.

You felt lightheaded. Your arm supporting your weight shook.

“don’t know what to say.” He said at last, relinquishing your hand. His eyes met yours, and he tensed, warning you without speaking that he was going to try to sit up. Carefully, the two of you pushed off the ground and you sat on your knees, his legs to either side of you.

“It’s not just the drink, is it?” You asked quietly. “This is okay, right?”

He pulled you closer again, one arm around your back still, the other hand supporting your neck as he held you. “yeah. it’s okay.”

You relaxed in his arms, burying your face in the crook of his neck. You breathed him in, and you finally realized what he reminded you of. You murmured into his neck and hugged him tightly. Earlier, in the rain, you’d felt like something was missing. The smell of damp earth, of fresh air, the sound of thunder. “You smell like a storm.” You whispered. He chuckled, the noise rattling you like distant thunder. You gently kissed whatever bone was closest to your face.

The comfortable silence had returned as the two of you sat there, listening to each other breathe (ignoring the sounds of the game trying to play itself and failing miserably).

“hey, shale. wanna freak everyone out?” He asked.

“Are you suggesting what I think you are?”

“probably.”

“Hell, I’m sure it would make everyone’s day. Why the hell not?”

He laughed and you reluctantly drew away from him to grab your phone. You pulled up the website and signed in as he watched.

“What should I put?”

He shrugged.

“How about, ‘Attention! This is not a drill. The ship is officially canon.’”

He shrugged again. “works.”

You laughed and typed the message out before posting it. A few minutes ticked by as you both stared at your phone, waiting.

“Muffet wants proof.” You said. “Take a picture with me.”

You didn’t wait for him to agree. You pulled up your camera function and leaned in and kissed him on the cheek, snapping the photo quickly and then checking it. You noted that he still hadn’t moved, frozen in place by the sudden affection. “Liven up, bonehead. It’s just a kiss on the cheekbone, right?”

He didn’t respond and you stared at the photo, chuckling to yourself before posting it.

“Holy shit, Sans. The website crashed.” You closed out of it on your phone. “Either they need better bandwidth or…” He interrupted you with a kiss of his own.

You, of course, kissed back, mystified by the feeling of malleable bone against your lips, moving in a way totally different than flesh but still just as satisfying. You sighed into the kiss, dropping your phone and putting your arms around him, greedily pulling him closer.

 

* * *

 

_BANG!_ You yelped and jolted, hearing the door to Snowdin slam and hear heavy, plodding footsteps toward the living room.

“HOW DOES IT FEEL TO GET INTERRUPTED, NERDS?!” Undyne crowed, rounding the landing and then stopping short. “Uh… I actually expected more nudity.” She said.

“Wow, Undyne.” You grumbled.

“why did you come here if you expected to catch us **boning**?” He grumbled.

“Ugh, seriously? I was the first one to ship you two! I’ve been waiting for you guys to just get some.”

“So you could awkwardly walk in on us?” You retorted.

“REVENGE!” She reminded.

You sighed. “Hey, _Undyne_.” Sans could feel you channeling your magic and was worried for a moment that you might attack Undyne. “Wanna see a magic trick?” Undyne was surrounded by a shaft of purple light. “I call it the cone of silence.” Shale then began moving the enclosure backwards toward the doorway. Sans understood what was going on and made a shortcut. Undyne began beating on the surface in an attempt to escape, and had cracked it when the cone went through the doorway and she vanished.

“Where’d you send her?” You asked, needing to catch your breath from the exertion.

“i still had a shortcut open to my house, so… she probably fell on the couch. probably hurt, since the cushions are over here. hope she doesn’t break the couch again.” His tone was dry.

You laughed. “Don’t worry, if she comes back, I’ll protect you.” You’d meant it as a joke, but he didn’t share your mirth. The statement sent a chill through him and he looked at you with a different kind of light in his eyes. He pulled you to him desperately. “Sans? What’s wrong?”

For the longest time he didn’t respond. You were always so confident that everything would turn out okay if you just pressed forward. You had never faced a killer—he knew if you did, it could be the unstoppable force meeting the immovable object, but… what if you weren’t as immovable as you believed? What would he do if something happened to you? His arms tightened around you.

You couldn’t fight, you hadn’t even taken the offensive use of your magic seriously… It was an all-too-real possibility that you wouldn’t survive an encounter with Asriel, or anything with more Determination than you. And your response to danger? _Laugh at it._

“you scare the hell out of me sometimes.” He muttered. “you’re never afraid of things like death or… you have no sense of self-preservation.” He looked into your eyes. “what happens if you get hurt or die, shale?” His fingers were digging into your shoulders now. “if you could…” You could feel his magic beginning to well up. “if you reset the timeline, start all of this over, maybe everything would be different! i could find the answers sooner!”

“I don’t know how to reset, Sans. We don’t know if that’s even a possibility.” You reminded him. “I thought everything was fine?”

“asgore’s taken care of but asriel’s still out there somewhere, waiting for you.”

“Everything will be fine as long as we just take it one day at a time and keep working. I’ll find Blue, and the other souls, and we’ll break the barrier.”

“you know what will happen when you find the souls? you’ll find asriel and he’ll fucking kill you so he can become a god! and if i’m wrong and it is just as easy as you hunting the souls down ‘cause they just went for a casual… _stroll_ —when the barrier gets broken, he’ll just kill you then. he’s going to hurt you, shale, and i don’t know what to do.”

You sighed and held him as he shook in your arms. “Yeah, it’s a possibility.” You admitted. “But if we just keep moving forward, we can plan around that.”

“i don’t want to lose you, shale.” His voice cracked. “it’s worse not knowing when the shit will hit the fan, you know? i can’t steel myself for it…” He went still. “it’s a one-way street, still.”

You gave him a squeeze. “You won’t lose me. I’m not going to die, and if everything resets, remember my promise. I’ll always find you.”

“shale…”

“Regardless of whether you think I’ll remember it in that event, just… believe in me, okay?”

He nodded against your shoulder and sighed.

“Hey, would you like me to sing for you?” You asked softly, fingers trailing up his spine over his shirt.

He nodded. “please.”

The peace the [song ](https://youtu.be/vFrjMq4aL-g)brought filled you both with DETERMINATION.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternate Title: Paper Boats  
> Alternate Title: ABOUT FUCKIN TIME!  
> Alternate Title: Senpai Notices You  
> Alternate Title: Something romantic and also rain related. I'm lazy.
> 
> Thank you guys so much for reading, and bearing with me through these last 6 chapters that were not originally in my outline. Also, one of the reasons this is slightly late is because there's a special surprise, right HERE: (http://archiveofourown.org/works/6545836/chapters/15963178)  
> Enjoy, darlings, until next time! Get ready for plot!!!


	28. Sans is Attacked by Curious Humans (who read this fic i guess)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Don't choke to death while reading this. I love you, person reading this. Please don't die.
> 
> Shoutout to my buddy Jai for being literally the best fucking friend ever and for being what I can aspire to, drawing wise. ^.^
> 
> MAKE SURE TO READ THE BOTTOM NOTES.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys should def check Jai out on here, and on tumblr.  
> AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/butnobodycame  
> Le Tumbs: http://summerbxy.tumblr.com/
> 
> Also, remember, you can hit me up at any time on my tumblr. Don't worry, I don't bite, and it's actually a good way to get updates on what's going to happen next (or when it happens, for that matter...)  
> http://zaiyofics.tumblr.com/

“Hey, Sans, what do you know about Blue?” Random human #1 asks.

*Sans glares for a moment. “fucking nothing.”

“Hey, Sans, are you jealous of Shale knowing Blue better than you?” Random human #2 asks.

*Sans does not look amused. He stares into the camera like he’s in The Office.

 

* * *

 

“ **tibia** honest, it does kind of bother me.” He says to the camera, lounging in an uncomfortable looking chair as if he could actually sleep in it. “all of you guys know my human dad better than i do, and that sucks. hurts. in here.” He pats his sternum. “but the good news is i can still do this:”

He stands up, produces a full carrot from nowhere and sticks the point into his nose cavity. He starts dancing, waving his head around so the green top twirls like a tassel. “i don’t fuckin’ **carrot** all!” He sings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, guys, in all seriousness, I need to address a couple things. Work's been going a bit hard lately, and I haven't had nearly as much time to write, nor the energy to after working... So bear with me guys, I have NO intention of stopping the fic (I even have a sequel and a prequel thought out and IN THE WORKS RIGHT NOW) So don't worry about this being abandoned... I just need to focus on work, or else I might lose my job.
> 
> On the BRIGHT SIDE:  
> So, I have a Bittybones fic. It is in no way, shape or form associated with Soul-Searcher.  
> I also have a kick-ass idea for Soul-Searcher--BUT UNDERSWAP STYLE (because I fucking love us!Paps, tbh).  
> And finally, the Grillby/Gaster prewar idea I had ran away from me... and it's going to need to be its own thing...  
> So here are the links to these, thank you all for voting on which ones you were most excited for.
> 
> 1) Always In Threes (Witchy Reader takes in stray Bitties who had bad previous owners, and it's 99% fluff. Also, the main Bitty is Fae!Sans. He's literally a tiny fairy.)  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/7074856/chapters/16080679
> 
> 2) SwapSearcher (What would happen if Soul-Searcher took place in UnderSwap AU?) (NOTE: The chapter I have up currently will be reworked because I'm not satisfied. I also have an idea for Swap-Searcher Baby Bones, where Blue raises the boys with Muffet and Grillby helping. It will be fluffy, angsty, and fucking funny as hell. Stay tuned for more info!  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/7169798/chapters/16276424
> 
> 3) Someone I Can Trust (Pre-War story from the general perspective of Grillby. How he became the Captain of the Royal Guard, how Toriel rose to power, and how the mages betrayed the monsters, etc. IT IS 99% ANGST AND PAIN, and so far I'm hella into it. OMFG it's so much fun to write all these deaths.)
> 
> (TO BE ANNOUNCED)
> 
> Thank you guys again for all your love and support. I am quite stunned, honestly, that so many people are enjoying this, and you guys have no idea how happy that makes me! You guys are what keep this fic running, okay? You are all very important, and I care about you.
> 
> Thanks again, Jai, you da real MVP.
> 
> Any questions? Suggestions? Novelty chewing gum? Leave it below in the comments!


	29. *you can't do this to me. not after 28 chapters of buildup. why? do you hate me that much?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *do you guys hear me? this isn't funny. not at fucking all. you think you're funny?
> 
> *you're gonna have a bad time. i swear to ditty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See ending notes for Alternate Titles!
> 
> Thank you guys so much! If you haven't already, check out Always In Threes (the bittybones fic) and Swap-Searcher (the Underswap version of this fic). 
> 
> You guys are going to hate me. Please no one have a heart attack... love you all!

It was raining outside, and the sound woke Sans up. “where…?” He opened his eyes and saw a white, textured ceiling. His breath caught and he sat up quickly, looking around the room. “fuck, what?!”

“SANS! YOUR FRIENDS ARE HERE! PLEASE DRESS AND BE A GOOD HOST WHILE I’M AT WORK!” Papyrus called from the next room.

He heard the murmur of voices outside, the familiarity of them making him ache. He cautiously got to his feet. “is this… real? fuck…” Had it all been one really long fucked up dream?

For some reason, it hurt way more than it should to think that.

Just like dreams normally do, the memory of the past three years began to fade as he got up and pulled on his newest hoodie. “ahh, [enderman](https://www.jinx.com/p/minecraft_enderman_zip_up_youth_hoodie.html?gclid=CjwKEAjwkPS6BRD2ioKR7K245jASJAD1ZqHOpv1oN1NLA6JWwhCOaOLDmvLCIzy-EBMUqeabks9IZBoCkzvw_wcB), my old friend.” He muttered, the ache in his ribs still worrying him. He left the room and saw Joel and Michael, two of his D&D friends.

“Jeremy is going to be late.” One of them said. “And Leigh can’t make it this time.”

“she didn’t make it last time either. think i scared her off.”

They both nodded casually. “Probably…” Joel said. “She seemed pretty cool at work, but… well, now I know not to date her or anything.”

“heh, i don’t really mind being your guinea pig for weeding out bigots, but… kinda warn me next time. i don’t want paps to get involved.”

Joel nodded and Michael migrated to the kitchen. A knock on the door sounded before your friend and landlord poked his head in the front door. “It’s raining, I’m coming in.”

“Oh no, the God-man has arrived!” Michael cried with mock-fear. “Hide your character sheets!”

Sans chuckled. His landlord, Mr. Goodman, was very accepting. Behind him, his son (age 24) came in and threw a plastic bag at Sans. “Catch, Bard!”

Sans missed with his hand and grabbed with his magic. His reflexes were so weak right now. Why? He felt like they should be stronger, but there hadn’t been a reason to fight in so long, had there?

The group was gathered around the table, Mr. Goodman cracked open his “magical tome of miseries” that he used expressly to kill characters.

They were an hour into the campaign when the dragonborn character they were fighting made Sans’s chest ache. Why?

_shale._

It was like the world stood still for a moment. Everyone was still playing around him but he stared at the tiny miniature on the map, its Morningstar raised, wings flexed… it looked nothing like Shale—but he felt that crushing pain and gasped.

He remembered you.

He remembered not wanting to like you, remembered how happy you made everyone, and then how happy you made _him_.

He remembered enfolding you with magic and…

He remembered the sound of your voice, and the first time he’d heard you sing.

Oh, the songs… He could remember with a swell of wracking pain in his bones, sweeping through his soul like the manifestation of hopelessness. He could remember how you were so afraid.

He could remember crying over you when he thought you would die from fever.

He could remember how your eyes looked like galaxies. He could remember playing in the rain with you, holding you to his chest.

He could feel your lips on his teeth, on his cheek, on his shoulder. He could hear that tiny gasp when he’d kissed your wrist. He remembered how breathless you’d become when he’d pulled you to him, the shade of your face when he’d held your cheek and realized how stupid he’d been for not making a move sooner.

_what am i doing?!_

Sans helplessly turned to look at his friends. None of them had noticed his silence yet. He looked at Joel, and tried to speak, but nothing came out. He was choked, and could feel his magic forming tears.

He stood. If he was on the surface… that meant you could be, too! He had time! He could save you! He began to walk, but the front door opened and another familiar voice rang out, turning his bones to jelly.

“I brought pizza! Roll initiative!” You cried out, dancing into view with a stack of three pizza boxes and the biggest smile he’d ever seen.

Suddenly, _pizza initiative_ made perfect sense.

 

* * *

 

Sans woke up face down on a couch cushion, the game’s menu music looping in the background. He grabbed his phone and checked the time. They’d been out for a couple of hours at most. He turned and looked at you, seeing you fast asleep, facing away from him on your side.

You muttered something and he snickered. You stirred.

“Hm?”

“shale, wake up.”

“Whahappened?”

“you fell asleep during the game.” He chuckled softly. “i kinda did too, so you’re alright.”

You rolled over to look at him, eyes half lidded. There was a respectful distance between your bodies. The look in your eyes told Sans that you were thinking about what had happened earlier. “That wasn’t a dream, was it?”

“dunno, you were muttering about carrots.” He teased, knowing that wasn’t what you were referring to.

You looked very confused for a moment. “No, I meant…”

“us?” He remembered the joy he’d felt seeing you burst into his house like you lived there, and… the way you had smiled at him when you caught his eyes. He wanted that to be real, one day. He didn’t realize he was blushing.

“I think it’s a little late to be embarrassed. We kissed for probably close to half an hour.” You grinned at him and scooted closer. “I mean, unless you’re not as crazy about the idea now?”

He shook his head. “i wish i’d made a move sooner.”

You stretched, and Sans listened for the little snaps your joints did. He was surprised there were none. You hummed contentedly and went limp next to him. You sighed into your words. “What time is it?”

“five in the evening? close to that.”

“Shit. We were out for four hours, weren’t we?”

He shrugged. “good nap.”

“Maybe too good. I’m still tired.”

“heh, me too… need to go check on paps and make sure he’s not [fucking the toaster](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7216135).”

“Wha—Oh gods why did you say that?!” Now the mental image would be haunting you. Sans felt a grand bit of satisfaction from that.

Sans laughed, and then noticed you watching him. “what’s wrong? something on my face?”

You darted in and kissed him. “Just me, I guess.” You said victoriously. Again, that smile bloomed on his face and you felt proud for a moment. “In all seriousness, you look happier now than I’ve ever seen you.”

He looked uncertain for a moment. “good dream.” He finally admitted.

You smiled. “Me too, I think. Don’t really remember much of it, but…” You shrugged as best as you could, lying on your side.

Neither of you wanted to admit to dreaming about each other.

 

* * *

 

It wasn’t long after Sans left that you got up and stumbled around the house, feeling odd about being back after the last few days. As much as you liked having your own place, you weren’t used to the emptiness anymore, and it honestly was a bit scary.

You looked at your phone. It was getting late, but for some reason you weren’t comfortable enough to sleep.

The deafening silence was one thing… but the state of your bedroom was another. It… just felt off, and you couldn’t figure out why—but then you noticed the faint glow of the mushrooms on your desk was gone. You looked around and saw that the mushrooms had been uprooted and thrown between the desk and wall.

You were willing to overlook that at first but it bothered you. Something was very wrong here. You no longer felt like sleeping at all.

The flowerpot’s soil had been disturbed. You took a deep breath of your room’s air and tried to identify the smell that you didn’t recognize.

You brought your phone out and your fingers hovered over Sans’s number in your contacts. _He just left, maybe you should let him have some time with his brother, or by himself._ You thought, and put the phone back in your pocket. You could take care of this yourself, right?

You grabbed the flower pot as if it were toxic and took it out, laying it in the snow and flipping it off before retreating back into the musty warmth of your home. As you walked in, you remembered the large urn with water sausages in it…

“Goddammit, I know it’s heavy…” You grumbled and tried to figure out how you could get it outside. You wouldn’t be able to sleep with the idea that just outside your bedroom was a potential spawning point for malicious flowers.

Sans thought you had no sense of self-preservation. No, that wasn’t it. You had common sense—you just didn’t want to fight. There was a difference.

You struggled to move the urn for a moment then gave up for a while, pacing before sitting down in the living room on the cushions that Sans had been too lazy to take back with him.

You sat there for a while, thinking and trying to relax, but you had to turn toward the doorway to the hallway so you could keep an eye on the urn. You were getting paranoid.

“I’ve gotta keep trying.” You sighed and returned to the urn again, dragging it toward the top of the stairs. Slow, painful progress. Its path left a divot in the floor.

_knock, knock._

“What was that?” You paused your labor and listened hard for a moment. Nothing.

You continued to pull the potted plant. You let out a strained breath and your grip slipped. It didn’t budge. You groaned in frustration.

_knock, knock._

Okay, you weren’t imagining that, were you? It was quiet enough you could barely hear it from here. From your room, you knew you would have never known.

You gave a disgusted look to the large urn and went downstairs toward the door.

Sans’s muffled voice reached you and you paused, listening intently. He wasn’t loud enough for the words to be clear, but you already felt better just knowing he was there.

You sat with your back against the doors and sighed. Your face split into a smile when you remembered Toriel telling you about how she met Sans.

_Let’s surprise him._

 

* * *

 

Sans thumped his skull against the door. “knock, knock.” He mumbled.

“No, it’s my turn to knock.”

He wasn’t surprised. He could feel your proximity, and he enjoyed it more than he wanted to admit. “knock away, then.”

“What if I’d rather ring?”

“heh, you’re getting too fancy with it now.”

You laughed softly, and he sighed at the sound. He loved that noise. Somewhere between relief and mischief…

He could never really predict your actions. Perhaps that was one of the things he liked best.

“so, shale… why is there a flower pot out here?”

“I’m getting rid of all plant life in my house. It… doesn’t feel safe.”

“why?” He couldn’t help but ask.

“Something, or someone was in my room while I was gone, and I’m absolutely sure they came from the pot on my desk.” You were quiet for a moment. “I’ve been trying to move that damned urn but it’s too heavy…”

He chuckled. “want some help?” Despite his light tone, he was very nervous about this. He didn’t know the flowers could spawn in the pots. Did they even have rules? Could they just… literally spawn _anywhere_?

You made a noise of feigned shock. “Sans, if I didn’t know better, I’d say you were volunteering for physical labor!”

“i have gravity magic, shale.” He reminded. “c’mon, lemme help you so you don’t pull a muscle or something.”

You feigned deliberation as you got up to open the doors. Sans stepped through and smirked back at you. Your smile widened. He knew he shouldn’t be able to feel your emotions or proximity, even this close to you, but he couldn’t really care. If this was what bonding felt like, it was worth it, he decided.

“Hey, I’m gonna go make some coffee. I doubt I’ll be able to sleep tonight…”

He had to admit, he was surprised that you were concerned at all… but he could tell by the way you stared at the urn as you passed it that it wasn’t just concern.

 _well_ … He mused, _at least i’m not fighting to protect someone who can’t protect themself._

As you left to make coffee, he used his magic to take the urn back downstairs and out the door. He took a shortcut back to the hallway and grabbed the other urn with water sausages, managing to get downstairs with it before you got back.

Together, the two of you got all of the plantlife out of the house, and then sat down to enjoy the coffee together. The air was still tense, Sans noticed.

“Don’t think less of me, Sans… but I’m kinda scared to live here anymore.”

“heh, no worries. this place is kinda creepy, especially the kid’s room.”

You nodded vehemently and stared into your coffee. “I thought about… moving to the lab, but… I know Flowey can appear there, too… and Asgore is there, too, isn’t he?”

Sans nodded. “i honestly didn’t mind you staying with us, you know. I understand you like living in a space you can call your own, though…” He waited for you to disagree, to say that it would be a perfect fix to just come stay with them permanently, but you didn’t. You nodded and stared back into your cup for a while.

He sighed. “i mean, if you feel lonely, you could always invite someone over. i’m sure undyne would love to stay over and torture you. just about anyone would be willing to stay here with you.”

You shook your head after a moment. “Whatever is coming is too dangerous.”

“heh, shale… if i didn’t know better, i’d think you were implying—”

“If I’m being targeted, I don’t want anyone else getting hurt. It’s not that I don’t think they can’t handle some danger—I’m saying that I don’t want to risk them dying when it doesn’t have to happen.” You didn’t look up.

Sans was still trying to figure out how to politely say that he was more concerned about _your_ safety, when you continued, still not breaking eye contact with your cup’s contents.

“I do know one monster though…” You muttered. “Pretty sure they could survive such a confrontation… and they know their way around enough that we could just run away if the odds aren’t in our favor.”

At first, Sans just sat there trying to figure out who the fuck you were talking about. “oh… you mean me.” He grinned like an idiot. “wait…” Did that just mean…? “shale, are you asking me to stay the night?” He wanted to joke that the two of you were moving too fast, but secretly, he was thrilled.

“Only if you want to.” You said hurriedly, finally looking up from the cup. You were blushing so hard and he couldn’t help but smile crookedly at you.

“sounds cool, but i’ll have to move these cushions around a bit.” He gestured at the cushions.

“Nonsense.” You grinned in that malicious way, emboldened despite your embarrassment.

“uhh?”

You grabbed his hands and tugged him to his feet with you. “Roses are red, violets are blue. Guess what? My bed has room enough for two.” You grinned and watched with a huge amount of satisfaction as his face turned a rich sapphire blue again.

“uhh, shale?” He was going to be able to speak again soon, right? He could only stammer as you led him by the hand toward your room.

“No different than sleeping on the couch together.” You said. “Just more comfortable.”

He mentally sighed in relief. He wasn’t entirely sure what he was doing, what _you_ were doing. He wasn’t sure if this was a good idea, but… Hell, like you’d said, the two of you had slept on the couch together, right? Platonically, if you ignored his hand placement the next morning…

 _fuck, i need to quit thinking about that._ “uhh… you sure about this?”

You hitched a brow at him. “Look, to be fair, I’m used to holding onto your jacket when I sleep now… and I have less nightmares when I know you’re around. Don’t you?”

Hesitantly he nodded.

“Are you uncomfortable?” You asked. “If so, I’ll drop it, and we’ll figure something else out.”

He found himself furiously shaking his head. He couldn’t articulate again. It frustrated him beyond measure, and he was beginning to wonder why he was having this much trouble with simple words.

You smiled at him and gestured to the bed. “Wall or no?”

“what?”

“Do you want to sleep against the wall?”

He was going to lose his fucking nerve at this rate. He merely shrugged, and you must have noticed his uneasy disposition, because you smiled and gathered some shorts to change into. “I’ll be right back. Get comfy, or whatever you do.”

You retreated from the room, presumably to change, and Sans sat on the bed, only now realizing how huge it was. “holy shit, what am i doing?” He muttered to himself and curled up. “do i cuddle, do i stay away, do i…” He swallowed his fears and put his back to the wall, staring out at the rest of the room.

The scent of you was strong, especially on the pillow under his head. Hell, and everything was so soft. But despite that, his mind still reeled. _how the fuck am i going to sleep?_

 

* * *

 

You came into your room to be greeted by the sound of soft snores. You smiled despite yourself and looked at him. His spine was against the wall, but his hands were drawn into his chest, his knees brought up.

 _Oh that’s too cute._ He was in the fetal position. As you approached the bed, you felt your face heat. You climbed up and drew the covers over the both of you. _What do I do, now?_ You wondered.

As if he could feel you staring, he let out a sleepy groan, low and gravelly, and turned away from you. You snickered quietly and decided to just go for it. You moved in close to him, hesitantly putting an arm around him.

At the contact, he let out a sigh and melted against you, as if drinking your warmth with his body. Emboldened once more, you buried your face into the hood of his coat—which he must have forgotten to take off. You didn’t mind. You’d become used to sleeping with it in your arms, anyway.

You decided that what was in the coat was more satisfying to hold than just the coat alone.

For a while, you lay there, listening to him breathe, feeling the steady pulsation of his magic in his bones. It was much like a heartbeat, you mused, but it didn’t have a sound so much as a constant pressure.

The smell of storms. Of the surface. You sighed into him and hugged him to you. Blissfully, you fell into the void of slumber without regrets. Without fears.

 

* * *

 

_A small house on the outskirts of town. Two cats. Undyne and Papyrus built an adult-sized playground in the backyard—they called it Training Equipment. You and Sans have your own room and Sans takes pains to change the poster hanging over the bed on the ceiling when you least expect him to. Last week it was a picture of roast beef. This week it’s a picture of Mettaton wearing only a string of Flickering Lights, blushing profusely._

_“Why?” You wheezed._

_“remember when paps had that seizure? it was from this. mettaton was stressed out, so the lights were strobing instead of flickering. didn’t know paps was epileptic.”_

_“That’s not funny!” You cried._

_He shrugged. “he thinks it is. hell, he’s the one who gave me this poster.”_

_“Quit letting him supply the posters. I don’t want another Bad Dragon incident!”_

_As if this prompted a change in scenery, you and Sans were in the park, the sun beaming relentlessly down on him. Despite it being summer, he put his hood up to avoid stares and the harsh light._

_“i never would have guessed that squirrels would be so cute.” He reached out for the creature in question as it stared at him with nearly intelligent eyes._

_“No, please don’t pick up the squirrel.” You begged, and for some reason you were actually terrified._

_“why?”_

_The whole scene was absurd, but not nearly as absurd as— “Because it’s actually a laser.”_

_“PEW PEW PEW.” The squirrel screeched as it raced away._

_~~That’s sweet and all, human, but you really need to focus.~~ That was a familiar voice._

_Everything went black as the voice began to speak again. You interrupted it._

_“Not you again.” You grumbled. “Look, just… let me enjoy my night without your cryptic bullshit.”_

_The River Person wasn’t going to take your shit._

~~_I will only say it once more. The White Ink Reports._ ~~

_“History repeats itself, yes. I fucking heard you the first two times. What relevance does that have?”_

_~~You are even more dense than Blue.~~ The unseen figure was shaking their head. You weren’t sure how you knew that._

_“Fuck you, and who is Blue?!”_

~~_Ask about the Reports and you might learn._ ~~

_You groaned in frustration. “Can’t you just go to hell? Eat my entire ass, or something? Just… I don’t pester you enough, so you have to invade my dreams now? Fuck you, man!”_

_~~Enjoy your squirrels, then.~~ The River Person sighed, and the park faded back into existence around you. Sans reached out to the laser squirrel and it shrieked and raced up his arm._

_“his name is ditty, and he is our son.” Sans said proudly._

The phone rang and you woke up roaring with laughter.

You picked up the phone as Sans struggled to wake up and figure out why you were laughing so hard. You must have scared the figurative shit out of him.

“Hehehe-hello.” You managed to speak at last into the receiver.

“B-Birdy? Hey, it’s Alphys… Uhm… could I get you to come in later? Sans, too. His phone must be off. I’ve been calling him for…”

“it’s six in the fucking morning, alphys!” Sans groaned next to you.

“Eep!” There was a pause. “Uh…….” You could _hear_ her blushing, you noted.

You didn’t bother correcting her assumption that was already forming. You didn’t honestly care. “Yeah, we’ll be in later.” You waited for a response for a moment. “See you then.” You hung up and looked at Sans. He stared up at you, rolling onto his back so he didn’t crane his neck.

“what the fuck was so funny?”

You described your son to him perfectly. “And his voice was like Morgan Freeman’s, but… he only said ‘Pew’ in a scream oh fuck, if you could have heard it.”

Sans was utterly confused but figured that it was most likely extremely funny. He made a note to look up this Morgan Freeman soon.

Your chuckling finally tapered off and you lay back down, wrapping him up and pulling him to you.

“shale, aren’t we getting up?”

You nuzzled into the coat. “I said later. Not immediately.”

His arm was around your shoulder, and he laughed a bit, the reverberations shaking you.

At last you sighed. “I had another dream, too. Bugged the hell out of me.” You admitted. “The River Person was telling me something about reports written in white ink.”

Was it your imagination, or did Sans stiffen under you. “Hey, did rigor mortis just set in, or something?”

You looked up at him and saw his pinpricks were gone. “what do you know about those reports?”

 _Well, not nearly as much as you think I do, apparently._ You thought, but you couldn’t speak.

He sighed, clenching his sockets closed for a moment, taking deep breaths. When he opened his sockets again, the pinpricks had returned. Solid, searching. Focused on you, fully aware.

“well…” He sat up a bit, scooting to how his back was supported by the headboard. You sat there awkwardly, trying to figure out what you should do. “the _river person_ was saying it?” He looked really aggravated about that.

“Yeah… he’s said it to me before. Twice, actually. History repeats itself, and then something about the reports written in white ink.”

“that fucking…” He growled, and made himself take deep breaths. “how long ago?”

You thought for a moment. “Not long after I got here, the first time… The second time… ehh, I think it was when we were fighting.”

“he tells me not to get close to you, but he tells you to ask about _that_?!” He seemed to be ranting more to himself than you, and you didn’t really try to butt in.

He looked at you after he’d calmed down. “so… i’ll get the fun part of it out of the way quickly.” His words dripped with sarcasm. “i’m not fully a monster.”

Was this a joke. “Umm…?”

“i’m… something different.”

“What do you mean, you’re not fully a monster?” You prompted.

“it means we have a lot to talk about.” He sighed and began rubbing his face, the bones scraping each other harshly. You didn’t interrupt him.

At last, when he’d gathered his words, he spoke again. “so my dad, gaster. i told you about him.” You nodded. “good… uh, so there was a human that fell down, and he experimented on him. he was the blue-souled human… and one of gaster’s experiments was… human-monster hybrids.”

He left that hanging there for you to respond to. You blinked at him. “You’re… half-human. What about Paps?”

He shrugged. “he doesn’t have any human parts to him… but… that’s not all it was. gaster bonded with the human. so even though paps doesn’t have anything of blue in him, technically… he still has maybe a bit of humanity in his soul. not enough to be noticeable… hell, i only just learned this a month or two ago…” He shrugged. “but neither of us are entirely monsters. no one else knows this, either.”

You stared at him, “Okay, well… I see why you didn’t open with that… but what are the white ink reports?”

“gaster wrote them about his hybrid experiments.” Sans explained. “the notes were also about how gaster went fucknut crazy when asgore killed blue.”

 _Welp… that explains why Sans has been on edge lately._ You thought.

“So why would the River Person be telling me this? There’s something here I’m not getting.”

He sighed, looking stressed out. “so gaster doesn’t exist in our world, right? well, that’s because he was trying to find a way to bring blue back. he failed, cuz he couldn’t get to his soul… and the thing that he was working on, to manipulate that shit… it fucked up big time and…”

He stared off into space for a moment. “that’s not important right now. so, after he… died, i guess… there was still an echo of him that he could somewhat control. it was his way of influencing the timelines… his way of trying to keep things from fucking up. he can’t directly influence anything, but…”

“Wait, so the River Person is Gaster’s ‘echo’?”

“yeah, that’s the closest i can explain it right now. i mean, he could explain it better, but you’d be listening to him drone for fucking days.”

“Wait, I can talk to him?”

Sans sucked in a breath. “i’m not really sure. _i_ can… but i’ve never tried to bring anyone else. plus, he’s kinda… painful to look at. the whole craziness and void thing, y’know?”

“No. I don’t know, really. But let’s pretend I do. You said he told you not to get close to me?”

Another sharp inhalation. “he told me not to bond any further with you in case you die. cuz he was scared it would fuck me up like it did him, basically.”

 _Also explains why he’s been on edge lately…_ “Did he give you any other little hints?”

He fidgeted. “not really. i’ve been avoiding him.”

“Sans, he might be our best chance at figuring out what’s going on. He can help us.”

He looked at you like you were crazy for a moment. Then it was like something dawned on him and his smile returned. He leaned in and pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “why are you always right?” he muttered.

“What are you thinking?” You asked reluctantly, sensing mischief in his voice.

“so you remember how you helped the amalgamates by singing to them, somehow?” Again, you nodded. “maybe you can help gaster be… less bitter or some shit. and maybe a bit more corporeal or something. he might even agree to help us out if that works in our favor…”

“You mean he doesn’t already want to help?”

“he’s more interested in ripping asgore limb from limb. heh… or petal from petal, i don’t know.”

“When can we go see him?” You asked firmly. When Sans’s gaze met yours, he shuddered slightly. You tried to gentle your expression.

“i guess whenever, but alphys is expecting us…”

You pulled out your phone. “I can fix that.” You said and dialed her.

 

* * *

 

Sans watched you while you politely told Alphys that you needed a day to prepare your nerves, and so did Sans. You told her that you weren’t sure meeting Asgore in human form was a good idea, considering he didn’t remember anything recent.

Sans admired your inventiveness, but was aware that he’d have to create the disguise again with you—risking bonding further with you in the process.

You hung up smiling. “She said she’s fine with that. Let’s go. Now.” You said.

Sans wasn’t ready for this, but there was little he could do at this point. Gaster had pressed this issue, after all—so he obviously had business with you. Sans was actually a bit relieved that he had to use the guise of the River Person to interact with you. His true incarnation wasn’t exactly pleasant to comprehend in any sense… and he wasn’t keen on seeing your face twist in pain at the sight. Not that it mattered, since you were about to see that true form, and soon.

He grabbed your hand, knowing that putting it off would only make him more anxious. “i know a shortcut.” He said.

The two of you were in Waterfall suddenly, and you looked around nervously. “Sans, I’m not wearing shoes… and I’m in shorts. My scars are showing.”

Sans pointed at the grey door that looked like it didn’t belong there. Your face clenched in confusion and you stared at it. “Okay, nevermind.” You grumbled.

Sans grabbed the door handle and opened it, ushering you in and following just behind you, wanting to be there to comfort you the moment the absence of reality hit you.

The room felt smaller than it had last time Sans had seen it. That was because he hadn’t been in here in more than three years, and he’d gotten a few inches taller since then. Or maybe it really was smaller? He wasn’t sure and he tried hard not to think about it.

There was a pool of shadow in the middle of the small room, and what appeared to be smoke swam out of it, wafting like ink in water, swirling, spreading—and took the form of what was left of Gaster.

You were frozen in place, and Sans held your hand, anchoring you to the physical world. You stared ~~into the Void~~ at Gaster, but ~~the Void stared back~~ Gaster smiled reassuringly at you before turning his gaze to Sans.

In a ciphered language Sans knew too well, Gaster spoke. Sans could feel your stomach turn from the sound of Gaster’s voice. “ ~~ **Sans, you have no sense of self-preservation, do you? I asked you to not get too close, and what are you doing?**~~ ”

Sans replied in the cipher, and your hand clenched around his. It was just as unpleasant to the ear in his voice, he knew… but… “ ~~ **you didn’t exactly care that much about my choices when paps and i were scrounging on the street.**~~ ”

Gaster didn’t reply for a moment. His regret was palpable, and you looked at Sans, unsure what was going on—and despite your curiosity, you weren’t sure you wanted to know. It physically hurt to hear this conversation.

Gaster gestured the two of you closer, and you found yourself moving despite wanting to remain rooted, as far from him as you could get. There was something very off-putting about Gaster, but you couldn’t place what—until you got close enough to see the absence of light swimming in his sockets.

He laughed, presumably at your expression, and the Void raged in his sockets, lapping at the cracks in his skull, resembling whisps of smoke.

Gaster spoke again, and you tried to prepare yourself—but were shocked to hear and understand his words… and even more shocked to discover that, when he spoke regularly, he sounded hauntingly familiar. “I’m glad to see you finally discussed this.”

Now that you looked at Gaster, you could see it, almost. The shadow of resemblance.

“You sound just like…”

Gaster sighed. “That is exactly the opposite of what we’re here to discuss.”

Sans growled in cipher. “ ~~ **don’t be fuckin rude, dad.**~~ ”

Gaster jolted a bit and his face cracked into a smile again. “My apologies, human. I forgot that this is the first time we’ve been properly introduced. Yes, you perceive my voice correctly. I am the progenitor of both Sans and Papyrus. It would only make sense for my… clone to sound like me.”

“You don’t consider him your son?” You asked, tone a bit more biting than either of the others thought you could currently muster.

Gaster hesitated. Sans glared at the former scientist. “Again, I apologize, human. That is not why we are here…” He gestured to you. “We need to talk about what could happen from here, concerning Asgore as well as Asriel.”

You couldn’t seem to keep your mouth shut. “You talk like Grillby.”

Sans sighed and stared at Gaster pleadingly. _please don’t be a dick. they don’t understand what’s going on, please understand that._ He mentally begged, prepared for the acerbity to come.

You seemed to realize you were being rude. “I’m sorry… this is just…”

Gaster nodded once, sharply before continuing. “I want to help you, truly I do. But I have demands.” He pointed to you. “ _You_ must find Blue for me. I don’t care what conditions must be met, but his soul will be freed.”

You nodded. “I mean, I would guess they’d all be free after the Barrier breaks.” You said.

“That is based on the assumption you’ll be alive to see it break.” He growled.

“gaster.” Sans growled again.

“Yes, yes, you think you’re intimidating. How cute.” He griped.

Sans looked at you. You gave him a reassuring smile. His gaze darted to his father. “can you… i don’t know… put him in the cone of silence or something?”

You shook your head and then winked at him out of Gaster’s sight. Sans saw your tentative smile shake.

You hummed low. It was a song he’d never heard before, but he could feel your magic emit in waves, stirring the air in the stagnant room. Gaster, untouched by the circulation, just stood there and stared at you, nonplussed.

Sans wondered if the magic would have any effect, but he prayed to whatever was listening that it would.

Gaster shook his head. “It’s truly a sweet notion, human, but if you intend to make me move on, you’ll be hard pressed to make any progress on my state.”

Sans could feel the hint of your pain as you were trying to shoulder some of Gaster’s suffering. He offered his support, squeezing your hand reassuringly again. You squeezed back, the hum becoming more forceful.

“Stop for now. Don’t burn yourself out.” Gaster warned. “If you must insist on trying to fix me like some busted music box, please don’t break your tools.”

You stopped humming and looked at Sans for guidance.

“he’s right. putting too much soul energy out might hurt you when we get out of here.”

You looked back at Gaster. Sans could feel your Determination rising again. He glanced at your soul, and sure enough, it was so bright.

“Now that they’ve tired themself out…” Gaster sighed, “The two of you should retreat for now, lay low until…” he nodded to you. “the human… builds their energy back up.”

He looked back at Sans, and spoke in that painful cipher again. “ ~~ **Regarding your relationship… Try not to have intentions. Humans are a complete rejection of plans and thoughts. They are chaos. They defy logic.**~~ ”

He spoke once more how you could understand. “I have much to think on. Please leave.”

Sans nodded. “you didn’t want to talk more?”

“Keeping them here could be hazardous. The cusp of the Void is about as dangerous as the Void itself. Humans react poorly to it.”

Sans was going to ask more questions, but Gaster’s image swam like static on a screen before he dispersed in a scatter of inky black smoke. The smoke fell like liquid down to the ground, coalescing into the puddle of shadow from before.

The two of you stared at it for a moment. Sans looked at you. “let’s go.”

For once, you didn’t argue. The moment the two of you got out of the room, you clung to Sans and let out a shaky breath. He put his arms around you and looked around warily. “hey, you’re gonna be okay.” He said. “i’m gonna take us back to your place, okay?”

You nodded against his shoulder, still shuddering.

 

* * *

 

You sat in front of your new TV, holding the controller, staring at the colossus stretching into the sky. You raised your sword… You paused the game and put the controller down.

Sans was in the kitchen, searching through your cabinets for the hot chocolate Toriel had put there when you were sick.

Alone, left to your thoughts, you remembered when you’d pried at the Void in his shattered soul. The Void didn’t budge, but his soul struggled to heal beneath it. Neither of them had noticed, you supposed… but Gaster was salvageable, at least partially.

But when you’d seen that mass pulsating over the shards of his soul… it had looked back. It looked back and you felt the Void in your own chest pulsate in answer.

 _He gave up hope._ You realized. _He became the absence of hope as well as the absence of light_.

You looked at the game. When the player killed a colossus, even though it furthered the player’s goal—the tendrils of darkness would fly from the body and pierce into the player, winding further into the body, writhing beneath the skin, corrupting…

That’s what the Void was. It was a writhing emptiness that once you let set in, it was nearly impossible to get rid of.

Could you help Gaster without succumbing to that same emptiness? The seed was still there—and you weren’t keen on the idea of letting it bloom… but you wanted to help. Gaster could be saved. There was so much he could do…

But you knew better. Gaster was in no hurry to leave the Void one way or another. Not until the conflict was resolved. He could read between the lines, he saw what was ahead—or what was likely to be ahead. When that was no longer necessary, you’d think more on this.

Maybe you’d be on the surface by then.

You looked at the burn mark on your wrist and wondered what kind of tattoo you would get over it, in a perfect world where everyone could make it to the surface without danger, without human cruelty.

Sans returned with two cups of hot chocolate and an anxious look on his face. He noticed you staring blankly at your scars and sat down next to you, handing you a cup. He put his down in front of him on the floor and took the controller.

You shook your head. “Let’s play something…” It was the first thing you’d said aloud since the two of you had returned.

“brighter.” He provided, and you let out a tiny noise of relief, barely staving off the sob that tried to follow. You were surprised it had come out. Sans turned to you, the anxiety in his eyes plainly obvious. “i’m sorry. i shouldn’t have let you come.”

You shook your head. You searched for the words to explain what you felt, what you knew.

“if there’s anything i can do…”

You set the cup down and grabbed one of the couch pillows. You settled it in his lap and put your head on it. You told yourself that when speech became possible again, you’d tell him everything. He could help you make sense of it. You trusted him.

Shadow of the Colossus gave way to Okami, and the music lulled you into serenity. Still you couldn’t speak. You watched the game for a while, but then turned your attention to his face, staring up at him, studying his expression as he breezed through the game.

“Sans.”

He paused and looked down at you, eyes full of worry. He was searching your soul, noting that the brightness from earlier had faded. The shade of your soul had darkened from emotional exhaustion. But there was still strength, and something else there…

“Thank you for keeping me safe.”

He blushed a bit. He was trying to find words, but the silence stretched again. He settled for leaning down and kissing your forehead.

You felt your face break into a smile. You were suddenly aware of just how easy he made it for you to PERSEVERE.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So how was that? Worth the initial scare?
> 
> Do you still hate me? Tell me your reaction in the comments!
> 
> Also, keep an eye out for updates on the other fics, as well as the eventual start of Someone I Can Trust (the Grillster prequel story). If you want to know how progress goes, you can follow me on tumblr (http://zaiyofics.tumblr.com/) -- and get this, guys! I opened my ask box, so if you have questions for any of the characters, just throw me an ask (make sure to tell me who needs to answer it!) and they'll answer it as soon as they figure out how to use tumblr!
> 
> This goes for any of the characters in the Soul-Searcher storyline, as well as Always In Threes (Sparx is very eager to answer questions). So please feel free to drop me a line in the comments, or any of us on tumblr!
> 
> Thank you guys so much for your support and love. You make it easier to get up in the morning lol.


	30. *you're still here, right? i need proof. show me you're still here.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After all that stressful shit with meeting Gaster, you and Sans just want to chill out and remind each other that you can get through all of this.  
> Oh, and we confront the issue of Sans's lack of HP.  
> After thirty chapters, you finally see San's soul. What could POSSIBLY go wrong?
> 
> Uh... and stuff.
> 
> *Trigger warning: Heavy intimacy, will be set aside with trio of asterisks, if that makes you uncomfortable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys... Um, so things are going to be crazier than I anticipated. See, when I get stressed out, I write to calm down. Today was so stressfull that I wrote 75% of this chapter in two hours... Hahahahhh so... The rest of this week is going to be stressful, too, and so I'm starting to think I might be spending a lot of time writing at nights (rather than sleeping) but that's okay, right? At least we all have something to show for it!
> 
> The second song referenced in this chapter, Byakuya by Monolith, is linked in the story, but I'll link it again right here in case it doesn't work correctly: http://dai.ly/xnw9e2?start=91. The link will bring you to a video that has a decent translation. I suggest you listen to the song and read the translation. It will give you hella feels, because it's PRETTY APPROPRIATE FOR THIS CHAPTER.

Neither of you could focus on the video game. He turned it off and the two of you just sat together in the silence. You wondered if you’d be able to convince him to stay tonight, as well, now that you’d found your voice again…

“hey, shale…” It was _that_ tone of voice again. He only sounded like that when he wanted to ask you about something he thought you wouldn’t want to talk about. You nodded to let him know you were listening. That you would answer. “tell me about the surface. the way you saw it… like… what were your dreams?”

You smiled a bit. “Well… I wanted to sing… but I kinda figured that would never happen… so I gave up.”

“why?”

“Well, I had no connections, and I’m not so stand-out that people notice me over everyone else.”

“bullshit.”

“Also… well, believe it or not, I was really shy on the surface. If you would have told me back then, that I would have hundreds of fans begging me through Mettaton, the entertainment messiah of the Underground, to go on tour so they can personally see me perform…” You took a breath. “Even right now, that seems so surreal. So unbelievable.”

“why, though?”

You shrugged. “I’ve been told that I’m good, but just not good enough. That everything sounds the same. You know… stuff like that.”

He sighed. “i don’t get it, shale. it fucking pisses me off that those assholes fucking belittled you when they could have been the ones to build you up!”

“Dude, it’s no big deal.”

“like hell it’s not!”

“It means I’m here right now, doesn’t it? And just because it used to be my dream doesn’t mean it’s my dream right now.” You creased your brow in realization. “I mean, I kind of already achieved it?”

He looked at you for a while, waiting for you to say what your current dream was, but you didn’t offer it.

“heh… remember the first time you really sang for me?” He asked instead.

“Clock Strikes.” You answered. “Gods, I’m surprised I could sing through the lump in my throat. I was so fucking tense.”

“when you sang that for me, heh… you almost made me start crying.”

“Incidental, right? The lyrics fit perfectly.”

 

“and yet the lyrics i remember best weren’t from the original.”

You flinched and looked up at him. You remembered it now. You had deviated. ~~(“We don’t have to be friends. You can keep me ‘til the end.”)~~

“yeah, i looked it up. and that other one, too…”

Your face turne a brilliant shade. _I thought I stopped myself from saying it!_ You clamored internally. ~~(“I know how I’d treasure my life… with you.”)~~

His smile was gentle. “wanted to see what inspired you.” He paused. “but they didn’t make me feel the way you did.”

“Yeah…” You replied nervously, looking away. “Live… and stuff.” _Fuck, if he only knew…_

“no. it wasn’t any of that.” He pointed at your chest. “when you sing, you wear your soul on the outside, and you bleed everything you feel out. you throw your desires, your fears… everything into a few words and notes and suddenly, you have the whole underground wrapped around your fingers.” He chuckled. “and me, too.”

You put a hand over your chest defensively. “Wouldn’t I see it if my soul was out?”

“no, and no one else can see it either. but we can feel it.” He said. “heh, _i_ can see it, of course. if i look. but my point is, i don’t have to.”

What exactly do you say to something like that?

“So… uh…?”

“when you sing, i feel different. like i was years ago, back before the resets started. i always thought i wouldn’t be able to feel like that again…”

You could feel something resonating. You lay down on the cushions, staring at the ceiling. “I think I understand that. I mean, it doesn’t erase what has happened. But I feel a lot more like I used to, too.”

Sans looked lost in thought for a moment. “hey, would you like to sing something?” He asked after a moment. “we never really… got to sing together, except for…”

You blushed. “I… I don’t know very many songs with multiple singers or…”

“heh, let’s just play it by **ear** then.”

You grinned up at his smug face and… “Hah—I think I figured out a fun [song](https://youtu.be/Z64PXFkSS7Q).” You said and pulled yourself up. Your voice was toned low. You weren’t really all that serious in trying to sound good, but you were smiling way too hard to care. “It’s close to perfect, I think.”

He looked at you curiously as you began singing, the tune reaching him from the speaker hooked to your belt loop. “I’ve got syphilitic hetero friends in every part of town. I don’t hate them but I know them. I don’t want them hanging around.” You walked on your knees, getting closer to him, throwing your arms around his shoulders and playfully making him sway along.

“I won’t roll my bones for every little girl who gets on down. I got space and space got me I should be selling it by the pound.” Your grin hitched a bit when he looked into your eyes and blushed faintly. You came in a little closer. “Ever since I heard the voice, I thought I had no choice,” You pressed a small kiss to his face. “but then I kissed him.”

You didn’t get to gloat over his blushing, continuing to sway the two of you as you bled into the next verse. “I don’t mind if I get broken, I don’t mind if I get fixed. I don’t mind if I’m not spoken, I don’t mind if I get kicks.”

His smile was crooked, and he fervently darted glances at your lips, obviously wondering when you’d strike again. “If I wake up dead, I’ll wake up just like any other day. And the photographs of god I bought have almost faded away.”

He would be ready this time. “Everything just passes by. I thought it always would… but then I kissed him.”

He… was just staring at you. You cocked your head at him and the music faded from your speaker. “Sans? What’s wrong?”

He embraced you tightly. “shale…” He pulled away excitedly and thumped himself on the sternum. “i don’t know how you did it…”

“What the fuck was that about?” You looked at his sternum and then at his face, brow hitched.

“shale, i’ve been on the brink of death for like… ten years. or more. probably more.”

“And?” Yeah, that was some weird and shitty information, but you needed to know why he was so happy about it!

He grabbed your face and kissed you once. He sighed, calming himself down. “alright, let me explain, then. so… monsters are made up of magic.”

“Duh.”

“yes, duh. okay… so, our souls have limitations. y’know? like, there are a lot of factors?” He was gesturing a lot with his hands, much like he did trying to communicate with Gaster. It made you snicker at his zeal. “shut up.” He protested jokingly. “alright… so monsters have a lot of things that factor in… and one of those things is our hope. we… uh, can’t really live without something to live for.”

You nodded. “Yeah, that kinda makes sense. What other factors are there?”

“not important right now, shale. focus.”

“Rude.” You smiled at him.

“so i… had no real hope. a simple attack, if it landed, would kill me. i just don’t have enough hope to survive any kind of encounter.”

You stared at him. Again, you recalled Undyne telling you that all it would take was one hit… but you had thought it was because she was strong. Now you knew… And that time you and he had sparred together. If all of those pellets hadn’t been absolutely harmless…

“shale, wake up.” He snapped his fingers in front of your face. “so… just now… whatever you did with your magic, it… for lack of a better term… it raised my stats.”

“Wait, what?”

“my level of violence didn’t increase, but my hope did… i don’t know what the hell is happening, but…” His eye lights grew larger. “holy shit, what if this is what helped the amalgamates?” He was beyond excited now, and you were chuckling as he took on a very animated attitude, gesticulating wildly now. “shale, can i see your soul?”

“Uh, can’t you see it anyway?”

“no, i mean physically. it’s different, trust me.”

“…Sure?” You weren’t sure why you felt like this was different from all the times he’d seen your soul in the lab, but… for some reason, as he coaxed the russet soul from your chest, you felt naked. Maybe it was the way he looked at it, awed, that made you wonder exactly what it was he saw. What would happen, you thought, if he tried to touch it?

You flinched at the memory of the one other time your soul had been touched. The pain had been so intense you had passed out. It had even injured your soul’s energy.

“can you sing? i want to see what your soul does when you sing…”

You drew a blank. Nothing came to mind. You were anxious, and your heart wasn’t in the music. You hummed a bit, but couldn’t summon a song to mind, nor the emotions necessary for the desired result.

“would it help if i sang along?” He asked, his expression sympathetic.

You realized you’d never seen his soul. Alphys had shown hers once in the lab, to explain the differences between human and monster, and Mettaton had had his out on set during the shooting of Phantom of the Underground…

“i know that look. i’m sorry, but i can’t.” He said.

It kind of hurt, that blatant rejection. Did he not trust you enough?

“shale, i told you about how dad got, right? i just… don’t want to do that, too.”

Right. Him taking his soul out right now, with yours out as well, might result in a deeper bond than the relatively mild one you were sharing currently. He was afraid of that, not of you…

It only helped a little. “even if it was only this once, it would be crossing a line we won’t be able to go back over afterward.” He continued softly, and you realized that he could feel your emotions. He was trying to comfort you.

“Let me think of a song.” You said, looking away from the sight of him with your soul hovering over his palms. You wouldn’t push him—you could respect his boundaries. He’d respected yours, hadn’t he?

  
[Monolith Byakuya PV with English and Romaji...](http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xnw9e2_monolith-byakuya-pv-with-english-and-romaji-subtitles_music) _by[Rawwwnnie](http://www.dailymotion.com/Rawwwnnie)_

You sang the first thing that came to mind. “Ah… sore wa sukeru youni… hora… suri sukete kieru… ah, marude yume mitai… hanare temo nando demo mata deaunda…”

He stared in fascination at your soul. “heh… i can feel the words before you sing them…” From the look in his eyes, you were confident he felt what the words meant, too.

You blushed a bit. He looked up and saw you, and something in his eyes changed. He went from exuberantly happy to… you could feel a humming burn in your soul. He was dangerously close to touching it before he realized what he was doing and handed it back to you, looking away nervously.

“shale… do you want to see it?” He mumbled.

“Your soul?” He nodded. “Only if that’s what you want.”

He nodded again. “you know what that means, right? even if we don’t touch in any shape or form… our souls being exposed in proximity to each other… especially with the amount of magic you’re exuding…”

“We’ll be bonding. Legitimately.”

He didn’t meet your eyes. “i don’t know how it’ll affect either of us. i’m technically only half monster… so… i don’t know how much it’ll differ from normal bonding.”

You reached out and touched his face. You expected a number of things. Flinching, resistance… but he leaned into your touch as if he’d been craving it intensely. Your heart beat erratically in your throat. “I’m cool with it if you are.” You said softly, and he nodded. You brought your hand back to cup your soul and he put his palm over his sternum.

He looked like he wanted to say something. He was nervous, but he finally just shook his head, took a deep breath, and tugged his soul into visibility.

At least… you _hoped_ that was his soul.

“Uh… it looks like lava from a lava lamp.” You mused, cocking your head. You had expected it to look like a monster’s soul, sure… but aside from coloration (or, rather, the lack thereof) it was entirely foreign.

He shrugged nervously. “i…uh, used to think maybe it was too lazy to choose a form…”

You wanted to touch it. You could feel energy pulsating in waves from it, and it was starting to make you dizzy. “Should I sing?” You asked, meeting his eyes at last. He nodded, and for all his anxiety, he seemed just as dazed as you.

Softly, you continued to another part of the song you’d begun. “Fureru koto mo naku tata mi horete itara raku kanaa...” You were going to continue, but the white gelatinous soul hovering over his shaking hand began to move under the caress of your magic. It moved in toward itself, and from its center bled a bit of sapphire blue. When you stopped singing, it slowly turned white again and began to break apart as it was.

Sans’s breathing worried you most. “Are you hurt?”

“no. please keep going.” He answered when he could finally breathe again.

You nodded and focused on singing. “Kotoba ga nakya kizu tsukeru koto mo nakatta darou.” His soul again solidified, and the blue spread slowly across his soul, and you felt something there. You went on, trying to identify what it was you were feeling. "Daki awa nakya kono tsume tasa nado shirana kata rou."

You felt phantom hands nudging you closer to him, and you quit singing. Your souls both moved out of the way as you held each other. “Are you okay, Sans?”

He let out an unsteady breath into your shoulder. “ah… i feel better. calmer…” He pulled back and looked into your eyes.

_galaxies_. You felt an echo of the word from somewhere. You could feel him struggle with himself—and win. He turned his face into the fluff of his jacket. You could feel exactly what he was feeling, so the gesture did little more than comfort him temporarily. He was scared, but in spite of that fear, he wanted something more.

You thought for a moment. Why was the empathy between you suddenly so intense? You looked around and saw that your souls were moving closer to one another, as if magnetized.

“i can feel your heartbeat in my head.” He breathed against your neck and you shivered. You could only nod. You could feel that throbbing sensation similar to a pleasant burn through your bones.

You didn’t know what to do. The sensations were relaxing, and you found yourself sinking against him, your arms going around him. He clutched at you, too, sighing again.

He was confused, and you could feel it. His voice rumbled against you, resonating through your soul, and you found yourself joining into the song that was all too familiar to you.

It was a song you’d never shared with Sans. You’d made the song ages before, something to hum when you couldn’t sleep, back on the surface. It was a song of pain. A song to forget that time would continue to pass.

No lyrics were required as the two of you held tighter, vocalizing together, one note leading into another, voices gently caressing each other in a dance of merging past and present. Yesterday’s pain had brought you a new future, hadn’t it? A song once full of so much hurt now reminded you that it had been worth bearing it, just for this moment. Just to sit here and share everything with him.

Sans turned his head to look at the souls and gasped. He reached out to grab his soul to move it away—but his hand closed around yours instead. In that brief second you tried to anticipate the pain to come, the agony of feeling someone clutch your soul again—but the noise that came out of your mouth wasn’t one of pain.

 

***

 

Sans looked at the suddenly vivid soul in his hand, and heard your song give way to a low moan. Everywhere his fingers touched flashed vibrantly, and Sans sat dumbfounded. Gaster’s reports had been vague about human reactions to this kind of thing—and monsters didn’t exactly talk about this.

Apparently, though, if what he discerned was correct… well, you certainly weren’t in pain.

His thumb brushed against the plane of your soul and your voice cracked and you doubled over, shuddering.

Panicking, believing that he actually _had_ hurt you, he let go of your soul and helped you off the floor. Now standing, you collapsed against him, unable to make coherent sentences.

Breathlessly he apologized again and again, but he could feel your state, feel your heart hammering in his skull. Your fingers were clutching his coat, and you pulled at it, trying to stand straighter. At least, that’s what he thought you were trying to do.

When you managed to look up, you pressed your mouth to his and kissed, making tiny gasping noises and murmurs that sent shocks through his bones.

Sans realized that the bridge was definitely burned now. He could feel your jumbled thoughts, and he was aware that you could probably feel his. _all of that avoidance, trying not to make the same mistake he did… fuck._

“Is this… a m-mistake?”

He looked into your lidded eyes. “no.” Your soul was close to his hand, as if you were pleading him to touch it again—and he realized that was quite possibly what the incoherent mess in your head was trying to say. “may i?”

“Please!” You pressed your face into his chest, legs wobbling. He put an arm around your waist to steady you, and the other hand reached out to gently rub against your soul again. You writhed against him, letting out noises he’d never imagined you could make. Every one of them made him tremble.

You looked up in his eyes, desperate for more understanding of what he was feeling. You wanted to feel what he felt, you wanted him to feel what you felt. His pinpricks bore into you, and your soul felt heavy. Not from his magic’s grip, but because suddenly you could feel the extent of his feelings—and yours.

“i don’t want to lose you.” He said, squeezing you tighter to him again.

“You won’t.” You told him, but you could feel his doubt.

You could see over his shoulder now. His soul stretched toward you. You could feel him begging you to make him believe, to give him that hope, even if it could be taken away, he needed to feel like this moment was permanent.

You reached out, and the softest contact between you and his soul led to it leaping into your grasp, pressing against your hand. At the touch, Sans let out an almost frightening noise, like a growl, rumbling through your whole body, through your soul and you cried out from the sensation.

His legs shook and the two of you realized too late that he no longer had the strength to hold either of you up. Collapsed on the ground, he held you closer, panting into your shoulder as you marveled at his soul in your hand. You could still feel his touches, roughening with need, but an evil grin lit your face.

Sans could feel your intent, and though he was slightly scared, he didn’t object. You brought the fluid soul to your face, and pressed a soft kiss against it.

 

 

You woke up intwined with Sans on your bed. After a moment’s sleepy inspection, both of your souls had returned to your bodies, but you couldn’t remember much of what happened. How did you get into bed?

You tried to move, but Sans clutched you back to him. You don’t have the heart to pull away—not when it feels so damn right to just stay right where you are.

He was an absolute mess, you realized with no small amount of amusement. You could hear his phone going off in the living room. “Sans, you gotta get up. Papyrus is probably worried sick.”

You heard footsteps in your house and stiffened. Your bedroom door was open, allowing Undyne to follow the sound of your voice directly into your room. She knocked on the door just for the satisfaction of having both of your attention. “I so fucking called it.” She said with a toothy grin and then walked off.

At this point, you realize that both you and Sans, at some point, had taken off your shirts. Even more worrisome was that you didn’t see the shirts and Sans’s coat in your room—so that meant they were in the living room, strewn in ways you could only imagine.

Oh, for fuck’s sake, you really needed to fill the blanks in of your memory.

You and Sans made eye contact, and then you both stared at each other’s bodies without even trying to hide it. Had you ever seen him without a shirt before? Your realized you hadn’t. You thought for a moment to try to cover some of your scars but the thought just sat there. You didn’t feel the need to do so—and he didn’t look disgusted, or even angry, or pitying.

He looked enraptured. He reached out and touched your stomach, tracing along a raised ridge with his fingertip. You reached out and wrapped your fingers around one of his ribs experimentally, checking his expression for a sign that it hurt him.

The two of you stayed like that for a few minutes, exploring the strangeness of each other’s torsos. For someone who was so fragile, and who felt so soft to hug, his bones felt rigid when you tugged on them, and your confusion made him laugh, even as you used the easily accessible leverage to pull him in for a kiss.

At last, the two of you began to talk aloud.

“So what happened after I kissed your soul?” You asked softly, noting that the sound of your voice, husky from sleep, made him shudder.

“i think i was a bit too rough on your soul. no one ever told me… how exhausting this stuff is.” He muttered, his own sleep-rasped voice making your toes curl. You smiled and moved closer, snuggling against him. His arms went around you again, and his fingers traced the markings across your shoulders and back. The touches were feather-light, almost ticklish. You shivered under his administrations and pressed a happy kiss to his clavicle.

_What would happen if I gnawed on him?_ You thought and chuckled against him.

“i’m having trouble remembering some of the stuff, too.” He admitted. “there’s a whole span of it where i don’t know where we were or what we were doing, but suddenly we’re sitting in the floor, stripped to the waist… and you’re out cold on my chest.”

You giggled again and he squeezed you. “dunno when our souls went back where they belong, but…”

“That doesn’t matter.” You finished his thought.

“yeah.” He nuzzled into your hair, breathing in the scent of you. “i was fading in and out… so i just… got us to bed.” He explained, and after a moment his voice returned in a whisper. “was it good for you?”

You let out a huff of laughter.

“i-i meant… in comparison to normal… ugh, _human_ ways.” He said, tone turning slightly clinical. He was hiding his curiosity under his science-ing tone. _How cute_. You snickered.

“Different… but definitely a good experience.” You humored him. You knew that ‘Human-style’ sex made him uncomfortable, and you respected that. Hell, you were secretly a bit thankful for it. Sure, you’d enjoyed it in the past… but you were afraid that it would bring back bad memories.

The last thing you wanted to think about while tangled in his arms was your abuser, you reaffirmed. The irony being that at the moment of thinking this, you were indeed still wrapped in Sans’s arms.

 

***

 

Your reverie was broken by your phone ringing—and it was at the foot of the bed, somehow. You leaned up and answered it without checking who was calling.

“B-Birdy! Is everything okay?”

“Oh, hey, Alphys.” You said cheerily. “You just missed Undyne.”

“I know! But anyway…” She trailed off. “As sweet as it i-is for you guys to be… uh… Anyway! You’re both late to work.”

You laughed. “I’m sorry, Alphys. Uh… We’ll be there soon? As soon as possible?” You said, noting that while you were talking, Sans had gotten up to go answer his own phone. Out of earshot, you sighed happily into the phone.

Alphys definitely noticed. “Thanks a lot, Birdy. I owe Undyne f-five gold now.”

“For what?”

“When you called in yesterday, she said you two would be…”

“Oh, gods, really?” You put your head in your hands. “We really didn’t plan this, I assure you.”

“But it st-still happened?”

You smiled. “…Yeah.” You could hear Sans telling Papyrus he was going to work soon and would see him that evening. “Hey, we’re gonna get ready. Bye.” You said and hung up quickly.

Sans was holding his shirt and jacket. “couldn’t find your shirt anywhere.”

“That’s because it’s the one you’re holding.” You chuckled.

“oh.” He remembered now. “when did you get my shirt, anyway?”

“Remember when I left my special tank top at your place? When we watched the movie that freaked you out?”

He nodded. You got up and started changing clothes. You didn’t feel weird with him watching, though you felt that perhaps you should. You glanced at him to see him staring at you as if he were deep in thought.

“What’s up, bonehead?”

He was looking at your back, you noted. His voice was soft. “what’s skin feel like?”

You cracked up. “That wasn’t what I expected.” You gave him a dubious look. “Didn’t you feel it enough last night, or just a few minutes ago, for that matter?”

He flushed a bit and pulled on his coat. “yeah, but… like, touching it and wearing it are two different things, right?” He paused and then looked horrified. “fuck, that sounded a lot more… murdery than i meant it.”

“I… don’t really know how to explain it.” You admitted. “Maybe next time we… do that, you can pay attention to it, see for yourself?”

At the mention of ‘next time’ his pinpricks widened and his grin stretched wider. You felt your own face mirror his (as best it could).

The knowledge that nothing was stopping the two of you from being happy filled you with DETERMINATION.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY I REACHED ANOTHER MILESTONE?  
> This is seriously the longest I've spent on a single idea-- and also the most devoted (read: DETERMINED) I've been to a single idea... and it's thanks to you guys! 
> 
> Uh... eventually, I'll have the song that Sans and Shale are humming together made (It's called the Song of Past Pain)... It actually exists... it's just... in development. It's seriously the first song I've ever made (just like this is my first fanfic, haha) and so it feels like it just fits here. And with a game like Undertale, with its amazing soundtrack, I felt the need to make Shale their own theme. So, keep an eye out. I'll update this, as well as put a link to it in the future, both in the fic and on tumblr!
> 
>  
> 
> If you haven't already, check out the new fics I've posted, including the Bittybones fic, and the Underswap fic.  
> Oh, and get ready. After this next chapter, I'll be posting a new chapter on Plot Holes and Palm Holes.  
> About what? 
> 
> *What happened to Frisk?
> 
> Be sure to tell me what you thought of this chapter in the comments. It seriously makes it much easier to face my day knowing that people are enjoying my work! (Also, tell me what you think of that song. It was almost a different song entirely... and I learned how to insert videos by mistake... so tell me if it works or not! I might start using that method more often lol)


	31. Selective Memory and Side Effects

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet Asgore, former ruler of the Underground, now reduced to a somewhat forgetful sentient being robbed of mobility and control of his surroundings. 
> 
> Also, let's learn what effect bonding had on your soul.
> 
> ...and stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took way too long to write. It was the most plot-heavy chapter in the outline (so far at least) and then when I was writing it... Asgore started talking... and wouldn't shut up... but it was soooo good... and it builds perfectly into Someone I Can Trust (when I can finally start on it, that is.)
> 
> Speaking of starting on things-- check on my most recent endeavors! I started the Swap-Searcher fic (though it will need to be reworked, as i'm not at all satisfied with it.) As well as the Bitty fic, which has been running wild in my head.
> 
> Also, regarding the remark Sans made earlier about "Papyrus fucking the toaster" I made a crack fic, the shortest thing I've ever written. It is entitled Papyrus Fucks the Toaster. Pretty self-explanatory, right? It's hilarious, so please check it out. I'll put a link to it in the ending notes, for those interested.

“so, uh… are we gonna do that thing?”

“What? Oh, yeah. I need to be disguised…” You grinned sheepishly at him. “So… just… the same way as last time?”

He nodded and said, “maybe you can help me out by doing some of it, too. like with the sword.”

You hummed in agreement and both of you summoned your magic. You shut your eyes and concentrated on the form you’d chosen. Could you change it up, you wondered briefly. Perhaps not be a dragon this time? Ah, why not just stick with what you were relatively comfortable with?

You focused as hard as you could, feeling his magic weave with yours in a way you could almost call intimate. You loved the feeling of the chill against your skin that was no longer skin. You stretched your wings, letting out a small gasp at the gentle touch to the membranes. You turned to look at him and laughed when you realized you had to look down.

“why are you taller?” He grumbled.

You leaned down and grinned at him. “I’m not complaining.” You told him, smugness dripping from your tongue. You felt him staring at your mouth and then he snorted. “What? What’s so funny?”

“just trying to picture that scene from alphys’s fic where mettaton’s trying to kiss you.”

“What? Think I can’t kiss in this form?”

“shale… you can barely speak. you’re using magic to communicate so you don’t have to move your mouth.”

“Is that what you do?”

He shrugged. “when it’s convenient, i can open my mouth.”

You sighed. “Let’s just go. As it stands, Alphys is aware we…”

“yeah….” The word stretched on and he looked away.

“Soul- **boned**? Is that the proper phrase?”

He chuckled. “it is now. c’mon. i know a shortcut.”

 

* * *

 

Alphys hadn’t entirely expected you to be in that form, and she looked away shyly. You looked at yourself and cursed. “That thing that Grillby lent me, can you go get it?” You asked Sans politely.

Alphys was staring at you now, as if to beg you to reconsider.

“I… I mean, you…” She trailed off, face stark crimson. “…look good.” Her voice was tiny.

“It’s weird that I look like this, isn’t it? I get taller, my chest get’s broader… and…” You looked down at your legs. “I mean, monsters have to summon that stuff special, don’t they?”

Alphys squeaked in discomfort.

“Are all monsters… well, I guess the word is androgynous?”

She buried her face in her hands. “Somewhat…” She finally admitted. “A monster’s body is the extension of the soul… so…”

“Dude, I just realized. If I figure out how to fly, I could _so_ go fast as hell! No drag, you know? Shit, I look smooth as fuck!” You were getting excited. “Do you think these things work?” You pointed a clawed thumb at your wings which twitched open in response.

Alphys shrugged and turned away. “I’m… not used to hearing your regular voice with that. Last time…”

“Yeah, I can’t really sing like that.” You reminded her. “Plus, you wrote me with my regular voice in the fic, right?”

She nodded solemnly.

“Speaking of which, I need to catch up on it.” You muttered to yourself, but when you reached for your phone, you realized that you had no pockets—and that your phone was still on your bed. You groaned in frustration.

You examined your claws for a moment, waiting for Alphys to quit being embarrassed by your (?)nudity.

“Where the hell is Sans with that stuff…” You wondered aloud.

Alphys perked up and pulled out her phone. “I’ll call Muffet.” She said.

“Right,” You said. “And while we wait, are you going to fill me in on everything?”

She nodded, still not looking at you. “Uh… f-first can I ask you a... question?”

“If it’s about last night, please no.”

She made an indignant noise. “Of course it’s not about that! It’s about your soul!”

“Can’t really take it out right now. It’s a bit buried under all this magic.”

She nodded. “But when you… go back t-to normal… can I have a look? I want to see if it changed your soul’s makeup at all?”

“Does it change monsters?”

She shrugged. “It’s… di-difficult to say. Monster souls are all the same color.”

You remembered that Sans’s soul wasn’t entirely a monster soul and you wondered how either of you would explain any of that to Alphys—especially without mentioning Gaster.

At the mention of his name, you cringed a bit.

“I… I know that’s a-a b-bit much to ask, Birdy. I mean it from a strictly sc-scientif-fic standpoint, I promise.”

You nodded. “You should ask Sans, too, though.”

Knowing him, he’d be too lazy to refuse, but it was only fair, since there was no telling if it would bring his… _condition_ to light.

“R-right! I’ll ask him!”

“Okay, now that that’s out of the way, hit me with the latest gossip.”

She faltered, staring at you as if to ask if you were okay.

“Tell me what I’ve missed.” You amended, deadpan.

She straightened up and put her hands down, finally meeting your eyes. “T-Toriel found Asgore in the throne room, laying on the throne. He doesn’t remember anything from the past twenty years or so. I have no idea what happened to his memory—but my hypothesis is that it’s because of the length of time between death and revival.”

She paused thoughtfully. She began walking around while she spoke. You were glad that when she was so deep in thought, she didn’t stammer so much. “I fashioned a pot that has a f-field in it that he can’t dig through. Without someone physically pulling him out or the pot breaking, he’s stuck there. I have him downstairs in the chamber he woke up in.”

“What about Toriel?”

“She visited him this morning. Brought him pie and gave him a kiss on top of his head. After she left, he started crying.” She was picking at her claws nervously. “Flowey told me that he didn’t have emotions… but Asgore seems to have them still.” She looked up at you. “Any ideas on why?”

You shrugged. “When Sans finally gets back, maybe we can figure out the state of his soul. I’ll do my best to heal him if I can. We’ll just… play it by ear, take it one—”

“One day at a time.” She took a deep breath and forced herself to quit picking at her claws. “One… day at a time.” She repeated.

You grinned at her. There was something warming about the knowledge that your words had been helping her.

“So… I need to figure out what to sing to him. Any idea what he’d like?”

She shook her head. “He’s… different than I remember.”

“How so?”

She was quiet for a moment, rubbing her hands together nervously. Her eyes studied the ground, and you were concerned for her. Quietly, she replied. “He’s… harsher.”

You pondered that for a moment. That was certainly food for thought.

Sans came back holding your phone but otherwise empty-handed. “where’d you even leave it?” He asked in frustration.

“Don’t worry about it right now. Muffet’s on her way, and it’s not like… there’s anything _visible_ per say. Hell, I could just wrap a bath towel around my waist or something.”

Alphys shook her head. “Your tail will make it fall off.”

You looked at the appendage in question and sighed in aggravation. “So I can’t wear regular shirts, and…”

Alphys nodded, a funny look on her face. “I’m kinda g-glad I don’t have wings…”

You grumbled. “Look, we need to figure out what we’re doing. As cool as new clothes sound, we’ve put this off for longer than we should have. We brought him back, so it’s our duty to try to help him regain his former self.

Sans grumbled under his breath, and you cast a dark look in his direction. Alphys ignored him and nodded to your words.

“R-right! You’re right. Let’s go… let’s go then.” Even so, she hesitated. “Uh… Undyne is down there, too. In case he… doesn’t take kindly to you.”

You stiffened. “Has he attacked anyone so far?”

“No.”

“Can you tell I’m human?”

She paused. “N-not without already knowing, I guess…”

“better safe than sorry.” Sans said darkly, moving past the two of you and heading into the darkness of the lab below.

Alphys floundered for a moment before rushing up the escalator to her belongings, coming back shortly thereafter with a rather large lab coat. She held a pair of scissors, as well, and she sliced the back of the coat open to allow your wings. You shrugged it on while Sans and Alphys fiddled with the fabric around your wing sockets.

“W-well, you look slightly more pr-professional.” She muttered.

“Works for me.” You replied and the three of you descended into the lower lab. The others acted as your balance, as you had forgotten how to move properly in this form. “I’ll have to do this more often. Feels so weird…”

Undyne rushed at you from up ahead. “PUNK COME HERE!” She grabbed you around the waist and hefted you. You thought for sure that this was how you would die. Suplexed to death by Undyne.

There were certainly worse ways to die.

When you didn’t hit the ground you realized Undyne was hugging you tightly, disallowing further breathing. “What’s going on?” You sqeaked.

“I’M JUST SO HAPPY!” She cried out, and dropped you onto your feet. Sans helped you keep your footing as you wavered and refilled your lungs.

You were still confused. “It was your idea, right? That’s what everyone says. And—and you might be able to help him like you helped the amalgamates. And maybe he’ll remember us again!” Her uncovered eye bore into you.

“I’ll do my best, Undyne… But this is completely new territory for everyone involved.”

“we can’t make any promises.” Sans added.

She nodded, trying to hide the crestfallen expression.

The four of you continued to a chamber that had (very) recently been remodeled and reinforced. Alphys grabbed Sans’s arm and tugged gently as you proceeded into the well-lit room, Undyne at your heels.

“what?” Sans glared at Alphys and tried to wrench out of her grip. “that shit ain’t happening. i’m going in there!”

“Sans. We need to talk about something.” Her tone made him freeze. “He kept mentioning the previous royal scientist, and my… my head is killing me.”

“fuck. just… gotta try not to let him talk about that.”

“Were you the last scientist?” She asked, eyes hard.

Sans stood there tense for a moment before letting out a hiss of laughter. “course not. i’m too lazy for that life. nothing would get done—especially the creation of the _core_ —hell, alphys, you should know better than that.”

Her grip loosened.

“why, though?”

“Asgore said something about… not trusting monsters who look enough like humans to fall for one.”

“uhhhhhh that’s a bit cryptic, don’t you think?” _fuck, play this off somehow._

“You won’t tell me anything, will you?” She asked.

“nothing you need to know, al. trust me.” _don’t ask anything else about it. please don’t ask._

She nodded. “There… w-was something else I n-needed to ask you about.”

The return of her stammering made him feel even more anxious. “yeah?”

“So um! You and B-Birdy finally b-b-bonded and I-I just-for-the-sake-of-science-wanted-to-study-what-effect-it-had-on-them-please-don’t-hate-me!”

 _welcome change in subject_. He shrugged nonchalantly. “if they’re up for it, i’m actually kinda curious, too.” He said, and then moved for the door to follow you in.

Alphys grabbed him again.

“dammit alphys, what the hell?”

“I d-don’t… think it’s wise to let Asgore see you.” She said. “I… uh… can feel your bond, kind of? You… feel m-more like a human.”

Sans tried with all his might not to blanch. _fuck, that was not supposed to happen._

“Don’t worry, though!” She said quickly, tugging him away from the door. “We can watch what goes on from this other room!”

Once in the room, Sans looked around and chuckled nervously. “one way mirrors… recording devices… all for science, huh? not just some kinky fantasy you got going on with undyne?”

She squeaked but couldn’t bring herself to disagree with his joke.

 

* * *

 

You stepped into the room, Undyne right on your heels. Asgore’s pot sat on the table, a plate next to him, still bearing half a slice of what you could only assume was snail pie. The flower turned to face you, face somber—even blank.

He looked at you and an expression of shock and then terror crossed his face. “Torb?!”

“What?”

“You… I apologize… You look much like a very old friend of mine…” His expression turned to confusion. “But dragons have been dead for centuries. Surely that hasn’t changed, too?”

“Uhhh…?” Your mind reeled. No one had told you anything about that—but it made a bit of sense, you supposed. Recalling when you’d first stumbled into Grillby’s bar that evening after assuming the form for the first time, had he not turned a brilliant shade of eye-scorching white?

“…foreign species.”

“What?”

“You must be one of the foreign species of dragons.” He remarked thoughtfully.

After a beat, you floundered to respond. “Yeah, let’s go with that!”

He eyed you suspiciously. “Where’d you come from then? And why did I never see you before?”

Undyne came out from behind you. “HEY, LET’S DO THIS LATER—heal him.” She prodded you with her elbow.

Asgore’s eyes narrowed at you, and to avoid the scathing nervousness, you hastily explained. “My magic is unique to me in that I can heal by performing.”

He cocked an eyebrow at you. You didn’t question how he had eyebrows—after all, you’d grown used to such oddities in the past six months or so. “Is that so? What are you going to do?”

“I’m going to sing for you. Do you… know any music?” You realized that, since he didn’t remember anything from the past twenty years, he almost certainly wouldn’t be familiar with a great deal of your repertoire. Your mind reeled, searching for older songs that you could put a lot of energy into.

“I’m afraid not. I’ll trust your judgement. Shale, was it?” He said, settling down. He sighed and darted a glance at Undyne. You could feel the tension in the air. He didn’t trust anyone—you could tell. But, you regarded him sympathetically, if you had been in his place, you certainly wouldn’t either.

“I’ll do my best.” You said, and Undyne leaned into the corner of the room furthest from the two of you, crossing her arms and looking casual and disinterested, but you could feel both her wariness and her displeasure. You knew that his attitude must really impact her. You could only imagine how different he was in this shape.

You sought out a song in your mind that would be sure to affect him… and you remembered you didn’t have your speaker on you. You turned to Undyne. “Wait, what about accompaniment?” You asked.

She nodded to the ceiling. “Speakers installed above. Just for you.”

You grinned at her and turned back to Asgore. You nodded politely. “Your Highness.”

He seemed slightly amused by this and nodded back.

You took a breath and focused your magic into the ceiling speakers. You gave an appreciative hum to the seeming surround sound. Hell, could you pay Alphys to do this set up at your house? The [song ](https://youtu.be/JB_fNVOPzyM)had begun and you let the noise consume you pleasantly.

“Know me broken by my master… Teach thee on child of love hereafter. Into the flood again… Same old trip it was back then. So I made a big mistake… Try to see it once my way!”

You stared at the king as you sung, focusing the raw emotion into intent and sent it at him, weaving it around him. He was receptive to the magic, for that you were thankful. But something was awry. Just like when you’d tried to help Gaster, you realized something. Asgore’s soul was shattered, fragmented, barely contained in his form. He was unstable in a multitude of ways.

Focusing harder on him, you continued the song. “Drifting body it’s sole desertion… Flying not yet quite the notion… Into the flood again. Same old trip it was back then… So I made a big mistake… Try to see it once my way!”

You tried to coax the fragments together, and when that didn’t work, you tried harder. You were trying to mash it together, so your healing could take effect.

But it refused.

You were bewildered, but thought that perhaps more effort would work. More magic. More Hope.

“Into the flood again. Same old trip it was back then. So I made a big mistake… Try to see it once my way! Ahh—Am I wrong? Have I run too far to get home? Have I gone and left you here alone?”

He wasn’t responding to the magic, but you could see something in his eyes. You tried even harder, focusing as much as you could into the final snarl of the song.

“Am I wrong? Have I run too far to get home, yeah… Have I gone and left you here alone? If… I … Would… Could… You?”

It was almost as if your magic had never touched him, but you couldn’t sense it anymore—so he must have received it in some way. Was he injured somehow?

You looked over at Undyne. “Did it do anything?” She asked, and then turned her attention to the kingly plant. “Do you remember me or Alphys… hell, anyone?”

He shook his head. “I’m afraid not… though I feel a bit calmer, for some reason.” His gaze softened. “It’s quite odd. The friend of mine who you resemble so closely… he had the most atrocious singing voice. It’s quite off-putting to hear such a lovely voice from a dragon.”

You blushed and bowed at the waist slightly. “I appreciate the compliment, your Highness.”

“Please, call me Asgore. Might I ask for another song?”

You glanced at Undyne, and she nodded vehemently. You certainly had time, didn’t you?

 

* * *

 

Sans and Alphys were looking at the data, both of them extrapolating and trying in vain to understand why Asgore wasn’t healing.

Song after song, the waves of energy washing over Asgore relentlessly—but to no avail. Every time it looked like his soul would heal. There was no reason for it to stay broken…

But it refused.

“Sans… d-do you think he was t-too far gone? Maybe the Determination is all that’s keeping him alive? Oh, god… if that’s what it is, what if he runs out? Will he just… dust all over again?”

“we were aware this would be a possibility, al. that’s why we didn’t tell anyone else about this.”

“But it’s j-just not _fair_!” She cried angrily. “It’s not fair to Toriel, and it’s not fair to him!” She pointed at the flower that was now nodding along with the [song ](https://youtu.be/Ulv3lRpo9eE)you were singing.

“it was worth a try, al, but we have to be adults about this. we can try as hard as we want but some things just aren’t meant to happen. we fucked around with fate, with no way to know if it was really the right thing to do.”

“Don’t give me that bullshit!” She cried out, scales turning orange with rage. “I know for a fact you don’t believe in fate! I get it, you’ve always hated Asgore, stars know why, but can you put that aside for five minutes to see what effect this will have on everyone else?”

“what’s the point? my looking at the situation any differently isn’t going to change the fact that we’re doing the best we can. should we have said no to reviving him? maybe. can we change that now? no. no we fucking can’t. so we gotta just roll with it and live with our mistakes.”

She flinched.

“yeah, see? you know i’m right. asgore’s alive now. if he dies again, it’ll be with the knowledge that toriel forgave him and that the underground is just peachy without him.”

She growled and pushed him away—or tried to. Not only was she physically weak, but he had gravity on his side. “It’s _not_ just p-p….p….” Her scales faded back to yellow and her eyes filled with tears. Her voice small, she sank back against the wall. “It’s _not_ just peachy.”

 

* * *

 

You were making some headway—if not on his soul, on the general instability therein. His speech was less rough, his gaze softer, his appearance and mannerisms less ragged and malicious.

It helped that not knowing the songs didn’t impede his enjoyment of them. He was a very satisfying audience—especially when he began to smile. Still, that smile would fade slightly when you’d quit singing. It made you wonder if perhaps the music helped or if he was merely faking this entire time to make you feel better. Or to convince you that he’d be fine. You weren’t sure, and you were wary of him. Perhaps even more so than Sans was.

You could feel his disdain, after all. You could feel his emotions like a rearing wall. Anger, betrayal… and after a few songs, you turned to Undyne and asked if you could talk to Asgore alone. She nodded and left too quickly and without argument—and you realized that the only explanation for that would be she could still keep an eye on you somehow. You looked around, but didn’t notice anything abnormal about the room.

Curiously enough, you could feel Sans was close, so you assumed he was just the next room over—and knowing him… _They’re watching me through the wall, somehow. Probably listening, too._ You realized with a wry expression marring your face.

“Yes, Shale?” Asgore brought you out of your thoughts, giving you a slight smile that you realized was to reassure you.

“I… wanted to ask you a bit. See… I’ve been down here ever since I can remember and I’m not sure I understand some of the stuff going on. If you can answer some questions I have, I might be able to help you better.”

He looked thoughtful and you prayed that no one was listening too hard. You had a feeling this conversation would be delving into the Gaster-y territory.

“If you believe it will help, yes. I… would like to understand what I’ve missed. Large-Umiyo has been trying to tell me things, but I forget them almost instantly. It’s quite frustrating.”

 _Large-Umiyo?_ You assumed he meant Undyne. “Well, then let’s help each other, then. I might not be able to help you with your memory right yet, but… the first step we need to take is to figure out why your soul is refusing to heal.”

He looked confused. “I’m still unsure why my soul is in the state it’s in. I can’t even manifest it.”

“Probably for the best. It’s fragmented. Decimated.”

“How do I consist then?”

You shrugged. “We’ll figure that out next. In the meantime, though… Do you have any idea why your soul wouldn’t heal?”

He averted his gaze and didn’t answer. That was a yes if you’d ever seen one. “Okay, I won’t press. That is your burden to bear. Just know that if you need someone in whom to confide, I’m here to help. My goal is to not just restore your soul, but eventually your body as well, if it’s possible.”

He nodded. “That would be grand. I miss…” He hesitated. “Having arms.”

Was it just you or was that certainly not what he was about to say? You wanted to pry, to figure out what it was he was really missing, but decided it wasn’t worth it at the moment. If you were going to get anywhere with him, you needed him to trust you.

“Shale, may I ask you something?”

You jolted. “Yes.”

“Have you seen Grillby? Is he… doing well?”

You shouldn’t have been surprised. Sans had told you that Grillby, Gaster and Asgore had been the triad of heroes in the War, hadn’t he? Something of the sort, yes. “He’s doing remarkably, actually.” You said. “He’s been a dear friend to me.”

Asgore didn’t look impressed. Whether he believed you or not was hard to tell. “Has he moved on?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well… after the war, he and Gaster didn’t exactly get along that well. I mean, I know they got over it and went back to being friends… but… did Grillby ever move on?”

You blinked at him. Was he implying—? “I… I guess so?” You thought for a moment. You tried to imagine Grillby fawning over the monstrocity of the Void. “As far as I know, he’s married to his work, you know?”

Asgore’s smile sank a bit. “He… always took Tori’s side. He left the guard, moved out to Snowdin…” He looked conflicted. “Then that mess with the human happened. Turned Gaster against me.”

You looked in the general direction of Sans, whose presence you could still feel. You took a deep breath. “I need to tell you something. I hope you can remember it for later.” You said softly, moving closer to the flower. “If there’s another name you can use for that person… use it. Even if you have to make one up.”

His face clenched in confusion. “I suppose I can.” He muttered. “Though… it might be a bit confusing. They both changed their names ages ago. So many of us adopted new names when we gave up the stars.”

“So you can use a different name?”

He nodded solemnly. “I can’t understand why, but if it will make you feel better, I suppose I can do that.”

You learned that Gaster’s Pre-War name was apparently Winoc. It was oddly anti-climactic, you thought. You had expected something more… foreboding. Also, that Grillby had once been called Ghayth.

Asgore explored the tale for you, explaining how he and “Ghayth, that flaming bastard” (lovingingly said, mind you) had risen in the ranks under Toriel. He mentioned dragons by the names of Pyric and Torbernite—explaining that his initial confusion was due to you looking very similar to the earth dragon that he’d trusted and fought beside for over a decade.

“When I realized that Winoc had fallen for a human… I felt a bit betrayed. He’d seen the folly of such a doomed relationship before. During the war, we took in human refuggees who had been banished to our territories as a death sentence. We trained them, fed them, and when we realized what powerful allies they could be, we offered them companionship. Torbernite was the consort of one such human.”

You were enthralled by the tale. Asgore’s face became bitter. “When the mages that we’d created from those humans turned on us, it was our ultimate undoing. Torbernite’s human spearheaded the coup—but… because of Torb’s quick thinking, there were few casualties. In fact… he was the only one who died that day. We somehow managed to drive the hordes of humans off, and due to his warning, we knew who had instigated that attack, who had opened the very gates that had offered them solace.”

 _Human mages were the product of monster-human… relations?_ You stared at Asgore, waiting for his continued speech.

Asgore smiled, seemingly glad that you were a so very attentive listener. “We had no choice but to flee the Foothold. Our last safe haven. Toriel and I joined forces. The people needed to know that there was still hope. I was a respected figure, and Toriel needed someone the people knew and trusted by her side. Someone she could trust just as much. It… certainly helped that… we didn’t exactly hate each other.” He smiled softly, looking off in the distance wistfully.

“We led a brisk march to the most defensible ground we could, and we started carving into the mountain. High land, inhospitable to humans, made of stone that they… couldn’t burn.” His face clenched in anger. You had a feeling that the Foothold hadn’t been merely abandoned. “We… hadn’t anticipated that we would never emerge from that sanctuary.”

He paused and gave you a tired look.

You finally managed to speak. “So… they waited until you were holed up in the Underground and then sealed you in?”

He nodded. “Over time… we realized it wasn’t a situation that a few years would remedy. We began to make the Underground our home. We told ourselves it was okay—after all, those of us who had grown up in the Foothold had hardly noticed the sky, anyway. Were we truly missing something that we’d previously never noticed?”

He let out a humorless snort of laughter. “Winoc’s services were no longer required. His tethers to his spies were broken. He had no way to spy on the humans—and our total erasure from their world made it useless to mind. He refused to give up, though. He said that he had work yet to do, and set out to make our world better. He said that he’d find a way to get us home, and then we could continue the good fight. For our friends who were denied a future, denied their own happiness.”

He winced. “At the time, I didn’t see the point to continue the fight. Everyone… was so hopeless. It’s so deeply depressing to live in a world without sunlight, without the hope of fresh air, without the taste of rain… Veterans at first… began to fall down. Toriel and I talked… we needed to find a plan, and soon. How to… give everyone Hope.” He smiled. “We had a child.”

You saw the pride in his eyes—and then you remembered Toriel’s words. That she’d had two children—and that they’d both died the same day.

“The Underground thrived on the promise of new life. The realization that life could still go on without the sun, the moon, the stars. There was an influx of births, of love. We were happy. And when the first human fell into our Underground, we accepted the child with open arms. They became like a close sibling to our son… and Tori and I saw no difference between the two. I was…r eady to put the past behind me. Perhaps one day, we could live on the surface in peace. I wanted to believe in that possibility. For my son. For both of my children.”

You felt your eyes sting. He continued. “Ghayth was distant, but supportive. He always was. Winoc… was… Winoc. He didn’t care one way or another, so deep in his work, in his studies. I knew he didn’t trust Chara, but he never antagonized me.” He cringed. “It makes me regret, the slightest bit… how I treated him.

“The children were rather young when it happened. Chara fell down, and… upon their death, our son, Asriel, took their soul. Tori and I had no idea…” His voice broke, and you wanted to reach out, but had no idea how to comfort the drooping flower. “Asriel came back, and before our eyes…”

He didn’t need to continue. Not that he could. After a moment, Asgore reined in his emotions and spoke again, tone tight. “I grew cold to the reality that humans would never change. Chara had expressed to me once… just how disgusting humans were, even to their own. It was nothing new, yes… but… It was the last strand of my resolve that snapped. I declared war upon humans once again.

“What was I supposed to do?” He asked. “I declared that human souls were to be brought to me. That we would break the barrier upon the seventh human soul—and I would harness their powers to be the harbinger of human destruction. I would show them…” His face distorted in a way that was familiar. “I would show them the weight of their cruelty folded infinitely upon itself.”

He laughed humorlessly again, face distorting again. “What was… I supposed to do?”

He looked down and went quiet. At last, his voice rang out again. “The second human to fall… I killed them.” He paused, then louder. “The third… I killed them.”

He looked up at you. His voice was firm. “I don’t blame Toriel for leaving me. For hating me. I felt… monstrous. I still do. But… what was I supposed to do?”

He looked down again and softly. “I’m sorry, Shale. But I must rest now.” He turned back to the half-eaten slice of pie. He paused before looking back at you. “Thank you for listening to an old man’s sins.”

You gave him what you hoped was a reassuring smile. “Anytime, Asgore. I’ll be back tomorrow, okay?”

He nodded and turned away again. You let yourself out, finding Alphys and Undyne sitting against the wall. Alphys appeared to have one hell of a headache.

“Sorry, I was hoping you wouldn’t hear any of that.” You said.

She nodded. “I didn’t h-hear much. I think. I… I don’t know.” She whimpered into her hands. “D-did you help him?”

“I’m not sure.” You answered. “Only time will tell.”

Sans emerged from the adjacent room. He immediately clutched your hand tightly.

You prodded Alphys gently. “Let’s go upstairs. We’ll do that thing and you can take some notes. If you want, I can sing for you, maybe make you not hurt as much.” You offered.

She shook her head. “You… you’re weakened. Sans said you put too much into that. I don’t w-want you to hurt yourself for me.”

You glared at Sans. “I’m fine. I can afford to help a tiny headache.”

She shook her head and winced at the pain. However, she did get up, and you tried your hand at focusing your magic without vocalizing. You couldn’t get the hang of it well enough… but you could sense her pain somehow. You could _see_ it like an overlay over her soul—wait… you could _see_ her soul!

“Alphys.” You reached out and grabbed her shoulder. “I can see your soul.”

She looked at you oddly, and you looked at Sans excitedly. His sockets were hollow. Alphys grabbed one of your arms, and one of Sans’s in the other hand and tugged you both in the direction of upper lab. So distracted she was that she didn’t notice you humming and alleviating some of her pains.

 

* * *

 

Sans stared at your back as you began unraveling the disguise. He was having second thoughts about Alphys studying your soul—but it was too late now.

He tried not to let on that he was troubled, but you were obviously nervous, too, asking him to stand next to you as Alphys coaxed your soul out to view. It indeed looked tired. Washed out russet hues that he wanted to massage into vibrancy again.

He wanted to hear you sing again. He wanted too many things. Most of all, he wanted a promise that you’d be okay.

“Birdy, can you try to manifest the sword from before, on your own? Use both your magic and Sans’s.” She pointed to a particularly washed out area of the soul that looked closer to purple with a silvery tint to it.

You nodded and tried to focus. He watched your efforts, and felt the presence of his magic coming from you. It would have been a strange and frightening sensation if it was anyone else.

You fumbled the magic once or twice, the formless magic fizzling in your hands.

Even without succeeding in the summoning, you were very obviously using his magic—as your left eye was blazing blue, sending a chill down his spine. On the same side of your face, the skin of your face became less… human.

He only just avoided cursing aloud from shock. He knew, yes, that bonded lovers shared things, but… this was ridiculous. He knew it was merely cosmetic, but it was something frightening to see your face change before his eyes. Even more so to think of how much you would change if the bond deepened even further.

Alphys wasn’t breathing, staring at you in such absolute unblinking astonishment—and was that fear?—as you struggled still to utilize both of your magics to make the sword.

Sans reached out for your hand. “you can stop. we see.” He said softly.

“See what?” You asked innocently, then took in Alphys’s state. “What? Did I kill a kitten or something? What’s wrong?”

Alphys didn’t have any mirrors. As you relinquished his magic, your face returned to its natural orientation and Sans sighed.

Alphys stared at Sans now. You did as well. “What did I miss, Sans?” You asked.

“you… uh…” How could he even begin to explain it? Even further, without either freaking you out or making you do it again so you could go frighten Undyne with it (or attempt to).

You shook your head. “I’ll do it later at home. Your turn.” You said as if you knew that explanations were fruitless.

Sans withered at the implication, but Alphys passed your soul back to you and politely glanced away from the two of you. “Uh…. Um, you don’t have to take your soul out, Sans. B-but try to use B-Birdy’s magic so we can see if you… do something like that.”

He didn’t like that idea any more, but decided arguing wouldn’t help. He focused on your influence, feeling that which was entirely _you_ , where it mingled with him. It felt vaguely like that moment you’d kissed his soul, and the bliss of that memory made it easy to focus on your magic.

Nothing happened for a moment and then he remembered that you only ever seemed to channel your energy through song. He didn’t feel like putting effort into it, though.

Regardless, he thought of something he liked and hummed along to it in his head. He had no target for the energy, so he sent it at you—god knew you needed it.

“Why aren’t you… getting skin or something?” Alphys asked.

Sans shrugged and you pointed at him. “Take the coat off.”

He glared at you. “i’m not wearing a shirt.”

“Take it off.” You repeated firmly as Alphys blushed.

He grudgingly followed your directions and you let out a startled whimper when you caught sight of something. Sans looked down at himself curiously and gasped sharply.

Ridges stood out over his bones. You reached out tentatively and touched them.

“what the hell?”

You grabbed his right hand and turned it to where his palm was facing up. you put your right hand next to his. A circular scar stood out on your skin—and after a moment, he saw a matching mark on his bone. “oh… _fuck_.” He whispered. “heh… i… didn’t expect that.”

Alphys stared at the two of you incredulously. She blushed and cleared her throat. “I… I think that’s uh… enough research. I’m going to… go now.”

“Don’t forget to write everything down.” You reminded her gently. “And get some good rest.”

She nodded. “See you t-tomorrow. Muffet said she’ll be by then, so… c-come in early for f-fitting.”

Sans let go of your magic, and was surprised at the briefest moment of euphoria that left with it. You clutched his hand. “Hey… let’s go home. I’m tired.”

He smiled at you, and reached out to touch the side of your face that had just minutes ago…

It was still you, either way. And he couldn’t lie… beyond the initial shock…

Well, in his meager opinion, you pulled it off much better than he did.

 

* * *

 

Alphys and Undyne had gone to bed, and Asgore tested the boundaries of the pot for the umpteenth time.

A noise brought his attention up to the ventilation tubes. A familiar rustle of vines—and an even more familiar face, as it resembled his own.

Was there a second one of him?

“Hey!” He called out, and the invader smiled.

“Howdy. I’m Flowey. Flowey the flower.” The flower’s eyes turned a vivid color that made Asgore want to retch, though he couldn’t imagine why. “Let’s have a talk, pass the time.”

Who could Asgore trust?

And which one of them was it that felt the sudden surge of DETERMINATION?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh, what the fuck is going on now?
> 
> So, hey, tell me in the comments what you think? About Asgore, about Flowey-- about Shale's and Sans's "Side Effects". Just, like... tell me your reactions, because that's what I kind of thrive off of currently.  
> You guys have legitimately been awesome, by the way. It's been a really tough couple of weeks, and your comments and overall love has just been so sweet and motivating.
> 
> Also, the picture featured in this chapter is not mine. Here's a link to the original: http://orig14.deviantart.net/fccb/f/2016/179/f/8/aaaaaaaa_1__by_ravenzaphara-da7xdsr.jpg
> 
> (i can't find the source, so if you know, please tell me! I'd love to credit the original). I merely did some tweaking to fit what i needed from it, you know? I didn't have time to sketch it out, though i wish i did... Oh well.
> 
> As for other links, here's where you can find Papyrus Fucks the Toaster: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7216135
> 
> Have a lovely day, guys, and thanks for sticking with me. It will only get wilder from here. (Is that a promise or a threat? Yes)


	32. Let Us Speak In Hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papyrus, please go back to being a cinnamon roll with not a care in the world. You're hurting my heart, sweetie.
> 
> ....and stuff.
> 
> (Sans, quit talking to your father like that!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, if you need some fluff and fun to balance out the last and this chapter full of ANGST AND PLOT, please hop over to my latest escapade.  
> It's what would happen in Underswap, considering that Blue would have raised the boys rather than just leave them in the tubes throughout development.
> 
> And just so you know, Blue is simultaneously the Best and Worst dad ever. Also, three cheers for Fire Uncle and Drunk Spider Aunt.
> 
> Check it out here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/7335931/chapters/16663513

Papyrus was glad that you and Sans had come home for the evening. He’d begun to miss the three of you just hanging out and playing that game together. Papyrus also felt a bit of satisfaction seeing you and Sans next to each other without all that sickening tension choking the air like the pungent smell of ketchup.

Speaking of ketchup, Papyrus made a note to grab some while he was at the store. He passed up the display of Fuckering Lights and continued on, grabbing a bit of this and that. You had mentioned a recipe you’d wanted to teach him, and he studied the list you gave him carefully.

What had you called this again? Gah, he couldn’t remember. He’d ask when he got home.

He felt like he was being watched—and usually, that feeling meant—

He set the shopping basket down on top of the top shelf, tucked the list into his battle body, and left the store quietly. Uncharacteristically so, even.

Behind the store, Papyrus noticed the small, happy flower staring up at him. Papyrus crouched, and kept his voice quiet so as not to alert any others.

“Hello, my fine-petalled friend!”

Flowey’s grin shifted a bit. That was new, Papyrus thought. The flower spoke then. “Papyrus, I’m so glad to see you.” His grin widened a bit. Why did that make Papyrus uncomfortable? It was like there was a tickling to his memory. “I have some _splendid_ news for you!”

“Oh. Wowie, that’s great…” But he was nervous.

Flowey dropped the smile. “I need you to go with me somewhere. Don’t worry, it’ll be fine.”

Papyrus’s focus was on the flower. “What’s going on?”

“I can’t tell you that. But I can show you.” The flower’s expression tugged at something deep-rooted in Papyrus’s soul. “I think you’re the only one who can do this.” There was something in that tone that was at odds with the feeling Papyrus felt.

“Lead the way, but do let’s hurry. I have groceries to get!”

 

* * *

 

You’d forgotten how comfortable the skelebros’ couch was. You let out a blissful sigh as you stretched, accidentally smacking Sans in the face. You both chuckled sleepily. Had you both fallen asleep on the couch? Agh, if the aches were any indication, yes. Yes, you had.

You looked around. “Where’s Paps?”

Sans groaned as he stretched uselessly. He’d been doing that more since the two of you bonded, you noted. A shared habit? “probably out at this ungodly hour.”

You saw your phone flashing and picked it up. Flicking through the messages, you paraphrased to Sans the gist of what was going on. “Apparently, Undyne and Alphys are out with Toriel, looking at wedding venues and stuff. Looks like it’s gonna be soon. Oh, and apparently they’re going to be having their parties soon. Oooh, that’s gonna be fun.”

“what?”

“Dude, so… I wrote up a bunch of notes for Alphys and Undyne about what I remembered about human traditions.”

“when did you do that?”

You shrugged. “Like… yesterday? Or the day before? When I should have been sleeping?” You shook your head. “Anyway, so now they both want parties. Alphys is going to have her bachelorette party with Muffet, Toriel, Bratty, Catty, and a few others I’m not too familiar with. Mettaton and Blooky will probably stop by, too.”

“kay… that sounds…”

“That’s not all. So… Undyne’s bachelor party. We’re both invited, so is Paps. She said she wants to keep it pretty low-key, you know? Just… probably we’re all gonna get drunk and watch anime together.”

Sans was silent for a moment. “i’m not sure i like that idea.”

“What’s the worst that could happen, Sans?” You prompted rhetorically. “So anyway…” You looked through the last messages. “Yeah, tonight, I’ll need to visit them and set up a set list for the performance, and we’ll need to do last minute fittings…”

“this is way too much work.” He complained.

“Yeah, well, get over it. Won’t be the last wedding you attend, probably. I mean, there’s Paps.” You pointed out, expressly to see him get upset. “Just imagine Paps getting married to Mettaton.”

His pinpricks were absent. _not happening._ “over my dust.” He grumbled and you gave a snort.

“Wow, that phrase sounds so weird in monster context.”

He decided not to ask.

Instead, Sans’s phone began to buzz, and when he looked at it, he flipped it closed and tossed it against the wall.

You flinched. “Uh…. Okay?”

“dad.” He answered.

You shuddered. “What did he want?”

“he wants to talk again. said to bring you, too.” He said, fingers clenching into fists. You ran your fingers through your hair and felt a raw spot on the back of your head where your neck met your hairline. Had you been scratching yourself just now?

“Well…” You shrugged, but your stomach was a knot. “What’s… the worst that could happen?”

 

* * *

 

You stood as strongly as you could behind Sans as he glared up into Gaster’s Void-filled eyes.

 ** ~~You literally did the exact opposite of what I advised.~~** He said tiredly.

You gasped behind him. “I can understand you now!”

Gaster nodded. ~~**I was prepared for this. It is how it always is.**~~ After a moment, Sans realized Gaster was smiling—approvingly?!—down at him. ~~ **I can’t bring myself to be angry at you for this. I am proud, actually… that you are always so true to yourself. You have Blue’s Integrity.**~~

His gaze shifted over Sans’s shoulder to bore into you. ~~**However. I dread the day that will come all-too soon. Your human will die. You will be left in the same dead-inside eternal struggle that is living without your bond-mate.**~~

What was it about this heavy, pressurized place that made you speak unbidden? “That won’t happen that way!”

Both monsters turned to look at you inquisitively. Sans especially looked shocked.

Almost bashfully, you continued. “Well… monsters can absorb human souls, right? When I die, that’s what I’d like to happen.”

They were both quiet for a long moment. Sans looked a bit shaken, obviously not expecting that, nor liking the idea of a future where that was a thing that would happen. Gaster, however, was obviously overjoyed. Or, at least, intensely fascinated. Which for him was roughly the same thing.

 ~~ **Such a lovely human!**~~ Gaster came forward, pushng Sans out of the way. ~~**Come, give me a hug.**~~

You were baffled. “Uh… Hey, that’s _really_ not necessary.”

~~**But I am essentially your father-in-law now! Give me a hug.** ~~

Sans grappled at the incorporeal figure, trying uselessly to drag him away from you. Even though he actually couldn’t touch you. The whole scenario would have been comedic if the air wasn’t pushing you in on yourself with the strength of a mack truck.

~~**fuck off, g!** ~~

Gaster whirled to face his son. ~~**I JUST WANT TO BE PART OF THE FAMILY AGAIN, THE VOID IS SO LONELY!**~~

“Wait, wait, what the fuck is going on?” You asked, voice weak from the pressure. “Last time we were here, you were an absolute ass, and now… WHAT THE FUCK, DUDE?”

Gaster looked startled, but brought himself up in posture and smiled warmly down at you. He spoke with his voice now, as if in apology. “It would appear I misjudged the tenacity of your powers. Since your last visit, I’ve found myself in a state of change I must admit I appreciate greatly. However, I must say… your powers leave a lot of questions in their wake. How were you able to heal my emotional pains?”

You cocked your head at him. “Uhh…?”

He sighed. “We’ll get to that eventually. I didn’t ask you both to come here merely so I could kinkshame my son—or you, for that matter.” He paused and looked at you solemnly. “That is what the kids call it these days, right? Kinkshaming?”

You made an indignant noise, but it was Sans who spoke up. “like you have _any_ room to talk!”

Gaster gestured into the Void dismissally. “In any case. I brought you here to bring something very important to your attentions.”

Sans was back by your side, now, and you were trying to resist looking at Gaster’s soul. You were afraid what you’d see. Worse yet, you were afraid that interacting with his soul again, in any form, would leave you that same darkened husk again.

Gaster interrupted your thoughts by dragging his hands across the surface of the Void, as if scraping away a layer of reality. ~~**Observe.** ~~ He commanded, and through this hole, the two of you stared at what appeared to be a flower climbing up onto Papyrus’s shoulder.

~~**It appears Asriel has made his move. I don’t know what his intentions are… and I’m afraid that, when it comes to him or Asgore, I can’t foresee much. What you see now is only visible because it is happening or has recently happened. It is set in stone for now.** ~~

“What do you mean? You said you can’t foresee anything about them?”

Gaster slapped the screen-like hole in the Void, and it cut into a nearly blinding white space. A line drew across the screen, and it split and split upon splits upon splits. ~~**This is what I see for you, or Sans, or even Papyrus. Any individual I care to look into, this is what I see.**~~

He slapped the screen again, and it went blank again. a line faintly grey faded across the screen, each branch made the color fainter and fainter, until there was nothing. ~~**I can’t see what I don’t understand.**~~ He admitted at last. ~~**The less I can identify with the person I look into, the less I see. This is what I see of Asriel. It’s actually more than it used to be, surprisingly.**~~

He smacked the screen again, a bit harsher. ~~**This is Asgore.**~~

It was a blank, white screen. ~~**I won’t let go of my rage until I punish him for what he did. I cannot understand him. I refuse to.**~~

The screen evaporated as if it had never been there, and Gaster looked to the two of you, a smile spreading across his face once more. ~~**Now, dearest human… There are many things about you I didn’t understand until just a few moments ago. I must say that I am intrigued. But that is for another time.**~~

“We need to figure out what’s going on with Papyrus and Flowey.” You said.

Gaster shook his head. ~~**Don’t worry, you will have time. There is a more pressing issue.**~~

You wracked your brain but were still too worried about Papyrus.

 ~~ **Had you a question about Asgore’s condition?**~~ The glint in his darkly glinting sockets made you move closer to Sans a bit.

You sighed. “Yeah, actually. Are you offering information?”

Gaster’s gaze darted to Sans for a moment. You weren’t the only one who was anxious.

~~**Perhaps… it would be better—quicker—to show you. I’d advise you both to sleep in the ruins. I can’t promise that this will be pleasant.** ~~

You were about to protest, but the air shifted, almost audibly, and the darkness caved in on itself. Gaster was gone and the room was almost too bright to bear for a moment. Greyscaled walls that were too close but too far.

The abrupt change in your perception was too much. You bent over to dry heave. Sans rubbed your back comfortingly.

You’d worry about this later. Papyrus was in danger.

 

* * *

 

Flowey directed Papyrus unerringly into the bowels of the lab. “Wowie… Flowey… Alphys always asked me to not come down here.”

“Didn’t you ever wonder why?”

“Of course I did! But Alphys is a dear friend. She would never—” Papyrus’s breath froze as he stared at the other flower.

“Winoc?” The flower asked, voice immediately recognizable to Papyrus. Asgore’s eyes brightened. “Oh, stars! Winoc!”

Papyrus didn’t understand why that name felt so uncomfortable. Asgore’s happiness faded almost instantly. “Winoc… that’s… an odd thing to wear, even for you. Also… did you break the bond somehow? Where are the scars? Did… did you forgive me at last? What is going on?”

Papyrus backed up, but the door he’d been led through was shut and locked from the outside. Flowey was gone.

“KING ASGORE?” Papyrus asked, leaning against the door.

Asgore’s face twisted into something unworldly for a brief moment. “No. You’re not Winoc! I can feel it! You…”

“YOUR MAJESTY, HOW ARE YOU A FLOWER? WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?”

Asgore was straining against the pot’s confines. He tried again and again to summon weapons, but only succeeded in tiring himself out.

“IT’S ME! PAPYRUS!” He tried. “I DON’T KNOW WHO WINOC IS, BUT… REMEMBER? I WAS WITH UNDYNE?”

Asgore was too weak to strain anymore, and sunk lower in the pot, scowling down at his roots.

“Are you not Asgore?” Papyrus asked, and at the sound of his true voice, Asgore twitched.

“I am.” He admitted. “Or… perhaps… I was.” He felt emotions twist around in him, trying to crush what was left of his soul, but once again it refused. “I’m not sure anymore.”

“What is wrong, your Highness?”

Asgore looked up, into the face of one of his oldest friends. “Winoc… I’m sorry.” He looked down again. “I’m so… so sorry.”

The room was quiet again, and the door behind Papyrus clicked as the lock was undone. Papyrus tried the handle, and it opened easily enough. Should he—?

Papyrus could feel, more than see, the state of Asgore’s soul. Was this why you’d come home so exhausted last night? Papyrus stared at the flower for another moment. He opened his mouth, but the words he wanted to say just didn’t exist. Not in that language, anyway. It was something Sans had said often when Papyrus was learning to speak.

“Let us speak in hands.” Papyrus said softly, sitting down on the floor in front of the pot.

The phrase struck Asgore like a brick. “How do you mean?”

Papyrus smiled. “We shall trade information. Ask me anything, and I’ll do my best to answer.”

 _Nothing like Winoc. No… More like… Zorion?_ Asgore was stumped, looking at the tall skeleton.

“Do… you know what that phrase means?”

Papyrus hesitated. “I know what it means to me.”

 _Zorion died, though. Adilet, too. So..._ He couldn't wrap his mind around this, even with effort. Gaster couldn't have...

“Does the name Gaster mean anything to you?” He asked.

Papyrus didn’t react. At all.

At last, the skeleton looked at his hands. “I don’t sleep much. When I do, I have the oddest dreams. And they must truly be dreams, because in them I’m different.” He traced a circle on his palm with a finger. “And I’m angry, but I don’t know at who. And there’s a machine, with two figures in it. I greet them, but their names aren’t there. And then…” His face cinches with confusion. “My brother is there. But he’s small—well, even smaller.”

_A brother?_

Papyrus continued. “There was something wrong. The figures in the machine are pushing me away, but I’m pushing past them. There’s something in there that I need to protect. Something that I failed to protect. It’s small.” He looked upset, but still didn’t look up from his hands. He had begun tracing a circle in the opposite palm, too.

_Winoc had suddenly cut palm holes, hadn’t he? Yes, I remember asking him about that._

“My brother pulled at me, and I pushed him away. I told him to escape. He refused. The two figures fled the machine and pushed him away. I told him to save Subject Two. I needed to get to that bundle in the machine. But after I stepped in, I realized there was no way out. The bundle was always out of my reach, no matter how far I went. And the moment I stopped was the moment it disappeared.”

Asgore remembered a feeling akin to that, but there was nothing on either side of it. No reaching or leaving it. Only that empty hollow of existence that he’d suffered for eternity and a second.

“It was so dark.” Papyrus said in time with Asgore’s thought of the same sentiment. “I was so afraid.”

Asgore spoke. “It was painful.”

Papyrus nodded. “The dream became easier to bear over time. I didn’t want to upset my brother. The only time I tried to tell him was… before I could speak. I learned that… anything to do with… That name made him uncomfortable.”

Papyrus did feel for Asgore’s soul then. Voice barely audible, he rasped. “Your soul is like his.” The unspoken inquiry sat in the air until it stagnated.

Asgore gathered his thoughts. “I can’t remember.”

“What is the last thing you remember?”

Asgore furrowed his brow in thought. He’d been tending the gardens, hadn’t he? It had been a few years since Gaster had locked himself away in the depths of the lab, doing stars-knew what. The few times Asgore had seen him, he’d noticed just how truly crazy Gaster was becoming. Even going so far as to cut those holes in his palms.

Asgore couldn’t acknowledge his own guilt.

He’d been there when the stories were written after all… killing a bond-mate was forbidden. The fact that Gaster resumed living at all afterward was a testament to his strength of will. But he’d known the risks of involving himself with the human. Not only could it have ruined the soul, but…

Asgore had lost too many friends to their treacherous mage lovers.

But why had he been so intent to lose that friend to his own hands, to his own rash actions, rather than to the human’s? Especially considering the human had shown quite clearly that they meant no harm.

There was a commotion, the ground shook—and then… everything went blank.

“It doesn’t make sense.” Asgore admitted.

Papyrus inclined his head. “I’ve noticed that… sometimes that’s the way things are.” Asgore looked up and made eye contact with the skeleton. “It’s difficult to face a burden you don’t know how to carry. But I believe in you, your Majesty.”

The two nodded to each other. Papyrus got up and left the room. “FLOWEY, I DON’T KNOW WHAT IT IS YOU HOPED I WOULD ACCOMPLISH… BUT I BELIEVE I DID WELL?” He said as he retraced his steps.

The flower in the ventiliation tube only smiled. _You certainly did._

 

* * *

 

You and Sans found Papyrus walking back to Snowdin. He appeared to be deep in thought. You asked him what had happened, where he had gone. Papyrus glanced at Sans and then at you. “JUST WELCOMING A NEW MEMBER TO OUR CLUB, HUMAN! NO NEED TO PRESS ME FOR INFORMATION! I MUST GO RESUME SHOPPING FOR GROCERIES TO MAKE THAT LOVELY DISH—ER… WHATEVER IT WAS.”

Before you could remind him that the dish was called a cobbler, he was off again. Walking much faster, now.

“makin my way downtown.” Sans sang softly. If you hadn’t been worried, that would have made you laugh.

“Aren’t you upset at all?” You asked.

“no.” He answered, and when you glared at him, he pointed at Papyrus. “he’ll tell one of us eventually. probably you, if it’s to do with that little club.” He sighed. “alright, so… let’s figure out where the little smiling shit would want to take papyrus that’s in that direction.”

“The lab.” You said immediately, and Sans nodded. “Do you think…?”

“we need to go check.” He said, and the two of you took a shortcut to the lab, scaring the hell out of Alphys and Undyne, who had just arrived back.

“Wow! I was just about to text you.” Undyne said.

You and Sans exchanged uneasy glances. Should you tell anyone?

You smiled at Undyne warmly. She helped Alphys stack heavy-looking boxes in a corner of the room. While they were busy, Sans leaned in to kiss your cheek and whispered into your ear. “there’re cameras there.”

You gave him a loving look, and Alphys spared the two of you a very satisfied glance.

They were none the wiser.

You and Sans helped them, got news about the venue, and then Alphys urged you to practice your set list for her. It seemed like hours until you’d been exhausted of useful knowledge about human weddings.

Undyne had excitedly talked about the plans for the bachelor party—and then you noticed it. “Oh, fuck, _when_?!”

“Tomorrow!” Undyne brayed. “Why the hell wait any longer than we have to? Tomorrow, we’re all gonna get fucking plastered!”

“And then… the next day is the wedding?” You stared at the two of them, absolutely flabbergasted.

They both nodded excitedly, casting warm looks at each other.

You shrugged. “I guess I need to work on those songs tonight, then…” You chuckled nervously. _Talk about sudden notice._

Sans politely excused himself while they were talking amongst themselves and you went to the computer to access human internet.

“S-so, B-Birdy… can I ask you a q-question?”

“Go for it.” You said as you typed in a song.

“I… wanted something kinda special… So I designed a machine. It’s… kinda like the regular chamber you’re used to… um… but instead of focusing on only the auditory memory, it… can focus on visual memory as well?”

“Wow, what?” You stared at her, mouth agape.

She blushed. “I… got the idea from this.” She pointed to a [video ](https://youtu.be/XmOZC0a4IVg)on the computer’s history. One that you immediately recognized, even.

“That’s fucking awesome, Alphys!” How had she made that in the past couple of days, especially with all the stuff with Asgore going on?!

She stammered, almost entirely red. “Ummm! Could I ask you to… perform something that reminds you of the surface? Fondly, I mean… um…” She looked a bit embarrassed. “I… wanted to see the stars during the final dance.”

Well that was too fucking precious to say no to, you decided. “Absolutely. Just let me find a song that’ll fit.”

She sat down behind you, on Undyne’s lap. The two of them watched as you picked through song after song until you settled on one. They agreed that the song was very pretty. But Alphys remarked that it didn’t sound much like a love song. Undyne laughed. “Bullshit! Alphy, did you listen at all?!”

“Uh… yes?”

“Birdy, replay that one bit.”

“Yay, specifics.” You monotoned, and rewinded to the part you guessed she was talking about.

“I'm always breathless to see, growing so slowly to greet me, where I end and where she begins. When she shines for me at night, and her skies turn green and white, she will keep us in her sights. We all lie beneath her light.”

Undyne motioned triumphantly.

“She’s talking about the moon.” Alphys said.

“So what? What if you’re that for me, huh?” Undyne said. “Mom told me once about that. The moon controlled the tides. Like, with pulling. It’s cool shit. But without the moon, there’d be no tides. Now… I don’t really get that, ‘cause… well, I’ve always been down here. But Mom told me that there was a absolute shit-ton of respect for the moon where she came from.”

You swallowed your curiosity for the moment.

“Like… she said, without the moon, there’d be no waves. And without the waves, there’d be no joy. So you’re like that for me!” She grinned triumphantly at Alphys.

You hid your smile behind your hand. Alphys stared at Undyne for a moment, expression indiscernable.

Sans chose that moment to come back, and you were relieved.

“See you tomorrow. Save some of that energy for the wedding night, guys.” You said hurriedly, going to Sans and pulling him toward the exit.

As he took the hint and you were suddenly in the ruins, you suddenly started howling with laughter, rubbing your cheeks.

“As fucking cute as that was, holy shit, I swear to Ditty they were about to just go at it, privacy be damned!” You explained.

Sans’s expression killed your mirth.

“What’s wrong?” You asked. “Did you find the tape?”

He shivered. “i found it alright. but not before that smiling shit did.”

“Did he attack you? Are you okay? What happened?”

“calm down, shale.” He sighed in defeat and scraped at the back of his head again. “he didn’t attack me physically, per say. heh.” He grinned. “i’ll take it as a complement, though. anyway… so… i got to the tapes, and turned ‘em back. but when paps went into the room with asgore, the camera got turned away, and the audio got all garbled. i couldn’t get a fucking word. and then, at the end, before everything went quiet, i heard the little shit talk.”

“What’d he say?”

Sans did his best impression of Flowey’s voice. “no harm done.”

Your face clenched from confusion. “Uh… that’s…”

“sounded like a threat to me.” He said. “like… there was an unspoken ‘yet’ in there somewhere, i fucking swear.”

The two of you sat there for a moment, taking comfort in each other’s solidity. In the comfort of having someone in whom to finally confide.

“we need to go back there. he’s cooking dinner, and he’s got something going on. we have no idea what idea that little shit put in his head. or flowey, for that matter.”

You almost cracked up at that. “Hey, Asgore doesn’t seem that bad.”

“cuz he didn’t see you’re a human. and if i have my way, he never will.”

You nodded, a wry smirk on your face. “Well, let’s go then.”

 

Dinner was decent enough. Papyrus and you made a good team, and when Sans went to his room to nap while the two of you cooked, you gently prodded him to talk about his day.

No success. He avoided all attempts at talking about it—and then Mettaton showed up out of nowhere, and there was suddenly no way to talk about it, even if Papyrus had gone into it willingly.

After dinner, you and Sans left the two alone in the house and retreated to the Ruins to lick your proverbial wounds.

“dad mentioned that he’d be telling us a story tonight.” He grumbled. “not looking forward to that.”

“Why? What’s up?”

“he speaks through dreams, remember? or, he _can_. the thing is… some of the shit he can do and show is kinda… _really_ painful.”

“Oh. Lovely.”

So with that in mind, the two of you tucked yourselves into bed together, clinging to each other as if that would save you from the probable nightmare you were both prepared to endure. With any amount of hope, perhaps you would have comfort in each other. If not during, perhaps afterward.

 

* * *

 

Linked by the hands. The two of you were holding hands. Everything was too dark. You couldn’t see each other, but the bond kept you together.

You could do this.

You could hear him, too, you realized. Well, you could _hear_ but not understand.

He sounded disdainful.

A form rose from the shadows before you. It was roughly twice the size of a football, and of similar shape—and as it got closer, you noticed it was a fuCKING DRAGON SKULL.

It cocked its head at you, the lights in its eyes studying you carefully.

“Hello… floating dragon-skull thing.” You nervously spoke. _Do I reach out for it? Will it approve of pets?_

It let out a sigh and another rose from the shadows. This one was similar, yes… but seemed sleeker, and its temperament was quite the opposite of the one that still stared at you, as if waiting for something. The second skull didn’t seem skittish so much as wary, reminding you of a warrior who has seen too much.

 ~~H u m a n~~. Where had that come from? You could barely make out the word, let alone the tone behind it.

“I don’t mean any harm…”

You felt the air pressure change, and you fought to breathe for a moment.

~~**I apologize if this setting is uncomfortable… but it’s the easiest way for me to show things quickly.** ~~

Sans spoke, sounding disapproving. You squeezed his hand in reassurance.

The two skulls floated off to take up behind Gaster as he appeared before you—looking much much different than you’d previously seen him. He smiled at you, looking so much like a thinner(?) Papyrus that it startled you. He was wearing a light-colored turtleneck and charcoal slacks under a pristine lab coat. The scars remained, as did the holes in his hands. His voice was still akin to pain to hear, too.

 ** ~~This is who I was~~.** Gaster began, gesturing at himself. ~~**This is what no one remembers. However.**~~ Another skeleton appeared next to Gaster. Younger, slightly shorter, in a long, flowing brown robe, hood down.

~~**This is also who I was. And my name is even now still on the tip of everyone’s tongues.** ~~ **Winoc.** ~~**My existence is gone, yes. Erased… but just as the core, and my… sons remain… so does the root of my being. My presence was not erased, per say. Just my likeness. Or so I’ve hypothesized. Otherwise… where did the Core come from?** ~~

Around you, a rudimentary lab rose. Gaster as you had known him was gone, leaving Winoc.

His voice as Winoc was pleasant, and you found yourself drawn closer as he spoke to you. Beneath that act of innocence, you knew, was a razor-sharp edge, poised to kill any who dared misjudge him. Papyrus really was his spitting image. In all regards, even.

“Human, oh! I apologize.” He blushed a bit, pale yellow magic dusting his cheekbones. “Shale, right? Welcome to Foothold.”

Sans sounded upset. Scared, even.

“No, we’re not on the surface. Just my memory of it. Don’t worry, Sans. No problems here. Oh! Just don’t look too closely at anyone we meet, okay? Unless it’s Ghayth or Toriel you’ll see some bad stuff. My… memories can get a bit unstable.”

“Are we safe, though?” You asked.

He nodded eagerly enough. “I’m taking pains to make this as easy as possible. If all goes well, no one will show up... It’s easier to talk about the Void when you’re not in it. I’m sure you can understand, Shale.”

His smile was at odds with his knowing eyes. You nodded. “This isn’t about me.”

He hummed thoughtfully. “I suppose so.”

Sans spoke again. Winoc nodded, smiling brightly. “Yes, very creative use of that word I like it.”

You were certain that the extra bit Sans said in response to that was definitely “fuck you!”

“I’ll get on with my point. Sans is getting pretty cranky.”

You squeezed his hand, hoping he’d calm down. The sooner he quieted the sooner Gaster would say what needed to say.

“So. what do we know about the Void?” He asked brightly. “We know that it has many incarnations, right? The physical manifestation of the Void, the presence of absence… That is where I reside. Yes, we’re aware of this, right? Good. Moving on.” He made phantom limbs from his magic, and hovering over one of the palms was a perfect replica of Asgore as he once was.

Aside from terribly drawn pictures and the assumption that he was a goat monster like Toriel, you had never once seen what he’d looked like. Winoc noticed your fascination and the figure grew larger so you could see it better.

“Before his death, Asgore could not remember me, just as everyone else. He had no reason to _have_ to remember me, despite my being integral to the war effort… and my involvement in the Underground. Well, I suppose I mostly mean that he and I didn’t bond, so there’s no residual memory there.”

He paused. “Had he been exposed to my memories in this state, it would cause him mental damage, just as with Grillby, or even Alphys. He was not exempt to this before his—er, _untimely_ death.” The smirk on his face made it obvious how he really felt, even if his sarcastic tone didn’t.

The figure in his hand turned to dust, and the swirling particles danced around between his hands. “Upon death, we all know the Void. The Void is _not_ death, but it _can_ be the absence of life. It is the utter lack of _everything_. And… each and every one of us is tethered to the Void.”

He nodded to you. “Some of us more strongly than others, of course… but…” He cleared his throat. The phantom dust in his hands coalesced into a flower. “In any case. Asgore and Asriel suffer from the same affliction. They knew the Void. They looked upon it without protection, and were punished for it.”

You raised your hand shyly. He nodded to you. You spoke. “So is that why Asriel doesn’t feel emotions? That’s what he said.”

Gaster laughed. “He felt no emotions because he allowed himself not to. When one acquires a high Level Of Violence, it becomes easy to delude oneself on such matters. And it is quite an empowering feeling, having no emotions tethering you to your morals.” Winoc looked wistfully at the door. “Empowering but costly.”

You asked another question. “So, why can’t I heal Asgore?”

Winoc looked startled and smiled sweetly back at you. How many centuries ago did Winoc die and Gaster take his place? When did this innocence fade?

“To understand the Void beyond death’s clutch is to know insanity’s breath.” He said. “He cannot be healed because he doesn’t _want_ to be healed. He’s not in his right mind. He is awaiting punishment.”

The hungry look in Winoc’s eyes was there and gone before you could comment on it.

“So what can I do?”

Winoc sighed. “I cannot see what I don’t understand. Please keep that in mind.” He looked into your eyes. “Don’t trust him. And keep trying. Have Hope—it seems to be the only true advantage you have.”

Sans asked a question. Winoc sighed. “Yes, it’s an odd ability, yes. Not the oddest of their capabilities, nor the most terrifying… but odd, all the same.” He smiled between the two of you. The lab around you was beginning to fade out as the doors creaked open. Winoc didn’t even look that way as everything faded back to black and the two draconic skulls appeared once again. At Winoc’s gesture, they moved forward to investigate you.

“What are these?” You asked.

Winoc didn’t respond for a moment. “I understand Alphys’s pain. That is all I’ll say.” He reached out and gently touched the slender skull. It made a noise that it was obvious no one else understood, save the other skull, who was still too enamored with you to reply to its counterpart.

You decided to reach out, too. The broad, rough skull made a noise you could call satisfied as you touched it.

“You won’t tell me anything else?”

“Out of time. But I enjoyed our talk so very well. It’s nice… to get out.” He said wistfully. “The Void is so very stifling, you see.”

You did, indeed.

Sans was talking. For a while. His anger had subsided, it seemed.

Winoc glanced at you. “When all is done, we will talk further about… that. I’m not sure I want to move on until I have fully been of use.” He smiled again. “I want to give you two the chance at a happy ending that we were not given. I… feel that Blue would not forgive me if I behaved otherwise.”

Winoc was fading into the darkness, and the skulls reluctantly followed.

You could actually _hear_ Sans now.

“shale? you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“wake the hell up, then.”

You chuckled, and felt his hand tug you—and you found yourself sitting upright in bed. He dropped your hand to hold you against his chest protectively. “did it scare you?”

“Nope.” You said.

“you didn’t see anything that i didn’t see, then? no weird… things?”

“Um… the dragon skulls, but that’s it. Could you hear me? I couldn’t hear you.”

“you were listening with your physical ears. gotta listen with your magic. like with grillby.” He said. “and… you mean the blasters?”

“Blasters?”

“i call ‘em gaster blasters. he doesn’t really like that, but they don’t seem to mind. the one that kept trying to get your attention was mine. other one’s pap’s.”

“What do they do?”

“they’re weapons. but… sentient.”

“Oh. So I was petting…”

“a literal deathtrap. yeah. don’t worry tho. he’s cool.”

You looked at Sans and put your head in your hands. “The longer I stay down here, the crazier everything gets. I can ‘t wait to get drunk tomorrow and forget all this shit for a while.”

“you saying you’d rather be on the surface?” Sans couldn’t help but ask.

“No. But I’d rather not have to fear for my life.” You lay back on the bed again with a huff. “And I gotta practice those songs.” You didn’t exactly sound thrilled. “I wish they’d have warned me before today.”

Sans leaned over and pressed a kiss to your jaw. “let’s catch some z’s, huh? long day tomorrow.”

 

* * *

 

Flowey looked at the River Person warily. He needed to keep an eye on them—and the puppet master behind them. In the ideal plan, Flowey would have to confront him eventually. All the sooner, if Gaster decided to impede his imminent victory.

Flowey was filled with DETERMINATION.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, guys. Just a warning. Next chapter will be fun and fluffy-- and there will be the first instance of actual smut. This will be the first time I've ever shared that kind of stuff with this many people, bear in mind. It will be skippable, but for those of you who read it, please be gentle on me, okay? So far, the people who have seen it (you know who you are) have really enjoyed it... so I'm hoping I don't outright suck at it.
> 
> Hopefully that means the next chapter will be out soon. Remember to check my tumblr for updates on this story and the others!


	33. Sans Wants the D(ragon)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings!  
> Blood/graphic imagery of the violent assortment. This was my first attempt in years at writing horror elements, so...
> 
> I would suggest using the ctrl+F function to navigate past parts that you want to skip.
> 
> Mentions of porn and dicks in general (will be marked with ***. Not entirely necessary, but it's funny, i thought).  
> Drunkenness and INTENSE drunk flirting (if this makes you uncomfortable, please tell me in the comments and I'll provide a synopsis).  
> Smut (will also be marked with ****, please take care to skip past this area if you need to. You will not miss anything vital).
> 
> During the Bachelor Party, there is a link to a playlist. Feel free to listen to it, but this is your warning: ALL OF THOSE SONGS ARE ABOUT SEX. (or at least being intimately involved with someone)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is all over the place, and more than half of it I wrote while half asleep. You might even be able to figure out what parts they were.
> 
> Shoutout to all of you guys for sticking with me. It's taken a lot of energy to stay determined, and not just about the fics. I've been suffering from depression quite heavily lately, and any time I think of doing something stupid, I remind myself I have to finish these fics...  
> I'm always glad to hear feedback, and I don't know what all else I've put out since the last chapter but... I don't know, go ahead and check.  
> Edit:  
> Mettaton's Challenge (collaboration with my gf): https://archiveofourown.org/works/7453324  
> Take Me To Church (collaboration with butnobodycame): (WARNING, IT'S STRAIGHT-UP SMUT) https://archiveofourown.org/works/7464054

The day was passing much too quickly for the amount of preparation needed for just that night. Luckily there was no shortage of help. Toriel and Muffet were bustling-- and Mettaton, to your shock, was not just helping organize everyone, but doing some heavy lifting himself. BP even showed up to give support, eventually pulling Papyrus aside to talk to him.

You weren’t sure what it was about, but BP’s ears were flattened one moment and perked the next. You had the idea that he was warning Papyrus something or another-- perhaps to watch himself with Mettaton, or, endearingly enough, warning him to not harm his friend. Either option was likely, but it wasn’t your business. Papyrus didn’t seem bothered, so neither you nor Sans thought about it.

You were dying for lunch and something caught your eye. Incredulously, you approached it. Undyne came up behind you and pointed at the appliance. “Oh, yeah! Hey, Birdy, do you happen to know what this thing is? It creates heat, so we figured it was some kind of… Alphys, what did you call it?” She looked around, but Alphys must have been busy. Undyne must have remembered anyway. “Sample heat-thing.”

You laughed. They thought it was… science equipment?

You sent a message to Sans, who eagerly left to get what you asked for. You grabbed the machine and went to the small kitchen area of the lab. Undyne followed curiously, watched as you plugged it up, wiped it off thoroughly and got plates ready.

Sans brought the ingredients and you mixed the eggs and--

“B-Birdy, what are you doing to the… sample incubator?!” Alphys had finally appeared as you were pouring the mixture into the griddle.

“It’s a damned waffle-iron, Alphys!” You cried out. The first waffle, you doused in syrup and handed to the couple. “Eat up. I know it’s a bit late in the day for breakfast, but… Hell, waffles sound good right now.” You ended up making waffles for everyone that was hungry. After all the things that monsters had never had, you never thought you would be the gateway to Waffle-y goodness.

At one point, Sans and Alphys seemed to be in a very involved conversation, and you didn’t interfere as you assumed it was just some science jargon that you weren’t interested in at the moment, otherwise, you were confident one of them would have waved you over. There were other things to attend to, like the literal ton of waffles you were making.

 

* * *

 

Alphys turned a brilliant shade and looked away. “Uh-h-h…” She looked absolutely mortified. “Um sh-shouldn’t you ask-k _them_ about that?”

He looked nervously at you as you worked. “not that simple, al. i… dunno if it’ll ever come to it, but i wanna be prepared. just in case.”

She put her head in her hands for a moment, made a strange noise in her throat. “Ohmygod, this is _soooo_ going in the fanfic!” She laughed somewhat hysterically and then gestured to her impressive shelf of dirty manga. “T-take what you want… but… um…”

“but?”

She couldn’t force the words out, though she was so dreadfully curious.

“alphys.” Sans had guessed, and by her reaction, he hit the mark perfectly. He had the grace to blush too. “not from me. i’m not taking notes. not about that.”

She nodded.

“and no cameras.” He added.

She squeaked. “O-of course not!”

He grabbed a few of the books and tossed them through a shortcut, landing them on his desk in his lab. Some light reading later on would be in order.

 

* * *

 

Just when you thought the workload would never end, Undyne pulled you, Sans, and Papyrus close into a huddle and remarked that booze was going to be provided, and that a venue was all they needed. The lab was reserved for Alphys’s party, and so…

“Um… I guess we could get wasted at my place?” You volunteered. “I don’t have that much that will get broken if anyone gets too rowdy.” Your eyes naturally fell on Undyne.

“But Birdy, you don’t have a couch!” She complained.

Sans chuckled. “our living room’s bigger, shale. more to break, but we’re closer to grillbz.”

You nodded. “Whatever works, guys.”

“We are _so_ doing this!” She cried excitedly, her grip on Papyrus’s shoulder making him squawk. “But!” She added quickly, and looked at Sans and you with a stare that got increasingly more uncomfortable as it persisted. “We should have a rule. No… uh…”

“NO PUNS?” Papyrus pleaded.

Undyne laughed. “Yes! If either of you make a pun, we take away your booze!”

You sighed and looked over at Sans. “hey that’s not fair.” He sounded legitimately upset, you realized, and tried to figure out how you could cheer him up about it. Inspiration struck.

You summoned an invisible spectral hand and tugged at his hand furthest from you. “I think you can **hand** le it.” As tempting as it was to smack his (lack of) ass again, you didn’t really feel like hurting.

They didn’t catch the pun but he did. He positively glowed when he looked up at you.

Undyne laughed. “Oh, stars, watching them get drunk is going to be priceless. I’m gonna film the whole thing!”

“To hell you will!” You cried out, face heating.

Sure, one or two drinks, you were fine. You wanted to party, to sing, to act like a fool… but after a few more and… well…

You certainly didn’t want it to be public knowledge. Let’s put it that way.

Undyne looked shaken by your vehemence and a mischievous light burned in her eye.

Tonight was looking less and less fun-- or was it the inverse?

 

* * *

 

Technically, it was not strictly necessary for Flowey to sleep. But as he stared at the door that should not exist, the silence deafening him, he decided that it wouldn’t hurt to be at his fullest potential.

He retreated to an area that had some semblance of life to it, as far from the door as he could stomach while still being close enough to access it soon after waking.

“Uneasy” didn’t begin to cover it. Despite his confidence that he could take Gaster on if it came down to it-- he’d never had the opportunity to before, and if there was one thing that didn’t simultaneously fascinate and aggravate Flowey, it was something he didn’t already know.

The Underground was _his_ world, and in his mind, he was the one who inherited it, especially with Asgore technically dead. It was _his_.

He should know everything, especially with how many years he’s spent down here, right?

 _Well, soon I actually might._ He thought, smile stretched frighteningly wide.

 

* * *

 

_White fur under a green and yellow sweater. His ears itched and his toes wiggled experimentally. It wasn’t unheard of for Asriel to emerge in his dreams. This was one of those times, and he let out a sigh of relief before it was cut short by a deafening crackle coming from all sides._

_His small, childish frame shook from the ferocious noise, and he reached instinctively for his magic-- but it didn’t respond. Absolutely helpless, Asriel looked around desperately. The darkness around him felt sticky, corrupted. And from deeper inside the emptiness, he could hear crying._

_It was a noise he was familiar with, but the voice was slightly off. But he remembered. To hear Chara’s distinctive sobs, in Frisk’s voice… it wasn’t **that** that shocked him-- it was that it was **here** , wherever “here” was._

_“Chara? Where are you? Help!” He yelled, his voice high and trembling. The sobbing stopped, but Asriel had a feeling. He could feel the tenuous bond guiding his direction. They were running away._

_At that point, Asriel had to make a decision. Would he fight his way through the odd darkness, risk ultimate corruption, and perhaps find Chara-- or should he stay here in relative (if creepy) safety?_

_The darkness around him began to shift, as if it were alive. Asriel realized that, no matter which choice he made, he wouldn’t be safe._

_And it was just a dream, wasn’t it?_

_That settled it. He sprinted headlong into the wall of physical corruption, breaking through it as if it were merely a bubble-- and he found himself looking at a place he didn’t recognize._

_There were elements of this dark hallway that reminded him of the Judgement Hall… but the floors were covered in dust. At first, Asriel assumed the place had been undisturbed for a long time, but beside a pillar was a pile of dust in plain sight._

_There were stars just visible through the windows, Asriel noted with fascination, trying hard to ignore the lump in his stomach. It wasn’t the first time he’d seen dust. He shouldn’t be scared._

_No reason to be scared._

_But from his periphery as he looked away, he thought he saw something waver where the dust was. When he looked back, there was a skeleton monster. She looked ferocious, in all honesty. All sharp edges, covered in polished leathers black as night. She wasn’t as tall as Papyrus, but her face certainly resembled his, only with much… **much** sharper teeth._

_She looked at Asriel and he noticed that her sockets were empty. That wasn’t a good thing, if past experience meant anything._

_Asriel backed up a bit, and the skeleton didn’t move._

_**What if, by looking away, I’m letting her move?** He wondered. He gave a muted whine and edged away from her, around her, keeping his eyes on her. Her head swiveled slowly to follow his progress, even to the point where her head was on backwards._

_Her ever-present grimace deepened the slightest bit, and he felt her gaze flicker to something else behind him. His immediate response was to look back for the thing that had captured her attention, half-expecting another monster._

_Nothing._

_He looked back, but the skeleton woman was gone._

_Asriel had had enough at this point. He turned and began walking as quickly as he could, his bare feet slapping against the vivid tiles, leaving tracks in the dust as he went._

_The skeleton’s voice was a hoarse, choked whisper. “Do you think I’m stupid?”_

_Asriel didn’t care if she was the personification of a bag of bricks, he wasn’t going to humor her an answer. Just as well, because he was sure, absolutely so, that she wouldn’t have heard anyway._

_He’d hoped for some semblance of familiarity past the Hall, but to his disappointment, it gave way to smaller corridors flanked by doors and arches, all of them open, all of them darkened._

_He was filled with urgency, and tried to force himself to only look ahead as he began to pick up speed down the corridors. No windows offered sparse light in here. The torches on the walls were unlit. But there was something, like the dim memory of light flickering up ahead, only to wink out when Asriel neared._

_A large clatter came from huge, open doors to Asriel’s left and he jumped in surprise, letting out a frightened bleat. In his lapse, he had looked for the source of noise, and deep in the darkness, he could see the forms of tables. A mess-hall?_

_Just beyond what he could see in the darkness he saw figures writhing against the floor. Groans, noises of being stricken… Asriel felt sick. Glowing red eyes swiveled to look at him. Five pairs. They turned their attention back to the writhing creatures on the floor and Asriel heard the clattering again._

_That was the sound of bodies being stricken with metal objects. And when the bodies gave way to dust, all that was left to hit was the marble floors._

_Asriel broke into a run again, choking on his fear that this wasn’t just a dream. This wasn’t real, he knew that. But at the same time…_

_“She wasn’t with me!” A woman’s voice said from down the hall to his left._

_“What do you mean she wasn’t with you? You had one job, Nasrin!” A man’s voice with a fluttering hint of accent answered. He sounded dry and light, a voice of power. A voice of intelligence._

_“Torbernite took her!” The first voice cried in protest. “This isn’t the time, the humans are coming!”_

_A third party spoke. “Nasrin is right, Winoc. We have to focus. At least like this we can hold them off and not worry about her safety. Torb will keep her safe.” His voice was darker and raspy like a smoker’s. “Ghayth! Go back up Torb!” Was that a hint of desperation in his voice?_

_“Sir.” Another man spoke then, and Asriel felt the hint of familiarity to the voice. It was low, smoky and confident._

_Footsteps came toward him, but there was nothing down that hallway. Only darkness. The voices were gone, but Asriel was torn. Which way did he go? Did he follow the footsteps or did he follow the voices?_ _He tried to reach for his bond with Chara, but it was harder to track by the moment. They were getting too far away._

_Behind him he could hear crazed noises of a language he’d never heard before. Those humans from the mess-hall were on their way, and he was here in the open. The time to choose was now, it didn’t matter which way he went, he just had to go!_

_But he’d made the mistake of turning around first._

_In the approaching darkness, distorted figures twisted their way down the hallway toward him. Jaws snapping, bodies shuffling as arms that were too long drug the ground. They were so grotesquely pale, that he could see their skin in the darkness. Their eyes were sunken and blood red. They were covered in dust and their grins were too wide._

_Their bodies were mangled but they still persisted, groaning and laughing as they trudged._

_“Here they come, everyone!” The raspy one said. “Stand!”_

_There was a chorus of three other voices, “Sir!” And the shuffle of weapons being summoned and readied._

_Asriel chose that direction and ran as fast as he could, hoping that whatever people were hidden in the darkness here would be able to protect him or at least stave the… **things** off until he could find a way out of here._

_But when he got closer he only saw three piles of dust and a torn brown robe._

_Asriel wasn’t sure if he should look away and risk them suddenly rising like the skeleton woman from earlier, or if he should just hurry past and hope to the stars they’d get up anyway._

_The snapping of jaws and low groans of something that was definitely not pain forced him to move on, tracking dust down the hallway as he was forced to jump over one of the piles._

_Asriel swore he could feel breath on his fur and he found himself panicking. The growling, snapping noises were so close now._

_He could feel Chara again, he realized, but survival mattered much, much more._

_Regardless, it gave him a target, and he continued. The elongated, too-thin arms were on either side of him, and wrapped closer, closing in on him. He screamed, tried to get away, but the arms swept for him, and despite his attempt to jump, to dodge, they caught his legs and he tumbled, scrambling desperately the moment he hit the ground, but another hand grabbed for his ankle and he screeched as he was tugged closer._

_It had no mouth, he realized. Just eyes and that horrid blankness. Skin whiter than his fur, thin and almost translucent over stark grey veins that spread like bare tree branches against a white sky._

_If they had no mouths, how did they make those noises? What was the snapping noise?_

_The hand clutching his ankle let out a sickening crackle and he watched as burrs emerged from the skin, spilling dust for a moment before red began to slowly bubble out like the body was boiling it out._

_Asriel’s scream was cut short by the scream of pain from the creature as it was run through with what was surely a giant claymore. The raspy voice from earlier called out, and now Asriel could see him. A red dragon-creature._

_“Go!” He demanded, pulling the claymore out of the shrieking creature as black blood poured from the gaping wound. The creature’s eyes glinted and its limbs turned in a way not humanly possible, reaching behind it for the dragon, who easily batted the hands away before attacking again, lopping off an arm._

_Asriel didn’t need another reminder as he scrambled to his feet and ran again, only avoiding looking back by assuring himself that they couldn’t reach him if he just kept looking ahead. He needed to believe he was safe, but he couldn’t convince himself. He still felt the tight grip against his skin, as if it had been seared into the flesh._

_Chara was still moving, but he was gaining on them._

_Just a bit further!_

_There was a room ahead, behind doors that looked to be three inches thick. He could feel them there. He could hear them crying._

_This was the only door he’d encountered that was closed. He threw his weight against it but it didn’t open. The world around him began to shift. Voices behind the door just evaded coherence. He could hear sounds but had no idea what was being said. Even if he would have heard the words clearly, it would have done no good. It was a language he’d never heard._

_Asriel turned away from the door, still leaning with all of his weight, trying and failing to open it while still looking for his doom. The shadows danced, yet nothing approached._

_Slowly, voices reached. Begging. Asriel recognized voices at last. These were his own memories now, coming to haunt him._

_The shadows that moved forward morphed into faces he remembered well. A blue-furred bunny crawled closer, reaching out, begging for mercy. Half of his skull was caved in, but still he lived. Asriel flattened against the door, but there was no escaping this._

~~It’s not real!~~ _The reminder fell flat, and more shadows approached now. Each of them pleading for mercy, for death. For anything to make the pain stop._

~~Azzy! Snap out of it!~~ _He beat on the door, crying out as the shadows got closer. With each strike, he grew weaker, until he was only pressed against the door, trembling as the creatures stared at him from the ground._

~~those aren’t creatures, kid.~~ _He was begging, too now. For forgiveness-- for mercy, if there was such a thing as irony-- and for help._

~~The door!~~

_The door creaked open and the figures laughed a hoarse, strange laugh. Markings traced up their forehead and down below their eye as they faded back into shadow. The hollow laughter dissipated but Asriel’s trepidation didn’t._

_He backed away from the shadows before realizing that looking ahead was more important. More vital. Chara was still weeping._

_Asriel turned around, and in the darkness there was a huddled child. Frisk, still exactly the same as he’d seen them three years ago._

_The door closed behind him, bathing the room in pitch black. “Chara?”_

~~run, kid. get out. now!~~

_Asriel stood his ground and tried again to summon his magic. He failed, but the slightest spark was in the air. It was all he needed._

_The child was facing away, but Asriel could see how they twitched. “Chara?”_

_"K ~~i **l**~~ **l** … ~~m~~ e."_

_“Look at me, what’s going on? Where are we?” He moved forward despite his better judgment._

_"N ~~ **o! N** o!~~ **Do** n’t ~~**lo** o~~k a **t** ~~m **e!"**~~_

_“Chara!” He reached out._

**_D ~~on’t~~ _ ** _touch_ **_m ~~e~~!_ **

_Asriel was being pushed away, but resisted, reaching out again. His grasp on their shoulder made him aware of what was wrong with Frisk’s body before he turned them around._

_Chara’s eyes were blank, dripping Void across their skin. At his touch, under the sweater, the skin fell away, revealing only sticky darkness which bled into the sweater. It looked like old blood, but smelled like decaying burnt flesh._

_Asriel pulled away but he could feel the Void on his hand, he could smell death rolling off of his friend. He tried again to step away, but there was only more of that thick, impassible darkness behind him-- and this darkness had hands._

_Hands with holes in the palms._

~~**You can’t handle the Void.** ~~ _He growled._ ~~**You’ve seen the Void, and yet you won’t embrace it.** ~~ _He sounded fascinated._ ~~**Quite impressive.** ~~

_“Gaster, let them go!” Asriel begged, still unable to look away from his friend(s?)._

~~**I gave them what they asked for.** ~~

_A silent cry drifted from the child. ~~K **i** l~~l… ~~M~~ **e…**_

_The world went dark around the three of them._

_~~As~~...r **i** … Chara faded into the darkness, reaching back now. Asriel couldn’t help but reach too, but the darkness was too quick._

~~**Ah, so. Where were we, errant prince?** ~~ _The voice was clearer now, but his anger tinted his words with an accent older than war._

_Asriel swallowed his words._

~~**You’ll play that game with me, will you?** ~~ _Figures moved in the darkness. Tall, emaciated, crimson glowing eyes. They crawled on all fours._ ~~**They’ve been hungry for centuries.** ~~ _Gaster intoned._

_“What are they?” Asriel couldn’t pull away from Gaster without getting closer to the things._

~~**Humanity as I remember it. Touched by the Void, even the most innocent things become twisted, unbearable. Fascinating, isn’t it, how the Void can give the dead life for a price so low. A price I hadn’t been able to pay.** ~~ _He growled and the hand reached to hover above where Asriel’s soul would be._

~~**A price you’re** ~~ **more than capable of paying** ~~**. Give me** ~~ **Blue** ~~**, and I’ll show Charisk mercy.** ~~

_Asriel resisted the tug, at the expense of facing the creatures._

_“No! You can’t take them! They’re all mine!” He yelled, and his Determination flared._

_Gaster laughed and shrugged._ ~~**Are they?** ~~

_Asriel held his breath, steeling himself. He could feel Gaster’s presence everywhere, now that he thought about it. Gaster had been everywhere from the start._

_The creatures moved closer, their skin breaking and peeling when pulled too-tight over their too-large bones. The dust that seeped from them had a darker color and smelled terrible._

~~**Understand this, errant prince.** ~~ _His words were everywhere._ ~~**Understand that if you interfere with my family, I will show you no mercy.** ~~ _The accent was heavier, and Asriel could feel Gaster’s rage building._ _The creatures screamed without mouths and began to wither away. But not before Asriel could see the fear in their eyes, see the form they must have once resembled before they were just mangled human corpses, eyes open and crimson._

~~**You will not win against me.** ~~ _Gaster said simply._ ~~**Remember that.** ~~

 

* * *

 

Flowey awoke with a start, the echo of the faceless-ones’ screams still ringing in his ears. The door that should not exist creaked as it slowly swung closed.

Flowey was shuddering and decided that anywhere but here would be an appropriate place to rest from here on out.

The fear began to ebb. The plan would go as intended. Flowey held tightly to the souls within him and began to plot his next move.

 

* * *

***

You were making last minute changes to your repertoire after showing Burgerpants your setlist. You told Sans to go get the house ready while you and Burgerpants talked music, and Sans remembered the… “light reading” he needed to catch up on.

He was beginning to embarrass himself.

Papyrus and Mettaton were perfectly capable of setting the party up without him, he told himself, returning to his lab and realizing he hadn’t been there since Love Day. He sat down in front of the books and hesitated.

The subject matter, what he’d seen of it, what he’d heard… it made him feel kind of… sick. He didn’t know how to understand what humans do with each other’s bodies-- and previously, he’d never imagined _wanting_ to understand. But this was different.

 _You_ were different.

He… wanted to understand how your body worked. And maybe Alphys was right, that maybe he should ask you first, but… He would rather have some form of knowledge about this than none, in case… the event ever arose.

Decisively, he picked up the first issue. A page that was bookmarked caught his eye, and decided it was a good place to start--

It was the page he’d seen ages ago, with the welcoming valley of an exposed stomach and the hint of hip bones-- he looked away and took a deep breath. Already he didn’t know what he was doing with this. It was intended to create a reaction, right?

What was his reaction, though?

He went to the beginning of the book and read through it carefully. He admittedly wasn’t learning a damn thing until the third issue, where suddenly-- without him being prepared for it--

Well, he’d seen one of _those_ before. Agh, not only had you made a phantom limb version of it (even now he was wondering the purpose of the very pronounced veins), but being on the surface had exposed him to people-- or rather, a single person-- who rather liked exposing themselves.

Every. Time.

The memory made him put the book down and laugh to himself. It was something you would appreciate, he mused. He’d have to tell you.

Every time they got to the surface, there was always the same guy in the town he and Papyrus moved into. He would show up one day, not the same day, but in the first week. He’d just show up in a trenchcoat, flash them, and then run off down the street, cackling.

Sans looked at the book again and was aware that his face was heavily laden with his magic. Good to know… erm… how exactly it was _supposed_ to be used? He wasn’t sure, and to be honest he couldn’t keep a straight face.

He laughed his way through the rest of the borrowed issues and then tossed them through another shortcut. Alphys let out an indignant noise before he voided the shortcut, but Sans couldn’t care at this point. If it was any consolation to himself, he couldn’t do much worse than the Trenchcoat Guy, or the protagonist of those manga. When the time came, he couldn’t be sure he’d be ready, but…

He chose to worry about that when the opportunity was **thrust** upon him. One day at a time, as it were.

***

* * *

 

 

You and Undyne were divvying up alcohol already while Papyrus was setting up the boombox that Napstablook had lent him. Somehow, Undyne and Alphys had already made a [CD ](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLhzv9ei369Kn-Vis_9ZVtutChLVajpmbl)of the most perverted and cute vocaloid songs and it was blaring. You didn’t want to start dancing just yet. You just weren’t quite drunk enough to fully enjoy the beats-- and you were glad you didn’t know any of these songs.

With any luck you wouldn’t try to sing anything while poised atop a lawnchair-- not that you’d done that before! Of course not.

And while you were _certainly_ not doing that back then, you _absolutely_ didn’t fall off the chair and onto someone. The person who had picked you up off of the now unconscious person… you _definitely_ did not try to kiss them.

Okay, it was time to come clean. There was a reason you didn’t get too drunk. You were the world’s worst flirt. And the drunker you got, the worse you got.

And you would be in a room full of monsters who were attracted to you, excluding Undyne. Maybe if you just focused on Undyne, that would keep you off the ceiling?

You doubted it.

Sans showed up, taking you out of your embarrassed introspection and you offered him a human-style brew. He cracked it and gulped it in one go.

“Slow down there, champ.” You said gently, wondering what had gotten into him.

He shook himself. “needed that.” He grumbled, face heavily shaded with blue.

Rather than pry into what prompted this behaviour, you took it upon yourself to follow suit. You grabbed one of the bottles and opened it.

Papyrus was nursing a literal gallon jug of milk, which Undyne took away from him and rushed to the kitchen with it. You heard her on the phone with Grillby, desperately asking him for what sounded like the thousandth time how to make a "white russian drink."

You took a sip and the three of you sat down on the floor, waiting for Undyne to come back.

You jumped and almost spilled your bottle when the door burst open behind you. “DARLINGS!~”

Undyne screeched her displeasure and threw the empty milk jug at the robot.

“Rude!” He responded, sitting next to Papyrus. “It was a bit crowded over in the lab, and so I decided to visit and liven this clusterfuck up.”

Papyrus blushed a bit and wouldn’t meet anyone’s eyes. You took the hint. The reason Mettaton was acting odd was most definitely a recent-- ahem… _hacking_. You had never known Mettaton to curse, but he looked absolutely wrecked right now. He was the closest to disheveled you’d ever seen, and you could glimpse a poorly-covered marker smudge on his thigh right above a set of dents. You'd noticed it earlier, but it was illegible and you hadn't the time to try to decipher it.

“Well, at least you won’t be feeling left out this time.” You muttered.

You all learned that Papyrus danced amazingly to a song called “Dancing Samurai.” All of you laughed and cheered as he did the dance. Mettaton attempted to join him, but fell over not long afterward, laughing, the sound glitching slightly.

 

* * *

 

You were absolutely plastered. So far you’d flirted with the tv, Sans, and the couch. Yes, you flirted with the couch, calling it your favorite green lumpy thing and saying its cushions were so very comfortable to make out on. You had giggled the entire time, gesturing wildly in ways that didn’t make any sense.

Undyne had to confiscate your phone after you began texting Burgerpants. You had started out by typing so incoherently that Burgerpants had texted Mettaton to ask if you were trying to type with your face rather than fingers.

The last text was interrupted, because Undyne took the phone to read the message aloud. Or attempt to. She was laughing too hard, trying to pronounce the typos.

“ _..... dude like.... im so sorry lol. Im like te most annoying drunk ever cuz i wanna hug and laugh and sing and shit and everyonr else is likr 'naw bra stay awaaay'_  
 _Sooooooo *huggs but with respect for personal spaace*_  
 _Cuz u my best fridnd..._ ”

  
After the laughter died down and Undyne snapped a picture of you to send with the message, she promptly passed out on the floor. She had drunk more than all of you combined, and it seemed to have hit her all at once.

To give Undyne a relatively quiet area to sleep off the booze, Papyrus threw her onto the couch and everyone migrated upstairs to Sans’s room. By some miracle, it was still pretty clean, though that could be because he hadn’t been home enough to wreck it again yet.

You settled down on the mattress, face buried in the pillow as you happily mumbled random song lyrics into it. It wasn’t long before Mettaton, of course, tempted the beast. “So, Phantom, what was your favorite thing about our stage kiss?”

You groaned appreciatively. “It was pretty nice, actually. Uh, the lip biting thing… was pretty nice.”

Mettaton laughed. “I didn’t do that.”

“I know. I did.” You chuckled and rolled around on the mattress, suddenly unable to get comfortable. “I’M WAY TOO HOT I’M TAKING MY SHIRT OFF IT’S OKAY BECAUSE I AM WEARING A SPURKSBRAH.” The last word or so was lost in your attempt to talk around the mouth of the bottle as you attempted to drink from it. It was long empty.

You dropped the bottle with a miserable noise and peeled your shirt off to reveal your sports bra and scars- _scars_ - ** _scars._** For a moment, everyone just stared. ** _  
_**

You couldn’t care less.

You ran your fingers over your bare arms. “Hey, when we get to the surface, I’m gonna get tattoos. Like… of _all of you guys_ on my arms. Except for Jerry. Cuz fuck him.”

Sans was sobbing from laughter at this point.

You slapped the top of his head. “I’M GETTING _YOUR_ NAME TATTOOED ON MY ASS!” You cried out passionately. “I’d ask if you wanted to match, but you have no ass-- and yes, I’ve been looking.” You slurred suggestively, giving him your best attempt at come-hither eyes. “Smexy weird bone-thing.” You attempted to compliment.

He wasn’t the only one struggling to breathe now. Everyone was laughing their asses off at your inebriated passion.

****

“METTATON, WHAT EXACTLY IS LIP BITING?” Papyrus asked at last once the laughter had calmed the slightest bit.

You straightened up on the bed in disbelief, staring at Papyrus with eyes that were comically wide. "What do you mean you don’t know about lip-biting? You can’t say you haven’t done the rough kissing with Mettaton! I mean, with _those_ lips, man you’d be crazy not to!"

"HUMAN, I DON’T HAVE LIPS." He reminded, not seeming very amused. You noticed his eyes glanced from Mettaton’s face to yours. More specifically, to your lips. He turned away shyly.

"Oh, right. Anyway." You leaned off the bed until you fell on your elbows and face, then crawled the rest of the way off. You managed to sit on your legs and grabbed his face to turn him toward you. You looked mischievously up at him and nibbled your lower lip. "See?"

He turned beet red. "I-I DO SEE. LIPS… ERM… are very nice."

Mettaton laughed but you flopped over to where you were laying across his legs.

"Don't you start laughing, I know you got hacked today, so!" The rest of the sentence flew south for the summer and you finished the idea by violently wiggling your eyebrows at him.

"Oh? Is that so, Phantom dear?" He purred, "And what about you and Sans? I can imagine you’ve done worse than wire-play."

"I plead the fifth. As in... this is my fifth drink haha.” You had snatched the drink that Sans had been nursing and raised it to your lips. It, too, was empty.

Sans reached over and tickled your ribs. You squirmed in Mettaton's lap, roaring with laughter. "No fair, goddammit!" You cried out, dropping the bottle before you could use it as a weapon in your drunken stupor.

"all's fair in love and war!" You weren’t sure you were used to this type of attitude coming from him, but it was nice. To hear him laugh so easily, to be so lax and carefree as he tried his best to bring you to tears with laughter.

Mettaton gave Papyrus a significant look, and Sans gathered you into his arms so Mettaton could get out from under you. You were still laughing too hard to notice they were leaving.

Sans had you sitting in his lap, and his chin rested on your shoulder. He couldn’t help but nuzzle into your neck. You still felt ticklish so you giggled, but there was the distinct feeling of his magic burning through you. It sent a happy chill through your body.

His proximity was one thing, but after a moment you could tell exactly what he had on his mind. The laughter died in your throat as his teeth dug gently into the side of your neck.

"is this ok?" He asked. In his drunken state, he was thinking about how your skin would taste, he was thinking about those books, about what he could imagine you liking.

"Ah, fuck." Your head lolled back against his shoulder. His hand brushed against your side gently, and your breath hitched.

"heh, i’ve got a question, shale." He asked, voice drifting lower, slurring a tad. He certainly didn’t feel drunk enough to slur, and he could feel your pulse against his mouth as he pressed it to your neck again without biting. The urge returned tenfold and...

"Uhm... go for it?" You felt something and you squeaked when you realized it was a tongue, lapping along your neck softly, like a dark promise.

His voice was a growl, resonating through your body. "do you want me?"

Up your side, the skeletal fingers danced, and then he held your neck. His breath against your skin was hot, and you were definitely glad you'd already taken your shirt off. You wanted to feel his breath all over you. Curiosity won out and you turned slightly to try to look at him. "Do... you have a tongue?"

He chuckled darkly into your neck, and again the flicker of soft warmth against your skin sent a thrill straight through you. You let out a noise without meaning to, and he shuddered behind you. "god, i fuckin love how you sound."

His hand left your neck for your hair, he grabbed close to the scalp and gave a gentle pull. "tell me if i go too far, shale. i don’t want to hurt you."

His words stirred emotions in you that you didn't want to have. His other hand drifted along your body, and you melted against him.

When had you started making noises? You weren't sure. All you knew was that this was uncharted territory. He’d told you you could back out, hadn’t he? That was new. And empowering. But somehow, you still felt deliciously helpless.

Sans moved you gently, and you were now on your back. He loomed over you, and you moved your legs. You silently begged him to come closer. Gods, you just needed his touch. He obliged, lowering himself down, pressing flesh to bone-- when had his shirt come off?-- and you put your arms around his neck and sloppily kissed him.

He let out a small laugh. "shale, you’re shaking." You wanted to tell him to shut up, but you saw the look on his face and softened. He was shaking, too. "i....i, uh, see how it might be less gross in practice now. uh... did... you want to?"

You couldn't help but laugh and press another kiss to his face. "I'm yours." You said simply, and you couldn’t remember the last time you’d been so sure about two words. The subsequent rush of his magic flaring surprised you. Had those words really--?

There was no time to ask stupid questions. His hands roved you with a new urgency. Did your shorts come off torn or whole?

Now you could see his tongue-- and it brought a low, desperate moan from you as he laved your chest. "f...fuck, the way you taste..." His voice betrayed his own arousal, his breaths panting out over you.  
Your legs were around his waist. You were so ravenous for him that you were babbling incoherently. Some of it might have sounded a bit more coherent than the rest, but you didn't even know what you were saying. It wasn't as important as the buzzing warmth of him against your bare skin.

 _did they just…?_ He hesitated for a moment and stared down at you. Shock, disbelief...

For that moment, you were scared. Did he want this too? Did you do something wrong?

"what did you just say?” He asked, eyes beseeching. _say it again._

"I don't know, please..." You honestly didn’t remember, and you weakly tried to pull him forward.

His expression unreadable, he obliged you. You sincerely hoped Papyrus and Mettaton had left. If they were in a three mile radius, you were sure they'd be hearing you right now.

"Oh holy fuck!"

“did i hurt you?" He panicked.

“Fuck god, shit, NO! Please keep going!"

You wrapped your fingers around whatever you could, a clavicle in one hand, a rib in the other. Anything that you could drag him closer with. The heat was almost unbearable, and you weren't sure why you were already undone by everything. Eyes shut tightly as he continuously pressed into you, you let out moan after broken moan. He was staring down at you in wonderment.

"Sans? Is it good?” You asked, suddenly worried again.

He pulled you closer, still keeping rhythm with his hips, and bit your lip softly. "you're... so soft.” He held you tighter and his tongue danced across your lips. Eagerly they parted, and he swallowed your sounds. The almost electric feeling of his magic was too much to handle. Added to the fact that you were almost sure he was getting bigger… "Sans... Sa--I can't take much more."

"i know, baby, i know... oh, _fuck_... just a little longer, ok?" He wasn’t entirely sure what was being postponed, but he wanted to savor you just a while longer.

You were hovering on the edge there, willpower was all that stood between you and--

"i fucking love you." He said, tone desperate, pace quickening. "please, shale. _please_."

Willpower gone.

You cried out, writhing beneath him. He hadn't been prepared for this. Feeling you squeeze against him, ushering him deeper all the while, he let loose with a throaty moan. The two of you panted, clinging to each other, still entirely intertwined.

****

He'd said he loved you.

Tears came to your eyes, and you wrapped him closer to you.

"I... love you too." You replied.

Hopefully the door was locked, because Sans didn’t have enough strength to check after the both of you dragged yourselves onto the bed, curled up under the blankets, and fell into a sleep deeper than either of you could recall in years.

Neither of you were filled with DETERMINATION. After that, there was no room for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That last line is not meant to be perverted, but I'm pretty sure you guys wouldn't believe that.  
> Um! So what do you guys think Shale said that made Sans pause? 
> 
> Just a reminder, this was the first example of smut I'd written in three years. I've warmed up over the last month or two, but... It's honestly not the best I've done. We'll get to that later, though. Trust me!
> 
> What comes next:
> 
> Always in Threes will be the next thing I update.  
> Blue's Baby Bones and/or Swap-Searcher will be after that, or I might post the first chapter of Fell-Searcher (because I'm a glutton for punishment)  
> Someone I Can Trust is coming along, too, finally.  
> Depending on when my smut-inspiration strikes, Take Me To Church might update soon, but I have a lot of research to do. And I don't even mean that in the perverted way.


	34. I Can't Even Hold All These Feels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alphyne Wedding. Let's meet Undyne's mother, Umiyo!
> 
> See the end notes for Soul-Searcher's last READER'S CHOICE, as well as a list of the projects I've done since Soul-Searcher last updated! We got some good stuff this time, guys!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took me almost an entire month to write and I'm so sorry. It was so fucking heavy and it's quite possibly one of the longest chapters I've written thus far. 
> 
> Prepare your feels. PREPARE THEM!  
> (Playlist enclosed in chapter, but here for good measure, as well:  
> https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLhzv9ei369Kn6oZLD4G5FG7KHVkO3aCJ9  
> This is the playlist of wedding songs.)
> 
> Many thanks to Jai for helping me supplement this playlist and for crying onto the manuscript so much. The tears only strengthened the words!

Undyne woke in a panic and didn’t know where she was. When she recognized the room, her first response was to locate everyone else, as she just now realized IT WAS VERY LATE IN THE MORNING.

Yes, she needed to hurry lest she be _late to her own wedding!_ She couldn’t do that to Alphys. It would tear her up with nerves if she was even a second late…

Papyrus’s door went down easily, but no one was in there. Damn, he must have went home with Mettaton, that gross bastard. Sure, she didn’t hate Mettaton as much as she used to, but… well she couldn’t shake the feeling that Mettaton was bad news for Papyrus. He wasn’t quite the Cinnamon Bunny that she’d thought him, but he was still her friend and she kind of thought of him like a little brother.

Speaking of which…

“Fuck, I gotta go see Mom and Starry.” She rubbed at her face and backed out of Papyrus’s room.

She glanced at Sans’s room. A grin broke on her face and she hesitated. The sneaking suspicion made her want to go in there and see for herself if anything had actually happened…

But she also remembered how she would have felt if such a moment had been interrupted between her and Alphys. Just because the two of you had done so accidentally… She couldn’t justify doing it on purpose. So she casually strolled to the door, knocked sharply and spoke loud enough that anyone inside could hear. “You two had better be to Muffet’s on time for fittings!”

She heard the distinct sound of someone tripping over another person and grunting against the ground. She stifled a cackle and left before she could barge in anyway. Her mother, Umiyo, required an escort to the wedding, and Undyne was eager to be that person.

 

* * *

 

It was another time back then, roughly fifteen years before Undyne would marry. As a child, Undyne hadn’t known a hero greater than her mother existed. Umiyo used that admiration to shape her daughter to have strong morals, to believe in her own strength of will. Every moment she could spare to the effort of teaching a lesson, she took.

“Mom, tell me about your first fight with the humans again.” Undyne demanded, lying in bed. This was a common ritual in the evenings. Umiyo sat down at the foot of the bed, her eyes focusing and unfocusing on her young daughter. Of all the stories she’d ever told, this one was her favorite, Stars knew why. Regardless, Umiyo loved the way her daughter’s eyes lit with pride, though it was so difficult to see much of anything anymore.

“I was younger than you are now. Perhaps seven years old. It’s been a while… quite a while. Perhaps I was ten.”

“Mom!” Undyne protested with a groan, ever impatient to hear the actual story.

“The age is important, brat!” She aggressively ruffled Undyne’s hair, taking care not to claw her. Undyne laughed, her voice so sweet and innocent. It made Umiyo burn with happiness that she had the joy of raising a child who wouldn’t know the ravages of war and genocide. Undyne had a parent—and even though she’d never see the sun or moon… Umiyo found a peace in the idea that existence away from the Celestials was still existence, still pure. The child’s laughter was proof of that.

Umiyo went on, the tale practiced—but still with the excitement, the enthusiasm of the very first time. “So, we were all on the surface. It was during the war, and I was very young. The guards weren’t prepared for the attack, and were hard pressed to protect the royal family—in fact, that was the day their Highnesses were killed.”

“But…?” Undyne always asked the same questions, and Umiyo always gave her the same answers. For someone who hated waiting, Undyne seemed to love the moments of history, and details of the world she'd never seen, interspersed with the action.

“Toriel was only a princess at the time. She had quite the responsibility to take on after that night. She married King Asgore, who had been one of the highest ranking officers of the Royal Guard. But that’s beside the point! Do you want to hear the story or not?” She squinted playfully at her daughter.

“Tell me!” She was practically bouncing. Umiyo envied her energy, honestly. She liked to joke that she bled it all out in the war and Undyne sprang from the puddle.

“That’s what I thought, you little twerp, you.” She said lovingly, but memory made her gnash her teeth with a bone-aching scraping noise. “So the humans attacked, and the guards were spread too thin. The children and those who could not defend themselves were rounded up and put in a stone building that would not burn. We huddled there together, praying for a miracle.”

Undyne squirmed, impatient for what she called “the exciting part.”

“The humans broke through, and everyone was petrified. It was the scariest thing I’ve ever experienced, to this day. We all sat there as the humans stood in the lone door in or out—and as some of the younger children started to cry and the elders tried to cover them with their bodies to shield them from whatever was to come if possible… I stood and began yelling.

“I said, ‘you’re all a bunch of cowards! If any of you had a dang bit of honor, you’d turn around and leave us!’ and they… laughed.” She suppressed the shiver this time. “I bared my claws and teeth and hissed at them, puffing myself up as big as I could get. And I said, ‘if you wanna hurt my people, you’re gonna have to go through me, first!’”

Undyne was enraptured, staring up at her mother like she held the world in that scarred, clawed hand.

“They laughed, yes, but I managed to gouge one of them in the eye and clamp my jaws down hard on another one’s arm. But I was no match for all of them. They dislodged me, throwing me on the ground. They kicked me, stomped me, and when I got back up to fight again, they drew their weapons.”

Umiyo looked at her shoulder, where the sleeve of her shirt was tied in a knot. “They took my arm, but they didn’t take my fighting spirit.” She said proudly, still feeling the sting of ages past. “I got up again and again, hoping they would forget everyone else. Even if I died, it would be worth it if I could save even one of them.”

Her smile widened. “It was worth every scar. Their weapons took my arm. But I’m still here, and I’m still just as dangerous, if not more!” She looked at her daughter proudly. “You understand, right?”

Undyne was proud to be who she was, and there was no one she wanted to be more like than her mother. But she couldn’t quite wrap her head around this story. There was always a question nagging her, but tonight she finally worked up the nerve to ask it. “It’s not fair, though. You lost a part of you. Doesn’t that bother you?”

Umiyo smiled and shook her head. “I’m still the same person. I’m no less whole. It’s just something that’s a part of me now.” She wasn’t surprised at the new question. It was just another lesson to teach.

“But…?”

“The point of the story, Undyne… is that you must always give everything your all. No matter how heavy your heart gets, you must carry it high. And when punching won’t work, kick and bite. _Never_ give up.” She paused, staring blankly at the wall for a moment, collecting her words. “I believe in justice, Undyne. One day, we will be free again, and we can carry out that justice on humanity.”

“Are all humans bad?” The child whispered. “Aren’t there any good ones?”

Umiyo was quiet. “I don’t believe there are.” She carefully nudged her daughter’s forehead in lieu of a (very painful) kiss. “You should get some sleep, twerp.”

 

* * *

 

A few months after Frisk had left the Underground, Undyne had noticed the yellow reptilian child just wandering around, watching her intently, and had decided to interact with them. The first thing she learned, aside from their lack of arms, was that they had no name.

Their parents were not the type to form attachments easily. The child’s sister had run away to stay with a friend in another part of the Underground, leaving the kid alone with parents who didn’t even care enough to spare a real name for them.

They wanted to be like Undyne, but with everything going on—even if everything was peaceful now—Undyne had no time to train anyone, and the kid wasn’t just in need of training, but a family.

So Undyne did the only thing she knew to do. She brought the child to the seat of her own success. Umiyo had answered the door, staring above Undyne’s head for a moment as her eyes struggled to focus. That she could see at all was thanks to Alphys, who had been working on a visual aid that would work for Umiyo.

Umiyo’s eyes met Undyne’s and then darted down to observe the child. Her voice raspy with age and the tendency to yell, Umiyo cleared her throat and tried to speak. “Who’s this little twerp?” Her tone was fond—Undyne knew that—but the kid shrank under her gaze.

“You’re Undyne’s mom?” The child stared for a moment before they noticed something. The aging woman’s left sleeve was tied at the shoulder, void of an arm.

“Yeah, I guess I am.” She laughed and bent down a bit so she could see them better. “You have a name? Or should I just keep calling you twerp?”

The child shrugged. “You can call me whatever.” There was a note of resignation there and everyone noticed.

“None of that!” She straightened, the picture of an aged but still capable soldier. “I’ll give you a name!”

They looked excited for less than a second before doubt crossed their face. “How are you going to train me, though?”

She chuckled and the child didn’t notice Undyne backing away carefully. The child also didn’t notice they were flying across the air until they were caught by Undyne, yards away. “AND THAT’S HOW YOU PUNT! I STILL GOT IT!” Umiyo bellowed, laughing crassly.

They didn’t question Umiyo’s capability anymore, that was for sure. They weren’t hurt, thankfully, and the rest of the day was spent in a haze of talking, Undyne taking notes to bring to Toriel about the kid’s parents. With how passionate Toriel was about children’s care, Undyne wouldn’t be surprised if Toriel set them ablaze personally.

Evening came and Undyne sat with the child as Umiyo skillfully fixed dinner. She did it exuberantly, though not nearly as much so as Undyne did. The biggest difference was that Umiyo had never burnt down a home. She played at destruction, but never openly flirted with it.

After dinner, Undyne went to leave and the child got up to go after her. Umiyo grabbed their shoulder and cleared her throat. Undyne turned too. She noticed how hesitant Umiyo had been, and she feared for the kid. If Umiyo didn’t take them in, Undyne wasn’t sure what would become of them.

“I’m a little old to be starting all over like this." She said softly, and Undyne’s hope sank. "But." Her hazy eyes glanced up at Undyne with sentiment that rarely showed so heavily. "I did well enough the first time, didn’t I?”

Undyne relaxed at last, filled with relief.

Umiyo sunk to her haunches, "I can’t promise to be perfect… but I can at least feed you, give you a name." She smiled. "I know it sucks to have no one look out for you." _Stars_ , did she know.

An idea struck her. "Star."

The kid hitched a brow at her.

"I’m calling you Starry." She said, grin growing wider by the second.

They blinked at her. "What’s a star?"

Umiyo felt shock prickle her for a moment. Of course, just because _she_ could remember the open skies… she could remember seeing well enough to see the dancing clouds flit across the moon…

"It’s something to dream for, kid. It’s something to look to. And that’s exactly what you are.” This close, her eyes could focus, so she saw the doubt on their face. Her tone roughened a bit, brooking no argument. “You are worth _so much_ , you little brat.”

Tears sprang to Starry’s eyes and Umiyo smiled warmly, her hoarse voice rumbling in a chuckle. She drug them closer to her, and they burrowed against her.

 

* * *

 

It had been two and a half years since that day, and Umiyo had been too busy in the Capital to do much of anything with Undyne when she wasn’t visiting, though she was still so proud, even of her relationship. Alphys seemed like a sweet enough kid. She certainly brought a certain light to her daughter’s eye, that was for sure. That was all that mattered.

Starry was bouncing on the bed already, and Umiyo had to scoop them up with her arm and pack them out while they squealed with laughter. “C’mon, squirt, time to get ready, or you’ll miss Ane’s little party.”

Umiyo rarely spoke in her ancestral language. There weren’t any others who remembered it, other than the few phrases she could get Captain Ghayth to remember back in the day. Starry really liked to call Undyne Ane, though. It made Umiyo wish she hadn’t fallen out of practice so she could teach it to them. Other than the word for mother, for sister, and a few other phrases (mostly used in training context) she couldn’t remember a bit.

At the reminder that today was important, Starry became much more compliant and worked with Umiyo to fix up the housework. They had every right to be excited about today. Starry was enamored with the human traditions that Undyne had gushed about during her last visit, though it sounded like rubbish to Umiyo. She wouldn’t say that, though. Never would she belittle her daughter’s wants. Even if she didn’t understand them, they were not her’s to decide.

Umiyo herself was brimming with pride as she rummaged in the closet for something that would fit the occasion. Her hand hovered over the uniform of ages past. Sure, Undyne had loved this old thing and everything it represented back when she was small and full of admiration, but… how could she still think so highly of Umiyo’s participation in the war when she herself outranked her? And, from the rumors and bits of conversation she heard…

What did Undyne think of the war anymore after her friendship with a human?

Undyne burst through the door and swept her adopted sibling up onto her shoulders with a laugh. “Starry! Where’s mom at?”

Starry directed Undyne to the bedroom where she courteously knocked. This was a strange habit to be forming today, of all days.

Umiyo called out, and Undyne stepped in. “Sorry to intrude.” She said automatically, under her breath. It didn’t sound out of place to Umiyo, though she couldn’t say she’d heard it from her daughter before. Something about it felt right, though. Like a comforting memory of the ocean.

“Ah, with all this human traditions stuff, I don’t know what to wear, Undyne. Help a kappa out, would you?” It was a phrase that Umiyo would say often, though not with this level of uncertainty. Undyne progressed into the room, resisting the urge to ask what the hell a kappa was other than Umiyo’s surname. Undyne knew that there was more to it than that, but Umiyo hadn’t talked about it. In truth, it was because it was yet another thing Umiyo had forgotten over time.

Undyne peeked into the closet and thought for a moment. “Mom, didn’t I ask you to come for fittings? Why didn’t you go?”

She shrugged. “Just didn’t have the strength to go out that day.” She admitted, only causing Undyne to worry more. How much longer did Umiyo have before she aged to dust? Surely not so soon…

“Don’t look like that, twerp.” She remarked, elbowing Undyne in the ribs, chuckling. “I’m fine for now. I’m gonna live to see the surface again if it kills me.”

Undyne grimaced internally. She had been wondering how her mother would react to meeting you. She’d even thought of asking you to disguise yourself for the wedding, but… Muffet had already made the clothes for your (much smaller and less complicated) human form.

Umiyo’s hand still hovered over her old uniform. Undyne was conflicted. She loved her mother, was proud of her, proud of what she did. She would never hold anything against her… but was her mother capable of change? Would she be able to forgive humanity for the wrongs against her and all monsters?

That uniform was war. And to wear that to a human-style wedding in particular, where a human would be in attendance…

But if she told Umiyo no…

“Muffet is quite skilled.” Umiyo said wistfully. “Let’s give her a call. If she’s not too busy.” Her hand retreated from the uniform with a note of finality. She shut the closet and smiled at her children. “We can all stay and have some breakfast while Muffet gathers her resources.” She said.

Undyne was antsy, and not just from the situation of moments ago, which even now felt rotten in her gut. “Today is a _lovely day_ , let’s enjoy it fully.” Umiyo reminded her daughter, face stern but warm. Undyne let her mother’s confidence and unshakable love reassure her and nodded. The three of them sat at the table for a moment. Umiyo began cooking and she and Undyne had coffee while Starry tried to play twenty questions with their sister.

“Ane! Ane! Do you remember Frisk?” Starry eventually asked. Until that question came up, Undyne had managed to look disinterested, but that one made Undyne slosh coffee on her lap and she hissed and blotted it quickly. Starry was cowed, but only for a moment. Undyne answered. “Of course I remember Frisk. Kinda hard to forget them.”

Starry hesitated. “So you… remember me, too right?”

She smiled. “You were a total stalker, kid.” She said lovingly, sweeping them up and giving them a noogie as they squealed with glee. “Yeah, and… I think that, back then, was what made me bring you here, you know?”

Umiyo turned and gave her a look. “What do you mean? Thought it was because you took mercy on a lonely old fish.”

Undyne laughed. “No, I mean… yeah, kinda… but…” She sighed. “So, Mom, you remember hearing about Frisk?”

“Starry never shuts up about them.” She teased. “Think they had a crush.”

“Did _not_!” Starry argued. “I just… wish I could see them again so I could tell them I have a name now. I kinda miss them.”

Undyne understood. Umiyo gave a harrumph. “You got a story to tell, kid. What about the human?”

“Oh, yeah.” Sheepishly she set Starry down and turned to her mother, who was still managing breakfast, her actions reckless in appearance only. “So… I was supposed to uh, take their soul, you know? Set us all free and stuff. But Starry here kept getting in the way of that, until they almost fell to their death from a bridge and Frisk helped them. Saved their life. Now… I had just told Starry to stay _away_ from the human. But…”

Starry chuckled nervously and glared at their feet.

“I didn’t understand it at first. Didn’t want to open myself for an attack, but Frisk just… helped them up and Starry stood there in front of them, facing _me_ down.”

Umiyo looked at Starry incredulously for a moment.

“And they said the damndest thing, Mom.” Undyne continued, glancing into the remainder of her coffee. “They told me I had to get through them first.” There was silence for a moment, and Umiyo removed the pan from the stove to keep it from burning. She stared at Undyne, not really understanding the significance at first.

It hit her after a moment, after Undyne began talking again. “I just… stood there for a moment, you know? I was… surprised, yeah… but that wasn’t the right word.”

Umiyo opened her mouth to talk once. Twice. She quit trying. Her words didn’t encompass the feeling of nostalgia.

“I realized that… in that moment, _I_ was the humans in that situation. That, to Starry and Frisk… I looked just like those ruthless fucking…” She swallowed her words. “I refused to be that person.”

Umiyo looked at her daughter with the dawning of understanding. It wasn’t about human and monster, it was…

Umiyo smiled, and tears pricked her eyes.

It was a lesson learned better than she’d ever imagined.

 

* * *

 

You were singing as you showered. Sans could hear you in the next room and he sat there with a dumb grin on his face. Last night was a blur… but he could remember it. He could remember everything and he wanted to preserve the memory forever. It wasn’t about the sex (though that was weird and yet exciting as hell, admittedly), it was about the feelings. You had said you loved him.

This morning, you didn’t seem to feel any different, and he was _so relieved_ that you didn’t. Hell, with how you were acting last night, he was only half sure you wouldn’t have regrets this morning.

Your phone rang next to him, and he noticed Alphys’s number. He picked up. “Sans.”

“Sans? Oh. I-it works. P-Papyrus and Mettaton are already here getting f-fitted. Hurry up and get here soon before Muffet has to leave!”

“where’s she going?”

Alphys sighed. “Undyne requested her for her mom and Starry.” There was some note of worry in Alphys's voice.

Sans knew little to nothing about Undyne’s mom, but he knew that she’d adopted the kid that used to hang around Snowdin and Waterfall. Guess he’d get a crash course today, wouldn’t he? “yeah, yeah. we’ll get there as soon as shale’s done showering.”

Alphys made a noise. “Oh… and… S-Sans… don’t leave Birdy alone with Undyne’s mom. S-she… well, I d-don’t know how well she does with humans.”

“you saying she’ll attack on sight?” He thought for a moment. “they can handle themself… but i appreciate the warning. i’ll keep a socket out.”

Alphys hung up before it got too awkward and Sans scraped at the back of his skull while he thought. You would be on stage most of the night, right? No danger there... _right_?

He saw your phone’s screen flash again. This time it was Burgerpants calling. Sans snorted and answered, once again using the fabric of the blanket to bypass his inability to use touchscreens like a normal creature.

“yellow.” He waited for the cat to talk but there was just silence. “can i take a message or does the **cat got your tongue**?”

“Urgh.” BP sounded sickened. “Just… wanted to check up on Phantom and see if they were ready to go, if they needed anything.”

“can’t think of anything myself, but when they’re out of the shower i’ll ask them. hey, while i’m at it, can i ask you a favor? you gonna be at the wedding?”

“Yeah, of course. Phantom will need a break between songs, and between me and Napstablook, we’ll have the interludes covered. Also, Phantom and I will be performing a couple of duets together.”

He grunted at that. BP let out a huff of a laugh. “Sure they would have been thrilled to have you perform with them instead, but you don’t know the songs. I do. Don’t worry though, by the time Metts and Papyrus have a go at it, you’ll have plenty of time to practice songs with them.”

Sans choked. BP laughed. “I’m just fuckin' around, man. I… uh, well I want them both to be happy, but… their lifestyles don’t exactly… fit together, y'know? I’m just concerned someone’s gonna get hurt.”

Sans nodded. “i... uh… think about the same.”

“So we’ll see you there, right? Also… tell Phantom that they’re my best friend too.” Sans could hear the smile, the blush in his voice.

“will do, pal.” Sans chuckled.

“Of all the people they could drunk text, they chose me?” He sounded a bit incredulous. “I mean… I was the only one out of us who didn’t get an invite to either party.”

Sans felt sympathy for the guy. Well, more like empathy. He was used to being left out of plans, usually because he had proven himself uncomfortable in crowds if he wasn’t pretending to be the happy performer. He had the suspicion that he and Burgerpants had more in common than he’d originally thought.

“well, we got this wedding, and then shale still has to sing at grillby’s eventually. maybe we could make it a thing, huh?”

The cat scoffed. “You think I’ll crash that?” There was a beat of silence. “When do you have in mind? I’ll clear a spot on my schedule.”

You came into the room quietly and saw Sans chuckling into your phone.

“Hey, come on, bonehead, we gotta move our asses!” You prodded at his shoulder and looked at him with a playful, fond smile.

“yeah, i’ll catch you later, bud.” Sans handed the phone off to you and stood up, leaning his head to the side in an attempt to pop his neck. Weird, he couldn’t remember automatically doing that before the two of you had bonded.

The two of you quickly went to meet with Muffet.

 

* * *

 

Muffet was beside herself by the time she finished working on Umiyo’s and Starry’s outfits. Umiyo was more than a bit surprised by the style of garb she’d wrapped her in.

It had been so long since she’d worn a kimono that she honestly didn’t remember how to put one on. It was also… odd, having one made specifically for her. Muffet had gone to lengths to design it in such a way that it was stylized, asymmetrical. It at once flattered Umiyo and made her look so much more natural, and not…

Well, she just didn’t look like she was missing something. And it had been so very long since the last time she’d worn something that fit like that, that fit _her_. She might have felt the prickle of tears but she bit them back.

“Keeping in touch with your heritage, huh?” She asked Muffet, her voice a bit more gruff than she’d intended. Muffet looked at Umiyo with confusion for a moment before memory touched her eyes. “Oh! Yes, somewhat. My references were actually something Undyne and Alphys handed over to me, though.”

Umiyo felt very strange about that. Had Undyne found some source of their heritage? How? It was very touching, and Umiyo had a strange, crooked grin that looked predatory from the jagged teeth that peeked from her mouth.

“Afufufu, you look like you’re certainly satisfied. I’m glad!” Her eyes closed with her smile, faint lines creasing at the corners of her eyes. “It makes it worth the rush.”

“Mom!” Starry groaned. “I can’t get this thing to stay on my shoulders!"

Muffet rushed over to the child, giggling. “Oh, you silly dear. You have to be more careful with the hakama!”

“Why do I have to wear this skirt-thing?!” They complained.

Umiyo’s voice boomed. “THE HAKAMA IS NOT A SKIRT THING!” She cleared her throat and her eyes darted to Muffet briefly before she continued. “Warrior men and women would wear them. Wear it with pride and don’t mock it! Be respectful!”

They bowed their head with a gulp. “Yes, Mom. Sorry.”

She sighed. “Sorry, I’m… not angry. Just… a bit emotional.”

Muffet laughed gently. “I’m glad your outfits turned out so well-- but I had lovely canvas to work with~!”

Starry laughed, and nudged one of Muffet’s hands in their version of a fist-bump. Umiyo looked at the door impatiently. “Well… We ought to get going. Muffet, shall we?”

 

* * *

 

You stood backstage, smoothing your suit for the umpteenth time as Burgerpants strode toward you at last. He smiled warmly at you and you recalled a hazy memory of the night before.

“Oh gods, I drunk texted you. What did I say?” You asked flatly, mortified that you couldn't recall.

“I thought Sans told you?” He grabbed you around the waist and threw you around. You resisted the urge to toss him yourself from the shock. “You’re my best friend too!”

 _Oh, that makes sense._ You smiled. “Wish you could have been there, man. I really didn’t know Paps could dance like that. It was hilarious.”

“Speaking of Papyrus.” The cat pointed a clawed finger out where everyone was mingling. Sans and Papyrus were standing together, and you could see everyone “subtly” pointing and murmuring to each other behind their hands.

Well, Papyrus did look mighty nice in a tux, you’d give him that.

 

* * *

 

Sans got Papyrus’s attention. “stick near me at all times, bro.”

“WHY?”

“because they’ll try to undress you and i’m too hungover to crack heads at the moment, heh.”

Papyrus was looking around in a way he hoped looked inconspicuous. Surely his friend would show up today, right? He was friends with Alphys, too, after all. You seemed to be his friend, too-- surely he wouldn’t miss your performance?

If he had indeed showed up, the flower was keeping a low profile. Papyrus worried that someone picked him or stomped him. But Flowey had proven to be most resilient to damage (not that Papyrus had _meant_ to step on him! It was an accident and he’d admittedly cried about it for a nice few hours until Flowey demanded he kindly shut the hell up), and so Papyrus had to trust that his friend would be okay.

Sans’s words registered to him and he laughed obnoxiously, pride swelling in his chest. “METTATON TOLD ME I LOOK DASHING IN THIS!” He didn’t add what Mettaton had said afterward, but his smile hitched the tiniest bit higher and Sans suppressed a growl.

If something went wrong and this ended up hurting Papyrus, he’d make sure the rust bucket would never be found. He knew a few nice places to hide a tawdry pink chassis.

 

* * *

 

Umiyo took in the attendees with a look of awe. So many people had turned up to witness this, one of the first marriages to happen down here in close to ten years. Starry stuck close, but was looking around desperately for someone familiar, immediately spotting Papyrus and rushing forward.

Umiyo’s eyes caught on the stage-- and the two beings on it-- and she froze. Yes, that was definitely the human she’d heard so much about. She was using the weird frames that Alphys had given her and zoomed in so she could see better. You were talking animatedly, excitedly with the cat monster. At first, Umiyo felt immense discomfort, but there was something about your mannerisms, the way your soul’s intentions were practically worn on your skin…

You were practically the _absence_ of malice. She could live with that, she supposed. For Undyne, she’d give you a chance. After all, if the rumors and local news were anything to believe, she would be the only one who didn’t take kindly to you.

Papyrus followed Starry over to Umiyo. Though Umiyo had heard a great deal about the tall oaf, this was the first time she’d met him in person. Sans stood beside him, and was observing her carefully, Stars knew why. It irked her slightly.

“YOU MUST BE UMIYO!” Papyrus brayed, grasping her hand in both of his and shaking it vigorously, warmly. Umiyo couldn’t help but laugh.

“Yes, yes. I’m Umiyo. Good to finally meet you, Papyrus.”

He put his hands over his blushing cheeks and turned to Sans. “AH! SANS, SHE KNEW ME BEFORE I INTRODUCED MYSELF! IS THIS WHAT POPULARITY FEELS LIKE?” It sounded like the poor kid was trying to stage-whisper. Undyne really hadn’t been exaggerating, had she?

You and the cat were taking the stage and setting it up with the help of a very dapper ghost. She saw the cat and ghost give you an encouraging gesture and nod respectively and leave backstage. You grabbed the microphone and called for attention. Umiyo listened intently-- everyone did.

“Good evening, everyone! It’s about time this day came, right?” There were some appreciative cheers from the middle of the crowd. It seemed Bratty and Catty were already wasted. Of course. You chuckled pleasantly, turning away from the mic. “So, how about we start this off right?”

A louder round of cheers sounded, and you smiled wider. Umiyo could sense your nervousness, though, and held her breath in anticipation of whatever the hell you were about to do.

Lights began to fire up all around the stage, and around the enclosure the wedding took place in. Umiyo noticed wires running along the ceiling of the cave, connecting to what looked like metallic orb-nodes the size of large boulders. As the lights came on, the nodes began to spark with yellow magic that began to lap across the distances, striking other nodes. The electric show ceased at last, and now there was [music](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLhzv9ei369Kn6oZLD4G5FG7KHVkO3aCJ9) coming from everywhere and nowhere.

“You guys ready?” You called, and everyone cried out as you grew bolder with the music. “Let’s do this!” Your fist shot in the air, and you began to sing--

Umiyo’s breath left her. It was as if she’d been doused in icewater-- no, the _ocean_ for the first time in centuries. This was the taste of home.

That was _her_ language!

 

* * *

 

As you sang, you focused on the feelings, on the want to dance, and channeled the song so nicely as you worked the stage. The machinery reacted in turn, and there were hints of magic sparking in the air above everyone as you sang. People were torn between watching you and marveling at the effects.

Burgerpants was beside himself backstage. “Holy shit, Blook.”

“Alphys did it. I just…”

“You… you really gotta learn to appreciate yourself, little buddy.”

Napstablook couldn’t help but smile and watched you with pride.

 

Undyne was pacing erratically, the music helping soothe her nerves the slightest bit. This had been one of her favorite songs you’d chosen, admittedly, but… How would today go? Would something go wrong? Whoever fucked with her this day would be eviscerated in the worst way, just wait.

Meanwhile, in another room, Alphys held her breath intently, peering out at everyone from her vantage point, relieved in the fact that the machinery, despite her haste in making it, was working just as well as she’d planned. She was even mostly sure that the stalactites wouldn’t crack from the decibels… Eh… _Mostly_ sure.

Behind her, a small voice piped up. She squeaked and turned. “F-Flowey?!”

 

* * *

 

Burgerpants was psyching himself up. This would be the first time he performed with you on stage like this, and with such an intimate song… yeah, he was nervous.

You slid from song to song effortlessly, trading languages like it meant nothing. Burgerpants was terrified that he’d mess up the lyrics when the time came for the two of you to sing. You’d both started learning the song at Alphy’s request, but… it was very new to you both.

You didn’t seem daunted, and you’d helped him so much with the pronunciation. He realized it wasn’t much challenge to you because, as you’d just proved, you were more than capable of singing in a different language.

Yes, when Sans figured out a day for the performance, he’d be certain to tag along. You wrapped up the second song and called for attention. Everyone waited as you introduced Burgerpants. He took a deep breath.

“You can do this.” Napstablook said with that confidence that they only seemed to show around the cat monster. Burgerpants sighed and grinned at his friend before running out onto the stage. He was met with thunderous applause. You handed him a microphone and nodded to him, focusing on the beginning of the next song.

The two of you hadn’t gotten the choreography down, but it would have been weird anyway, so the two of you just did what you wanted, working the stage together and supporting each other, facing each other and dancing around. It was an impromptu actor’s work, but the two of you had shared a stage together before, and this wasn’t the biggest challenge you’d overcome.

It was much more fun than either of you had thought it would be, and your magic reflected it through the machinery. Colors danced in the sky, like the northern lights. Others were dancing now, too, and there was all-around laughter and cheering.

Backstage, Mettaton arrived dressed to his best and looking like absolute sin in a flowing black [gown ](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0Bz-_y2FLF5aOOEVjMGxELUN0ODZLaFdUN2dpNE9ESi04blBF)that fishtailed in the back but left the front view of his legs to view. He wore a lace-like [overlay ](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0Bz-_y2FLF5aOaGQ3S2U4WXBBYTVnWDFWazNHN1ZucUhITzg0)over the sleek metal, and his regular boots had been traded out for beautiful dark [platformers ](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0Bz-_y2FLF5aOTUI4VHE0RDE2UUNUemtRVFVGSWVBNXlEMUVR)that had no heels, making him look otherworldly and absolutely unfairly elegant-- especially since he was so balanced that there was no danger of him falling on his face.

He stood next to Blooky as the duet ended and Napstablook started the song that Alphys and Undyne had agreed would be perfect for this moment. Undyne came out and stood at the forefront next to Toriel, who would give the traditional blessings, since Asgore wasn’t able to. Papyrus and Sans took their places as First Hands.

Everyone around took their places, and Mettaton and Napstablook left to join everyone else as the next song began.

At last, Alphys appeared, just as Burgerpants’ voice rang throughout the area. She looked nervously around at everyone, her smile faltering, hands shaking… and then she glimpsed Undyne and they both lit up. Alphys’s steps were sure now, and she walked forward to take her place next to Undyne. They held hands and turned toward Toriel.

Outside of the brothers, the lovers, and the queen, no one else heard the words. The silence aside from the song was complete, but you could see Alphys, Undyne, and Toriel speaking.

You stood with Mettaton, and together the two of you stared at the skeletons. Your eyes locked with Sans’s and you felt your heart leap, your bones burn a little bit with a pleasant, tingling jolt.

Mettaton muttered to you. “I give it a month till you’re planning your own, darling.” You didn’t bother telling him otherwise. You didn’t want to rush this, no. But this was beautiful. You could almost imagine what it would be like to experience it firsthand.

Just not yet.

 

* * *

 

Umiyo watched with pride as her daughter said the Sacred Vows with assistance of the Queen. She pulled Starry close to her in a one-armed hug and suddenly felt very old, very full of age. She was, yes… she was-- but so were many of them. Even old Gerson was here, she noted.

Her pride lit up the room, drawing the attention of a few others. Starry was dancing from foot to foot nervously at the attention, but their smile was bright and contagious. They were proud, too.

Umiyo felt a pang at the realization that one day she’d see Starry get married, too. Agh, this day was too much.

The cat’s song was done, and he traded his mic to you after you gave him a sweet bow of respect. Umiyo tried not to look at you, didn’t want to see you. It made her uneasy to look at you, considering something about you was so damn familiar. It was something in your soul, she guessed. It felt old, it felt…

You gestured to backstage and the song started with you perfectly blending into it. Once again it was in Japanese, and Umiyo swallowed her feelings. She supposed it would be interesting to talk to you, just once, and figure out what it was about you that was so… haunting.

The wedding had moved onto the next stage. The tense bubble of silence that had formed around the five had broken, and the lovers were approaching everyone. The First Hands flanked the newlyweds-- which was a good thing, as they wouldn’t look away from each other. Umiyo remarked to herself that if they weren’t being guided, they’d have run into any number of things by now.

Umiyo touched her face to find tears and cleared her throat roughly, wiping them away.

The couple were swarmed by wedding-goers shouting congratulations and commenting about OTPs or some nonsense. Umiyo walked with Starry on her heels. The couple finally broke eye contact with each other to look around.

Alphys hesitated to make eye contact with Umiyo. Celestials know why, but the reptile was intimidated by her. Umiyo offered her hand out. Alphys took a good look at Umiyo and blinked in confusion. That’s right, she remembered. She hadn’t cried in a long time. It probably looked terrible. “Guess you can call me Mom, too, punk. Thank you. For making my daughter happy.”

Alphys jittered with uncertainty but grasped Umiyo’s hand-- only to be pulled forward into an absolutely stifling hug. How the hell did she manage to crush the life out of someone with only one arm? Centuries of practice, that’s how!

Undyne tugged Starry up to hug them. Starry began bellowing about how happy they were for their “Ane”, nuzzling against Undyne’s mug as best they could. Suddenly, Undyne realized that Alphys was being crushed to death by her overly-enthusiastic mother and intervened in time for the color to return to her wife ( _wife!_ She still couldn’t believe it!).

As Umiyo pulled away, she whispered something that made Alphys turn stark white and then flush red in the span of a couple seconds. Undyne gave her mother an inquisitive look, but Alphys turned and buried her face in Undyne’s side. Undyne put Starry down and leaned to listen to the flustered reptile.

“Sh-sh… Undyne, she ask-k…...asked about g-grandkids hELP!” Undyne hoisted Alphys up and looked at her mother.

“Damn right. Eventually. That’s all you’re getting.” She said, and then returned her attention to her bride who was desperately trying to hide her face behind her precious, pudgy, chibi hands. “Let’s fucking DANCE!”

Alphys couldn’t help but giggle. She was too short for Undyne to put down to dance, so she just kinda hugged her like a plush toy and danced around with her.

At the end of the song, the cat came out onto the stage again, and the two of you spoke briefly. The cat looked unsure for some reason, but you clapped him on the back and handed him a microphone. Umiyo could faintly hear your encouragement. “Just be yourself.”

The cat smiled faintly and looked at the microphone and then out at the crowd as you grabbed your own mic. You brought it to your face. “Alright, and now… we’re going to perform a surface classic, at least in my neck of the woods.” You said, grinning. You beamed down at the couple, and they managed to look up at you. Umiyo noted that you looked unbearably happy. “Congrats, guys!”

Alphys attempted to cover her face again, and Undyne barked back in your direction, “YOU’RE NEXT, PUNK!”

You squeaked before you could move the microphone away, and sheepishly looked around, scanning the rest of the crowd. The cat beside you squeezed your shoulder. “Phantom and I will sing our last duet of the night.”

You nodded and sunk back into your stage persona. The sound of guitars picked up, starting softly, leading into something full and dark-sounding. Umiyo wasn’t sure she liked it, but you began singing. Around her, monsters paired up to dance to the slow, romantic song.

“So close, no matter how far. Couldn’t be much more from the heart. Forever trusting who we are… and nothing else matters.” Papyrus and Mettaton twirled a piece away, the two former Royal Guards (so tall and bulky they were easy to spot from afar) danced together as best they could in the back. Couples everywhere, embracing. Umiyo and Starry held to the back of the crowd, watching Alphys and Undyne dance. It was quite adorable.

The cat took the next verse, “Never opened myself this way. Life is ours, we live it our way. All these words I don’t just say… and nothing else matters.”

Together, harmonizing and overlapping, the two continued. “Trust I seek and I find in you. Every day for us, something new. Open mind for a different view… and nothing else matters.” Stronger, their voices rang out. “Never cared for what they do. Never cared for what they know… but I know.”

Again, there was something happening above and around them. Rust-shaded magic shrouded the area, and Umiyo could almost imagine ocean air. It felt thick, peaceful. Nostalgic.

At last the song was over, and you made your way to the floor from the stage as the cat set himself up for the next song. It already sounded much softer.

After you gave the newlyweds a hug, you were pointed elsewhere, and hurried off in that direction. Umiyo wondered where you had gone, but then noticed someone. How had she not noticed sooner?!

“Starry, stay out of trouble.” She said absently and wandered closer to the open bar-- where a familiar figure stood, chiseled features still as flawless as they were four hundred years ago.

“Captain Ghayth!” She hurtled around the bar and tried to crush him in a one-armed hug. He hissed with surprise, nearly dropping the cup he’d been polishing while watching the performance. “Where did you go? I haven’t seen you since…”

She paused. When _had_ she last seen him? She looked up at him (he was still so tall!) and he chuckled. “I quit the guard ages ago, Umi. I own a bar now.”

She looked around at the drinks. “Oh… that makes sense, I guess.”

“Also, I gave up my old name. I don’t want to be that person anymore. Call me Grillby, please.”

Umi nodded respectfully. “So you were that fire monster that took Undyne down, then? Makes much more sense, now.”

He chuckled. “She has heart, but she’s not nearly as stubborn as you. You should have seen the look on her face when I did the one-armed takedown on Papyrus.”

“You did?! Agh, I wish I was into this whole texting thing the kids have nowadays… Maybe I’ll ask Alphys to program Starry a phone. Maybe me too.”

“You should. It would be good to hear from you.” He looked back at the crowd. “So few of us remain.”

Umiyo nodded. “Just a handful, yeah. Gerson, Queen Toriel, Muffet… fuck, there really are too few of us.” She sagged a bit. “And I’m beginning to show my age.”

He laughed. “Not nearly as much as you think. Here, let me make you a drink.”

“Can’t. I got Starry with me. Don’t want them to see me like that.”

“Starry?”

Umiyo decided now would be a good time to give her old teacher and friend a rundown of the past seventy years they'd been apart.

 

* * *

 

“Sans! Hurry, I convinced BP to do our song after this one, and I really wanna dance to it with you.” It had taken too long to find him, but you were just relieved that he hadn’t left you there for some reason.

“our... song?”

You thought for a moment on how to explain. “Uh, well, human couples pick a song that they feel represents their relationship… and stuff, that’s about as close as I can say it.”

“you already chose one for us?”

You squeaked again. Fuck, that was a habit you did not want to form. “Uh, kinda? You had some bearing on it too? You’ll get it later, come on! I want to spend _some_ of today with you.”

He had no idea what was going on but he’d humor you. He could hunt for creepy flowers later.

The two of you made it to the enclosure full of dancing couples. The two of you drew a few looks, but you were too busy chuckling behind your hand and trying not to tip sans off. Sans followed you and stood by you as the song ended.

Burgerpants sought out your eyes and smiled. “Last song of the night before our lovely Phantom brings the ceremony to a close. Let’s have some fun, guys!” The song started up and Sans looked at you as you grinned like an ass. The cat’s voice rang out, and you and Sans were the only two in the entire room who understood just how hilarious and yet fitting it was. You sang along a bit, playfully dragging him into movement rather than letting him shuffle to the music. He grinned at you.

“We’re no strangers to love. You know the rules… and so do I. A full commitment’s what I’m thinking of. You wouldn’t get this from any other guy. I just wanna tell you how I’m feeling. Gotta make you understand.”

Sans joined in with you, both of you grinning ear to ear. Everyone around was getting into the song, too, blissfully unaware that they were being harmlessly japed. “Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down. Never gonna run around and desert you. Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye. Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.”

“you know, i think you’re right. this could be our song.” Sans said, his grin lopsided and absolutely precious. He couldn’t look away from you. You were smiling so wide, you were so damn happy, and the feeling of sharing a moment like that, especially a joke that only the two of you were in on, was just so satisfying.

You were radiant, and without trying to, he could see your soul like a damn beacon, reaching out to him. You were overflowing with magic, despite having sung so much already.

Looking at you as the two of you danced and laughed… he felt a familiar sensation. He was so proud of you, much like he was always so proud of his brother. You meant so much to him, and God, even with how much fun this was, he was just as excited to play games and just… be around you.

He wasn’t ready for the song to end, but it did end, and you winked at him. “Stick around. This is gonna be fun to watch.” You said, and made your way back to the stage. Burgerpants was applauded, and you gave him another bow and a winsome grin.

“Amazing as ever!” You praised, and he blushed even through his fur and nearly darted backstage to hang with Napstablook. He did bow to the crowd though before he did, and you clapped along with them. The open bar had closed (because Grillby was _not_ going to miss this), and everyone was gathering to see the final performance.

“Last dance of the night, and then we can mingle. I’d like to direct your attention upward at this point, if you haven’t noticed already tonight. I wouldn’t blame you. Hard to look away from those lovenerds, isn’t it?” You gestured to the newlyweds and everyone cheered and laughed good-naturedly. Undyne's signature laughter rang and she flipped you the bird playfully.

“Using my magic and the technology above you, I am going to show you the night sky, as best as I remember it!” You said, and there was a deafening silence born of excited shock. “As this is the last performance of the night, I’m gonna give it my all. Let’s all remember this night and all that it signifies. Future. Hope. Love.” You smiled at the faces in the crowd. “Let’s look to the future so that we can one day look to the skies.”

A quick motion to Blooky and the music started up, with you on its heels. “I see the lights… dance on the bay. All of the dark falls away.” With the music came emotions, memories, and focus. You were filled with Determination to do this right.

“A glow from the heights… glances along the water’s skin. Nimble and bright, swallowed in. I’m always breathless to see, growing so slowly to greet me… where I end and where she begins.” As if the magic overhead were clouds, it began to part, and your focus intensified with the chorus’s arrival. “When she shines for me at night, and her skies show green and white, she will keep us in her sight. We all lie beneath her light.”

Awed noises complemented the music as for the first time ever for some-- and for few others, the first time in literal centuries-- the moon cast it’s reflection upon the face of monsterkind. You looked up as well, smiling before rejoining the song. “Lost in the clouds… like tears in the rain. Winking along all the same. Sleeping alone, we never mind her diligence... watching us all lie awake.”

The feeling of soft breezes brought the aroma of honeysuckle and spring rains. “Just on the edge of a dream, growing so slowly to greet me… tearing it all at its seams. When she shines for me at night, and her skies show green and white, she will keep us in her sight. We all lie beneath her light!”

The music faded slightly, and you let yourself pour into the microphone, into your magic as you vocalized. The memory of sky and peace split open, and the semblance of rain, the echo of static and the weight of damp air, the faint crack of thunder as you hit the high note, eyes closed in bliss as you let your memories lead.

Into the chorus you went again, opening your eyes to enjoy the faces, the tears, the awe of your friends. The magic began to fade away with the last lingering note of song, and then attention was directed back to you on stage and a thunderous response initiated until you could feel the roar of it in your body. Behind you, Napstablook and Burgerpants came to assist you as your legs went to jelly. Sans was at your side almost immediately, as well.

“why are you crying?” Sans asked, wiping your face.

You laughed. “I didn’t know I was.” Fuck, but it felt great to do that. If the Void in your chest wasn’t so heavy, you’d want to do it again, but you were absolutely drained. Reluctantly, you let the three monsters tug you backstage where they forced water bottles and candies into your hands and praised you until you were afraid you’d be as self-absorbed as Mettaton.

“Stop it guys, come on, you guys did a lot of the work, come on!” You said, again and again, trying to divert attention onto the two possibly shyest monsters you had met. Burgerpants only ever seemed shy when his voice was in question, and at the mention of his own involvement in today’s activities, he went silent and looked away. Napstablook didn’t fade away but only because they didn’t want to leave until they were sure you were okay (and they couldn’t leave Burgerpants alone here, that would be terrible to do).

Sans held your hand, his eyes transfixed on your soul. He was mesmerized, but also… painfully curious. He wanted to dive into the depths of what made you you, he wanted to see who you were again. After all of that, he understood just how much of a treasure you were. There was still the reception to attend, you realized, and cracked the bottle of water open to drink half of it in a single go. Burgerpants rushed off to get you another one. You had people to meet, and you wanted to see more of the monster wedding traditions if you could.

You grinned at Sans and popped a candy into your mouth. “I think I did okay.” You said, and he chuckled, pulling you into a hug.

“you did great. i’m proud of you.” He said.

The Void in your chest was filled with DETERMINATION.

 

* * *

 

Umiyo almost remarked that she’d never seen the djinn look so absolutely fascinated, but she didn’t want to interrupt his attention on the stage and the sky. To be honest, she couldn’t blame him. As she looked up at the sky that she’d forgotten long ago, tinted in a strangely comforting burgundy, the rains almost tangible, the wind bringing a faintly familiar scent. It was a shock, so old that it felt like the first time ever. It was the first time she’d felt it and not taken it for granted.

This odd little human with so much Hope in them…

“Undyne sure knows how to pick her friends.” Umiyo said as you went backstage with the three monsters that practically carried you. She and Grillby went back to the open bar, where he took to spinning champagne bottles to grab attention. After that display on stage, many would definitely want a drink, whether it be to celebrate or to commemorate, who knew?

Grillby didn’t verbally respond, but he seemed pleased with her reaction. She wondered what he knew about the strange human. She wasn’t kept guessing very long, as he finally spoke. “Do you remember Pyric?”

“Pyric… Oh! The Captain before you, right?”

“He was almost the Captain. His brother died, and he was unable to put his feelings aside for the title, so I took it up.”

Umiyo nodded, but honestly didn’t remember for anything. She couldn’t even tell you what color he was.

Grillby continued. “His brother… is a lot like them.” He nodded to the stage. “Torbernite. They remind me of him so very much. It’s actually… baffling.”

“Wonder why.” Umiyo said dryly. Just what was his feeling toward you, she mused. Again, she wasn’t kept waiting. You showed up out of nowhere with the shorter skeleton-- Sans, right?-- at your side. Grillby made a ridiculous noise and practically flew over to you, lifting you in a hug.

“You were amazing, Shale, I’m so proud of you! That was beautiful!” He said, squeezing you hard enough that Umiyo believed she could hear your bones creak.

“Grillby, please, I need to breathe!” You wheezed, but were laughing even as he set you back on your feet.

“Umiyo, this is Shale.” He said excitedly, and Umiyo understood then. That was the same enthusiasm that she herself reserved for talking about her own children. She smiled. Of all the people to accept a human mage as a child… She never would have believed it would be Ghayth.

“Good to meet you. I am Umiyo, Undyne’s mother.” She would trust you. After all, Ghayth didn’t trust lightly. His judgement was once what she’d based her career off of.

You smiled widely at the aging fish monster. “Great to meet you.”

The newlyweds found them there, and the rest of the day was a blur for you and Sans, caught up in meeting everyone, playing games and chatting with people who argued over who shipped who first and so on. Umiyo and Grillby stood back, Umiyo eventually breaking down and taking a glass of hard spider cider.

“That smile though.” She remarked.

“Just like Torb.” Grillby said.

Though she couldn’t remember entirely, she thought she could recall a guard who would sing to the orphans like her on nights where he was stationed outside. She could almost imagine the moonlight glinting on his armor. Had he worn some sort of scarf? He had always encouraged the children to stay hopeful, to work for a better future. A future of peace, of love.

“He’d be proud.” She said at last.

“Yeah.” Grillby smiled. “Yeah, he would.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wonder what Flowey was there for. 
> 
> TELL ME IN THE COMMENTS HOW MUCH YOU LOVE UMIYO. She deserves some love! Also, stop by zaiyofics.tumblr.com to send Umi and Grillby some asks! They will be guarding the askbox for the next day and a half, hopefully.
> 
> ALSO! THERE ARE SOME THINGS I NEED TO SHOW YOU!
> 
> If you're not done crying yet, I have a small thing I wrote just a while ago. A One-Shot explaining my take on Chara. Because I WANT TO HUG THE MURDER CHILD AND NOW YOU WILL TOO!  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/7718329
> 
> I posted the first chapter of Fell-Searcher, which turned out a lot more fun than I originally thought. It will eventually have a LOT of heavy sexual themes, but anything beyond flirting will be skippable with an explanation in the ending notes.  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/7699030
> 
> I FINALLY STARTED SICT (Someone I Can Trust, the prequel story of Grillster and war and SO MANY TRAGIC CHARACTERS!)  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/7632154
> 
> And for those of you who love Bitties, since the last chapter of this, I updated AI3 (Always In Threes).  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/7074856/chapters/17244856
> 
> AND NOW!!!!! FOR A FINAL READER'S CHOICE!
> 
> Okay, so I have intentions of doing another DND episode. i've been compiling notes for it for a while. SO IF YOU WANT THAT, IT CAN HAPPEN NOW. However...
> 
> I'm stuck between wanting ONE MORE CHAPTER of fluff, and wanting to get on with the FINAL PART OF THE STORY.
> 
> Pros of One More Fluff:  
> Skippable Smut Scene, minor development of Reader character, DND (Paps and Mettaton will co-DM, with Shale and Grillby joining in as players).
> 
> Pros of Getting The Hell On With It:  
> The FUCKING SEQUEL (which is a Grillby/Reader fic, but will also have A LOT to do with Shale and Sans adjusting to surface life. Trust me, it's gonna be hilarious and great and MASSIVE).
> 
> Basically, what I want to know, is should I post the DND episode as a shitpost episode and just get on with the story, or should I add this one last (probably long as hell) fluff chapter before going on and DESTROYING YOUR FEELS LIKE A BOSS.  
> Tell me in the comments, lovelies!~


	35. Forget the Stranglehold of Fate for a Moment. Let's Get Drunk.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone plays DND again, and it's terrible.  
> Gaster Blasters cameo, and it's adorable.  
> Mettaton loses his will to live, and it's hilarious.
> 
> and stuff.
> 
> Also, the Song of Past Pain is done! You can find it on Soundcloud, right here!: https://soundcloud.com/raven-zaphara/song-of-past-pain  
> It's not amazing, but it's the first thing I've ever written.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is. the longest and worst chapter i've ever. in my life. written. I have been working on it for close to two months. That's insane. And I am deeply sorry it took so long.
> 
> Big thanks to YuubiTimberwolf for the inspiration for my favorite part of this chapter. You rock, friend. Thank you for making this chapter so much fun to write with that idea.
> 
> Also, big thanks to everyone who participated in the Choice! I hope that the sheer amount of fluff and feels in this chapter can make up for how long it's taken me to write it. 
> 
> Trigger warnings for: intense drunken mischief, gore, violence, graffiti, and ooc things because i wrote the VAST MAJORITY of this chapter while either drunk or exhausted. (i have been working 58 hr weeks and now that i actually have more than one day off a week, i can ACTUALLY POST THINGS!) There are references to sexual situations, but nothing actually happens in this chapter.

“shale, get up.” Sans gently prodded your back.

“Five more minutes.” You grumbled.

“HUMAN!” You fell off the mattress from fright. “WE MUST GO TO THE LAB FOR DUNGEONEERING WITH DRAGONS!”

Fuck, you’d forgotten all about that. Sans helped pull you from the floor, his hands lingering on your hips, his smile warm as he put his forehead to yours. “tried to warn you.” He said softly.

You chuckled and pushed away from him reluctantly. You had spent the night with the brothers after the wedding. You really didn’t know what to think of Sans, sometimes. He loved to cuddle, but never made a move to do more and… your mind kept drifting back to your half-hazed memories of the bachelor party.

There was a time and place for everything, you resolved. You could talk later.

You actually didn't know how to handle it, if you were honest. Some part of you, the cynical part, was convinced that the sweetness, the adoration, the gentleness between you would fall away and leave nothing but sickness and torment again. You were legitimately terrified that Sans would grow to hate you.

You focused on getting dressed for the day and looking about for your phone. Regardless of your fears, there was no reason to make anyone worry about you. No, you would be a healthy adult and consider it over booze and companionship, locked in a game of D&D.

You made yourself smile and followed Sans out of the room to walk with Papyrus to the lab. Upon leaving the house, you noticed Grillby waiting for the three of you. You smiled warmly at him.

"Do you need help carrying all of that?" You offered, impressed with the sheer amount of alcohol he was toting. For the first time since training with him you remembered that Grillby was much stronger (and perhaps scarier) than he let on.

He shook his head but Papyrus took an entire crate by force, carrying it atop his shoulder and allowing Grillby to focus on the one remaining. The four of you walked to where the River Person stood passively.

Grillby went first, and then Papyrus. You and Sans exchanged glances and he offered to take a shortcut. You quickly agreed. You honestly didn't want to tempt any snide prophecies from Gaster’s echo.

"Tra-la-laaa get on the damn boat." The hoarse whisper demanded and you both froze, exchanged a sheepish glance, and climbed aboard.

"what do you want?" Sans asked, trying not to sound as absolutely aggravated as he was.

"Perhaps I thought it prudent to remind you that there is a lot riding on our continued interaction. Can I expect you to stop by tomorrow when you’re both sober?"

Again the two of you exchanged glances. “I’m sorry we… neglected that, but…” You tried to explain.

“c’mon, g. give us a break, okay? first wedding in like, ten years. that’s something to celebrate, isn’t it?” Sans helped, and you laced your fingers with his and squeezed.

A hoarse growl sounded from the hood. “That’s fine and dandy, but what happens if it all goes to hell and resets? Or worse, if everything just ends altogether? We have too much hinging on your actions right now. After today, I _demand_ your presence.” The River Person sounded hesitant as they continued. “Asriel has been setting his pieces lately. The game is winding to a close. I can’t see what I don’t understand, but… I thought I understood him.”

The ride was almost over, and you hesitated. “What do you mean? What’s wrong?”

“Something is keeping me from seeing how our plan unfolds. Either I was wrong about Asriel… or there’s something about him I’m not taking into account. I need you to contact Blue and learn that at least.”

You nodded and got off the boat as quickly as you could, dragging Sans after you. “Got it, bye.” You didn’t waste time, didn’t bother listening for parting advice. You liked the River Person more when they were cryptic and spoke only in a few short lines.

Somehow, they were even creepier as the “echo” of your boyfriend’s father.

“you ok, shale?” Sans asked, keeping step with you as you briskly walked through Hotland, pursuing Papyrus and Grillby.

“...Yeah?” You weren’t really sure, honestly, but you would be. You just didn’t want to think about it too much. It was just another thing you could drink away for a few hours. Sure, it would still be there in the morning, but until then you were hoping you could at least pretend to be relatively normal without the responsibility of reality’s nigh-inevitable death on your shoulders.

The walk was quiet and thankfully quick. Alphys, Undyne, Mettaton, and Toriel were already there, talking animatedly. Muffet was there, too, you noted. She flew forward to try to relieve Grillby of his burden, only to instead direct him and Papyrus on where to put the massive amount of alcohol. Papyrus and Grillby joined the huddle. Mettaton walked Grillby through character creation while Papyrus studied Mettaton’s notes and _Nyeh_ -ed appreciatively over them.

Muffet approached you and Sans, standing in front of you expectantly. “Oh!” You said at last and elbowed Sans. “I need to change so she can do measurements.”

He shrugged. “i wanna see you try it by yourself, if you can.” He said, and it was only partially because he wanted to see you use his magic again. “i’ll help out if you need it.” He added, sensing your unease. Muffet looked between the two of you curiously before you began focusing your magic. Well, ‘your’ magic as in the both of yours.

Your face began to morph faintly. You were having an easier time of it this time. Sans was still shocked at the strangeness of seeing your face change like that, but he was also stricken with intense pride.

Muffet let out a squeak as she looked between the two of you again, her grin wide and absolutely ecstatic. “Oh, Stars!” She turned to the others and began hopping excitedly. “We’re gonna have another wedding!”

Grillby held his hand out and Undyne stuck a small amount of gold in his hand, disgruntled.

“Hold up!” You cried out, but that only drew attention to your face and everyone but Alphys adjusted to the shock. Everyone understood exactly what the implications of your partially skeletal countenance were.

Grillby flared startlingly brighter for a moment and his face split into a visible grin, a line of white-hot sparks showing just how truly overjoyed he was. Undyne looked confused, then she cried out “BADASS!”

Papyrus had the largest eyes, jaw almost detached from shock. Mettaton looked terrified and then… gave you the most hilariously smug look as if to say “I told you so.”

Sans grinned at you now, the pride so very apparent on his face and you felt how happy he was. You were blushing-- well, the cheek that wasn’t transparent was blushing-- and he chuckled. “c’mon shale, we’re halfway to getting the disguise up.”

“Can I see what everyone else is so freaked out about first?” You asked sourly. Muffet hurriedly produced a mirror and held it up to you. You stared for a moment. “Welp…” You and Sans exchanged glances. You cleared your throat and handed the mirror back to Muffet. “Makes… a bit of sense?”

He nodded but noticed you looked a bit haunted. “shale.” You looked up and he grinned. “are you full of beryllium, gold, and titanium?” You blinked at him, your blue eye flashing brighter for a moment. “because you are **be-au-ti** -full.”

You shook your head and tried not to smile, failing.

“swear i’m not just aiming for a **reaction** here.” He said.

You bit your cheek to keep from snickering.

“shale, i found a good new exercise. it’s a cross between a lunge and a crunch. i call it **lunch**.”

You tried your damnedest to not snort. Your attempt fell short.

“you’ve been a terrible influence on me shale. i used to do like… five sit-ups each morning. may not sound like much but there’s only so many times you can hit the snooze button, yknow?”

You pushed him gently on the shoulder, finally letting yourself laugh and his eyes lit up a bit brighter. The more he saw you like this, the more he felt it was right. You were so much more than the person who had fallen down months ago.

The more of you he saw the more convinced he was that just like he wasn’t entirely a monster, you weren’t entirely a human.

As the two of you worked together, the magic melding with a solidity that put previous times to shame, he became aware that it wasn’t just your intentions that shaped your form. It was something in your soul. It was something about you.

He realized that there was so much about you he didn’t know. There were things about you that maybe _you_ didn’t even know… and the realization brought him a very odd sense of peace.

Neither of you knew yourselves, but you could figure it out together. You could help each other. The world you could open to each other was just waiting. With that peace was a feeling of excitement.

He couldn’t imagine growing like that with anyone else.

Muffet swept you aside. “Hey, wait, can I put on some music or something while you do this?” You asked, and she nodded.

“I’d love to hear some of your surface music, even more so if you can sing along with it.”

“Muffet please.” You were blushing, your scales turning a shocking burgundy, much to everyone else’s delight.

It took a minute to type with your claws and such, but you eventually managed. Sans stood beside you and observed the name on the screen. Alanis Morissette. "who’s that?" He asked.

"My childhood." You responded. "My mom and I used to listen to this all the time. It brings back good memories, makes me… feel secure." An odd expression crossed your face as you clicked on one of the search results.

Sans nodded. You certainly did appear to need the comfort of simpler times right now. As the [first notes](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLHvb9V8Yzs) played, a look of bliss overtook your face and you sighed before humming along.

You sang the song to Muffet, making her crack up at the odd prose in the lyrics.

Sans began thinking about the song from the old cds in his lab. One of them you’d really enjoyed and, as he thought more about it…

"SANS! QUIT BOONDOGGLING AND GET OVER HERE! THE HUMAN-- ERR…" Papyrus looked at you for a moment and shuffled nervously. "SHALE. SHALE AND MUFFET CAN HANDLE WHATEVER IT IS THEY’RE DOING WITHOUT YOUR SUPERVISION."

Well, you conceded, you were hardly human in this form. Before you could think much further into it, though, Muffet smacked your behind playfully. "Go on, Songbird. I have my measurements. I’ll be back in a couple hours to fit you, mostly for wing accommodations. It’s… been awhile since I had to allot for wings."

You nodded and let the magic unravel. It would be easier to sit down in the chair without a tail and wings getting in the way.

You followed Sans to the table, leaving the music to turn itself off. You sat between Sans and Grillby at the table. Undyne, Alphys, and Toriel sat across from you. At the head of the table, Mettaton and Papyrus were studying notes and talking in a hushed whisper.

Well, _Mettaton_ was speaking in a hushed whisper. Papyrus mostly nodded and otherwise tried to communicate without speaking loudly or in his normal voice. Considering that he sounded so much like his father, you were relieved. If it was disorienting for you and Sans, you could only imagine how hearing what sounded so much like Gaster’s voice would do to Grillby.

You turned to the amiable fire monster to find him still grinning proudly at you. “You sure look pleased.” You remarked.

He passed you a bottle of alcohol. “The two of you have made my year.”

“We’re… not planning a wedding yet.” You said, just in case he’d taken that seriously.

He nodded, chuckling softly, grabbing another bottle and cracking it open eagerly. “In any case, it is a good thing. Whether you see it or not, this is a good thing. A very, very good match.” As you watched, he poured the alcohol into a tumbler and threw it back, his face turning purple for a moment as the liquid hit. You wondered briefly why it didn’t combust… But you assumed it had to do with magic, so you didn’t ask.

Eyepatches were passed around and Mettaton took the crystal ball from last time. He and Papyrus exchanged glances and nodded to each other before they began worldbuilding. You admitted that it would be much easier to make a functioning world with more than one person working on it-- especially considering Mettaton seemed sober.

You turned back to Grillby once your eyepatch was on and asked, “So, tell me about your character.”

Mettaton laughed. “Please do, Grillby darling. Since that’s important for the two of you to work out.”

Grillby chuckled and cleared his throat after throwing back another shot. “In the previous adventure, your character didn’t fully come into play, so we are taking a few liberties. You are a dragonborn dragoon, yes?”

You nodded. “Yeah? I mean, I’m more of a scald, really, but...” How did he know when the previous campaign ended? Oh! You remembered now. Alphys had livestreamed it. That must have been fun to watch. Wait-- did that mean--

“Wait, guys… are there cameras running?” You asked dismally. Alphys blinked at you quizzically. “Are we livestreaming this?”

Alphys pointed to a camera that was pointed at the table. “I-I only st-started it just a few minutes ago, B-Birdy.”

You sighed in relief. You weren’t sure what would have been more upsetting: The effect of your bond being publicly announced, or being entirely dragon-naked on camera… but, considering how the Undernet was flooded with tags of #ShowShale’sShlong, you wouldn’t have been surprised. It probably would have disappointed quite a few people to see you hadn’t summoned one.

You looked at the camera and took a deep breath. You resolved to just be yourself. Everyone seemed to like you anyway, having seen you drunk before. If they had indeed seen the last campaign, they knew more about you than you would usually think prudent-- but your status as an Undernet celebrity had ceased to bother you anyway. It was just a little disorienting, though.

You cracked your bottle open and took a hearty gulp of it. “Sorry for interrupting you, Grillby. Tell me about your character.”

“It is of no consequence, Shale. My story is that I am a human brawler with lycanthropy and anger management problems. My temper and transformations are tethered inextricably.” He waited for you to nod before continuing. “The story I’d propose for us being associated is that our characters work together as a two-person operation, so to speak. Does that sound appealing?”

You nodded. “Works for me. Just remember I’m a humanoid confinement of a green elder dragon. So I’m bound to have some attitude and ego problems.”

He made an inelegant noise that was almost drowned out by the fwoosh of the alcohol he sloshed onto his face accidentally. “So not inherently different from your true personification.”

You and Sans exchanged glances but Mettaton and Papyrus called for attention. The world in the eyepatch swirled to life in a flair of magic, astounding you. “We left off previously with our Dragon bossfight just beyond a door, yes?”

You refused to look at Sans. “Close enough.”

“okay, okay, so what you’re saying is that behind this door, shale is waiting for us, to fight and probably kill us, since i definitely did not seduce them last time.”

Mettaton and Papyrus exchanged glances yet again. “That is correct.” Mettaton said.

“i knock on the door.”

Mettaton sighed. “You hear a dragonborn say ‘Go away!’”

“pizza delivery!” Sans responded and you gave him a look.

“What’s a pizza?” You asked, trying to be in character.

In the eyepatch, you saw Sans grapple Alphys in her cat-shifter form and use her as a battering ram on the door. “a piece a’ this **pussy**!” he cried out. Toriel snorted her wine and coughed, sputtering with laughter as Alphys blushed and banged her head on the table. Undyne brayed laughter.

“We’re off to a lovely start.” You muttered, face-palming.

Papyrus cleared his throat. “AS YOU PEER INTO THE DARKNESS BEYOND THE DOOR, A WINGED CREATURE COMES INTO VIEW, SEATED UPON A THRONE OF BONES…”

Sans winked at you, as you became aware it was your character on the throne. “are they single?”

Grillby passed a bottle to Sans. “Please be quiet so my character can come into play soon.” Obediently, Sans cracked open his own bottle and drunk from it.

Toriel shook her head. “Sans, you are such a banana.” She still sounded hoarse from having inhaled half of the wine in her glass.

He shrugged. “how is that an insult?”

“I am calling you a dick in fruit language.” You managed to not choke to death on your drink this time, but you resolved to not drink if anyone opened their mouth tonight.

“ANYWAY!” Papyrus interrupted the tittering by pointing at you.

Mettaton continued. “Bear with us, dear Phantom, as we have it planned out how this will go, okay?”

You nodded and then watched Mettaton get into character as you. “I will give you two options-- and before the loud, obnoxious half-orc with the outrageous eyebrows speaks again, neither of those options are seduction.”

“boo.” Sans protested around the neck of the bottle. "i came out to have a good time and i'm honestly feeling so attacked right now."

He was ignored. “My associate has been captured and is being tortured as we speak and I require the assistance of a party of adventurers to retrieve him. There will indeed be a reward, as well as my presence in your party. I can…” He hesitated before thrusting himself back into character. “I can fuck shit up… as it were.”

You tried to stifle your laughter. Honestly, you did. As luck would have it, you sneezed half-way through laughing, making everyone look at you worriedly as you tried to stop laughing in preparation for another potential sneeze. There might have been some mild flailing.

“Gesundheit.” Mettaton chimed absently.

“GIRLS IN TIGHTS?” Papyrus asked, having misheard Mettaton.

Sans put his head in his hands. “boys in tights.”

You snorted and damn-near choked on your laughter. But at least you didn’t sneeze again.

Mettaton groaned in despair. “It’s a human phrase used when someone sneezes. It was programmed into my codex! FOCUS EVERYONE!”

And no one was even drunk yet, you mused.

Finally, Mettaton began again. “Do we have a deal? We go West, retrieve my associate, Ifrit, and from there we can discuss rewards.”

Dismissally, everyone agreed. Sans grabbed his pherem and began [strumming](https://youtu.be/z48NmdWbquw). “well the years start coming and they don’t stop coming and they don’t stop coming and they don’t stop coming and they don’t stop coming and they don’t stop coming and they don’t stop co--.”

“I swear to Ditty, Sans, I will kill you.” You growled at him.

“there is no sans, there is only uthgrob.”

Undyne’s character took Alphys and Toriel and they began walking, exploring the world deeper inside this area everyone was in.

“ARE YOU DONE YET?!” Papyrus asked you and Sans.

“gimme a minute, paps.” Sans said.

Alphys’s voice reached from deeper into the cavern. “HOW MUCH IS THIS BRIDGE WORTH?!”

Curious, you and Sans followed the others, discovering a bridge made entirely of ivory. “I know this is supposed to be my lair and all, but this is a bit too extravagant.” You said.

Undyne pointed at the bridge. “Is this our reward for the quest?”

You stared at her. “Sure.” You said bitingly. “Have the bridge. Where the fuck are you going to put it?”

“I WILL SUPLEX THIS BASTARD!” She answered, flexing her robot muscles.

Sans pointed the way everyone had come. “onwards! to the plot!”

Mettaton cut in. “The plot is the other way, dipshit.”

“uhh, rude. could you call me something other than dipshit, maybe?”

“Like what?” Mettaton challenged.

You chimed in before anyone else could. “HOW ABOUT SUNRISE LAND~!” and then you burst into hysterical laughter as everyone else looked on in confusion. You got up and pulled youtube up, showed them [History of Japan](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mh5LY4Mz15o), to which Undyne and Alphys happily became absorbed and the rest of you laughed your asses off.

“You saw the chance and you took it. I respect that, Phantom darling.” Mettaton said.

“for the record, shale can call me whatever, because dragons are my aesthetic. you will refer to me as uthgrob, tormentor of sphincters.”

There was a nigh-deafening silence before Toriel began snickering into her wine cup.

“tough crowd tonight.” Sans remarked dejectedly.

“Anyway, proceed across the ivory bridge and into the depths. The prison where Ifrit is being held lies in wait of you.”

“So we’re spending this part of the campaign inside a mountainous lair?” Undyne asked sourly.

“SMALL REMINDER THAT NEITHER METTATON NOR MYSELF HAVE SEEN THE SURFACE. RATHER THAN TRY TO PRODUCE A LACKLUSTER PARODY OF A WORLD WE HAVE NEVER SEEN, WE DECIDED TO, AT LEAST FOR NOW, WORK WITH WHAT WE KNOW CAN EXIST.” Papyrus spoke up, and you smiled, but in the virtual reality portion, you were aware of Grillby testing his own matters.

“Go on, darling. Your area of the map can be outside.” Mettaton encouraged. “We’ll get there soon enough, I promise.”

Toriel began to focus, too. She and Grillby were making valleys of tall grass, a lake in the basin of the fields, mountains in the distance, stark treelines-- and a tall, scathing structure that she looked at with tears in her eyes. “I hadn’t thought to do this last time.” She admitted.

Grillby looked on, seeming wistful as well.

“What is this?” You asked hesitantly, and the others mirrored your confusion, so you felt slightly better about not knowing what you were looking at.

“Foothold.” Grillby said, and you noted the expression of pain return briefly. Toriel let the visual drop with a sigh. “It wasn’t nearly so tall as that, Princess. You were just exceedingly small.”

Grillby realized he’d referred to the queen as a princess almost immediately and went to apologize, but Toriel was laughing. She wiped a tear away from her eye and looked down. “Let’s… continue the campaign, yes?”

Mettaton and Papyrus exchanged glances. “If the three of you would like to work together to form the world around you, we can focus on the story and characters.”

You and Grillby nodded to each other, and Toriel nodded but didn’t look up. You wondered if she was wishing Asgore was here to see it too, or if it was something you wouldn’t know or understand.

And was it your imagination or did Toriel try to avoid looking at your character?

Now that the party was no longer confined to underground scenery, your group set off in search of your mysterious affiliate. Undyne had a very intense and anime-like moment where she spouted off some strange seven-minute pep-talk that had Alphys in tears and Mettaton checking his nails.

She finally stopped talking for a moment. “Alright, are we all good now?” She asked.

“hahahah, no.” Sans said sourly and began strumming on his pherem again.

Mettaton took this moment to allude to the fact that the group has been wandering this path in the forest for a few hours now. Papyrus then blurted that the fog all around the group smells terrible-- mostly because of spores from hallucinatory mushrooms.

Everyone rolled to see if they were high yet-- and Sans was the only one who rolled low. Uthgrob knocked on his pot-helmet and smiled at the others. “it makes sense, right?”

Your character smacked the shit out of him for a laugh and the pot went flying. Sans dove after it-- and another failed roll later, he was stuck in the ground. His head was literally immersed in the ground.

“YOU FIND A COLONY OF UNDERGROUND MOLES.” Papyrus said.

From under the ground, the rest of the party heard Sans cry out. “mole people!!!” You all exchanged glances and you considered pulling him out or just telling the others to just leave him there. Sans spoke to Mettaton and Papyrus now. “i want to convince them to be _my_ people.”

Mettaton crossed his arms, clearly not pleased with the idea. “Roll cunning.”

It was the first roll he hadn’t failed so far, and he roared with laughter. Under the ground, muffled, you all heard Uthgrob shriek. “mole people!!! _serve me_!!!”

“HALF OF THE MOLES DECIDE TO LEAVE THEIR HOMES AND FOLLOW YOU.”

“Let’s pull him up guys.” You said, and grabbed his legs. While you tugged, he screamed into the earth. “yesssssss, my expendable slaves!” He flailed in your grip and you bit his leg in protest-- but you failed to damage him. “i will create an army!”

At last when the group emerged from the stoner forest, there loomed a fortress with armed guards. Mettaton spoke for your character. “That is where Ifrit is.”

Sans (and resultingly, Uthgrob) winked at you and said, “lemme handle this.” The moles followed on his heels. You wanted to compare him to the pied piper for a second, but the pherem was hardly a wind instrument. “pardon me, unintelligent-looking npc guards, but i couldn’t help but notice how bored you look. allow me to play you the song of my people.”

You cringed already, and the moles began to dance as he played the pherem. [Wait](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5NtJDHtrwY)… “everybody knows shit _fuck_!” And of course, he rolled his first critical success of the night.

You tried your damnedest not to laugh again, but luckily everyone managed to use the diversion to their advantage. When the rest of you got in, all the armed guards had put down their weapons to keep time with their hands.

Inside the fortress was a single guard who woke up from his nap to see your group. “Let me guess. You’re here to free someone from the prison?” He smirked. “Well, I can get him out for you if you’re willing to grease my palm. You know what I mean?”

Toriel cracked her knuckles and stepped forward. “I certainly am capable of this!” She said-- and then, to Mettaton and Papyrus, “I cast the spell Grease on just his hands.”

“THE GUARD IS DISGUSTED AND UPSET. UNDERSTANDABLY SO. YOU CRETIN.”

The guard looked at Toriel in a way that you could only describe as 1000% done. “That… was not what I meant.”

Undyne reached forward and grabbed the guard by the collar of his shirt, lifting him from his feet. She stared up at him as she raised him high above her head. “We will get Ifrit NOW or you will get my shiny metal arm up your ass and I’ll use you as a weapon!”

“He certainly looks a bit like that troll.” You admitted with a snort.

Undyne succeeded in her intimidation check, and so she dropped the guy back into his chair and the group proceeded forward, with you in the lead. Mettaton gave you directions, and very soon, you found the cell with some _very_ dismantled furniture in it and a _very_ naked human sitting in the corner.

“Ifrit?” You asked, and he looked up. To Mettaton, you spoke. “How sturdy are these bars? Can I or Undyne break them?”

Alphys raised her hand. “I c-can lockpick!” Alphys rolled a critical failure and her lockpicks shattered on contact with the lock.

Toriel came to the door and threw her hands at it. “OPEN SESAME!” She cried out.

“Roll intimidate check, your highness.” Mettaton said-- and facepalmed when she rolled a crit success. “The door obeys you. Congratulations.”

Ifrit crawled out of the room, and you stooped to inspect him. “Hey, Undyne, could you use healing touch or something? Don’t paladins have that?”

“GRILLBY, JUST TRANSFORM AND WE’LL RESTORE YOUR HEALTH.”

“Bark,” Grillby said.

“Has he been a wolf this entire time?” Alphys asked, pointing at Ifrit as the large, _large_ wolf emerged fully from the cell.

“Let’s pretend he has.” You said and everyone began walking out. “Oh look, it’s that guard again. I roll to Nut Tap him.”

“WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?” Papyrus asked.

“I’m going to punch him in the groin as I pass. It will cause immense pain but not damage him really.”

“Roll for it.” Mettaton said. You failed. “Nice.” He laughed into his fist. Your character walked past him, Toriel at your back.

Undyne grinned. “I roll to Nut Tap him!” She rolled, too. And failed as well.

“Nice.” Mettaton smirked as Undyne growled and followed you out, Alphys in tow.

Grillby stalked to the guard. “I roll to chomp his nuts.” And before anyone could object, he rolled a crit success.

Mettaton covered his mouth but spoke through his hand. “You bit his groin clean off. He bleeds out and dies within moments.”

Toriel let out a shriek of horror.

Grillby spoke impassively. “I take his shoes and gold.”

“Ho-ho-hooooly shit.” You said. “Lemme hang onto those for you, bud.”

Sans rejoined the party now, moles sitting on his shoulders. “please don’t bite my crotch off. i need it.” He winked at your character.

“In some weird alternate universe, maybe. But no.”

Alphys leaned to Undyne. “I soooo ship it.”

You pointed at them. “Not this time, guys. It’s just to make things funnier, ok?”

Sans shrugged and grinned at you devilishly. “may i take it as a challenge?”

“For the sake of comedy, yes.”

Ifrit changed back into a human and walked around shamelessly naked. Everyone avoided the elephant in the room and decided it might be wise to get him some clothes. He nodded and produced a knife. He must have taken it from Alphys as she pointedly stared anywhere but at his marvelous buttocks. Or Toriel, or anyone for that matter. Everyone was so focused on not oogling him that he could have taken literally anything and no one would have said anything.

On the outskirts of the fortress the party had left, there were a few small farms. Ifrit disappeared into one of the houses and came out shortly afterward, clothed. “That was quick, how’d you manage to--?”

“The farmer was asleep and woke up to my threatening to cut his member off if he didn’t give me his pants.”

“Sweet Jesus!” You laughed, and everyone just stared at Grillby.

Mettaton shrugged gracefully. “Honestly, he didn’t even need to roll for it. That was frightening and I don’t believe he could have messed that up even with a crit fail.”

Now that Ifrit had covered himself, the conversation turned to food. Grillby’s character had been deprived of food for close to a week, and Mettaton and Papyrus pointed out that the rest of you had very limited rations as well.

Alphys, being a ranger, went in search of small game. Toriel and Undyne went to forage for berries and perhaps non-hallucinogenic mushrooms (though Uthgrob certainly suggested them). You and Uthgrob attempted to work together in building a fire, but you quickly grew weary of his fire-based flirting-puns.

Before you could murder him, Ifrit reappeared-- where had he gone?!-- with a large loaf of crunchy bread. Perhaps slightly too crunchy, but who was going to be picky?

The rest of the party returned to you threatening to ram the spit up Uthgrob’s ass and roast him over the fire if he didn’t shut up. Undyne offered to help, considering she was seemingly good at giving impromptu colonoscopies with her shiny robot arm.

Alphys provided a rabbit and Toriel had discovered a plethora of berries and herbs. Everyone sat down around the fire you finally managed to light as Sans’s character stuck to sitting around and messing around with his pherem. Once or twice you thought you recognized the songs he was playing, but he changed them quickly enough that you couldn’t call him out.

“Where did the bread come from?” Alphys asked, taking a decent chomp of it.

“Oh, the farmer from before. I went back to grab something to contribute and he got in the way.”

“So…” Undyne stared at Ifrit for a moment, and Toriel stared at her own chunk of the bread with horrified eyes. “You killed him?”

Ifrit shrugged. “Yeah, why not.”

Toriel whimpered. “This is bloodstained bread.”

You took a bite of yours. “It’s burned.” you commented, not really bothered by the situation.

Again the queen spoke. “This is burned, bloodstained bread.”

Sans grabbed his piece and studied it. Through a mouthful, he said, “there’s no blood on it.”

“Metaphorically bloodstained, burned bread!” She cried out.

Alphys cleared her throat. “W-would this be a bad time to mention I’m allergic to wheat?”

Undyne pulled Alphys’s character onto her lap and snuggled her. “I’ll protect you from the wheat.”

“I… already ate it though.”

Toriel pointed at you and Ifrit, her ire apparent. “This is all your fault!”

You huffed in aggravation. “What did _I_ do?!”

Sans piped up, “tori are you gonna eat that bread?”

Mettaton cut in. “Okay, you guys are getting into character marvelously, I really must say, but could we… I don't know… _not_ kill each other?”

Toriel crossed her arms. “My character proposes a split in the party! Alphys, Undyne, and I will go on our separate way.”

Papyrus and Mettaton exchanged glances. “THAT IS CERTAINLY A THING THAT CAN HAPPEN, SINCE THERE ARE TWO OF US.”

Mettaton nodded. “It might be easier this way.”

“Wait, why are we stuck with Sans, though?” You asked jokingly.

“aww, c’mon shale, you know you’d just die without me serenading you throughout the night.”

Ifrit stood, finishing off the last of his bread callously. “I propose we take to the forests. Let them keep to the roads, we will certainly be safer with cover in any case.”

Toriel, Alphys, and Undyne had already left and you looked at Ifrit warily. “Are we being followed or something? Are you anticipating an attack? Why do we need cover?”

He looked startled. “Forgive me, I’ve been held captive for quite a while.”

You, Sans, and Grillby were walking through the forest with a nearly surprising level of cooperative silence. Before too long, though, from above came a terrible noise followed by-- “WHAT JUST HAPPENED!” You cried out.

Ifrit looked at the puddle of flesh and body parts. “It appears a wounded, screaming elf has met his end here, as he exploded on impact.”

“What the shit?!” You looked up to see the other half of the party astride falcons, being escorted to the capital city under the guise of a member of the royal family. “You’ve gotta be fucking with me.”

Sans managed to find a hand that was still mostly intact and poked you with it. “i think you need a **hand** in processing that.”

You stifled a giggle and smacked him in the head. Ifrit led the way deeper into the forest. “We have much ground to cover, and I have a feeling-- what did you call it?-- the plot will thicken soon.”

Mettaton chuckled and eyed Grillby cheekily.

You ended up climbing a tree to see if there was anything around for miles. Sans chuckled. “what is it with you and trees?”

“Shut up.” You said playfully.

“The winds are quite fierce and the tree is rocking. Roll, please.” You rolled and cursed aloud. Crit fail. Mettaton chuckled delightedly. “You would have been able to hold on better if you didn’t have your one-handed crossbow in hand.”

You laughed. “But then I couldn’t shoot any large falcons!”

“Roll again, Phantom.”

You laughed and facepalmed. “I’m going to die, aren’t I?” Another crit fail.

“Don’t give me ideas, darling.” He winked. “Hmm, something went through your mind and your finger slipped. You shot yourself in the knee.”

“STILL AN ADVENTURER!” You cried out. No one else got it, but you didn’t care enough to explain at this point. Too much alcohol.

Ifrit climbed the tree to help you down, and Sans took his moment to shine when you were on solid ground again. “o beautiful draconic creature, what happened to you?”

You stared deadpan at him. “Well, I thought about the both of us kissing.”

He grinned. “and?”

“The thought was so disgusting that I had to shoot myself to snap out of it.”

Everyone took a moment to laugh their ass off, including Sans. Warmly, outside of the game, you smiled at him. Acting was all fun and good, but you wanted to make sure he knew that’s all it was. From the look he gave you, he understood pretty well. “you know, orc customs would call that a proposal.”

Mettaton cleared his throat. “Not necessarily, you dolt.”

From the other side of the table, you saw Papyrus holding his head.

Alphys looked over at you. “B-Birdy! I got a pet hedgehog! Watch this!” To the tiny creature, she spoke. “Roll over.”

Papyrus intoned, “THE HEDGEHOG ROLLS OVER. IT’S ADORABLE.”

“Stay!” She said and took a few steps away. It stayed where it was. “Heel!” She commanded.

“THE HEDGEHOG HEALS YOU FOR 5 HP.”

Alphys stared at the tiny hedgehog. Undyne whistled. “Holy shit, Alphy.”

You were brought back to your own corner of the world by Ifrit and Sans talking. At last, Grillby growled and Ifrit snatched the pherem away from Sans. “You’re holding it wrong! I taught you better that this!”

You stared at the guys and then it sunk in. “Wait, Sans can actually play a pherem?”

Grillby sighed in aggravation. “I did my best but it seems he’s forgotten. How many times have you practiced in the past seven years?”

“uhhh…”

“Don’t answer me.” He amended testily. “ _This_ is how it should be played.” He said, and took it into his lap. Everyone fell silent and listened as Ifrit played a song you’d never heard before. It sounded like dreaming, like falling, but not wanting to catch yourself. It felt like that hazy moment on Love Day when you and Sans had kissed the first time, or the multitude of times before that when you’d come close.

Sans grumbled to himself. “showoff.”

“I have had, quite literally, centuries of practice. I quit playing for roughly three hundred years, and _still_ I can play.” He paused his strumming and then reapplied it. “Though I must admit my selection is limited to what I remember and what I can create. I was never much for creating. That was…” He sighed. “Actually more of Pyric’s knack. Pyric taught me.”

“One of your war buddies?” You asked.

He nodded and handed the pherem back to Sans’s character.

From across the table, you heard Papyrus groan in despair. “MY EXPECTATION WAS THAT THIS GAME WAS A HIGH FANTASY ROLEPLAYING GAME WHERE YOU CAN BE ANYTHING YOUR HEART DESIRES, GO WHERE YOU PLEASE, BATTLE DRAGONS AND NECROMANCERS, SAVE KINGDOMS AND FORGE ALLIANCES! THE ONLY LIMIT IS YOUR IMAGINATION-- BUT THE REALITY IS YOU HAVE ROLLED TO PET THE HEDGEHOG FOR LITERALLY THE FIFTEENTH TIME!”

“Shale.” Ifrit tapped your character’s arm. “Someone approaches.”

Uthgrob strummed experimentally on his pherem, playing a tense tune as a large potential enemy waded through the brush and closer to view.

“Hold on.” Mettaton groaned. “I’m stuck. I made a mistake.”

Papyrus let out an ungodly shriek of laughter and excused himself to help Mettaton out. “YOU MUST MOVE THIS WAY. WHY ARE YOU WEARING HEELS? THEY ARE IMPRACTICAL ON THIS RACE!”

“Look at those _legs_ though!” Mettaton protested.

Sans looked at you and Grillby. “So… do our characters hear any of this or…”

"YOU CAN’T HEAR, WE'RE WHISPERING TO THE BUSH!" To Mettaton, Papyrus continued. “WHY ARE YOUR SHOULDER-PADS SO OUTRAGEOUS?!”

“Hello, pot, I’m kettle.”

“YES, YES, WE’RE BOTH METAPHORICALLY BLACK IN THIS METAPHOR BUT I WOULD LIKE TO REMIND YOU--”

“AH~! I’m free!” Mettaton finally cried, and heavy, plodding footsteps heralded the creature as he quite literally pushed trees aside to strut out into the small clearing where the three of you sat.

Yes, a giant minotaur wearing outrageous high heels. And pauldrons that could impale a camel.

Mettaton turned the character in such a way as to mimic female comic book heroes in that both his ass and chest were facing the three of you, posed for maximum sex appeal and none of the function. He pointed dramatically at your character. “YOOOOOOUUUUU!” He cried out.

You rolled with it, posing dramatically. “MEEEEEEEEEEE!”

“Bark.” Grillby said. “Bark, bark.”

Mettaton, outside of his character, specified. “Are you just yelling ‘bark’ over and over at me or are you actually barking?”

“Yes.” Grillby said and sloshed another shotglass of what must have been some monster variation of whiskey, as he let out a hiss and the rich, brief flare of purple melted into a very warm red in a near instant.

“Yes what? I assume you’re a wolf right now?”

“You don’t have to be a wolf to yell sad noises at the moon.” Toriel said indignantly, and she and Grillby nodded to each other respectfully.

“Nasrin would be proud, princess.” He laughed. She rolled her eyes and paid attention to her own half of the party.

“damn tori, slow down on that wine, you’re getting all cozy and colloquial on us.” Sans remarked playfully.

“[Why don’t you go outside and play hide and go fuck yourself](https://youtu.be/fJd9izGFveM), my child?” She countered.

“Damn it all, quit bantering and pay attention to your nemesis!” Mettaton yelled.

“Wait, that’s my nemesis?” You asked.

“I just said that!”

“I roll to high five him.”

Papyrus tried not to laugh. “YOU ARE FUCKERING AROUND TO A GROSS DEGREE.”

“heh heh… fuckering lights. i forgot about those. lol.”

“Did…. did you just literally say ‘lol’ out loud?” You asked, staring at Sans and considering your options. You could throw him across the room, right?

“didn’t have the energy to actually laugh.” He said and gave you a smug look. “but now that i know it bothers you…”

“We’re not even married and I’m going to file for divorce.”

“I tire of this.” Mettaton said. “If you intend to roll, do so so I can smite you.”

You failed the roll. Your character moved forward to high-five the minotaur in the impressive heels and he grabbed you, punched you out, and threw you over his shoulder, sprinting back into the forest before Ifrit and Uthgrob could react.

They spent a few minutes trying to figure out where you had gone and finally they found the minotaur’s tracks-- but Ifrit crit failed in trying to read them. The trail went cold. You were gone. They wouldn’t give up but it certainly looked bleak right now.

Across the table you heard Toriel’s half of the party in their own encounter, and Alphys was trying to use her pet owl in battle for the first time. “D-do the enemies notice him?”

“YOUR OWL IS INVISIBLE. YOUR OWL IS THE NIGHT.”

Undyne chimed, “Isn’t it broad daylight, dude?”

There was a pause. “YOUR OWL IS THE BROAD DAYLIGHT.”

Toriel lifted her arm to encourage the bird to perch on it. “What ho, bird! Be ye friend or **fowl**?”

Undyne and Alphys tittered drunkenly while Papyrus seethed.

Your character became aware. You were in a cell that overall looked pretty grody. Like an unkempt stable, you mused. But with ventilation ducts in the ceiling. Because why not?

“You’ve been here for a few days now.” Mettaton told you. “You’ve been beaten, questioned, perhaps even tortured. This is a moment of respite, perhaps only brief. What shall you do?”

You pointed up and silently climbed into the large ventilation ducts. Your roll was successful, and you were fine, crawling along, until Mettaton asked you to roll initiative out of nowhere. You were not happy-- you had no weapons, no armor.

Luckily it was just a rat that was nearly your size, and you clawed it to death with relative ease, taking very little damage. “Ah, rodents of unusual size. I didn’t think those existed.” You grinned at your own reference, knowing you were most likely the only one there who would appreciate it. You made a note to remedy that as well.

“There is an opening ahead. Do you want to go down or keep going?” Mettaton interrupted your reverie.

“I’ll keep going.” You said.

“Roll for stealth, then.” He said and hissed when he saw you failed the roll. “You crawled over the opening and a guard in the room below sees a figure pass over the opening out of the corner of his eye--”

You interrupted him. “Can I roll to make a rat noise?”

He stared at you for a moment and then giggled. “Sure. Go for it, Phantom darling.”

It was a critical success. “Squeak.” In the lowest and flattest voice you could, you had milked the crit success for everything it was worth.

Mettaton was nearly crying from laughing, but his voice worked perfectly well. Perk of being a robot. “The guard realizes it was just one of those giant ugly rats and returns to his post.”

“So where are my weapons? Where is my party, for that matter?!” You asked.

A glimpse of Sans and Grillby on the road, Ifrit with his head in his hands as Uthgrob continued to play a very annoying song. Ifrit had had enough and took the pherem by force and destroyed it in his hands.

Uthgrob looked disappointed, and Ifrit looked regretfully down at the beautiful instrument that lie in ruins.

“that sucks, lemme play it a funeral dirge.” Uthgrob said, producing a flute. Grillby let out an infuriated noise and Sans chuckled victoriously.

“I’m so screwed.” You realized. “I might as well get myself out anyway. I mean, that’s what I was aiming for, right?”

Mettaton nodded patiently. “Care to hazard a guess as to where your weapons are?”

“Probably in your character’s quarters, by my luck.”

“Oooh~ you’re good at this.” Mettaton purred.

You grinned. “Okay, I wanna pop out of the ventilation shaft like a frickin’ alien chestburster and take out the nearest guy with my teeth and claws.”

“Disregarding the fact that I don’t know what a chestburster is… that will require three rolls.”

You succeeded in your rolls, if only by a small margin, and the guy you launched yourself at didn’t even have time to scream before you tore his throat out with your jaws. The disgusting sound brought others investigating, and you hid beyond a doorway, using stealth (and another good roll) to gain the upper hand once again, twisting the head off of one of the guards who’d come in and--

“Phantom, darling _no_.” Mettaton groaned.

“Phantom darling yes!” You argued. “I ROLL TO SHOVE THE GUY’S HEAD UP THE OTHER GUARD’S ASS!”

“But _why_?!”

“For the same reason you kept a guy’s head on your nipple ring last time. Or the reason you wanted a bag of holding full of body parts!”

Mettaton was silent for a second. “I… suppose that’s fair. Roll for it then.”

You rolled a critical success. Mettaton blanched. “Try again, please.”

You rolled a critical success. “With someone else’s dice, please?”

The room was so quiet as you borrowed Sans’s dice and--

You rolled a critical fail. Everyone groaned in despair and Mettaton nodded somberly. “You… erm… successfully planted the head, but the force caused him to split in half down the middle. The head is impaled upon the guard’s tailbone.”

“sick.” Sans said, sounding half-disgusted and half-proud.

The minotaur appeared in the doorway now, looking furious and disgusted. “YOUUUUUUUU!”

“Not this again.” You grumbled. “I roll to intimidate him.”

Mettaton looked at the room and said. “I won’t make you roll. He’s thoroughly disturbed.”

Before you could say anything else, there was a rumble and the wall next to you shattered, a once again nude Ifrit bursting through the bricks like the Kool-Aid man. He had been running with his hands over his ears, Uthgrob following quickly while shrilly playing the flute.

It was too much, you turned to your nemesis and began laughing hysterically.

“He’s beyond disturbed now.” Mettaton noted. “His guards are mangled and reduced to gore, his dragonborn menace is laughing maniacally in his face, and a human male just knocked down a foot-thick stone wall effortlessly. And his ears are bleeding now. He’s done. He’s currently in the fetal position. Thank you, Phantom.”

You gestured at Sans and Grillby. “Thank them.”

“I’d honestly rather not.”

"rude." Sans said and put the flute away. To your character, Uthgrob bowed. “my heart returns to me with the glow of your eyes.”

“That’s the glow of disgust.” You said, but couldn’t keep a straight face. “If I throw a stick, will you leave?”

Papyrus and Mettaton exchanged an awkward, blushy glance. You decided not to ask.

“Anyway, I interrogate my nemesis. Does he have a name, or…?”

“It doesn’t really matter anymore.” Mettaton sighed. “I think I understand why you drank so much last time around. I envy you that ability but I can’t exactly excuse myself to get hacked at the moment.”

“Yes, it’s frustrating, but… enjoyable nonetheless.” You said, sipping from your bottle. Before you could lament that it was empty, Grillby handed you another one, having already taken the cap off it for you. You made a pleased squeal and swigged from it as he chuckled warmly.

“Just to recap, Phantom.” Mettaton managed to grab your attention. You were getting to that lovely, warm drunken state that required you stare at his mouth as he talked. “You… are interrogating the minotaur, correct? Is it about your weapons and armor?”

“Maaaaaybe.” You slurred. Suddenly the air froze in you and you sneezed, the recoil making you almost headbutt the table.

“boys in tights.” Sans intoned.

You chuckled hysterically.

“Maybe what, though, darling? Are you trying to seduce the minotaur?”

Alphys stared at Mettaton with a very impatient expression. “Why are you even asking that? Why do you want them to seduce you? You’re asexual!”

The room went quiet. Mettaton pushed Papyrus aside and took control of their encounter. “Suddenly zombies erupt from the ground. Stay still, Alphys. They just want hugs.”

Papyrus set about weakening the zombies. “METTATON I UNDERSTAND YOU ARE UPSET, BUT PLEASE! NO ONE IS GOING TO VIEW YOU ANY DIFFERENTLY. WE ALL ACCEPT AND LOVE YOU. ESPECIALLY ME.” He nodded to the others. “SEE? NONE OF THEM FAULT YOU FOR HOW YOU ARE.”

Mettaton stared at Papyrus for a moment. “You don’t mind?”

“AS LOVELY AS YOU ARE, THE SEX IS NOT WHAT I CARE ABOUT.”

“oh god.” Sans groaned into his hands, reaching for another bottle.

“I JUST LIKE BEING AROUND YOU.” Papyrus continued, offering a hug.

You smiled widely. “This has been my OTP for so long.” You said absently around your drink.

Mettaton’s eye still gleamed as he stared at everyone. You realized that your party could see Alphys’s party as well. That was great, right? The hordes of zombies proclaimed otherwise. You saw a glint in Uthgrob’s eyes, and you grabbed his shoulder.

He looked back at you, and you gently spoke aloud to everyone. “Remember kiddies, when trying to seduce a zombie a crit success and a crit fail are the same thing.”

Sans laughed and Uthgrob nodded. “knew you cared.”

“Fuck off, I just don’t like corpses.”

“rude.” Sans said with a wink.

“You’re not a corpse. You’re a monster. A living, breathing monster.”

He nodded. “i’m just fucking with you, shale.”

The moment of you talking was all it took for a zombie to grapple you. “HOLY SHIT WHEN DID THIS BECOME RESIDENT EVIL?!” You yelled. You crit failed an escape and suddenly you were being throttled. Sans began attacking the zombie viciously, but by the time he got it off of you, you were unconscious and near death.

“shit, hold on. i got this.” He said and used one of his powers to revive you. Your character gasped back to life.

Mettaton tsked. “Sans! You made them orgasm. Not at the table!”

Sans winked. “i can’t help it. being such an amazing bard makes me a **cunning linguist**.”

You felt yourself turn beet red as you recalled that he did indeed have a tongue. You were now thinking things that were definitely not appropriate in a zombie attack. And you were drunk. You needed help.

“shale, get up. i got an idea.” Uthgrob helped your character up. “grab that heavily-bleeding zombie and haul him over to the fortress wall.”

You did so and watched as he dipped his hand in the blood and smeared it on the wall. You fought off zombies as he continued, humming under his breath. Finally, he exclaimed that he was done. “in honor of my brother.” He said.

You read the words aloud. “Titty fuck tha lasagna.”

Mettaton let out an ungraceful snort. “Oh dear lord.”

Papyrus glared at Sans. “I SHALL LET YOUR IMPUDENCE SLIDE, AS YOU HAVE VERY BUSHY EYEBROWS.” Mettaton continued to laugh, and Papyrus smiled warmly at the robot.

Muffet came through the door and walked right up to you. “Songbird, sweetheart, please?”

“I’m surprised.” you slurred at her. “I’m reaaally surprised you could work on things with the livestream going on, ParlourPet.” You used her Undernet username tauntingly.

She laughed and waved your words off. “Dearie, I was more than happy to make something to classily hide your marvelous tush. Very little can distract me from such a task.”

Grillby handed her a bottle of human whiskey. Where did he even get that?! She took it eagerly. “Very few things, yes. Ahuhuhuhu.”

You excused yourself from the party to walk off with her. You were stumbling, but capable enough to summon your dragon countenance. It must have been one of those things that are easier to do if you don’t consciously struggle with it. You weren’t sure, honestly… but it felt damn good to grapple Sans’s magic. Like a hug from the inside out and you metaphorically nuzzled it, giggling.

Across the room, Sans was blushing like mad and for once was at a loss for words.

You managed to pull your draconic form into existence with minimal effort-- maybe it was because of all the monster alcohol? Did you have a surplus of energy?

Muffet noted how drunk you were and chuckled. Hurriedly, she fitted you with the clothes, which you admired drunkenly. “Holy shit, that’s so soft I just… wanna rub my face all the fuck over it.”

“Feel free to, dearie.”

You picked her up and hugged her. “YOU ARE FUCKING COOL, DID YOU KNOW THAT?! HOW THE FUCK DO YOU DO THE ARM THING?”

She squeaked. “What arm thing?”

“THE HAVING OF MORE THAN TWO just how does that work?” Your voice cracked and you went quiet mid-sentence. She was laughing as you finally relinquished her.

“I’m not sure how to explain it.” She finished fitting you. “But if I may say so, you look damn good in this.”

“What the fuck am I--” You were directed toward a full-length mirror that she’d apparently brought. You stared at yourself and felt tears prick your eyes. “I’m fucking hot.” You slurred.

She had managed to make a tight-fitting crop top that could abide your wings with closures at the back of the neck. It said “Do Not Meddle in the Affairs of Dragons, for You Are Crunchy and Taste Good With Ketchup.” She had managed to make some nice cargo shorts for you, as well, closure similar in the back to accommodate the tail. They were short enough that your legs and luxurious fetlocks showed. She shyly offered to braid the hair and you just stared at her.

“Why the fuck you’d braid it?” You slurred.

“Um. Sometimes… uh… nevermind. So can I put your hair up? You’d look so nice!”

You hesitantly let her, and she put it into what you could only call a topknot or a very sloppy bun. She called for Grillby, and you saw him flare in color-- but why?

“Yes, they look remarkably like Torby, don’t they?”

“Lighter, but yes.” Muffet said. “I don’t remember him very well though.”

“Who the hell was Torby?” You asked. You recalled Asgore mentioning something about a Torb-person or something before.

Grillby didn’t answer, and Muffet tried to distract you. You were drunk, so it was easier than usual. “So, dearie, I have a wonderful idea.”

“What kind of idea?”

“Why don’t you surprise Sans with a huge hug and see if you can lift him from his chair?”

You laughed. “That’s not a good idea at all…. I’m totally gonna do it though.” You laughed and stumbled gracelessly to Sans, hefting him out of his chair with a grunt and holding him over your head. “NAAAAAAH SABENYAAAAAAA” You tried to sing the Swahili part of the opening to Lion King, but after that initial part you just yelled gibberish as everyone looked on.

At the first moment of being lifted, however, the air changed around Sans and something emerged from what could only be described as a gap in reality. Still unaware of his surroundings and safety, Sans had summoned his Sentient Weapon-- or as Sans liked to call him, his Gaster Blaster.

The blaster made an odd noise, readying an attack-- but then you noticed it and smiled at it. It trilled ever higher before its tone dipped lower. It refused to attack.

Sans managed to get down and put himself between the Blaster and you, as if to protect you belatedly before he realized slowly that the blaster was trying to curiously investigate you, not kill you. Mettaton let everyone continue the encounter, since there were still zombies everywhere.

Sans grumbled. “fuck! i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to.”

“What? It’s no big deal, right?” You asked.

“he gets excited and likes to come out but i can’t always control what he does. didn’t want him to attack you.”

“He seems harmless, Sans, let him come here.” You tried to push Sans aside but he wouldn’t budge this time.

“might not wanna touch him. think of him kinda like a thorn bush, yknow? you’re not used to handling him, so he might hurt you without meaning to.”

“Look if you’re that scared he’ll hurt me, just… put him back?”

“i tried. i… i’m too drunk.”

You laughed and the Blaster stared at you from across the room curiously. At the sound of your laugh, he wandered closer, intent on investigating you.

“Hey, Sans.” You whispered to him. “Isn’t this the one I pet in the dream?”

“that was a dream though. please don’t pet them in real life. that’s dangerous.”

The Blaster trilled again, and you could only describe the sound as upset. He didn’t move any closer. “I think he’s scared.” You said and turned to the table of loud monsters. “Hey, everyone, could you tone it down for a moment, please?”

Now that the room was quieter, you moved forward to check on the ‘Sentient Weapon’.

There was a light of intelligence in the skull-creature’s eyes and he let out a strange noise, bouncing around and letting out nigh-guttural growls that sounded very happy somehow.

“HE MUST BE LONELY.” Papyrus noted. “SANS, SHALL I RELEASE THE OTHER ONE?”

He didn’t wait for an answer, and another skull-creature appeared. It rushed forward toward the other and butted against it. It wasn’t a playful gesture, more like one between people who lightly argue or disagree on many points. You mused that it resembled the brothers’ own relationship.

The two creatures chattered at each other while you and Sans rejoined the game. You had to figure out how to sit in the chair with wings and a tail, but Alphys had some decent advice on one of those things. It was foreign and uncomfortable, but you managed.

You had noticed that the Blasters were different from each other, so when you saw the slender, aggressive one wander closer to you, you immediately knew he was testing you-- or so you thought. Between being drunk and not understanding the body language of a creature that couldn’t talk and had no body, you honestly couldn’t be sure if he was testing you, sizing you up, or just investigating you in your dragon form.

He huffed at you, eyes glowing briefly. You huffed back and laughed, smiling at him. He trilled and came closer.

“He seems stressed.” Grillby commented.

You nodded and began humming. The Blaster froze his movements and made a whining noise. At first, the general consensus was that he was crying, but it became clear soon that he was trying to mimic you, trying to respond and sing along. Behind him, the other, amiable Blaster joined in. You vocalized louder so they could hear you better and have a better understanding of what they were working with-- your curiosity and affection for them growing quickly.

Everyone had stopped what they were doing to watch you and the creatures. Alphys was the first to break the tense silence. “I-it’s like… those videos of dogs howling when someone sings.”

“It’s creepy, that’s what it is.” Undyne remarked quietly.

“it’s fucking cute.” Sans argued, not looking at the others. His drink-addled mind began to work overtime as he stared at the trilling Blasters.

Were they _really_ only Sentient Weapons? He knew nothing of how they were made or when. Gaster had never shared that detail, and honestly he’d never cared enough to ask before now. Sure, he knew they were sentient, but he’d never really figured _how much so_ they were.

You had quit singing and turned back to the table. The Blasters had retreated further away, and were chattering to each other again. Sans realized that they were indeed communicating, and became aware that if he’d just listened he might be able to figure out some sort of pattern to their noises. Years. Decades, and just _now_ he realized that these things he’d used as tools-- these _creatures_ \-- were intelligent.

 _what are they saying?_ He wondered. Of course, to put any effort into figuring it out would be too much. He had forever to learn it and right now he had bigger issues to attend. As fascinating as this was, burning him alive right now, he admitted his interest was mostly due to his state of drunkenness and that his curiosity wouldn’t persuade him out of laziness when he became sober.

You prodded him, snapping him out of his thoughts. “I totally want one. They're adorable. Are there only two?” The larger, friendly Blaster seemed to hear this and came closer. Dangerously closer. Sans didn’t have time to react before he experimentally butted up against you.

And holy shit, did Sans freak out. It had taken him quite a while to develop a total immunity to the too-hot and slightly sticky quality of the Blaster’s touch. It had left him secreting ooze for days at a time. He’d always chalked it up to allergies, but when… he recalled using the weapon as an _actual weapon_ … That stuff was like acid, eating away at flesh from the inside out.

Nothing happened though. Eagerly, you were petting this creature of death and suffering no ill consequence. Maybe it truly was a matter of “Karmic Retribution?”

Grillby finished off the last of his bottle and grabbed an extra eyepatch, getting up from the table after putting it on. The happy Blaster scattered back to his friend as Grillby stumbled about, remarking on how lovely the sky looked now that he could see it with both eyes.

He ran flat into a wall, pushed himself away from it. “Sorry, miss.” He mumbled and walked in the opposite direction, arms outstretched.

That gave you an idea. “GIVE ME TWO OF THOSE!” You said and took them, rushing off to the two Blasters. They didn’t struggle as you placed the eye patches on them. They chattered shrilly to each other and to you.

You stood back to admire your handywork as they continued to bounce and sway. At last the large happy one fell to the ground and rolled around on the tiles with a _clack_ ing din. You were worried that he was hurt so you reached out to remove the eyepatch. The creature let out an ungodly noise of protest and you moved backward and let him be.

You returned to the campaign, keeping an eye on the Blasters through the rest of the encounter. In your distraction, another enemy singled you out, but this time it was Grillby who defended you. The enemy was nigh-instantly obliterated.

“Calm down, Fireball, it’s just a game.” You told him as he sat back down. He took off the extra eye patch and stared at you.

“I always wanted a child.” He said out of nowhere. “You are my child now.”

“Grillby, you’re drunk, there’s no reason to say something you don’t mean--”

He interrupted you by waving to Toriel wildly. “Tiny Sg… Scarf. Officiate the adoption process. Right now.”

“Grillby, I don’t feel like it.” She said, sloshing her wine in the glass as if to punctuate or explain.

“GET ME THE ADOPTION PAPERS RIGHT NOW, I NEED TO DO THIS RIGHT NOW.” He said.

Toriel was reduced to wild laughter.

Grillby wept onto the table. “Tinyyy Sgarrrffff pleaaase… the paperssss.”

While you and Toriel laughed and Grillby wept, there was another zombie trying to attack, and Sans tried to convince Papyrus that his eyebrows were pointy enough to fend off the zombie with. “SANS, YOUR EYEBROWS ARE _NOT_ A NATURAL WEAPON!”

“fine! i play a song on my flute to distract the zombies and then hack their heads off with this shortsword while they’re distracted.”

He managed to roll high enough that it worked. He was halfway into beheading the fourth zombie when Grillby sat up from crying and gasped. “I just realized something!” He said, full of despair.

“What?” You asked, legitimately worried.

“I don’t have a last name to give you!” He cradled his face from the horror.

Sans shrugged.

You thought for a second. “How about ‘Ghaythson’? That’s kinda what humans did.”

Toriel fell into a laughing fit. “Oh, gods. Gorey would love that.”

Sans was laughing too now. “jesus fucking christ, that’s so lazy. i love it.”

"I would be so proud and happy for you to be Shale Ghaythson." He replied weepily.

Mettaton had his head in his hands again. "How touching."

Grillby’s flames roiled a bit and his character lunged for the minotaur, biting in and shaking, making him shriek.

Ifrit let go and huffed at him, sending a spray of blood back into the minotaur’s face. The minotaur passed out.

"He wasn’t even attacking." Mettaton groaned, apparently forgetting that he usually called such displays kinky.

"hey, what if he’s a werewolf now?" Sans asked.

"How would we tell?" Grillby asked.

You shrugged. "I dunno. Stick a fork in him."

"why? to see if he’s done?" Sans winked at you.

"TO SEE IF HE’S A WEREWOLF." You shook Sans by his shoulders, laughing.

Grillby studied the minotaur. "Well he’s certainly done with us."

Undyne killed the last zombie before sprinting after the necromancer who’d raised them. A scream was heard and a snap. Shortly afterward, Undyne rejoined the party-- "why are you wearing underwear over your clothes?" Sans asked.

Undyne chugged the last of her bottle of-- holy shit that was rum, where did Grillby get all this shit?! "I’m a robot. I have no idea why I wear clothes at all! So why not steal a dude’s underwear?"

You laughed. "Your name is now Captain Undies!"

"HELL YEAH!"

Ifrit got a scent out of nowhere. “I must go.” He said and sprinted off into the darkness.

“Fuck, where?!” You cried out. “COME BACK, FIREDAD!” You wailed and sprinted off after him, the rest of the party following.

“Thank you, Grillby, for allowing me to keep Shale in the buff.” Mettaton droned sarcastically. “They ran off without looking for their weapons and armor.”

“I don’t even care about armor at this point. Next thing I kill, I’ll just wear it.” You said.

“what if it’s a person?” Sans asked.

You shrugged. “I mean, it worked for Buffalo Bill.” No one reacted and you realized they hadn’t seen Hannibal either. “GODDAMMIT GUYS, WATCH MOVIES!”

Papyrus threw back a shot of something definitely magic, as it didn’t reek of pain from where you were sitting. You suddenly craved how comfortable monster alcohol was. “Hey, Fireball, can I have a pretty green one?”

He looked more disheveled than you’d ever seen him. His hand shot out and he accidentally punched the box holding the booze. You expected him to react but he didn't. He just fumbled a bit for the bottle he’d been reaching for. Then he held it above his head where you could see but not reach. “Fire _dad_.” He said simply.

“Fine. Firedad, may I has alcohol?” You slurred, making grabby-hands at the bottle.

He handed it to you and then a look of horror crossed his face again. “Oh gods… I’m a terrible parent.”

“Dude, I’m a responsible adult.” You argued. “This is hardly my first drink and I’m in very good company. I trust everyone in this room with my life, kay?”

Grillby lunged forward and hugged you tightly. “I’m a terrible parent but you’re the sweetest child ever. I must protect you!” He squeezed tighter. “How about more fighting lessons? We can start right now! Summon your sword!”

You laughed. “Let’s not.” You said. “Maybe day after tomorrow when I’m not hungover?”

There was a pause as he awkwardly released you from the now-crushing hug. “That’s totally fair.” He cradled his own head. “Gods, I hurt in anticipation of tomorrow’s pains.”

"That sounds about right..." You grumbled. You turned your attention to Mettaton. “Where were we, dude?”

He was lying on the table now, you noted, cradling the crystal ball to his abdomen. “Grillby ran off with the plot and you’re following?”

“Oh, yeah.” You said. “Hey. Hey Metts.” You waited until he looked you in the eyes. “I appreciate you. You’re doing a good job.”

He softened the tiniest bit. “And you’re doing very well at being drunk.” He tried to be grating and arrogant, but his heart wasn’t in it. He removed himself from the table melodramatically, sitting in Papyrus’s lap now. You held Sans’s hand to try to distract him, but you heard the bottle in his other hand crack. Papyrus himself looked pleasantly buzzed and nuzzled into Mettaton’s shoulder, grinning, eyes squeezed shut with nearly innocent joy.

“Time to run after Fireball.” You said, focusing on the characters again. “Wait…”

Your hesitance got Sans’s attention. “is that…? dude, what the fuck.”

Ifrit was digging into a grave in the middle of a graveyard. You ran to him and tried to pull him out of the loose dirt but fell into the hole due to a failed roll.

Two floating skulls popped out of nowhere. They spoke thusly. “YOU HAVE DISTURBED OUR ETERNAL SLUMBER BUT WE’RE TOO LAZY TO FORM BODIES TO KILL YOU WITH. SO INSTEAD WE WILL HAUNT YOU UNTIL WE FEEL YOU’VE BEEN ADEQUATELY PUNISHED.”

You stared at Papyrus. “You literally made them--” You pointed at the Blasters, “part of the story?”

Mettaton shrugged tiredly, his shoulder _clank_ ing against Papyrus’s face roughly. “I think it’s fine.”

You shrugged in response, with much less grace, and you looked at the skull on the right. “So where is the plot?”

Mettaton cleared his throat. “The skull knows nothing.”

“rude.” Sans grumbled.

“I consult the _other_ skull.” You said, trying to ignore Sans.

“I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING EITHER, FRIEND.” Papyrus slurred against Mettaton’s back.

You were much more frustrated, staring into Mettaton’s amused expression. “I consult. The _OTHER SKULL_!”

“Why should we tell you anything?” The skulls asked. “You disturb our graves and--”

Grillby tossed his dice and they bounced off of Mettaton’s chestplate, landing a crit success. “I bite the speaking skull and we leave for the nearest inn.”

You pumped your fist. “That sounds decent. Good thinking, Fireball.”

“Fire _dad_.”

Mettaton threw his hands down on the table in rage. “The skulls form bodies and are revealed to be a necro-manticore. Roll initiative, everyone!”

Undyne threw her dice at Mettaton as well. “I PUKE ON THE MANTICORE TO ASSERT DOMINANCE!”

Papyrus looked at the roll over Mettaton’s shoulder. “THE MANTICORE USES A LEGENDARY ACTION TO START CRYING UNCONTROLLABLY.”

You wanted in on this. You threw your dice at Mettaton, earning an infuriated shriek. “I capture the manticore while it cries!”

Grillby and you exchanged glances. Sans nodded to the necro-manticore. “so what are you gonna do to it?”

Ifrit cracked his knuckles. “I think it’s time we give it ‘the talk’. What do you think, offspring?”

You snorted. “You mean about the birds and the bees? That talk?”

“No. I mean about violent and horrific torture.” He growled into the manticore’s face.

“I won’t even make you roll for that.” Mettaton admitted. “May I please gently twist your arm to perform in a movie with me though? You’re amazing.”

Papyrus continued the interaction. “THE MANTICORE SAYS HE’LL GO QUIETLY WITH YOU IF YOU AGREE NOT TO GIVE HIM THE TALK. HE WILL HELP YOU FIND THE PLOT.”

“I want to go to an inn. Or a tavern. Or both at the same time. How does that sound?” You said sluggishly, the words struggling to make it out of your mouth correctly.

Sans nodded. “you’re gonna seduce the barstools, aren’t you shale?”

“Don’t kinkshame me.” You gently shoved his shoulder, misjudging your strength and nearly sending him from his chair-- and your momentum carried you. You were now leaning very heavily on him, snickering against his hoodie, lips pressed into the lining, nose flattened against his skull. The hand that was not still pressed to his shoulder lent you balance by finding purchase on Sans’s thighbone. You were clutching his thigh over the barrier of his shorts.

Toriel spoke at that point. “Sans, how were you playing a flute whilst weilding a sword?”

With you anchoring half his body down, he motioned with his free arm. “you just kinda flute it to the side of your face, right? and swing with the open hand…”

“That’s not how that works, child.” She said over her wineglass.

Mettaton held his face. “What the fuck is a flute?”

Alphys facepalmed with what should have been deadly force.

Toriel waved Mettaton down. He looked at her expectantly. “Yes, Queenie?”

She waved her wineglass as she tried to wax poetics. “Doth… Doth autonomous mechanical monstrocities dream of giant goats?”

There was a pause. “What?”

Toriel’s character, a tiefling witch, gestured to a larger than average and very imposing looking goat. “Did you not know that goats rule the surface now?”

Grillby pointedly asserted that they always have.

Toriel sharply glared at Sans. “Is that better or should I go back to ‘getting all coloquial?’”

Sans chuckled. “fite me, tori.”

“AT LEAST I KNOW HOW TO USE A FLUTE!” She laughed.

Mettaton waved everyone down. “Yes, that’s all well and good, but where in hell’s sweet grasp did you find a goat?”

Papyrus pointed to Alphys. “SHE BEFRIENDED IT AND GIFTED IT TO THE QUEEN.”

Your character was hauling Ifrit by the scruff from the graveyard. “Let’s go to a tavern, ok?”

Papyrus spoke. “THE NEAREST TAVERN IS IN THE TOWN UNDYNE WAS BANNED FROM.”

“You were banned from a town entirely?” You clarified.

“Yeah… the local lord hates me.” She answered. “So drink twice as much at the tavern for me.”

“You’re a robot anyway.” Grillby reminded.

“why does the lord-guy hate you?” Sans prompted.

“I suplexed his horse.” She answered.

“fitting.” Sans laughed.

Mettaton clapped his hands loudly and everyone looked at him. “As you arrive in the town square, all of you together, because Undyne is smuggled in as walking scrap metal… you notice a hologram over the center of the square.”

Everyone watched. “Hey, isn’t that Mettataur?” You asked.

“You… Phantom, darling… I prefer him to have no name than that one.”

“METTATAUR!” Undyne said. “CAPTAIN UNDIES CHALLENGES YOU TO A DUEL TO THE DEATH!”

“It’s a hologram.” Grillby remarked. “You would waste your time and energy.”

Mettataur began to rant melodramatically of his ultimate plans to destroy the entire town, including himself, since he was likely a werewolf as well now and didn’t want to face that fate. “So to avoid my tragic affliction, I intend--”

Undyne interjected. “I roll to fart.” She rolled high.

Mettaton looked like he was screaming internally. You looked into the camera. “BP, expect Mettaton to apologize for the hell he put you through. I think we’ve broken him.”

“Not yet, darling.” He growled, trying to uphold the last lingering shred of his dignity as he was forced to respond to Undyne’s roll. “Your fart rings loud and proud in the darkened town square. Are you proud now?” He sighed, and Mettataur continued speaking. “I intend to destroy this entire continent--”

You yelled out. “Including the doors, right?” You looked at Sans and winked, quietly adding that doors were apparently a dragon’s best friend. He snorted.

Mettaton, and by consequence, Mettataur, were completely through with this. “No! Just because you said that, I’m leaving the doors. It will be a world empty of everything except the Star-forsaken doors!”

“FUCK YOU TOO THEN!” You roared, while Sans wheezed into your shoulder from laughter.

Grillby spoke now. “Leave the alcohol or I’m cutting your godsdammned everything off.” His words were roughly 80% slurred.

“Roll an intimidation check.” Mettaton grumbled, secretly hoping that Grillby would crit fail so he could smite him. He hoped maybe he could just smite everyone at the table. He was beginning to worry that the desire to smite would reach beyond the game.

Grillby’s roll was successful, though barely. Mettataur spoke again. “Okay, I’ll leave the alcohol. Please don’t cut my everything off.”

Toriel was laughing into her hand, trying to uphold the facade of politeness though it had slipped so consistently throughout the night. Her words rendered her efforts absolutely futile. “Can I use my Starfire to make large, flaming letters in the sky that spell out ‘Bonerfart?’”

“Why?!” Mettaton groaned.

She rolled a critical success.

“There are now purple flaming letters in the sky that say Bonerfart. I thought you were better than this, Queenie. I thought we were friends.”

“i’m gonna use a memory bubble to immortalize this moment. i’ll write an epic about it later.” Sans said, and before he could roll, Mettataur cut everyone’s laughter off.

“You know what? I give up. You people all deserve to die.”

You shouted a “Whoop!” of celebration, your arm movements throwing you off balance. Grillby and Sans both had to steady you, but you still ended up passed out on the floor after your flailing in counterbalance tipped your chair.

You woke up the next morning with a helluva headache. You were alone in your own bed, the stale and slightly chill air waking you up. Next to your bed, you saw a piece of paper. You struggled to sit up, groaning in aggravation and pain as you finally managed.

You brought the paper close to your face to be able to read it in the dimness of your room. Words finally came into focus. It was a formal birth certificate for “Shale Ghaythson.”

Sans arrived in the room now too. “oh, hey, you’re awake.”

“What the fuck happened last night?” You asked. “I… got adopted?”

He nodded. “you okay with that?”

“I have never in my life felt more proud.” You admitted. “If we ever do get married, you’re taking my badass last name.” You were grinning, your voice becoming bubbly despite the throbbing that made you want to vomit, anything to break the unbearable tension in your head.

“heh heh… you don’t wanna be a gaster?”

The amusement bled out of your voice immediately and you deadpanned. “No.”

He climbed into the bed with you and you put the certificate back on the bedside table. He chuckled and held you to him. “get some rest, shale. i’m here, and i’m not going nowhere until we gotta.”

You clutched onto him. “I can’t face this today, Sans.” But you knew you’d have to. You knew, and so you reminded yourself that you would always PERSEVERE.

Though the dimness of the room was enough to hide your anxious tears, the reminder of what you were fighting for was in your arms. You were filled with DETERMINATION.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I lied. This isn't the last fluff chapter. I had so much to put that i had to split the chapter into two. The DND bit by itself was over 40 pages in the end-- so the immense amount of feels and the optional smut got pushed off. the next episode could be considered fluff but it will be integral to the plot, smut aside. i have more than half of the chapter planned out/written, so if i can survive this next week, i should be able to get it out soon. 
> 
> but yes, after chapter 36, the plot is going to take a nose dive. 
> 
> Before the story's climax, i have to finish working on another version of the Song of Past Pain. Take a guess in the comments about what the purpose of the remix will be and you'll get a sneak peek at it! 
> 
> Lately I've been getting way too far into Vocaloid. It's not stuff that I would normally be heavily into, but somehow I've been captured by it. Tell me in the comments about your own guilty pleasures, be it games, music, or even a series/show. 
> 
> (And if you're into Vocaloid, suggest some good Gumi songs. She's honestly my fav female vocaloid and I want more songs with her in them!)
> 
> I have been awake an ungodly amount of time and need sleep. if this chapter is poorly edited, i apologize. i will eventually get around to fixing it.


	36. Soul-Searcher

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Featuring a lot of cameos, and introducing: Ashella the Viper.
> 
> Trigger Warnings for Suicide, war mentions, death.
> 
> Anyone ever wonder why the fic is called Soul-Searcher? Well, it has a double meaning...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm well into the next chapter already honestly. I might have a second upload in the wee hours of tomorrow morning. Want to get as much done right now as I can before I go into work tomorrow. This weekend has been fucking crazy.
> 
> Thank you all for being so patient with me, enjoy some plot mixed with ample fluff!

You felt comfortably numb. The pain of the hangover had subsided to the blissful nothingness. Everything felt like… a warm hug.

This was an odd dream. You felt like no matter how you moved, everything remained the same. Like the world was confined to a single dimension. Furthermore, this feeling was familiar. It was accompanied by a feeling of solidity, of faith-- though faith in _what_ could be thoroughly questioned.

There was a distinct color to your sensory, and you recognized it, too.

“Blue?”

“you remember me!” A soft-spoken, raspy voice emanated from everywhere. “i’m honored, kid. how is gaster?”

“He’s still a bitter asshole.”

“meh.” You figured that he’d shrug if he had a body. “figures.”

“So, what’s this about?” You asked. “Give me something to work with here. Why are you contacting me. How, and--”

“hold the hell up, kid.” He grumbled. “we don’t have time for that right now. bear with me, okay?”

“Um.” You tried to think of something to say in protest. “Um.”

“yeah, gonna have to interrupt you there. i think i know how to help you figure out what’s up with your soul. you ready for some heavy shit?”

“UM.”

“hold your breath, this is gonna be weird as balls.”

“UM!”

You felt your soul emerge, and it was all that existed. Rather than existing within the blue soul, you seemed to be trapped in the prison of your own. You called for Blue, but there was no answer. You felt like something was changing, shifting without air. Something you’d perceived as one-dimensional was growing, expanding. It was mind-splitting to behold-- or your hangover was back.

This was your soul?

You could move now, and you stepped forward. Things resembling little torches popped up out of nowhere, dozens of pairs lining a single path. You followed it, feeling more confused by the moment. The path branched in front of you and you studied each lane, wondering which way to go. You chose the direction of your dominant hand and kept walking.

~

_“Viper!” The word reached the woman from the ground as she looked down on the town from her balcony. She spat down at the fool who named her, hoping to whatever spirits weren’t sickened of her that they would catch it and die._

_Not that it would matter much longer, right? She was so very light that she feared the wind would blow her over the railing and she wouldn’t fall hard enough to die._

_She had made her decision that morning. Her children were all gone, sent to wherever her name would not haunt their futures. They would live good lives, make good matches… but that didn’t satisfy her._

_No._

_She stared at her gnarled, wrinkled hands and clenched them into fists with an audible snapping chorus from her joints. She couldn’t cry anymore. Not for pity, not for choices made and chances lost. Not for the love she’d betrayed. Not even for her own salvation._

_“Upon my blood…” She intoned, her voice hoarse but full of power, ancient power that she’d stolen just like her magic. “Let my line never know love unless from the hand of death until my wrong is righted. Let my sin be atoned through retribution and betrayal owed to me and mine.”_

_She took a deep breath and struggled to climb onto the bannister. The air gusted around her, and she wished that it would carry her away like dust. “Upon… my blood, place a curse until the price is paid, freedom for the damned.”_

_She held her hands to the sky and used the last of her magic to seal the words. She snarled as she let her balance fail. “So mote it be.” Air whipped her silver hair about as she descended to the rocks below. Ashella the Viper succumbed to gravity._

~

You woke up with a jolt and gasped for air. What the hell kind of dream was that?! Your phone was twinkling on the nightstand and Sans groggily sat up to check on you. You regulated your breathing as best you could, and tried to understand what the hell that was, and why you’d seen it.

“wha--”

“Blue helped me poke around in my dreams, I guess. I have no idea what that was, but I don’t want to see more.”

Sans was much more awake now. “whaddaya mean?”

“I had a dream about some woman who jumped from a balcony…” You stared at your own hands. “She was talking like she was putting a curse on her line or…”

Sans was silent for a while, but when you met his gaze he spoke. “tell me everything. we can figure this out.”

 _We_. You smiled to yourself, and told him everything.

~

Late in the night, Umiyo’s brand new phone had begun to chime, and she groggily grappled for it in the dark of her bedroom. She nearly threw it to make it shut up, but then she caught sight of the name on the caller ID and sat up straight, answering it.

“Sir.” She barked, voice husky but alert.

Grillby’s voice sounded absolutely horrid. “Umiyo, you’re a parent to a grown child. Help me. How do I show support for a child? How do I parent successfully?”

Umiyo would have laughed under normal circumstances, but sleep didn’t always come easily to her. However, if there was one person who could get away with it, it would be her captain. She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “I don’t know… uh… I guess just…” She swung her legs over to the side of the bed and managed to get up. She started looking through the collection of movies that Starry (and Undyne) had been fond of.

She rummaged for a few minutes, audibly, before there was a small crashing noise. “AH. Here, I’ll send Starry over with these movies. Later though. They’re asleep right now.”

“Thank you, Umiyo. I need help.”

“Yes, yes you do.” She remarked sourly. “I am honored, though, that you thought of me for that.” Umiyo had a thought. “Hey, Gha… Grillby, uh… remember when I was a stubborn kid?”

“You still are, to my understanding.” He joked.

“Just do what you did back then.” She said simply. “You were there for me when I needed you. I don’t know if I ever thanked you for that. So thank you.”

He was silent for a moment. He didn’t know what to say.

“You’ve got this. If anyone can do this right, it’s you.” She said.

~

Ghayth had been appointed Captain of the Royal Guard when Toriel had risen to power. Everyone was raw and nervous after the raid that had taken the previous king and queen, and still others. The wounds were fresh. He found himself in charge of a massive amount of frightened monsters in all shapes, forms, and genders. He was constantly struggling with the stress of his soldiers not taking him seriously. He'd risen in ranks dramatically overnight and some of them weren't even wise enough to hide their distaste and disrespect.

Not only was he required to train them, but he wanted to take into account each and every one’s strengths. If they were more suited to stealth, there were other stations for them available. As important as the front lines were, scouts were worth more than their weight in gold. Plus, it would help him weed out who he could. Less trainees were easier to train, especially when he had to oversee so many and give them orders.

It started two weeks after the raid that had almost destroyed the royal family. Ghayth would emerge from his quarters to find a child with one arm, covered in scars. She started out simply, demanding to be trained. Considering that not only was she not used to her body’s dramatic change in weight and balance, as well as the fact that she couldn’t be older than twelve years old, Ghayth was not amused.

Had this been another time, another situation, he would have offered to help the child. He wanted to do something, especially when he realized she very apparently didn’t have a family. But his obligation to his soldiers was as time-consuming as it was exhausting. In addition, Ghayth also had his other responsibilities under the spymaster. He didn’t have the energy to devote to a child, especially one who needed care he didn’t know how to provide. This was a time of war and stress. He didn’t believe he was capable of the kind of support this girl needed, as, just like his troops, he was emotionally raw over the loss of dear friends.

This child didn’t make it easy on him. For weeks, he was forced to walk past her as she bowed at the waist (only to flail to avoid falling over) and demanding in a sharp, high voice, “Train me!” but each time, Ghayth refused.

It wasn’t just because war wasn’t a child’s game-- Ghayth could tell by her injuries and the anger written into every expression that this was just as serious a matter as his own involvement. She wanted to fight with her whole being. He could understand and respect that. But she was a child, and to throw a child, even a willing one, into battle was against everything he believed in. Just because she wanted to fight didn’t mean she deserved the feeling of death clinging to her for the rest of her life.

How could he explain that to her, when she’d obviously lost so much?

Weeks turned to months, and her balance improved. Still, Ghayth did not budge. His resolve could last, he swore.

Things hadn’t been well that morning. Ghayth felt his rage kindled in his soul, and try as he might to tame it, it threatened to spill over. His troops hadn’t seen action in over a month and were beginning to question him, beginning to slack in learning what he taught. His patience was hanging by the barest of threads, and he felt that it would rain that night. He got out of bed reluctantly, already late to muster his trainees for weapons training. He threw on his clothes haphazardly, not caring to even lace up the front of his shirt, letting it bag around his frame, showing that he’d certainly skipped meals this week, if not the entire month. His lunch buddy was dead, so the mess hall was quiet and unwelcoming.

He opened the door to hurry out and noticed the thirteen-year-old girl in his doorway, on the ground. “Train me.” She said without preamble.

“Quit prostrating yourself, please.” He’d told the youth.

“Train me, _please_.” She said again, with the foreign word sounding less begrudging and more desperate.

“No.”

“I can fight!” She insisted, like she always did.

“I cannot, with good conscious, let you fight my men, or-- gods forbid-- humans.”

“WHY?! I WILL TEAR THEM UP!” She was so full of vigor and rage. She had directed all of it at the humans, and now… Ghayth sighed dismally, looking at the fierce girl and wondering how he could get through to her. It wasn’t that his army was too good for her, it was that he wasn’t sure how to teach her. It was that war would not soothe the anger and emptiness she must be feeling.

Other days, he might have tried to step over her. Other days, he might have insisted over and over again… but today he could feel rain in the air, he was running late, and this was an Every Day Thing.

His single thread of patience snapped, and he struggled to smother the flames that raged in him. He held his face and groaned into it, trying to let off some steam lest he take it out on the poor misguided youth in front of him. _I’m so tired of this. Today is not the day for this._ Regardless, to make her move, to keep his sanity in check, this was necessary.

Maybe it would change her mind? He knew better. “You shall sit in on a single training period. If, after that, you still want to learn from me, I’ll do my best.”

The youth made a noise shrill and loud enough to make others in the area flinch for fear of some attack. Ghayth motioned forward. “You’re still prostrating yourself in my path. My troops are waiting.”

Sheepishly, the girl got up and moved aside for the Captain. She followed him happily to the courtyard where the men were already standing about. They saw the girl trailing him and exchanged glances with each other. They wouldn’t directly ask him what was going on, but he could hear the offhand remarks even still, and his flames burned deeper red. “INTO POSITION! RIGHT NOW!” He yelled, his voice booming and carrying well out of the courtyard. “I am not in the mood for your protests and remarks.”

Some moved quickly enough, but then there were a few who sauntered almost casually. Ghayth had turned to direct Umiyo where to sit and watch, and when he turned back to his men, they were still standing loosely, acting like they’d only just woken up. It pissed him off enough that he pointed at them. “Get your training weapons and come at me.”

“Sir?” One of them asked.

“Did I stammer? Get your godsdamned weapons and FIGHT ME! IF YOU HAD YOUR WEAPONS ON YOU RIGHT NOW, PERHAPS YOU’D BE MORE PREPARED FOR THIS EVENTUALITY!”

Half of the men realized they, too, were not outfitted with their practice arms, and they began walking briskly to retrieve them.

The three he’d chosen to fight still didn’t look too concerned. They hadn’t seen combat before, though he’d been training them for enough time to send them into Pyric’s squadron. He and Pyric had never really made up after Torbernite’s death, but he wouldn’t purposely send unfit soldiers to his ranks.

“Fight me.” He commanded them. They traded glances again.

“All three of us?” One of them drawled.

Ghayth waited patiently.

“...sir?” He added at last.

“I highly doubt your ability to hit me, much less injure me. Prove me wrong!” He commanded, and as they shrugged to each other and ran at him, weapons raised in a very telegraphed move, Ghayth merely dodged and made an aggravated noise. “You must always be ready for my next move.” He said, and to the rest of the men, he added, “Always expect your enemy to know more than you. Always expect to follow your attack up with defense, another attack. Always keep moving!”

Again and again, he fended off all three of the men. “We’ve been training this long, and you can’t even hit me!” He growled at them. “If you can’t hit me, how will you hit a human? How are you going to attack the bastards that took our friends, our families?”

Even now, incensed, the men couldn’t land a hit on him, and his rage kindled again. He pulled his punches at first, but the men were not getting the idea. The light hits and pushes became throws and full blows. The other men watched in amazement as Ghayth continued to pummel and berate the three soldiers.

No one was sure what had happened. It was so quick that blinking was all it would take to miss it. Two of the men ended up pinned to the ground by their training swords. He’d avoided piercing anything but their clothing, but they seemed relieved to be on the ground.

The last remaining one didn’t move, frozen in fear, staring with wide eyes at Ghayth. He didn’t even try to land his hit, and looked like he was in the process of running away.

Ghayth was beyond stopping at this point, so he grabbed the man by the shirt with both hands and turned, throwing him as hard as he could, flipping him upside down as he sailed. The man’s back hit the stone wall, flat and loud, knocking the breath out of him. Umiyo stood a couple feet to his left, staring in open awe.

Ghayth immediately calmed down as the man sunk to the floor head first. His brain froze between wanting to say “Are you okay?” and “Don’t be fucking dead!”

“ARE YOU FUCKING DEAD?!” He cried out instead.

The silence was stifling, but the man saluted. “I AM FUCKING DEAD, _SIR_!”

Ghayth went about the day as normal, but nothing was the same. There was a fear in his soldiers that hadn’t been there before. There was respect. Umiyo joined in the exercises the next week, on the sidelines, and by the end of the month, other soldiers were practicing with her after he was done with their standard training.

Even though he’d never intended to spend so much time devoted to Umiyo alone, he found himself doing it anyway, wanting to see her take these full-grown soldiers down with that tenacity and energy they lacked. Umiyo’s balance improved so rapidly, and she devoted all her time to getting stronger. Soldiers would sneak her extra meals, until Ghayth proclaimed she was welcome to eat in the mess hall with the rest of them. He hadn’t realized until then that she hadn’t been eating enough, and he felt terrible about it.

Umiyo had become the force’s little mascot, and then as she grew, she became the force’s little prodigy. She was in Pyric’s squadron for less than a month before he suggested she have her own group. Between Pyric and Ghayth’s advising her, Umiyo became a commander in her own right, and even though she was the youngest soldier, the others took her counsel and commands without a grumble.

And now, hundreds of years later… She was counseling her Captain on one of life’s biggest battles… _child-rearing_.

It made her feel all warm and tingly, to be quite honest. She should have milked it for all it was worth. After all, it took prostrating herself in his doorway for him to agree, why did she settle for anything less? The thought made her snort quietly.

~

Mettaton and Papyrus sat in front of the computer. Mettaton had introduced himself to a brand of music he never knew he’d love so dearly, and he was forcing Papyrus to listen along intently. The first few songs had been touch and go, but [this last one](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Og7JS8mcp3c) left him looking concentrated and pensive. “Parsley, Sage, Rosemary, and Thyme” ended, and there was a few seconds of blissful, if tense, silence.

“WELL?” Papyrus asked. “DID HE DO IT?”

Mettaton looked at the befuddled skeleton. “Did he do what, darling? Who do you mean?”

“DID PERCY SAVE ROSEMARY IN TIME?! IT NEVER SAID!”

It took a moment for the understanding to kick in, but it did so with a nigh-audible _click_ and Mettaton laughed so hard he short-circuited and Alphys had to spend the rest of the day repairing him while Papyrus fidgeted nervously. Alphys and Undyne were laughing hysterically when Papyrus explained what had happened.

~

Burgerpants sat in Napstablook’s house, taking a long draw on his cigarette but otherwise not moving from the floor. This was a normal thing now, and had been since the Phantom production.

Burgerpants found himself frowning. The silence was so comfortable, but he found himself wanting to break it. “Hey. Uh… At the wedding, remember how Phantom said something about the future and shit? Like, under the stars and stuff?”

Silence was all that greeted the inquiries, but he knew by now to just go on.

“If we get to the surface, what do we do?” He billowed smoke from his nostrils and immediately took another drag. “Like… do we just… integrate? Will we be able to?”

“I’m scared of it.” The ghost whispered.

Burgerpants shifted to how he could look over at his spectral friend. “Why?” He couldn’t blame him, he was scared too, but whereas he was afraid of violence against monsterkind, about not being able to continue doing what he’d been doing with his career, he got the feeling it might be something different for the shy shade.

“I’m afraid I’ll be alone again.” They said.

Burgerpants thought about that for a moment. If all went well, what would happen, he wondered. Mettaton would leave and go on tour. You might go on tour. Hell, _he_ might go on tour. But this little ghost…

“I’m not going anywhere without you, little buddy.” He said.

Napstablook made a small noise, and their smile was audible.

The cat continued. “You got me, ok? When and if we get to the surface, we’re getting a place together. Just you and me, and we’ll have a… a _studio_! Think about it, Blooks. We’ll have a soundproof little jam center, and…” He cracked up and patted the ground. “And a nice open floor in it.” He sighed contentedly and sunk against the floor appreciatively.

Quietly, Napstablook said. “I think I can see it.”

It was one of the rarest pleasures, hearing Napstablook laugh. Softly, like bell-chimes, so quiet you could easily miss it-- but Burgerpants felt his face split into a grin. He wouldn’t miss this for all the fame in the world. He’d waited years for his career to go beyond burgers-- he could definitely wait for his friend.

~

Toriel and Muffet sat together, drinking tea and chatting. They didn’t do this often, as they each had a good amount of responsibilities. The two of them had been talking off and on for the past year though the talks had only once or twice gotten saucy. This time, though, Muffet had started them out with a decent shot of whiskey before tea. Not enough to sauce them much, but enough to make the discussion much more enjoyable.

Muffet loved the way Toriel laughed when she was drinking. Secretly, Toriel admired the way Muffet could stay graceful through most of an entire bottle of Jack Daniels. The turning point in how Muffet felt had been the first D&D campaign. Sure, she’d also studied everyone else’s interactions, but she found herself drawn again and again to watching Toriel wave her wineglass around.

In the past few months, they’d found themselves I.M.ing each other on Undernet, sharing a mutual love of the drama on the website. From those sprung discussions of a different nature.

Such as this one.

“So, get this, Tori. Oh, Stars. Get this.” She took a sip of her tea while Toriel chuckled behind her paw. “So Alphys sent an email to me by mistake, and it held all these notes for her fanfic. Apparently, she saved her ideas as drafts-- why she put my name on them, I’ll never know-- but I emailed her back…”

“Oh what was it! What was it!” The queen crowed.

“It was…” She snorted and smacked her lap as she tried to contain herself. “It was the most… creative smut I’ve ever read. Whatever inspired her, media or drugs, I want.”

Toriel gestured emphatically in a ‘rewind’ motion. “Fanfic of what? Sans and Songbird?”

“Worse.” Muffet said, words muffled with the porcelain cup’s lip.

"Papyrus and Mettaton?" Muffet shook her head. "She and Undyne?"

"Even worse."

There was a pause. “Oh, gods, no.”

“Yep.”

“OH NO. Tell me I’m wrong.” Toriel got her phone out and checked her email. “Oh dear.”

“She sent it to you, too?”

The goat woman’s fur was a rich scarlet and she tried to cover her face. She nodded. She locked her phone to keep from reading it right there in front of Muffet.

“So…” Muffet said. “Like I said… She had some creative scenarios in there.”

Toriel tucked her phone away again for good measure and took a sip of her tea. The silence made Muffet anxious but she gave no indication of it. The queen murmured into her cup darkly. “Gave you ideas?”

Muffet had been taking a sip as well and inhaled it. After the two quit laughing and choking, they shared a fond look. “We’re obvious, aren't we, dearie? To everyone but us?”

Muffet had been meaning to broach the topic for weeks now, but this certainly provided a buffer. Now she was smiling, though her throat still burned a bit from the inhaled beverage. She never would have imagined a “mistake” such as that would give her the courage to talk to her queen like this.

Sure, though, she wasn’t _just_ a monarch. Muffet couldn’t sell her short like that. They’d known each other for so very long. Toriel was only a few years older than her, after all. They’d both had to grow up fast, they’d both lost their parents. They both sublimated their negative energy into taking care of others-- and baking. Especially baking. They also both enjoyed the occasional drink.

Asgore had always encouraged their friendship… but this was different. It’s funny how a childhood friendship could blossom into so much more.

~

You and Sans sat together, and words had died out. Now the two of you sat tensely, brainstorming what exactly this meant. “we gotta go see gaster.” Sans finally said with a note of defeat.

So far your theory was that Ashella was a past incarnation of you. It made sense, right? No… not entirely. You felt like you were nothing like the bitter old woman in the dream, but… “I want more information first. If I go back to sleep I might see something else that’s relevant to her.”

“you also heard from blue again, didn’t you? and we can’t keep putting g off. he’ll talk to us whether we want him to or not. he’s capable of invading your dreams, or speaking through the river person… for someone who doesn’t exist, he’s difficult to escape from.”

You looked at him for a moment, wondering why he sounded so bitter all of a sudden.

Sans sighed and spoke again. “i kinda want some fries right now. wanna go visit your new dad on the way to see my shitty one?”

You agreed and hurried to get ready for Snowdin weather. You opened the door to the bar and there was a chorus of cheers from the customers. At the noise, Grillby launched from the kitchen, vaulted over the counter, and hit you like a tidal wave, lifting you up and spinning you.

You were tempted to ask when his sleep schedule would come back from the war. He looked like he hadn’t slept in years. Despite that, he was jovial, energetic, and crushing the absolute hell out of you.

He finally set you back down and you laughed. Sans stood behind you, looking relieved to not receive the same treatment. Too late, he realized that he would share your pain-- and you tried not to die of laughing, eventually prying Sans from Grillby’s hug when the creak of bones began to worry you.

“So what do I call you now? I’ll miss calling you Fireball.” You remarked.

“Fire _dad_.” He said proudly, his flames flickering. Other monsters in the bar chuckled. It must have been odd to see him so emotive.

Sans stretched again, popping his bones back into place after nearly being crushed to death. “do i call you **fire** ther?”

You snorted, and Grillby didn’t react. That wouldn’t do. “C’mon, you’re my next of **kin** dle.” You added, wondering how hilarious dad jokes would be coming from Grillby.

Sans looked more pleased than if he’d thought of it himself. Grillby’s face remained stoic for just another second before his face cracked and he turned around to hide that he involuntarily let out a single huff of laughter. The tell-tale whisp of smoke gave him away though, and you and Sans laughed and went to the bar to sit down.

“What can I get you?” He asked once he was back behind the bar. You ordered fries and waited as he ran back to the kitchen to get them.

When he returned and set the fries down, you hesitated before asking him a question. “Hey, why did you give me the name Shale?”

He chuckled, but you saw the tint of his flames waver. Was he sad? “I once had a friend named Torbernite. You couldn’t not want to protect the poor oaf. He was… the best friend I ever had, aside from Asgore.”

He hesitated a moment before continuing. “Torb was in love with a human. He told me once that he’d been thinking that it might be enough to end the war, perhaps. Especially if they had kids. He was… so proud. There were others who were with humans, but…”

“What happened?” You asked.

“The humans betrayed us. And their leader was Torb’s mate. She killed him.”

There was a solemn silence until Sans broke it. “so where’d the name come from?”

Grillby sighed. “Torb told me many things. He had it all mapped out. Dragons, he said, name their children after the earth. After something they resemble. He had decided that his first child would be named Shale.”

“But…”

“Yes, I know, it’s morbid… but when you came in here that day, I felt… You feel like what that child would have been. And I felt that Torb wouldn’t mind if… I named you that.”

“What happened to the human?” You wondered. “Was there any justice?”

Grillby seemed to be grinding his teeth. That’s what it sounded like, anyway. “She got away. Last I heard about her, she was demoted. I never saw her after that.” His voice lowered to a growl. “I certainly looked.”

He paused. “I wonder how many hundreds of years it’s been since her name was uttered, but I seem to have forgotten it.” He looked like he was satisfied with that. “I don’t remember any of their names, just their… faces.” His words were a growl. You had the idea that the reason he remembered their faces was because he’d wanted to burn them beyond recognition.

“Her… she would joke about she and I being related.” He finally muttered. “Her hair was close in color to my flames.”

You and Sans were eating the fries as he spoke, and he looked embarrassed for a moment. “Apologies, the movie showed distaste for reminiscent parents…”

“Movie?” You arched an eyebrow at him.

He gestured emphatically in dismissal, his flames tinting with humiliation. Under his breath, you could hear him mutter, “I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing.”

You felt kind of bad for the guy, you had to admit. You felt odd having a sudden father-figure in your life, but it must be much more jarring for him. What could you do though?

“well it’s been great, father-dad-guy, but we gotta go for now, okay?” Sans said, and tugged you down from your stool.

“We’ll probably be back later on if you want?” You said, wondering if he was still having those headaches. He looked fine right now, after all.

The look on San’s face is what changed your focus. “You okay?” You asked him as he led you through the shortcut. You were in Waterfall now, in front of the door that shouldn’t have existed. The chills were only half because of the unsteadying lack of sound. Even the constant din of dripping water was deafened here, and the silence was unwelcoming to your words.

The Void was close at hand, ready to swallow your voice up and never give it back. You shuddered.

He nodded. “he’s getting very impatient. whatever is going on, it’s not good.”

As soon as the door opened and the two of you stepped in, there was a loud cry of “AH! Finally!” and then Gaster slid across the floor to meet you. He didn’t sound angry so much, just slightly aggravated. It was as if he knew something you didn’t, and from the strange look he was giving you, one full of weird fondness, it was something you’d never guess.

Sans noticed too. “what’s going on?”

Gaster wasn’t tangible to you, and you were glad because he was desperately trying to hug you. “You have no idea just how much you helped my friend.”

“I really don’t? Could you…?”

“Ah! Yes, I apologize profusely… I got carried away again.”

“what’s going on?” Sans repeated, an edge in his voice.

“Grillby isn’t struggling so much now that he has an adequate distraction from my memory. Even when you brought up the… time period where we were involved…” There was a spark in his sockets that hadn’t been there before, and the Void couldn’t quite swallow it.

He seemed to be getting better. That was good, but you were grinning when you felt the news bubble up. “Well, I’m about to make your day then.” You took a sick amount of joy watching him try to decipher your face while politely waiting for you to go on. He looked to Sans, and in cipher asked what the hell you were on about. “I heard from your favorite human.” You said. “He felt it was important to bring something senseless to my attention.”

“Senseless, you say?” Gaster looked offended, and-- was it your imagination, or had he risen in height, as if standing straighter up would raise him above you enough for him to look down his lack-of-nose at you. “I would say Blue hardly spoke without sense, but that would be a lie. But I would also like to point out that while he spent too much time by far… ‘dicking around’ as he would say… he is also to the point.”

“In other words, opposites attract, right?” You laughed.

Gaster and Sans exchanged glances and Sans shrugged. “has a point, g.”

Haughtily, he turned his head and clipped. “Fine. Tell me what he said, and I shall prove it. Though concise, he--”

“Okay, I get it. So listen up.” You said. “Keep me from explaining it, and I might forget something important.”

He didn’t want that, and he made it obvious by sinking back to your level and staring at you intently. Yet again, you explained the dream.

When you were done, Gaster sat pensively. “He had you explore the coding of your soul. Leave it to him to find a way to do that.”

“What do you mean?” You asked.

“When Blue fell down here, he told me much about modern human technology. He was quite enamoured with it. It was his science of choice, and… he particularly enjoyed droning on and on about coding and how even humans could be broken down into code, or so he believed.”

Sans now looked immensely curious. “could you… go on?”

Gaster waved his hand. “Destroyed when the lab erupted. You know that.”

“do you remember any of it?”

“Not particularly. Something about heredity and biology. Or some such. There wasn’t enough fact that he could prove to me behind any of it. We didn’t have long enough to go into all of it in detail.” Was Gaster blushing? You stared at him. Something told you he didn’t have enough time to discuss that because he was too busy with other aspects of Blue.

Not a thought you want to have about your boyfriend’s creepy father.

“In any case, so… Blue wants me to explore my code?”

“You said there were multiple paths, right? Ah, if only I could assist in this… But in any case, please keep me posted if Blue shows back up to guide you. Now, moving onto the dream itself. The name doesn’t ring a bell, but we have no clue as to when the dream might have taken place, assuming it was a portrayal of an actual moment of time.”

Sans snorted. “the name wouldn’t ring a bell to you, would it, really?”

Gaster sighed. “If it took place during the war, it would be simple. I was the spymaster. While I didn’t know anyone face to face unless they worked directly under me, with exception of three monsters, it was my job to know everyone in some form. I had thousands of records, all lost when we fled the Foothold.”

You were starting to get curious about the war, honestly, but the only person who remembered the whole story was Gaster, and you didn’t want to hear it from him here in the Void. Your skin was already crawling. “moving on, then.” Sans said, catching your shudder. “what was wrong with the future?”

“Well, when we had that conversation days ago, I saw a future, far from now, that brought me much joy, because at that point it was certain and there was nothing hindering it that I couldn’t understand. Something changed around the time of the wedding. Something small, or large, but something I can’t plan around because I simply don’t know what it is.”

“No idea at all what it could be? You said you thought you understood Asriel?”

He inclined his head in agreement. “Yes, I fear that it might involve Asriel. I swear that I understood him, but suddenly I cannot see him past a point. Whatever pawn he’s moved lately in this game… it has obscured my vision.”

“Who else can’t you see around?”

“I can no longer see the pleasant future of anyone’s. Whatever this is--”

“Yes, but who can’t you see around before that point?”

He paused, and then the board appeared at his side. He slapped it with a phantom hand, and branches of futures began to weave like cracks. You watched as they cut off abruptly, almost all of them simultaneously.

He and Sans shared a look. “heh, that looks familiar.” He didn’t sound amused, and his sockets were darkened. You waited for someone to explain, but no one moved to. “but... wouldn’t that mean the kid--”

“They are not a variable anymore.” He pointed to a strange red crack in the map, stagnant in its movement. You thought you heard something, and Gaster looked behind himself toward the noise. “Are you sure?”

Sans peeked past his father’s form to see what or who he was talking to. He let out a soft gasp. You struggled to look too, but until Gaster moved to the side--

“oh... kid.” The despair in Sans’s voice tipped you off before you saw the childish form with empty, leaking black sockets. They looked sad, ashamed. Their hands shook as they tried to sign. Sans looked back to Gaster, accusations rising.

“It was their choice.” Gaster said. “The Resets led to some unfavorable results over time and they realized the only way to break the cycle was to take away their ability to do it. In my anger, I… failed to protect them from the Void’s grasp…”

They smiled at you and you felt your stomach turn. Their voice was husky from misuse. Definitely damaged vocals. “We are Charisk.”

Something was familiar about this. “Are you an Amalgamate?”

Gaster made a noise that could almost pass for wry laughter. “I suppose that word could fit better than most.”

They turned their face to the ground and you stepped closer. They looked startled and backed away until they met your eyes and stood stock still as you continued to approach. You crouched in front of them. “Charisk, then. I should be able to help you, if you’d like?”

The child was signing frantically, and seemed in contrast with the voice. “That won’t be necessary.”

Gaster gestured to you. “Do they have enough Determination to Reset?”

The child quit arguing with themself and studied you. Signing was first, and the child spoke. “You’re sure? I’m not.” Sans stood beside you now, as if being closer would keep them from hurting you. Finally the child agreed on an answer. “Probably not. Not normally, anyway. They’d have to be under a lot of stress, and even so… they’re not Determined enough.”

Sans coughed, and they snapped to attention at the noise. “uh, what do you mean about that?”

The signing again, and Sans nodded and told you what they said. “frisk said you’re something between perseverance and determination. they believe you’re closer to the former rather than the latter.”

The child spoke aloud. “I’m not so sure. I feel like you could have Reset if you really wanted to. Just depends on how you feel.”

“I don’t want to.” You said. “I shouldn’t have to go back if I just keep going forward.”

The child’s hands blurred and there was a victorious grin. The voice sounded irritated. “Fine, you were right. Now shut up.”

You thought again. “I don’t think I could stand the idea of starting all over. Even if everyone remembered me on some level, it would just be painful, you know? I’m not saying I won’t do it in dire circumstances, because if it keeps this world from disappearing, I’d do it in a heartbeat, feelings be damned.”

The child looked uncomfortable. Gaster chuckled. “It is probably for the best if you do not intentionally Reset.”

Sans looked at the child again as if waiting for something. You knew he wanted an explanation. They looked at their shoes. They spoke. “They… okay, I guess _we_ are sorry. But the reason they didn’t go back was there was no better path anymore. I… had this desire to make them suffer for their choices. I took control of them and made them watch as I destroyed everything they loved, everything they worked for.”

Sans stared at the child. “why? why the hell would you do that?”

“Their actions have consequences… and it… feels good. I couldn’t feel anything until we fused together, and I just… wanted to feel things again. So I hurt their precious friends. They couldn’t mean that much, right? If they had, they wouldn’t have killed them.” They stared into Sans’s eyes, and under the blackness of the Void in their sockets, you swore you could see crimson trying to break through. “It was never me holding the knife. Always them.” The hands were still, clenched and shaking. They looked like they wanted to cry but they couldn’t anymore. “It’s a bit late for tears.” They laughed. “I can’t cry still.”

Gaster turned to look at the board. “I still can’t see your future, Shale. And I feel like I should be able to.”

“Who is that?” You pointed at a cluster of lines. Well, three lines and an empty area where one obviously should be.

“Alphys, Asriel… The Queen.” He smacked the screen and it dispersed. “And Asgore.”

“You see more of Asriel than you do of Toriel, now.” you observed. “That’s new.”

“She spends much time with Asgore. But Alphys should not be obscured so. Not nearly so, as she shouldn’t have much to do with him, other than his housing. I can only assume this is something Asriel has done.”

You rubbed your face and looked back at the child. “I’ll talk to Alphys then, see if there’s anything new.” You thought to yourself for a moment. “What was that ‘good future’, though?”

“The surface.” The child said. “For everyone.”

Sans pantomimed weighing two options in his hands. “so we got destruction of all versus an actual chance at surface living forever.”

You looked at Gaster for a moment, trying to choose your words carefully before giving up. “If you tried to understand Asgore, wouldn’t part of this problem be solved?”

The other two in the room were silent as Gaster glared into you. “I will never understand him. I will never trust him again.” His gaze was relentless. Unforgiving.

You stood up and gave an irritated sigh. He expected you and Sans to find a way around his problems. Something about that really irked you. “I need a break. And a drink.”

Gaster moved forward. “Please don’t forget, we need to stay in contact over this. Please tell me if you speak with Blue again.”

“Yeah.” You said, feeling your responsibilities crawling on your back. As childish as it was, you missed your mother right about now.

“Wait.” You thought about the three-inch-thick tomes your mother had leafed through when you were younger. Family heritage, traced back to so many places in so many times. “My mom would be able to tell me if Ashella was my ancestor or something, I’m almost sure of it!”

Sans stared at you. “and how are you going…?” He interrupted himself. “we have human internet.”

“Facebook! Fuck, it’s good for something at last!” You cried out. “Oh, shit… I’m going to have to… hide in a closet or something. If she sees monsters she’ll assume the worst. I’ll have to ease her into it. Fuck, though… she probably thinks I’m actually dead…”

“heh, tell her it’s hot down here underground. send her a pic of the lava of hotland.”

“Very funny, asshole. My mom is literally going to assume I’m in Hell.”

He shrugged and motioned to the door. “let’s go look into it, then. worth a shot, right?”

You smiled at him and gave a small wave to the two denizens of the Void. You weren’t sure how you were going to approach your mother after these months, but…

You walked out of the room on the cusp of the Void, full of DETERMINATION.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who likes Burgerblook?! And furthermore, like... I saw some Muffet/Toriel things a long while back and just thought "That's an interesting ship" and then i started thinking about it more and I'm just like... it would be cute. I'm so for poly ships, so expect there to be a poly relationship there if Asgore ever regains his memories.
> 
> WHO IS EXCITED FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER?! it's going to be a fuckton of angst. And the smut scene will finally happen, and yes it will be skippable, I promise. 
> 
> We're gonna meet your mom, and maybe so will the monsters! Also, tell me your headcanons on who Ashella is and also just... 
> 
> I am fucking dead, sir.


	37. Far-Reaching Venom and Reopened Wounds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Performance in the bar.  
> Your mother is worried sick about you.  
> Soul-Searching part two.  
> Your firedad is worried sick about you.
> 
> ...and stuff.
> 
> Lots of songs in this chapter. Definitely no foreshadowing. None at all.
> 
> Trigger warnings for: self harm (unknowing), sexual content/nsfw (skippable. asterisk trio will set it aside, it is not needed for the story), and prequel stuff (war, betrayal, death mentions)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter already? Awww yiss.
> 
> Happy halloween, guys. Thank you for keeping with me on this fic. The end is in sight, I swear. I intend to finish Soul-Searcher THIS MONTH, as long as it stops getting longer. T.T
> 
> Remember, there will be a sequel! This ride is far from over!
> 
> Edit: 12/12/16  
> Added links to see the Mages portraits that I drew. I will continue to upload portraits of ocs. Feel free to tell me what you think of them!

Sans texted Burgerpants and was met with an instant reply. He and Blooky would be on their way to the bar. You and Sans took the scenic route back. Shortcuts were good, but he had a feeling you needed to talk.

The problem was you didn’t know how to put it into words. You were turning in on yourself trying to understand, and in the end you were left internally blank, unable to process anything. This whole doom-and-gloom-end-of-the-world-kabloom bullshit was depressing the absolute fuck out of you. System overload. [Game over, man. Game over.](https://youtu.be/dsx2vdn7gpY)

Sans used his magic to pluck a tiny echo flower. You didn’t notice him do it, just kept walking. He pulled the flower out of the air and brought it close to his face to whisper into it. Secretly, he’d thought of doing this for a while, but it seemed like a good idea right now. His original plan had been to pun around or put a joke into the flower, but…

“hey, shale.” He touched your arm and you turned around, surprised that he wasn’t walking with you. He tucked the flower behind your ear. “know it’s not really your style…” He said, and gods, he was blushing.

You touched the flower. “we can do this. i love you.” It said, and chills raced up your arms. It felt like he’d just whispered it directly into your ear. You blushed and looked back at him. Unable to think about it, you just stood there, trying to control your overheated face.

“we have a performance to do at the bar, right?”

“We?” You arched an eyebrow playfully.

“well, i don’t really know very many songs that you know… but i’m there for support? bp and blook are at the bar, too.”

You smiled and looked in the direction of Snowdin. “That’s probably even better than drinks right now.” You admitted. “I just…” He nodded, but let you talk anyway. “It helps to sing it out, yknow? Feels like all this stress is rotting in there.” You placed a hand over your chest. He looked at your soul, saw it overflowing with rawness.

“yeah, you need to get that out, then. why not now?”

You shrugged. “As good a time as ever, considering everything is going to disappear anyway.”

God, it hurt him to hear that nihilism in your voice. He knew how it felt-- hell, he knew. He never wanted that pain for you, that pressure. He held your hand. “shortcut?” he asked gently, and you nodded.

A chorus of cheers greeted the two of you as your arrival was noticed. Grillby was already setting up an area, along with Napstablook. Burgerpants came forward to greet you. “Phantom! Hey, come here, let’s talk sets!”

You laughed. He handed you a water bottle and you gulped half of it before telling him the songs you had in mind. There were a few you wanted to perform after singing under your breath since Alphys showed you them. One of them fit how you felt almost to a T right now… You told him about the songs, and after you got the list set out, he had you sing a bit of them, so he could help get them into an order that would flow well.

The area where you’d be performing was set up now, and Burgerpants seemed a bit hesitant before broaching a topic with you. “Hey, Phantom… is everything okay? I notice a theme with some of these songs.”

“Heh, no. Everything’s okay.” You lied, hiding your grimace by gulping the rest of the water and getting up.

He grabbed your arm before you could walk off. “You know you can tell me anything, right? If there’s anything at all I can help with, tell me. I’m here. So is Blooks.” You held your breath because otherwise you were afraid it would all tumble out. He saw the distress and released you. “I… I won’t push you, buddy, but when the time comes, keep me in mind.”

You smiled at him and gave him a hug. You didn’t even care that you’d never get the hair off your clothes. “Thanks, man.” You said and departed for your make-shift stage. Blooky nodded to your speaker. You handed it over to him, and he plugged it into a device on the corner of the bar. An amplifier, you realized. At least, somewhat of one.

“How is everyone?!” You cried to the cramped bar, immediately met with thunderous response that baffled you. You turned to Grillby. “You’re gonna need a bigger bar if I keep this up.”

He crackled proudly. You swear he turned to one of the customers and said “that’s my child.”

When you quit laughing from the joy, you said, “Some of these songs might be hard to follow… but I’ll do my best!”

Cries of the crowd reassured you that they didn’t care what it was as long as you sung. Your magic was struggling in your soul, squirming like worms under your skin. “Let’s go then!” You yelled, and the [music](https://youtu.be/1mRvICojl20) started up.

Your magic sprang at the chance for you to put your hearts words out for all to see, so as you sang the song in a foreign language, smokey letters of maroon tint formed above and around you.

“After two hours, late at night, my dizziness subsided. Futon, bed, either way, my brain woke up. Engrossed in the television but whatever’s on is dim, unable to sleep, I wait for morning. If I listened carefully, I could hear something. A terrible noise, like an accompaniment at a festival. Husky voices mingling together outside my window. ‘Hey, let’s start to pretend that we’re zombies!’”

Already people were dancing, and you were getting into it, mixing Japanese and English lines together until the song was an amalgamation only subtitles could interpret.

You danced along, urging everyone along. “Come on, come on, come on, breathe in. Fly off, fly off, fly off, breathe out. Rotate, rotate, round n’ round, rotate. It hurts, it hurts so much to breathe in and breathe out.”

The dancing went on, but now there were faces in the crowd that looked a bit closer. Sans looked at the bags under your eyes, felt the negativity bleeding out of you through the song. The letters traveling around the room looked so angry, he felt.

You smiled as you continued. “On this kind of night I’m some kind of idiot. I’m loud-mouthed enough for it to be terribly fun. Why can’t someone like me just get some freedom? Then again, this isn’t all that fun, is it?”

Your magic coalesced into a form that rose from the ground behind you, the shadow of Gaster in his goopy, unrecognizable glory. “Hey, pay attention, someone’s in front of the TV. They’re an old coot with a complexion that’s just creepy.” The figure smiled with a face that erased itself. “Holding out a sickle in their right hand they spoke: ‘Hey, stop being human and just dance.’”

The chorus took over, and you were getting into it now. “In the back of my head... there’s a siren that won’t shut up! But I didn’t plug my ears, I took my hands and started to dance.”

Your voice fell lower, and your smile became strained. “Come on then, come on then, come on then, breathe in. Fly off now, fly off now, fly off now, breathe out. Rotating, rotating, round n’ round, rotating. It hurts me, it hurts me to--” Your magic began to distort as you poured your energy out forcefully. “It hurts me it hurts me it hurts me it hurts so much…. To have to die like this.”

When the song finished, there were many worried faces in the crowd, but you smiled and, after you caught your breath, you tried to explain away that the song was just really catchy and in no way represented how you felt right then.

Your magic didn’t lie, though, and so you moved on to the [next song](https://youtu.be/BtyyxF3imRM) in a hurry.

The beat was already infectious and you grinned as you bounced in eagerness with the song. “Come on guys, I want you singing along. Don’t be afraid! Join in with me when you can!” Again, your magic threw the lyrics to where they could be seen, and the mood shifted again to good feelings all around. Drinks were consumed (and spilled).

“I’ll make you a five-star enemy. I’ve taken a fall would you like to see? Choke it down, what a sound, run away from me. Keep on laughing, girl, do you see me?” You bounced around, gesturing for the crowd to join in. “Break it down now!” You sang, and your speaker supplied, “What you want, anyway!”

“Right about now!” You cried, and some of the crowd replied, “What you want, anyway!”

“I’ll fuck it up again!”

“What you want anyway!” More of them responded now.

“We keep falling in love, what a beautiful disaster. What a beautiful disaster!”

The rest of the song was a mad success, everyone yelling the lyrics back at you, so impassioned, and you blended it right into the [next song](https://youtu.be/83b2b5G0ZS0) with a cry of “Let’s keep this going!”

Your magic was like smoke dancing through the lights of the bar, tinting everything in that color. The little bar was starting to look and feel more like a club, and Grillby had to admit that while that first song concerned him a lot, you were certainly enjoying yourself now.

He didn’t exactly like the way some of the patrons were looking at you, though. Drunkenness notwithstanding, he didn’t appreciate the leering. He discreetly discouraged them with a glare and fwoosh of fire. Most of them got the point, and the others caught Sans’s disapproving glare.

Another [song ](https://youtu.be/NBiQPZxd81s)started, and Sans’s attention snapped up to you. His grin spread-- he knew this song. You _knew_ he knew this song. You motioned for him to get up there, and he did gladly, offering his support, at least on the chorus.

There were cheers and whistles. Burgerpants laughed and remarked to Grillby that he’d never seen Sans get that excited about something. Grillby just pointed at you as if to explain it, but it was obvious. It seemed like you made things worth the effort, especially when he felt so rewarded by the smile you showed as you sang with him.

That song bled into yet [another](https://youtu.be/hxvpP0UEmcM), this one slower, softer, more intimate and heartfelt, and your magic seemed to caress Sans in a way that made him give you a stupefied look. “Let me be with you. Let me transfer you to another world…”

He felt your wavering hope catch on the desire for a future that wasn’t concrete, and he felt a surge of Determination from you. “I can go on and cry… but I will fight. I have the feeling I might die… but now, I’ll do it again. Let me show you something new.” He’d never felt this chill before, your voice affected him, he felt that right now you just wanted to hold him and believe that everything would be okay. He sang along, harmonizing low with you during the chorus.

Your magic was swelling again as you went into the [next song](https://youtu.be/-sSbkA-xd7M) and Sans rejoined the crowd so that he could watch your expressions. “The faces all around me, they don’t smile, they just crack. Waiting for our ship to come but our ship’s not coming back. We do our time like pennies in a jar. What are we saving for? What are we saving for?”

The monsters felt the change in the air, your magic was taking hold, and your feelings grew bolder. “There’s a smell of stale fear that’s reeking from our skins. The drinking never stops because the drinks absolve our sins. We sit and grow our roots into the floor. But what are we waiting for? What are we waiting for?

“So give me something to believe, ‘cause I am living just to breathe, and I need something more to keep on breathing for. So give me something to believe.” Everyone felt the Determination in the air, felt you reminding yourself why you were going to keep going. You looked out at the faces of people who trusted you, who adored you. You _needed_ to protect them.

“Something’s always coming. You can hear it in the ground. It swells into the air with the rising, rising sound. And it never comes, but shakes the boards and rattles all the doors. What are we waiting for? What are we waiting for?” Sans and Burgerpants started singing along into the chorus, followed by Napstablook (quietly, behind Burgerpants).

You felt yourself sneering as the next part came on. “I am hiding from some beast, but the beast was always here. Watching without eyes because the beast is just my fear that _I am just nothing. That’s just what I’ve become! What am I waiting for… it’s already done..._ ” You let out a cry, and the whole bar shook as everyone sang along now. “So give me something to believe, because _I hate living just to breathe_ and I need something more to keep on breathing for. Just give me something to believe!”

You hefted the weight of responsibility on your back and settled it on your shoulders, smiling out at everyone. You nodded to Grillby who nodded back. “[Last song](https://youtu.be/Hh9yZWeTmVM), everyone. Last one for the night!”

The protests began, but they were swallowed up by your gesture. There was absolute silence and your intake of breath was all that was heard.

“Just give me a reason to keep my heart beating. Don’t worry it’s safe right here in my arms. As the world falls apart around us, all we can do is hold on. Hold on!” Suddenly the music kicked in, full throttle, and you went with it. “Take my hand and bring me back!”

Your words were echoed by your magic, desperate to get the point across. You could do this, you could fight. You _would_ fight! “I’ll risk everything if it’s for you. A whisper into the night, telling me it’s not my time and don’t give up. I’ve never stood up before this time, however I won’t let go of this hand I clutched. I can’t let go of you.

“So stand up, stand up! Just gotta keep on running. Wake up, wake up! Just tell me how I can never give up. That instant of beauty’s almost maddening-- Just tell me why baby, they might call me crazy for saying I’ll fight until there is no more. That glint in your eyes, wrapped in despair is an impulse. Blinded, I can’t see the end… So where do I begin?

“Say not a word, I can’t hear you. The silence between us is just reflecting as if nothing’s really there. I’ll take this chance and I’ll make it mine. I’m merely pretending I’m adorned with all the things I can’t hide-- So Stand up, stand up! Just gotta keep on running. Wake up, wake up! Just tell me how I can never give up. That’s the beauty of misery and sorrow.

“Just give me a reason to keep my heart beating. Don’t worry it’s safe right here in my arms. Broken, weeping, blossoming, and scattering these feelings, so blinded I can’t see the end. Look how far we’ve made it. The pain, I can’t escape it. And at this rate, I can’t possibly let this end, now can I? However many times I seemed about to die or fail, I can’t seem to find an end. So where do I begin?”

If your Determination hadn’t been stark before, it was almost cloying now. “If I try not to lose what I’m holding onto… If I extend my hand and it seems about to fall, throw away the countless days when there was nothing lost… for you… Just tell me why, baby, they might call me crazy, for saying I’ll fight until there is no more. That glint in your eyes, wrapped in despair, is an impulse I love. Blinded, I can’t see the end.”

You began to deviate now, singing what was straight from your heart. “Look how far we’ve made it. The pain, I can’t escape it. And at this rate, I can’t possibly give up, oh, how can I? However many times I feel like falling or dying-- No! I can’t let this end like this, I just can’t die now. It finally begins…”

Breathless and emptied of energy, you accepted the screams with ringing ears and a weak smile. Sans knew that despite being bled of magic, you had never been more full of Determination.

Eventually, people began to file out of the bar. You and Sans were sitting with Napstablook and Burgerpants, talking about music. You were laughing and getting that nice over-full feeling in your soul again from happiness when there was a touch on your shoulder. You jumped a bit and turned around to see a frighteningly tall and buff dragon-monster. He looked nervous. “Uh… Like, can I talk to you?” He asked.

“Sure thing!” You said cheerily, and gestured to your friends that you’d be right back. You walked off with the dragon. “What’s your name?”

“Iggy.” he said. “Short for Igneous.”

You remembered what Grillby had said about Dragon names and smiled. “Nice to meet you, Iggy. Call me Shale.” A look of absolute joy touched his face and you wondered what was going on. “What can I do for you?”

“I…” he looked around, eyes lingering on a bunny monster who was roughly the same size as him. His smile grew. “I just wanted to thank you for existing.”

You stared at him. “Uh?”

He went on, rubbing at the back of his neck. “Like… I’m the first naturally-occuring dragon born down here, near the base of the Core, next to the lava… but… it’s really hard to be what people expect me to be.” His eyes lit up and you wondered if he knew how much you felt like a liar just then.

“It was why I went into the Guard.” He went on. “But when we disbanded I didn’t know what to do with myself. It’s tough, right? But… like, it’s a little easier knowing I can just be myself like you are.” You stared up at this massive creature, and actually _squeaked_ when he leaned forward to give you a crushing hug. “Don’t give up, okay?” He said, and relinquished you, going back to the bunny man and walking off with him, hand in hand.

You stared at their retreating backs for a moment before going back to the bar. Grillby eyed you curiously. “You look upset.” He observed.

The others quit talking and looked at you. “It’s a lie, isn’t it? I’m not a dragon. I’m not a monster…”

Burgerpants snickered and pulled you into a hug. “Does it matter? You’re a monster to us. There’s not anyone down here I’ve met that doesn’t love you and accept you.”

You looked at Grillby, and he nodded. “Not a lie.”

You didn’t feel convinced but… You smiled at everyone. You wouldn’t worry them if you could help it. You and Sans shared a gaze. “time to go?” He asked, reminding you that you had yet more to do.

You nodded, “Yeah. Time to go.”

 

* * *

 

You sat in front of the computer and hesitantly logged in. You didn’t know what you expected, but you were disappointed that there was so little that had happened in the last few months. Then again, your pool of friends had been limited to family you couldn't open up to and people who Ko approved of.

Sans had wanted to be here to support you but you asked for some space. You needed to think, and also in the event that you could video chat with your mother right now, you really didn’t want her to see Sans yet. That would lead to all kinds of panic that you weren’t ready for. Sans, understanding (though not entirely approving) went back to the Ruins to browse your pantry. There had to be something easy (read: simple and effortless) enough for him to cook, right?

Your mother was on chat right now. You pulled her up and held your breath as you typed out a response, backspaced… typed again… backspaced.

“Mom.” You finally typed. “I know this is probably scary, me appearing out of nowhere… but it’s me. I’m safe, I’m loved… and I really want to talk to you.” You felt your eyes sting. “I miss you. So, if you’re not working, can you…. Get some video software up? Like Skype or something?”

You sent the message and waited, reading and rereading the message you’d just sent.

“How do I know it’s you?”

You startled but then smiled. This would be easy. If ever there was a time when your mother doubted you were you she would ask this.

“Punescarf.” You typed. It was an inside joke. Years ago, she had tried to type Runescape and was autocorrected to Punescarf. Ever since then, she and you had thrown the word back and forth until it became what it was now, a password that only the two of you knew.

In other words, if she believed Ko had taken your phone and told her you were okay, she could be absolutely sure it was really you.

You could tell she was typing, but for the longest time there was nothing. You prepared yourself. She was going to use your birth name. You knew it.

“Oh.”

That’s all? That’s all she had to say?

“You’re alive then? Where are you? Can I see you? Who are you with? What happened? Why have you been gone?”

“Oh fuck, mom, calm down.”

“You can’t just disappear for half a year and then just show up and not expect me to ask.”

“Hey, can we video chat? It’d be easier for me.”

There was a pause on the other end. Considering she never stopped typing, this worried you. “I can’t tonight, but I’ll figure it out tomorrow, okay? Is that okay? You’ll still be here, right?”

“Yeah, mom. I’m fine. You have Skype or something, right?”

“Yes, here, find me on there, okay? I have to call your aunt.”

“No, no. You can’t tell anyone right now, okay?”

“Why the fuck not?!” Your mother was never one to mince words. “If it’s really you I should be able to tell the people that miss you!”

“Please just wait on it.” You begged. The last thing you wanted was a search party, and your mother knew just how to get one to form.

“You’re coming back, then?”

_Were you?_

“Not in the way you’re thinking.” You said at last. “I’ve changed a lot, mom.” Maybe this was a way to segway into the topic? “I have a question, though. All that family research. Did you ever come across the name Ashella the Viper?”

There was another pause. “It doesn’t ring a bell, but your aunt was the one with the history mapped out. I just looked at it. If you want that information, let me tell people who’s asking. Let me tell them you’re alive.”

Gods, she knew how to pull those heartstrings… “Okay. Fine, but please get me that information. It’s very important.”

“Any idea what side of the family it’d be on?”

“No clue.” You thought for a moment. “More sure that it’s your side, though, not dad’s.”

You knew she was snorting with sarcastic laughter at the mention. “You’d be shit out of luck if it were. I meant which side of my family.”

“I have no clue.” You restated.

“I’m sighing.” She typed, and you could almost hear her dry humor through the screen. Gods, you could cry. You wanted to hear from her. “I’ll look tonight.”

“Okay mom… I gotta go, okay? Love you.”

“Love you too, baby. Don’t forget, tomorrow. Don’t disappear on me again. Or I’ll find you and kill you myself.”

You found yourself giggling as you disconnected from the messenger. You were about to exit out of the page when something caught your eye. A chill swept through you, settling in your gut like a spined urchin.

You stared at the screen for a moment. _This is a mistake. Click away. You don’t need to know_. The pointer hovered over Ko’s face. What was this feeling? Bitterness? Were you bitter that the man you’d considered a best friend and so much more, despite his treatment of you, had moved on?

You clicked his icon. The void in your chest thrived as you stared at his achingly familiar face. You remembered the feeling of his hair in your fists. Even now, you clenched your fingers, almost expecting to feel the silken texture in your grasp.

You wished you could rip it out.

It wasn’t jealousy, was it? The woman at his hip looked... so happy. Like you had been at one time. And her skin was unmarred, unblemished.

No, you weren’t jealous. You were _furious_. What had she done to be worth more than you? She obviously made a better trophy, as she was pristine... but could he laugh with her, game with her?

Why hadn’t you been worth that loving care?

The void clawed at you in your chest and you closed the browser. You got up and walked away. Your emotions were in such disarray that your speaker was hissing and popping in an attempt to be an outlet. Your tiny pool of leftover magic roiled in your blood, there was a burning in your heart.

There were no mirrors here, in the lab. Instead, you sat down in front of a heavy, polished machine, staring at your distorted reflection in the chrome. You tried not to snarl.

He was still winning, you realized. Even now he still controlled you. Your fingers worried at the burn scar on your wrist, but you were staring too hard to notice you'd broken the skin with your fingernails.

"shale?"

You didn't look. You didn’t want him to see this. Maybe, if you just stayed still he wouldn’t notice? Maybe if you appeared impassive--

Oh fuck, your wrist _stung_! He'd grabbed your arm and was pressing a bandage over the flowing blood. "shale, answer me."

You couldn’t make words. All that emerged was a shrill whine. The tears never came, but inside you were dying.

Your speaker spoke for you. "Mistake."

"what's a mistake? Did you not mean to just..." he gestured at your wrist.

You shook your head. "Me." The speaker provided. Tiny voices overlapped each other as your emotions fought around each other. "He's a bastard I want to kill him." "What did I do wrong?" "It shouldn’t matter! Why does it matter?" "I don’t want to let him win! What do I do?"

"what can i do, shale?" He asked softly, and you looked into his sockets. You didn’t have to speak right now, you just crawled into his arms and he held you, humming softly into your hair. "you're okay. please be okay."

You clung to him and finally cried. "I’m sorry I shouldn’t have looked." Sans waited for an explanation but you were just rambling.

He held you until you couldn’t breathe. "you're not used, shale. despite what he made you believe, you're not a product. you never were." He said, staring into you with those firm, demanding lights. You let his confidence in his words strengthen you.

He continued. "you're not broken. he doesn’t define you." His fingers traced over some of your scars reverently. "you're a warrior, shale. you've survived so much hell... and i’m so fucking proud of you."

You just needed to know. You needed this. "Tell me you love me again. Mean it. Please, mean it."

He gathered you closer into his arms. "i love you with everything i've got."

"Sans, I’m scared." Everything had culminated when you saw the face you gave to your failure, and you had just let it eat you up. How the hell could you keep fighting if you couldn’t stand on your own? What would happen if you couldn’t do this on your own?

He nuzzled into your hair again. "i know, baby. but i’m here."

He was. You wrapped your arms around him and squeezed just to make sure. The feeling of being wrapped in a rumbling storm was so calming you almost felt numb. As scared as you were, you couldn’t fear this. But for a moment, you were confused. You laughed through your tears.

"what?" He whispered as you pulled back to look at him.

"My abuser, Ko... the first time I opened up to him, cried for him... he got a boner. He said it was ‘cause he liked comforting me..."

Sans smirked. "i’m mostly bones, but i'm not--"

"You’re not aroused by my misery." You interrupted, voice rough.

He gently wiped away your tears. "i just want to help you."

You nodded. You could feel him in that tiny corner of your soul, struggling to heal you, push the pain away.

You trusted him and that was scary... but. "I need you."

He didn’t respond. How did you mean that? You weren’t sure of that, either, and so you sat there, clinging to him again. How did you mean it? Your lips brushed his jaw and you gripped his shoulders. "shale, no. if you want to do this later, that's fine but..."

"You won’t be taking advantage." You murmured into his neck, darting your tongue out. His breath froze in his throat.

He felt guilty, you realized. Why? "i'm... not comfortable."

Oh.

You realized what your reaction was now. You had been conditioned. Reward comfort and kindness with sex-- and that was yet another difference between your abuser and Sans.

"I’m so sorry. I…” You tried to pull away, ashamed that you’d put him in a situation he didn’t want. He didn’t let you move, holding you close, looking into your eyes until you looked back.

He kissed you sweetly. "later. on a bed. no tears." Each bit was punctuated by a sweeter kiss, and something other than conditioned desire warmed you.

If he kept kissing you like this, he might be a bit counterproductive. "in the meantime, babe..." he leaned away enough to look at you with a sweet warmth that made you forget how to breathe. “i learned a new song for you."

You felt him wielding your magic again. It was strange, but pleasant. It felt like a comforting touch, but without physicality. It felt like love in a way you’d never experienced before him. Your speaker buzzed a bit, and the [music](https://youtu.be/kRVcBBu5uyM) began as Sans held you closer again, the vibrations of his voice making you want to sink into him. He made you feel so safe-- and then you heard him sing for you again.

“hello... i’ve waited here for you everlong. tonight, i throw myself into and out of the red, out of their head they sang…” The comforting timbre was somehow more soothing than you’d remembered from last time you’d heard him sing. “come down, and waste away with me, down with me. slow how you wanted it to be and over my head, out of their head they sang.”

Was it because of the bond or was it because he was touching your magic? You could feel his emotion, you could feel just how much being here meant to him. “and i wonder when i sing along with you… if everything could ever feel this real forever… if anything could ever be this good again. the only thing i’ll ever ask of you, you’ve gotta promise not to stop when i say when… they sang.”

You realized it now, he was trying to heal you. You could feel his intentions, you could feel the way it felt like he was juggling shards of your soul, trying desperately to fit them together like a jigsaw puzzle. You weren’t broken though, were you?

“breathe out so i can breathe you in… hold you in. and now i know you’ve always been and out of your head, out of my head i sang…” You let him hold you a bit tighter, wanted to drink him in however you could, and secretly, you might have been alarmed at how much better you felt in this situation.

“and i wonder when i sing along with you… if everything could ever feel this real forever… if anything could ever feel this good again. the only thing i’ll ever ask of you, you gotta promise not to stop when i say when…”

You leaned back to look him in the eyes as he relinquished your magic and the two of you just sat there for a moment. You broke into a smile as the last ridge dissipated from his bones. “Thanks.” You whispered to him, and he gave you another kiss.

“anytime. by the way, the internet is calling us, can you hear it? you promised memes.”

“I didn’t think you were seriously interested.”

“i had two weeks to see the internet, and most of that time i spent doing things other than seeing the internet.”

You nodded and thought for a moment. “I could stand to watch some cat videos.”

Sans looked confused for a moment and then chuckled. “i forgot humans have domesticated cats.”

You laughed. “Yeah, BP got his huge break on the surface years ago and the internet is obsessed with him.” You thought for a moment, face going stern. “Holy shit, when we get to the surface… that might actually happen.” Sans let you wriggle off his lap and both of you got up, going back into the main room of the lab where the computer waited.

The two of you listened to music, watched cat videos, and laughed for hours. Now, though, there was a companionable silence as you both nodded to the calming music from an old favorite video game you were showing blurry footage of.

You weren’t sure when you’d laced your fingers with his or started running the fingertips of your other hand along his metacarpals, exploring the divots and details of his workings. You weren’t sure when you'd begun humming to him, barely audible, seductively low. You were aware, though, that he wasn’t focusing on the video anymore, despite his feigned interest in it.

"Am I making you uncomfortable?" You asked worriedly, suddenly aware of how strong you'd been coming onto him.

He shook his head and turned to face you. "i just want to know first... is it because you really want me, or..."

"Sans, I love you." You said. "...I have had trouble with the things in my head... concerning sex..."

"did i mess things up?" He asked.

"No! No, that... well I’d say it was pure but we were both drunk off our asses... but it was the purest I’ve ever had, honestly. It... I actually felt something-- and not just physically."

"i’m sorry. i uh... really enjoyed it but..." he looked away. "i was afraid i was gonna hurt you or something."

"Why? Did you want to?" You asked curiously, without fear, and he blanched.

"no! of course i don’t want to hurt you."

You shrugged.

"don’t be so nonchalant about that shit! i know you can take a hit, doesn’t mean you enjoy it!"

You blinked at him for a minute. You really shouldn’t be so surprised at the way he thinks, the way he feels, but regardless you broke into a smile. "Sans... let's go home."

He stared at you, misinterpreting your sudden smile. "i’m not gonna hurt you. i can’t."

"I know. You don’t have to."

"i don’t want to _see_ you hurt."

"You won’t. I promise."

He nodded and both of you stood, taking a shortcut back to your bedroom.

 

***

 

You looked at him for a moment, suddenly shy. This would be the first time you would be trying this approach and even though it excited you and felt right…

"Could you sit down?" You asked faintly.

He hesitated. "why?"

You came closer to him, pressing your body against him, forcing him to step back against the bed until he fell back on it. You felt a thrill of delicious power, and he stared up at you, leaning on his elbows.

"Are you okay with this?"

"be specific?"

"Can I do things to you?"

He hesitated and you waited patiently. You wouldn’t push this on him, regardless of how badly you wanted to gnaw on him. His expression softened. "i trust you, babe."

You looked down at him and smiled as reassuringly as you could. You leaned over him and kissed him softly. "Thank you." He was blushing again, you noted. You kissed him again, trying to rob him of his breath as your hands explored him under his shirt. "I want to make you feel good." You whispered to him. "I want to show you what I can do."

He tried to speak but his words were lost in a gasp as you continued to worship him with your fingers. You pulled the shirt over his head and kissed him again.

"shale." He muttered your name over and over, and then, when your fingers trailed along the waist of his shorts, you felt him stiffen in apprehension.

"Is this okay?" You asked.

The look in his face was lost. "what are you...?" You smiled at him reassuringly and he nodded, leaning back, looking shy and unsure but you could tell by how he trembled as you kissed his ribs, running your tongue along the undersides that he wasn’t averse to your treatment so far, just nervous.

His breathing was labored and he barely noticed that you pulled his shorts down. Your hands swept over his pelvis, and when he caught his breath, leaning his head up to look at you, he realized what you were waiting for.

He stammered and tried to put his mind to it, and you encouraged him with little kisses and nips. He let out a groan and you laughed devilishly, pulling away to watch his face. His eye flared with his magic and he summoned his phantom limb and you waited to make sure he was ready before you reached out to take him into your hand.

His eyes searched yours, trying to see some sort of plan in your seductive expression. You smiled calmly back, your touches gentle but sure. You pressed your lips to the faintly glowing shaft, admiring the feeling of his magic tingling like static against your mouth.

You maintained eye contact with him as your tongue darted out, lapping softly at his glans. His breath quickened and again that swell of power crashed over you.

You closed your mouth over the head, and he let out a rumbling growl, sinking back against the bed. You laughed against him and used your tongue to lave his length before plunging him down your throat without warning.

"fuUUCK!"

You pulled off so you could laugh. "That's the idea."

He was panting. "what?" He wouldn’t look away now. "what the fuck did you _do_ to me?"

You grinned and abruptly did it again. He made a strangled noise and clutched the sheets desperately.

You met his gaze again and removed him from your mouth so you could plant another kiss to his length. He sighed, breath shaky. You watched his face for a moment, captivated by the blatant worship on his face. You'd never seen this before. Perhaps you'd expected coldness…

Sans continued to surprise you.

You had an idea. Summoning your spectral hands after a bit of magical fumbling, you used them to work his cock toward the base while you steadily pleasured him with your tongue.

"ah, shit..."

You hummed against him in agreement and sped up, leaving him a moaning, helpless mess.

"shale--agh i... shi--fuck" you loved the sound of him as he descended into his insanity, and your own hands began to rub at anything you could touch.

You could feel him tensing, rattling, and the echo of his feelings through the bond was all the warning you needed-- he was too tongue tied to say much more than he was. "i--i stop i'm..."

His pleas fell on deaf ears and he was too far gone to resist the dance of your tongue over his sensitive magical flesh. With a gasp and a choked moan, he came, grabbing your shoulders. He whispered your name reverently as you withdrew.

The taste of him was strange. It wasn’t terrible; it didn’t make you want to vomit. There wasn’t much you could compare it to. You swallowed it down and crawled onto the bed to lay next to him.

He caught his breath after a moment. You grasped his hand which quaked in your grip. "Anytime." You laughed against his sternum and the reverberations of your voice made him let out a low groan.

"un-fucking-fair, you know."

"But did you enjoy it?"

He let out his breath in what was supposed to be a laugh. After another long, comfortable moment, you felt a change in the air. His magic washed over you, rendering you immobile. "my turn." He growled, bringing your now-cobalt soul to his mouth. You were forced to watch him as he summoned his tongue and feinted at touching your soul with his fingertips.

Even just the promise of the lightest caress was enough to excite you as he held your gaze. His vivid tongue, wide and tapering to a point at the end, drug against your soul at last, and it was like you'd been touched on the inside and outside simultaneously everywhere.

Your body throbbed, and you felt the thrumming of his magic surging in your bones. You wanted to lean into his touch, but his tongue drew back, connected by a strand of saliva.

If his aim was to make you beg, he'd be disappointed. You were no more capable of speech than he had been earlier.

His fingers wrapped around the soul, pressing into it gently, and he brought it closer to his mouth. You let out a tiny, frightened noise from instinct telling you this was definitely your downfall.

Fuck, if he wanted to eat you, he could go right ahead.

That seemed to be his intent, as his tongue lapped again at you, the wide flatness of it pressing against the plane of your soul, making you writhe despite his magic's hold on you.

He was studying you with that expression, you realized, lost in those curious, solid pinpricks. He was studying you, and you were completely at his mercy. Your body shuddered and you let out a desperate whine.

You trusted him. This was a new sensation for you. You felt his own spectral hands begin to caress your body, exploring you, as if to discover everything that would break you.

His breath against your soul echoed within and without you, every sensation was so confusing, so new, so exciting. If you had half your mind right now, you’d be just as fascinated as he seemed to be.

Just when you thought you couldn't take any more, you felt and heard him growl against your soul as his tongue pressed relentlessly against it, and the vibrations mixed with the delicious sound made you whimper. He did it again, a smirk crossing his face, and it was like everything around you ceased to exist for a moment.

There was only that wash of pleasure and connection and the thrumming of his magic in your body, and in that white-hot moment of everything just melting away, you felt, rather than heard, yourself let out a cry of his name.

Everything was still dark. The magic released you, but his hands lifted you carefully, and realigned you on the bed. He pulled the covers over the both of you and cradled you to him. "anytime." He chuckled into your ear as you sank once more into oblivion.

 

***

_You must have fallen asleep, you realized, confronted with the vastness of your soul, the same path you had tread the previous night. You approached the resonance that called you forth._

 

* * *

 

_"You may choose death at our hands or death of the wilderness." The man intoned. Ashella stood, choosing between quick and painful death and potential enemy capture. Survival had always been her game, and she would play it at every turn._

_The others looked to her as she stepped forward. "I'll go." Her voice was firmer than her resolve, but if there was even the possibility of survival, she'd take it. Others stepped forward too, repeating her words. Seven in all, they were marched out of the fortress blindfolded, and released, still chained, in monster territory._

_Ashella ignored the whining of the other six and kept moving, calling the others to stay together. Eventually, they were noticed and captured. "Don't fight." She'd warned them earlier._

_Never know when you could find a way out, she kept telling herself. She just had to Persevere._

_~_

_The monsters were kind enough to remove their blindfolds, but were reluctant to unbind their arms. Ashella accepted that without protest, and the others followed her example. They were malnourished and beaten well before their exile, and they expected the same, if not worse, treatment here. Exacerbating their captor’s attitudes would be ill-advised._

_The creature heading the party that found them, a large, red, bipedal dragon, demanded they stay against the wall outside a set of modest doors. From the doors emerged a goat monster with horns that curved and coiled to point outward. His left horn’s tip was broken and the rough edge had been sanded down._

_The dragon, who the goat monster called Pyric, presented them. The intimidating tower of a creature observed the seven of them warily. “Take them to sick bay.” He said in a husky voice, full of power and demand._

_Pyric stammered. “Your Highness, they’re human.”_

_“I can see that.” The King replied patiently. “I can also see they’ve been abandoned by their own people.” He looked at the seven humans with a look of pity. “They were thrown onto our territory like garbage for us to dispose of. Are we really the demons they believe, Pyric, or are we monsters of mercy and knowledge?”_

_The dragon looked down, seeming unsure how to respond. “Sir.” He finally replied._

_“First.” The king pointed to the human nearest him. “When was your last meal?”_

_It ranged between them all. Ashella had gone the longest. She was weak on her feet, but she showed no sign other than her frail frame and sunken eyes. Pyric understood the unspoken demand and rushed off, presumably to the kitchens._

_Ashella didn’t trust these monsters. This was obviously a trap. They would simply poison them and then steal their souls upon death. She tried to hold her resolve to not eat whatever was brought to her, but she didn’t have the chance._

_She had been swaying on her feet already, but being against the wall for support held her upright enough that she didn’t remember how weak she was. She must have passed out, because now she was aware of being in a fairly comfortable bed, natural light filtering into the room to her left._

_~_

_Torbernite had heard the rumors that most of the humans were up and walking around in the sick bay. His brother hadn’t really approved of them, of course, but Torbernite shared a mind with the king-- mercy and kindness should always be at the foremost._

_Pyric was constantly reminding Torbernite that his mentality would never suit a warrior, and Torb would always rebut that it was half the reason he was not a warrior but a guard. The main reason, they both knew, was that if he were injured or even just moved wrong, he could just as easily poison or kill his allies._

_Torbernite knew from the dinner hall conversation that the sick bay was all but off limits. The healers didn’t want anyone hurting the humans, and there were so few friendly faces. The king was a busy man, and everyone else was so absorbed in this damned war…_

_To be honest, it was curiosity that drove him to the sick bay-- that and the desire to pay respects. He was hesitant, even still. Would he frighten the poor guys? He wasn’t exactly easy to look at, or so Pyric had always joked (the joke was on Pyric, though. Most preferred Torbernite any day. At least Torb knew how to smile.)_

_The humans had been in the sick bay all of a day when he decided to go. He wouldn’t be able to sleep if he didn’t know they were well. After all, if he didn’t check on them, who would? How often were they bound to see a friendly face? He would just have to make sure he didn’t poison them or scare the absolute shit out of them with his… erm… less than adorable countenance._

_~_

_This creature should have been terrifying, Ashella mused, spooning soup to her mouth as she observed him talking to the others. They were gathered around this tall, broad dragon the color of dark moss with neon sprinkles across his snout-- were those freckles? He had obsidian hair that would have spilled, held from his face by his winding horns, if it wasn’t pulled into a messy topknot._

_He was covered almost entirely with leather or fabric. The fabric had holes in it that looked like it’d been burnt. His tail was massive and fat with spines, but he’d wrapped it with what appeared to be bandages that offered little coverage after the spikes would poke through. He wore a scarf around his neck and gloves._

_If he weren’t laughing and smiling like an oaf, Ashella would have believed him quite intimidating. She listened into the story, trying not to admit to herself that the soup was actually quite good._

_“The little mite, cute little one that she is, wouldn’t let go of his neck, and he lost balance! Ghayth sprawled across the royal dining table, but managed to keep her from getting hurt or dirty-- but the egg salad was tragically burnt.”_

_It was a funny story, she had to admit. The dragon’s eyes darted to hers and he quickly looked away again. He excused himself from the others and-- was he shy?-- walked to Ashella’s bedside._

_“Hello, human. I am called Torbernite.” He smiled down at her. When he’d looked over and saw her smiling, he had been dazed. By human standards, he supposed, she wasn’t beautiful, but… there was something striking about her. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but when he had seen her smiling it was like an ocean of blooms had showered him._

_The way her eyes lit up and her grin had made those adorable little dimples… He was blushing, he knew. By the Celestials, he would love to see her keep smiling._

_“My name’s[Ashella](https://68.media.tumblr.com/7cad23d1a5cafc790a4194b877c17b8b/tumblr_ogxnkzorWS1vsxcqwo7_1280.jpg).” She responded, staring up into his strange opaque eyes._

_He couldn’t think of a less fitting name for her. He sat down on her bed and talked to her until the sun went down. Every day after that, he did the same. When she was up and walking around, and he was on guard duty, he’d take breaks to walk her around and show her the Foothold._

_Pyric called him a lovesick fool, and he couldn’t disagree. Torby was always prone to infatuation-- he was actually infamous for it!-- but this was so foreign to him. He’d never found himself attracted to a human before, even when humans and monsters had been allies, when trade was good, when everything was stable. She wasn’t the first human he’d seen, but for some reason he couldn’t get her out of his head._

_~_

_Ashella sat with the other six. “When we’re all healed, what do we do?”[Gale ](https://68.media.tumblr.com/95f94d48282e5575d103a98d895537f1/tumblr_ogxnkzorWS1vsxcqwo1_1280.jpg)asked. She was so brave and beautiful. “Do we go back? Do we stay?”_

_[Vaun](https://68.media.tumblr.com/997440abf0bc096da035facd8b778ee8/tumblr_ogxnkzorWS1vsxcqwo2_1280.jpg)shook his head. “Perhaps we should consider what led us here, take into account what we left behind and what we could gain. Returning to the sound of our own execution is hardly a good plan.” He was always so calm and wise. Ashella knew he’d been cast out for murder exacted over years of premeditation. She wondered if she could ever be as patient._

_Ashella thought of home and felt her stomach grow cold with worry. Her brother was out there fighting these monsters. He’d finally gotten out of the streets and into the army-- she was proud of him…_

_She didn’t want to be on the opposite side looking back. “If we go, we have to have something to offer them.” She said. “Something that is invaluable enough that they need us.”_

_“High words for a ration-thief.”[Mael ](https://68.media.tumblr.com/a11b8fa3e8075aad698ca04c4ca72019/tumblr_ogxnkzorWS1vsxcqwo3_1280.jpg)spat. He was always so rigid in his beliefs, set in his ways._

_Ashella sunk from the insult, but a hand on her shoulder made her look at[Trentain](https://68.media.tumblr.com/fed5ee2b5ab3fc54a8dc144a9136982c/tumblr_ogxnkzorWS1vsxcqwo4_1280.jpg), a man made of nothing but kindness-- “even higher words from a man who would steal food from the mouths of children.” His kindness hid a tendency to bite deeply and shake like a terrier fastened upon a rat. Ashella made a note to not trust him with any personal secrets._

_Mael turned his head away in arrogance. He had once been a master schemer, selling false hopes and providing the best in broken dreams-- for a price that only the hopeless could dare afford. He’d take every last coin he could find-- but gods forbid anyone call him out on his scams. It seemed his integrity only went as far as his own benefit. He was the worst kind of hypocrite-- the kind that believed he was above fair play._

_“Focus, everyone.”[Grand ](https://68.media.tumblr.com/ff84157a63a6f7017775e3ec2184c16c/tumblr_ogxnkzorWS1vsxcqwo6_1280.jpg)said, his voice low and menacing from Ashella’s other side. There was a stony glint in his dark eyes that frightened Ashella. Whereas Vaun had killed upon a grudge, this was a man who had killed on a whim. He was entirely unsettling, but he was good at getting a room to quiet. “What can we offer?”_

_“Information.”[Leigh ](https://68.media.tumblr.com/5f1a3c634a4f4e859885b79fce9dc160/tumblr_ogxnkzorWS1vsxcqwo5_1280.jpg)intoned, brow knitted in concentration. “But it would be at the price of betraying those who have taken us in so kindly.” She seemed to struggle with that, but Gale was the first to sigh in aggravation._

_“Yes, well, we should want to be on the winning team, right? Considering monsters have yet to inflict a single casualty on our kind, whereas we aim to kill… is it really that hard of a choice?” Her bright eyes pierced Leigh, who shivered._

_“I suppose you’re right, I just… would rather…”_

_“Your sense of obligation is hindersome.” Vaun commented dryly. “Kindly suppress it. It will get us all killed.”_

_“So… information. But what if there is more?” Ashella asked. “Information alone will not supply us with a pardon. We need them to **need** us or we’re just temporary tools.”_

_“What are you suggesting?” Grand asked, his eyes holding hers and making her swallow her breath. Gods, but this man frightened her._

_“We should play this all out, discover everything we can… and then use it.”_

_Trentain hitched his brow at her. “Less vague, please, dearling.”_

_She let the pet name slide this time but made a note to stomp his groin if he said it again. Trentain had been infamous as an amourous man, and while he never forced a lover, he had no regard to their other partners and would use any method at his disposal to ruin the relationship so that he could be there to pick up the pieces._

_“Secrets in the fortress, passwords, power structures, outside encampments, guard patterns, ration storage, water sources. The list goes on. It’s not that difficult.”_

_Grand’s face split into a wicked smile that made her swallow her breath. She supposed he would be attractive in his own right… but… There was something very wrong with him._

_Trentain hummed in appreciation. “Perhaps one of those tasks could be gaining favor with the locals, yes?”_

_“You mean seducing them?” Mael spat. “Disgusting.”_

_Trentain only smiled. “I can’t be the only one who would try anything twice.” He looked at Gale. “I saw that look, you naughty breeze.”_

_“You saw nothing.” She replied. “But feel free to talk if you would prefer I rip your tongue out.”_

_Leigh and Ashella found themselves chuckling._

_The deal was done, and every week they would meet to continue these talks._

 

* * *

 

You woke up tangled in limbs-- well, bones. Your phone was going off, and you picked it up, still disoriented from the lucid dreams that you needed to sort out immediately.

 

 **firedad**  
Would you like to play catch while I give you vague life advice?

 

You stared at the message for a while before noting that there was another message.

 

 **firedad**  
Do you know how to ride a bike?

 

Sans had woke up and was reading the screen. He chuckled sleepily and rolled over to go back to sleep. You got up and called Grillby, mind still reeling from the dream. Why were you dreaming of this person?

If you were a reincarnation of her… you felt your stomach twist.

“Shale!” Grillby answered his phone nigh-immediately, and you almost had the strength to smile. “Is… something wrong?” He asked after a long pause. “Oh! Do you know how to ride a bike?”

You sighed. “Yeah. Yeah, I learned how when I was younger.”

There was a pause. You could feel his disappointment. “Have you, by chance, forgotten how to ride a bike?”

You giggled to yourself, unable to help it. “One does not simply forget how to ride a bike. Surely you understand that, right?”

“I’m afraid not. Until I watched this movie, I did not know humans had bicycles. Though, looking back on it, I suppose I should have, but I do not visit the dump.”

He was rambling now, and his exhaustion showed. “Hey, hey, calm down. Do you want to learn how to ride a bike? If you have one, I’ll show you.”

Another pause. “I am a terrible father.”

“Why? Because you don’t know how to ride a bike?”

“Yessss.” He hissed.

You sighed, and remembered a detail from your dream. “Ashella.”

Grillby quit making noise. “What?” He asked at last.

“Was her name Ashella? Torbernite’s mate?”

“Please come to the bar, if you can. This is best discussed in person and not over meltable plastic hardware.”

You agreed and poked Sans. “I’m going to Snowdin. Want some ketchup?”

You said the magic word. “i know a shortcut.” He said, still not fully awake.

“Be right there, Dad.” You muttered, hanging up.

Grillby put the phone down before he could melt it. Being called Dad was nice, but he had hardly noticed, sadly.

It made sense now. It made too much sense.

It explained everything, and he waited, wondering which expression he’d see in your eyes. Was that Perseverance yours or…

You and Sans appeared in the doorway to the bar, and Grillby stared at you, relieved to see that, although it wasn’t much better, you were not Ashella. Because Ashella had never been full of DETERMINATION.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will have even more feels. We'll finally meet Shale's mom, finally see what happened to Torby (though, secretly, there might be spoilers hidden somewhere around here...)
> 
> Oh, gods, though, you guys are gonna love the Torby/Ashe feels next chapter. PREPARE YOURSELF BECAUSE IT'S GONNA HURT!
> 
> Btw, if anyone wants to dissect the performance songs' lyrics and take a stab in the dark as to what's going to happen soon, I'd absolutely love to hear what you come up with! It seriously makes my day to read your comments. I don't care how random it is, my guy, they could be eating doughnuts in your theory, i'll love it.


	38. Regret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lovable Torbernite is lovable.  
> Why did Toriel leave Asgore?  
> How is everyone holding up?
> 
> ...and (my computer crashed T.T) stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, my computer has crashed. I might have lost ALL my notes, but fear not, all the very important bits I have either saved on google docs somewhere, or lined up in my head. It's just a matter of connecting the dots.
> 
> I hoped to get this story FINISHED entirely this month-- but right now my only option is to type the majority of the story on my phone or tablet-- which I can't do for shit.
> 
> December is going to be harder because I want to take a break and write something slightly seasonal, but if I can't get a laptop by then, i'll have to postpone it, despite my wants.
> 
> But I sincerely apologize for the size of this chapter. It's small. I'm sorry. But being as how I have had next to no time to type/edit, this is the best I can do at the moment until I get more time/access to put out quantity.
> 
> CHECK THE END NOTES FOR AN IMPORTANT THING! IT IS LABLED AS IMPORTANT THING! PLEASE READ IT!

_Ashella made the mistake of jokingly implying the brothers weren’t related, as they looked nothing alike. Torby took a personal offense to this and was shouting animatedly. Everyone in the mess hall outside of the group of friends was pointedly trying to ignore the amiable dragon’s ravings._

_“WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE LOOK NOTHING ALIKE?! MY BROTHER AND I ARE TWINS! CAN’T YOU SEE THE LOVELY SHADES OF SILVER WE ARE?”_

_Ashella, as well as a few of the people at the table, were left staring in absolute confusion at the green dragon. A few furtive glances at Pyric had a nearly everyone snorting into their cups._

_“You tell him.” Ghayth said to her, but she couldn’t understand._

_“Tell me what?” Torby asked innocently, if with a bit of aggravation._

_Ashella put her face in her hands. How was she going to do this? Well, a nice place to start would be… “Torby, what color is my hair?” Often people would tease Ghayth that he'd set her head on fire or some such nonsense. He resented the remarks slightly, that he should have so very little control._

_“A lovely shade of shiny silver! Especially breathtaking in the sunlight!” He grinned sweetly at her, and Pyric coughed and covered his face to hide his smirk._

_“Oh gods, you’re actually colorblind.” She realized. “And…” She tried to figure out a way to tell him gently but failed. “Okay. So you… can’t see colors.”_

_He laughed. “Of course I can! There’s light silver, dark silver, slightly darker silver, grey, blue, bluish-silver, brown…”_

_“Torby… there are not that many silvers. Those are supposed to be greens and reds and…” She couldn’t stand it anymore. “YOU CAN’T SEE WHAT COLOR YOU ARE YOU’RE NOT SILVER YOU’RE GODSDAMNED GREEN!” She took a deep breath, laughter bubbling up. She pointed at Pyric. “He’s RED. My hair is also RED!”_

_Torby looked at her and cocked his head. “Wait… if… so…” He pointed at Ghayth. “So he’s not white?”_

_Pyric’s head hit the table with enough force to dent it as everyone erupted in hysterics. Ghayth himself shook his head and excused himself to find a stiff drink._

 

* * *

 

 

Grillby shook off the tethers of memory as he finished telling you the one pleasant memory he had of Ashella. You and Sans were laughing, but Grillby remained stoic, pouring himself a shot, though he didn't really intend to drink it. It would be unwise to drink in his current mindset.

“Of the seven humans, Ashella was the only one I interacted with. Asgore was in charge of training them, since I was busy and Pyric was… too abrasive.” He sounded bitter. “If any of us had been less trusting than Pyric, perhaps the betrayal would have been caught sooner. But…” He looked at you and Sans with a very hard glint in his eyes. “What I am about to tell you is to never be repeated, especially not to Toriel.”

You leaned forward on the table. “What is it?” Sans was likewise interested, though he only relaxed against the bar and looked at Grillby lazily, listening in but too tired to speak up.

Grillby sighed. “The king was a busy… stressed man. The queen was spending all her time teaching Toriel how to heal, how to protect herself. Then there was a battle that left quite a few injured. The healers were spread thin, many of them becoming battle-clerics to avoid on-field deaths. The queen, though, Toriel’s mother. She pushed herself, helping the healers, and… Well, much like Toriel herself, she never was much for backing down if she felt it was her duty.”

Grillby remembered the respect he had for the kind woman, even if it was tinged with awkwardness. “She started slipping. She didn’t rest, she didn’t eat. Just healed, directed, and when she was too exhausted to cast anymore, she took to changing linens, doing minor chores. It seemed like she was reluctant to go back to bed, I thought… She became ill, but she kept it a secret until she pushed herself too hard and fell.”

He looked at you, hoping to see some encouragement to go on. You were both listening, much more awake now. He nodded and continued. He didn't want to say this twice. “She was on her deathbed for less than a week before the king took a human lover. I can't remember her name… no, no… it was something close to mine, wasn't it?”

You thought of the lovely girl with the strength of conviction, with the long hair and short fuse. The reckless woman with fiery eyes and blinding confidence. “Gale?”

Grillby snapped to attention. “Perhaps.” He thought for another moment. “But she and the king were becoming involved. Perhaps he was grieving and she was there to comfort him, but regardless, it was an unspoken rule to never mention it. Not that we didn’t approve of human and monster couplings--in fact, that was a hope for reconciliation of our races, an end to the war other than bloodshed-- it was merely… Toriel, young and in total denial, did not want to know. She didn't resent the humans, but after that started, she spoke to them very little. She didn't speak to her father, either, that I'm aware.”

You and Sans stared at Grillby for a moment. Something didn't add up here. Before you could ask, he continued. “Her spite for humans grew after the Raid took her parents, many civilians, and Torb. If it hadn’t been for him, she would have been killed as well.”

Sans was the one who asked. “so if she hated humans so much, why did she take to one so easily down here?”

Grillby didn't look surprised, but he also didn't look pleased. “She changed after Asriel was born. She was happier than I remember seeing her in… decades. The happy childhood she was robbed of could finally be passed on to a child who would never know how close to total genocide they’d been.” He paused. “And when Chara fell, that changed again. She didn't see a human, she saw a scared child. She saw something she could save-- she saw the same possibility her father did, of peace between two peoples.”

Why did he look so bitter about that?

Quietly, he spoke up. “Do you know why Toriel left? Why I quit the guard?” He was looking pensively at the shot of alcohol. Pondering if it was still a bad idea-- well, if knowing it was a bad idea was enough to combat the consequences. To drag the past up like this, he might need the drink.

 

* * *

 

 

Asgore sat in his flowerpot, as he so often did, and ruminated on his thoughts.

He remembered the resentment Toriel had told him about in trust. She’d told him her parents had been screaming at each other, and her mother had stormed out, saying “I will go heal our people, because _they don't have the luxury you do_ , sitting here in denial as they die in a war you pretend isn't happening, as if that will make it go away!”

She confided that she hated her dad for making her mother do that. For not trying to fix things. She confided that she wasn't blind, she knew Gale wasn't just a guard, hadn't gotten her powers from nowhere. Toriel knew, she knew and it hurt. She wanted to forgive her father, but she didn't think she could-- not when her mother was still dying in the infirmary, not even conscious enough to rebuke him.

When the children had died… he'd become much like Toriel had been during the war. Bitter, angry-- but it was more. The rage of the people also weighed on him.

Toriel was raw. He expected anger, he expected regression. He expected her to want to kill them all, but when she was kneeling in the flowers over the dust-covered corpse of Chara, it wasn't anger at humans she felt. She couldn't understand her own feelings, but there was a difference in how she viewed humans now. She remembered healing Chara, praying she could stop their crying, praying they wouldn't hurt anymore. Regardless of birth, that was _her child_.

Humans were like monsters in that they had a family somewhere. Every one of them had a mother, a father, a child, or a sibling to go home to-- and the ones who didn't, the ones who would throw themselves into the darkness, into what could only be death… She would never understand being shunned, being cast from her family, from her race, but she could understand the need for love. The need for a hug when everything is falling apart.

She harbored no love for all humans, but for a child who needed help, one who had been treated much like monsters had, long ago-- she would fight until there was nothing left to protect them. “Asgore, declaring war on humans is a fruitless endeavor.” She'd said it coldly, days later when he'd announced it to the people who needed a reason to go on.

“This is for the hope of the people.” He said, incredulous. “I thought you'd understand that.”

She growled and looked away. “It won't bring them back, you idiot. Do you think they would want this?”

“Honestly, yes.”

“They were _children_. Even if they did want this, they wouldn't understand! That's why we have to be _parents_. This is a job even now!” She was crying, even though she thought she’d never cry again. The days had been long, the nights longer. She’d sobbed through it all, and the moment she had dried up, he'd dropped this on her.

“For what children, though, Tori. Tell me that.”

“Our _people_ , Asgore. Our _people_ are our children. If we set the example that killing in counter is the best option, even if it does restore hope, what good is that?” Asgore tried to speak over her, but she went on, and he listened because gods, he wanted to believe her. In post, he wished he’d listened better. “If we tell them that killing children just like Chara is the only way to be happy… If we tell them that all humans are bad because we've never met a good one-- Asgore, did you not love them?” She sounded shocked, sounded hurt. Angry.

He took a breath. He was angry too. He wishes now that he had just stayed silent. “What would you advise, _Your Highness_?”

The growl of her title made her feel cold, and she snapped back, “Show mercy, of course!” She said it in such a condescending way, as if he'd asked why they were underground and she'd replied “The Barrier, dumbass!” If there was one thing Asgore couldn't stand more than anything else, it was being talked down to.

“Worked very well for your father, didn't it? For someone who hates the decisions he made, you're quick to go the same path, aren't you?”

Toriel looked like she’d been slapped. When she spoke again, her voice was colder than he’d heard in years. Never directed at him, until now-- and he realized that she _was_ remarkably like her father. Her words were law, her gaze was steady, her will unwavering… but he could see her flushing with rage, her mouth trembling as she said it again, louder.

She couldn't have said that. Asgore felt his heart plummet.

“I hate you.” She said it a third time, and through the bond, he could feel that she meant it. She was choking on her sobs, and she covered her face as her mind spun.

Regret, immense and cold, made him step closer to her. “Tori, no, I--”

She lashed out, punching at him, but he dodged, reflexes still quick after so many centuries. He tried to hold her, but she encased herself with fire, glaring at him through it, eyes streaming with bitter, furious tears. “No.” She said, and turned away from him.

She let the flames die away, but only after locking herself away in the children’s room. She sat there, her back to the door, as she stared at the empty beds. She began thinking. She began planning. And when Asgore left that morning, she stayed in that room. He could feel her there, seething, hurt.

Spite. That was what drove her to the Ruins, wasn't it? He felt her leave, felt her waver for a split second as she shut the door… and he wanted to follow her, wanted to beg her to stay, but he could feel her rage, even as the distance increased. For years, he would think of that moment of hesitation. He’d wonder if he could have made her stay.

He was ashamed. He called Ghayth, told him everything, and his friend watched him with no small amount of revulsion. Asgore pleaded, “Please, go and bring her back.”

“She is old enough to make her own decisions, Asgore.” Ghayth had reminded him, patient but obviously upset.

“Make sure she’s okay. Tell her I love her.” He begged.

Ghayth shook his head. He and Asgore had been friends before the crowning, but Ghayth’s loyalty had always been to the little girl he’d guarded. His friend’s lack of tact and empathy was his own fault, and if Ghayth sought Toriel out, it would be of his own concerns.

“You understand, don’t you, Ghayth? War is the better choice.” The king locked eyes with the captain, and found no encouragement. Asgore sat back, looking stupefied, feeling hollow and heavy. Even his best friend, who had hated humans so much-- perhaps only rivalling Winoc-- couldn't agree with him.

Ghayth finally spoke. “I’m tired of dustshed, Asgore. Think of everyone we lost. Would you subject our people to that again, even in a hundred more years?”

Asgore put his head in his hands, and he finally let himself cry. “What do I do, Ghayth?” He asked desperately, wetly. “What future can I offer our people otherwise?”

Ghayth couldn't answer him. When Asgore looked up, he realized just how alone he was. He blotted his face with the end of his cape ( _Toriel would kill me if she saw me do that_ \-- the thought was followed by immense sadness and a desire for her to be around to see him do _anything_ )

Asgore came out of his reverie, wiping fresh tears away with his leaves. Whatever had happened in the past years had brought Toriel back to him. Why would he endanger that?

He looked around and summoned a weak tendril outside of the pot. It couldn't move, it was useless apart from him. It offered no way to get out… but it proved to be an adequate exercise for his magic. Still, he couldn't seem to summon his weapon, the weapon he’d hidden behind in battle, the one he’d used…

Toriel had been right. But by the time he really understood that, he had already killed a child, and with them, any chance at getting her back. He hated himself, but it was no solace, no penance, for the lives he took. He didn't feel any better, either, knowing that he couldn't remember a few of them, since they fell in the gap of his memory.

He didn't feel any better knowing that a child killed him, either. In fact, he wondered if maybe he should have stayed dead. His grip on his magic dried up, and the vine withered and disappeared. He sighed and decided to sleep until someone remembered he was down here.

 

* * *

 

 

You and Sans were on your way to Hotland. You had explained your dreams to Grillby, and he shared in the memories with you-- and upon the mention of Ashella’s death, he didn't even react. He didn't look satisfied. He didn't look angry.

“so we can almost guarantee she’s your ancestor, right?” Sans prompted as the two of you walked. “makes sense, if she bonded with that dragon. i mean, you come by it honest, then.”

You could only nod along to what he said. “Hey, Sans, why did she curse us?” He was silent and you went on, softly. “Why did she have to do that? She said none of us can find love until the barrier is broken, and now that I think of it, I've never even _seen_ a happy, healthy relationship before I came down here.”

He was quiet for a moment. “are you afraid we won't work?”

You felt your throat swell with tears you wanted to suppress. “I refuse to… give up on this because of that curse. Plus…” You cleared your throat and looked at him with a large amount of fragile hope, looking for support in your statement. “If we break the Barrier, we’re good, right?”

He was holding your hand, his thumb stroking over a scar on your palm. “i won’t give up if you don't.”

 

* * *

 

 

~~Let my line never know love unless from the hand of death until my wrong is righted.~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone knows of a good and relatively cheap source for laptops, please tell me I am in desperate need.
> 
> Also, my birthday is on Nov 20th (four days from when I'm posting this). Irrelevant, but why not mention it.
> 
> IMPORTANT THING!   
> I'm drawing all of my ocs, or attempting to, as I'm honestly kinda shitty at art-ing. I have most of the Mages, and a couple of the pre-war monsters done, as well as Ashe's brother Devit. If you have any requests of characters from the fic you'd like to see next, drop me a comment or an ask!


	39. Reunions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Various ancestors of yours are vying for your attention and you get to ugly cry about a song.
> 
> ...and stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good news: I bought a touchscreen laptop.  
> Bad news: I literally just lost my job.  
> Good news: I should be okay and find it easy to either get unemployment or go back to work at the game shop.  
> More Good news: I should have more time to be creative.  
> Even more Good news: There's an Undertale Holiday Collection that i'm trying to get together. It's not too late to enter, it can be any subject/pairing (please tag it though) and any length. If you're interested, please feel free to enter! I want everyone in the fandom to interact. No one should be alone during the holidays.

You felt odd, sitting at the computer, picking lint off your tank top. It was now or never, you reminded yourself for the fifth time and shook the mouse.

You hadn’t expected Alphys to have left something up, much less for there to be a note pulled up with your name very visible at the top.

_Birdy,_

_i don’t know if i’ve told you lately, but you’re incredible. i saw the performance at the bar, where you sang that song i showed you. you said it was just a song but… (shit, how do i word this?) um i know the feeling, kinda?_

_i just wanted to tell you you’re not alone. i look up to you. we all love you-- and i’ve never seen sans as happy as he is now._

_please don’t get so caught up in taking it one day at a time that you forget that today is beautiful because you’re here with us. you can be our future, but to me you’re a friend who needs a hug. uh, but I’m actually kinda bad with words in person so…_

_you understand what I’m trying to say though, right? (i hope so.)_

_well… i need to show you this. whatever it is you’re afraid of, i want you to remember that your abilities stretch further than we can see. i believe in you._

_thank you for giving me something to believe in, Birdy._

You were certainly _not crying_.

You minimized the note and saw the video on the browser she’d left up. This must be what she meant by “show you this” you figured, and hit the replay button.

You had a feeling about this song already as it started, and you were afraid it would be too much feelings. Immediately, as the lyrics began to flash on the screen, you realized you were right.

_A “disappointment” I was said to be. So where am I to find a decent future? I noticed I was being called scum, being pointlessly wounded, I holed away, alone._

_Wherever I run, wherever I hide, I’ve always got a feeling I’m being laughed at. It’s regrettable. It’s sorrowful. But I don’t even dare to look back._

You didn’t want to admit that you still felt that way, but having your breakdown over Ko so recently made it impossible for you to hide the truth, even from yourself. Had you been so open? Did everyone know just how much you hated yourself?

No, you didn’t hate yourself. You didn’t even hate the person you were with him. You swallowed your feelings and focused on the song as it continued into what sounded like a chorus.

_No one yet knows my true power, but one of these days I’ll have to show it to you. Make me out a fool, make me out a phony. There’s no helping it for now._

Ouch. Maybe you _were_ that transparent. But it was right. There was no helping it for now. With the threat of gods-knew-what looming over all of existence, what could you really do? The song continued to bleed your emotions, and you listened and read along. You needed this right now. This abrasive, call-out type of healing.

_Everyone seems to be enjoying themselves so. Even when I’ve traveled so far, it never changes, it never will, stuck in such a cramped room._

It was true. You’d come so far in the months of being here, but you were still the same wreck, just with new friends who loved you, wreckage and all. You were afraid to break the tense bubble of happiness around everyone, especially because they’d taken pains to make sure the bubble was around you, as well.

_No one yet knows my true determination, but one of these days I’ll have to ask you. I’m worthless now. I’m trash today. But surely, come tomorrow…_

Take it one day at a time, huh? Is that the message? You wondered, but the change in the song told you it was about to get real. You didn’t bother preparing yourself, silently hoping that whatever was to come would hurt enough to get through to you under all the depressive funk you’d been drowning in for the past few days.

_Let’s get serious. Let’s show off our all. Let’s chant a spell and become unstoppable. Let’s put on a bluff and even if some snort-- Now behold, let them feast their eyes on this!_

_For all the me’s, from today to the past. For all the you’s, from tearful nights to the future-- tattarattatta…_

_I’ll go out. I’ll walk through town. It’s so very painful. But I’ll go to meet you._

Your speaker began hissing at some point, and you forced it to be quiet. But it wasn’t done yet, and you weren’t sure you could take much more without crying again.

_No one yet knows my true power, but soon enough I’ll have to show it to you! Make me out a fool, make me out a phony. For now, this is just my limit!_

_You’ve drawn out a magnificent future, and, as I am now, it can’t come for me! So I won’t forget. So it won’t perish. Whether ugly or beautiful, I’ll struggle for you!_

Yep, you were dangerously close to ugly crying now. Was this about her admiring you, or did she choose this song knowing how it would effect you, remind you that even if the persona of Shale was a fictionalized thing that in no way truly meant anything despite what people thought it did, it was what had started this growth into who you are. It was what helped you struggle. It was what saved you. It was your Determination incarnate.

_I’m only just getting started. “Now” is only just getting started. Not yet for me, not yet for now._

_But now let’s get serious. Let’s show off our all. Let’s chant a spell and become unstoppable. Let’s put on a bluff and even if some snort-- Now behold, let them feast their eyes on this!_

_For all the me’s, from today to the past. For all the you’s, from tearful nights to the future-- Tattarattatta-- So we might smile._

You stared at the screen for a few moments after the song stopped. You mopped your face and cradled your head for a moment before hitting replay.

This song could get you through today, couldn’t it? Even if your mother freaked out about something, maybe this song was right? Who you are becoming, who you want to be, is more powerful than what the humans stomping around above your head would ever have seen.

You gave a watery chuckle, imagining your childhood bullies trying to mess with you, a dragon. You tried to imagine your first real crush making you, a dragon, look like a fool.

Your smile faded. You tried to imagine Ko trying to hit you, a dragon.

The music cut off, and you realized it was because you had a video call coming in. You squeaked in mortification and checked yourself to see if you looked okay before shakily positioning the mouse over the accept button-- and you slipped, hitting refuse.

“Dammit!” You tried calling back, holding your breath-- it took a full three, tense minutes to sort out the issue of both of you trying to call each other simultaneously. When BOTH the video AND the audio were functional, you and your mother finally saw each other for the first time since you had changed everything about yourself.

It felt almost wrong to see that she hadn’t changed at all.

She said your birth name, and you flinched. “I… uh, I don’t really go by that anymore.”

“Why not?”

“It just… hurts. Feels wrong.”

She looked a bit stung by that but didn’t argue further. “So. Tell me where you are.”

“Would you believe me if I told you I’m underground?”

“Where, exactly --ugh. What _do_ I call you?”

“Shale. Call me Shale.”

“Shale? What kind of a name is that?”

“One that feels right.” You almost said “the one my dad gave me.” but that would have been the start of a conversation she was not ready for.

She sighed and made a gesture you knew to mean “whatever, okay” and just like that, she stumbled her way through small talk, trying her damnedest to call you Shale.

“I was so afraid he’d killed you, you know.” And so the topic inevitably turned to Ko.

“He tried to, mom.” You waited for her to say “I told you so.”

“You told me he didn’t do it. You told me to mind my own business. That’s why I gave you your space. Why didn’t you let me help?”

“Because I didn’t think there was any help I could get. He’s invincible, mom. If he got caught with blood on his hands and a murder weapon in his pocket, he’d still get away with it because he's a rich, straight, white boy in a republican, christian town. I didn’t want to put you in danger, and…”

She said your birth name again, and you flinched. “Sorry. Shale.” Her voice still had the weight to it. “Look. The law is the only thing keeping me from hunting him down and cutting his hands off and shoving them up his ass. He raised his fists to my baby. He hurt you.” She took a deep breath. “But you’re alive, and you’re okay, and… well, you look healthier than I’ve ever seen you.”

A door opened behind you and you paled. “--CAN’T BELIEVE THAT THE LYRICS WERE NOT AS I SAID. MINE MAKES A BETTER STORY AND--” The worst had happened. Papyrus had found you, left off mid-sentence, and rushed to see you, stepping directly into your mother’s line of sight.

“HUMAN-SHALE! EVERYTHING IS OKAY NOW, I’M SURE YOU WERE WORRIED SICK OVER METTATON BUT HE’S FINE NOW!” You watched your mother’s face, not turning to see Papyrus as you watched your mother go paler than you. Her mouth opened and closed and then opened again, and she screamed.

“ _You’re not alive, you’re in HELL!!!_ ” She cried out.

He looked at the monitor and smiled, though you knew your mother would only see a skeleton with hollow sockets shouting into the camera. “HELLO HUMAN! I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS. DO YOU KNOW MY FRIEND HERE?”

Undyne rushed forward and grappled Papyrus, pulling him away, with Alphys close behind her, apologizing to you profusely. Mettaton cried out from the doorway sarcastically that he was totally fine and didn’t need help walking at all.

Every bit of this was in your mother’s vision.

Her screaming had almost subsided when Sans appeared out of nowhere next to you and she started up again. “THERE ARE TWO!”

Well, this was fucked, you decided. Maybe a Reset wasn’t such a bad thing after all.

Well, since this chat had gone exactly as it shouldn’t have, you decided to address what would inevitably be one helluva elephant in the room. “Hey mom, uh… This is my boyfriend.” You gestured at Sans. “Please don’t faint.” You added belatedly.

She stopped to breathe, taking deep gulps of air and letting them out in screechy pants. “Mom, you’re hyperventilating, please get up and make a cup of tea, okay? I’ll still be here.”

“Will they?” She wheezed.

You looked around at them. “Most likely. But, Mom, listen! They’re good people. I just…” You stopped, and she stared at you, waiting anxiously for you to continue. “They’ve helped me. I don’t know if I’d have survived without them.”

Alphys chuckled nervously and mentioned when you were sick and almost died from the fever. Your mother chuckled dryly. “Yeah, good luck getting… _Shale_ to go to a doctor.”

Alphys looked up at the camera. “I’m a doctor.” She said it clearly, with confidence.

Your mother looked impressed. She looked back at you. “Okay. I’m going to make tea. And then you’re going to go back to the beginning and tell me who all of those… people? are?”

You nodded. “Yes, please get some tea. This is going to be a long story. And you can’t tell anyone.”

“Who the actual fuck would I tell?” She coughed. You could hear her up and walking around, the clatter of the kettle against her gas stove. “Who would believe me? I’m one step from the nuthouse anyway, please don’t encourage me to put myself there.”

“You’re not questioning your sanity?”

“Of course I am. But I’m also going to screencap all these… people?”

“They’re people mom, just not human.”

“So you’re in hell? They’re demons?”

“Nope and nope. I’m underground, in a volcano, actually. And they’re monsters. Not demons.”

“What’s the difference?” She asked sourly. “How do I know they’re not--”

“WOW SHE EVEN SOUNDS LIKE YOU!” Papyrus said. “IS THIS YOUR MOTHER THAT MAKES THE SPAGHETTI?”

“Yes, Paps.” You said, massaging your brow. “This is my mother.”

“I’M SO GLAD! IT APPEARS SHE VERY MUCH LOVES YOU AND WANTS TO MAKE SURE YOU’RE SAFE! I UNDERSTAND WHY SHE FEELS THE NEED TO JUDGE US.” That last bit, you were certain, was at least partially sarcasm.

You chuckled. “Pap, you’re overloading the mic. Tone it down a notch. And go get Mettaton. I’m sure he’d love to be part of this.”

“Toriel and Muffet are on their way, too.” Undyne muttered to you, quietly enough that the microphone wouldn’t pick it up, especially with Papyrus still carrying a one-sided conversation with your mother.

“Why?”

“I… might have let it slip to Toriel that this is going on and she insists she meets your mother. Muffet is just along for the ride.”

When you looked back to the camera, you realized the conversation wasn’t one-sided anymore, and that Papyrus was doing his best to stage-whisper into the mic so he didn’t overload it. Your mother was absolutely charmed.

“I’m glad you enjoyed my recipe, but I assure you, and you can ask Shale this, _I_ make it a hundred times better.”

Papyrus looked at you with stars in his sockets. “IS IT TRUE?!”

“Very true.” You agreed.

Sans chuckled, and your mother shifted her attention directly to him. “And _you_.” She said. “You’re dating my child?”

“Mom!”

“yes, ma’am, i am.” He said respectfully, and you held your breath, knowing what he was going to do. “thank you for **raisin** them so well.”

There was a silence, as Papyrus pantomimed his anger, only remaining quiet by force of will and the desire to not burst your mother’s ears. “What?” She asked at last.

“It was a pun, mom. Get it? Date, raisin?”

Her face screwed up and she busted out laughing. Mettaton poked your shoulder. “I see where you get it now.”

“Yes, my laugh is obnoxious.” You agreed.

“Not obnoxious. _Mine_ is obnoxious!” Undyne argued.

"Ugh! Agreed." Mettaton remarked.

The rest of the time before Toriel and Muffet arrived, you spent telling your mother everything that had happened, with everyone’s help. She demanded a copy of Phantom of the Underground and also wanted Alphys to email her every concert you’d done so far.

 

* * *

 

Before coming to your side, Sans had been sitting in his room, looking around and wondering when it had ceased to feel like his room. The room felt empty, even filled with dirty socks and trash. To avoid the deathly emptiness, he remembered his hunch and decided to open the little pocket in reality and allow his blaster friend to roam around the room.

“can you understand me?” He asked it after a couple moments of the creature nosing around. It turned to look at him and snorted in aggravation. “i’ll take that as a yes.”

The blaster lay down on the ground, pinpricks focused on him, attentive. “hey, play a game with me. can you do that? just wanna know if you have words for things.” He waited for some form of response. “uh... what color is my jacket.” He grabbed the fabric between his fingers and waited for a response.

The creature gave a distinctive trill, and Sans asked it to repeat it. It did. He knew then that he was on the right track-- and he should have thought of doing this years ago.

“ok… so the sheets.” He pointed at the huge ball of sheets behind him on the mattress, and the creature made another, very different noise. Sans once again had him repeat it. He looked around for anything that wasn’t green or blue and found a sock with purple toes and heels. He held it up, ignoring the smell, and pointed at the purple. “what’s this one?” The creature seemed to have a bit of a problem, but eventually trilled a response. It sounded weirdly similar to the one for green, but he assumed it was a language difference and figured he’d understand with enough notes. Now was just proving to himself that the creature could understand.

There was an ugly christmas sock half-under his mattress and he pulled it out. It was bright, gaudy red, with what was most likely ketchup stains on the sole. Oh, he remembered how that happened, now. Gross, even by his standards. How did he not find it when he cleaned the room for Love Day?

“what about this one?”

The blaster trilled, but Sans stared at it. “uh... what were the sheets again?” It was that same noise. “and this sock?” Yes, that was definitely the same noise.

He felt you begin to panic through the bond and realized he’d not even noticed how distraught you were until now. He’d really been getting into this, hadn’t he?

Hurriedly, he stuffed the blaster back into the pocket of the Void and threw himself through a shortcut with reckless abandon. Belatedly, he noticed he was still holding the sock, and he stealthily threw it away in Alphys’s garbage can, hoping to god that he didn’t get caught doing so.

 

* * *

 

Your mother and Toriel got along famously. You were relieved. Their conversation, spanning two hours, finally ended with your mom saying “Well, I feel much better knowing you’re taking care of my child.”

“Thank you.” Toriel smiled sweetly and inclined her head. “I’m glad to have finally met you. They told me so much about you, after all.”

“Me or my cooking?” She asked with a smile.

“Both. If ever we meet in person, we simply must exchange recipes.” Muffet piped up in the background that it would be a lovely time, and your mother, to her merit, looked thrilled by the prospect, if a bit exhausted. If you were an introvert, she was a hermit. Interaction tired her out quicker than she could recharge, and monsters were incredibly high-energy. She would likely be recovering for the rest of the week.

Everyone left you alone to talk with your mother, Sans lingering out of sight of the camera, near enough for you to know he was there for support.

“So, mom… did you find anything on Ashella the Viper?”

“No… I mean, I guess it doesn’t mean she didn’t exist, just that we don’t have a record of her on my side.”

You remembered her death, where she’d gone to pains to be forgotten by time. But why?

“Well…” Your mother looked sheepish. “I need to get ready for bed. I’m gonna hate getting up for work tomorrow.”

“What time is it, mom? I’m underground, so time is different here.”

“It’s midnight.” She said with a sigh. “Hell, I’m tempted to ask where that hole is so I can jump down too. I hate working. I hate it up here.”

“You’re in no shape to jump into a deep hole.”

“Put some kind of net or something. I want to see you.”

“Mom, please. Just… listen. If all goes well, I might be able to visit you soon.”

“Yeah, but what about Papyrus? And Toriel?” She was pouting, you realized.

“If all goes well,” You repeated.

“You said there was a barrier, right? How are you gonna break it?”

“I don’t know, but I’m going to figure it out.” You said, not wanting to worry her with the details the others still didn’t know. About Gaster, about Flowey, about the missing souls... Her entire world was rocking right now. You didn’t know when it would capsize under all this new information. Whatever strand of reality she was clutching to so desperately, it was strong and you didn’t want to inadvertently clip it.

You said goodbye, and after you disconnected, you sat there for a few minutes in front of the computer, unsure what to think. “That simultaneously couldn’t have gone better or worse.”

“I’m surprised she was able to keep talking at all.” Mettaton said from a distance. “I thought for sure she ruptured her vocals.”

Alphys approached you and you pulled her into a hug before she could say anything else. “Thank you.” You finally said, and the moment of stiffness and hesitation melted. She hugged back. You said it again and tried not to cry.

“You look tired, Birdy.” Undyne said. “You should go get some rest.”

Sans took your hand. “i agree. c’mon, let’s get you to bed.”

Back in your room, you let him tuck you into bed, and reached for him, but he didn’t lay down next to you. “i’m working on something. gonna run to my lab, grab a recorder and a notepad, see if i can get the hang of this language the blasters speak.”

“Oh my god, yes! That’s awesome! I could talk to them!” You said sleepily. Hesitantly, you spoke again, softer. “Could you stay until I fall asleep, though?”

He nodded and sat down on the bed. You grasped the soft fabric of his hoodie and fell asleep almost instantly.

 

* * *

 

_The queen was on her deathbed, and who was there to comfort the king other than Gale? Leigh had found love with the sweet but talkative Galenos, a tortoise monster who fought alongside his brother in Asgore’s division. It seemed that even Mael had found a partner for the cold nights, but still Ashella wavered. The only monster she felt even slightly safe around was Torbernite, and as sweet as he was, she wasn’t sure if she could survive his company._

_He’d made it plain that he was toxic. Still she persisted in talking to him, spending time with him. Torbernite began to ask himself when that infatuation of his would fade. He took every chance he could to spend time with her, matching her efforts every step of the way. He did everything he could to ensure her safety._

_His brother had quit talking to him in a fit of fiery rage. “She’ll be the death of you, you fucking idiot!” Pyric had yelled-- and Torbernite had had enough._

_“Then I’ll die having done what I felt was right.” He had snapped back, and… Torbernite had never had to be truly alone before. His brother had been the only creature immune to his natural toxin, and so now he had no one with whom to relax. Still, he wouldn’t back down. The trait the brothers shared was their stubborn pride._

_Ashella didn’t like that she was what had come between the brothers, but Torbernite refused to fall apart in front of her, though she was the one who saw him closest to his sadness. She took to sitting with him and Ghayth in the mess hall. Eventually, the other soldiers of Ghayth’s squadron took to her, and she was welcome amongst them._

_She didn’t have the courage to tell the other humans that it wasn’t just her desire to build a network of potential guardians if everything went awry. She wasn’t stupid enough to confide to them that she was reconsidering her stance. After all, could she betray her race? Her brother?_

_Ashella would distance herself for days at a time, but come back stronger. Torbernite was confused, but what could he say? He was trying to work out a way to ask her how she really felt-- After all, no one else he’d ever fallen for had ever responded. He couldn’t blame any of them for saying no-- he was toxic and if he didn’t concentrate on his magic at all times he could poison someone with a simple touch. The act of sleeping next to someone could kill them._

_This budding relationship with Ashella was troublesome, though. She didn’t seem to care that he was deadly. She would always give ample warning before trying to touch him, even when he wore his gloves, armor, and scarf. He couldn’t avoid his feelings in those moments, because by the gods if he didn’t absolutely_ purr _when she touched him._

_Was it because she was the first, or did he truly love her, though?_

_~_

_Ashella sat with Leigh and Gale, and Gale smiled wide at them, the small whirlwind in her hands dissipating. “I don’t have enough energy to do much more than this, but Toggy said he’ll teach me more tomorrow.” It was very disconcerting to hear the king of monsters, brutish-looking and overall intimidating, referred to as a petname. But that wasn’t important right now--_

_Gale had discovered that bonding with a monster had a strange side effect._

_Leigh looked shy, her smile as breathtaking as it was rare. “I asked Galenos yesterday… he said yes.”_

_Gale looked to Ashella. “Come on, hun, you’ve gotta do it now. It’s your turn. Imagine how badass it’ll be! Maybe you can vomit rocks or something.” She teased. “Just think, Ashe. You were right. This is just what we needed to get home!”_

_Ashe felt her stomach grow cold._

_Leigh’s eyes were wide, and her smile had frozen and begun to twitch at the corner, “You still want to go home? Isn’t….” She lowered her voice, in case Grand came by. “Isn’t this home, now?”_

_Gale shrugged. “Options.”_

_“What about the king?” Ashella asked quietly._

_“It was his idea for me to tell you guys. He hopes that we can be the turning point of the war. He thinks we can help bring peace, or end the war quickly enough that fewer lives are lost in the end.” She hesitated. “He’s making me sit down and talk with that skeleton, though. The weird, funny one with the big cut in their head. Taking notes.”_

_Leigh and Ashella exchanged glances. Notes would be weird, but Ashella knew Zorion personally. They were sweet and would go out of their way to make sure they didn’t bother anyone._

_Leigh looked very uncomfortable as Gale continued to prattle about leaving. At least Ashella knew she had one ally intent on staying. Leigh had always seemed cold and clinical before, but now she was full of warmth and happiness. The times when she was sitting with Galenos (one of Asgore’s soldiers), she was visibly joyous and emotive. If anyone would help her keep the other five humans here, it was her._

_Gale would always be reckless, and led by her whims first and logic second. As much as they cared about Gale, Ashella and Leigh understood that between the two of them, they’d have to find a way to keep everyone in line by themselves. A way to keep the war from getting even worse. Maybe with enough effort, they could show everyone that staying was the better option._

_They really could be the turning point in the war if they all got powers like this, after all._

_~_

_It was just Ghayth and Torby at the table that evening. Pyric and Asgore were leading their troops on a campaign tonight, and everyone else was either on guard duty or waiting for updates. Ghayth stared at his plate, seeming nervous beyond measure. Torbernite was staring into space, thinking deeply, as usually of late, of his complicated feelings toward Ashella-- as well as the situation with his brother._

_As angry as he was with Pyric, he still felt terrible that the last time they’d spoke had ended on a malicious note. He told himself he’d talk to Pyric when he returned, he’d work this out. He was still his brother, he couldn’t let this keep him from the only family he had left._

_“Torby?” Ashella had been sitting with him for a while, apparently, but he hadn’t noticed. As adorable as she found his concentrated expression, she was concerned. He’d seemed distant since that morning, and she was curious and worried why. With how her thoughts had turned in the past few weeks since Gale had showed her the fruits of a union with monsters, Ashella was trying to see into the green dragon as much as possible, to see if maybe he would be a good match for her._

_After all, it was an agreement: since bonds allow the other mate to feel pain, the humans all agreed that no harm should come to their bondmates. It would be a seal of protection._

_“UH?!” He startled belatedly and blinked at her before blushing richly, making his freckles stand out starkly. “Oh… h-hey, Ashe.”_

_“What’s up, big guy?” She asked, telegraphing her movement so that he would know she was reaching for his hand well before she did._

_He nodded assent and waffled on what to say. “Just… worried about Pyric.” He was starved for the abrasive humor and the sour disposition. They had been each other’s foil for so long, to be alone was so… frightening. “We haven’t been this far apart since we were… born?” He tasted the word and shrugged. It was close enough._

_Ashella hitched an eyebrow at him, but didn’t ask. She wouldn’t have to._

_He went on. “Do you know about the Celestial War?” He waited for her to answer, and grinned. “Did you know that Pyric and I came from the very last True Dragon? He towered so high that it took a hundred monsters and a hundred humans to take him down. His body joined the earth but even in death, he reached for the sky. That’s why the mountain is there! The legend is that it’s the body of Ebott!”_

_Ashella squinted at Torby. “Wait, that would make you--”_

_“A few hundred years old? Heh, kinda.” He rubbed the back of his neck, the leather making a pleasant noise against the soft fabric of his scarf. “See, the secret of Dragons is they never truly die. We are not human, but we are not monsters, really.”_

_“Really?” She was fascinated now. “You’re not a monster?”_

_“Well, see, Celestials are the progenitor of all races! So… I have aspects of both. I have a functioning heart, blood… all that stuff. But also I am closely bound to the powers of nature-- so my soul works like a monster’s. And I don’t exactly look human, do I?” He chuckled._

_“Wait, wait. So…” She pointed at him, trying to form words coherently and failing. “What happens when-- if dragons don’t die-- what?”_

_“When Ebott died, from his body and blood formed an egg, and from his passion and dying breath formed another. Two hundred years later, Pyric and I dug our way out of the earth. We found home among the monsters, living as orphans. We aged very slowly over the next hundred years, but we haven’t seemed to get older in the past hundred…”_

_Ashella gaped at him. “You…”_

_Ghayth crackled with amusement next to her. Torby translated. “He jokingly implied that I didn’t age well. Ha-ha.” Torby grumbled sarcastically._

_“No, no that wasn’t what I was thinking at all.” She rushed to say, and squeezed his hand in reassurance. “I just… You know how long human lifespans are, right?”_

_He looked confused for a moment. “Uhh? Aren’t you guys like lobsters or something?”_

_Ghayth sputtered into his plate, sizzling the food._

_“I’m not joking! After all, you can literally lose limbs and still live a relatively comfortable life, yes? Diseases that are deadly to other creatures only affect you for a few weeks, less if proper things are ingested… right? You break a limb and stabilize it until it heals-- when Zorion found out about that, they fainted, by the way…” He spoke of a skeleton monster who was usually so calm and cheerful, always quick with a joke. The image of them fainting was worrisome. “But humans are /invincible!/ That’s why the war is taking so long.”_

_“...no.” She finally answered. “We live about sixty years if we’re lucky.”_

_Torby turned pale as he stared at her. /Oh, gods, how old is she? Is she going to keel over right here?/ He gulped and asked, “Uh… how old are you?”_

_Ghayth face-planted in the food and let out a roar of laughter. Only now did Torby realize how drunk the djinn was._

_Ashella closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Twenty years old, I think?”_

_He let out a groan of sadness. “Your life is already a third spent! What--”_

_“Hey, hey, no.” She interrupted. “Look, no. Don’t think of it like that.”_

_“I’ll live hundreds of years without you, Ashe, this is a very startling revelation!”_

_It hadn't occurred to him that one day he might wake up and she not be there anymore. Gods, what would he do then? He felt almost panicked as he tried to understand his feelings._

_She looked startled at his emotional outburst, and then she smiled crookedly and looked away, blushing. She never really was one for blushing, so Torby immediately noticed-- and before he could ask what he’d said to cause it, she steeled herself and--_

_“Ashe, wait. What did you mean?” Torby asked, his gaze suddenly hard._

_“What?”_

_“You said that you /think/ you’re twenty. Would you not know that for sure?”_

_She shrugged. “It’s not important.”_

_“Of course it’s important! With a life so short, every year is vital!” He argued._

_“Look, if someone was actually counting my years, I would know them, okay? But I was more concerned with keeping my brother and I alive.”_

_The silence lasted a bit longer than it should have, and Ashella hugged herself, looking down at the grain of the table. She needed to break this silence but she couldn’t. How could she talk about the biggest reason she had to leave to the people she dreaded leaving?_

_“I didn’t know you had a brother.” Torbernite said thoughtfully._

_“The only reason I believe he’s not dead right now is that there haven’t been any human casualties.”_

_Ghayth’s fire rose a bit. Torbernite nodded to him. “He’s in the human force?” Ashella guessed he was translating for the djinn._

_“Why wouldn’t he be?” She asked dismally. “I… encouraged him. They start recruiting at age sixteen, and… that way, he’d get food, baths, and a place to sleep. We wouldn’t have to scrounge anymore.” She bit her cheek to keep from talking any more. But then she looked up at Torbernite, saw his forgiving gaze and she softened again. “I… got caught stealing war rations. That’s why I’m here.”_

_She couldn’t say that her name was a joke between her brother and her. Her hair was so stand-out that she would take soot and ashes and rub them into her hair to keep notice down. She couldn’t tell them that while her brother got a respectable name, she was literally reduced to her method of survival. It was fitting, though, all things considered. After all, survival was always her game._

_Ghayth crackled and Torby was quick to paraphrase. “He said it’s fortunate for us. Here, you have no reason to steal, and hopefully we can wait this out.”_

_“What do you mean?” She asked._

_Torby looked uncomfortable. “Well, the biggest difference between humans and monsters, I think, is that… well, monsters can die from a simple poke if it has the intent to kill behind it. But humans… they seem to be made of more physical, hardy stuff than that. Plus, even if they weren't…”_

_“You never /wanted/ to kill us.” Ashella realized. “That’s why…” She held her breath and felt her eyes burn. Why was this war happening? Why did the humans fear the Monsters? It just didn’t make sense! Suddenly, her earlier hesitance at asking him this was so senseless._

_She looked at Torby, and he looked back, seeming confused. “Ashe, are you okay?”_

_“I have a question for you.” She said, no longer questioning herself._

_Something about that expression concerned him. “Go for it?” He sounded unsure. There was a note of stubbornness to her face-- and he knew already that it never bode well._

_Her courage deserted her, but she persevered. “Uhm… so… we’ve been hanging out for a while now…” /Good going, Ashella, way to make it sound as awkward as possible./ “And I wanted to ask you if there’s a way around your poison?”_

_Surely he’d get the hint, right? That maybe bonding would be a work-around?_

_His brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”_

_“Is there any way I could become immune to your toxin?” This time he’d put it together, right? She couldn’t just come right out and say “bond with me so I can protect you and also possibly have superpowers. Which I could also possibly protect you with.”_

_“What? Why would you need to be immune to it?” He looked like he’d honestly never considered this before, and it made her want to facepalm and groan from frustration-- but also made her sad for him. He’d never even believed someone would want him enough to ask?_

_Ashella glanced around, but Ghayth was the only person in earshot, and he was eating his soup and trying to ignore the conversation. He was failing, but he was still putting forth a valiant effort for someone so inebriated._

_“Torby, humans do this lovely thing called kissing. And touching. And other things.” Somehow she managed not to blush, and even maintained eye contact with him. “And, if it were possible… I’d want to do all of those things with you.”_

_If he wasn’t blushing before, he certainly was now, his freckles standing out in stark contrast to his darkening face until it almost resembled a night sky with green stars. Ashella mused that she’d never seen his wing membranes tint like that, either. He was absolutely /mortified/. As if that weren’t bad enough, Ghayth was now choking on his soup. Torby was aware that everyone would know. Everyone._

_Oh, gods… what would Pyric say about this?!_

_Ghayth cleared his throat and muttered something to the effect of “I won’t tell a soul.” and Torbernite was immensely grateful. Reining in his toxin, he grabbed Ashe’s hand and tugged her away from the table._

_“Th…. This isn’t a public discussion.” He shyly stated, dragging her out of the mess hall. Where should he take her? He was flustered, confused, and all-around nervous about this. Even as a joke, no one had ever implied this before!_

_She took the lead, and he timidly followed, his wings twitching, knocking against his horns and tail. She stopped at the room she’d been issued and gestured for him to enter. She gestured a second time, and his hesitation finally broke. He went in, and she shut the door behind her as she followed._

_Finally, the silence bore on him too heavily. “Uh… So… Ashe, did you really mean that?” His heart was pounding in his chest and he was very glad that humans were not as perceptive as monsters, otherwise Ashella would know exactly how affected he was-- not that he was doing a good job at covering it otherwise._

_Ashella didn’t look away from him. “Yeah. Really. I’m kinda…” She cleared her throat to interrupt her initial wording. “I really like you.”_

_His head was spinning. Did humans understand this kind of thing?! He decided to tread carefully. “Uh, so… it is actually possible… yeah…” If he blushed any darker, he’d appear charred. “But… it’s a bit…” He held his breath and she looked at him questioningly until he finally continued. “Intimate. Do you know anything about bonding?”_

_She wasn’t sure how she should answer, because honestly the most she knew about it was that it gave humans powers. “Isn’t it basically monster sex?” She asked._

_He sputtered a bit and looked around, though he knew they were safe and alone in her room. /In her room/, he realized, /alone with her/.“It’s not just sex! It’s… like… choosing one person. Forever.”_

_“Oh, so it’s marriage, then. And sex, all rolled into one? That’s convenient. I’m okay with that.”_

_He gave a shriek of horror. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE OKAY WITH THAT!?”_

_She shrugged nonchalantly. “I’m totally fine with the notion of staying with you. Like I said, I like you a lot.”_

_“Bu-but…” He choked on his words. His hands were shaking and his wings shuddered nervously against his back, more so than before. The friction was aggravating and noisy._

_“Hey, Torby, if you’re not ready for that, I understand. I just--”_

_“I_ am _ready for it.” He said firmly, but couldn’t meet her eyes. “I’ve never felt for anyone like this, but I’m afraid you won’t want to stay with me because I’m dangerous.” He admitted._

_“You’re about as dangerous as a flea.” She deadpanned._

_“I’ll have you know, I can hold my own!” He argued._

_“You’d never purposely hurt someone if you had the choice. You’re adorable, you know that?”_

_He let out a squeak of indignation again. “Quit distracting me, this is important! I can’t even hug you without the potential of making you gravely ill!”_

_“If we bonded, that wouldn’t be a problem, would it?”_

_She had a point, and he was starting to think clearly about this. He would finally be able to hug someone again. Sure, he could hug Pyric, but… he wasn’t much for hugs since they were kids-- and as of late, he wasn’t much for Torby either for that matter._

_And after today’s events… Torbernite had the feeling that the rift between him and his brother was only going to grow. And as much as that pained him…_

_He gulped. “Okay. I… I’ll, I-I’ll bond with you. If you’re sure you want to.”_

_~_

_Torbernite was a cuddler. At first, Ashella had been afraid that bonding wouldn’t work and that she was going to wither away and die if he wasn’t careful-- but it seemed that everything went remarkably well._

_She could feel his heartbeat under her fingertips, and it was loud enough that she could hear it. She could feel how happy he was, and not just because he was holding her as he slumbered, as if hoarding a precious treasure._

_She smiled and kissed his shoulder, snuggling closer into his grasp. At least, she thought, she’d never found a more selfless lover, and the other perks would certainly be welcome. She felt, if for just a moment, that she was in control of her life._

_She began to wonder how long she and Leigh could put the others off leaving. She wondered if she’d ever want to go back. She wondered so much…_

_But now, as she wondered, she felt safe falling asleep._

 

* * *

 

You awoke to Sans opening your bedroom door. “shale. you... i… this…”

“Whaaat?” You whined sleepily.

“shale. remember what grillby said yesterday?”

“About what? He said a lot of things.”

“my blaster is colorblind, shale.”

“What?” You were a bit more awake now.

“my blaster. that gaster made. is colorblind.”

You threw a pillow at him. “So _what_?”

“come out here, shale. you need to see this.”

You growled but got up, stepping out to see the blaster looking at the two of you eagerly. “Okay, Sans. What do I need to see?”

“watch him.” Sans said. “is your name torbernite?”

The blaster let out an ear-splitting noise, and you groaned and held your head. “Okay, so he shouted at us, okay? Doesn’t mean he’s Torby.”

“shale, listen to him.” He turned back to the blaster. “sing the song.”

His noises were soft, as if he were trying to access a depth of notes he didn’t reach in his form, but the pattern of notes made you stiffen. That was--

“that’s that song. the one you made. or... part of it. what if it is like, some kind of memory in your soul?” He was so excited. You stared at the blaster.

“Sans, if… if that’s Torby…”

“paps must have the brother.”

“Pyric.” You said. Torby let out another shriek, and you covered your ears. “Torby.” The blaster came closer and hesitantly butted against you again. “If you’re Torby, why don’t I get hurt when you touch me?”

“funny you should ask. his attacks are very acidic. you, paps, and i aren’t effected, but… others are.”

“Others?”

“don’t wanna talk about it.” He said simply, and you nodded in realization.

“We need to talk to Gaster.” You realized. “I want to know what the fuck this is about.”

Torby was furiously butting against you, making as much contact with you as he could. You looked at Sans, head still spinning. “I need to start keeping a dream journal. This is all getting confusing.”

He nodded. “hey, you should probably go back to sleep anyway. we can talk to gaster tomorrow.”

“How do you expect me to sleep now?!” You groaned.

“with me there, and maybe torby if he can avoid taking up the entire bed. but first, i need you to tell me all about the dreams you had. we can’t afford to lose any details right now.”

You agreed and told him, skipping nothing, even with how awkward it was now that you knew one of the people you were talking about was literally right next to you, listening as you described a very sensitive part of his life.

Afterward though, he lay down between your and Sans’s feet. Sans fell asleep before you, and you curled up against his back, eventually slipping back into sleep.

 

* * *

 

_Pyric had been right, hadn’t he?_

_The more Torbernite bonded with Ashella, the more he got the sinking feeling that she wasn’t telling him something. At first, he had been /sure/ they felt the same… but now it was different. It was like she was distancing herself. Ever since everyone came back from the campaign, it had been different. Was it something he’d done?_

_Ashella knew there was no avoiding it anymore. Not after Galenos had died. The campaign had ended and everyone had come home-- but it had been Galenos’s brother who had given the news to Leigh. Ever since then, she had been in a perpetual state of numbness. She was almost lifeless, and when Ashella had approached her about staying, there had been a fire that consumed what life was left in her eyes and she’d said she wanted to go home._

_Ashella discovered herself in a room full of humans who wanted to be among other humans again._

_She tried in subtle ways to change their minds, but nothing helped. Any time bought was quickly consumed. And if she persisted any longer, they might question her allegiances._

_She had the thoughts frequently now. The thoughts of abandoning the humans and turning their plans over to Ghayth, to Pyric, to anyone who would believe her and have power to help. After all, the Dreemurs were certainly nice enough, and Ashella had never been happier in the human camps than she was here. She didn’t want to leave Torby…_

_She was the unofficial leader of the group of humans-- but if she didn’t step up to the plate, one of the others would-- and it would probably be Grand. She shuddered at the thought. If Grand were in control, there’d be no mercy._

_She had to Persevere._

_They had planned to escape, but Grand had sent word to the humans that they were coming back, as well as a brief rundown of what they could offer now. The escape had turned into a planned raid._

_“Your brother will be so proud of you.” Gale had said. “Put in a good word for me, hm? If he’s half as cute as you, he might be fun.” Ashella froze in horror at the notion that anyone would flirt with her brother. Devit was still a kid. To her, he’d always been a kid._ And you put him in the army, didn’t you? _She reminded herself._ Uncomfortable with the idea of him in a relationship but not the idea of him killing your friends. How fucked up are you?

_Ashella felt sick. She wished she could do everything over again, reset time, just once. She should have killed them all herself, months ago. She should have hidden herself away from their evil. She should have done everything she could to protect everyone._

_But at least Torby would be safe, if he didn’t ask questions. They wouldn’t dare kill him, as it would hurt her, too. He never saw the front lines of battle, either, so… if he could just survive the raid, he’d never be hurt if she had any say._

_Yes, she had to Persevere. If she didn’t, she couldn’t keep him safe. And when she got home, she’d worry about Devit._

_~_

_The raid was that evening. Ashella had been distancing herself from Torby, even though it was killing her. Maybe her disappearance, her betrayal, would sting less if she did that._

_She hated herself, she hated her race in general. She was so scared._

_“Ashella.” Torbernite’s voice was stern as she tried to leave their room. “Can we talk?”_

_She shook her head. No, if he did this… The plan was already in motion! If he interfered with this..._

_“We_ need _to talk. Please.” Part of him knew this, didn’t it? He trusted her too much and it hurt. It hurt because that trust was so misplaced. He wasn’t even facing toward her. Even though he had so many doubts, he trusted her to be honest with him, to be honorable. That made her so goddamned angry because--_

_“I can’t.”_

_“You’re leaving me, aren’t you?” He already knew, though. He didn’t look, because he knew now._

_The knife twitched in her grasp and she bit back a sob. She wanted to drop it. She wanted to scream for him to warn the others. Warn Ghayth, warn Asgore, even Nasrin, the princess’s guard. Warn_ everyone _because death would be coming for royal dust tonight._

_But she was death. She was the ashes of their future, and she had to keep going, didn’t she? It was all she could do, right? She had to Persevere and make sure that ashes were all that was left after tonight. And if he interfered, not even the bond they shared would keep him safe from the others. She had no choice. **There was no choice**./_

_“Torby…” She tried to keep her voice steady, but the sound of his blood eating away at the blade of her knife made her composure break. “I’m sorry.” She said it again and again, but he never responded. She was glad, because she didn’t want forgiveness._

_He looked up at her at last, having crouched to hug himself when the blow registered. There was shock there, yes… but there was also a hint there in his eyes. He was resigned. He’d felt this would happen, hadn’t he? It wasn’t just her paranoia-- he’d_ known!

 _His blood had begun to eat away at his leather armor, but he made no move to staunch the flow. Her intention had been deadly, after all. In this state, he couldn’t even bring himself to heal. Perhaps, she realized, he didn’t_ want _to heal._

_She averted her eyes in shame. She would never atone for this.She dropped what was left of the knife and ran away to join the other Mages. She should have stayed to see him in his final moments. For closure. All she could feel was pain right now. She just wanted to die._

_Leigh and Grand were opening the gates. She and Gale were in charge of directing the troops. Vaun, Trentain, and Mael would lead them into the deepest parts of Foothold. The areas that held the most important things-- and Monsters-- that would be tactically advantageous to destroy._

_Gale tugged at her arm but Ashella kept staring at the village she’d just walked through the day before. Houses were burning. Humans were laughing and yelling. Screaming…_

_Her betrayal stung._

_She wouldn’t crumble. Not here. She refused to._

_She would Persevere! And eventually, she would answer for this. She would do so gladly._

_~_

_Torbernite felt the blood running across his skin and wanted to cry out from the pains-- especially since he could still feel the bond. He could feel Ashella, feel her regret. Was it enough?_

_It hurt, but he put it aside. It didn’t matter right now!_

_He could still move, right? He had to keep going. He could still foil the plan!_

_He didn’t have enough time to care for the wound. It wouldn’t do any good anyway. His acid had already begun to fester at his skin. Usually he had a decent resistance to it, but in such large quantities, it would easily erode his flesh._

_His hope was dropping so rapidly, but he clung to the last strand of it, pushing himself through the corridors as noises began to reach him. Panic swelled as the news of the raid spread. No one knew where the Mages were. No one had any reason to believe they were to blame._

_But Torby knew, and not only did someone need to know what he knew-- someone needed to_ survive _._

_Toriel was following Nasrin to the area where she would be safely hidden at the back of the spymaster. Ghayth, Asgore, and Adilet would be there too, if all went well. Winoc’s lab was well into the guts of the stronghold, and overall it was pretty defensible. The Mages knew that was the plan though, Torby knew. The Mages would lead the raiders to where the princess would be kept._

_Without Toriel, they would be able to hold their own against a full attack, Torby was confident in that. But if they were also protecting her, they wouldn’t be able to protect themselves._

_With his injury eating him so quickly, he didn’t have time to explain to Toriel’s guard. He only hoped that Nasrin would forgive him. Torby put a gloved hand over Toriel’s mouth, and she turned to see him. He silenced her with a look and swept her up, hurrying away as quickly as the injury would allow him._

_He would Persevere until she was safe._

_~_

_Ashella could still feel him. She and Gale were already on horseback on the way to the nearest human encampment when she felt Torbernite die, and she hid her tears from the others._

_With a silent curse upon all humans, she felt her own hope dwindle and die with him._

_~_

_This was not what she wanted. This was a cruel parody of what could ever remotely be okay._

_“You… are asking me to systematically torture monsters to mass-produce Mages.” Ashella managed to spit the words through her clenched teeth. She was looking up into a face that should have been familiar. Devit had grown taller in the last year since she’d seen him, and there was a cold, cruel feeling to him that she’d never felt before._

_“I would only trust you do to it.” He said, but his smile was forced. He refused to call her sister anymore. The rumors were true, he knew and hated. His sister, his caretaker, had gained true power but at a hideous expense._

_“I won’t.” She said, feeling numb, like nothing was real. It wasn’t real at this point. This man wasn’t real. The dust on her hands wasn’t real. That hollow place where Torby’s influence should be, that throbbing ache where his soul had touched hers…_ That _was all-too real. “And you don’t have the vaguest clue what you’re asking me to do.” His stoic expression didn’t falter, so she repeated herself. Slowly. Agonizingly defiant against a child she’d gone to lengths to never deny. “I. Won’t. Do it.”_

_“Ashella. You’ve done so much for me. Do this for you.” He said, false concern flitting across his face. “They changed you. They… defiled you. Take yourself back!”_

_Her fists were clenched so hard that her skin split over her nails. She realized she’d wasted her only chance at happiness for this._ This _. The brother that she’d raised herself, the little boy she’d skipped meals to feed, the boy she’d bailed out of trouble countless times, usually at the expense of beatings._

_This man who stood before her was twisted. Worse than Grand._

_She realized she’d killed Torby to come home to a brother she couldn’t bear to look at._

_“I will not torture monsters for your or_ anyone’s _benefit. You can not make me do it.”_

_He sighed in aggravation. “It’s them or me. If you wanted to be a monster, you should have stayed with them. As it stands right now, though, you’re a disappointment to your race. And to me.”_

_It was too much. How dare he look down at her with those eyes he’d stolen from a child she’d loved? How dare this man mock her loss?!_

_She lurched forward, and he blocked off her strike, but her nails sliced his shirt. She grappled him but he threw her off and retaliated-- but she was already moving again. She was so fast! She’d never been this fast when they were younger!_

_Her nails had bit flesh, and he could feel his arm go numb, rendering it mostly useless. There was a hunger in her eyes that frightened him. He froze just long enough for her hands to wrap around his neck as she barrelled into him, toppling him and pressing down on his throat with her entire weight._

_“You say it’s them or you. **I killed the man I loved! What makes you better?!** ” She growled as he struggled._

_Others finally came to pull her off of him, but she went berserk. She spat, bit, clawed anyone who touched her, screeching at the top of her lungs that she’d kill them, she’d kill **all of them.**_

_She was formally demoted and placed in a locked, windowless prison until she was deemed “more agreeable.” By that time, all the men she’d attacked, including her brother, were dead from her poison. They threatened to put her back in the darkened prison if she didn’t obey now. She didn’t care anymore._

_Grand called her a Viper._

_It’s strange how someone who once caused such unrest could provide so much comfort. After all, who was fit to comfort a murderer than another murderer? Ashella came to appreciate Grand as her closest friend, and learned that maybe he’d had the right idea after all. Humans were a disease._

_~_

_Grand’s hand was large and warm, and Ashella squeezed it. The Barrier was finished, and they looked around at the other mages. Leigh looked hollow as ever, unphased by the task they’d just done. Gale and Trentain walked in opposite directions pointedly, each going to a squadron of idolant soldiers. Vaun was weary, wheezing, the war, the magic, an old illness, all having taken its toll on him. Mael stalked back to the Mage’s barracks, where the Capture Division still persisted._

_It only took a moment to see the idea form in Grand’s eyes. Ashella, herself, had toyed with the idea. She put a hand over her swollen stomach and squeezed Grand’s hand again. He sighed and wrapped her in his arms._

_“I waited every night.” She said._

_“I know.” He said._

_“I wanted him to find me.” She continued. She knew that she’d still look for Pyric in the shadows, waiting for him to kill her. She would never know he died months before this Barrier had even begun to be formed._

_Grand hummed in agreement._

_“I won’t let it go to waste.”_

_She could hear the smile in his voice. “Good.”_

_Under her hand, she felt the first stirring of a being filled with DETERMINATION._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look, I'm sorry I make sweet characters and then kill them, but that's what I do. 
> 
> Hey, if you want more, I wrote a one shot about Trentain and Gale that will make you cry your eyes out, possibly. It also has not one, not two, but three tragic song recs, if you're interested!~ It's called Viper's Kiss, check for the link below.
> 
> Like always, I encourage you to drop me a comment, or leave me an ask on tumblr! Remember I'm still drawing characters, and I'm actually starting to gain some confidence in my artwork. I mean, I'm not the best, but I'm getting the point across. That's all I need lmao. 
> 
> Also, if anyone has questions about the Holiday Collection Challenge, please talk to me about it. I'd love to see everyone get involved, whether it would be your first fic or thousandth. I myself have a few things planned to contribute, so please look forward to it, and consider bookmarking the collection so that you can see everyone's fics when they're added!
> 
> http://archiveofourown.org/collections/Undertale_Holiday_2016_Fic_Collection_Challenge


	40. Persevere.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How did the Blasters end up that way, why are you and the skelebros immune to Torby's toxins, and, most importantly...
> 
> How will this all end?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT: there is a scene where there is soul-bonding, but it's v vague, mostly just there to convey emotions. If you're uncomfortable, there are *** before and after. 
> 
> as soon as this is posted, I'll be on my way back to work for the night, so leave me lots of comments and love for when I come home in the morning! Gimme something to look forward to!
> 
>  
> 
> ok, so now that that's out of the way:
> 
> holy shit it's been a year.
> 
> okay, so first thing's first: i've been working on some other projects, some of which are nsfw and here on ao3. Others are original projects that I'm going to work on publishing on amazon so i can make some passive income. That's in the future though.
> 
> So what's happened? Why was I gone?  
> I've been in and out of intense depression for the past nine months, and am still in danger of losing my home right now. I just started working as a housekeeper at a factory, and my partner and I are finally working things out (yeah, im in a relationship again) and maybe considering marriage. Things are starting to look up-- I've just gotta keep going.
> 
> That being said, I have a ko-fi account now, the link to which is in my tumblr blog's description. and if you're curious how to find me on tumblr, [here's the link, sweethearts.](http://www.zaiyofics.tumblr.com)

_It was silent in Foothold that night when Winoc was roused from his late-night studies by the creaking of his door. "Winoc." The crimson dragon was carrying a bundle. He was covered in dust._

_"Pyric, yes?" He’d only rarely seen this soldier. In the past few days, he’d been inconsolable, demanding the newly crowned Queen Toriel to allow him to go, to kill, to burn everything. Winoc didn’t mean to sound clinically cold, not at all… but the loss enveloped far more than just the green dragon that everyone loved so much._

_He wouldn’t tell Pyric that. It would be unnecessary and cruel. Winoc was still recovering from the loss of his father, after seven years, and lived with the fear every day that his sister wouldn’t return from patrols._

_Reminding himself of this, of how it’s affected everyone around him, in and out of Foothold, he cautiously disentangled his robe from a stray nail under the desk. It had snagged when he tried to get away from his work to approach the dragon._

_"I’ll do anything. You have to help me." The dragon’s voice was tiny, raspy. Empty._

_Winoc put down what he was working on and approached him. "What is this?" He asked, gesturing to the sack the dragon was holding._

_"Torby." He answered. "Dragons never die, Winoc. They-- you can fix him? You have to--"_

_"Pyric, please. Calm down. Think rationally."_

_“I didn’t want to be right!" Pyric yelled, collapsing on the ground, holding the sack gently so as not to grind what was left of the body’s form into more powdery dust. "I… maybe if… I’d handled everything better...?"_

_Winoc came closer and gestured the dragon further into his area. "If I could harness the power of human souls, I would have more to work with, but…"_

_Pyric’s voice was tight. "Can you save him?"_

_Winoc hesitated. "I cannot promise you that I can, but until we can obtain a human essence, I will use my own strength to do what I can."_

_In the back of the room was a dark wall, where Winoc practiced his father’s most secret gift. In the years since his death, Winoc had been learning to open the Hole and experimenting with it. Neither of his siblings knew he could do this, and he feared that to tell them would induce bitterness. Winoc had always been the favorite of his father._

_The skeleton flattened his palms against the wall, and Pyric watched, wondering what the hell was going on. At last, what looked like smoke began to drift from the wall, and Winoc pushed the wall, showing that it gave no resistance now._

_The spymaster sighed. "I’m getting better. This is a Hole, where life and death exist simultaneously. Time exists and doesn't, and energy can be stored infinitely in proper conditions."_

_Pyric pretended he understood._

_"If I store your brother’s remains in the Hole, and focus my energy into him… especially if we can obtain human souls with which to work..."_

_"Leave that to me." Pyric said, eying the leather bandoliers that were set upon the worktable to his left. The glow of binding magic shown softly, and it was comforting, somehow. Pyric knew it would always feel blissfully chilled against his feverish skin._

_"I still will not promise, but I will have done all I can." He said, ushering for Pyric to hand over the dusty sack._

_"That’s all I can ask for." Pyric muttered. "Thank you."_

 

* * *

 

You stared at Gaster. “So you were just… following Pyric’s wishes?” You thought about it, about what you’d seen and heard in your dreams. “But what happened after that? Between Torby’s death and the Barrier being erected, everything’s kind of a blur.”

Gaster didn’t want to say anything more, but you weren’t going to back down. He knew that, and hated it. As much as it displeased him, though, he could also respect it. ~~If I tell you, you must agree to face Asriel’s plan soon. We must get to work on a counter-plan immediately.~~

You faltered. You weren’t ready to face this, were you? Just to sate your curiosity?

Behind Gaster, a small figure peeked out at you. You went to your haunches and waited patiently for them to speak. “It’s my fault.” They said, and you struggled for a moment to figure out if it was just part of them or all of them talking. “I couldn’t feel anything, and when we bonded, I could feel again. But when we died, whatever was broken in me was in him. He can’t feel because he’s got part of me.”

Gaster put a hand on the child’s head. ~~It’s nothing we can change now. Asriel has the Determination, whether by Alphys’ injection experiments or the remnant of the bond you both shared. The only way out is to move forward. The past will show us no future.~~

“You don’t forget the past unless you want to repeat it.” You grumbled.

~~I said nothing about forgetting the past, just that it won’t do us any good in this confrontation. So, human. Do we have a deal? I’ll tell you anything you need to know, even things I honestly shouldn’t know… for the price of finishing this, one way or another.~~

“What can you tell me?”

 ~~I can tell you… so much.~~ What otherwise would have been a totally unimpressive statement seemed so heavy with the exhausting weight of his sentiment.

“About the war?”

 ~~Yes. But I can tell you so much more than that.~~ ” Charisk made a face and walked away, as far into the consuming maw of the Void as they could, until they were obscured once more. ~~I can tell you what waits in the future. **Who** waits. I can tell you who to meet, where to stand. I can tell you **everything**.~~

“Will Ashella's curse break?”

~~If you break the Barrier, yes. But you already knew that.~~

“Will anyone die when we get out?”

 ~~Not nearly as many as would have three years ago.~~ He looked uncomfortable, you noted. He grimaced at your observation. ~~It would take a long time to explain it, and even though time is no object here, I’d be hard pressed to--~~

“You don’t have to tell me that.”

He clammed up immediately.

You smiled. “I’m sure you’ll tell me when it’s relevant, right?”

 ~~Yes~~ ” He said. ~~Relevant~~. It was relevant right now, he knew. It was pressingly relevant, something that would make assimilation both incredibly hard and yet smoother than it had ever been in the past resets. It was no fault of Frisk’s or Chara’s-- but the underbelly of humanity had never been ready. The parts of the world that were buried almost as deep as the monsters were. This time, everything was ready.

“Right now I’m focused on my family. So let’s just start off with how the Blasters ended up as weapons, huh?” You asked. “How could you make your friends into weapons?”

Considering part of his offer of nigh-unlimited knowledge, he found it amusing and ironic that you’d still pursued this path. Not surprised, however-- and almost certainly not grateful.

 

* * *

 

_Pyric had eventually been assigned as Winoc’s personal guard. He was too emotional to keep in the infantry, but it didn’t stop him from going out, bandoliers equipped, killing scouts and storing their souls in the pockets. Winoc and Ghayth’s relationship had ceased to be so much of a relationship and more of a partnership with no words, no emotion._

_In Pyric, Winoc had found passion, even when the dragon’s red scales had faded into dark, charred rock with crackles of molten red and orange spread throughout, the true telling of how much he was suffering._

_When Winoc’s sibling Zorion had died, Ghayth had done his best to help, but in the end could do little more than sit there and wait for Winoc to quit sobbing. Ghayth hadn’t had a family in over a century, and his hadn’t been lost to the war. He had no idea how to comfort a lover in this, especially considering his lover had grown cold and clinical over the passing years._

_When Pyric came to his lab that night, though, bandolier full of fresh souls, Winoc had burst into a mess of emotions, and Pyric had stayed and soothed him through it all._

_Where Ghayth failed to supply that emotional support, Pyric came through. They grieved together. Zorion had died with his mate, Jiyu, who’d been in Pyric’s squadron back when he was still a leading figure and not just a guard. Pyric had spent more time sitting quietly next to Winoc’s desk when he worked than he did “standing guard.”_

_The two would talk. Sometimes Pyric’s tail-tip would curl around Winoc’s ankle. Sometimes one of them would finally let himself cry when the pressure was built up, and the other just was there. Pyric would hum to Winoc. He’d taken to humming that tune when Pyric wasn’t around, and it would calm him down._

_Pyric had become his friend, his confidant._

_But the night of the Final Raid led the mages inevitably to Winoc’s chamber. They were after the souls. Pyric couldn’t hold his ground, knew that he would have to do something drastic if he were to hold anyone off at all. He was overwhelmed. But he wouldn’t let them hurt Winoc-- not when Torby still had a shot at living again. He’d killed too many people to watch them kill the only chance of Torby coming back. He’d killed too many people to keep Winoc safe._

_Winoc liked to believe that, perhaps, Pyric had felt as closely tethered as he himself did… but in hindsight, his desire to know this was a moot point. He had long ago moved on, knowing that the closure would just never be there the way he wanted it._

_That being said, the memory of Pyric’s soul erupting from his body in a fount of unquenching flame still stuck with him. Pyric hadn’t even flinched, just accepted that final stand and--_

_The unbroken souls were on the other side of the flames, and the mages grabbed the canisters, breaking the hold Winoc had on them, the power he’d filtered into the Hole. But that wasn’t important. The flames were all that kept the human soldiers from Winoc. Beyond the dancing fire, he could see their forms, twisted from the heat warping his vision._

_He didn’t care about the power deserting him. It hadn’t helped. **He** hadn’t helped. All that power at his fingertips and he had been too frozen to save his friend._

_Winoc felt himself falling to his knees only distantly. He was screaming at the pile of dust on the ground. Part of Pyric’s body remained, and Winoc was scrambling across the floor to pull the remnants of his guard and friend away from the fire he’d made in his death throes._

_What remained solid of Pyric crumbled in Winoc’s fingers and he used spectral hands to desperately keep him together._

_Dragons never die._

_Winoc set his jaw and gathered as much of the dust as he could, retreating from the fire as it began to spread. Winoc wasn’t safe here… but Pyric knew he could get away. He could warp away-- but Winoc refused to. Not right now. No._

_He had a promise to keep._

_He couldn't focus. The fire raged, glass shattered, and he was glad he didn't need to breathe. The smoke was so thick. He struggled with his magic, hammering against the back wall with all his will. At last it gave way, and Winoc spilled into the Hole._

_He finally released Pyric’s remains, and turned back to the entrance he’d made. He would have to wait here until Ghayth could smother the flames. Here in the Hole, he didn’t feel the heat. He didn’t feel anything. And maybe that was better. For now, anyway._

_It was quiet here. He wished he could sit here forever, away from the war, next to his friend until they could speak again-- and they **would** speak again._

_Winoc had left too much unsaid._

 

* * *

 

 ~~So you see.~~ Gaster said. ~~I kept them my secret. What else could I have done?~~

You stared at him.

He looked away. ~~Once they… began to show signs of life, I was unsure they were truly themselves. I was… ashamed that I had done this without their permission. How did I know they’d approve of this form? I… wanted to forget~~.

“How did they become weapons?”

 ~~I often talked to them during experiments. Helps to bounce ideas off of someone… but after Blue died, I was inconsolable. I remained isolated in my lab for weeks, and then Asgore came-- to offer his condolences, imagine that.~~ His tone was bitter. ~~I had them out because it calmed me. And when I got so upset, when my magic began reacting, they came to my aid. Torby shielded me, and Pyric attacked.~~

He met your gaze. ~~I thought they reacted to my magic level escalating from stress and anger, and I was partially correct. They had been feeding off my magical essence for centuries. It was what subsisted them for so long, what eventually gave them form-- I hypothesize that it is why they take that form~~. He paused. ~~I was partially correct-- but I had much more pressing issues on my mind at the time, so I didn’t investigate any further.~~

 _Pressing issues_. “You mean making Sans and Papyrus?”

~~Yes.~~

“You said you were only partly correct.”

~~Yes. Like I said, they were very in-tune with my magic levels. However, as you’ve learned, and thus taught me, they are also still sentient. I can only imagine their actions were not entirely spurred by my own emotions but perhaps their own in conjunction.~~

You paused. “Okay. How did Sans and Paps end up with them, exactly?”

 ~~Your guess is as good as mine. I was… predisposed at that time. Stuck forever in the Void. I had no idea of the consequences… putting a ‘Hole’ into something unstable and having it fall apart while I’m still inside.~~ He sighed. ~~To make matters worse, it was for nothing. I can’t say I would have been an amazing parent. After all… I only released one child… But I feel that however Torbernite and Pyric came to guard the boys, I’m in no way surprised with who ended up with who.~~

There was a note of warmth in his voice that surprised you. “What do you mean?”

 ~~As much as it seems a cold and inhospitable way to think of it, Papyrus is indeed a direct clone of me. Pyric would have sensed that. I’m confident. When I was with Blue, I occasionally wondered how well he and Torbernite would have gotten along, based from the little bit I knew of him. My reasoning was that Blue asked about them and pouted when I told him not to touch Torby, since he could be deadly toxic.~~ He paused. ~~I needn’t have worried, it seemed. Our bonding gave him my immunity to the toxin.~~

“You’re immune?!”

~~You are too, of course-- though whether it has to do with your heritage or your bond with Sans, I’m unsure, since the boys are immune as well. Fascinating, isn’t it? It’s actually quite heartbreaking a reason, actually. Pyric, too, had the ability to be toxic. Whereas Torby had to actively **not** be poisonous, it was the other way around for Pyric. In any case, Pyric worked with me to achieve an antivenom. Because… He wanted Torby to be able to interact with people when I was able to revive him.~~

“Okay, now you’re just _intentionally_ breaking my heart.”

~~To be fair, it means that including myself, he has four people in addition to his brother that he can interact with now. I think that’s a step up.~~

“Stop.”

~~Any other questions?~~

“God, with how eager you are, it’s almost like there’s a question you _want_ me to ask.”

Gaster cleared his throat. ~~It would be much better to discuss it all after everything is said and done. However. I need to tell you something.~~

“Okay?”

~~Call someone, I don’t care if it’s Mettatin--~~

“Mettaton?”

~~Metta **ton**. I don’t care if it’s him, or Undyne. Anyone. Have them stay with Papyrus tonight. I need to have a heart-to-heart with the boy. It’s time I did that.~~

On the occasions Sans told you about how Gaster shared knowledge, you knew that it was not only going to fuck with his head, but probably cause physical pain. “Don’t you think now might not be the--”

 ~~Now is the **only** time if I want things to play out right. If we’re going to achieve a peaceful end with Asriel, it’s going to require Papyrus to understand who he is, who I am, and what he can do. I’m hoping it will not pain him as much as it did Sans… but considering the boy never sleeps because of nightmares anyway, I can only imagine how that will play out~~.

You stared at him. “Can you tell him to quit smoking?”

~~Don’t hold your breath. Even with how blessedly optimistic and trusting he can be, I’ll still have been a father to him for all of one day. If he’s **anything** like me at all, he’ll take my words with a grain of salt. That is the phrase, yes?~~

“Yeah.”

~~Wonderful. I believe we’re done here!~~

You backed away.

~~Except…~~

Fuck.

~~Now we must plan. And before you back away again, remember you agreed to this. Not that it would have mattered. The events are already set in motion. You can only delay the inevitable for so long. If we’re doomed to die, wouldn’t it be more merciful to get it over with?~~

“Jesus Christ, Gaster, lighten up, please.”

~~Perhaps later, if we all survive.~~

“Gaster, you could hardly call your current state ‘alive’ so I don’t want to hear it.”

He sighed. ~~I get it. Hopefully one day you’ll like me. It only took a few new futures popping up for me to like you, after all.~~

You stared at him.

~~I’ll give you a hint as to what that means if you quit dragging your feet and summon Sans so we can begin.~~

You grumbled but beckoned to Sans through the bond.

Sans appeared, Torbernite in tow. Torby trilled and greeted you warmly, nudging against your shoulder until you pet his snoot. It occurred to you just how fucking weird it was that you were literally stroking your ancestor’s skull like a cat. And that he both understood what was going on and didn’t find it weird enough to be offended or even hesitant.

Considering all you knew about Torby, though… Gaster had been right about one thing. Four huggable creatures was better than the nothing he’d had for so long.

 ~~Sans.~~ Gaster greeted.

“g.” Sans’ bitterness was clear. He didn’t want to be here either, because he knew exactly how bad this was going to be.

“Me.” Desperate to break the tension, you did jazz hands at Sans.

But nobody laughed. Dammit.

 ~~So first off.~~ Gaster began. ~~There is absolutely no way for me to be sure if you have enough determination to override Flowey’s. If the two of you battled for the ability to reset, there’s no guarantee you’d come out on top. In fact, no offense meant, I wouldn’t count on it.~~

You nodded. “I wouldn’t want to anyway, unless it were absolutely necessary.”

 ~~Noted~~. He responded tiredly. ~~I’d hate to see you fall to the same level of corruption that the children did.~~ As if summoned, Charisk returned. Gaster motioned to them. ~~They understand our adversary much, much better than I, however. After all, I can’t seem to see whatever scenario we’re facing. Obviously that’s a shortcoming on my part… but we can’t dwell on that. We must move forward.~~

 _Of course we can’t dwell on that._ You thought bitterly. _It would require you to get over the stick up your ass and stop being a **petty shitsuckle.**_

Charisk gestured wildly and you stared in mute confusion at them before they grumbled under their breath. “Frisk is trying to talk but um…” You understood now. Chara spoke, Frisk signed. Sans had mentioned once that Frisk didn’t speak, right?

Sans understood, Gaster understood. You were the odd one out here, and you felt kinda shitty about it. If you survived this clusterfuck, you told yourself you’d learn sign language asap.

“To save time, I’ll talk, okay?” It seemed like they were still talking amongst themself. God, you wondered how confusing or scary it would be to be trapped in the same mind as someone, neither of you fully in control.

“Asriel didn’t seem dangerous when we last interacted with him. He seemed scared. He seemed to… feel. But that was in a dream. He wasn’t broken in the dream. When he’s a flower, he’s broken because of me. He can’t feel, like I couldn’t. Frisk is concerned that he’ll do to you what he did to them… since he has the six human souls still.”

“great. so what’s the plan?”

“You have to talk to him. Reason with him.” There was a flurry of gestures. “Don’t give up on him.” Charisk nodded.

You thought for a moment. “What if I could heal him? _Can_ I heal him, do you think?”

Charisk cringed. “Healing is what messed me up. However, Mom said it was all in the intent. If all you want is for him to feel again… maybe that will work. I don’t know. I have no way of knowing.” Charisk glanced meaningfully at Gaster and then back to you. The intent was clear. _And he’s no help, either._

Another flurry of hands. “Frisk says it’s worth a try.” They paused. “And I agree. He says he has no soul, but he’s being dramatic. His soul is still there, it’s just shattered but the Determination keeps it from going out completely. If someone could just… meld the pieces back together, he might be better.”

Sans looked between everyone. “ok... so where does that put me? you’re talking like they’re doing this alone.”

Charisk met his gaze and Frisk signed. _Do you trust me?_

Sans hesitated but finally nodded.

Chara spoke again. “They have to do it alone. Sans, there’s something important that you can do. There are monsters in the ruins and other hard-to-reach places that will be safer in the lab. Not in the worst-case-scenario… but otherwise. Everyone will be easier to monitor in one place.”

“easier to dust in one fell swoop, too.” He remarked.

“This is true, but… trust Frisk, if not me. You and the others need to stay safe. We believe Shale will not fail… but on the off-chance… there might be something you can do that no one else can.”

Now even Gaster looked interested. And then startled. ~~Why didn’t **I** consider that?~~

“Because it probably won’t work.” They answered.

“What?” You were still waiting to know what the hell they had in mind.

“Sans is part human-- and bonded partially to a human. Thanks to Gaster, he remembers the surface enough to perhaps… access it?”

“you think i can get past the barrier.”

“Have you tried since you bonded?” Charisk asked.

“we’re not fully bonded.” He reminded them. “and... no.”

Gaster broke in. ~~There is a chance that trying could hurt or even kill him if you’re wrong.~~

You interjected. “No. Nope, no no. That’s not happening.”

“you’re going to be in mortal danger, too.”

 ~~No, I think they’re right.~~ Gaster inclined his head at you. ~~If you suffer pain while they’re trying to interact with Asriel, it could be just the amount of distraction needed to throw the whole situation into a flurry of disasters. Nevermind what result your potential **death** would have on them.~~

Charisk didn’t look sure at first, but then just shrugged. “It was just an idea.”

“so why can’t i be there to support them?”

 ~~Who’s to say you won’t distract them instead? Plus, you’re needed to evacuate people to the lab.~~ Gaster sighed. ~~You’re behaving like Dogamy. Get ahold of yourself. Believe in Shale. I do~~.

“g, between you and me, your faith means absolutely nothing. i believe in them too, i just…”

“You feel helpless.” Charisk supplied.

“yes.” Sans groaned. “i just want a damn break. i want my world to make sense. i want us to… i want us to just exist. without danger, without this… this _bullshit!_ it shouldn’t be too much to ask to just want to form a normal relationship and not have to deal with this end of the world shit!”

 ~~Let it all out.~~ Gaster said. ~~It is not too much to ask, however we can’t always choose our circumstances. We can’t always control our paths. The best we can do is move forward with faith that it will work out.~~

“Determination.” Charisk said.

Sans looked skyward in aggravation and groaned. The stress was emanating off of him in waves. You could feel it echo in you as well.

“What happens if I fail?” You asked.

~~If Asriel can’t be reasoned with, Charisk and myself will step in. Before he can absorb anyone after you… we shall abduct him into the Void. This could cause the world to collapse. We’d have to erase him like I was erased… That might inadvertently erase the six other fallen humans and yourself…~~

Charisk shrugged. “It’d certainly be less quiet around here.”

No one else seemed as uplifted about that.

Gaster continued. ~~Human souls can’t regain their physical form. They need a host… a vessel of some sort. So Charisk and I would have to fight Asriel not only until he relinquishes all the souls including yours… but also wait or work on a method of getting the souls out of the void so he can’t reabsorb them.~~

He scowled. ~~Done incorrectly, this would result in their souls shattering. This entire process could take eons worth of time in the Void while the world outside either collapses from the immense amount of rewriting required to make the world make sense without the humans and Asriel…~~

“It’s a headache.” You grumbled.

 ~~Gods, yes~~. Gaster groaned. ~~That is why it’s a backup plan. It is not a happy ending.~~ His glare became intent. ~~I want a goddamn happy ending~~.

“So when are we doing this thing?” You asked.

The silence was thick and tense.

Gaster spoke. ~~Tomorrow~~.

“what?!” Sans cried.

“WHAT THE HELL?! How are we supposed to get everyone on board with this by then?”

Charisk hid behind Gaster.

You and Sans waited patiently for either of them to speak, but it became clear that they had no ideas. Both of you exchanged glances. “So it’s up to us to figure it out, then?”

Gaster sighed. ~~I have no insight in this situation. With each moment I see less and less of the situation. It’s incredibly frustrating.~~

“You should understand things _more_ from us talking about it, shouldn’t you?” You prodded.

~~Yes. It’s vexing.~~

“That’s an understatement.” You grumbled.

“i think i have an idea.” Sans said.

“Please tell me it’s not gathering everyone around and explaining and then brainstorming. We can _not_ tell Toriel about this. You _know_ Alphys hasn’t told her yet, and that would be a dick thing to do.”

Sans was quiet.

“Oh my god, Sans.”

~~He does have a valid suggestion there, you know. Sure, Alphys might lose her position… however, isn’t the fate of everyone more important than that?~~

“This isn’t about her position!” You said. “We can’t just throw her under the bus!”

 ~~Do you have a better idea?~~ Gaster asked.

You were quiet.

Sans laced his fingers with yours and you realized you were biting back the tears that had threatened your otherwise stoic facade.

This wasn’t one of your flimsy DND campaigns. This was real. This was something you couldn’t escape or change at the last minute. If you botched this, the consequences would be real and terrifying.

**DND.**

“shale, you’re a genius.”

“Get out of my head.”

“the eyepatches, shale.” He laughed. “holy shit, the eyepatches.”

“It won’t help.”

“but it’ll show everyone else what’s going on. it’ll give us all enough warning.”

“But--”

“someone can use the crystal ball to show all the monsters in the underground.”

Gaster made a noise. ~~A final concert.~~

“fuck you.” Sans snapped back. He looked back to you. “everyone here sees you as that prophecy, i think. most of us gave up that crap, but… we all believe in you, shale. and if i can’t _physically_ be by your side, i’ll be damned if you take this from me too.”

Gaster looked at Charisk and then smiled back at the both of you. ~~I think that shall conclude our planning session for today~~.

You looked back at him with panic. “B-but! I’m not ready! I…”

Charisk peeked up at you. Their voice was strong. “You’ll never be ready. You just have to face it. It’s scary and impossible, but… if we could do it, we believe in you.”

“I’m not stronger than you.” You said.

“You don’t have to be.” They said. “You just have to be you. That’s enough.”

Gaster nodded. ~~That’s all that we could ask of you.~~

Sans squeezed your hand. You looked at him, still fighting the panic. His eyelights darted to the exit of the room. You took a deep breath and nodded.

The illusion of time not existing persisted after the door shut behind you. Waterfall’s ambient dripping noises could barely distract you from how absolutely, mind-numbingly tiny everything felt. You felt like you were about to collapse and take everything down with you, so huge in relation to everything, so heavy.

“shale.”

You had been hyperventilating.

“c’mon. let’s walk. take the long way.”

You shook your head. It felt like you were running on borrowed time, even though time felt meaningless anymore. God, this was getting to you.

“wanna... visit everyone?”

You nodded.

The visits were brief, really. Not nearly as long and heartfelt as you wanted, but Sans stayed with you the whole time. You told everyone to meet together at the lab tomorrow, that you had something big that needed to be planned, and that you’d need their help. Muffet, Toriel, Grillby, Mettaton, Papyrus, Alphys, Undyne…

Tomorrow was going to be terrible.

When at last you’d had enough, Sans brought you both through a shortcut into your room.

***

Fingers intertwined. It was like the world was falling away. Neither of you could speak. You were both so afraid. The bond was a small comfort, yes... but you both thirsted still for each other.

The problem was you couldn't understand in which way you craved.

Stale air. Scenery wasn't important when you knew sensory wouldn't save you. No, you needed to hope. You needed _him_.

You pressed him to the wall, and his arms wrapped around you with an intensity that mirrored yours. His tongue danced with yours as your hands shook. You didn’t have the strength to undress him. At any moment, you could just collapse at his feet and cry from the tension.

Just like the first time, he was shaking too. Every breath was a sigh of 'i love you'. If tomorrow didn't go well, there was a chance those words would be gone, along with everything the two of you had built-- and everything you _could_ build.

In a haze of breathing each other in and whispers of promises, you found the ground, or was it the bed? It didn’t matter.

Desperate kisses were traded for bites that left marks in your skin. You craved the reminder that he was part of you. You wore his mark on your soul but you wanted to see. You wanted to feel.

Everything was mixing like ink in water, sensual desires with the primal need to be closer. You couldn't separate those feelings just like you couldn't separate the two of you.

You leaned in and kissed whatever you could reach. The tenderness gradually roughened as you bit down. Spectral hands caressed, pressed you, cradled you away from the cold ground. He wouldn't let himself forget the way your skin tasted.

Desperately, roughly, the coupling was intense. But you needed more. Both of you. Within a breath of each other, the souls came out, and the two of you adjusted to the overstimulation that almost made you numb. Words were useless anymore. Past a groan and the desperate whisper of a name, there were only the sounds your bodies made together.

***  
Neither of you had the luxury of passing out when the feelings reared like a mighty wave, crashing into the two of you and leaving you clutching each other. Was it the need to be closer still or the need to convey just how frightened you both were of the rising dawn?

"i can't lose you."

Which one of you was crying?

"i need you. you have to survive this."

Your fingers brushed his soul reverently. It was closer to solid form now, structured by your influence. You were his strength.

You were his dream.

"you can't die."

You smiled and pulled him closer. "I can't die. I'm not done yet."

He wanted to cling to the hope that you'd both be okay. You did too. Gods, you clung to that hope. Neither of you could afford not to.

You felt soft, comforting warmth around you and you let him cradle you to his chest. You both sank into sleep with a sense of finality.

 

* * *

 

Everything was blue. A rich, lavish cobalt enveloped your senses. _hey, shale, right? long time no see. kinda. can’t really see you. but... that’s not important right now. i need to tell you something i learned from asriel._

“Blue?”

_i don’t really have much time, i’m sorry. please listen, okay?_

“Okay.”

_good. so do you know anything about the void?_

“Not much. Gaster lives there, with the blaster brothers.”

_heh, the gaster blasters, yeah? glad they’re still there. fuckin love those dudes. didja know the names was between gaster blasters and ‘ding-dogs? agh, anyway._

You waited. Finally, Blue continued, words hesitant.

 _the void is many things. but it’s not death. it’s not darkness, either. it’s... not anything, but it’s everything. all at once, overwhelming and never-ending. to understand it is to lose your humanity_. He paused, and you felt the weight of his words sink into you. _does that make any sense to you? do you understand?_

“I’m not sure?”

_when you feel the void in your chest, isn’t it a lot like how you feel in the actual void?_

“Yes? But I don’t understand it… I still have my humanity?”

 _do you know how i ended up in the underground, shale? i had the void in my soul, too. i took my happy ass out into the woods often to forget the world, y’know? trees don’t hit you for being gay._ He waited as if for laughter.

 _i found a hole in the earth, and decided “what the hell, no one’s expecting me home anyway.” and i jumped. just like that. the little gaping wound in my chest, my own personal void, made me feel like that was my only real option_. He gathered his thoughts with a low hum.

 _anyway, though… so i stayed with tori for a while. she was awesome. she was so accepting of me, was just… she was the best. hell, you think **sans** looked good in tulle, you shoulda seen me in that tutu tori made for me. i looked fuckin bitchin_.

You did chuckle at that one. _there we go. alright, so… i got a bit off topic there. do you understand what the void is?_

“Is it… depression?”

 _heh, yeah. you got it. and what do you do to get through depression? there are a million ways to do it, yeah… but regardless how you approach it… you have to be determined, yeah? gotta persevere. for me, it was about being true to myself, keeping my word, things like that. i was tired of lying to myself on the surface, and i kept the bad urged at by with my Integrity._ He paused. _ya got that, kiddo?_

“Think so.”

_ok ok i gotta speed up here, ok? time’s almost up. you are… weird as fuck. sorry, but that’s the best way i can put it. your soul is complicated. you have a lot of Determination… but not enough, really for you to utilize it alone. but your Perseverance… that is what gets you through things. and it works well together, in a way none of us would ever have thought. we’ll get to that another time though._

“Okay, so no one else has a mixed soul like this?”

 _not one like this. i can’t explain it, i’m not a goddamn poet i’m a computer nerd. okay, shale, focus! when you put determination and perseverance together, what do you get?_ He waited, but when you didn’t immediately answer, he seemed to remember his limited time. _you get Hope. and that’s what drives the void back. not just like how we do it, through a singular trait. you… you don’t just stall it, you fuckin smash the void between two cinderblocks of powerful shit and grind it up._

“Not sure I follow?”

_that’s why even as a “normal” human (which by the way, we need to talk about that later if there’s a later), you could stave off the void. you might not have had your physical magic, but you had the Determination and the Perseverance._

There was a noise. _fuck_.

And then there was silence, and everything was grey.

“Blue?” Left alone in the deafening emptiness, you realized how comfortable you’d been until now. “Hey, are you okay?”

“shale. shale, wake up!” You felt yourself being shaken--

“Oh, fuck!” You gasped as you came to in Sans’s arms.

“you were thrashing a bit there. what happened?”

“I don’t know. Blue was there, and he was… talking about traits and depression and… the Void?”

“why? why would that be relevant right now of all times?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think he got to finish what he was saying. Whatever he was trying to do, he got pulled away pretty abruptly.”

Sans checked the time. “well... it might be because it’s time to go.”

You nodded and looked at the floor, staring into space, trying to wrap your head around the plan for the day.

Suddenly, he was kissing you hard, and you touched his face to discover tears. “What’s wrong?” You asked when at last he let you pull away.

“don’t you fucking die on me. i don’t wanna survive that. you made me able to survive that, please…” His voice broke. “no matter what, please… find a way to come back to me tonight, okay?”

_History repeats itself._

“I’ll try… but… I can’t promise there will _be_ a tonight.”

He held your face in his hands and studied you. “i love you.”

You smiled as best you could. “I love you too. Let’s go.” You said, and Sans noted the flare of your eyes, the hard set of your jaw. But no. You weren’t just Determined. There was something more there. You looked like an ancient being about to cast judgement for the sins of the past. You looked like divine intervention incarnate.

You looked like the Hopes and Dreams they’d needed sorely here. You looked like the angel of prophecy.

You took it upon yourself to clutch at Sans’ magic and initiate a shortcut yourself. You’d been paying attention to his magic patterns as much as you could-- and surprisingly, it worked, though you didn’t go where you’d intended to.

“shale, as wonderful as it is that you are learning, and doing an amazing job at it…” He was peering over the ledge he’d been on, overlooking the razing heat of the lava immediately below. “maybe let’s not do that again for a wh--” He looked over at you and his eyelights vanished.

“What.” You asked flatly.

“i’m still not used to… your um.”

You touched your face. Was it just you or did it feel...? “Holy shit, what’s going on with my face?”

“it must be because of the bond. i’m suddenly worried what’s gonna happen to me if i use _your_ magic.”

The entire side of your head had become skeletal in appearance, however it was no longer merely cosmetic. Wires of magic held the shape of your face, and a thick glow of maroon emanated from your jaws.

“sweet fucking christ, i’m not sure if i’m horrified or impressed.”

“Considering I can’t see what’s going on, I’m more of the former.”

“it looks fuckin sick.” Sans said. “I’d still totally **bone** you.”

You couldn’t help but giggle at that.

Sans pulled you through another shortcut, and everyone in the lab looked up, taking note of your presence. There was a solem air. They weren’t dumb. They knew something was up.

You needed to address the elephant in the room first. “Alphys.” You beckoned her over to you. She hesitated before coming forward. You took her to where the others wouldn’t hear. “Have you… told Toriel about Flowey?”

She shrank as if you’d stricken her. “N-no.”

You sighed. “Alphys, I wouldn’t do this under any other circumstance. But what’s going on directly involves him. Toriel will most probably find out. If you’d prefer to tell her yourself, now’s the time. I’m sorry.”

She looked down at her hands as she wrung them. “I… Birdy, I… what do I even _say_ at this point?”

“I’ll start the discussion, start explaining. You can either let me explain that Asgore’s experiment was a replication of one on what turned out to be Asriel’s remains, or… you can cut in and explain, yourself.”

“Birdy, what’s going on?”

“Flowey has the six souls. And he’s going to wipe out the entire underground if I don’t face him alone. Today.”

She yelped and looked back at the others. “C-can’t we just…. Say that?”

“I’m going to be using the eyepatches so that all of you can monitor what’s going on, so we can prepare for the worst.” You said. “It might… come out in context. You’d much rather us tell her before then than after, right?”

She thought for a moment. “This is the worst…”

“We’ve got to explain one way or another. It’s going to get ugly, but if we do it now, Undyne and I are here to protect you. If we keep delaying… Alphys, I’d really rather you not have to explain one-on-one with her. _I_ would be scared to.”

She nodded. “O-okay. You’re right Buh-Birdy. You’re right…”

“How do you wanna do it?”

“Y-you start. I’ll…. Uh… I’ll try to cut in. If I don’t…. Can you just make it quick, like ripping off a sticky bandage?”

“I’ll do my best.” You said. “Go over there. I’m about to start, okay?”

While you all walked back to rejoin the group, Undyne mouthed “are you okay?” to Alphys, who swallowed her breath audibly, choked on it, and shrugged, standing beside her and visibly shaking.

Now was as good a time as any to begin. “As you can all likely guess… This isn’t a happy occasion. We’re all in danger. Everyone in the Underground. However… If what I plan is successful, we will break the Barrier. Today.”

There was a sharp murmur. Toriel straightened her posture. “How?”

You sighed. “I know what happened to the six souls, and perhaps have a way to recover them. However… there’s a problem.”

“Always a fucking catch.” Undyne said.

“We might want to all sit down before I continue.” You said.

 

* * *

 

Gaster sat next to Charisk.

 _Are you nervous?_ Frisk signed.

 ~~Of course I am.~~ He said. ~~Papyrus was… much more compliant and ready than I’d expected, yes… but it made everything so much more… real.~~ He looked at Charisk. ~~He’s just like me. I don’t know if I’m proud or… disheartened.~~

_You can’t change him. You shouldn’t want to._

~~No, no. You misunderstand. I… He’s so much like I was before I lost everything. However… he wasn’t raised during a war. He’s a version of me that will never have to pit his friends against an enemy that can’t be beaten and watch them die. I can only hope that means he’ll be better than I am. Less bitter. But… I can only imagine how… much of my personality was influenced by those experiences. I worry that he won’t relate to my experiences, that he won’t understand…. And that he may well be doomed to make the same mistakes I did.~~

Charisk nodded. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Chara grumbled. “He’s smart. You said it yourself, he has so many of your memories-- including those of the war. His nightmares are of your actions-- some of them as recent as his birth.”

 ~~He remembers Blue~~. He said. ~~He knows he was just a control to a better experiment. I wonder if that ever… bred resentment in him. I wonder if he ever hated Sans, knowing that.~~

 _Ask him yourself after today_. Frisk signed.

Gaster nodded. ~~You’re right. It’s no use to think further on it now. I shall continue to panic later.~~

Chara frowned. “ _That's_ how you panic?”

 ~~We can’t all be hysterical~~. Gaster said. ~~It will do no good.~~

Charisk couldn’t deny it was a valid point.

 

* * *

 

It had been difficult enough to leave Gaster out of the discussion, but you managed to get the story across to everyone. The tension between Alphys and Toriel was bad, but it wouldn’t likely melt down any time soon. Plus, if the Barrier was broken today, the two could separate indefinitely, you were sure.

Desperate for something to do with her hands, it was Alphys who handed you the eyepatches. You focused a massive amount of your energy into the chips before passing them back out. Grillby, Sans, Papyrus, Undyne, Alphys, Mettaton, Toriel, Muffet. Everyone wore one, and when you put yours on, you tested it.

“Can everyone see what I see?”

Everyone nodded.

“Good. Ok, guys. So the deal is that we need to keep everyone safe while I deal with Flowey, okay? Gather everyone into the Lab, everyone has their own squad, so to speak. Keep order, keep everyone calm. If… If I fail… I don’t know what will happen.”

“We got your back, punk.” Undyne said, but there was a solemn quality to her voice. “Are you sure we shouldn’t back you up?”

Sans butted in. “we’re useless in this situation, undyne. if anyone other than shale shows up, he will use the power of the 6 human souls to kill everyone.”

Grillby stepped forward and gave you a hug. “Persevere, Shale, and come back.” Sans looked at Grillby oddly, but the fire djinn stared at you. “I promise, when this is said and done, I will tell you everything I know. Please give me that honor.”

You smiled. “You can tell me on the surface.” You said, forcing a mask of cheerful optimism-- of confidence-- to show above the dread, the fear, the uncertainty. “After today, we will be surface-bound!”

Alphys hugged Undyne and Mettaton hugged himself. Papyrus grinned at you, but he recognized the face of someone trying to reassure others, knowing the alternative, though more truthful, would only cause more pain. Toriel looked to the ground, and then looked up.

“I need to bring Asgore with me.”

“Tori, th-that’s not a good idea.” Alphys said.

“If there’s a possibility we all die today, the people should see their king one more time!” She growled, voice made of steel and darkness. Alphys shrank and said no more.

“It’s time.” You said. “If I don’t do it now…”

Sans grabbed your hand and squeezed it.

Mettaton was the first to the door. “Let’s be on our ways, darlings! We have all of the entire Underground to evacuate!”

Toriel made her way downstairs, and everyone else headed for the door. Sans made eye contact with you one more time, pleadingly, before he took a shortcut to his first destination. To conserve his energy, he would have to do a lot of walking today, but he couldn’t stand walking away from you right now. What made it worse was he could feel you on him, in him.

The bond was complete now, and he realized that not only would he know when and if you died, but he would feel every single sensation. He could feel that you had a papercut on your left ring finger. He could feel that your pulse was hammering and you wanted to panic.

He could feel that you were trying not to cry, because you had come to the same conclusion he had.

You could feel words from him. “i’m sorry i won’t be there to take your soul if you die.”

You smiled somberly and touched his magic, feeling that connection to him and its strength. “I’m still right here. We’ll both be lost together… if it’s any consolation.” You responded.

 

* * *

 

Toriel hated being down here alone. It was dark, gloomy, and everything just felt wrong. Like the sick bay in the Foothold, centuries ago, where she’d watched the soldierssoldiers slowly die. Where she’d watched her mother slowly die.

She needed to find Asgore and get out of here quickly. She was tired of watching people die, and if this plan didn’t work, she’d see a lot more yet.

Asgore was silent and somber as she lifted his pot. He felt different, she noted. She could almost convince herself she could feel the echo of the bond they’d once shared. She could feel something very strange though, something old and foreign about him.

“I’m sorry, Toriel.”

“For what, sweetheart?” She asked absently, checking on you as you walked toward Asgore’s garden.

She hadn’t been paying attention, and the root that grasped her foot from the ground tripped her easily. The pot flew from her hands and crashed to the ground. Asgore took the chance and--

“Asgore?” Toriel stared at the broken pot and empty soil. “Oh… Oh… shit.”

 

* * *

 

It was dark there, in the throne room. You’d never seen it dark, and it should have felt creepy, but… you felt serene. You felt at peace. Whatever would happen would happen-- and all you could do was take it one day at a time. This was a helluva day, yes, and… well, if it went wrong, you’d never have to worry about another day again…

But there was a peace somewhere in this hellish situation. You clung to it… You were filled with Hope.

And then the room got even darker, a single beam of light shining where the throne should have been. Flowey was there, and he was staring at you expectantly.

There was no malice, no anger. In fact… he offered a weak smile and spoke softly to you. “I… recognize that look. You’re as Determined as Frisk was when they left us all here to rot.” You decided to let him talk as you tried to puzzle out what to do. You readied your song magic in your soul, letting the energy well up.

“Do you know how many times I interfered with the experiments so you wouldn’t die? You’re my last shot.”

“Last shot?”

The flower’s eyes were hard as he stared up at you. “For a happy ending.” Now you could see it. His soul, tattered, was held together by strands of color of varying shades. Blue, Purple, Yellow, Orange, Cyan, Green…

He was powerful, yes… but because of the other souls, he could feel. Was that what Blue was trying to lead you into figuring out? Flowey had been fighting the Void so hard, and...

The hardness in his eyes faded as he saw understanding dawn on you. You sank to your knees in front of him as he began to cry.

“You’re too strong, you know that? Just…” He shrank down. “It won’t be a problem then. I can’t Reset. Just kill me.”

In spite of his words, the threads of color around his soul constricted, pulling the shards closer together. You could feel the silent dare there. **You’ll have to go through us, first!**

“They were gonna kill you. They were going to use you to search for the souls. They would have broken the barrier… but if they did that… what happens to me? What happens to the Underground?” His tears came harder. “I don’t want to be a flower! I don’t want to stay down here when the sky falls in and the other flowers wither without magic to sustain them!” You reached out and he let you cradle his head. He shouldn’t have felt this fragile. He was still just a child, you realized. Power aside, he was just a scared, trembling, misunderstood, and lonely child. “I always told Frisk to just leave me down here but I can’t _do_ this anymore!”

“Why do you have to stay down here?” You asked.

“I’m not the same without these souls! No one wants to be around me!” He paused, and a memory crossed his face. “Even me… Just… take the souls and kill me.” He paused. “You’re the only one who can do this. Everyone else…” He sighed. “Please.”

You formed a cone around Flowey, keeping him from escaping, and focused your healing magic on his soul in waves. Your speaker sparked and sputtered, the sheer amount of magic throwing it off. You only now realized how weak Flowey was.

You were accustomed to Asgore’s refusal to heal, so when Flowey smiled up at you as the healing immediately took effect, you were surprised. The threads of color faded away, and you saw what resembled glowing orbs of color drifting toward the barrier room. The souls had been holding him together all this time, giving him hope, refusing to let him give up… but now they could rest.

You let the forcefield down when you were sure Flowey wouldn’t resist. “Thank you.” He whispered, and the face in the flower disappeared. You stared at the now-inanimate flower for a solid minute of absolute silence.

“It’s over?” You sputtered. “Flowey?” You called. You waited a moment, the silence deafening you. “Asriel?”

But nobody came.

You got back to your feet, dusted your knees free of grass and turned to walk to wherever you could meet with Sans.

When you turned, though, you noticed another flower that stared up at you with shocked eyes.

“Asriel?” You asked, hoping to whatever gods would listen that--

Pain and memory lanced the flower’s expression, and his face turned into a frightening snarl. You felt something then, and your stomach sank. He was filled with Determination-- and your magic.

Using that raw, massive amount of energy that he’d stored for days now, he began to change. His stem thickened and grew, the ground crumbling away as he rose from it. His petals were jagged now, and his body consisted of woven vines covered in thorns.

He was massive, towering over you by well over a foot and a half. You could imagine that his petals were a mane and beard, and--

In his hands, white-hot magic coalesced and turned crimson. You watched as it formed a trident longer than you were tall. His fingers gave way to vines, and you leapt out of the way as his vine-arm extended to attack you with the trident. More vines wormed across and into the ground beneath your feet and you realized this would not be a fight you could win.

“Asgore, stop! You don’t have to do this!”

He didn’t hesitate, and you dodged again, trying your best to watch your step.

You didn’t have time to think of actions, all you could do was what you did best. You grappled your magic and hurled it at him, hoping that you could reach him-- and when it did nothing, you tried to shield yourself.

The armor that Paps had given you materialized, and vines withered just before they touched you. Asgore let out an angered roar, and you continued to focus on defense while trying to figure out a plan.

 

* * *

 

 ~~You took your time. This was not how it was supposed to go, Asriel!~~ Of course Gaster understood what was going on. Asriel had kept the souls safe for these years. Who’s to say that someone else wouldn’t have gotten impatient enough to take the souls and go topside for the final one in the three years of further entrapment? Now that Gaster saw what was happening, everything was suddenly too clear and he knew he had no one to blame but himself-- and Toriel, but mostly himself.

The childish form confronted Gaster. “Where are they?”

Behind Gaster, Charisk poked their head around, the darkness in their eye sockets dripping downward slowly only to leech back up their face. “Azzy.”

“I need to fuse with you.”

Gaster and the child exchanged glances and nodded to each other. The child rushed forward to the small goat monster.

 _Our combined energy will be crazy. This will hurt you._ Frisk signed.

“I don’t care.” Asriel said, and the children embraced.

 

* * *

 

One misstep was all it took. You saw it coming but couldn’t move fast enough.

There was no way to heal now… it’s quite difficult to sing when you’re impaled through the chest with a trident.

You stared into Asgore’s eyes, pinned to the wall. His hand wavered on the handle, but his eyes were hard.

 

Everywhere, it was as if time had stopped. Undyne dropped to her knees, face slack in shock and then rage. Toriel wept because this time she felt it really was her fault. Papyrus felt helpless, seeing the armor he’d lovingly created be splintered so completely, realizing that there was nothing he could do-- at least, not in time to save you, the additional torment that it was _Asgore_ of all people, mister Fluffybuns himself.

Sans had fallen to the ground, trying to scream but unable to. Those without eyepatches who were in the lab stared in horror at the screen that showed in vivid detail what had just happened.

 

Why were you still alive?

You reached out and grappled at the prongs, trying to move yourself, but you were quite literally pinned to the wall. Your face began to return to its natural state and you coughed up blood, staining the flowers under you.

_You can’t die. You must PERSEVERE._

You could feel Sans hurting. He’s begging you to live. “don’t take this away from me.” You were clutching at the trident, unable to get it out. You were trapped.

Asgore was crying, and he released the trident and backed away.

 

* * *

 

Asriel left the Void unscathed, the power still wriggling in his soul unsteadily. It’s amazing how a soul freely given is stronger than seven taken by force, he thought. But this wasn’t just freely given, was it?

Chara and Frisk had almost entirely sublimated with him. They had been so weak, so corrupted by the Void. Asriel was all that was left holding them to any form-- and he knew he wouldn’t be able to do so forever without some help. It was already taking an immense toll on him. He desperately needed healing magic.

Ahead of him, his father stood, staring at him, hand falling away from his trident. Asriel commanded himself not to look at you. He had to focus and believe you’d be okay.

This was far from the first time he’d faced off against his father, but this time he wouldn't deal the deathblow.

Asriel stood in front of you, arms spread, staring into Asgore’s eyes. And finally, recognition dawned. It was something in Asriel’s eyes, that deep-set stoicism. His _children_ were there. His children were _alive_.

The trident turned into petals and melted away, becoming ashen before they touched the ground. You sank down, back thudding against the wall.

You still couldn’t breathe and the pain was so intense you were wishing that you could just die already. You couldn’t sing now, you couldn’t heal-- your magic welled, mostly spent.

Asgore stared at his son, unblinking. His bitterness was still there, you could feel it in waves. But he’s also weakened and distracted. His resolve was gone. You had a choice. If you focus through your speaker, you could finally heal his soul, save him… but you probably wouldn’t have enough to save yourself.

You heard Sans. _no. you can’t do this, shale._

You chose for the good of the Underground. Weakly, you remarked internally, “Seven souls.”

 _no!_ You sent the energy to Asgore and realized that you had nothing left to hold you together. Wow… you’d literally never been this drained. When, what felt like ages ago, Sans had warned you to never over-exert yourself, this must have been what he meant.

You couldn’t see Asriel and Asgore anymore. It was like the room had darkened, and there were only the bloodstained flowers under and immediately around you, the hard wall behind you, streaked in your blood...

“It’s okay.” You lied, feeling your soul begin to crack. You expected it to feel painful but… it was as if anything further would just feel numb. “I love you, Sans. And I’m sorry.”


	41. Behind My Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Read End Notes Of Chapter Very Carefully.

~~_no. you fucking promised me!_ Sans cried out in your head.~~

~~You collapsed entirely, and everything went dark.~~

~~Asgore moved forward, his form degenerating until he was only a flower again. He and his son rushed to you.~~

~~"Oh Stars, what have I done?"~~

~~Asriel slung Asgore over and around his shoulders like a thorned shawl and then rushed to pick you up.~~

~~Asgore understood now. Memories and soul restored, Asgore could see who-- and _what_ \-- you were.~~

~~As Asriel lifted you, Asgore checked you, desperately seeking knowledge that you would live. Your wounds were gruesome; blood had drenched your clothes.~~

~~Humans can’t survive this type of thing, and Asgore knew that from experience.~~

~~They had been too late. Your eyes were glossy. You didn’t breathe.~~

~~Asgore realized he’d never have a chance to fix this.~~

~~Somewhere, it was raining.~~

 

* * *

 

~~"you can’t leave it this way." Sans said. He looked almost disfigured nowadays. Glaring underneath his hood, he met Asriel’s eyes.~~

~~"I… Sans, our last file is more than four years ago."~~

~~"i don’t care. i don’t care if i have to do it all over again, as long as they live."~~

~~Asriel thought for a moment. "The three of us… kinda got mixed together. I might be the only one who remembers."~~

~~"i don’t care!" He repeated.~~

~~Asriel looked around. The small, shoddy apartment was the only one not decorated for Christmas. From what Asriel could see of Sans’ house, it was completely empty.~~

~~Stranger than that was how clean it smelled and looked. Asriel thought Papyrus might have had something to do with that-- but he’d been in Europe for months now.~~

~~No. From what Gaster had told him when he sent Asriel over, Sans was still living in hope that you would walk into his home, ready to make it yours. Ready to reclaim him as yours.~~

~~Even after a full year since your death…~~

~~"Okay, Sans. I’ll try. And I’ll do everything I can."~~

~~The relief Sans exuded broke Asriel’s heart.~~

~~Asriel geared himself up. It was like a long-unused muscle. It felt wrong to call upon that power he hadn’t touched in so long.~~

~~Sans began to ask how long it would take-- but Asriel was already loading files.~~ ~~  
~~

 

* * *

 

You couldn’t remember dreams, but you usually didn’t care. However, you’d never woken up crying before.

Ko was already gone. Usually that prompted yelling at you to get up and start cooking breakfast. He must have decided he’d rather eat out before work.

For some reason, you were more detached than usual. This didn’t feel real. You kept looking around because you didn't feel like you were alone-- not in the creepy way, but the comforting way. But thinking about Ko made you feel scared and… guilty?

Guilty.

What the hell happened in that dream?

_oh my god._

You yelped and looked around, searching for the source of the voice.

_who the hell are you?_

"Who are _you_?! And why are you in my head?"

 _i… i don’t know_. There was a pause. _i don’t know but… why do i feel so... relieved?_

You sighed. "You, too?" You couldn’t deny there was something wrong. Your heart was hammering and you didn’t feel crazy. Like this was normal, good, and just what you’d always been missing.

You felt something safe in him.

 _what’s your name?_ He asked.

You told him. He said it back to you. It felt wrong. You went into the bathroom and took off your night shirt.

 _i’m sans_. He said. _sans the ssssss--uh… wait._

You were in front of a full-body mirror, applying makeup to the bruises and scars. "What’s a suh-wait?"

_you’re a human. oh my god. what happened to you?_

"Wait, what?" You covered your body. "First off, why is it surprising that I’m human, and second off / _you better not be watching me_!"

_oh god i didnt mean to._

You caught a glimpse now, blue fabric, snow, skeletal fingers. "What’s that?"

_ah shit, this is so weird. why is this a thing?_

 

* * *

 

Over the course of the next week, getting used to Sans became less of an effort than keeping him a secret from Ko.

The first time Ko hit you again, though, Sans was loud suddenly aware of multiple things: the amount of pain that caused _him_ should have killed him, and that you were most certainly in danger.

You tried to stay, but Sans wouldn’t leave you alone. It wasn’t only because he felt pain too. The more the two of you talked, the more he cared about you.

You packed your things very slowly, so Ko wouldn’t notice. When Ko was at work, you let yourself get excited. You’d sing.

Sans sang along to some songs, and it made you happy. No one had ever sung along with you like that. You began teaching him songs.

You were able to access Ko’s funds, and so you took tiny bits at a time so he wouldn’t notice. You applied for jobs the next town over, applied at an apartment complex too. You had to erase your phone’s history semi-constantly so Ko wouldn’t see anything out of the ordinary. If you changed your phone’s password, he’d know you were hiding something.

Sans was the best encouragement. For some reason, when he spoke to you, you felt powerful.

"Hey, Sans, I want to help you, okay?" You said one night. "Watch me make pasta tonight and teach the recipe to your brother. If I burp up that taste one more time this week, I will either vomit or go crazier than I already am."

_i’m too lazy for that._

"Say that after you’ve tried it, ok?"

 

* * *

 

The move was flawless. Ko hadn’t found you, and after 6 months, you quit looking for his car outside your window before bed and after waking.

You were radiant. It showed, and so you started dating again. It was at this point that Sans began to understand something very clearly.

He was jealous.

You had to excuse yourself to the bathroom during a date. For insurance, you put your cellphone to your ear, so no one would think you were crazy. You glared into your own eyes and hissed, "Sans, if you make _one more pun_ about his eyebrows or his fingers or _anything else_ I…" you had been so close to snorting in your date's face, and your mortification at the probability that you _would_ before the night was over made it urgent that you get this out of the way. 

_admit it, kid, my puns are the highlight of this date._

"Sans, this isn’t funny."

_you’re right. it’s fucking sad. you can do better than this guy. c’mon, quit selling yourself short._

" _You’re_ talking about _short?_ Sans, who’s gonna be good enough? I just… I stayed with Ko for the longest time because I didn’t want to be alone."

_you’re **not alone** though._

Your hard gaze into your own eyes slowly softened. "Am I not?"

 _look… i’m being selfish. but i can feel you with me all the time. when i do standup, you laugh the hardest. when my brother’s around, you sit through me bragging about how cool he is, and you agree. and… look, if… fuck_.

"Sans?"

_it’s nothing._

"It’s obviously not."

_i’m real. you’re not crazy, and us being able to talk isn’t just some weird thing._

"What?"

 _i’m real, and i have **real** feelings. okay? there’s got to be a reason, because i shouldn’t have felt like this from day one. but i have, and it should have been weird and..._ /

"Sans… wh--"

_i fucking love you. and one day i’m gonna find you up there, and… god, i just don’t know if i can wait, knowing someone else-- maybe someone better than me-- could swoop in and take you away._

"Sans, calm down."

_i can’t! i can’t! i don’t know why, but the idea of you moving on without me makes me want to die and…_

"I can wait."

…

_you…?_

"I’m willing to wait. Honestly… everything you said, if it were anyone else, it would have creeped me out. But I can’t get past the feeling there’s more to us than I know." You sighed. "I hoped I could… get over it, convince myself I was just being weird."

_you…_

"I’ll wait for you. And then you can take me on a date, and… hell, what am I saying? What if I’m fucked up? What if you’re just a hallucination?"

_two years. someone i know said… that’s when the world will be ready._

"Two years?"

_two. i know that’s… a long time._

"No… no, I… I think it’ll give me us time."

_you think so?_

"I mean… keeps us from rushing."

_heh… heheheh… yeah. you’re right._

"And, Sans?"

_yeah?_

You clicked the phone closed and pocketed it, leaving the bathroom.

"I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER WAS NOT CANON, THE TRUE ENDING WILL BE POSTED NEXT. 
> 
> Behind My Eyes was actually a scrapped Soul-Searcher AU I came up with about a year ago.


	42. Resolution.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An ending of sorts-- but will it give **birth** to a new beginning?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> back to our regularly scheduled and sanctioned Canon.
> 
> to recap:
> 
>  
> 
> _You still couldn’t breathe and the pain was so intense you were wishing that you could just die already. You couldn’t sing now, you couldn’t heal-- your magic welled, mostly spent._
> 
>  
> 
> _Asgore stared at his son, unblinking. His bitterness was still there, you could feel it in waves. But he’s also weakened and distracted. His resolve was gone. You had a choice. If you focus through your speaker, you could finally heal his soul, save him… but you probably wouldn’t have enough to save yourself._
> 
>  
> 
> _You heard Sans. no. you can’t do this, shale._
> 
>  
> 
> _You chose for the good of the Underground. Weakly, you remarked internally, “Seven souls.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _no! You sent the energy to Asgore and realized that you had nothing left to hold you together. Wow… you’d literally never been this drained. When, what felt like ages ago, Sans had warned you to never over-exert yourself, this must have been what he meant._
> 
>  
> 
> _You couldn’t see Asriel and Asgore anymore. It was like the room had darkened, and there were only the bloodstained flowers under and immediately around you, the hard wall behind you, streaked in your blood..._
> 
>  
> 
> _“It’s okay.” You lied, feeling your soul begin to crack. You expected it to feel painful but… it was as if anything further would just feel numb. “I love you, Sans. And I’m sorry.”_

_no. you fucking promised me!_ Sans cried out, and you felt the bond tighten around your splintering soul. _i won’t let you!_

Phantom hands staunched the flow of blood. They were the color of your magic, but skeletal. You could hear him crying now. _don’t give up. please... for me, just..._

There was a glow just outside of your reach-- _six_ glows. Blue, Purple, Yellow, Cyan, Green, Orange. You could feel them, and the energy they were trying to contribute.

_it isn’t time for you to die yet, kid._

_You must PERSEVERE! I know it’s hard, but you have to hold on. I wish I had._

_You can do this. I believe in you!_

You struggled to keep going, but… looking back, you realized you didn’t know how to stop. _That’s right! You got this!_

_It’s not your time yet._

_It will never be your time._

You were aware now of Sans’s voice. He was singing to you. You couldn’t hear the words, but the tune was familiar. You were almost able to hear his words--

You collapsed entirely, and everything went dark.

 

Asgore moved forward, his form degenerating until he was only a flower again. He and his son rushed to you.

"Oh Stars, what have I done?"

Asriel slung Asgore over and around his shoulders like a thorned shawl and then rushed to pick you up.

Asgore understood now. Memories and soul restored, Asgore could see who-- and _what_ \-- you were.

As Asriel lifted you, Asgore checked you, desperately seeking knowledge that you would live. Your wounds were gone, the only sign they’d been there was the blood that had drenched your clothes.

Humans can’t survive this type of thing, and Asgore knew that from experience. But you would live.

And maybe… he’d have a chance to beg your forgiveness.

Asriel looked to the six souls and nodded to them in thanks. They wandered back to their confines. If they persisted outside for too long their DT would fall too low and they’d lose their form.

They seemed content to wait to be used to break the Barrier. They would have to wait until you recovered-- but they could rest easy knowing you would.

 

* * *

 

Papyrus stood in the lab, Gaster’s instructions clear in his mind. He was resolute, and told himself it would only hurt for a while. Just a while.

His bones wouldn’t grow back together on that palm with the pieces missing, but he always wore gloves, and Gaster had promised to fix it with some kind of mechanism that would restore use to his hand.

In the vat, the bone pieces were already growing with Papyrus’ intent. He opened a Hole within the vat, and Gaster reached into the physical world for the first time in many years.

"CONSIDER US EVEN." Papyrus said. "YOU CAN LET YOURSELF OUT. I NEED TO REST AND TEND TO MY BROTHER AND HIS MATE."

Two or three days later, Gaster was grown and stable enough to emerge. His reintroduction was not quick, but it wasn’t painful either, so he soon found himself at your bedside.

Despite Papyrus’ shortness with him previously, the two spent a deal of time together in the cafeteria area of the lab, talking about everything and nothing.

Papyrus still didn’t call him father or dad… but neither did Gaster call him son.

One day, Papyrus spoke up. "Technically, we’re the same person. We made _each other_."

"Yes. I suppose you could see it that way." Gaster was proud of the way Papyrus was learning better control over his voice.

"Is it strange, then, that I consider you more as another brother than anything?"

Gaster blinked at him curiously for a moment. "I… I don’t suppose it’s strange...?"

"WELL GOOD. NOW I DON’T HAVE TO STOP CALLING EVERY SKELETON I ENCOUNTER ‘BROTHER.’"

"You are going to confuse so many people on the surface when Halloween comes around." Gaster massaged his temples.

 

Toriel didn’t have time or energy to reprimand Alphys after what happened. She and Asgore were reconnecting, and Muffet had joined the fray.

Muffet didn’t always know how to interact with Asriel, honestly-- but he certainly put on a bit of weight from all the sweets she had him test.

Alphys and Gaster were hard at work for a couple days before a breakthrough occurred. By converting readings on the individual souls into certain parameters, it became possible to make vessels for the six souls, based on what their souls remembered about their forms.

It was a success. Toriel was ecstatic now that she had so many robo-babies in addition to Asriel.

Of course, there was one particular robot who suddenly was able to interact with his children for the first time ever. Papyrus was wary of the just-under five-foot tall sapphire-tinted robot who had tackled him exuberantly and immediately began talking about how much Papyrus looked like Gaster.

Sans’ first meeting with Blue was about as disorienting, since Sans hadn’t expected it, sitting bedside to you, slowly funneling magic into you until he’d pass out, only to wake up and do it again.

Blue had been about that exhausting, anyway. Luckily, Blue was as merciful as he was loud, and so he didn’t stay long that day, vowing to be back when it was convenient.

Worse still was Gaster’s reintroduction to Grillby. They’d met again in the room where you lay dormant. The two men exchanged a long look. A long… _long_ look. It was a single occasion that Sans wasn’t in the room. Papyrus had had to pack him out while he was asleep, to make sure he ate something other than packets of crackers.

The standoff was unbearably tense for the longest time. And then--

“okay, everyone! get the dicks outta your mouths and talk to each other right now.” Blue spoke, peeking around Gaster at Grillby. “it’s nice to meet you, by the way. i’m blue, and i totally don’t see why this has to be awkward or weird. let’s just wait for sans to get back in here, then we can all go get drinks and catch up-- or in my case get to know you.”

Grillby stared at Blue for a moment, glanced back up at Gaster, and then back at Blue before his face cracked into a stunning and hilariously rich smile. It produced a warmth that harkened back to centuries ago. His raucous laugh revived memories of rain and steam and the gorgeous rhythm of Grillby’s swordplay.

It wasn’t that he longed for that again, no. It was just so… striking, the familiarity, the nostalgia of that laugh.

When Gaster had agreed to bond with Grillby, he hadn’t taken it seriously. After the fact, it was clear that Grillby had felt much stronger than he had, himself. Would becoming friends again-- especially concerning Blue-- be harsh? Should he distance himself.

“Winoc, it’s been centuries. We both have children, now.”

Gaster made a strangled noise.

“I adopted Shale.” Grillby reminded him. “My child is dating your child. Partially thanks to me.”

“Oh yes, that. Of course.”

“I’m not going to be upset. I’ve been taking care of the boys for so long that I almost considered them my own.” He paused for a moment. “I’d like to say that’s because I remembered you.”

“You were always so close to. It frightened me. I never wished you pain.”

“I know that, Winoc.”

“oh my god, i’m sorry to cut into this very personal thing, but wingdingus never told me his old name sounded like ‘wee knock.’ and then i thought ‘hey i’m about eye-level with his crotch because he’s ungodly tall and i’m still so fucking short and i could prolly knock him in the wee and-and-and i’m trying really hard not to crack up but jesus fucking christ on a crutch it’s the hardest thing i’ve done which is saying something because i’ve done ‘ween’ here and have you _seen_ him?”

Gaster covered his face, Grillby laughed. The three went out for drinks.

Since Blue’s revival, Gaster’s mood had improved 1000%, and though he couldn’t see futures anymore, he noted that it wasn’t necessary. He visited Sans in the lab one time, and only the one time. Very carefully, he sat down and spoke to him. “I know you’ve never been one to take my word, but I just wanted you to know everything is going to be okay. It could have… certainly gone worse for Shale.”

“when will they wake up, g?” He was so tired. He could still feel you there, he could tell you weren’t in pain, but… he was so scared.

“Give them time, Sans. Before I left the Void, I saw that they would wake up. Believe in that.”

“... i have a question.”

Gaster didn’t like that tone.

“there was something you wanted to tell them. to tell _us_.”

“You’re curious now?” He chuckled. Sans found Gaster’s amusement disconcerting. He’d been happy since Blue came back. Kinder, too.

“just... tell me it was something good. something that can still happen.”

“Of course. Why do you think I care so much for Shale?” He relaxed in the chair, a smile on his face. “Even you should have seen how quickly my temperament changed.”

“what was it?”

He smiled but said nothing.

“g, you’ve gotta give me something here. you said you’d tell us.”

“Well… it’s not my decision that that particular future happens.” He said. “On a _totally unrelated_ note, however, I’d like to talk to you about some pod designs, modifications. So on.”

“pods?”

“I believe you refer to them as Vats. Such as I was revived with.”

It made Sans think. Gaster held back a victorious chuckle and got up. “I’ll leave you to it, then… er… son.”

Sans looked up at Gaster with an odd expression. “thanks, i guess… dad.”

 

* * *

 

You can hear voices but it’s probably the announcer on the radio. You’re in the driver’s seat of a car. It’s moving like you’re on a boat, and you feel nauseous.

Someone’s holding your hand. You look over and see Sans. He speaks, but though it’s his voice, you know somehow that it’s your subconscious speaking.

"The Void is quieter around me, isn’t it?” His smile was gentle. "Why is that?"

Your voice was weak and barely audible. "You give me hope.”

He squeezed your hand and it felt so real. "Then wake up. You represent so many hopes. It’d be a shame to take that away, right?" He squeezed again, and your consciousness swam.

Sans was bedside, of course, fingers intertwined with yours, head rested on the bed. He was snoring rhythmically. You sat, letting your eyes adjust.

Another sound in the room brought your attention to the door. Grillby was coming in with a bag that smelled like grease and holy shit you were hungry. When he saw you were awake, however, he dropped the bag and rushed over at you, very carefully scooping you into a hug, breaking your hand-hold on Sans.

“Wake up!” Grillby nudged Sans with his foot. “EVERYONE!”

You grumbled, upset from the yelling.

It was a goddamn flood. The tiny room you were in-- you recognized it now. It was the room where the experiments had begun, back when you first fell down here.

The flood of people didn’t seem like it was going to stop. Who the hell were these robots? What the hell was going on?

Sans was awake now, too, and fighting Grillby to hold you. “Someone please put me back down on the bed.” You rasped.

 

The barrier was broken, and the ambassador’s team was formed. You, Gaster, Asriel, and Alphys. Only those least imposing and most likely to survive a lengthy conversation of political and/or legal jargon had been chosen. Asgore and Toriel had their hands full, as well.

Undyne and Umiyo studied how to get to Japan, but there were no real safeguards or allowances on international travel for monsters-- it wasn’t until Alphys was contracted to come to Japan for research about making sentient robots that the plans came to fruition. She was offered an all-expenses paid live-in study, and was able to take four people with her. Of course Undyne, Umiyo, and Starry were her first picks, but Mettaton was more interested in getting noticed in America for the time being-- and so she somehow ended up with one of the Robo-children in tow, as well. She called herself Violet, and Starry had totally taken to her as a sister.

Burgerpants and Napstablook, unsurprisingly, started applying for little studio apartments-- but Mettaton ultimately funded it. If he was to go on tour, they were going to go with him, at least until he felt confident enough to face human crowds by himself. For all his bravado, he was an absolute mess behind closed doors. "What if they don't love me? What if I really _am_ just an overconfident narcissist?" His momentary self-doubt would ultimately be unfounded. He was definitely spearheading Monster culture integrating into Human consumption.

Who else did? _Papyrus_. His fans of his "amazing cg" before the Barrier broke, had taken to him in almost a cult-like manner. He became a world-famous vlogger within two weeks. He introduced many of the monsters to fame this way by having them recur in his videos-- and went on to befriend such names as Thomas Sanders and Bo Burnham. His next target is John Mulaney, because he loves how he dresses. Now, one must call to the imagination, Papyrus dressed as a hipster. Skinny jeans, thrift-store boots, sweaters and cardigans in an alarming number of endearing shades, and always the same red scarf. Oh, but that's not enough. When the need arises, he knows intimately well how to dress for success.

It needn't be said that Papyrus, on top of his fan following, has countless blogs worshiping him in ~~terrible~~ other ways on tumblr. Despite everyone's prayers that he hasn't found them, he has a tumblr-- and so the likelihood that he's blissfully unaware is as unlikely as it is hopeful.

 

The rest of the monsters set up camp on a little plateau until they can find permanent residence in town. As it was, they were not too far from the mountain. You and Sans camped out too, for moral support for the most part. The first time it rained, everyone sat beneath lean-tos, awash in awe at the new phenomenon. You and Sans had run out into it, yelling and laughing. Children followed at first, and then adults. All of the underground danced in the rain, roaring back at the thunder.

 

* * *

 

"i want to show you something." Sans said one evening. “plus, i got some stuff down in the lab i haven’t boxed up yet."

You agreed to go down there with him, of course. Ever since you’d woken up, the two of you had seldom been apart.

The Underground was barren and so silent that it was maddening. "Make a note for me, okay? When we get a place, I want a potted echo flower by the front door and glowing mushrooms in the bedroom."

"sure, babe."

You giggled, and followed him into the lab.

He stared for a while.

"What’s wrong?"

"might be the last time i step in here. i don’t know what happens from here. guess i’m kinda scared."

"It’s gonna be okay." You told him, hugging him from behind. "Let’s go in. It’s cold out here. I still have skin."

"right. sorry."

He thought he’d gotten used to his fear of the unknown—but here it was, rearing its head again. Despite that fear, though, he felt the now-familiar sensation of hope, flaring ever brighter when he felt your hand on his shoulder, giving him a gentle and reassuring squeeze.

"hey shale."

You moved past him and began looking at the blueprints on his table. "Hm?"

“are you sure you want me with you?”

“Yeah.” You replied patiently. How many times had you answered this question lately? He’d been antsy for a few days now, though you couldn’t figure out why. “Sans, we have so much to do. I want you there for it.”

He sighed, trying to keep his breath steady.

"Plus, we’re bonded. That’s… kind of a thing." You added.

He chuckled, and you could feel him calm down a bit.

“So what is it that you wanted to show me?”

He jolted. How would you react to what he wanted to ask? Fuck, here he was getting scared all over again. He stepped toward the counters, running his hands over them a final time. He’d already cleared the drawers out. He reached up and grabbed the White Ink Reports and handed them over to you. You slid the file into the satchel on your hip that you’d brought.

He forced himself to breathe deeply, and reminded himself that moving forward was the only option. As much as he’d love to spend forever in this victorious moment where time stood still and there was only you and him… he wanted to see you topside.

He wanted to see you silhouetted in sunlight, moonlight… he wanted to see you the way the humans had. He wanted to see and love the you that had been squandered by your own race. He wanted to have a mediocre little rental house on the edge of town, host dnd parties, eat terrible take out, game until the tv exploded.

He wanted to celebrate holidays with you-- and he… he couldn’t keep dragging his feet.

With a decided nod, he drug himself to the busted machine in the corner. Firmly gripping the sheet draped over it, he tugged it. It didn’t budge. You snickered. He felt his smile hitch at the noise. The tension in the room mostly broken, he tugged again, harder, and the sheet cooperated.

“Wow.” You said. After a pregnant pause, you whispered. “Uhh, what is it?”

He chuckled, the nervousness apparent therein. “it’s… i guess you could say it’s an incubator. it’s the one paps was born in.”

“Oh.” You said. After another pause. “ _Oh_.”

“i couldn’t fix it… but you know… now that dad’s back, maybe we can build one even better. i, uhhh… i never really figured it would be worth trying, ya know? i mean… why would i want to make a little clone of myself?”

He looked up at you. “shale, i know how you feel about this stuff, okay? i respect that. say no, and i’ll never bring it up again. this thing will sit down here and rust up like—”

“Sans.” You interrupted him. He deflated, preparing for a wrath he expected but you honestly couldn’t produce. “Are you asking me to…?”

He sighed, sensing your emotions. Both of you were aware that each other’s feelings were a massive clusterfuck of things you couldn’t understand. “shale… i want to build a future with you.”

The words hung there in the silence as you turned them over in your head. Months ago, those words would have scared the absolute hell out of you—to be honest, they still kind of did—but you understood that unlike other situations, this would be of your choosing. No accidents, no guilt… It was an act of free will on your part. Your future was yours— no…

“Hope you like sitting around, eating bad Chinese take-out, and playing games until you have carpal tunnel.” The future was _both_ of yours.

He laughed. “so we’re still on?”

You grabbed him and pulled him to you, into a hug, and he actually budged. You felt his magic like a static hum through your bones, and you sank into the embrace as he returned it. “As long as you’ll keep me.” You hadn’t meant to say it like a question, but you needed the reassurance, yourself.

He loved the feeling of your pulse, like you were in his head. Your eyes met, and he carefully leaned in to press his teeth to your lips. You breathlessly returned the kiss, and he felt joy tug his smile ever higher. Both of you shook as your souls called out for each other. Almost shyly, you glanced into his sockets. He chuckled and held you close again.

“i’ll keep you till the end. promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY SO i finally finished. BUT!
> 
> Guess what's next? That's right. BONUS CONTENT.
> 
> So what i need you do to, is if you want to keep seeing this stuff, subscribe to the series-- or to my name so you don't miss out on anything. I truly appreciate it!
> 
> ive got a lot to work on, so keep an eye out.
> 
> (also, feel free to help me out by [buying me a coffee](https://ko-fi.com/H2H45IKI))

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, all. Thank you for reading this. This is my first ever fanfiction, and dear gods, it is going to be a doozy. I have a lot planned for it, so I hope you'll be along for the ride. I would love any and all constructive feedback. Remember that this is all a work in progress, please! I will do my best to regularly update it.  
> Also, if there are any ideas for something you'd like to see, do tell me! Eventually, I intend to upload some art for the fic as well (but it requires me to draw, as well as successfully utilize a scanner...) when it's possible.  
> Be sure to check me out on tumblr at www.zaiyofics.tumblr.com! I love fun things, so if you have feedback or something funny, please don't be afraid to drop me a line! Also... #SwearToDitty.

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